Let off Steam, Kazakh-Style

Turseke, you knew Alexander and Konstantin Yerlikh well, who lived in our aul. In 1993, they returned to their historical homeland – Germany. Last year, their whole family came to our place on vacation. We all invited them to visit us. We talked about something (gaplyashtik). It seems that they are doing really good. Sasha is a mechanic at a factory, Kostya works as a chef in one of the greatest restaurants in Munich. They earn 2 to 3 thousand euro a month. They live happily, as they say, drink, eat whatever they want. Every summer, the whole family goes cruising on vacation. Beside Europe and Asia, they visited Africa and America. They even managed to go to the Papuans, if I’m not mistaken, their land is called New Guinea. But here I can’t even earn enough money to buy food or clothes. Therefore, when I quarrel with the residents of our aul, fans of humility, I want to move to Germany as well. However, why do they need a useless Kazakh tractor driver who stinks of diesel fuel and doesn’t know their language?

Dear friend, perhaps, you will not agree with my thought. You will probably say: “It’s better to be an insole in a boot in your native country than a sultan in a foreign land, Komeke. Give up your harmful opinion.” Because you used to be a patriot, when we were in school. But tell me please: how long should be an insole under the feet of such a scum as Nietali? I’m a human being too, after all.

Okay, I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll stop here. I wanted to pour out my heart, drank too much and talked too much. However, let go of my grief and sadness, and, as if the load fell off my shoulders, now I feel much better. Goodbye, my friend, goodbye. By the way, don’t forget to save me a place next to you. See you, my friend!..

Komekbay says goodbye to the tub, goes to the tor of the dastarkhan and kneels. Then, he picks up a two-hundred-gram faceted glass, slightly throws back, and begins to swallow a transparent liquid, gurgling. He drinks down the whole glass, takes a kurt from the dastarkhan, puts it in his mouth, gets up and takes a look around. Flashing stars and the moon start to show on the black velvet of the sky.

Komekbay. Pay-pay, look how smoothly the moon is flowing from this side. Assalamaleykum, full, bright moon!.. Are you healthy, my beautiful, my beloved one!.. Look, how shy she is, just like a sweet, innocent young girl!..

At this time, Rysty’s loud voice is heard. She climbs up the ladder to the roof of the barn. Her voice rattles and rumbles, breaks the evening silence. Komekbay is frightened by the sudden sound. He shudders, crouches, and looks back at the place where the voice comes from.

Rysty. Hey, if you’ve finished greeting the moon, get down. The police are looking for you. Oh god, indeed, one day, he will become a spack. I hope, he didn’t lose his mind. Get down! Right now!..

Komekbay. (He is scared). What do you mean? The police?

Rysty. The district police officer of this aul. The eldest son of our son-in-law, Sary.

Komekbay. What does he want from me?

Rysty. Nietali filed a complaint with the police over the incident that you attacked him verbally, swore, offended his parents. And this guy intends to take you to his office and conduct an investigation. Enough, get down faster!

Komekbay is pretty drunk and outraged. He hardly gets down the ladder. And there, in the yard, he stares at his wife, Rysty, and the police inspector standing nearby, in fear and astonishment, as if he saw some aliens.

Komekbay. (He is tongue-tied). Well…

District police officer. Now you come with me to the police department. We received a complaint about you.

Komekbay. A complaint?!. What complaint?

District police officer. You attacked Nietali Syzdykov verbally, and threatened him. Is it true?

Komekbay. Yes, it’s true: I attacked Syzdykov verbally and swore, so what? Is he a saint? Can’t swear at him? It just means that he deserves this.

District police officer. Let’s go to the police department, and you’ll write an explanatory report. We’ll specify other problems there.

Komekbay. I’m not going anywhere, and I won’t explain anything. And who the hell are you to tell me what to do?

District police officer. Well, in this case, I’ll have to use force to take you to the police department.

The district police officer grabs Komekbay by the elbow and pulls toward the gate.

Komekbay. Hey, what the hell are you doing, huh? Now I’ll show you what hazing is. Sucker!..

