Life Or Something Like It

‘Hey, Kit Kat, how are you doing?’ He glanced at Ellie. ‘Wow, the interns are getting younger and younger.’

Cat smiled. ‘This is my brother’s daughter, Ellie. He had a crisis and you know how I love a crisis.’

Jesse laughed. ‘Rather you than me. Hello, little lady.’

Ellie frowned at him. ‘Hello, big man.’

He smiled and turned back to Cat. ‘So what about tonight’s dinner?’

‘Dan’s going. I’ve briefed him fully and he’s going to call me if there are any problems.’

‘Are you sure he can handle it? I would go but it’s Alex’s birthday and we’ve got reservations at Nobu.’

‘Who’s Alex? Is she your daughter?’ asked Ellie nosily. ‘What kind of cake is she having? I had a Frozen one for my last birthday. I love Frozen.’

Cat ignored her niece. ‘It will be fine. Dan is our resident football expert and he speaks Spanish so he’s just the man to look after Alvarro.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Trust me, the dinner is due to finish at ten and Alvarro will be tucked up in his hotel by eleven so that he’s all fresh and ready for the launch tomorrow.’ Unimpressed by being ignored, Ellie had decided to make her own fun and was currently experimenting with the water cooler. ‘Ellie, what are you doing?’ cried Cat as water seeped slowly across the kitchen floor.

Ellie took a step to one side and put down the cup. ‘Somebody spilt that,’ she said innocently.

‘I’ll leave you to it,’ said Jesse.

Cat grabbed handfuls of paper towels in a bid to soak up the mess. Ellie watched her with interest. ‘Can I have that biscuit now, please?’

Exasperated, Cat found the biscuit tin. ‘Just take it!’ she said.

Ellie eyed her suspiciously. ‘There’s no need to be so cross,’ she said, taking the tin and leaving the kitchen. ‘It was just an accident.’

Cat took a deep breath and did her best to clear up the mess. She made a strong pot of coffee and carried it back to her office. Charlie was exactly where she had left him, shoulders hunched, eyes glazed as he played his game. Ellie, on the other hand, had made herself comfortable at Cat’s desk and was talking to someone on the phone.

‘Ellie, give me the phone now!’ cried Cat in a panic.

Ellie looked up in surprise and passed the phone without a word. She skulked back to her seat and began unhappily shovelling biscuits into her mouth.

‘Hello?’ said Cat into the phone.

‘Cat? It’s Will. What the hell is going on? Was that a child answering your phone?’

Cat’s stomach sank. ‘Sorry, Will, it was just my niece and – ’

‘I don’t want to hear it, Cat. I was phoning to check we’re okay for tonight and tomorrow.’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Are you sure? Because I’m starting to get concerned.’

‘You don’t need to worry. Everything is under control.’

‘All right. See you tomorrow.’

Cat hung up before turning to Ellie. ‘Don’t ever touch my phone again,’ she snapped. Ellie’s lip began to wobble. Cat panicked. ‘Now don’t cry, Ellie. You don’t need to cry.’

But it was too late. Ellie’s body trembled and tears coursed down her face. Cat watched helplessly as Charlie put down his game and went over to comfort his sister. He glared at his aunt. ‘You don’t have to be such a mean cow. She’s just a little girl. She’s a bit naughty sometimes but only because she wants attention.’

Cat was stung by his words. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just that I have to work, you see?’ she said pathetically.

Charlie shrugged. ‘Whatever. Come on, Ellie, I’ll play a game with you,’ he said.

Cat felt wretched as she returned to her desk. The children were occupied now with a drawing game. She noticed that Charlie occasionally whispered comments to Ellie and they would glance up at Cat and giggle. It made her feel uncomfortable and even though they were quiet she found it increasingly difficult to concentrate.

‘How do you ever get anything done?’ she wailed to her brother when he phoned later that evening.

Andrew gave a wry chuckle. ‘Welcome to my world, dearest sister. Did you remember to feed them? They’re evil when they’re hungry.’

‘I ordered takeaway pizza,’ admitted Cat.

‘I bet that won you some brownie points.’

‘Hmmm.’ In fact, the children had been quiet and sullen. They seemed to retreat into their own little world after the incident at the office and it was clear that Cat wasn’t welcome.

‘Well obviously bedtime wasn’t a problem. Clearly you’re a natural,’ offered Andrew with cheerful encouragement.

