Men Of Honour

Natalie sat silent for so long that Jett hurt for her. “I was nine the first time my mother tried to kill herself.”

Jett caught his breath on a wave of pain. How hard would that be for a sensitive little girl? “Damn, Natalie. I’m sorry.”

“She threw herself off a bridge. Twice, actually. The first time she failed because there was a rescue team doing drills in the river below her.” Natalie’s mouth twisted with pain and sarcasm. “Perfect timing, right? They fished her out, ruining her dramatic display.”

Oh God. “Honey…”

“I think she was pretty miserable. At least, that’s what Molly has always told me, that Mom didn’t hate us, but that she was an unhappy woman who didn’t know how to make herself happy.” She frowned a little. “Living with my father could make anyone miserable, I’m sure.”

He gave silent thanks she’d had Molly to help diffuse some of the hurt. Though her sister couldn’t have been much older herself, he knew they’d comforted each other.

When he finally got to meet her sister, he planned to give her a big hug of gratitude.

“But I don’t blame Dad entirely.” Natalie’s words were filled with contempt, but her expression was wounded. “I mean, if Mom did hate him so much, why would she leave her daughters with him, you know? Why didn’t she just divorce him and take us with her?”

“I don’t know.” Damn, he needed to get to a hotel so he could hold her. Highway lamps flickered on, and headlights barely cut through the growing darkness. The six-hour trip had turned into eight, and they needed to get settled, to eat real food, to stretch. “Everyone is different, baby. Some people aren’t as strong as others.”

“Molly thinks I’m strong. She always says that, so I guess she really believes it.”

“I’d agree.” It definitely took great inner strength to survive so much unhappiness and still have her tender heart and gentle understanding intact.

“Back when Mom died, Molly seemed so much older, and I really relied on her. But there’s only three years separating us.” She stared off into the distance. “She’s more than my sister. She’s my best friend, too.”

“I’m glad the two of you are so close.”

She didn’t seem to hear him. “After Mom jumped off that bridge, she spent a long time in a really exclusive hospital. You know the type, where you pay through the nose to be pampered, and they cater to your every wish.”

Jett didn’t know what to say, so he nodded.

“I hated visiting her there, especially since Dad would be the one to take us. The entire day would be ruined with friction, condescension and strained civility. At home, Mom and Dad barely talked, but while she was in the hospital he spent all his time telling her that she was being selfish and weak and that she’d embarrassed him.” Natalie laughed in that humorless, sad way again. “Nurses overheard him but said nothing since he was paying the bills, and that embarrassed me. It still embarrasses me.”

“It shouldn’t. Your parents are not you.”

“But that’s pretty much what my family is, you know? Awkward and ugly and cold.”

He understood now why she avoided talking about them. “That had to be hell on a kid.”

She drew a slow deep breath. “After Mom came home again, Molly kept saying that she’d be okay. I don’t know if she believed that or if she was just trying to protect me. Or maybe she wanted to convince herself.”

Jett had wanted her to open up to him, but now he almost couldn’t bear it. “She wasn’t okay.”

“Far from it. And regardless of what Molly had said, neither of us was real surprised when she took another jump off a bridge, this time over a highway.”

Jett cursed low.

“There was no fishing her out that time.” She stared down at her hands. “It was a gory, headline-worthy scandal, and that’s what Dad was mostly put out over. Not once did I see him cry or get emotional over any of it. I honestly don’t think any woman—or maybe even any person—has ever meant that much to him.”

Not even his daughters. The idea left Jett furious. “Parents should be there for their kids.”

She nodded. “Being a teacher, I see mostly good parents who really love their children. They’re not perfect and they make mistakes, but not because they don’t care—just because they’re human.”

“Making mistakes is the biggest part of being in a family. But when you love each other, a few mistakes are easily forgiven.” Even as he said it, he wondered about her relationship with her sister. “Have you and Molly had any differences?”

“I really despised Adrian.” She winced, as if guilty. “Molly said that I didn’t think anyone was good enough for her, but that’s not true. I want her to be happy, and if she’d married Adrian, I’d have made the best of it.”

