A Christmas Kiss With Her Ex-Army Doc / Second Chance With The Surgeon

“We’ve all had the flu shot, obviously, but we’ll be careful.”

Wow, Clancy had said “we” as if expecting her to go with him to see Ava. And of course she wanted to. Even if seeing the relief in his eyes had just about done her in. How hard would it be to see Clancy’s niece, knowing that his family was growing, while she was alone?

In five years of marriage, Jacob had continually put off having children, at first saying they had plenty of time. The last time, he’d said he wasn’t sure if he wanted children at all…with her.

Those words had hurt in a way that went beyond description. But he’d said he didn’t want a divorce, he wanted to work things out, even though she’d seen no evidence of that before his last deployment.

In the end, nothing had been settled between them. Had Jacob somehow known about her youthful crush on Clancy? No. Of course not. That had been over before they’d gotten married. And Hollee never would have cheated on him. Not even with Clancy. Her infatuation had been just the foolish stuff of youth.

She was over it now. And she’d donned her anti-Clancy armor as soon as she’d seen him again. She was well protected and ready for anything.

At least, she hoped she was. Especially if he ended up going on the relief trip. The last thing she needed to do was dig up that old crush and start mooning over the man again. Especially if he still played the field, like he had when they’d been younger. If that was the case, and he tempted her to share more than a simple kiss, she would be setting herself up for a whole lot of hurt. And this time there would be no one there to catch her when she fell.

CHAPTER THREE

CLANCY PUT HIS gloved hand through the opening of the incubator and touched Jennifer Jay de Oliveira’s tiny hand, marveling at the sweet face. The Jay stood for Jacob, a nod to their friend. That rankled. When he got the chance he was going to advise Ava to choose something else. But he didn’t want to do that in front of Hollee.

He didn’t want to hurt her if he didn’t have to. If that meant taking his old friend’s secret to the grave and letting her continue to think Clancy had been a jerk back then, so be it. If he hadn’t been such a kid at the time, he might have sat back and thought for a while before letting his friend’s veiled hints and his own insecurities convince him that he was not what Hollee—who was valedictorian of her class—needed. What she deserved. But at the time he’d thought Jacob was right.

Clancy had coasted along for most of high school, wandering aimlessly, drifting from one pretty girl to another. His friends had been the one constant in his life. Until he’d kissed Hollee and found it mattered more than he had expected it to. And then even that friendship had been destroyed. Thanks to his own stupidity.

His life had changed when he’d joined the military and had seen the need for medical personnel. It was like he’d found his purpose in life.

“She’s so beautiful.” The low voice of the person he’d just been ruminating about slid past his ear, making his insides tighten.

“Yes, she is.” He’d invited her here. He wasn’t sure why, except that Ava and Hollee were close friends, their friendship bound so tightly together that they’d weathered all the ups and downs of childhood. Not so with his and Hollee’s friendship. He’d made a choice he’d never dreamed he’d regret.

But he did regret it, even though Hollee had been happy with Jacob, and since she’d never learned the truth, she continued to believe her marriage had been perfect.

Clancy had done his damnedest to stay busy, dating lots of women. He hadn’t wanted Jacob or Hollee to guess the battle going on inside him, so he’d played up the freewheeling commitment-phobe aspect of his personality.

Maybe there’d been more to the act than he realized, since he was still single and had no desire to change that fact.

“At least Ava is okay, even though she can’t see Jennifer yet.”

They’d come to see the baby first to avoid any possibility that they’d pass something from mom to newborn. As it was, Ava wouldn’t be able to see her baby for four or five days, until the period of contagion was over. It was for the baby’s safety mostly, but Ava had been through an ordeal on top of being sick. She needed rest, and her body needed time to heal. She could still provide nourishment for the infant, since the flu virus didn’t pass into breast milk. She couldn’t feed her directly, but she could pump and have it sent to the NICU.

He turned and glanced at Hollee, noticing that she had a faraway look in her eye. She and Jacob had never had kids. Was she regretting that? He hadn’t talked to his friend enough after his engagement to know if there was a reason, other than a choice he and Hollee had made. Maybe they couldn’t have kids. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to be tied down by them.

