Reunited By Their Secret Daughter / A Fling To Steal Her Heart

Xander paused beside the stretcher and Chloe heard him introduce himself.

‘What’s the situation?’

‘Thirty-year-old woman, thirty-six weeks’ gestation, suffered a cardiac arrest, non-responsive. I’ve administered three milligrams of atropine and eight milligrams of epinephrine via IV. Intubated on the first attempt and manual ventilation continuing. She has a head trauma, most likely the cause of the cardiac arrest, a facial cyanosis and an abdominal seat-belt hematoma. I’m concerned about an abdominal haemorrhage.’

‘We can do an abdominal ultrasound on board the chopper if she can be moved.’

The paramedics nodded and the woman was transferred to the helicopter. It took all of the first responders working in unison. Four to lift the spinal board while Chloe held the drip.

Xander cut through the woman’s clothing while resuscitation attempts continued around him. Her exposed belly was tight and drum-like. Chloe had the ultrasound ready. She handed Xander the transducer and squeezed the aqueous gel onto the patient’s abdomen.

There was a heartbeat but it belonged to the foetus.

‘There are signs of an abdominal haemorrhage but the bleeding has slowed.’

‘How long since ALS commenced?’ Xander asked as he wiped off the ultrasound gel.

‘Fourteen minutes.’

‘And the delay between the cardiac arrest and treatment?’

‘Several minutes.’

‘We could lose them both at this rate.’ Xander looked at Chloe. ‘Do we try to save one?’

She knew he was talking about saving the baby.

She nodded.

‘What are you going to do?’ Rick asked.

‘If you can continue ventilation, we can perform a C-section to deliver the baby.’

‘Here?’

It was Xander’s turn to nod.

‘Have you done this before?’

‘Once.’

Xander’s grey eyes were dark. Chloe suspected from his expression that the last time didn’t go so well. She hoped he’d learnt from the experience.

‘Are you okay to help me?’ he asked her.

She nodded. She was prepared to support him in this decision. She knew he wouldn’t be suggesting this option if he thought the baby would survive any other way. They may even be able to save both patients.

They pulled a fresh pair of surgical gloves on over the first.

Chloe tore open sterile packages containing surgical instruments and laid them on the seat beside her. She poured disinfectant liberally over the woman’s abdomen, spreading it across her skin.

Xander picked up a scalpel and made a deep incision, slicing through the woman’s abdomen from her umbilicus to her pubic bone. Blood was pooled in her abdominal cavity obstructing their vision. Chloe packed gauze into the abdomen, soaking up the blood, as Xander tied off an artery.

The blood was dealt with quickly and no more appeared. The woman remained unresponsive. Without a pulse she wasn’t able to bleed.

Xander had his hands inside the woman’s abdomen. He palpated her uterus, looking and feeling for signs of trauma.

Chloe knew he was making the right decision. If they didn’t deliver this baby they would have two fatalities.

‘The uterus is intact,’ he said but it didn’t remain that way for long.

Xander cut the uterus open and swiftly lifted the baby from the womb.

A boy.

He handed him to Chloe.

The whole procedure had taken less than four minutes.

‘No meconium, cord intact and free, placenta intact,’ Xander recounted while Chloe focused on her patient.

The baby was pink but flaccid. He wasn’t crying. Or breathing. He had no reflexes on stimulus and his heart rate was well below ideal at just sixty beats per minute. He had a one-minute Apgar score of three out of ten. He was not out of danger yet.

Chloe dried the baby, rubbing him vigorously to warm him up and hopefully stimulate respiration. When that didn’t work she wrapped him to keep him warm and prepared to suction his airway.

Xander was stitching the woman’s abdomen but she saw him glance over at her.

‘Do you need help?’

She nodded. ‘He’s not breathing. Pulse only sixty. Can you get ready to bag him?’

Xander ripped off his gloves before pulling on another clean pair. He grabbed a mask and attached the bag, placing the tiny mask over the baby’s face when Chloe removed the suction tube.

The baby’s heart rate remained low, despite the oxygen that was now being pumped into him.

