Craved

Scarlet was aghast. She had never felt more embarrassed. She deleted the comment from her wall, blocked Vivian, then went to her settings and changed them so that only her friends could post. But it was barely a drop in the bucket – clearly, the damage had already been done. Now the whole school thought that she was stealing other people’s boyfriends. And that she was dumped.

Her face turned red. She was so mad, she wanted to reach out and strangle Vivian. She didn’t know what to do.

She slammed down her laptop, and burst out of her room. She tore down the steps, not knowing where to go or what to do. All she knew was that she needed air.

“Come on Ruth,” she said.

She grabbed her leash and Ruth jumped excitedly, following her out the door and down the porch steps.

Scarlet ran down the steps, looking at her feet, and it wasn’t until she was out on the sidewalk that she looked up, and saw him, standing there.

She stopped cold.

He stood there, staring back at her, as if he was waiting.

It was the new boy.

Sage.

Chapter Three

Scarlet stood there, at the end of her walkway, staring. She could hardly believe it. There, standing on the sidewalk, just a few feet away, staring back with his intense grey eyes, was the new boy. Sage.

What was he doing here, in front of her house? How long had he been standing here? Had he been watching her house? Had he been about to head up her walkway? Or had he just been passing by?

But passing by where? She lived on a quiet suburban street, and hardly anyone ever walked around here. Then again, she was only two blocks to town, and conceivably, he could be heading somewhere. But that was unlikely.

The thought of him standing there, watching her house, or about to walk up, freaked her out. On the other hand, she couldn’t deny that she was excited to see him. Excited wasn’t the right word. It was more like… transfixed. She could not take her eyes off of him. His smooth skin, his strong jaw, his proud cheekbones and nose, his gray eyes, long eyelashes – she had never met anyone remotely like him. So noble, so proud. He seemed so out of place here, like he’d dropped down out of a sixteenth-century palace.

She also couldn’t help noticing that she felt butterflies in her stomach when she looked at him. And it was a feeling she did not want to have. After all, Maria, her best friend, had made it clear that she was obsessed with him. How wrong would it be for Scarlet to take him away? Maria would never forgive her. And she would never forgive herself. Besides, she had Blake. Or did she?

She thought again of Vivian’s post, about Blake dumping her. Had Blake really told her that? Or had Vivian made it up? Either way, she felt pretty sure that Blake was gone from her life for good.

“Um… hi,” she said, not knowing what else to say. After all, they had never even been introduced.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said back.

She loved his voice. It was soft, gentle, yet powerful the same time. He was soft-spoken, yet there were something authoritative in his tone. She could listen to that voice forever.

“I’m Sage,” he said, extending a hand.

“I know,” she said, as she reached out and took it.

The touch of his skin was electrifying. It sent a thrill up her harm, as he held her freezing hand in his warm one.

“Small town,” she added, by way of explanation, but then felt embarrassed. That was stupid of her; she shouldn’t have admitted she knew his name. It made her seem desperate.

But wait, she thought. Why was she even thinking this way? After all, he was Maria’s man. Wasn’t he?

“Your hand is so cold,” he said, as he looked down at her palm.

Scarlet withdrew it, self-conscious.

“Sorry,” she said, shrugging.

“You didn’t tell me your name,” he said.

“Oh, sorry, I just figured you knew it,” she said, then added, “not that I’m famous or popular anything. It’s just… well, small town, you know?”

She was already stumbling, making things worse with each sentence. She always did this when she got nervous in front of guys.

“Anyway, my name is Scarlet. Scarlet Paine.”

He smiled.

“Scarlet,” he echoed.

She loved the sound of her name in his voice.

“The color of many things. Wine, or blood, or roses. Of course, I prefer the latter,” he added with a smile.

Scarlet smiled back. Who talked like this? she wondered. It was as if he were from another time, another place. She was dying to know more about him.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, then figured that sounded too harsh. “Not to be rude or anything. But I mean like, what are you doing in front of my house?”

He momentarily looked flustered.