That would explain a lot, actually, knowing what he did about Jacob.

“Better to wait and be sure than to endanger the baby out of impatience.”

He’d have done well to heed that advice himself.

“Yes, I agree.”

“Do you want to touch her?” he asked.

“Oh…um, I’m good. You take all the time you need.”

A shakiness to her voice made him pause. “You don’t like cuddling babies?”

“I do. My mom is watching mine.”

Shock made him turn around, his hands sliding out of the incubator’s access ports. “Excuse me?” She had a child? He’d assumed…

“Well, maybe I should amend that. My ‘baby’ has four legs and is covered with fur.”

He went slack with a relief that took him by surprise. “A dog?”

“A German shepherd named Tommie.”

“I actually have a dog too. Only he’s a basset hound mix.”

She laughed. “I love bassets.”

“He’s quite a character. Mom comes over to let him out during the day. She’s coming up to see Ava and the baby in a little while.”

“I’d love to meet your dog sometime.”

A sliver of surprise went through him. She’d barely said twenty words since they’d come into the NICU area, and the change from then until now was dramatic. Her eyes were bright green and a smile revealed a peek-a-boo dimple at the corner of her mouth that he’d almost forgotten existed. It fascinated him as much now as it had when they had been teenagers. It was what had drawn his gaze repeatedly to her mouth after that kiss on the cheek, and the very thing that had instigated the very real kiss at her house later that night.

Dragging his gaze away, he focused on her eyes instead. “We’ll have to get them together for a walk, although I have to warn you that Gordy doesn’t always match his soulful brown eyes. Sometimes he can be a grump.”

“That’s okay. Tommie has enough cheer for five dogs.”

What the hell was he doing? They were not two single parents planning play dates. Seeing her outside the hospital was not a good idea. But since they might be spending two weeks together in the near future, this might be a good opportunity to ease their way into things. It wasn’t like they were going on an actual date. Just walking their dogs together.

“I guess we’ll see. It looks like Ava and the baby will be okay, and if that’s the case I’ll probably go down to the Appalachian area with everyone else. What are you doing with your dog while you’re gone?”

“The same as what you’re doing while you’re at work. My mom will come over and take care of her. She’ll probably stay at the house with her, actually. She has a soft spot for Tommie. It almost makes me jealous at times.”

He stiffened. That had been exactly what had gotten him into trouble with Hollee. He’d had a soft spot for her that had morphed into something else entirely. And, hell, if he hadn’t been a jealous bastard the day of her wedding, even though he’d been a continent away. He’d drunk himself into oblivion just to keep from calling Jacob and saying he’d changed his mind. That the union no longer had his blessing.

Knowing what he did now, maybe it would have been better if he had. But hindsight was twenty-twenty, and there was nothing he could do about any of it now.

“My mom likes Gordy as well. He kept her company after I was deployed. She said it eased her loneliness while I was gone.” Gordy had to be pushing seven now, although Clancy didn’t know his exact age. And he was glad he could spend the dog’s remaining years with him. Staying away had been the easier choice, but he truly believed that coming home was now the right one.

Hollee turned away, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Are you ready to see Ava?”

Damn. Had his mention of his mom’s loneliness reminded her of her own loss?

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

She turned back. “I do. She’s my friend, although I should have been checking on her more. It’s time I made amends for that.”

Maybe it was time he made amends too for the way he’d behaved. He might have been trying to do the right thing but had ended up hurting her, according to what Ava had said all those years ago. His sister had not been happy with him. But that was okay. He hadn’t been happy with himself.

He moved closer and tipped her chin up. “About what I said all those years ago—”

“Don’t. Please.” Her whispered words shook.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Shimmering green eyes looked into his, and she opened her mouth as if to say something before shaking her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. We were both kids.”

Yes, they had been. He paused, then decided to ask a pivotal question. “Are we good?”

“Of course.” Her chin went up, and she pulled away. “Shall we go?”