Cat gave a hollow laugh. In fact Charlie had overseen the bedtime routine, making sure his sister cleaned her teeth properly and tucking her in after she insisted that he do it. He had played on his iPad for a short while before taking himself off to bed.

‘Night then,’ Cat had ventured, receiving a barely audible grunt in reply. She had poured herself a large glass of wine as a reward and carried it into the living room. Noticing the contents of Ellie’s rucksack strewn across her normally pristine lounge floor, she had reached down to repack them. She picked up one of Ellie’s drawings of a very tall lady with ears like a cat and the label ‘Cross Aunty Cat’, to which Charlie had added the words ‘smells of poo’. Her immediate reaction had been one of hurt and then she felt ridiculous. Her thoughts had been interrupted by Andrew’s phone call.

‘“Natural” isn’t exactly the word I would use,’ said Cat. ‘Just make sure you don’t have any more last-minute business trips while Melissa’s away.’

‘I’ll do my best,’ laughed Andrew.

‘Right well I need to go and do the work I couldn’t finish because of your children,’ she joked.

‘Yes, ma’am,’ replied Andrew. ‘And thanks again – you saved my life.’

Cat hung up and flicked her phone to her social media channels, noting several texts from Dan reporting that all was well at the dinner. As Cat spent the next hour catching up on everything that had happened in the last few hours, she became aware of a new and unusual sensation. It all felt like a bit of an effort and she realised that she was tired and distracted by the presence of the children. She felt disconcerted by her inability to focus on her job while they were around, as if her brain were in two places at the same time. She shook it off as something temporary and carried on working, knowing that she would be dissatisfied if she didn’t. In Cat’s mind, today’s episode only served to vindicate her decision to remain single and child-free. Her life was ordered and organised and even though she was happy to help her brother, she couldn’t wait for the moment when they’d be gone and she could return to normal.

Tiredness got the better of her and she fell asleep. She was woken at midnight by the sound of her phone ringing. It was Jesse. She immediately knew that something was wrong.

‘Cat, we’ve got a serious problem.’

‘What’s up?’

‘Alvarro’s gone AWOL. The pictures are all over the internet. I’ve just had the CEO of Daily Grind on the phone. They’re cancelling the launch.’

‘Shit. What’s he done?’

‘Apart from being photographed snorting cocaine with a prostitute and getting into a fight?’

‘Oh God. Where was Dan when this was going on?’

‘Oh he’s in the pictures too. So much for trusting him to take care of things. We’re finished, Cat. Completely finished.’

Chapter Three

Cat opened her eyes and as the reality of the last twenty-four hours hit her, she closed them again. She could hear her phone’s murmuring buzz from the drawer where she had tossed it last night. She never put her phone on silent and she never shut it away but she had broken both habits since the events of Wednesday. However, these particular changes were the least of her worries. She had effectively lost everything: her job, her reputation, her life as it had been up to that point.

The fallout had been immediate and severe. She hadn’t even gone into the office; Hemingway Media was under siege. There were members of the press at the front door trying to talk to anyone who entered and the phone was ringing off the hook. Every journalist loves a cock-up and this particular cock-up was gold dust because it contained the nation’s top-three scandal ingredients: an overpaid footballer, a prostitute and drugs.

Of course, in the social media arena of damning judgement, someone had to be blamed and, naturally, it wasn’t going to be the superstar footballer. True, he had lost his sponsorship deal with Daily Grind but his agent, Will, had already hired another PR firm to deal with damage limitation. Alvarro was sorry – he apologised to the fans, his club; he was stupid and young and didn’t know what he was doing; he was photographed looking contrite next to his stern-faced mother; she became an immediate internet star and he was in the clear. He was still a brilliant footballer with a bright future ahead of him. He promised to go into rehab and sort out his problems.

For Cat, the future was decidedly murky. Ironically, she had met with Jesse at the branch of Daily Grind round the corner from their office. He was grim-faced. Daily Grind were threatening to sue for loss of income and Alvarro’s agent, Will, had already put in a call to Hemingway Media’s American backers, demanding his pound of flesh. Cat had been in PR long enough to know how these things worked but she still nurtured a secret hope that Jesse might have a solution.

‘What did Donald say?’ asked Cat, trying to keep her voice calm. Donald Carter was the CEO of Greenwich Media who had a sixty per cent stake in Hemingway. Cat had only met him once and remembered his vice-like handshake and disturbingly hairy knuckles. He had a tough reputation and five ex-wives.

‘Well, he sort of bellowed and I sort of listened with the phone at quite a distance from my ear,’ admitted Jesse.