“Yes,” he said. “Peculiar timing, isn’t it? I was just in town, and thought I’d do a bit of exploring. I’m new here, and thought I would see where these roads lead. I had no idea they led to you.”

Scarlet felt better. At least he wasn’t stalking her house or anything.

“Well, there’s not much to see. This town is only a few blocks in each direction. A few more blocks that way, and it’s done.”

He smiled. “Yes. I was beginning to see that myself.”

Suddenly, Ruth ran up to him and jumped up and licked his hand.

“Don’t jump,” Scarlet chided.

“It’s okay,” he said.

He knelt down, and petted Ruth gently, stroking her mane with his palm, scratching behind her ears. Ruth leaned in and licked him on the cheek. She started whining and Scarlet could tell that she really liked him. She was shocked. Ruth was always so protective of her, and she’d never seen her take to a stranger like this.

“What a beautiful animal. Aren’t you, Ruth?” he said.

Ruth leaned up and licked him again, and he kissed her on the nose.

Scarlet was stunned.

“How did you know her name was Ruth?”

He suddenly stood, caught off guard.

“Um… I read it. On her neck tag.”

“But the tag is faded,” she said. “I mean, I can barely read it.”

He shrugged, smiled.

“They always told me I had good vision,” he said.

But Scarlet was not convinced. The tag was faded down to almost nothing, and she couldn’t possibly see how he could have read it. It freaked her out. How did he know her name?

Yet, at the same time, she felt comfortable being around him. And given the state she was in, she liked having company. She didn’t want him to go. But at the same time, she thought of Maria, and how upset she would be if she drove by and saw her standing here with him. She would be so jealous. She would probably hate her for life.

“You’re quite the mystery around here,” Scarlet said. “The new kid. No one really knows much about you. But a lot of people are dying to.”

“Are they?” he shrugged.

Scarlet waited, but he didn’t offer anything more.

“So… like… what’s your story?” she asked.

“I guess everyone has one, don’t they?” he asked.

He turned and looked off at the horizon, as if debating whether to tell her.

“I guess mine is boring,” he said. “My family… recently relocated here. So here I am, finishing out my final year.”

“I heard you had like… a sister?”

A smile formed at the corner of his mouth.

“Word gets around here, doesn’t it?” he asked with a grin.

Scarlet blushed. “Sorry,” she said.

“Yes, I do have one,” he answered, but didn’t offer any more.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to pry,” she said.

He looked at her, and as she looked up her eyes locked with his – and for a moment, she felt her world beginning to melt. For the first time that day, all her worries drifted far from her mind. She felt transported.

She wanted to stop staring, to put her feelings in check, wanted to summon thoughts of Maria and force herself to push him out of her mind. But she couldn’t. She was frozen.

“I’m flattered that you did,” he said.

He continued staring, then after a moment, he added, “Would you like to take a walk with me?”

Her heart started to pound. She did want to walk with him. She wanted that more than anything in the world. But a part of her was scared. She was still reeling from her time with Blake. She still didn’t trust herself, her own feelings, her body, her reactions. And she was scared to betray her best friend – even if, in reality, Maria had no claim on Sage. Most of all, she didn’t trust herself. Whatever had happened between her and Blake, that impulse to feed, might still be there. As much as she wanted to know more, she felt the need to protect him.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t.”

She saw disappointment in his eyes as he nodded back. “I understand.”

Scarlet suddenly heard the banging of doors inside her house, along with the muted sound of voices rising. It was her parents, arguing. She could hear it even from here. Another door slammed, and she turned and looked to the house with concern.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go back inside now – ” she said, as she turned back to say her goodbyes.

But as she turned back, she was utterly confounded. There was no sign of Sage. Anywhere.

She looked both ways, turned up and down the block, but there was nothing. It was unfathomable. It was as if he’d just vanished.

She wondered how he could have possibly run away that quickly. It was impossible.

She wondered where he went, and if there was still time to catch up to him. Because now, she felt an overwhelming urge to be with him, to talk to him. She realized, in a flash, that she had just made the stupidest mistake of her life by saying no. Now that he was gone, every ounce of her ached for him. She’d been such a fool. She hated herself.

