Pushing the Limits

She waved her hand around like she was going to explain. Her hand kept moving, but her mouth stayed shut. Finally she dropped her hand and took another drink. “I’ve got no clue. Let’s dance, birthday girl.”

We threw our empty cups in the garbage and wove through the crowd to the source of the pumping music. Music … dancing … Luke had said I needed to find him. I opened my mouth to tell Lila when she abruptly stopped. “I’ve gotta pee.” She took a sharp left and closed the bathroom door behind her.

I leaned my right shoulder against it and listened for dry heaves. Nope, she was definitely peeing.

Pain shot down my left arm when someone ran into me and kept walking. I glanced over my shoulder. “Watch it!”

A girl with long black hair, dressed in black from head to toe and sporting a nose ring, stepped toward me. She stood close enough that I could count her eyelashes over her bloodshot eyes.

“Get out of my way and there wouldn’t be a problem.”

Okay. I was a complete wuss. I’d never gotten into a fistfight in my life. Did anything to avoid people yelling at me. Worried at night that I may have offended someone. So when this biker-looking chick stood there with her arms stretched out wide, waiting for my witty comeback or me to throw a punch, I considered puking.

“Back off, Beth,” a deep, husky voice called out behind me. Crap. I knew that voice.

Biker Beth’s gaze settled right behind my shoulder. “She yelled at me.”

“You ran into her first.” Noah Hutchins stood beside me. His biceps touched my shoulder.

The corners of her mouth stretched up. “You didn’t tell me you were fucking Echo Emerson.”

“Oh, God,” I moaned. She knew me—and she thought I was doing “it” with him. The room tilted and the warm fuzzy feeling I loved faded. Happy birthday to me.

“She’s my tutor.”

I leaned against the wall and wished everything would stop moving.

“Whatever. I’ll see you outside when you’re done studying.” Biker chick Beth waggled her eyebrows and walked away.

Fantastic. Another rumor to worry about. I needed to get away from him. Noah Hutchins meant nothing but bad news. First he made fun of me. Then he saw my scars. Then he destroyed my hopes of fixing Aires’ car. Then he made people think we were doing “it.”

I tried the doorknob to the bathroom, hoping to join Lila in there, but it didn’t budge. Locked doors were in direct violation of the buddy system. Screw it. I pushed off the wall and stumbled to the back door. Air. I needed lots of air.

I inhaled deeply the moment I stepped out onto the patio. The cold air burned my lungs and immediately nipped at the exposed skin on my neck and face. I heard laughter and voices in the darkness beyond the patio line. Probably the stoners smoking their crap.

“Do you have some sort of issue with jackets?”

Come freaking on. Why couldn’t I get rid of him? I spun around and nearly ran into Noah. Depth perception and beer obviously weren’t related. “Are you determined to ruin my life?” Shut up, Echo. “I mean, do you have nothing else to do but destroy me?” That’s enough. You can stop anytime now. “Did you come to this party to tell everyone about my scars?” And I officially became the after-school special on why teenagers shouldn’t drink.

I stared into his eyes and waited for his response. Neither one of us moved. Dear God, Lila and Natalie were right. He was hot. How could I have missed a body built like this? His unzipped jacket exposed his T-shirt, so tight I could see the curve of his muscles. And those dark brown eyes …

Noah straightened his head and coolly responded, “No.”

A cold wind swept across the patio, causing me to shiver. Noah shrugged off his black leather jacket and tossed it around my shoulders. “How are you going to tutor me if you get fucking pneumonia?”

I cocked an eyebrow. What an odd combination of romantic gesture and horribly crude wording. I clutched his jacket, resisting the urge to close my eyes when a sweet, musky scent surrounded me. My slow mind turned one wheel. “That’s twice you brought up tutoring.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. His hair fell into his eyes, blocking my new favorite view. “Nice to know that your mind still works when you’re fucked up.”

“You use that word a lot.” I swayed. Maybe I didn’t need space. I needed a wall. I stumbled and leaned my back against the cold brick. A small mutinous part of my brain chanted “buddy system” over and over again. Yeah, I’ll get on it—in a few.

Noah followed and stopped less than an inch in front of me. So close, the heat from his body enveloped every inch of mine.

“What word?”