‘I’m sorry, Jesse,’ said Cat quietly. ‘This is all my fault.’

Jesse noticed her worried face and reached out his hand. ‘No no, Kit Kat. I don’t think you could have changed anything even if you’d been there.’

‘I could have taken Alvarro back to his hotel and chained him to the bed,’ asserted Cat.

‘To be honest, I think he would have enjoyed that,’ observed Jesse, raising one eyebrow suggestively.

Cat gave him a weak smile. ‘I’m guessing Donald wants a scalp,’ sighed Cat, staring at her hands. ‘I’ll step down.’

‘I can’t ask you to do that,’ said Jesse quietly.

Cat shrugged. ‘I know Dan being fired won’t be enough for Donald or Will and I should have been there.’ She felt tears prick her eyes and brushed them away angrily. Cat Nightingale did not cry.

‘Hey,’ said Jesse taking hold of her hands. ‘It’s okay, Kit Kat. What do we always say? Shit happens and we turn up with a shovel and chuck it over next door’s fence. This will be old news soon.’

She nodded and he took hold of her hands and looked into her eyes. ‘I’m going to tell Donald that you’ve stepped down but only temporarily. It will show him that we’re taking a stand but he knows how good you are. He’s no fool. He won’t want to lose someone with your reputation to the competition so we’ll call it a temporary suspension. On full pay, of course.’

Suspended on full pay. Cat felt sick at the thought. ‘Do you think he’ll agree to it?’

Jesse put a hand on his heart. ‘Trust me, I’ll make him agree.’ He was full of confidence. Cat had no choice but to believe him. He’d never let her down before.

As they said goodbye, he kissed her on the cheek and hugged her. It wasn’t a PR affectation but an affectionate embrace. She held on to him for a moment, taking comfort from his warmth. After he left, she looked around at the busy, buzzing coffee shop – the people moving with purpose through their lives. She felt the panic rise up. Cat was never idle; she was always busy. She quickly gathered her things and hurried to the Tube; got to keep moving, don’t stop to think about it.

For the rest of the day, she was glued to her iPad. Social media had underpinned her existence for so long, she didn’t know what else to do. Of course every newsfeed was taken over by Alvarro but only the PR insiders knew of her involvement in the debacle. She tried to skirt around it, to join in tweet-chats with her usual PR clique but it soon became clear that she had been frozen out as they either gave cursory replies or failed to respond. Only Ava sent her a Direct Message later that afternoon.

Ava Jackson @avamwah Just Now

Hey sweetie, tough deal. Drinks soon? Ax

This was typical Ava and Cat was grateful; it was a crumb of comfort in an otherwise shit day. Her phone rang continuously, mostly journalists wanting a comment. She ignored them, tiring quickly of its incessant buzzing. She knew she was in trouble when by eight o’clock that evening she had shut her phone in a drawer, was lying on her bed in her pyjamas, nursing her third glass of wine and watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking loudly on her front door. She considered pulling the duvet over her head and hiding under the covers but the sight of the empty wine bottle on the bedside cabinet gave her a much-needed reality check. Cat was not about to fall apart. She had to pull herself together. The events of yesterday were a mere blip and she would not wallow in self-pity or drink herself into a stupor. The knocking grew louder and more persistent, so she threw on her dressing gown, smoothed her hair and prayed that her breath smelt better than it tasted. She was surprised but not disappointed to find Andrew peering through the glass in the front door, a worried frown on his face. She opened the door.

‘Don’t say a word about my appearance,’ she warned as she stood back to let him in.

‘I’m a bloke. We don’t notice stuff like that. Mind you, you do look like shit,’ he joked.

‘Thank you. Blame Alvarro Diaz.’

‘Want me to go and kick him in the ankles?’ asked Andrew, his eyes twinkling. ‘Because no-one messes with my big sis.’

Cat laughed in spite of herself. ‘Would it help?’

‘Probably not but the offer’s there and I do feel partly to blame.’

‘So you should,’ joked Cat. ‘Don’t worry about it. It was going to happen regardless. Anyway, where are your children? Have you sold them into slavery?’

‘Tempting but no. They’re at a friend’s.’

‘Oh well it’s nice that you came to check on your sister.’

‘Actually I have an ulterior motive,’ admitted Andrew.

‘Just as long as you don’t want me to look after your children during my “career break”,’ said Cat making air quotes.

Andrew bit his lip and tried not to make eye contact with his sister. Cat stared at him in horror. ‘Was that the real reason you came to see me?’

