Charlie forced his feet to move, even though they felt like lead. He was screaming inside, begging someone to stop them and say he need not go, but he knew it wouldn’t happen. He was going to live in this man’s house and his senses told him it wouldn’t be what had been promised him; this man might speak politely to Matron but there was cruelty in him and Charlie knew it – had seen it before in the man that had terrorized his mother. He was being delivered to the enemy and there was nothing he could do.
CHAPTER 9
Jenny saw the headlines as she called in to get a paper at the corner shop that morning. A few nights previously a man had been murdered on the docks, knifed in the stomach. The police seemed to think it was a gangland killing, so she read the article as she waited for her bus to come.
‘Makes you wonder what things are coming to, doesn’t it?’ a man’s voice said close to her. Jenny tingled as she turned to face him. ‘Those thugs want hanging.’
Jenny stared. He looked even more attractive today, and the fact that he’d come back this way when she’d thought he never would, robbed her of the power to think properly.
‘It is awful that things like this go on round here. My sister Lily always tells me never to come home late at night alone – but I work nights and it’s usually early morning when I finish.’
‘Yes, I know,’ he said. ‘I’ve seen you catching your bus a few mornings.’ He extended his gloved hand. He was wearing black gloves and a light-coloured coat over narrow trousers and black leather shoes. ‘My name is Chris Moore – short for Christophe, my mother’s choice – she is German. May I ask yours?’
‘I’m Jenny Brown,’ she said, blushing a little as he smiled at her. ‘I’m a nurse at the Lady Rosalie infirmary and I’ve been on night duty.’
‘I’m pleased to meet you, Jenny,’ he said and his hand felt cool as it closed about hers. ‘I wonder if you would permit me to take you for coffee one day – or we could meet for afternoon tea, perhaps. I have a car, just a small Morris. I could take you home or fetch you …’
He looked so eager at that moment that Jenny’s caution was lost and she smiled. ‘Do you know, I should love to go for tea with you. We could meet before I go to work at six – if you don’t mind me wearing my uniform?’
‘I think you look beautiful in your uniform,’ he said, his eyes dwelling on her with approval. ‘Why don’t we meet later today? I could pick you up at home – or meet somewhere?’
‘I think we might meet this time …’ Jenny said and then blushed hotly as she realized that sounded as if she expected to meet often. ‘I mean … there is a nice little teashop around the corner. It is run by Lavender and Lace …’ She laughed as his eyebrows rose. ‘Two sisters who wear lavender and lace. They’re both widows from the last war with Germany and they run the teashop together.’
‘Ah, I see,’ he nodded. ‘I had thought to take you up the West End but it would be easier for your work here – we’ll save the high lights for when you have time off, shall we?’
Jenny gave an embarrassed little nod and then laughed. It was exciting – and she knew she shouldn’t let his words go to her head but couldn’t help herself. She’d thought about him so often, hoping he would return, and now he had and it was all turning out the way she’d dreamed. She felt like pinching herself to make sure she was awake.
Somehow it was no surprise to her that he got on the bus when it came and sat down next to her. He asked the conductor for a tuppeny fare for them both, as if he already knew where she was going. Jenny’s head was whirling; she felt flattered by his smile and the attention he was paying her.
‘Did you know that it is hoped that a new German car costing £61 will be produced? Hitler is the inspiration behind it. They were speaking about it on the wireless last night and saying we ought to have something similar here for the working man.’
‘I don’t have much time for listening to the wireless,’ she told him. ‘I read the papers for news because I can take them up to my room or skim them on the bus in the mornings.’
‘Then you will have seen that the government is blaming the ladies’ craze for slimming for the drop in potatoes sales.’ His eyes danced with mischief and she knew he was bent on catching her interest. ‘And Cambridge won the boat race in twenty-one minutes and six seconds, the slowest winning time since 1925 when the Oxford boat sank …’
‘I read more important things!’ Jenny glared at him.
‘When I was last in Germany, they had banned the British film Catherine the Great because its star and director are Jewish. Doesn’t seem fair to me …’ He frowned as if he disapproved of something but she wasn’t sure if it was of Jews or the banning of the film.