‘Swap places with me,’ Xander instructed.

‘What are you going to do?’

‘Administer epinephrine.’

Xander didn’t bother looking for a vein on the tiny struggling baby. He used an intraosseous needle, injecting the drug directly into the bone marrow in the tibia in an attempt to stimulate his heart.

Chloe kept bagging the newborn, holding her own breath as she waited for signs of improvement.

The five-minute Apgar score was three points better. The heart rate was above one hundred and the skin was pink-coloured. The reflexes were still absent and there was no grimace but there was spontaneous, albeit irregular, respiratory drive.

Chloe relaxed slightly but monitored the baby closely as Simon flew them to the hospital.

It was a flurry of activity from the moment they touched down on the helipad. The neonatal team whisked the baby away to the neonatal intensive care unit and Chloe followed. He wasn’t her patient any longer but she needed to know he was going to be okay.

She waited while the neonatal team assessed the baby. It seemed wrong to leave him alone with no one to watch over him. His mother hadn’t made it—she’d been declared deceased on arrival—and Chloe’s heart went out to the tiny newborn who’d had such a traumatic introduction to the world.

Who was going to be responsible for this baby?

Her mind returned to the older woman she’d seen sitting in the back of the ambulance at the scene of the accident. She wondered where she was. Who she was. The grandmother? Had anyone told her what had happened to her family?

Chloe’s mind drifted to her own daughter. Who would be there for Lily if something happened to her? Her mother? Her brothers?

Her mother was a young grandmother but raising another child on her own at her age? Chloe knew she’d do it but it wasn’t right. And her brothers had their own lives to live.

Lily had a father. Chloe had Xander listed in her will. If anything should happen to her, she’d asked that he be found. But four years ago he hadn’t wanted a family. Had things changed? Would he want Lily now?

Her thoughts were maudlin. Triggered by the day’s events.

One life taken, one life saved. Chloe didn’t know whether it had been a good day or a bad day.

It could have been better.

It could have been worse.

By the time the baby had been checked and given a relatively good prognosis her shift had ended and she could go home. She was surprised to find she was still wearing her flight overalls. They were covered in blood—she must look a complete mess. She couldn’t leave the hospital like that.

She went upstairs to the air ambulance unit to change. Her hands were shaking as she stripped off the jumpsuit and tossed it into the laundry hamper. She stood still, gathering her thoughts, searching for the energy to turn around and go home.

She made it outside but couldn’t make it much further than a bench overlooking the river. Her vision was blurry and her legs were weak.

She sat, letting the London commuters flow around her as they made their way home. She needed to give her wobbly knees a chance to rest and her brain a chance to reset. Her thoughts were disturbed, her mind circling. She couldn’t seem to separate the baby’s fate from her own past.

‘Chloe, are you okay?’

She turned at the sound of his voice. Xander was standing beside the bench, his grey eyes shadowed, his brow furrowed with concern.

‘Not really.’ Her voice wobbled and her eyes filled with tears.

‘Is it the baby?’

She shook her head. ‘No, he’s okay, but the mother didn’t make it.’

‘I heard.’

Chloe wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. Her face was wet with tears. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m upset.’ But she did know. She was finding it hard to separate her life from their patients’ today. She wasn’t usually so affected by her work. By the tragedies. Normally she could compartmentalise.

Perhaps it had something to do with Xander’s reappearance. She’d found herself unsettled, off-kilter, for the past few days. Her personal and professional lives were colliding. And today’s events reminded her that she’d grown up without a parent and she’d put her daughter, Lily, in the same position.

‘Don’t apologise,’ Xander said as he sat down next to her. ‘Some jobs just get to us more than others.’ He wrapped his arm around her, completely unaware of the direction of her thoughts.

Chloe leaned into him. She fitted perfectly into his side.

‘You’re freezing. Come on, you need to get out of the cold.’

Despite Xander’s body heat she wasn’t warming up. There was a breeze coming off the river and the spring evening was getting chilly now that the sun was setting.

He pulled her to her feet but kept his arm wrapped around her.

‘Where are we going?’