Had she lost her chance for good?

Chapter Four

Still shaken from her encounter with Sage, Scarlet walked into her house lost in her own world.

She was snapped out of it rudely as she walked right into the middle of her parents’ arguing. She couldn’t believe it. In all her life, she never remembered them arguing and now that was all they did; she felt a pang of guilt, wondering if it had to do with her. She couldn’t help shake the feeling that something bad had started in all of their lives, something that wouldn’t go away, and which seemed to be escalating, day by day. And she couldn’t help feeling as if it were all her fault.

“You’re taking this way too far,” Caleb screamed at Caitlin behind the closed door. “Seriously. What’s gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into you?” Caitlin shot back. “You were always in my corner, always took my side. Now, it’s like you’re in denial.”

“Denial?” he shot back.

Scarlet couldn’t take it anymore. As if her day wasn’t bad enough – having to listen to this was putting her over the edge. She just wanted them to stop arguing. She just wanted their lives to go back to normal.

She took a few steps in and pushed open the door to the dining room, hoping her presence would make them stop.

They both stopped in mid-argument, as they wheeled and stared at her, like deer caught in headlights.

“Where were you?” her dad snapped at her.

Scarlet was taken aback: her dad had never yelled at her before, and had never used that kind of tone. His face was still read from arguing, and she barely recognized him.

“What do you mean?” she said, defensive. “I was just outside, with Ruth.”

“For an hour?”

“What are you talking about?” she said, wondering. “I was only outside for a few minutes.”

“No you weren’t. I went up and checked your room, then I saw you going outside, and that was an hour ago. Where did you go?” he insisted, walking around the table towards her. “Don’t you lie to me.”

Scarlet felt as if he’d totally lost his mind. Not only was her mom going crazy, her dad was, too. She felt her world caving in.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snapped back, her own voice rising. But she was starting to wonder if somehow she’d lost track of time. If something was happening to her. If she had again gone somewhere, and not remembered. The thought of it made her heart pound, as she started to silently freak out. “I’m not lying. And I don’t appreciate your accusing me of it.”

“Do you have any idea how worried sick we were about you? I was about to call the police again.”

“I’m sorry!” she yelled back. “I didn’t do anything!”

She was shaking inside at the brunt of his anger, and couldn’t stand it a moment longer. She turned and stormed out of the room, bursting into tears as she did. She ran up the steps.

She’d had it with her parents. It was just too much. Now, even her dad didn’t understand her. And he had always, her whole life, been on her side, through everything.

“Scarlet, get back here!” he shouted.

“NO!” she screamed back, through her tears.

She could hear her dad’s footsteps, following her up the steps, and she went faster. She hurried down the hall, to her room, and slammed the door behind her.

A moment later, his fist banged on the door.

“Scarlet. Open the door. I’m sorry. I want to talk to. Please. I’m sorry.”

But Scarlet turned off the lights and jumped into bed, curling up. She sat there, crying and crying.

“Go away!” she screamed.

Finally, after what felt like forever, she heard his footsteps disappear.

It was too early to sleep, and Scarlet felt too numb to do anything else. After a long while, she reached over and picked up her phone. Her alerts were going crazy – her Facebook page blowing up with new posts and messages. It just made her feel worse, and she shut it off.

After a long while, she lay there, on her side, looking out through the window at the trees, at all the different colors, shimmering in the final light of day. She watched as several leaves fell off the trees before her eyes, swirling down to the ground.

She felt overwhelmed with sadness. Blake didn’t want to be with her; Vivian had turned the whole school against her; her own friends didn’t understand her; her parents didn’t trust her; she didn’t know what was happening to her body. And most of all, she messed up her chance to talk to Sage. Everything was going so wrong. And she couldn’t stop flashing back to that moment between her and Blake, down by the river. She couldn’t stop thinking about what was happening to her. Who was she, really?

She reached over and grabbed her journal and her favorite pen, leaned over and began to write.

I don’t understand my life anymore. It’s surreal. I just met the most amazing boy ever. Sage. I don’t want to admit it, because Maria likes him, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I feel like I’ve known him somehow. We barely spoke, yet I felt such a connection to him. Even more than with Blake.