“The f one.” Wow. He stood closer to me than Luke had earlier. Close enough that, if he wanted to, he could kiss me.

His dark eyes searched mine and then moved down to inspect the rest of my body. I should tell him to stop or make a sarcastic comment or at least feel degraded, but none of that happened. Not until his lips turned up.

“Meet your approval?” I asked sarcastically.

He laughed. “Yes.” I liked his deep laugh. It tickled my insides.

“You’re high.” Because no one in their right mind would find me attractive. Especially when that person had seen the infamous scars.

“Not yet, but I’m planning on it. Want to come?”

I didn’t need full use of my brain for this answer. “No. I like my brain cells. I find they come in handy when I … oh, I don’t know … think.”

His wicked grin made me smile. Not my fake smile—my real one.

“Funny.” In a lightning-fast move, he placed both of his hands on the brick wall, caging me with his body. He leaned toward me and my heart shifted into a gear I didn’t know existed. His warm breath caressed my neck, melting my frozen skin. I tilted my head, waiting for the solid warmth of his body on mine. I could see his eyes again and those dark orbs screamed hunger. “I heard a rumor.”

“What’s that?” I struggled to get out.

“It’s your birthday.”

Terrified speaking would break the spell, I licked my suddenly dry lips and nodded.

“Happy birthday.” Noah drew his lips closer to mine; that sweet musky smell overwhelmed my senses. I could almost taste his lips when he unexpectedly took a step back, inhaling deeply. The cold air slapped me into the land of the sober.

He ran a hand over his face before heading toward the tree line. “See you soon, Echo Emerson.”

“Wait.” I began to pull off his jacket. “You forgot this.”

“Keep it,” he said without looking back. “I’ll get it from you on Monday. When we discuss tutoring.”

And Noah Hutchins—girl-using stoner boy and jacket-loaning savior—faded into the shadows.

NOAH

“What I don’t get is why you gave her your jacket.” Beth’s head and hair dangled off the mattress. She took a hit off the joint and passed it to Isaiah.

“Because she was cold.” I slouched so far back into the couch that if I relaxed any further it might open up and consume me. I chuckled. This was good shit.

After my run-in with Echo, I bought some pot, gathered Beth and Isaiah from the woods behind Michael Blair’s house and herded us back to Shirley and Dale’s. I couldn’t depend upon either one of them to stay sober enough to drive me home, and I intended to get fucked up beyond belief.

According to my social worker’s file, Isaiah, another foster kid, and I slept in bedrooms upstairs. In reality, this frozen hellhole, more cement block than basement, was where the three of us lived. We took turns sleeping on the old king-size mattress and couch we’d found at Goodwill. We let Beth have the bed upstairs, but when her aunt Shirley and uncle Dale fought, which was most of the time, she shared the mattress with Isaiah while I slept on the couch.

Besides my brothers, Isaiah and Beth were the only people I considered family. I’d met them when Keesha placed me at Shirley and Dale’s the day after my junior year ended. Child Protective Services had placed Isaiah here his freshman year. It was more like a boardinghouse than a home.

Shirley and Dale became foster parents for the money. They ignored us. We ignored them. Beth’s aunt and uncle were okay people, though they had some anger issues. At least they saved their anger for each other. Beth’s mother and boyfriend of the week, on the other hand, liked to take their anger out on Beth, so she stayed here. Keesha remained unaware of this arrangement.

Beth flipped so she could see me straight. “For real. Are you doing her?”

“No.” But after standing so damn close to her, I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of her warm body under mine. I wished I could blame it on the pot, but I couldn’t. I had been as sober as the day of a court-ordered drug test standing next to her on that patio. Her silky red hair had glimmered in the moonlight, those green eyes looked up at me like I was some sort of answer, and, damn, she smelled like cinnamon and sugar fresh out of the oven. I rubbed my head and sighed. What was wrong with me?

Ever since that day at the library, I couldn’t get Echo Emerson out of my head. Even when I visited my brothers, I thought of her and that rocking foot.

She plagued me for several reasons. First, as much as I hated to admit it, I needed the tutoring. If I intended to get my brothers back, I needed to graduate high school, on time, with a job a hell of a lot better than cooking burgers. I’d missed enough class that I was behind and someone who attended class daily could help me catch up.

“Here. There ain’t much left, but give it a try.” Isaiah sat on the floor between the bed and the couch. He passed me the joint.

