Easy Way to Get And Stay Slim. Mindset For Weight Loss

– She goes home.

– I wish she did. But she goes to a store at first.

– And she leaves it with numerous packets.

– Of course, she has bags full of food. Now imagine that a woman has more than one “bottle” on her shoulders. What if she has two bottles weighing forty pounds each?

She comes home. Her hands are full, so she opens the door with her forehead somehow. Ups, the family is already there waiting for her.

– ☺

– …screaming: “We are hungry!” She goes to the kitchen, bakes, boils, steams foods, helps children with homework. Then, late at night, Zina makes love with her husband. With this bottle on her shoulders. Then she goes to bed. She sleeps, and her body is getting bigger and bigger. In your opinion, what does Zina have to do to lose excess weight?

– She has to put away this load!

– The most important question is if she needs the willpower to get things done.

– Of course.

– She certainly needs the willpower to hold this heavy bottle all day long.

You can’t imagine how much strength and will I need to hold this forty-pound bottle on my shoulders for such a long time while standing in front of you and telling the story!

Finally, I feel something… What do I need to get rid of it?

– Motivation.

– Desire.

– Desire! Oh yeah, I’ve got a strong desire already!

So, I do this – pow! I throw it off!

As long as you have a strong desire, there is no need for willpower. Everything you need is “know-how” and a strong desire!

Yay! Diet starts on monday!

– So, Zina decides that a revolution is coming, since elites can’t, and people don’t want to.

“I don’t want to hold this bottle on my shoulders anymore! I have to work off the excess weight!”

The easiest way is to go on a diet. Zina downloads from the Internet another diet. As a rule, it says that it’s the best way to drop excess weight, totally proven and reliable. Zina decides to try it. How does she usually go on a diet? The schedule is like that: a few days on a diet, then some yummy treats, another day on a diet, and then another “rest”. When do you usually start a new diet?

– On Monday!

– Why on Monday?

– Because the weekend is over. During the weekend, there are always guests, cooking, foods, yummy treats…

– Two days of food paradise. On Saturday and on Sunday we meet up with friends, throw a party. Food-farewell ceremony! On Sunday, in the evening, Zina washes the dishes, eats up leftovers, and goes to bed. Then she wakes up on Monday morning. What does she feel?

– It’s so hard to get up.

– What does she feel during the first four hours?

– She’s hungry.

– Imagine these first hours of a diet. Your mood?

– Low.

– The low mood will come a bit later. But at first, in the beginning, you feel…

– Inspired!

– Yes! It’s over, “slim” life is so close! Soon I’ll become a fantastic slim beauty!

Zina is excited, inspired. Will she eat her breakfast?

– No, of course not.

– Precisely. What for? Breakfast? A cup of coffee at the most, and then she runs to work. Zina came to work, and then she faces the first enticement.

– Her colleagues are having tea.

– Coffee.

– Exactly. Everybody drinks tea! It’s Monday morning.

– Chocolates.

– Yes. Besides, everyone brought some yummy things from home. They all sit at the table. Zina is an active, outgoing, and fun-loving person. They say: “Hi, Zina! You should join us. Come on!” But she has a new life now! What will she say?

– OK, give me something yummy! ☺

– No, she is a strong-willed person. Do you remember about the heavy forty-pound bottle on her shoulders? Certainly, Zina can be far too reckless and tell her colleagues: “I am on a diet.” She’ll make a mysterious face and says: “I am on a diet. I am not like you anymore!” What response will she get?

– Everyone will pay attention to her. They will tempt poor Zina with yummy things.

– “You can start your diet tomorrow. Here, get some tea!”

– And it repeats again and again, every day when she comes to work. Once Zina comes to the office. Her colleagues are eating some desserts again: “Yum! Oh, so sorry for you, you can’t try it. You are our slim girl! Just mind your own business and stay away from our desserts”.

– ☺

– Of course, she will give up in a while. Let’s assume that Zina understands it very well. “I should better keep my diet in secret. I’ll tell them…” What? What can we say in such a case?

– I’ve just eaten.