Rysty. Hey, shut up! If you insult the lawman, you’ll end up in jail!.. Shut your mouth!..

Komekbay (As he turns back). Who is the lawman? Is he the lawman? Well, then we’re screwed!..

Rysty. Go, go! Do what they say: write an explanatory report – just write it. Say that you got enraged and didn’t see it coming. Ask Nietali’s pardon. It won’t hurt you!....

Komekbay. Ask his pardon?… Nietali’s pardon? I’d rather die than ask his pardon! Why on earth should I ask his pardon?

In a while, Komekbay and the district police officer go outside, pushing each other. No one speaks a word in the yard. Rysty says nothing as well, while seeing off her husband and the policeman with a gloomy look.

Scene No. 5

The office of the police inspector. There are a desk, two or three chairs, a wardrobe, a huge steel safe in the corner, and an old cheap sofa in a large sparcely furnished room. The district police officer and Komekbay are sitting at the desk opposite each other.

District police officer. (He moves a pen and a sheet of paper closer to Komekbay). Well, tell me what happened. I’m listening to you.

Komekbay. What should I tell?

District police officer. Did you really swear at Nietali Syzdykov?

Komekbay. Yes! Yes, I did! I told you that.

District police officer. Then, I will describe your act in relation to Nietali Syzdykov on paper. Afterwards, you will confirm what will be written and sign the report.

Komekbay. And if I don’t sign it?

District police officer. Believe me, you’ll sign it!..

So… Explanatory report. I, Komekbay Kuanuly Zhanbyrbaev, a resident of the village of Kayrakty, born on August 25, 1969, on October 1, 2012, used insulting expressions and swore at the father of a state employee Nietali Kopbolsynov, the head of the limited liability partnership.

Komekbay. Well, it turns out, in your opinion, this scumbag Nietali is a state employee. Right? And then what are we? Garbage on the trash heap, or what? It turns out, in your opinion, corrupt officials are state people, and such meek poor people like us, who earn their daily bread by honest labor, are creatures having no rights. Right?! Am I right?!

District police officer. Don’t interrupt me! When I, the representative of the law enforcement body, do something, you mustn’t resist. So… then you went to a rural grocery store, bought a bottle of vodka, then you started looking for a companion for a drink, that is, a drinking buddy.

Komekbay. (He jumps to his feet) Hey, how do you know everything?

District police officer. (He raises his voice). Sit down!.. You are not at home, you are in the premises of the state institution for the protection of the law. So, where did we stop? Alright, you began to look for a drinking buddy. However, fellow villagers, Yermek Shynyrbaev, Alaydar Zhetesov, refused to be my drinking buddies. Then…

Komekbay. Oh, I got it! He’s been following me all day long. Now, I got it! This bastard Nietali made him follow me.

District police officer. I ask you not to interrupt me. In addition, you, being in the premises of a state institution, where swearing is forbidden, continue to swear at Nietali Syzdykov using Russian words. And now we’ll write it down in the incriminating report. So, you insulted Nietali Syzdykov using both Russian and Kazakh swearing words.

Komekbay. Yeah, keep writing!.. Now I understand everything! You and Nietali Syzdykov are in this together, you kiss his.... Eh, when you were born I carried water with buckets from Akbulak. But I shouldn’t have done it. After all, I was glad that a relative was born! Oh, poor me, how could I know back then that this relative would grow up and bring me down on my knees in front of Nietali.

District police officer. Don’t lie like that. I never heard that when I was born, you carried water in buckets.

Komekbay. If you haven’t heard about it, you’d better go back home and ask your parents. They are still alive, as far as I know. Perhaps, you know that the cross-eyed Yerkebay, your father, is my brother-in-law. Once, he stole my aunt Gulsim, that is, your mother. If someone has to be judged, it’s not me, who was outraged and swore at Nietali. It should be your father, who kidnapped a girl against the law.

District police officer. Watch what you say. My father is not cross-eyed.

Komekbay. Forgive me, sir. So, how will we call your father’s eyes, when one of them looks at ay* [*Ay is the moon], and another – at say?* [*Say is an isolated terrain feature, here it serves as a hint at a person’s nature] Will we call him “with playful eyes” or “black-eyed”, huh?