Once outside his sister’s room, which was no longer in the maternity ward for the safety of the other new mothers, they donned surgical caps and gloves once again. Ava was sitting up in bed, a pillow pressed over her stomach, probably to ease the pain of the incision. She looked pale and drawn, but she smiled when she saw them. “Did you get to see her?”

“We did. She’s beautiful.”

“I didn’t get to hold her. Or even get a good look at her.”

Hollee smiled. “Well it’s a good thing I snapped a couple of pictures then, isn’t it?”

“You did?”

Ava said what he’d just thought. He hadn’t noticed her taking pictures.

“Of course.” She took her phone out of one of her pockets and punched a few buttons and then held it for Ava to see.

“Holy Moly! I did that?”

“You did indeed, honey.” Hollee started to touch her, before thinking better of it.

Ava looked up at him. “Being an uncle suits you. You should see your face.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come look.”

He wasn’t sure he wanted to, but to say no was bound to make both of them wonder why. So he went around to the other side of Holly and glanced at the images as she scrolled through them.

Hell. He looked like he was in love. Well, that’s because he was. That tiny creature was his niece. It was normal to have a goofy grin on his face.

“Too bad you caught my bad side.”

Their heads both came up at the same time. Ava spoke first. “Don’t say that. You look fine, doesn’t he, Hollee?”

He’d meant it as a joke, but evidently it fell flat. And he certainly didn’t want Hollee to feel trapped into making some banal comment about his scar. Again. So he held up his hands to show capitulation. “Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t say it again.”

It did seem kind of incongruous that a plastic surgeon wouldn’t have his own scars fixed or resurfaced. It would be easy enough to make them fade further into the background. But the reconstructions Clancy did were things that resulted from injuries or congenital conditions and he wanted his patients to love themselves, even if their after-surgery results weren’t that of an airbrushed model. Not that he was the greatest example of loving himself either. Jacob had given him a pointed reminder of that a few days after he’d kissed Hollee.

I’m not like you, Mr. Bigshot. I’m a one-woman kind of guy, and between you and me, I’m crazy about Hollee, so don’t go getting any ideas about adding her to your collection.

He’d never looked at himself that way, but evidently it was how Jacob—and maybe lots of other people—had seen him. It had been enough to make him pull back and put a stop to things with Hollee before he’d got in any deeper and ended up hurting her.

According to Ava, though, he’d ended up hurting her anyway. But, as he’d seen for himself, she’d recovered, and Jacob had gotten his wish.

Ava bent her head to the side, cracking her cervical joints. “They tell me that Jen-Jen is doing well.”

Despite her illness, her personality refused to be squashed. She’d always been a firebrand, but Clancy had been fiercely protective of her when they had been kids, even though she would have clobbered him if she’d known.

“Jen-Jen? Is that really what you’re going to call her?”

“How about Jenny J.? Or J.J.? No?” There was a happiness in her grin that he hadn’t seen in a while, despite the evidence of exhaustion in her face. Now wasn’t the time to approach her about her new daughter’s middle name. But he would have to make a point to tell her. And soon.

“I personally like Jen-Jen.”

“Hmm…” Her smile faded. “It’s still so sad when I think of Jacob as being gone forever.”

Hollee tucked her phone away, her head down, not looking at either of them.

“Yes, it is.” He shifted and decided to change the subject. “Any idea when the baby can come home?”

“She needs to gain some weight obviously, but her lungs are strong. I heard her cry before they rushed her away.” She shut her eyes and then looked at him. “I have to tell you it was the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in my life.”

“I can imagine. When we saw her, she seemed…content.” In fact, he’d been a little worried about how quiet she was, but Ava’s words made him feel better.

“She really is beautiful.” Hollee smiled, but this time it seemed a little forced.

It had to be hard hearing people talk about her late husband. Which was another reason he wanted to talk to Ava about the name, although he wasn’t sure why it mattered. It mattered to him, though. Jacob had betrayed Hollee in the worst possible way. A one-woman man? It seemed that had been a lie. The last thing he wanted was for his niece to bear the man’s name.