– “I’ve just eaten… I had a tough weekend. You have no idea how hard it was! I feel sick. My stomach hurts. I guess I’ve got food poisoning!”

So, she got off the hook. Zina is fine until lunchtime. What does she feel then?

– Hunger.

– Hunger. She is so hungry that it’s impossible to ignore it. Thus, the woman makes a decision: “OK, I go to the canteen.”

– I’ll eat some low-calorie dishes.

– Yes. All the other people will have soup, a main course, salad, dessert as usual. As for me, I’ll have a vegetable salad and a drink. What can you drink when losing weight?

– Some water, for example.

– Green tea.

– Think again. What helps to lose weight?

– Coffee.

– Purgative.

– What goes well with fresh salad leaves?

– Salad oil.

– What can you find in any canteen? Drink.

– May be yogurt?

– Precisely! Zina ate herbs and covered it with some yogurt.

– ☺

– Then, while everyone returns to the office, she runs straight to the ‘throne room’. She spends a lot of time there, getting slimmer and slimmer.

– ☺

– Zina thinks: “Well, I guess everything is going fine.” Five minutes – normal flight, ten minutes – normal flight. OK, she’s done. It was a hard day in the office. She needs some encouragement. Zina sees a large mirror in the toilet room. She comes closer and checks for some signs of a weight loss.

– ☺

– Yeah, her cheeks are getting smaller. Ass looks firm. You can easily convince yourself of anything if you need some support!

Then Zina returns to work. So, in the evening she is super-hungry!

Zina goes to a store. She has no choice. Her hungry children, hungry husband, and hungry cat are waiting for her at home. So, of course, Zina goes to a store. What does she do because of her hunger?

– She buys everything she sees!

– She eats everything!

– Have you ever seen snowplow? A huge shovel sweeping snow. She is just like this snowplow, sweeping all foods from shelves! Of course, she ignores a small basket. She takes a huge cart and fills it with food. It’s not for her. It’s for them! For her hungry family!

– ☺

– On the small shelf in the cart, where people use to seat a child, Zina puts low-calorie sugar-free yogurt, laminaria, some crisp-breads marked as… Any ideas, Lena?

– “Dietetic”.

– Yes. Or maybe “Fitness”. “Healthy”.

– Yes.

– Really? Eat crisp-breads and lose weight. What else will she choose? Perhaps, some tropical fruits?

– Pineapples.

– Pineapples? Why, Nadezhda?

– They are burning fat.

– Of course, everyone knows that pineapples contain bromelain. Do you know what part of pineapple contains bromelain?

– Yes, pineapple peels.

– There are scales on the peel and small buds on the ends of the scales.

– ☺

– Yeah, they contain bromelain. To get at least one therapeutic dose of bromelain, you have to cut buds from twenty-five pineapples. If you see nibbled pineapples in a supermarket, perhaps Zina was there.

– ☺

– Finally, she is almost at home with all these packets, heads to the fourth floor to her apartment. She stands by the door, breathing hard. Zina doesn’t really want to get inside. As soon as she entered, all the family members run straight to her and ask: “Where were you?” Even the hungry cat is looking at her with reproachful eyes. Zina drops her bags and runs to the kitchen – to cook dinner! She slices cucumbers for salad. Zina cuts off both ends of the cucumber and puts them into her mouth.

– ☺

– Then she slices tomatoes, sausages.

– And takes a few bites.

– It’s hard to slice sausages nicely. Many slices get crooked.

– ☺

– It’s not good to put imperfect slices on the plate for family dinner. Put it into mouth! Can we feed our hunger by eating a few pieces?

– No!

– Certainly not! Finally, Zina laid the table. She fried hamburgers, potatoes, made salads. She called her husband, children. Even the cat got some yummy pieces. What about Zina? She’s got a peeled carrot and sugar-free yogurt. If it worked out in the daytime, then it should help her to feel satiety again!

Now, let’s do out fairy-tale a bit cruel. Her husband is skinny. And children are just like their Daddy!