‘Do you often travel to Germany?’ Jenny asked.
‘I travel all over,’ he said, ‘but my mother still lives there so, yes, quite often.’
‘Have you been to America?’ She looked at him with interest.
‘Yes. I was there last year,’ he replied. ‘I travelled by sea – it only takes a few days now – but Pan American is developing planes that they believe will carry passengers non-stop from New York to Britain one day.’
‘That sounds exciting.’ She looked at him curiously. ‘Do you travel a lot?’
He nodded and looked thoughtful. ‘I travel for my work.’
Jenny wanted to ask more but he was not forthcoming and she didn’t want to seem curious. When they arrived at her bus stop, he stood up to let her out into the aisle.
‘I shall see you at Lavender and Lace this afternoon,’ he said and Jenny smiled.
‘Yes, please,’ she said and hurried down the bus to get off before the impatient conductor rang his bell again. She turned to wave to Chris from the pavement but he wasn’t looking, his head bent as he wrote something in a little black notebook. She felt disappointed that he hadn’t looked for her and then dismissed it as foolish.
Lily had the kettle on when she walked into the kitchen of the small terraced house. It had belonged to their father and been left to their mother and then equally to the two sisters. They shared all the expenses and the chores and Jenny would normally have been back too late to see her sister but Lily had the day off.
‘Where is Gran?’ Jenny asked, looking round.
‘In bed,’ Lily told her. ‘She had a bit of a chill and said she would go up rather than infect us both.’
‘I’ll pop up and see if she wants a cup of tea before I have mine.’
‘I’ve made you some toast and there’s a new pot of marmalade,’ Lily said. ‘If you’re tired, I could bring a tray up for you later?’
‘No, I’ll eat now,’ Jenny said. ‘I was tired when I came off duty but I’m not now.’ It was the excitement of talking to her new friend – but Jenny wouldn’t tell her sister that, because she knew Lily would not approve.
‘I’m off today so I’m going shopping when we’ve eaten,’ Lily said. ‘I need some new shoes and I’ll bring back some food – bread and ham and tomatoes – for tea before you go.’
‘That sounds lovely but I shan’t be here,’ Jenny said, feeling mean as she saw Lily’s face fall. ‘I have to get in early for a meeting …’
The lie came awkwardly and Lily sensed that it wasn’t the truth but Jenny seldom lied to anyone and so Lily accepted it despite her instincts. Jenny knew she ought to have told her sister the truth but she hadn’t wanted to be subjected to one of Lily’s lectures on the dangers of having anything to do with men. She wanted to dwell on the pleasures awaiting her later that day and savour the thought of what might come in the future.
‘I’ll pop up to Gran,’ she said, avoiding her sister’s eyes and feeling guilty as she went up to the elderly lady’s room. She peeped round the door, looking at her grandmother. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’
‘Not yet. I’ll have some cocoa when you’ve had your tea,’ Gran said. ‘You look pretty, Jenny. Did you meet someone nice today?’
Jenny blushed and shook her head. ‘I’ll bring you a cup of cocoa up later …’
Gran saw right through her, but she wouldn’t tease Jenny and she wouldn’t tell Lily. Jenny smiled as she ran down the stairs again. She might tell Gran later that she’d met someone she liked …
Jenny wore her uniform but put her best coat on over it and a little red hat with a feather that she knew gave her a mischievous look. She would take her nursing cap with her and put it on at work – though if Sister Norton caught her in uniform without her cap, she would catch the sharp edge of her tongue.
Gran gave her an approving look. ‘He’ll think he’s meetin’ a film star,’ she said and grinned. ‘Get off, love, and have a good time.’
‘Will you be all right?’
‘Of course, I shall. It’s just a little chill.’
Jenny threw her a loving smile and left.
Chris was waiting outside the little teashop when she arrived. His face lit up and he came to meet her with outstretched hands, looking into her eyes and smiling.
