Life Or Something Like It

‘Should I?’ asked Ellie with intense interest. ‘Won’t I get into trouble?’

Ava leaned in to the little girl. ‘Not if no-one sees,’ she whispered.

‘Ava!’ called Caroline from the other side of the room. Cat looked towards her, ready to smile, but Caroline looked away.

Ava saw the hurt on Cat’s face. She put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘Don’t give it a thought, sweetie. Caroline’s a bitch,’ she said. ‘I’ll call you, okay?’ she added before going to join her companion.

‘I like her,’ said Ellie, watching Ava sashay through the restaurant.

Cat took scant consolation from Ava’s kindness. Her comments about Caroline were true but it made Cat feel miserable that someone who would have talked to her the week before her fall from grace barely acknowledged her now. Her status had been downgraded from PR hotshot to child-caring rookie. It was not a post she relished and she felt distracted and ruffled as their food arrived. She picked at her salad and felt a growing sense of irritation as Charlie gave off an air of someone who didn’t want to be there or make any effort to enjoy her incredibly generous treat. He barely touched his triple-cooked chips. They were still there when Ellie’s chocolate fondant pudding arrived. She attacked it with gusto.

‘Eat up, Charlie,’ said Cat.

‘You eat up,’ he replied.

‘That’s a bit rude.’ Cat frowned. How dare he?

Charlie scowled. ‘Erm, I don’t care?’

‘Charlie, don’t,’ said Ellie looking worried.

Charlie stood up. ‘I’m going to the toilet,’ he said.

‘You can’t go on your own,’ said Cat.

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’re a child and – ’

‘Because I might run off again? What do you care?’ cried Charlie angrily. A couple of diners looked round. Cat noticed Caroline glance over and shake her head.

‘Stop it, Charlie, you’re embarrassing me,’ said Cat quietly.

This was the wrong thing to say. Charlie jumped up on his chair. ‘Oh, I’m embarrassing you, am I? Well I’m so sorry that I’m embarrassing Auntie Cat in front of her stupid posh friends.’

‘Get down, Charlie,’ she snapped.

‘Make me,’ said Charlie. He put a foot up on the table. Cat could see Philippe approaching. She closed her eyes for a second. This could not be happening.

‘I feel sick,’ said Ellie.

Cat opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Ellie’s face, which had turned a peculiar shade of bluey green. The next thing she noticed was Philippe standing between her and Ellie as the small girl turned and vomited all over his pristine maître d’s jacket.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur – a miserable blur. Philippe was kind and understanding as it was his job to be. They were politely ushered to his office so they could clean up.

No, Miss Nightingale must think nothing of it. It happens all the time. I have a spare jacket just for occasions like this. Do not give it a second thought.

But Cat knew. She saw the looks and stares as they trooped out of the restaurant, the disgusted faces and judging glances. She also noticed Ava and Caroline and the way they completely ignored the whole drama. She felt numb as she led the children back to the train station. No-one spoke as they travelled home. She let them into the house and was greeted by Andrew’s cheery face.

‘I managed to finish early so I thought I would come home and see how you all were.’ His smile faded as he spotted their faces. ‘What happened?’

Andrew took immediate charge as the story unfolded. Cat marvelled at how efficiently he herded Ellie into the bath and then tucked her up in bed. He sent Charlie to his room, gave him a severe telling-off, and Cat didn’t see him for the rest of the day. She made herself a cup of tea and went into the living room feeling shaken and drained. When Andrew appeared a while later, he brought in the biscuit tin. He offered it to her.

‘Custard cream for your troubles?’

‘It’s not bloody funny,’ she said.

He gave a small smirk. ‘I know and I am sorry. I know you tried your best.’

‘But?’

He sighed. ‘You don’t have to be super-auntie and give them a million treats. Sometimes all they want to do is go to the park and feed the ducks.’

‘I thought they would enjoy it.’

‘They did. Sort of.’ She frowned at him and he put his arm around her. ‘Ellie really enjoyed the National Gallery. She said you showed them a Christmas picture and a painting of some dead flowers.’

Cat gave a reluctant laugh. ‘And what about Charlie?’

Andrew shrugged. ‘He is sorry. I think he’s struggling with Mel being away. I will get him to apologise.’

‘Hmm,’ replied Cat.

‘He admitted that he should have told you not to let Ellie have a Coke.’

Cat sighed. ‘I thought he was being too nice to me at that point.’