– ☺

– So, they all come to the kitchen, sit around the table, and say: “I want more potatoes! And another hamburger, please!” And then they cover their foods with mayonnaise. Children ask: “Do we have some ice-cream for dessert?” Zina looks at this feast, thinking: “Oh my God…”

The woman is so hungry that she is about to faint. The others sit at the table, eating. They are chewing so hard that their ears are moving!

What should she do?

Zina goes to the living room, turns on the TV, and watches series. Johanna, Peter, episode three hundred thirty-five. They meet in some restaurant for a romantic dinner! Orange juice, a slice of cheesecake. Food is everywhere!

Zina is watching series dreaming about the time when she becomes slim and beautiful, just like Johanna. At this moment, her husband enters the room. He sits down by her side. Even though he hasn’t brought any food with him, he smells like fried steak. The women’s sense of smell is significantly sharper than men’s! Her husband says: “Zina, give me the TV remote I want to watch…” What?

– Football!

– Of course. Or hockey championship, or something…

“Are you watching the movie? Who cares? Anyway, you have some chores to do. Give me the TV remote and go to your favorite room to wash dishes!” Sad Zina goes to the kitchen. What does she see there?

– Leftovers on plates!

– Of course! There should be at least half of hamburger on one plate, left to its fate. And some potatoes. Zina thinks of… Well, actually, she doesn’t think at all at this moment!

She just sees food.

What if it is not the first day of her diet? What if it is the twentieth day? No thoughts, only instincts. She hasn’t made any decision yet. Zina closes the door, turns on water. She has come here to wash the dishes.

– ☺

Just one last piece!

– Nobody sees or hears what she is doing. Zina sits down in front of the hamburger and looks at it. The hamburger looks back at her. Nietzsche wrote: “And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.”

So, the “abyss” is gazing into Zina. What is she thinking about at this moment?

– I’ll eat only half of the hamburger. It won’t change anything.

– Exactly!

Everybody knows: half of a hamburger can’t ruin your life.

She thinks: “No, I shouldn’t do it.”

Zina has so-called withdrawal syndrome. She takes half of the hamburger and thinks: “I’ll finish this piece – and stop eating.”

– Then she takes another hamburger, and then the third one…

– Wait a little, of course, it will happen, but a little later! ☺

Zina starts chewing hamburger and… How does it taste?

– Amazing…

– It is magnificent! Zina got a blackout. She is totally out of order. Now all her thoughts are about…

– Potato.

– Why about potato? Zina is like a vampire, who has tasted the blood and then attacks anyone to get more… ☺ She tried the hamburger, and now her mind moves to the plate or to the pot with eight hamburgers! “Oh my… I cooked them by myself! Maybe…”

Zina grabs another hamburger, thinking: “It is the last one!” She stuffs it into her mouth (as if someone rushes into the room in a minute and takes away all hamburgers) and starts to chew it ravenously!

At this moment, she has a blackout. Her mind shuts off.

As participants of our sessions say, Zina meets Mr. Eating Frenzy! Of course, together they could eat all eight hamburgers! ☺ If eight hamburgers are too much for her, then, when devouring the sixth hamburger and feeling it getting caught in her throat, Zina starts to curse herself.

– Silly idiot.

– Yes, I believe you! I think you are honest. You speak from your heart! What else did you say?

– Why have I eaten so much?

– You sound too intelligent: “Why have I eaten so much?”

Imagine a forty-year-old person who has just devoured eight hamburgers. She is alone in the kitchen. She has just ruined his diet. No doubt, the woman would use some bad words. One of participants from another group assumed: “Well, she said to herself: “Oh, what a spineless piggy I am!”

– Do you believe it? Do you think Zina would say this?

– Dummy, idiot!

– What other names would she call herself in such a case? Perhaps some domestic animals?

– Pig!

– Pig. Yes, it’s possible. Maybe some horned animal then?

– Cow.

– Cow!

– ☺

– All the other words she uses should be bleeped…

– ☺

– …cause I’m sure she kicked herself to the fullest. What does she feel? What emotions is she experiencing?

– She feels guilty.

– Precisely. Of course, she feels guilty. Is she hurt?