‘To get you warmed up. My flat is about five hundred metres along the river.’

She didn’t argue. Her brain was too cold to stage a protest.

He walked on the river side of her along the Albert Embankment, keeping her sheltered from the wind, and guided her into a large, modern building overlooking the Thames. He kept her tucked against his side as they went up in the lift, almost as if he was afraid she would vanish if he let her go. He had no idea she was incapable of making any decisions at the moment. She had her eyes closed as she rested her head against his chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. Its steady rhythm was soothing, helping to settle her anxious mind.

She matched her steps to his, the thick carpet muffling their footsteps, as they crossed the corridor to his apartment. He swiped his card and held the door for her. A small entry foyer led into an open-plan living, dining, kitchen area on the left with, she assumed, a bedroom and bathroom to the right.

Xander switched on the lights and steered her towards a small couch. It was the only seating option aside from the dining chairs. She heard Xander flick the heating on and fill the kettle but her gaze was drawn to the bank of floor-to-ceiling windows. The apartment was modern, generic, impersonal but the view over the river was spectacular. She curled up on the couch and let her gaze wander over the London skyline. The Houses of Parliament, Big Ben and the London Eye were spread out before her as the city lights began to glow as dusk deepened.

Xander placed a mug of coffee on the table in front of her but poured a nip of brandy into it before he passed it to her. He placed a plate of sweet biscuits on the table and sat beside her.

The couch seemed even smaller once Xander was sharing it with her. His thigh brushed against hers as he sat down and Chloe was tempted to climb into his lap. She made conversation to fill the silence, which she felt was becoming a little awkward.

‘Did you notice the older lady at the scene of the accident?’ she asked as she wrapped her hands around the mug to stop the shaking. Her hands felt like blocks of ice and she wondered if she’d ever feel warm again. ‘The one who was in the back of the ambulance? Do you know who she was?’

‘She was the baby’s grandmother.’

‘I wonder if she knows what has happened.’

‘Is that what’s bothering you?’

‘Not just that.’ Chloe shook her head. ‘I’ve been wondering who is going to look after the baby. Does he have a father somewhere? Family. What if his grandmother is all he has?’

‘At least he’ll have someone.’

‘He should have a mother. Better yet, he should have two parents.’

‘We did everything possible, Chloe.’

‘I know that. I’m not blaming anyone. It’s just not the way things are meant to be.’

‘There’s absolutely no point worrying about things you can’t change. I learnt that lesson a long time ago.’

‘And I learnt the hard way that it’s better to have two parents.’

‘You did?’

Chloe nodded. ‘I grew up without my father. He died when I was seven.’

Xander wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. He held her quietly and his touch was reassuring. ‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’

‘He was a policeman, killed while on duty.’

‘Oh, Chloe, that must have been tough.’

‘It was.’ She’d been angry at her father. He’d had an affair and had left her mother and his children. Chloe hadn’t been able to understand how he could leave them all, how he could abandon her, and she hadn’t forgiven him. And then he’d been killed responding to an armed robbery and she’d never had the chance to forgive him. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Xander the full story right now; she still felt guilty about her anger. She didn’t mention that he’d already abandoned them, had already walked out on them all to move in with his girlfriend, when he was killed. She tried not to think about that. She tried to forget that he’d chosen to leave them. She didn’t subscribe to her mother’s theory that he had left her but not his children. Her father had made a choice and she’d been left behind. ‘Mum has raised us on her own.’

She had never told him any of this and talking about it now reminded her of how little they knew of each other. She had based her memories on a man who she’d possibly created in her imagination.

She went to sip her coffee and realised she’d finished it. She stared into her empty cup.

She was warming up but now she was restless. She jiggled her feet, making her knees jump up and down. She didn’t like talking about her past. She should go home but she was reluctant to leave just yet.

Xander reached over and took the mug from her hands, placing it on the coffee table. ‘You’re still cold.’ There was a small throw rug draped over the end of the couch. He pulled it towards him and wrapped it around her shoulders. She leant into him as he draped the blanket over her. She couldn’t help it. She was drawn to him. She’d always been drawn to him.

