Desired

Caitlin hiked up the entire hill, more tired than she’d just about ever been, and wishing she could fly.

She finally reached the front doors of the abbey, and looked up at the massive, oak doors. This place looked ancient. She marveled at the fact that, though it was 1789, this church had already been around for what looked like thousands of years.

She didn’t know why, but she felt drawn here. Seeing nowhere else to go, she got her courage up, and knocked softly.

There was no response.

Caitlin tried the knob and was surprised to find it open. She let herself in.

The ancient door creaked open slowly, and it took a moment for Caitlin’s eyes to adjust to the cavernous, dark church. As she surveyed it, she was impressed by the scope and solemnity of the place. It was still late at night, and this simple, austere, church, made entirely of stone, adorned in stained-glass windows, was lit by large candles, everywhere, burning low. At its far end sat a simple altar, around which were placed dozens more candles.

Otherwise, it seemed empty.

Caitlin wondered for a moment what she was doing here. Was there a special reason? Or had her mind just been playing tricks on her?

A side door suddenly opened, and Caitlin spun.

Walking towards her, Caitlin was surprised to see, was a nun – short, frail, dressed in flowing white robes, with a white hood. She walked slowly, and walked right up to Caitlin.

She pulled back her hood, looked up at her and smiled. She had large, shining blue eyes, and seemed too young to be a nun. As she smiled wide, Caitlin could feel the warmth coming off of her. She also sensed that she was one of hers: a vampire.

“Sister Paine,” the nun said softly. “It is an honor to have you.”

Chapter Two

Her world felt surreal as the nun led Caitlin through the abbey, down a long corridor. It was a beautiful place, and it was clear that it was actively lived in, with nuns in white robes walking about, getting ready, it seemed, for the morning services. One of them swung a decanter as she went, spreading delicate incense, while others were chanting soft morning prayers.

After several minutes of walking in silence, Caitlin began to wonder where the nun was leading her. Finally, they stopped before a single door. The nun opened it, revealing a small, humble room, with a view overlooking Paris. It reminded Caitlin of the room she’d stayed in in that cloister in Siena.

“On the bed, you’ll find a change of clothing,” the nun said. “There is a well in which to bathe, in our courtyard,” she said. She pointed, “and that is for you.”

Caitlin followed her finger and saw a small, stone pedestal in the corner of the room, on which sat a silver goblet, filled with a white liquid. The nun smiled back.

“You have everything you need here for a fresh night’s sleep. After that, the choice is yours to make.”

“Choice?” Caitlin asked.

“I am told that you have one key already. You will need to find the other three. The choice, though, of whether to fulfill your mission and continue on your journey is always yours.”

“This is for you.”

She reached out and handed Caitlin a cylindrical, silver case, covered in jewels.

“It is a letter from your father. Just for you. We have been guarding it for centuries. It has never been opened.”

Caitlin took it in awe, feeling its weight in her hand.

“I do hope that you will continue with your mission,” she said softly. “We need you, Caitlin.”

The nun suddenly turned to go.

“Wait!” Caitlin yelled out.

She stopped.

“I’m in Paris, correct? In 1789?”

The woman smiled back. “That is correct.”

“But why? Why am I here? Why now? Why this place?”

“I’m afraid that is for you to find out. I am but a simple servant.”

“But why was I drawn to this church?”

“You are in the Abbey of Saint Peter. In Montmartre,” the woman said. “It has been here for thousands of years. It is a very sacred place.”

“Why?” Caitlin pressed.

“This was the place in which everyone met to take their vows for the founding of the Society of Jesus. It is in this place that Christianity was born.”

Caitlin stared back, speechless, and the nun finally smiled and said, “Welcome.”

And with that, she bowed slightly, and walked away, closing the door gently behind her.

Caitlin turned and surveyed the room. She was grateful for the hospitality, for the change of clothes, for the chance to bathe, for the comfortable bed that she saw lying in the corner. She didn’t think she could take one more step. In fact, she was so tired, she felt like she could sleep forever.

Holding the bejeweled case, she walked to the corner of the room, and set it down. The scroll could wait. But her hunger couldn’t.