He took hold of one of his sister’s toes through the blanket and gave it a wiggle. “We’d better let you get some rest, but I’ll come see you tomorrow.” He was careful not to include Hollee in that. She could set up her own visitation schedule.

“And since I worked the night shift, I’d probably better go home and try to get some rest,” she said.

“Will you come back tomorrow too?”

“If you want me to.”

Ava nodded. “Of course I do. And about what I said earlier, when I was in the delivery room…” Her glance shot to him before moving back to Hollee. “I was just scared and wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Whatever it was, it couldn’t have been too important, because I can’t even remember you saying anything.”

“Good.” She lay back against her pillows, eyes closed.

“Do you need anything?” Hollee asked. “Water? Something to eat?”

“I’m just incredibly sleepy right now.”

“We’ll get out of your hair, then.” This time Hollee did touch her arm. Probably because she’d put her phone away and was about to shed her gloves. “Get some shut-eye now, because you’ll soon be taking care of that precious little girl.”

They left the room, and he couldn’t help but ask, “What did she say that she was so upset about?”

“She wasn’t quite coherent because of the fever. And since she doesn’t want me to remember, it’s probably just as well, don’t you think?”

“I guess so. Well, I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Yep. I’m off to dreamland.”

By herself. At least he assumed she would be. The thought stopped him. Maybe that’s why she seemed so uncomfortable whenever any reference to Jacob was made. She hadn’t remarried or she’d have a ring on. Or maybe not, since jewelry could harbor germs, or hold them against the skin, in the case of a ring.

He watched her walk away, realizing he had more questions than when he’d started working at the hospital. And despite the fact that it shouldn’t bother him, he was finding that it did. Very much. He wasn’t sure how to unravel that. Or if he should even try. The only thing he could do was avoid her as much as he could—until they boarded their bus and drove off into the sunset together. Along with about twenty other people and a whole lot of medical gear.

Ugh! Hollee could not believe it. She and Clancy had joked about giving their dogs a play date and a week later she spotted him at the dog park at exactly the same time as her! Fortunately, he was some distance away and hadn’t seen her yet. He was talking to some woman who was standing way too close, her Afghan hound looking tall and elegant, much like her owner, who was almost as tall as Clancy. And the way the woman looked at him, laughing at something he said…

A sick feeling rolled around the pit of Hollee’s stomach as memories of the past flooded back. She guessed some things never changed. The nurses would probably also be fawning all over him soon enough.

Jacob had once joked that she’d dodged a bullet by being able to see through Clancy. Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the case. But there’d been no way she would have admitted that to her husband.

Could she bear watching him make the rounds at the hospital in a way that had nothing to do with patients?

She should just turn back around and head toward her car, but when she tried to tug Tommie in that direction, her dog planted her feet, head whipping around as if to say, What is this, human? A trick?

“No trick, sweet girl. Just a big old dose of self-preservation.”

Okay, if she couldn’t retreat, she could simply head toward an obscure corner of the park and wait there until he left. Surely she could keep Tommie occupied until then. She had a ball thrower and a tote bag that held an old soft quilt that her grandmother had made. She could just sit on the grass, ignoring Clancy and enjoying the day with no one being any the wiser. Except Clancy took out his phone and put it up to his ear, giving the woman with him an apologetic shrug, and the woman handed him something before heading on her way.

The sick feeling turned into something big and ugly. She would bet there was a phone number on that slip of paper.

Suddenly Gordy—wasn’t that his name?—jerked to the right. Clancy, who wasn’t expecting that or else was distracted by his call or the woman or both, careened sideways, landing right on his lean behind.

And it was lean. Just as lean as it had been ten years ago. Because, shamefully, she’d just looked.

Gordy broke free just as the woman and her fancy dog came back over and offered a hand to Clancy. Surprisingly, he didn’t accept it, just hefted himself back up, but it was too late to catch Gordy, who was moving across the grass, his pudgy little legs moving like pistons. Behind him trailed his leash.

“Damn.” The dog was headed in her direction!