“Sometimes people in love wear blinders.”

“That’s just it, though. Adrian was convenient, but I don’t think Molly really loved him.” Natalie waved a hand. “Anyway, it all worked out when Adrian finally showed his true colors. Molly dumped him, and she wasn’t all that broken up about it, so I say good riddance.”

“What about your stepmother? Do you both like her?”

“Kathi.” She wrinkled her nose. “She’s perfect for my father. And I have to give her credit for trying to make us into some sort of family, as impossible as that seems.”

Jett hated how she said that, as if she’d almost given up on the idea of family.

In the next second, his thoughts shattered as a semi tried to pass them and lost control. Everything happened fast.

Horns blared as the semi swerved across the lanes, forcing two cars to crash into each other as another slid wildly and almost hit them. Jett had just winged past that collision when another car fishtailed in front of him.

For a split second, Jett lost control of the SUV and they went sliding sideways. Natalie never made a sound and neither did he. Then the tires gained traction in the thick snow on the perimeter of the lane and Jett again righted the vehicle. Ice and snow pelted the windshield, leaving him temporarily blind before the wipers managed to shove aside the slush.

And then he saw it, that damned semi now sideways in the road. When Jett touched his brakes, he slid over the icy roadway.

“Damn.” Squeezing the wheel in a death grip, he tapped the brakes again, more gently this time, and steered toward the berm. The truck’s trailer flipped over and dragged the cab toward the median.

Behind them, Jett heard the impact of steel on steel as two other cars reacted to the sight of the semi and lost control.

The semi flipped over into the median, finally out of Jett’s path but too late for him to continue on. The SUV made contact with a high pile of snow and ice on the side of the road.

The impact jarred them hard; Buddy yelped as he rolled out of his doggy bed.

Jett went still, his heart in his throat and fury burning his blood. For a heartbeat of time, he didn’t move. Buddy jarred him by barking and jumping up to look over the seat.

Jett glanced at Natalie. She had a death grip on the padded door handle, her other hand at her heart. Hand shaking, he reached over and touched her. “Natalie?”

“I’m fine.” She sounded calm. “Are you okay?”

No, he was not okay. In rapid succession a dozen scenarios had played out in his brain, all of them involving injury to her. Out of pure terror, he’d pictured the SUV wrecking, the semi crushing her, her soft flesh bleeding…

He was a man of control, but for one of the few times in his life, he knew he was rattled. God, the thought of anything happening to her left him devastated. Weak, shaken, sick.

What would he do without her?

That’s when it struck him.

“Jett?” She covered his hand with her own. “Say something.”

He locked gazes with her, and got blasted with reality. Oh hell.

Like a ton of bricks landing on his chest, crushing out all his air, he realized that he loved her.

Really loved her, like the forever kind. Like marriage, kids, picket fences and all the fanfare.

His eyes burned and his throat felt tight. He didn’t just want more time with Natalie. Hell no.

He wanted everything.

He turned his head to stare straight ahead. Less than a quarter of a mile up, an exit had been cleared. Jett put the SUV back in gear and, bless the fates, backed out of the snow and ice without a problem. “Buddy needs you.”

Natalie gave him another worried look, but she did comfort the dog as she looked out the rearview window. “Everyone looks okay.”

He didn’t want to look back. He couldn’t. “People are out of their cars?”

“Yes. The truck driver, too. There are at least…” She did a quick count. “Looks like six cars and the truck, all stopped, with the road blocked. Those poor people. They’ll be stuck for a while.”

Working his jaw, Jett took the exit, and right there, bludgeoned by the blizzard, a hotel came into view. “We’re going there.” Natalie didn’t reply, but that didn’t stop him from talking. “I’m getting us off the road, right now.”

In an attempt to calm him, she said, “Okay, Jett.”

He glanced at her with new awareness. Ah hell, now she wanted to placate him—because he was behaving like an ass.