Andrew pretended to be offended. ‘No-o. I wanted to check you were okay but I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t occurred to me.’

‘Well you can banish that thought right now.’

‘Why?’

‘Do I need to spell it out? Your children don’t like me and I don’t have the first clue how to look after kids. Do you really want to risk leaving them with me?’

‘Yes.’ Cat shook her head in exasperation as Andrew continued. ‘I think it would be good for all of you. It’s about time my children got to know their aunt and I think it would be good for you too.’

‘What do you mean?’

Andrew was silent for a moment as if choosing his words carefully. ‘Well it’s not as if you’ve got a lot on at the moment and it would really help me out.’

‘Oh no, don’t start that tugging at my heartstrings. You’ll be dragging Bear out and asking me to sing you to sleep next.’

‘I’ve got him in the car actually.’ Andrew grinned. ‘Seriously, Cat, where’s the harm? You’ll be helping me out and you might even enjoy it.’

‘I wouldn’t say that our sleepover was a resounding success.’

‘But that was only one night and it was all very last-minute. You were stressed with work and the kids were wound-up and tired. This will be different.’

Cat stared at the ceiling. He’d got her. She was at a loose end and her brother needed her; there was nothing she could do.

‘Fine,’ she said, getting up from her chair. ‘I’ll go and dig out my body armour now.’

Andrew grinned. ‘Don’t forget your helmet and shield,’ he joked, receiving a punch on the arm as Cat walked past. ‘Ow and thank you,’ he added.

‘Whatever,’ said Cat, climbing the stairs. ‘On your head be it when it all goes pear-shaped.’

‘It won’t.’ Andrew smiled. ‘I have great faith in you.

‘I’m glad someone does,’ muttered Cat.

Three hours later Cat was feeling more positive about the world. Her brother was cooking dinner and the children were occupied with various electronic devices whilst she remained glued to her iPad. Jesse had been right; the Alvarro story was starting to slide away and her phone hadn’t rung in the past hour. One of Cat’s strongest qualities was her resourcefulness and she could feel a plan emerging in her mind. She would look after the children until Melissa came back and use that time to maintain her contacts and ease her way back into the PR world. It was a very immediate world with a short memory and Cat had enough credibility to ride this storm. Everything would be fine; she just needed to be patient.

Charlie and Ellie had taken the news that Cat was to be their new nanny with relative indifference. Cat also had a plan in that regard. She would show the children the best summer, take them to the most fabulous places, let them experience a little of what her world had to offer. It would be educational and fun. She counted her blessings that she didn’t need to deal with nappies or toddler tantrums too. The children were bright and Cat would work on them and make them see what a good aunt she was. After all, she had dealt with some of the trickiest divas and most demanding celebrities in the past. She just needed to channel what she knew and apply it to the world of the child. How difficult could it be?

At dinner time, her question was answered. Having been told to stop playing his game, Charlie sloped into the dining room, his face clouded with irritation. He frowned at his plate.

‘I don’t like salmon,’ he said.

‘Well it’s what we’re having,’ said Andrew cheerfully, ‘so you better eat up.’

‘I don’t like it,’ repeated Charlie, scowling at his father.

‘Charlie, you eat salmon all the time.’

‘I like it,’ said Ellie brightly.

‘Shut up, squirt,’ snapped Charlie.

‘Charlie, stop this,’ warned Andrew. ‘You’ll scare Auntie Cat away.’ He was trying to keep his voice light but Cat detected a tightness to his tone.

‘Good,’ said Charlie. ‘I don’t want her here. Why can’t you take time off?’

Andrew glanced at his sister, embarrassed. ‘I can’t and Cat doesn’t have to work at the moment so she’s offered to help.’

‘She lost her job because of that stupid footballer and you asked her. She didn’t offer.’

Andrew shifted in his seat. ‘She is doing us all a favour and you are being very rude. I want you to apologise.’

‘No,’ said Charlie, staring defiantly at his father.

‘Charlie, I’m warning you. Apologise or you’ll go to bed.’

Charlie jumped up from his seat and upended his plate, scattering fish, potato and sweetcorn all over the table and floor. ‘Fine!’ he shouted, storming from the room and stomping up the stairs before slamming his bedroom door with some force.

‘Awkward,’ said Ellie, forking sweetcorn into her mouth.

Cat stared at her brother. ‘He’ll be fine. He’s just having a moment,’ reassured Andrew. They could hear Charlie shouting and screaming and throwing things around his room.