About that time Clancy’s gaze met hers and he cocked his head, bending over to retrieve his phone and the paper. He then started moving…fast, giving his new friend a quick wave as he left her behind. Within ten strides he’d caught up with his dog, snagging his leash and putting a stop to his flight, such as it was.

She realized, despite what she’d just witnessed, she was grinning like a loon. Because of Gordy, she told herself. Not because the incident had foiled the woman’s attempt to hold Clancy’s attention.

He made his way toward them, not saying anything as he let his dog sniff Tommie. Thankfully her dog was as friendly as his seemed to be. “Looks like they hit it off,” he said. “I didn’t realize you came to this park.”

To his credit, he didn’t look behind him to see what had happened to the woman he’d been talking to. It looked like she’d given up, since she was now walking in the opposite direction.

“I do.” She was pretty sure that wasn’t something to be celebrated. “Is this the park closest to you?”

Unfortunately that came out sounding like an accusation, when she hadn’t really meant it to.

If he heard it, though, he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, one corner of his mouth tilted up. “Yes, actually it is. I’ve been here a couple of times.”

That made her smile fade. Had he already met up with the same woman on other occasions?

She decided to hit neutral and change the direction of her thoughts. “How are Ava and the baby doing? Has she decided what to call her?”

Hollee was off today, and when she’d checked in on them yesterday, the pair had been doing well, with Ava finally being allowed to see her baby.

“Nope. So far J.J. and Jen-Jen are her favorites.” Clancy suddenly frowned and looked closely at something. “Is your dog’s eye okay? She’s squinting.”

Glancing down to check, she shook her head. “She’s actually missing that eye. Glaucoma,” she added.

“I thought glaucoma was treatable. She had the eye removed?”

“It manifests differently in dogs. She’d had it for a while before her former owners had it checked. It was too late to save her vision and was causing considerable pain. She’s adjusted quite well.” She reached down to ruffle Tommie’s fur. “We’re hoping to retain the sight in her other eye as long as possible.”

She hesitated, the tote on her shoulder starting to get heavy. “I brought a blanket—do you want to sit with us for a while?”

There was a noticeable pause on his part, then he lifted one shoulder, whether in irritation or a shrug, she wasn’t sure. “We don’t want to impose.”

The words made her heart ache. Maybe he wanted to go back and find that woman.

Okay, she needed to answer this carefully. “I noticed you were talking to someone. I’ll understand if you have other plans.”

“Nope. No plans at all. Anyway, I think our dogs are enjoying each other’s company.”

A huge rush of relief washed through her, although it was ridiculous. He might not want to go find Ms. Afghan Hound right this minute, but he could always call her later. Or someone else would come along. She could pretty much depend on that.

That was okay, though, because Hollee wasn’t interested in him like that. Not anymore, so there was no reason to sit here dwelling on it.

Why not just enjoy his company and not worry about the other stuff?

“I think so too. We can go over to one of the quieter areas, so they can stay out of everyone’s way, if that’s okay.”

“Yes. Thanks. Gordy and I didn’t think to bring anything to sit on.”

More likely, he didn’t feel the need to sit down, but since her legs had been feeling a little shaky ever since she’d spotted him, she’d better do something about it quickly.

That scar on his face drew her attention time and time again. He had to know she was staring at it. But it wasn’t out of pity. She was fascinated by the changes that had taken place in him since the time she’d known him. Ten years had layered his face with a cynicism that hadn’t been there before, the scars just adding to that feeling. It also added to that air of danger he’d carried with him back then. She’d used to fantasize about riding on that motorcycle of his, and she’d finally gotten her chance when he’d given her a lift home the night of the kiss. She’d been pressed tight to his back, her arms wrapped around his waist, and… God… He’d been lethal to her senses back then, and it seemed he still was. So much so that she’d done her best to avoid him in the days since little Jennifer’s birth.

The man was gorgeous. And seeing him interacting with his sister’s baby—the sheer devotion on his face—had opened a compartment in her brain that she’d thought was forever nailed shut. Why had he kissed her if he’d had no intention of asking her out on a date? Had he found her somehow inferior to the other girls he’d gone out with?