‘I’m sorry. That was partly my fault. You sort of assume people know this stuff but why would you?’

‘Well when you say it like that,’ said Cat a little hurt.

‘Sorry,’ said Andrew. ‘I don’t mean to preach. You’re doing me a huge favour and I really appreciate it. It’s just that kids aren’t really bothered about grand gestures. The best thing you can give a child is your time.’

‘Not an Xbox then?’

Andrew laughed. ‘Not even that.’ He stared at his sister for a moment as if he were choosing his words carefully. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way but I’ve sorted out an activity for you for tomorrow.’

‘Oh yes?’

‘Ye-es. You’re meeting up with some people at the park.’

‘Oh right,’ said Cat, not used to having her life organised for her.

‘Honestly, it will be fine. I promise. You’ll have a good time. It’s just a picnic in the park but it will mean that you don’t have to do all the running. I know it can get a bit intense if you’re on your own with the kids. Even I find that and I’m their father.’

Cat shrugged. ‘Fine,’ she said taking a biscuit. ‘But you’re making the picnic.’ That night, despite her exhaustion, Cat couldn’t sleep. She lay in bed feeling irritated by the day’s events; it wasn’t so much Charlie’s behaviour and Ellie’s vomiting drama that was bothering her, it was the looks she’d received from Caroline Henderson and the feeling that she had been shut out of the world she loved. She felt in limbo at the moment – her life hovering just beyond her control – but she told herself that as soon as Melissa was back, she would skip back to her old world without a backward glance. She was certain of this. It was another hour before she fell asleep.

Chapter Five

It was a perfect summer’s day; the temperature warm without being too hot, the sky a pleasing shade of blue with the odd wisp of cloud floating by. It was glorious. They were due at the park at eleven and, true to his word, Andrew had packed a picnic, read Charlie the riot act and left Cat directions so that there could be no hiccups.

Cat tried to ignore the way Ellie clung on to her father’s leg as he made his way to the door.

‘Have fun!’ he cried with only the merest hint of irony. Cat’s heart sank as she heard the door shut behind him. She poured herself another coffee and padded into the living room. Ellie was sitting on a beanbag, chewing a piece of dry toast and watching Tom and Jerry. She still looked a little pale but had thankfully lost the greenish hue of yesterday. She glanced up at her aunt and then back at the screen.

‘Do you want to watch with me?’ she asked.

Cat remembered Andrew’s comment about giving children time. ‘Okay,’ she said, sitting on the sofa, wondering how much she would need to contribute. Ellie’s eyes didn’t leave the screen so Cat took out her phone, longing for a moment’s connection with the outside world. She didn’t get very far.

‘You have to watch,’ said Ellie. ‘This one is really funny.’

Sighing, Cat put down her phone and glanced at the screen. Tom was wearing a concert pianist’s outfit, his face composed and serious as he played a sombre piece of music. It wasn’t long before Jerry made an appearance.

‘Look!’ cried Ellie. ‘He’s sleeping in the piano.’

As Cat watched, she began to feel a disconcerting sense of déjà vu. Her mind was transported back to when she was around eight and Andrew was four. They were sitting on a battered velvet sofa, two beakers of orange squash and a plate of digestives in front of them. A beautiful woman was perched on the arm of the sofa holding a cup and saucer containing her afternoon tea. Cat wanted to shake off the memory but she couldn’t take her eyes from the screen.

‘I love this one,’ said Ellie happily.

‘Me too,’ whispered Cat.

Ellie looked over at her, oblivious to the emotion it had stirred up in her aunt. ‘Are we going for a picnic with Daisy today then?’

Cat suddenly realised that, despite her brother’s preparations, he hadn’t actually told her who they were meeting. ‘Er yes, I think so.’ Grateful for the distraction from her memories, she hurriedly texted Andrew. The reply came straight back.

‘Claire, Izzy, James, Finn and Daisy. Said you’d meet by the café at eleven.’

Heavens, thought Cat. If anyone’s going to know how to deal with kids, it will be a woman with four children. She carried her coffee mug to the kitchen and went upstairs to get dressed. Charlie’s bedroom door was half open so Cat took a deep breath and tapped gently before going in. They hadn’t spoken since yesterday’s events. Charlie was hunched over his desk and as Cat approached she noticed that he was drawing a picture of the Sunflowers they had seen yesterday.

‘That’s really good, Charlie,’ she said, moving forwards to stand beside him. As he jumped in shock, she realised that he had been listening to music and hadn’t heard her come in. He scowled at her and tried to cover his work.