She lifted the overflowing goblet and examined it. She could already sense what it contained: white blood.

She put it to her lips and drank. It was sweeter than red blood and went down more easily – and it ran through her veins faster. Within moments, she felt reborn, and stronger than she’d ever had. She could have drank forever.

Caitlin finally set down the empty goblet, and took the silver case with her to bed. She lay down, and realized how sore her legs were. It felt so good to just lay there.

She leaned back and rested her head against the small, simple pillow, and closed her eyes, just for a second. She was resolved to open them in just a moment, and read her father’s letter.

But the moment her eyes closed, an incredible exhaustion overcame her. She couldn’t open them again if she tried. Within seconds, she was fast asleep.

* * *

Caitlin stood on the floor of the Roman Colosseum, dressed in full battle gear, holding a sword. She was ready to challenge whoever attacked her – indeed, felt the urge to fight. But as she spun around, in every direction, she saw that the stadium was empty. She looked up at the rows of seats, and saw that the entire place was vacant.

Caitlin blinked, and when she opened her eyes, she was no longer in the Colosseum, but rather in the Vatican, in the Sistine Chapel. She still held her sword, but now was dressed in robes.

She looked about the room and saw hundreds of vampires, lined up neatly, dressed in white robes, with glowing blue eyes. They stood patiently along the wall, silent, at perfect attention.

Caitlin dropped her sword in the empty chamber, and it landed with a clink. She walked slowly towards the head priest, reached out, and took from him a huge silver goblet, filled with white blood. She drank, and the liquid overflowed and poured down her cheeks.

Suddenly, Caitlin found herself alone in the desert. She was walking barefoot on the baked dirt, the sun beating down her, and she held a gigantic key in her hand. But the key was so big – unnaturally big – and the weight of it was pulling her down.

She walked and walked, gasping for air in the heat, until finally, she came to a huge mountain. At the top of that mountain, she saw a man standing there, looking down, smiling.

She knew it was her father.

Caitlin broke into a sprint, running for all she was worth, trying to make it up the mountain, getting closer and closer to him. As she did, the sun grew higher, hotter in the sky, bearing down on her, seeming to come from right behind her father himself. It was as if he were the sun, and she were heading right into it.

Her ascent grew hotter, higher, and she gasped for breath as she got close. He stood with his arms are outstretched, waiting to embrace her.

But the hill became steeper and she was just too tired. She couldn’t go any further. She collapsed where she was.

Caitlin blinked, and when she opened her eyes, she saw her father standing over her, leaning down, a warm smile on his face.

“Caitlin,” he said. “My daughter. I’m so proud of you.”

She tried to reach out, to hold him, but the key was now on top of her, and it was too heavy, pinning her down.

She looked up at him, trying to talk, but her lips were cracked and her throat was too parched.

“Caitlin?”

“Caitlin?”

Caitlin opened her eyes with a start, disoriented.

She looked up, and saw a man sitting on her bedside, looking down at her, smiling.

He reached over, and gently brushed the hair out of her eyes.

Was this still a dream? She felt the cool sweat on her forehead, felt his touch on her wrist, and she prayed that it was not.

Because there before her, smiling down, was the love of her life.

Caleb.

Chapter Three

Sam opened his eyes with a start. He was staring up at the sky, looking up the trunk of an enormous oak tree. He blinked several times, wondering where he was.

He felt something soft on his back, and it felt very comfortable, and he looked over and realized he was lying on a patch of moss on the forest floor. He looked back up, and saw dozens of trees high above him, swaying in the wind. He heard a gurgling sound, and looked over, and saw a stream trickling by, just a few feet from his head.

Sam sat up and looked around, glancing in every direction, taking it all in. He was deep in the woods, alone, the only light coming in through the tree branches. He checked himself and saw that he was fully dressed, in the same battle gear he had been wearing in the Colosseum. It was quiet here, the only sound being that of the stream, of the birds, and of some distant animals.

Sam realized, with relief, that the time travel had worked. He was clearly in some other place and time – although where and when that was, he had no idea.