District police officer. It’s none of your business.

Komekbay. Is it none of my business?!. It is my business!.. Firstly, he is my brother-in-law. Secondly, he kidnapped my aunt without her consent, and then, taking advantage of the meekness of our family, he didn’t pay a dime of bride-money.

District police officer. Bride-money is a relic of the past. So, let’s get back to the explanatory report. Where did we stop? Yes, we were talking about drinking buddies. Thus, I, Komekbay Zhanbyrbaev, began to look for drinking companions among fellow villagers. However, my neighbor Yermek Shynarbaev and the former classmate Alaydar Zhetesov refused to be my drinking buddies. After that, I got angry with them and decided to drink the entire bottle of vodka by myself. Then, I came back to my yard and climbed up the ladder to the roof of the barn.

Komekbay. (He shakes his head and mutters something incoherently). I told you… he followed me, hunting down. Hey, I thought you were my nephew, and you turned out to be… a real spy!

District police officer. What did you just say?!.

Komekbay. You… You know what, you are the spy of this bastard – Nietali!

District police officer. Watch your tongue!.. You insult a law enforcement official.

Komekbay. (He gets up from his seat, leans toward the district police officer, staring at him bewilderedly). Are you a law enforcement official? Hey, law enforcer, then why don’t you enforce the law, huh? Answer me, the state has put you in this position so that you could protect and justify the gluttons that grab the salaries of helpless and meek people, huh? Answer me!.

District police officer. (He grinned). Are you meek?! You insult the whole nation with swearing words in both Russian and Kazakh…

Komekbay. Yes, I am. Doesn’t it look like that?

District police officer. Not at all!.. So, who is the glutton?

Komekbay. Probably, you don’t know. Nietali is the glutton. Hey, law enforcement official, listen to me carefully. I will list all his crimes to you, I will not miss a single detail. Listen… I was working the whole summer, without rest, sweat my guts out for his “Akbulak” partnership. Got it, the whole summer, without rest! I plowed the land of this devil with my tractor, pulled weeds in potatoes, planted watermelons and melons, mowed hay. I also had a hectare of pumpkins. You probably know that pumpkin seeds are expensive in the market.

District police officer. Why do I need all these details? Say the main thing.

Komekbay. But I’m gradually approaching the main thing, do you have patience or not? Or you don’t want to listen to me at all, do you?

District police officer. Cut it short.

Komekbay. (He points at the carafe standing on the edge of the table). Is it water?

District police officer. Yes.

Komekbay. Wow, I wanted to explain everything, but my throat got dry. Pour me a glass of water.

A policeman pours water from the carafe into a faceted glass and hands it to Komekbay.

Komekbay (He pours all the water at once into his guggling throat). Not a single person wanted to share my sorrow. What was I supposed to do? Die or what? So, I decided to drink alone. Wow!.. Where did we stop? Yes, I planted potatoes; I looked after watermelons, melons, and pumpkins the whole summer. There wasn’t a single day when I could rest like normal people. Can you guess how much the bastard Nietali paid for such labor when the harvest was reaped? Only 120 thousand tenge. It’s a daylight robbery, it’s like ripping off a person’s skin alive, ah! You tell me! Is it fair?

If you don’t believe me, we’ll count it now.

District police officer. No need to count. I got it.

Komekbay. No, let’s count, otherwise, you might think that I’m trying to make a slander against Nietali.

Alright, you should know well, a kilogram of potatoes in the market in the regional center costs about 50 tenge on average. I delivered him five tons of potatoes. This is as much as 250 thousand tenge.

A kilogram of melons and watermelons everywhere costs at least 40 tenge. And I gave him 12 tons. Multiply two by four – eight, four by ten – forty, total – forty eight. Plus three zeros. How much do we get? That’s right, 480 thousand.

Now let’s move on to the pumpkins. A kilogram of pumpkin costs 60 tenge. I gave him six tons. So, we get at least 360 thousand tenge. And now let’s put it all together. And I calculated this amount long ago: we get a total of 1 million 90 thousand tenge.