‘You are beautiful,’ he said. ‘That colour suits you – but shouldn’t you be wearing your cap?’
‘I’ll put it on when I get to work,’ Jenny said. ‘This is a special treat for me and I wanted to look decent.’
‘You couldn’t look anything else,’ he told her. ‘Please, call me Chris and I’ll call you Jenny, if I may?’
‘Yes, please,’ she said. She looked up at him as he ushered her inside. ‘Have you been waiting long?’
‘I booked our table earlier but I only arrived a few minutes ago.’
Jenny saw that a table had been set for them with flowers and a fancy cake stand with delicious sandwiches, almond comfits and cream eclairs, and a rich fruit cake was brought out together with a large pot of fragrant tea and two cups. Jenny poured, asking if he took milk and sugar.
‘Milk, no sugar,’ he said and laughed softly. ‘My mother says I’m sweet enough.’
Jenny gave a little giggle. ‘I need two lumps in mine. I have a sweet tooth.’
‘Good – you will enjoy these, then.’ Chris took a small box of Fry’s chocolates from his coat pocket and passed them to her. ‘I wanted to bring you flowers but I thought you couldn’t take them to work …’
Jenny thanked him, her cheeks a little flushed. She had never been made such a fuss of before and felt a little overwhelmed. To cover her slight embarrassment, she asked, ‘Does your mother like living in Germany – wouldn’t she rather live here with you? Mine died when I was only twelve and I live with my sister Lily and Gran.’
He nodded, as if he already knew. ‘My mother lives in – or rather near – a forest in Germany, well away from Berlin. Her family were once rather posh but the money ran out years ago. I came to England for my education and lived with my uncle after my father died. He was English. I visit Mama several times a year; it seems to be enough for her.’
Jenny studied his face, noticing the little flicker at his temples as a nerve jumped. Speaking of his mother disturbed him. ‘I’m sorry. It was a personal question to ask.’
‘Not at all, you must ask what you want to know, Jenny,’ he said and she noticed a faint accent that she hadn’t particularly observed before, probably because he was disturbed. ‘My father’s family were wealthy and Mama married him because of the money, but his estate passed to me when I was twenty-one and I was not prepared to waste it all on her family’s old schloss that is almost falling down.’ He saw her puzzlement and nodded. ‘It’s a small castle or chateau.’
Jenny nodded, once more in awe. She’d known from the start that there was something different about him. He wasn’t from the East End and he’d been reared as a gentleman.
‘I’m sorry …’ she said because it seemed the right thing but he shook his head.
‘My father knew she never loved him. He thought marriage to someone of her class would take his family up the social scale to marry into the German aristocracy, but a minor title meant nothing and he was disappointed. He left her and came home to die when he knew he had a terminal illness.’
Jenny nodded, but was not sure what to say. Chris wasn’t asking for sympathy. ‘So, do you live here or in Germany?’
‘I have a nice country house in Hampshire and spend most of my time in England,’ he told her. ‘I travel when I have to and my father’s money enables me to choose what I do. I do not despise where it comes from – which is a factory in Northampton making boots and shoes.’
Chris was telling her all his family history or so it seemed to Jenny. She responded by telling him about her life and her sister and before she knew it, he reminded her that it was twenty minutes to six. Jenny stared at her watch and jumped up in panic.
‘I’m sorry, I have to go,’ she said. ‘It has been lovely – but Sister Norton will murder me if I’m late!’
‘Of course, you must go,’ he agreed and smiled. ‘Tomorrow I shall be away – but will you meet me again on Friday?’
‘Yes, please,’ Jenny said. ‘Thank you so much for my lovely tea and the chocolates. Where shall I see you on Friday?’
‘We shall make this our meeting place – until I can take you somewhere special. You must have time off?’
‘Yes, I have three days next week.’
‘Then next week we shall go somewhere special but on the days you work we shall come here.’
Jenny agreed, smiled, thanked him again and fled.
‘Evening, nurse,’ Bert Rush, the caretaker said as she passed him on her way to the cloakroom. ‘Look out for Sister tonight. She’s on the warpath!’ He winked at her as she hurried into the nurses’ rest room.