She held up her hands in apology. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to creep up on you like that. I just wanted to say that we’re leaving in half an hour.’

His scowl loosened but only a little. ‘Are we meeting up with James and that lot?’

Cat nodded. ‘I like your picture, by the way,’ she said. He regarded her for a moment as if trying to work out if she meant it. She smiled. ‘Really,’ she said.

‘Thank you,’ he muttered. She turned towards the door. ‘Sorry about yesterday,’ he said quietly.

She looked back at him. The troublesome child of yesterday had been replaced by a little boy who looked much younger and more vulnerable than his ten years. ‘It’s okay. Let’s put it behind us and enjoy today, okay?’ He nodded. ‘Half an hour,’ she repeated as she walked out of the room.

The park was a teeming mass of overexcited small children and harassed adults. Cat could vaguely remember coming to this park on one awkward weekend trip to see Andrew and Melissa shortly after Charlie was born. She had come out of duty and recalled her brother being so tired he could barely speak and Melissa fussing around the overdressed, fractious baby. Cat had made the mistake of suggesting that he was perhaps upset because he was too hot and had received a withering glance from her sister-in-law in reply. Heaven only knew what Mel thought of this current arrangement.

They made their way along the path towards the café, a dark wooden building with a playground attached. Cat could smell the toilets before she reached them and prayed that neither child would need to go, although given Ellie’s recent record, she knew this was probably unlikely. Cat let the children lead her into the café area. There were around half a dozen picnic benches set out with brightly coloured umbrellas offering some shade against the already fierce sun.

‘There’s James,’ said Charlie, leading them to the bench nearest the playground gate where a woman was basking in the sun whilst a blond boy of around Charlie’s age sat with a football at his feet. He immediately brightened when he saw his friend.

‘Hey, Charlie. Hey, Ellie,’ he said.

The woman opened her eyes and lifted her sunglasses to peer up at them. She jumped up when she saw Cat. ‘Oh hi! You must be Cat. Lovely to meet you,’ she said holding out her hand. ‘I’m Claire.’

Cat smiled and shook her hand. The woman was small and casually dressed in cut-off jeans and a slouchy T-shirt bearing the words ‘I love happy endings’. She wore her brown hair in a loose bun and her skin was freckled from time spent in the sun. She had a friendly warmth about her that Cat liked immediately. ‘Where’s Izzy?’ asked Ellie, standing close to Claire.

‘Oh hey, Ellie-wellie.’ Claire smiled, wrapping an arm around the small girl and tickling her. Cat noticed the easy affection between them and was surprised to feel a little envious. ‘She’s over on the climbing frame. Do you want to go and find her?’ Ellie nodded and ran off. ‘But stay where we can see you,’ called Claire. She turned back to Cat. ‘Can I get you a coffee? It’s actually okay despite being made by a machine.’

Cat was more used to single-estate freshly roasted coffee but felt she should be sociable. ‘That would be lovely, thank you.’ She smiled.

‘Will you stay here with the bags while I go and get them?’

‘Sure.’ Cat felt the sun on her face and had to admit that today could turn out fine. Claire seemed lovely and the children were happy with their friends. She took out her phone to check her e-mails. She had sent a message to Jesse earlier about meeting up to discuss their plans. No reply as yet but if she knew Jesse, he probably wouldn’t get to his e-mails before lunchtime. She was just checking Twitter when Claire returned with their drinks.

‘Here you go. Oh are you on Twitter?’

‘Thanks,’ said Cat taking her coffee. ‘Yes, I use it a lot for work. It’s great.’

Claire smiled. ‘I’ve never really go into all that. Don’t have the time with the kids to be honest.’

‘I can imagine,’ said Cat. ‘Four kids must keep you busy.’

Claire looked surprised. ‘No, I’ve only got Izzy and James. That’s quite enough for me!’

‘But what about…’ Cat wracked her brains for the names ‘…Daisy and Finn?’

Claire laughed. ‘They’re not kids, well Daisy is but Finn’s her uncle. He looks after her. They’re coming along today but Finn’s always late.’

‘Oh I see,’ said Cat, feeling wrong-footed.

Claire grinned at her. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll love Finn. All the mums do. To be honest, if I wasn’t married I’d be very tempted.’ She gave Cat a sly look. ‘Are you single by any chance?’

Cat gave a little cough. ‘Yes but – ’

‘Ladies? Sorry I’m late. What have I missed?’