New emotions rushed through him, all but obliterating his logic. He needed something to do so that he didn’t crush her close and declare himself.

“I’m calling my sister.” He used the speed dial in his car.

The second she answered, Jett gave her the name of the hotel and the location. “The roads are shit. We won’t make it to the cabin, so we’re staying here for the night. Got it?”

Heidi said, “Sure. But Jett? You okay?”

“Fine. Perfect, in fact. But I gotta go. The parking lot hasn’t been cleared yet, so I need to be alert. Bye.” He hung up on her.

Natalie watched him the same way she’d watch a lunatic. “Jett, it’s okay. We’re okay.”

“Not yet.” He wouldn’t be okay until he’d found a way to bind her to him. “But we will be just as soon as I set you straight on a few things.”

Disgruntlement laced her tone when she said, “Just what is that supposed to mean?”

“After I have you and Buddy settled.” His SUV pushed through the thick snow in the parking lot of the hotel. Luckily they had a covered entry and he pulled up there. “Stay put while I sign us in.” He looked at her and couldn’t believe he’d been so blind. She would have made this trip on her own. She could easily have been one of the people forced off the road, or worse.

Hating that thought, Jett caught the back of her neck to drag her close for a hot, hungry kiss. Gentler now, he said, “Okay?”

She looked dazed. “All right.”

Realizing that they were now stopped, Buddy got excited. He came over the seat in one bound and landed on Natalie. She laughed as she caught his collar so he couldn’t follow Jett out.

His heart in his throat, his libido raging, Jett jogged into the building. The hotel was nice enough to give them a room even though their usual policy denied pets. He paid a hefty extra fee for the privilege of bringing Buddy in, promised to clean up his messes and got room keys for their one and only suite.

Within twenty minutes he had them and their belongings inside. While Natalie ran a hot bath, Jett took Buddy out a side door to do his business. Not a single speck of ground could be seen through the thick snow, so Jett let the dog go where the opened door had cleared a spot. Buddy still got a little snow-covered, but he no longer seemed so panicked or afraid.

“We’ll be all right, Buddy. You’ll see.”

Buddy bounded around in agreement, burning off some energy before Jett took him back inside. To keep the dog occupied, Jet set up his doggy bed, his water and food dish and gave him a big juicy chew toy.

Buddy looked to be in doggy heaven.

With that done, Jett went into the bathroom and found Natalie resting in a steamy tub, her curly hair piled atop her head, her eyes closed and her luscious body lax. The water lapped at her chin and had already turned her toes pink.

She looked exhausted.

Jett stood there, no longer so stunned by his revelation. Of course he loved her. How could he not?

And it had nothing to do with her being elusive, as he’d first thought. Sure, that had first enhanced his interest, after her incredible body and sexual daring had caught his attention.

But it was Natalie herself who kept his thoughts in turmoil and made him feel those remarkable, unrecognizable, profound emotions. By being herself, a kind, intelligent and sexy woman, she had completely stolen his heart.

Life had taken her to hell and back, but she remained generous and open, honest and accepting. She used her childhood hardships as a learning tool to help other children now. He had no doubt she could be stern when necessary, but she would always be fair.

“Natalie?”

She looked up at him, her lashes spiked, her cheeks dewy. She sounded slumberous. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

She didn’t bother to cover herself or act shy about her body. From the beginning, she’d been an uninhibited lover. It was only in sharing her heart that she became shy.

But he’d get her over that. “Have you washed up?”

“Mmm.” She closed her eyes again. “I did that first, because I knew once I got warm, I’d get sleepy.”

“Not too sleepy, I hope.” As he scooped her out of the tub, her eyes flashed open again.

“Jett!”

Water sluiced down their bodies and onto the floor. He didn’t care.

“I need you, Natalie.” Such an understatement. Now that he knew he loved her, he wanted to hear a similar declaration from her. But he didn’t mind going first.

“I thought you’d be tired from all that tense driving.”

“Especially after that, I need you.” While carrying her to the bed, he kissed her nose, her forehead, her temple and ear. “I’ll always need you, you know.”