Jenny hung up her coat and hat and fixed her cap before walking as quickly as she dared to the children’s ward. Sister Norton was making her first round of the evening and looked pointedly at the silver watch she had pinned to her uniform, but since Jenny had made it on time by the skin of her teeth, she did no more than send her a warning look.
Jenny went up to her and was given a report on the admissions that day. A young boy had fallen from a wall he’d been climbing on and broken his wrist and was in a lot of pain.
‘Ned will need watching this evening, nurse,’ Sister Norton said, ‘but otherwise there is nothing out of the ordinary. Unless we have some new admissions brought in, it should be a quiet night.’
CHAPTER 10
Sarah was feeling weary when she got in from work that evening. Maisie had been miserable when she’d popped in to see her and needed reassurance, because Charlie hadn’t been.
‘He’s settling into his new home,’ she’d told the little girl, feeling a tug at her heartstrings as she saw her wan face. Sarah hoped he was all right and truthfully, she missed the sight of his cheerful grin.
She’d been kept late by Sister Norton on the ward, missed her bus and had to wait for the next to come along and she was cold and cross. Yet the moment she entered the warm kitchen and saw the terrible look on her mother’s face she knew something was badly wrong.
‘What is it, Mum?’ she asked and her heart started beating too fast, making her breathless. ‘Where’s Dad?’
‘He’s in the London Hospital,’ her mother said. ‘He had a heart attack in the night, Sarah. I ran down to the corner and phoned from the box. Dr Park had him rushed in immediately and I went with him. They told me to go home at about three this morning and I’ve been sitting here ever since …’
Sarah sat down heavily because it was such a shock. Her father suffered with a bad back and they’d all thought he was fine otherwise but this explained why he didn’t get on with things these days. He’d been suffering but he hadn’t told them, because he didn’t want to worry them … just as her mother hadn’t contacted the infirmary because Sarah was working and she didn’t want her upset.
‘He will get better,’ she began but her mother shook her head.
‘No, Sarah. I rang them a few moments ago – and they told me he passed away a few minutes after I left the hospital. They were going to send the police to let us know this morning.’
‘Mum – no!’ Sarah was stunned. ‘He can’t be dead just like that!’
‘They told me he must have been ill a long time. They seemed to think he knew but he never told us …’ Now, Mrs Cartwright had tears trickling down her cheeks. ‘Why didn’t he tell me? I used to tell him off for not fetching in the wood and stuff like that – if I’d known I wouldn’t have said a word …’
‘Oh, Mum,’ Sarah sobbed, feeling sick and stunned, ‘to think he kept it to himself all this time! Why?’
‘I wish I knew,’ her mother said and looked angry. ‘He should have told me, Sarah. I could have looked after him more, wouldn’t have let him go to work. He could have been here with me.’ She dashed away her tears. ‘I’ll never forgive him for doing this to me – never!’
‘Dad was just trying to protect us the way he always did,’ Sarah said. ‘Dad loved us too much to have us worrying about him …’
‘I know …’ Sarah’s mother bent her head and wept, her body wracked with deep, painful sobs. Sarah knelt and put her arms about her as they both cried out their loss. ‘But I loved him too and he didn’t know …’
‘Of course he did, Mum,’ Sarah said. ‘You moaned a bit but we all do. You were a good wife and he knew it.’
‘I can’t forgive myself for not knowing,’ Mrs Cartwright said, lifting her head to look at Sarah. ‘I should have taken more care of him and then he would still be with us.’
Sarah felt guilty too. She was a nurse and should have seen the signs. It was more her fault than her mother’s, but they would both feel this guilt because they’d lost the man they loved so much …
Sarah stood by her mother in church a week later and listened to the singing. These hymns had been her father’s favourite and when she’d been younger, he’d been a regular churchgoer, taking her every Sunday morning. When she’d left school and started work, he’d stopped going to church and Sarah wondered if that was a sign that he’d known he was very ill. Had he lost his faith because it was so unfair? He was only fifty and should have had another twenty years at least.