Sam slowly checked his body, and realized he’d sustained no major injuries, and that he was all in one piece. He felt a terrible hunger gnawing at his stomach, but he could live with that. First, he had to figure out where he was.

He reached down, feeling to see if he had any weaponry on him.

Unfortunately, none of it had made the trip. He was on his own again, left to the devices of just his own bare hands.

He wondered if he still carried a vampire’s power. He could feel an unnatural strength still coursing through his veins, and it felt like he had. But then again, he couldn’t be sure until the time came.

And that time came sooner than he thought.

Sam heard the snap of a branch, and turned to see a large bear hulking towards him, slowly, aggressively. He froze. It glowered at him, raised its fangs, and snarled.

A second later, it broke into a sprint, charging right for him.

There was no time for Sam to run, and nowhere for him to run to. He had no choice, he realized, but to confront this animal.

But strangely enough, instead of being overcome by fear, Sam felt rage course through him. He was furious at the animal. He resented being attacked, especially before he even had a chance to get his bearings. So, without thinking, Sam charged, too, preparing to meet the bear in battle, the same way he would a human.

Sam and the bear met in the middle. The bear lunged for him, and Sam lunged right back. Sam felt the power coursing through his veins, felt it telling him that he was invincible.

As he met the bear in mid-air, he realized that he was right. He caught the bear by its shoulders, grabbed on, spun and threw it. The bear went flying backwards through the woods, dozens of feet, smashing hard into a tree.

Sam stood there and roared back at the bear, a fierce roar, even louder than the animal’s. He felt the muscles and veins bulging in him as he did.

The bear got to its feet slowly, wobbly, and looked at Sam with something like shock. It now hobbled as it walked, and after taking a few tentative steps, it suddenly lowered its head, turned, and ran away.

But Sam wasn’t going to let it get away so easy. He was mad now, and he felt like nothing in the world could abate his anger. And he was hungry. The bear would have to pay.

Sam broke into a sprint, and was pleased to find that he was faster than this animal. Within moments, he caught up to it and in a single leap, landed on its back. He leaned back, and sunk his fangs deep into its neck.

The bear howled in agony, bucking wildly, but Sam held on. He sunk his fangs deeper, and within moments, he felt the bear slumped to its knees beneath him. Finally, it stopped moving.

Sam lay on top of it, drinking, feeling its life force course through his veins.

Finally, Sam leaned back and licked his lips, dripping with blood. He’d never felt so refreshed. It was exactly the meal he’d needed.

Sam was just rising back to his feet, when he heard another twig snap.

He looked over, and standing there, in a clearing of the forest, was a young girl, maybe 17, dressed in a thin, all-white material. She stood there, holding a basket, and stared back at him, in shock. Her skin was translucent white, and her long, light brown hair framed large, blue eyes. She was beautiful.

She stared back at Sam, equally transfixed.

He realized that she must be afraid of him, afraid that maybe he would attack her; he realized that he must have looked like an awful sight, on top of a bear, blood in his mouth. He didn’t want to scare her.

So he jumped down from the animal, and took several steps towards her.

To his surprise, she didn’t flinch, or try to move away. Rather, she just continued to stare at him, unafraid.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

She smiled. That surprised him. Not only was she beautiful, but she was truly unafraid. How could that be?

“Of course you’re not,” she said. “You’re one of mine.”

It was Sam’s turn to be shocked. The second she said it, he knew it to be true. He had sensed something when he’d first seen her, and now he knew. She was one of his. A vampire. That’s why she was unafraid.

“Nice takedown,” she said, gesturing at the bear. “A little messy, wouldn’t you say? Why not go for a deer?”

Sam smiled. Not only was she pretty – she was funny.

“Maybe next time I will,” he said back.

She smiled.

“Would you mind telling me what year it is?” he asked. “Or century, at least?”

She just smiled, and shook her head.

“I think I’ll leave that for you to find out for yourself. If I told you, it would ruin all the fun, wouldn’t it?”

Sam liked her. She was spunky. And he felt at ease around her, as if he’d known her forever.

She took a step forward, and reached out her hand. Sam took it, and loved the feel of her smooth, translucent skin.

“I’m Sam,” he said, shaking her hand, holding it for too long.