I took the last hit and held the smoke until my nostrils and lungs burned. And then there were the reasons that confused me. I exhaled. “Tell me about her.”

“Who?” Beth stared at the floor.

“Echo.” What crackhead names their kid Echo? I knew her, yet I didn’t. I only pursued girls who showed an easy interest in me.

Isaiah closed his eyes and rested his head against the couch. He kept his hair buzzed close to his scalp. His ears were pierced multiple times and tattoos ran the length of his arms. “She’s out of your league.”

Beth giggled. “That’s because she turned you down flat freshman year. Isaiah thought he could date up and asked a sophomore out. Little did he know Ms. Perfect had been dating King Luke for a year.”

Isaiah’s lips twitched. “I seem to remember Luke switching lab partners behind your back so he could sit next to her.”

Beth’s eyes narrowed. “Dick.”

“Focus for me. Echo? Not your pathetic lives.” Like an old married couple, the two of them enjoyed bickering. Isaiah and Beth were a year behind me, but the age difference never bothered us.

Beth sat up on the mattress. She loved to dish dirt. “So Echo’s sophomore year, she’s the star of the school, right? She’s on the dance team, advanced classes, honor roll, art guru, Miss Popularity, and she’s got Luke Manning feeling her up between classes. One month before school lets out—she disappears.” Beth’s eyes widened and she spread her fingers out like a magician doing a trick.

This was not where I thought this story would go. Isaiah watched my reaction and nodded. “Poof.”

“Gone,” added Beth.

“Vanished,” said Isaiah.

“Lost.”

“Evaporated.”

“Gone,” repeated Beth. Her eyes glazed over and she stared down at her toes.

“Beth,” I prodded.

She blinked. “What?”

“The story.” This was the problem with hanging out with stoners. “Echo. Continue.”

“Oh, yeah, so she disappeared,” said Beth.

“Poof,” added Isaiah.

Not this again. “I got it. Moving along.”

“She comes back junior year a completely different person— like Body Snatcher different. It’s still Echo, right? She’s got red curly hair and a rockin’ body,” said Beth.

Isaiah laughed. “You just called her body rocking.”

Beth threw a pillow at him before continuing, “But she’s not Miss Social anymore. Luke and her are history. He moved on to some other girl. Though the rumor is she broke up with him before her disappearance. She quits the dance team, stops entering art contests and barely talks to anyone. Not that I would have talked to anyone either, the way rumors flew around about her.”

“The gossip was brutal, man,” said Isaiah. Beth, Isaiah and I understood gossip. Foster kids and those from bad homes lay low for a reason.

“What did they say?” I had a sinking feeling where this conversation was headed and it didn’t sit well with me.

Beth wrapped her arms around her knees. “On the first day of our junior year she came back wearing a long-sleeve shirt and the same thing the day after that and on and on. It was ninety degrees for the first three weeks of school. What do you think people said?”

Isaiah made a circling motion with his finger. “Her little friends circled the wagons and kept her out of sight.”

“And she started meeting with the school counselor.” Beth paused. “You gotta feel bad for her.”

My eyes had been drifting closed, but Beth’s statement shocked them open. “What?” Beth lacked the sympathy gene.

She lay down on the bed, her eyes fluttering. “Obviously something fucked-up happened to her. Plus, her brother died a couple of months before she disappeared. They were super close. He was only three years older than her and took her to parties and stuff when he was in town. I used to hate her for having an older brother who cared.” Now Beth’s eyes shut completely.

Isaiah stood. “Roll over.”

Beth rolled against the wall. Isaiah grabbed a blanket off the floor and draped it over her. Our storyteller passed out.

Isaiah joined me on the couch. “Most people call Echo a cutter. Some said she tried to commit suicide.” He shook his head. “It’s all messed up, man.”

I was tempted to say I agreed and tell him what happened at the library, but I didn’t. “What happened to her brother?”

“Aires? He was a good guy. Cool to everyone. Joined the Marines out of high school and got himself blown to hell over in Afghanistan.”

Aires and Echo Emerson. Their mother must have hated them to give them names like that. Now I needed to find a way to make nice with the girl. She was my ticket to getting my brothers back.