‘That’s quite a moment,’ murmured Cat.

‘When’s Mummy coming home?’ asked Ellie, jiggling backwards and forwards on her chair, seemingly oblivious to her brother’s outburst.

Andrew, who was looking up towards the noise, glanced back at his daughter. ‘I don’t know, Ellie,’ he said.

‘I hope it’s soon,’ said Ellie, casting a meaningful look at Cat.

Andrew sighed. ‘I better go and talk to Charlie. Excuse me.’ He disappeared upstairs leaving Cat and Ellie alone.

‘Charlie does that a lot,’ observed Ellie.

‘Does what?’ asked Cat.

‘Shouts and screams.’ She leant forwards and whispered to her aunt, ‘I think he’s got anger issues. That’s what I heard Mummy and Daddy say anyway.’

‘Oh. Right,’ said Cat, unnerved.

‘I don’t really like you,’ observed Ellie.

Cat was almost impressed by her honesty. ‘Well I’m sorry to hear that. I suppose we’re stuck with each other at the moment though.’

Ellie sighed. ‘I suppose we are but hopefully it won’t be for too long.’

Wow, thought Cat, talk about telling it like it is.

Andrew reappeared a moment later. ‘Everything all right down here? My, Ellie, you’ve done well. Would you like some pudding?’

‘Yes please, Daddy,’ replied Ellie angelically. ‘Is Charlie okay?’

Cat could tell that Andrew was choosing his words carefully. ‘He’s very tired so he’s gone to bed. I’m sure he’ll be all right in the morning.’

After Ellie had gone to bed, Andrew poured two glasses of wine and they carried them out into the garden. It was a warm evening, the sun casting a beautiful pale pink colour over the sky. Cat looked at her brother in the fading light. He still looked like her little brother, eyes bright like a puppy, but his youthful exuberance had been replaced by the stresses of life. He looked worn down.

‘Tell me the truth about Charlie,’ she said.

He looked up at the sky and sighed. ‘The truth is I don’t know. We had a few problems with some boys at school but that was ages ago and it all got sorted.’

‘Have you tried talking to him?’ asked Cat.

‘Of course but have you tried talking to a ten-year-old? They’re not exactly chatty, nor are they in the habit of telling you what they’re feeling.’

Cat took a sip of her wine. ‘Ellie told me that she didn’t like me.’

Andrew gave a snorting laugh. ‘She tells it like it is, that one. Reminds me of someone else I know,’ he said, glancing at his sister.

Cat pulled a face. ‘It’s not funny. Basically you’re leaving me with two small people who hate me, one of whom has anger issues.’

‘I thought Cat Nightingale liked a challenge.’

Cat raised her eyebrows. ‘A challenge yes, not an impossible task.’

Andrew looked incredulous. ‘Surely my big sister isn’t giving up?’ he teased.

She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘I’m here, aren’t I?’

He raised his glass. ‘Well I would like to propose a toast to my sister’s inevitable success in the quest to get my children to like her.’

Cat shook her head and tapped her glass against his. ‘As I said, this was your idea and if it all goes pear-shaped, it’s down to you.’

Andrew looked satisfied. ‘It won’t,’ he declared. ‘In fact, I’d go as far as to say that it will be the making of you.’

Cat looked at him askance. ‘Who says I need to be “made”?’

Andrew shrugged. ‘Just that spending time with kids opens up your world a bit.’

‘Are you saying that my world is closed?’ She was irritated but doing her best not to betray it.

He nudged her playfully. ‘Oi, don’t get mardy. I’m merely pointing out that when everything is work, work, work, you can get a bit blinkered.’

‘And I suppose you’re a man of the world just because you have children?’

He laughed. ‘Hey, Lady PR, get down off your high horse. If I’m a man of the world then I’m a very tired one. All I’m saying is that kids make you re-evaluate your life. They force you to see things differently by dint of the fact that they need you.’

Cat sniffed. ‘So I am to be educated about the world by some small needy people.’

‘If you like,’ said Andrew with a grin. ‘We’ll see, won’t we?’

Cat frowned. She had forgotten how infuriating Andrew could be. He thought he knew better than her because he’d managed to reproduce smaller versions of himself. Like so many people with children, he thought he’d found the key to life but Cat knew which world suited her. This was a temporary arrangement – a mere blip in her life before she went back to what she loved best. ‘Yes,’ she said, taking another sip of her wine. ‘We will see.’