– She suffered for so long…

– Moment of weakness – and she ruined everything. ☺

– Yes! Is she angry?

– Yes.

– So, what does she feel finally?

– She feels sorry for herself.

– Of course. Self-pity. Zina knows how to comfort herself. Some sweets will help a lot! No, Galina, hamburger won’t work in this case. It’s hard to comfort yourself with a hamburger.

– ☺

– She raises her hand like this… and throws it down!

– Fine!

– Screw it!

– Life is ruined, all labor is for nothing. Everything is rotten. Zina opens fridge, buffet… As you remember, she bought lots of food recently, so her food reserves are huge! Zina eats one treat after another, comforting herself, searching for relief from negative emotions. Actually, she was going to eat some sweets.

– ☺

– Instead, she ate up… Much more than she planned. Reflexively. Sweets and chocolates jump into her mouth one after another! Zina opens her mouth, and they jump into it – hop-hop! The next moment she sits in her chair, cursing herself: “How could you…” She calls herself bad names: “Idiot, pig, cow, dummy…” She is angry and offended. And she blames herself again! It’s late evening, almost night. Her family is sleeping, and Zina is “washing dishes” in her “favorite” room.

– ☺

– Then she can’t eat anymore. Her stomach is full. Of course, she decides that…

– Again.

– It’s time to lose weight. ☺

– It’s time to lose weight.

– ☺

– Zina goes to her bedroom, thinking that all she needs for success is another diet, cause this one was “improper”. Besides, she feels guilty. She failed the diet! Zina blames herself. Therefore, she has to wash the guilt away. With blood or something! Zina feels that she has to be punished! She has to do something.

Do you have any ideas? What can wash the guilt away? What should she get?

– Punishment!

– Hunger!

– Yes, as an option!

Hunger. Long-time starvation, perhaps, even without drinking water. Dry starving, as they call it. I can’t believe that some people keep a diet without drinking any water.

Jogging!

“Well, what else can I do to myself?” Enema!

“Acupuncture, and forced vomiting, then I’ll join an equestrian club as a horse. Oh, I’ll make myself lose weight at any price!”

– Do you think we can help her?

– Yes, we can.

– Sketch the following diagram, please.

This is a classic pattern of an eating disorder.

It is very simple, but millions of people on the Earth follow it day by day, month by month, year by year. There are two circles in this diagram. The large circle is for physiological aspects, and the small circle is for psychological aspects.

Where should we start to help Zina?

– She needs desire.

– Right. She needs desire.

– Take away Hunger.

– Eugenia, you are right.

N.B.! Hunger is forbidden! We have to eat four-six times a day. Regular balanced meals.

Would we meet Mr. Eating-Frenzy in that case?

– No.

– Of course not.

Over-eating is a pathologic state. Extreme emotional narrowed state of consciousness, extreme emotional disturbance, if it is proven, is considered to be a mitigating circumstance for any crime, even murder. As we see, Zina accumulates hunger impulses and brings herself to the state when she is not able to control herself anymore. She just can’t stop eating!

When people were taken out of besieged Leningrad, and, outside the siege ring, they finally got access to food, they were told: “You shouldn’t eat a lot right away. Eat a little bit today, then a little more tomorrow. Increase your food portion day by day, and then, probably, you will survive.” What did they do? Some people sneaked into the storerooms at night. They even broke locks, gorged with food and died from intestinal obstruction. It’s impossible to stop a person from over-eating even under penalty of death if he falls into the eating frenzy. If we feed our Hunger with tasty, hearty, and rational food regularly, we won’t face eating-frenzy.

Praise and discountenance

Should we do something about our habit of criticizing ourselves?

– It should be forbidden!

– Of course. More than that – I advise you to start praising yourself! You fed yourself – “Good job!” You’ve done something good for yourself, treat yourself well – “What a good girl (or a boy)!”

Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs This story about Zina came into my mind again. I had a good laugh and then started to think about it. When I heard this fact of life, it was a shock for me. Why? It’s a simple description of my typical behavior, my actions. But I’ve never understood or realized it before.