Echo

I held Noah’s black leather jacket over my arm and headed toward my locker. The temptation to wear it overwhelmed me. I loved the way it smelled, how warm it made me feel and how it reminded me of our moment together outside Michael Blair’s house.

Get a grip, Echo. You’re not an idiot. I knew the gossip regarding Noah. He only attended parties to get high and browse the drunken female crowd for a one-night stand. If I’d gone off to get high with him, I would have been it. I wasn’t interested in a one-night stand, but it was nice to be considered. After all, since my sophomore year, no other guy at this school had showed an ounce of interest in me.

“What’s your problem? You look like a four-year-old who lost her balloon.” Lila joined me as I walked down the hall.

“I’m destined to die a virgin.” My own admission shocked me. Had those words left my mouth? I rubbed the smooth material of Noah’s jacket. Maybe I should have gone off with him. Not to get high, but to … well … not die a virgin.

Lila laughed so loudly several people gawked as we walked past. I lowered my head, let my curls hide my face and willed everyone to look away. We reached our lockers and I opened mine with the hopes of crawling inside.

“Hardly likely. But I thought you weren’t into hookups.” Lila rifled through her own locker, which was next to mine.

“I’m not. I held out with Luke because I wasn’t ready. I never imagined there would come a day when nobody would want me.”

I stared down at my gloved hands, causing seasickness to hit me on dry land. When the bell rang, I’d have to take them off. This wasn’t about sex. “No guy’s going to get close enough to ever love me.”

Lila closed her locker and bit her lip. “Your mom sucks.”

I inhaled deeply to keep from falling apart. “Yeah. I know.”

Her eyes narrowed on the jacket I still clutched. “What’s that?”

“Noah Hutchins’s jacket,” Natalie said, appearing out of nowhere and snatching it out of my hand. Her brown hair swung from side to side. “Follow me! Now!”

Lila’s eyes widened to the size of cantaloupes as we trailed Natalie into the restroom. “Why do you have Noah Hutchins’s jacket?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but Grace slammed the door to the bathroom shut. “We don’t have time for small talk. He’s coming.”

Natalie used one finger to push each stall door open to confirm we were alone. The place smelled of disinfectant and a sink dripped every couple of seconds.

“Stop it,” said Grace. “I already checked.”

Lila grabbed Grace’s hand. “Whoa. I need answers. Who’s coming? Why does Echo have Noah’s jacket and where did you get that sweater?”

“Luke. For Echo. You were so drunk at the party that you messed with the buddy system and now Echo has Noah’s jacket. She can’t be seen with it.” Grace jerked it out of Natalie’s hand. “We are getting Echo’s life back.”

I pried the jacket from Grace’s fingers. My friends had officially lost their minds. “It’s a jacket, not crack. He’s in my first period class. I’ll give it to him then. And who cares that Luke is looking for me?”

Grace pointed a red fingernail at me. “You held out. Luke asked you to dance at the party and instead of dancing with him we had to take Lila home. Now he’s looking for you to find out why you stood him up. This is the answer to all of our prayers.”

I clutched the jacket closer. “What? I mean, so? Luke and I are friends.” I guessed. He’d wished me a happy birthday. Friends do that.

Lila started her annoying bouncing dance. “So? Dancing with you at a party is way past friendship. It means he’s into you again.”

“Exactly,” said Grace. “If Luke’s into you then everyone else will be into you, too.”

Lila waved her hands in the air. “More importantly, you are not going to die a virgin.” She sucked in a dramatic breath. “Luke cannot see you with another guy’s jacket. Grace, take the jacket to your locker and we’ll figure out a plan later.”

Grace raised an eyebrow. “No way. I’m sure that thing reeks of drugs. What if they bring drug-sniffing dogs to school?”

“Oh, my God, you are worthless,” Lila said.

Tossing some of my curls over my shoulder, Grace straightened my shirt. “Go on, get out there before he misses you and heads to class.”

Lila and Natalie pulled me out the door and I clutched Noah’s jacket closer to me. “You guys are way overanalyzing this,” I said as Lila speed dialed the combination to my locker.

“He’s coming,” Natalie sang.

Lila plucked the jacket from my hands, threw it in my locker, pushed me out of the way and slammed it shut. She and Natalie leaned against my locker, adding a second layer of security.

“Hey, Echo.”