But he left so quickly, and I stupidly turned him down. I wish I hadn’t. There are so many questions I’m dying to ask him. Like who he is. What he’s doing here. And why he was in front of my house. He said he was just walking by, but somehow I don’t believe it. I think he was looking for me.

I don’t know who my parents are anymore. Every day, everything is changing so much. I don’t know who I am either. It’s like the whole world I once knew, the world that was so familiar and safe is gone, replaced by another world. And I feel like tomorrow, it will all just change again.

I dread tomorrow. Will everybody hate me? Will Blake ignore me? Will I see Sage?

I can’t even imagine what the next day will bring.

* * *

Scarlet opened her eyes, awakened by a doorbell. She looked out and was shocked to realize it was already late morning, the sun flooding into her bedroom. She realized she’d fallen asleep in her clothes, on top of the covers. She grabbed her clock and turned it: 8:30. Her heart fluttered with panic. She was late for school.

The doorbell rang again, and Scarlet jumped to her feet. Given the time, she assumed her parents had already left for work, so she had to answer the door. Who could be ringing it so early in the morning?

She was tempted to ignore it, to just hurry up and get ready for school, but it rang again.

Ruth barked and barked and finally, Scarlet let her out and followed her down the stairs, through the living room, and towards the door.

Ruth stood before it, barking like crazy.

“Ruth!”

Finally Ruth quieted as Scarlet walked to the door. She slowly pulled it open.

Her heart stopped.

Standing there, staring back at her, was Sage. He held a long black rose, in both hands.

“I’m sorry to drop by like this,” he said. “But I knew you’d be home.”

“How?” she asked, totally confused.

He only stared back.

“May I come in?” he asked.

“Um…” Scarlet began.

A part of her desperately wanted to invite him in, but another part felt freaked out. What was he doing here? Why was he bringing her a black rose?

But then again, she couldn’t just send him away.

“Sure,” she said. “Come in.”

Sage smiled wide, as he took a single big step across the threshold.

As he did, to her amazement, suddenly he sank into the floor. He sank and sank, as if into quicksand, and held up a hand, shrieking for her.

“Scarlet!” he shrieked. “Help me!”

Scarlet reached down and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him up. But she suddenly went down the hole, too, diving down face first. She screamed at the top of her lungs, as she went flying full speed, heading towards the bowels of the earth.

Scarlet woke screaming. She looked all around her room, her heart pounding. The first rays of the day came through her window. She looked over at her clock. 6:15.

She had fallen asleep in her clothes. She breathed hard as she realized it had all just been a dream.

Her heart was pounding. It had felt so real.

She got up, headed into her bathroom and splashed cold water on her face several times, trying to wake up. As she stared back into the mirror, though, her fears were compounded: her reflection. It was different. She was there, but her reflection was translucent, as if she were a ghost. As if she were fading away. At first she thought the light was playing tricks on her. But she turned up the light, and it was still the same.

She was so freaked out, she felt like crying. She didn’t know what to do. She needed something to ground her. Someone to talk to. Someone to tell her that it would be OK. That she wasn’t going crazy. That she wasn’t changing. That she was the same old Scarlet.

For some reason, Scarlet thought of her mom’s offer, of the priest. Now, she felt like she really needed him. Maybe he could help her feel better.

She walked out into the hall and as she did, saw her mom walking down the hall, getting dressed for work.

“Mom?” she asked.

Caitlin stopped and turned, looking surprised.

“Oh honey, I didn’t know you were awake so early,” she said. “Are you okay?”

Scarlet nodded, afraid she would cry, and walked down the hall and gave her mom a hug.

Her mom hugged her back, tightly, and rocked her, and it felt so good to be in her arms.

“I miss you honey,” her mom said. “And I love you very much.”

“I love you too,” Scarlet said over her shoulder, and began to tear up.

“What’s wrong?” her mom asked, as she pulled back.

Scarlet wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye.

“Do you remember your offer the other day? To see the priest?”