Sarah had thought she might find peace in the church but she hadn’t. As she and her mother placed a rose each in the grave, she found herself asking: why her father? What had he done to deserve this?
‘I’m really sorry, Sarah, love.’ Ruby Harding came up to her as they walked away from the churchyard. ‘Your dad was one of the good ones. If there’s anything I can do …?’
‘Thanks, but no one can do anything,’ Sarah said. ‘Mum will get a tiny pension he’d paid in for and they had some small savings so we’ll manage without her having to work – but that won’t make up for him not being around.’
‘Nothing makes up for that,’ Ruby said. ‘It’s strange the way the heart just gives out. My brother was working down the docks when he died. One minute they said he looked as right as rain and then he just dropped where he stood – and he was only twenty-three. It broke my mother and she died a few weeks later.’
‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,’ Sarah said and her gaze went to her mother, who was looking pale and anxious. ‘I’d better look after Mum …’
‘Yes, you do that,’ Ruby said, ‘but your ma is made of sterner stuff than mine. She will go on, Sarah, and so must you.’
Sarah turned as Jim touched her arm. ‘Are you ready to go, Sarah? Your mother is in need of a cup of tea and a sit down.’
‘Yes, I know,’ she said. ‘You’ll come back with us, won’t you?’
‘I can’t, love,’ he replied. ‘I’m on duty this lunchtime. I took an hour off but I have to get back.’
‘All right …’ Sarah allowed him to kiss her cheek and then hurried after her mother, slipping her arm about her waist. ‘We’ll soon be home, Mum.’
‘Yes.’ Mrs Cartwright looked at her. ‘I’ll be all right now, Sarah. You don’t need to worry about me.’
‘I love you, Mum,’ Sarah said. ‘You’re special …’ She smiled and held the door of the car they’d hired to take them home. ‘You’re my mum …’
Her mother smiled and for the first time in days it reached her eyes. Sarah’s throat caught. She’d told her mother how much she loved her but she would never stop wishing that she’d told her father the same thing more often, because perhaps then he would have shared his burden with her.
Shaking her head, Sarah made a determined effort to stop moping. Her father had loved them and if he’d kept his secret it was because he wanted it that way. She’d loved him and he’d loved her, but now she had to look forward to the future. Jim would pop round the next day and they would have a little time together before she went to work and he was taking her out in the evening …
On her way home the next evening, Sarah saw Sid Harding at the end of the lane that led to his house and smiled at him. He gave her a half-hearted grin and hesitated, then approached her.
‘Ruby ain’t in – do yer happen to know where she is?’
‘I think she’ll still be at work,’ Sarah told him. ‘She is on late shift today – didn’t she say?’
Sid coloured and then mumbled. ‘Ruby threw me out the other week. I deserved it, but I’ve got somethin’ for ’er and I’m hopin’ she’ll take me back.’
Sarah couldn’t help giving a little laugh as she saw his hangdog expression. ‘I’m sure she will, Mr Harding. We all know Ruby has got a temper but she soon gets over it – and I’m certain she cares about you.’
‘I hope yer right – yer won’t tell ’er I said anythin’?’ He hesitated, then, ‘I was right sorry about yer dad. I knew he was under the weather, of course, but he were never one fer makin’ a fuss. Nice chap, do anythin’ fer anyone.’
‘Thank you, Sid, and of course I shan’t say anything to Ruby. ‘And good luck. I’m sure it will be all right …’
He nodded but didn’t look convinced and Sarah hid her amusement because it wasn’t funny for Sid. He must have been sleeping rough – probably in the shed at the bottom of their garden. It was his own fault for coming home drunk once too often, but she hoped Ruby would relent and let him in. Sid wasn’t a bad man, not when you thought about what went on in some of the houses around here. Sarah knew from her work at the infirmary that some men regularly beat their wives on a Friday night. Drinking was the problem – men who had been humiliated all week drank to forget and then took their frustration out on those they were supposed to love and care for.
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