‘It’s the one thing I can’t get used to,’ he continued as he held her hands. ‘The cold. And the sense of space.’

‘That’s two things.’

‘So it is.’ He smiled and her feeling of hopelessness lifted.

‘How long have you been away for?’ she asked.

‘Four years. On and off. Before Wales I was in Canada and in South Africa before that. I’ve been home on a couple of occasions but I’ve been gone for over twelve months this time. I was thinking about heading home once I finished here but…’

‘But?’

He was rubbing her hands between his, warming them up. He stopped rubbing when she asked the question but he didn’t let go of her.

‘Now I’m not sure.’ He was looking at her intently, his grey eyes serious and considerate. ‘I don’t believe in coincidences but I do believe in fate.’

She believed in fate too but she knew it could bring both good and bad fortune. Fate had introduced her to Xander and then taken her away from him.

Fate had given her Lily when she’d needed someone to love.

‘I’m wondering if there’s a reason we’ve found ourselves here together again,’ he said.

Chloe was convinced there was a reason that Xander was back in her life. She just wasn’t sure if he was going to like the reason. She had no idea if he was going to want to be a father. She knew this was an opportunity to tell him about Lily but she couldn’t bring herself to start that discussion. She was exhausted, emotionally worn out, and she didn’t think she could do justice to this conversation tonight. Xander seemed happy to talk so she stayed silent. She knew she was being a coward but it was the easier option.

He lifted her legs and rested them in his lap. He picked up her hand and kissed her fingertips. ‘I’ve missed you.’

She wanted to tell him she’d missed him too. That she’d thought of him every day. But her voice caught in her throat. She was too afraid.

Her eyes filled with tears.

Had they wasted four years? Could they still be together? Could they have lasted?

He misunderstood her tears but she didn’t care as he gathered her into his arms and stroked her hair. ‘It’s okay. It’s just been a bad day. Everything will look better in the morning.’

It’s the sort of thing she would say to Lily. The sort of thing her mother would say to her. The sort of thing a father might say.

But he didn’t want children.

She let him comfort her anyway.

‘Would you like to stay for dinner?’ he asked. ‘I’ll order something in.’

She shook her head. ‘I can’t.’ She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t risk it. There was too much at stake now.

She hadn’t told her mother she’d be late and both Susan and Lily would be expecting her home soon if she didn’t call. She wanted to be home in time to put Lily to bed. Lily was her priority. As much as she wanted to stay, Lily came first.

She had a daughter to get home to. Their daughter.

She was going to have to figure out how to tell him he was a father. She couldn’t let this attraction go any further without telling him first. And she wanted to take this further. She knew it would happen. It was inevitable. Just like four years ago. Was her memory distorted by rose-tinted glasses? Tainted by her feelings for him as Lily’s father? She didn’t know but she knew she couldn’t resist him. She didn’t want to resist him.

‘Can I see you over the weekend, then?’ Xander’s question jolted her out of her thoughts.

‘One of my girlfriends is getting married in a couple of weeks. I’m a bridesmaid and we’ve a full day of preparations planned for tomorrow.’

‘How about on Sunday?’

‘I have a family thing.’ But she couldn’t leave without knowing that she’d see him again. ‘I’d love to make plans—can I call you later and we’ll sort something out?’

He nodded and said, ‘Pass me your phone. I’ll put my number in it.’

He stored his number in her phone and walked her out to hail a cab.

‘I’ll sit by the phone,’ he said as he kissed her goodbye, ‘waiting for your call.’

‘You have a mobile. You can keep it with you.’

He grinned as she climbed into the cab. ‘I’ll still be waiting.’

Xander watched the tail lights of the cab fade into the distance, taking Chloe away. The ball was in her court now. Would she call him? Their chemistry hadn’t faded; the spark between them was still bright. She had to feel it too. Would he get another chance?

He wanted a chance to get to know her again but this time he knew it would be different. Four years ago he hadn’t been prepared for a serious relationship. He’d been emotionally, mentally and physically battered and bruised. A bit of a mess. She had been a bright light…one he hadn’t wanted to dim by subjecting her to his tales of woe. She had lifted him out of his funk.