Okay, minus half of this million tenge, which was spent on transportation, resellers, taxes, say, on the insatiable appetite of this bastard Nietali. Considering all these things, I should get at least half a million tenge from this amount, right? And he gives me only 120 thousand. And how am I supposed to feed five children until the next summer, one smaller than the other, and an angry wife, roaring like a bear? And how will I survive? We need to eat, drink, we need clothes, shoes, cigarettes. Besides, I need a bottle of vodka from time to time to drown my sorrow like this. I am a human being, like you, for God’s sake. Do you now understand why I raged in broad daylight?

District police officer. Did you finish?

Komekbay. Yes, I did.

District police officer. Why do you tell me all this stuff? You just mess me about.

Komekbay. What do you mean? Why do I tell you this? Oybay-au! You said… You are a law enforcement official? My rights are infringed!

District police officer. So what? Does it mean you need to swear at someone?

Komekbay. (He jumps to his feet). Eh, there’s a really damned man sitting in front of me. And there is no one to shoot me, I’ve been telling you this story for hours.

District police officer. (He jumped to his feet too and started staring hard at Komekbay). What did you just say?!

Komekbay. You are damned, like Nietali. Got it?! You have no heart, not a bit of human feelings, only insatiable greed!..

District police officer. Aksakal, mind what you are saying!..

Komekbay. I won’t! I am a man who will tell the truth until his death. Got it?! I do not know how to please the powerful people, using guile, like you.

District police officer. If so, I’ll lock you up in the holding cell now. You are too impudent!..

Komekbay. Where will you lock me up?!

District police officer. In the holding cell – that is, in the temporary detention facility. Or haven’t heard of it?

The policeman handcuffs Komekbay deftly, and drags him into the holding cell.

Komekbay. Leave me alone! You have no right!

District police officer. I have, have!.. You are intoxicated, pose a danger to society, so I must shut you out from other conscious and law-abiding citizens. Then you will answer before the court twice – for insulting Nietali Kopbosynov’s father and my father.

Komekbay. You should know that I don’t pose danger to society! You do!

District police officer. Shut up!

Komekbay. I won’t!

District police officer. Well, then now you’ll shut up for a long time.

The district police officer holds tightly Komekbay, who can hardly stand, drags him to the holding cell and pushes him into the cell with all his might. Then, he pulls out a bunch of keys from his pocket, chooses the largest one, slams the iron door of the cell with bars, and locks it. Komekbay’s cry of despair comes from inside. He shakes the iron door with his fists. However, the policeman doesn’t pay attention to his actions at all and goes dead pan to do his job.

Scene No. 6

Predawn hours, the edge of the sun appears above the horizon, residents of the aul begin to wake up. The holding cell. In the light of a hundred-watt small light bulb, huddling himself up twofold, Komekbay is dozing on a large iron bed. He is dreaming. In his dream, he talks with his beloved Zibash. Of course, it’s not Zibash herself, it’s her ghost.

The Ghost of Zibash. (She talks to Komekbay) My darling, keep your head up! Dear, go through this ordeal sent by Allah patiently. You are a real man, a true husband! Prove it to me again. Remember: no matter what difficulties befall, the servant of God must never lose faith in the mercy of Allah, because God forgives, he is merciful, his love and compassion are infinite. Just stay patient, you’ll see, everything will be fine.

Komekbay. Oh, how can it turn out to be fine? So far, nobody has done anything good for me. My late father, Kuan, was a poor man, and I’m the same. I’ll be forty-five soon, but I really haven’t achieved anything: all I see is adversity, hard common work, robbery and deceit of bosses. To be honest, I’ve never experienced anything good in this life.

The Ghost of Zibash. My darling, why do you think so? And what about our honey days and nights in a cramped bed, when we discovered each other in heartfelt conversations? Oh, my sweetheart, tell me I made you happy then. At those moments, I was ready to give all the warmth of my soul and body to you, to the very last drop. Tell me: weren’t you happy then?