I turned and faced Luke. “Hey.” So much had happened in the past three minutes, my mind became a tilt-a-whirl.

Luke’s eyes flickered over Natalie and Lila. His eyebrows inched closer together. I remembered that look: he had something he wanted to say without an audience. But if Luke remembered nothing else about me, he’d recall I was a package deal.

“I waited for you,” he said.

“It’s my fault,” Lila blurted. “She didn’t have time to dance with you because I wanted to go home. I drank too much.”

Both Luke and I stared at her and then at each other. One Mississippi of awkward silence. Two Mississippi of awkward silence. Three Mississippi of awkward silence.

“Can I walk you to class, Echo?” he finally asked.

“Sure.” I glanced at Lila and Natalie over my shoulder as I accompanied Luke down the hallway. Both flashed quick thumbs-ups. I sucked in a deep breath and smiled when I noticed Luke grinning at me. Wow—normal. Maybe it really was possible.

That is, if normal meant hiding Noah Hutchins’s jacket in my locker … and pretending that I wasn’t thinking about how close he’d come to kissing me.

NOAH

“Hold this.” Mrs. Collins shoved a steaming to-go cup at me and went back to war with the school’s locked doors. We could barely see in the pale morning light, making it hard for her to find the right key on the overloaded chain. I considered giving her crap about her lack of organizational skills, but decided not to. It took some major balls to be alone with a punk like me.

The warmth of the coffee reminded me how cold it was outside. Goose bumps pricked my exposed arms. I owned one long-sleeved shirt and only wore that for my brothers. Being jacket-less sucked.

Her eyes settled on the tattoo on my biceps and her forever smile fell a centimeter. “Where’s your jacket, Noah? It’s cold.”

“I gave it to someone.”

A relieved sigh escaped her mouth when the third key she tried unlocked the door. She waved for me to go in. Instead, I held the door and nodded for her to go first. It would be my luck that a security guard would see me, shoot, then ask questions.

Our footsteps echoed down the empty hallway. Thanks to our school’s new green policy, the lights flashed on as we approached. It put me on edge. On top of the system that stalked my every movement, now the building did, too.

“Who did you give your jacket to?” Mrs. Collins entered the main office and unlocked her office door on the first try.

“A girl.” A girl who’d ignored me all day Monday and had yet to return said jacket.

“A girlfriend or a friend that’s a girl?”

“Neither.”

Mrs. Collins gave me the pity look then busied herself with her purse. “Do you need a coat?”

I hated the pity look. After my parents died, everyone I knew wore that look. Eyes slightly rounded. The ends of their mouths curved up slightly while their lips pulled down. The entire time they fought to look normal, but they only came across as uncomfortable.

“No. I’m getting it back today.”

“Good.” She flipped open my file. “How are your tutoring sessions with Echo?”

“We’re starting today.” Only Echo didn’t know that yet.

“Glorious.” She opened her mouth to ask another asinine question, but I had my own.

“What do you know about my brothers?”

She picked up a pen and tapped it against the desk, keeping time with the second hand on the clock. “Keesha and I had a chat regarding your visit this weekend. What happened to Tyler was an accident.”

What the hell? “You’re a school counselor. What are you doing talking to my social worker? And what are you doing talking to her about Tyler?”

“I already told you. I’m a clinical social worker, and I’m the guinea pig for the pilot program. My job isn’t to handle a part of you, but to handle all of you. That means I have access to your brothers. I’ll be communicating with their foster parents and sometimes I’ll be talking to Jacob and Tyler as well.

“As for where I fit in here at Eastwick, Mrs. Branch handles the typical guidance counselor issues and I handle …” She bobbed her head. “The more enlightening students. School fills your mind with knowledge, but we tend to ignore the emotional. I’m here to see what happens if we pay attention to both.”

Yay for me. Having Keesha up my ass was bad enough. Now I had Sally Sunshine in my business, too. I ran my hand over my face and shifted in my chair.

Mrs. Collins continued, “Keesha also told me that you’re threatening to petition for custody of your brothers after you graduate. If that’s true, Noah, you’ve got some major changes you need to make in your life. Are you willing to make them?”

“Excuse me?” Did she just challenge me to get my shit together so I could get my family back?

She put the pen down and leaned forward. “Are you willing to make the changes necessary to possibly care for your brothers after graduation?”