She’d changed his life in the short time that he’d known her. She’d brightened up his life, but he hadn’t expected her to take some of that hope and light with her when she’d left. He’d expected that they’d have a brief affair and they would both move on with their lives. He hadn’t been looking for anything more than what they’d shared. A brief physical encounter. It hadn’t been until she’d gone that he’d realised how much he missed her. But he still hadn’t been in a position to offer her anything.

She had changed him. But not enough.

He wished he hadn’t let her go but, even now, he knew that had been the right thing to do.

Four years ago he hadn’t been capable of getting into something where there would be an expectation of a long life. A family. All the things that normal people dreamt of. He had been looking short term then. Five years ahead. Not fifty.

But what about now? His life was different now. He was different.

He knew he had changed. He was in a better place emotionally. Not as wrung out. He’d recuperated and he was able to look to the future again. He was five years post-chemotherapy, four years divorced. He’d made peace with what had happened to him.

But peace was not happiness and he wanted to be happy again. The last time he’d been happy had been with Chloe.

He’d travelled the world since then searching for something. Searching for something to replace what she’d given him.

Happiness and hope.

He didn’t have either of those things any more but was he expecting too much to hope that Chloe could or would give them back to him?

‘How did your date go?’

Chloe pushed open the door to the bridal salon and was immediately accosted by Carly. For a moment she thought Carly was asking about Xander. She could still feel the imprint of Xander’s hands on her skin, his lips on hers, and she could feel herself blushing before realising Carly was talking about Stephen. ‘Are you bringing him to Esther’s wedding?’

Chloe glanced at Esther. She had texted her to tell her that the date was a disaster. She mustn’t have shared that information with Carly.

‘I’ve given Esther the sack as a matchmaker.’

‘Oh. What was the problem?’

She was blaming Esther, although she knew it wasn’t her friend’s fault. Stephen had been pleasant enough but he hadn’t set her world on fire. In short, he hadn’t made her feel like Xander did. ‘We weren’t compatible and I didn’t want to waste his time, or mine.’

‘You don’t think you were being hasty?’ Carly asked.

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘But it wasn’t all bad,’ she said as the shop assistant brought out armfuls of bridesmaid’s dresses and arranged them on a rack.

The girls moved into one large change room and continued their conversation while they tried on the dresses, attempting to find something in a colour that suited them both and a style that flattered their figures.

‘I actually ended up having a good night,’ Chloe said as she stripped off her jeans and T-shirt.

‘What? You went home alone. Has that become your definition of a good night?’

‘I didn’t go straight home.’ She could see Carly’s raised eyebrows as Esther zipped her into a pink dress. This was news to her.

‘You didn’t tell me that!’

‘I figured you deserved to be fed information in small doses after the date you subjected me to,’ Chloe told her. ‘But then a guy at the bar offered to buy me a drink and I said yes.’

Chloe stepped into a bias cut, emerald green silk dress. Esther zipped up the dress. ‘That colour isn’t bad and the cut is flattering,’ she said as Carly asked, ‘Did you get his number? Will you see him again?’

Chloe nodded. ‘Yes. He’s just started work with the air ambulance. He’s a doctor.’ She didn’t mention that he was from Australia. That she knew him before. That he was Lily’s father. She wasn’t ready for that conversation.

‘I don’t think I like the pink,’ Esther said as she flicked through the racks and discarded anything floral or lace. ‘I don’t want anything that bright.’ She turned back to Chloe. ‘So, apart from work, will you see him again?’

‘Yes.’

‘When?’

‘I’m not sure. I’ve got his number. I have to work out a time.’

‘I’m organising drinks for Harry’s birthday this Thursday,’ Esther said. ‘Why don’t you invite him to that? I’ll make sure not to invite Stephen.’

Chloe had planned on having a date, just the two of them, but perhaps a social event was a good idea. She could get to know him again a little better first, have a casual conversation, and she wouldn’t feel pressured to mention Lily.