She smiled wider.

“I know,” she said.

Sam was baffled. How could she possibly know? Had he met her before? He couldn’t remember.

“I was sent for you,” she added.

She suddenly turned and began heading down a forest trail.

Sam hurried to catch up to her, presuming she meant for him to follow. Not looking carefully were he was going, he was embarrassed to find himself trip over a branch; he heard her giggling as he did.

“So?” he prodded. “Aren’t you going to tell me your name?”

She giggled again.

“Well, I have a formal name, but I rarely go by it,” she said.

Then she turned and faced him, waiting for him to catch up.

“If you must know, everyone calls me Polly.”

Chapter Four

Caleb held open the huge, medieval door, and as he did, Caitlin stepped out of the abbey and took her first steps out into the early morning light. Caleb at her side, she looked out at the breaking dawn. Here, high atop the hill of Montmartre, she was able to look out and see all of Paris stretched before her. It was a beautiful, sprawling city, a mixture of classical architecture and simple houses, of cobblestone streets and dirt roads, of trees and urbanity. The sky blended in a million soft colors, making the city look alive. It was magical.

Even more magical was the hand that she felt slip into hers. She looked over and saw Caleb standing by her side, enjoying the view with her, and she could hardly believe it was real. She could hardly believe it was really him, that they were really here. Together. That he knew who she was. That he remembered her. That he’d found her.

She wondered again if she had truly awakened from a dream, if she were not still sleeping.

But as she stood there, and squeezed his hand tighter, she knew that she was truly awake. She had never felt so overjoyed. She had been running for so long, had come back in time, all these centuries, all this way, just to be with him. Just to make sure he was alive again. When he hadn’t remembered her, in Italy, it had crushed her to the depths.

But now that he was here, and alive, and remembered her – and now that he was all hers, single, without Sera around – her heart swelled with new emotion, and with new hope. She had never in her wildest dreams imagined that it could all work out so perfectly, that it could all actually really work. She was so overwhelmed, she didn’t even know where to begin, or what to say.

Before she could speak, he began.

“Paris,” he said, turning to her with a smile. “There are certainly worse places we could be together.”

She smiled back.

“My whole life long, I’d always wanted to see it,” she answered.

With someone I love, she wanted to add, but stopped herself. It felt like it had been so long since she’d been by Caleb’s side, she actually found herself feeling nervous again. In some ways, it felt like she had been with him forever – longer than forever – but in other ways, it felt like she was meeting him again for the first time.

He reached out his hand, palm up.

“Would you see it with me?” he asked.

She reached out and placed her hand into his.

“It’s a long walk back down,” she said, looking down at the steep hill, leading all the way down, for miles, and sloping into Paris.

“I was thinking of something a bit more scenic,” he answered. “Flying.”

She rolled back her shoulder blades, trying to feel if her wings were working. She felt so rejuvenated, so restored from that drink, from the white blood – but she still wasn’t sure she was able to fly. And she didn’t feel ready to leap off a mountain in the hope that her wings would take.

“I don’t think I’m ready yet,” she said.

He looked at her, and understood.

“Fly with me,” he said, then added, with a smile, “just like the old days.”

She smiled, came up behind him, and held onto his back and shoulders. His muscular body felt so good in her arms.

He suddenly leapt into the air, so fast, that she barely had time to hang on tight.

Before she knew it, they were flying, she holding onto his back, looking down, resting her head on his shoulder blade. She felt that familiar thrill in her stomach, as they plummeted, coming down low, close to the city, in the sunrise. It was breathtaking.

But none of it was as breathtaking as her being in his arms again, holding him, just being together. She had barely been with him an hour, and already she was praying that they would never be apart again.

* * *

The Paris that they flew over, the Paris of 1789, was in so many ways similar to the pictures of Paris she’d seen in the 21st century. She recognized so many of the buildings, the churches, the steeples, the monuments. Despite its being hundreds of years old, it looked almost exactly like the same city of the 21st century. Like Venice and Florence, so little had changed in just a few hundred years.