She nodded back.

“I’d like to go. Can we go together? After school today?”

Her mom smiled wide, seeming relieved.

“Of course we can, sweetheart.”

She gave Scarlet another hug. “I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you too, mom.”

Chapter Five

Scarlet got to school early, for the first time in ages. The halls hadn’t filled up yet, and it was a ghost town as she walked to her locker. She was used to coming in late, to the place being packed, but today, after her nightmare, she felt too antsy to sit around the house and wait. She’d also checked her Facebook and Twitter and saw the ridiculous amount of activity as a result of Vivian and her friends posting about her, and was so anxious about how the school might react, she felt coming in early might somehow help fend it off. At least by getting here early, she felt somewhat grounded, somewhat prepared.

Although of course she knew that would do no good. Soon these halls would fill with an overwhelming number of kids, and they would cluster in groups, outnumber her, and look and whisper. Including, maybe, Blake. She wondered what he might have told everyone about their date. Did he tell them everything that happened? Did he tell them that she was some kind of freak?

The thought of it made her so sick, she’d skipped breakfast this morning. She would have to face the music, and wondered how many hundreds of kids had been following the posts – and what they all thought about her. A part of her wanted to curl up and die, to run away and leave this town, and never come back.

But she knew neither of these were an option, so she figured, better to just be brave and get it over with.

As she opened her locker and collected her books for the day, she realized how far behind she was in all her homework assignments. This, too, was so unlike her. The last two days had been so crazy, everything so different than it had ever been. Making matters worse, she was squinting at the morning light coming in through the windows, and noticed she had a terrible headache she’d never had before. She found herself shielding her eyes at a particularly bright hallway, and wondered again if something was wrong with her. Was she still sick or something?

She spotted her old sunglasses sitting up there, on the top shelf of her locker, and felt like grabbing them and wearing them indoors, throughout the day. But she knew that would only attract more negative attention.

Like a tidal wave, the halls began to fill with kids, pouring in from every direction. She glanced at her phone and realized her first class would start in a few minutes. She took a deep breath and closed her locker.

She’d noticed on her phone that there were no new texts, and her thoughts turned again to Blake, to yesterday. Her running away. She wondered again what he must have told the others. Had he really said all those harmful things? That he’d dumped her? Or had Vivian made them up? What did he really think of her? And why hadn’t he answered any of her texts?

She assumed, of course, that his silence was a response. That he was freaked out, and no longer interested. But she wished, at least, that he’d respond, as she checked her phone yet again, just in case – even if just to say he wasn’t interested. She hated not hearing.

As if all that were not enough, she could not stop thinking about Sage, either. Their meeting, in front of her house, had been so mysterious. She regretted walking away from him, and wished she had a few more moments to talk to him, to ask him more questions. Her dream freaked her out, though, and she could not understand why he was stuck in her mind, even more so than Blake.

She felt so confused. With Blake, it was like she consciously thought about him; with Sage, it was like she couldn’t help it – she thought about him whether she wanted to or not, and she didn’t understand her strong feelings for him. Strangely enough, even though she’d known Blake for years, she already somehow felt closer to Sage. What bothered her more than anything was that it didn’t make sense. She hated not understanding – especially when it came to love.

“Oh my God, Scarlet?” came the voice.

As she closed her locker she saw Maria standing there, looking back at her as if she were looking at an infamous celebrity.

“You’re never here early! I texted you like a million times last night! What happened? Where were you? Are you OK?”

Scarlet felt a pang of regret; she’d been too overwhelmed to reply to all her texts. She also felt a new feeling of nervousness around Maria, given her feelings for Sage. After all, Maria made it clear that she was obsessed with Sage. If she found out Scarlet had talked to him the night before – especially in front of her own house – she feared Maria would freak out. Maria was so possessive and territorial when it came to boys. She always thought that whoever she laid her eyes on was hers – whether the person knew of her existence or not. And if anyone even remotely got in the way, they were her instant enemy. She could be very spiteful like that – and she would never forgive and forget. She was that kind of person: either your closest friend, or your mortal enemy.