Claire gave Cat a nudge as they both looked up into the grinning face of a scruffy man with a mess of hair and an unkempt beard. ‘This,’ she said with grin, ‘is Finn.’

For the second time that day, Cat experienced an acute sense of déjà vu as she shook Finn’s hand and was struck by how cool his touch was. ‘Hey,’ he said, regarding her with a smile. ‘I think we may have met before. Did you ever get that snot off your jeans?’

Cat looked into his pale blue eyes, which were glittering with amusement, and an unwelcome recollection came to mind. He was the show-off who had appeared to sit in judgement of her at Ellie’s birthday party – the one who was happy to sit on the filthy floor with a group of small children and expected everyone else to want to join in. He had that all-knowing air of someone who thought that everyone else had missed the point. Cat found it highly irritating now as she had done then.

Claire laughed. ‘Oh you two already know each other, do you? Well then, that’s a good start.’ She winked at Cat.

‘We only met briefly at Ellie’s birthday party,’ said Cat with a cursory smile.

Finn clutched his heart as if he’d been shot. ‘Oh wow. Talk about dashing a guy’s hopes. And there was me thinking we had something.’ He gave Claire a mischievous grin. She giggled like a schoolgirl and Cat bristled with annoyance. She could see how this man would provide a pleasant diversion in the life of a stay-at-home mother – a little bit of banter and low-level flirting – but really, she found his smug confidence plain annoying. He was like the cock in a farmyard full of hens and for Cat the emphasis really was on the word ‘cock’.

‘I need a wee,’ said Ellie, wriggling her way over to Cat.

‘Me too,’ said Izzy brightly.

‘And me,’ said Daisy.

Cat was almost grateful to be given the opportunity to leave Finn’s company but it was Claire who leapt up. ‘I’ll go,’ she said. ‘You two stay and chat.’ She emphasised the last word with a nod and a raised eyebrow.

Cat kept her eyes fixed forwards to where Charlie and James were playing football. She noticed Finn glance over at her but didn’t feel the need to make eye contact. She would be having words with Andrew. Cat knew how his mind worked and she could bet he’d had an idea to do a little casual matchmaking whilst she looked after his kids. Why did the world have to pair all the single people off? Why couldn’t it mind its own bloody business? She felt her phone buzz with a call and gratefully extracted it from her handbag. She smiled as she saw the caller ID. She made an ‘excuse me’ face to Finn, who gave her a casual nod in reply.

‘Hi, Jesse,’ she answered.

‘Hey, Kit Kat. How are you?’

‘Itching to get back to work to be honest.’

‘Yeah, of course. I understand and we miss you a lot. Listen, I don’t really want to talk about it over the phone. Can you come to dinner tomorrow night?’

‘I’d love to.’ Cat smiled. Tomorrow was Friday night and she would officially be off duty. She longed to see Jesse too. She missed seeing him every day.

‘Great. Can you come to the house say around eight-ish? I think Alex is going out so we’ll be able to talk properly.’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Cool. Can’t wait to see you, Kit Kat.’

‘Me too,’ she said. ‘Bye.’ She finished the call and turned back to Finn. ‘Sorry about that. I had to speak to my boss.’

‘That was your boss?’ said Finn surprised. ‘I thought it was your boyfriend.’

‘No-o,’ said Cat quickly. ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’

Finn raised one eyebrow. ‘But you’d like him to be?’

Cat regarded him with a frown. ‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that I’d ordered a psychologist.’

Finn grinned. ‘Apologies. I do that sometimes. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool.’

Cat folded her arms and studied her phone. ‘I do not want to talk about it.’ She flicked to her Twitter feed and started to read.

‘So Andrew told me you work in PR but that you’re taking a little break,’ said Finn.

Cat looked at him, expecting more judgement, but the question appeared to be genuine. ‘I made a mistake.’

‘We all make mistakes,’ said Finn. ‘What did you do?’

‘I was involved in the Diaz launch,’ she said, glancing up at him ready for a reaction. Finn looked blank. ‘You know, Alvarro Diaz? The footballer?’

‘Of course,’ said Finn. ‘He’s one of the best attacking midfielders in the world.’

‘If you say so. Well you know that coffee company launch that went spectacularly wrong?’

Finn was squinting at her now. ‘No.’

Cat was amazed. ‘How could you not know about that?’

Finn shrugged. ‘I like football but I don’t really care what the footballers get up to. Was it bad?’