But in other ways, it was very different. It was not nearly as built up. Although some roads were paved with cobblestone, still others were dirt. It was not nearly as condensed, and in between buildings there were still clumps of trees, almost like a city built into an encroaching forest. Instead of cars, there were horses, carriages, people walking in the dirt, or pushing carts. Everything was slower, more relaxed.

Caleb dove lower, until they were flying feet above the tops of the buildings. As they cleared the last of them, suddenly, the sky opened, and spread out before them was the Seine River, cutting right through the middle of the city. It glowed yellow in the early morning light, and it took her breath away.

Caleb dove low, flying above it, and she marveled at the beauty of the city, at how romantic it was. They flew over the small island, the Ile de la Cite, and she recognized the Notre Dame beneath her, its huge steeple soaring above everything else.

Caleb dove even lower, just above the water, and the moist river air cooled them on this hot July morning. Caitlin looked out and saw Paris on both sides of the river, as they flew above and below the numerous, small arched foot bridges connecting one side of the river to the other. Then Caleb lifted them up, and over to one side of the river bank, setting them down softly, behind a large tree, out of sight of any passersby.

She looked around and saw that he had brought them to an enormous, formal park and garden, which seemed to stretch for miles, right alongside the river.

“The Tuileries,” Caleb said. “The very same garden of the 21st century. Nothing has changed. It’s still the most romantic place in Paris.”

With a smile, he reached out and took her hand. They began strolling together, down a path which wound its way through the garden. She had never felt so happy.

There were so many questions she was burning to ask him, so many things that she was dying to say to him, she hardly knew where to begin. But she had to start somewhere, so she figured she’d just start with what was most recently on her mind.

“Thank you,” she said, “for Rome. For the Colosseum. For saving me,” she said. “If you hadn’t had arrived when you did, I don’t know what would have happened.”

She turned and looked at him, suddenly unsure. “Do you remember?” she asked worriedly.

He turned and looked at her, and nodded, and she saw that he did. She was relieved. At least, finally, they were on the same page. Their memories were back. That alone meant the world to her.

“But I didn’t save you,” he said. “You handled yourself quite well without me. On the contrary, you saved me. Just being with you – I don’t know what I would do without you,” he said.

As he squeezed her hand, she felt her entire world slowly become restored within her.

As they ambled through the gardens, she gazed in wonder at all the varieties of flowers, the fountains, the statues… It was one of the most romantic places she’d ever been.

“And I’m sorry,” she added.

He looked at her, and she was afraid to say it.

“For your son.”

His face darkened, and as he looked away, she saw genuine grief flash across it.

Stupid, she thought. Why do you always have to go and ruin the moment? Why couldn’t you have waited for some other time?

Caleb swallowed and nodded, too overcome with grief to even speak.

“And I’m sorry about Sera,” Caitlin added. “I never meant to get between the two of you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “It had nothing to do with you. It was between her and I. We were never meant to be together. It was wrong from the start.”

“Well, finally, I’ve been wanting to tell you that I’m sorry for what happened in New York,” she added, feeling relieved to get it off her chest. “I would have never stabbed if I knew that it was you. I swear, I thought you were someone else, shapeshifting. I never in a million years thought it was really you.”

She felt herself tear up at the thought of it.

He stopped and looked at her, and held her shoulders.

“None of that matters now,” he said, earnestly. “You came back to save me. And I know that you did so at great expense. It might not have even worked. And you risked your life for me. And gave up our child for me,” he said, looking down again in momentary grief. “I love you more than I can say,” he said, still looking at the ground.

He looked at her with wet eyes.

At that moment, they kissed. She felt herself melting into his arms, felt her entire world relax, as they kissed for what felt like forever. It was the greatest moment she had ever had with him, and in some ways, she felt like she was getting to know him for the first time.

Finally, slowly, they pulled out of it, looking deeply into each other’s eyes.

Then they both looked away, demurely, took each other’s hands, and continued their walk through the gardens, alongside the river. She looked at how beautiful, how romantic Paris was, and realized that at that moment, all of her dreams were coming true. This was all she’d ever wanted out of life. To be with someone who loved her – who really loved her. To be in such a beautiful city, such a romantic place. To feel like she could have a life ahead of her.