Just like most of us, I blamed and scolded myself, called myself an idiot. Of course, I still call myself an idiot sometimes, but in other life situations. Now I praise and indulge myself much more often, and I advise everyone to do the same. Moreover, I allow all the other people around to pay me compliments and enjoy them so much! Why not? I deserved it. I am smart, slim, and beautiful.

Group session of psychologist

Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:

– Many people do not have a habit of praising themselves. It’s really bad because then they start to kick and blame themselves. It makes everything even worse. Mood, self-esteem, well-being, and efficiency – all these factors are getting lower.

Words like “idiot,” “pig,” “cow,” “screwhead,” “ham-handed,” “you are terrible” – come from childhood. Then a person grows up, but there are hours and hours of “audio records” in his head, in his memory. Parents and teachers scolded us when we were kids. Then a person grows up and starts to scold himself just like his parents and teachers did before. He spoils his life with this endless scolding without even knowing it. There is an old Chinese saying: “Call yourself a pig for ten times, and you will grunt.”

What if you call yourself a superstar ten times?

– You’ll shine and twinkle!

– That’s why we have to praise ourselves!

Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs. As they say: “Say good things about yourself often. The source will be forgotten, but the information will stay”. The others will see your good, positive side too.

Group session of psychologist

Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:

– So, self-scolding is forbidden.

That’s why we praise ourselves. I’ll give you at least a few reasons. Please tell me what we improve by praising ourselves regularly.

– Mood.

– Fine. What else?

– Self-esteem.

– Of course. When we are in a good mood and appreciate ourselves, how will it affect our lives? What will be improved?

– Relationship!

– Yes! Besides, we become more productive, both at work and at the creative activity. Wherever you look, there are only advantages.

But it’s so hard to make people praise themselves. I have to force them to do it. Most people do not have this good habit.

Let’s write down our homework. Set aside one clean sheet for homework. It would help if you wrote down there all the homework. Now, write down your first task. Tomorrow morning you have to praise yourself at least five times until our meeting. You should especially praise yourself for self-nurturing. I fed myself regularly – well done, I took lunch to work – what a clever girl. I overslept and came late to work – it’s OK, at least I’ve got enough sleep. Well done!

– ☺

– The glass is half full, not half empty. A positive attitude is all we need!

Tomorrow I’ll ask whether you have praised yourself five times or not. A typical excuse I usually hear: “I don’t have time for it”. It’s irresponsible. Agree? How much time do you need to praise yourself? Five seconds. So, “no time” won’t work. I’ll ask you about praising tomorrow.

Recipe for success

Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist:

I noticed that when I ask people to praise themselves at least three times, the next day, many people say that they did it only once or twice. When I began to ask them to praise themselves at least fifteen times, everything changed. Now it seems to be so simple to say something kind to yourself five times.

There is a good saying. Unfortunately, I have no idea who said it, but I’d like to share it with you: “It is better to aim for the stars and hit the top of the mountain than to aim for the mountain and hit the dirt.”

Another thing: it’s very important to write down all the praises. Just thinking about them is not enough.

A well-known personal growth expert Barrett Brown researched how the most successful people develop their personality. He identified three patterns that are common to all of them.

First, they meditated. Some people did yoga, the others – qigong, some used awareness practice or daily practice of prayer, and so on.

Secondly, they all kept a diary. They made daily records of their achievements, insights, asked themselves questions, and answered them.

Thirdly, everyone had a coach, mentor, or friend with whom they discussed how they were moving towards the goal.

Despite being very busy, they found time to do it.

It just so happens that most people use to scold themselves. If I gave you the task to scold yourself five times, then (as I often heard) there would be no difficulty. And the scolding would sound sincere, with appropriate intonations. When a person praises himself, the tone is not always entirely sincere. It is usually playful, sometimes even cynical. It is known that intonation affects us much stronger than words. Therefore, while doing this exercise, try to praise yourself sincerely, even for very modest achievements.

I have seen many times that even such simple exercise helped people to improve self-esteem. And it is self-esteem that determines our well-being, how we treat others, and how we operate in life. This exercise can be made more complicated. To do this, you need a person who won’t let you “escape”.