Komekbay. Yes, perhaps, at those moments I began to feel what real happiness was. However, those times were like torrential downpours that swept over the world, refreshing and washing it. They were too short. Therefore, they were quickly forgotten, forgive me.

Zibash. (She is offended and shaking her head). Indeed, unfortunately, you, men, forget everything too fast. However, I’ve always remembered those moments. They were like a dream. They were reminiscent of stormy showers, sweeping over the blooming summer. It was the time of delightful bliss. If you don’t believe, my darling, your words “Zhanym! Sweetheart!”, which you may have said consciously or thoughtlessly, your fiery caresses and emotional confessions saved me so many times, when I felt extremely lonely, especially when my soul was the edge of the abyss. And they still save me in this vicissitudinous world.

Komeke, do you remember, when we were lying on a cramped bed and reading some excerpts from the novel by the famous Kyrgyz writer Chingiz Aitmatov “Axeman’s Block” almost until dawn? I think that you remember how the main character of this book, named Avdiy Kallistratov, ended up in a godforsaken land, the endless steppes of Moyun-Kum, when he came to Zhalpaksaz for the second time in search of his beloved, who worked as a nurse at this tiny railway station. Do you remember how Avdiy didn’t make it to his beloved one and was caught by poachers halfway? He was lying with his hands tied in the back of a car on the carcasses of saigas killed by cutthroats. He was lamenting the fact that he couldn’t be with his sweetheart, thinking: “May all the created beings be alive! Let her understand that when love lives in the heart, the mercy of God is infinite.” And now I’m like this hero, I wish you infinite love from the bottom of my heart, I pray to Allah about it. We all begin to experience true happiness only when an angel brings love to our hearts by the grace of God. Everything else can be forgotten, except for that, my darling! And only then your priceless soul, having cleansed itself of evil, revenge, hatred and aversion, will find peace, and only then you will discover the true meaning of life and be endlessly grateful to the Almighty Creator.

Komekbay. Probably, what you say is true. I believe you, because the soul of a woman is boundless, like the ocean, and deep, like the sea. I’ve been convinced of this more than once. Yes, I must admit, only two people in this world opened my eyes to what happiness is, the first one is my dear mother, and the second is you, my dear, the angel that I met by the grace of the Creator at the age of forty.

The Ghost of Zibash. Well, then never forget the happy days you spent with me, always keep them in mind. With a pure soul, as if washed by the steppe rain, shaking off the ashes and dust of the world, at the moments of deep peace, with all your heart, raise the words of gratitude to the Almighty Creator who brought us together on the thorny difficult paths! Agree or not, but, in general, I think that we, Godэs creatures, don’t know how to thank for good.

Komekbay. I completely agree, my bozkaragan*! [*Bozkaragan is lilac].You can’t be forgotten. However, I’m very tired of this life. All my friends, comrades betrayed me. It turns out that people shift to the side of the rich, powerful ones in crucial periods. Today I know it for sure.

The Ghost of Zibash. Komekzhan, no offence, but I think you’re too credulous. Oybay-au, you know, selling and selling out are the oldest tradition of two-legged creatures dating back to the time of Adam and Eve. And why are you so worried, waste your nerves on this? Be sure, you’re not the only creature on this Earth that is destined to experience such deprivations to their deathbed. The entire mankind has walked along this road, and you must live it through too.

Komekbay. Zibash, do you understand that I’m left alone in this world?

The Ghost of Zibash. Don’t say that! And what about me?! Or do you believe that a woman is of no importance? While I’m still alive, you’ll never be left alone in this or that world. Alright, cheer up! You have no right to be weak, because you are the man, my steadfast support!

Komekbay. Don’t worry, I’ll get back on my feet for the sake of our happiness. Yesterday, I just drank too much. Now, I’m very thirsty, I have a terrible headache.

The Ghost of Zibash. It’s okay, you’ll wake up now, then you’ll come to my house, I’ll give you a strong brewed Indian tea with whipped cream, and your pain will go away. By the way, my darling, did you compare me with something? Right?

Komekbay. I called you bozkaragan!