‘It was very bad,’ said Cat. ‘And I had to step down from my job but hopefully not for long.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ said Finn.

Cat could tell that he meant it and decided to be civil. ‘So you look after your niece, do you?’ She couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice.

‘Do you find that hard to believe?’

‘Well I suppose it’s unusual.’

‘I love it,’ he replied. ‘It helps out my sister, Ronnie, while she’s at work and I get to have all the fun.’

‘Good for you,’ said Cat. ‘I love my job too.’

‘And what about this temporary arrangement?’

Cat gave a little cough. ‘It’s proving to be an education.’

Finn laughed. ‘You’ve just got to relax and go with it.’

Cat was irritated by the insinuation that she wasn’t able to do this but their conversation was interrupted by the return of Claire and the girls.

‘Turned out to be a bit more of a lengthy visit than I’d hoped,’ she said cheerfully. ‘How about we find somewhere for a picnic, maybe on the patch of green outside the playground?’

‘Yay, picnic!’ cried Ellie.

Cat went to grab the picnic bag but Finn got there first. ‘Allow me,’ he said with a smile, walking towards the gate. ‘Boys! Food time!’ he cried. Cat noticed with secret envy how Charlie and James nodded and followed without argument.

Claire nudged Cat as they walked behind. ‘So-o, what do you think? He’s gorgeous, isn’t he?’

Cat didn’t want to get into a debate about the relative merits of this man. ‘Absolutely,’ she said flashing her best PR smile.

They spread two large picnic blankets under a large oak tree and the adults started to unpack the food. Cat opened the bag Andrew had prepared and peered at the sandwich fillings.

‘I think there’s tuna or cheese,’ she said to the children.

‘Isn’t there any ham?’ asked Charlie.

Cat could see this was another test and she wasn’t really in the mood. ‘No. There’s cheese or tuna,’ she said firmly.

‘Swap you,’ said Finn, holding out his sandwich to Charlie and smiling at Cat.

‘It’s okay, Finn,’ said Charlie, his neck flushing pink.

‘Seriously, mate. I’d rather have cheese.’

‘Are you sure?’ asked Charlie.

‘Yep. Here you go.’

‘Thanks,’ said Charlie.

Cat should have probably been grateful for this intervention but in truth she found it annoying. She ate her own sandwich in silence whilst Claire and Finn chatted. Ellie and her friends munched happily on their sandwiches. When she had finished, Ellie came and sat very close to Finn.

‘Hey, Miss Ellie. I haven’t had a chance to talk to you today. How’s tricks?’

‘Tricks are fine, thank you, Finn. Do you like my Auntie Cat?’

Finn glanced up at Cat, his eyes sparkling with amusement. ‘Well I don’t know. What do you think?’

Ellie thought for a moment. ‘She’s actually okay. She took us to a really nice restaurant yesterday but I was sick.’

‘Oh that’s a shame.’

‘Yes it was. Do you think you might want to marry my Auntie Cat?’

Cat nearly choked on the remainder of her sandwich and Finn laughed. ‘I think it’s too soon to say but probably.’

Claire grinned at Cat. ‘Good for you, girl.’

‘I’m glad my future is all sorted then,’ said Cat shaking her head.

‘You should be. I’m quite a catch,’ joked Finn.

After lunch, Cat went to buy more coffee and ice-creams for the children. When she returned, she noticed that Finn had joined the boys in a game of football. He had also picked up her beloved Kelly bag to mark the goals. ‘We needed some goalposts,’ he said with a grin. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’

It was said as a challenge. Charlie was watching her with scowling expectation. She couldn’t refuse. ‘Okay,’ she said. Never mind about marrying him, she was starting to hate this man.

They ate their ice-creams quickly and went back to the game. The girls had picked handfuls of daisies and were attempting to make daisy-chain bracelets. It made Cat falter for a second as she remembered making them as a child; why did every innocent activity she undertook with the kids bring back a forgotten memory? She sat a little distance away and watched as Claire showed them how to thread one stem through another. Cat closed her eyes and let the sun wash over her for a moment. She felt someone standing quite close to her and opened her eyes to see Ellie’s friend Daisy holding out a neat little bracelet of flowers. Cat hesitated for a second, so the little girl shoved it under her nose.

‘I made it for you,’ she said seriously. ‘You looked sad and I thought you would like it.’

Cat was amazed and touched. ‘Thank you, Daisy. That’s very sweet of you.’

‘I made you one too,’ said Ellie, pushing her way forwards.