Her breath caught at the weighty meaning of those words. “What?”

Jett stood her beside the bed. He touched her cheek, brushed the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “Damn, but the things you make me feel are…powerful.”

“Powerful?”

He held out a hand, showing her. “You make me shake.”

“Oh, Jett.” She closed both her hands around his. “That’s just reaction from a near wreck.”

“No, honey. That’s reaction to knowing you could have been hurt. I wouldn’t be able to bear that.” Smiling was beyond him, so instead he kissed her. “Don’t move.”

He was back in seconds with a towel and he went about drying her. Going down to his knees in front of her, he took his time, being quite thorough. “God, Natalie, I love your body.”

She laughed nervously, her hand in his hair. “I don’t understand you tonight.”

Jett looked up at her. “I love your laugh, too.”

Her voice trembled. “Jett, really…”

“And the way you shrug off compliments.” He stood and cupped her face. “You’re tired, aren’t you?”

After slowly licking her lips, she ventured, “Well, not too tired, not now, not after you’ve just been touching me.”

He made a sound between a growl and a groan. “I especially love how sexual you are.” Knowing his repeated use of the L word had thrown her, Jett gently lowered her to the bed and knelt over her. “Just relax and let me do everything.”

“But…” Her beautiful eyes searched his. “You have to be tired, too.”

He shook his head and cupped her breasts in both hands. “I’m in love. Now hush.”

She went perfectly still, frozen, stiff—but Jett didn’t let that stop him. He caressed her breasts, teased her nipples.

“Jett, wait.” Natalie tried to catch his arm. “What did you say?”

“I said for you to hush.”

“No, before—”

He drew her nipple into his mouth, stealing her breath.

But her fingers clenched tight in his hair. “Damn it, Jett.”

Laughing a little, he said, “I even love it when you’re bossy.”

She breathed hard and fast, her gaze intent. He watched her throat as she swallowed. “You said…you said you love me.”

He could understand her confusion. “I’ve been battling with myself, pissed off one minute, jealous the next. And so damn turned on I couldn’t stand it, but it was never enough.” He shook his head. “You’ve turned me inside out, woman.”

Natalie searched his face a moment, then frowned. “Good.”

“Good?”

“You’ve turned me inside out, too.” Tears burned her eyes. “You love me?”

“Why else would I let you torture me like this?” He pushed her hair from her face. “When I lost control of the car… God, I’ve faced a lot of shit in my life, and I just sort of roll with it. But thinking you could have been hurt? It shook me. Bad. And I knew I had to stop being a chickenshit and just ’fess up.”

Slow to accept his declaration, she asked uncertainly, “By saying you love me?”

“Yeah.” He gave her a lopsided grin and shook her a little. “And if you love me, too, you need to put me out of my damned misery and tell me so.”

She launched herself close to him. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time now. I didn’t want to admit it because if I did, and you didn’t feel the same—”

“I feel it. Trust me, I’ve got it bad.” Lowering them both to the bed, Jett kissed her parted lips. “Say it again.”

Her hands opened on his chest. She stroked him then slowly slid her arms around his neck. “I love you, too.”

Thank God. But she was so skittish about family and relationships, he had to make sure she understood. Braced on his elbows over her, he gave her his most intent stare. “I need more than just sex, Natalie.”

Her gaze was soft, her voice more so. “How much more?”

In comparison, he sounded harsh and demanding. “Everything. The whole shebang.” The more he talked about it, the more he needed it. The more he needed her. Of course, she looked so happy and so accepting that his thoughts had already skipped ahead to being inside her, to hearing her cry out, feeling her squeezing him… Stay on track, Jett.

“The whole shebang, huh?”

“Commitment, marriage, fidelity.” As her legs wound around him, it became more difficult to explain. “You haven’t known the best relationships, honey, but I swear to you, we’ll be good together. We’ll be fucking amazing together.”

“I know.”

“We’ll have the forever kind—” Her smile finally reached him. Jett straightened his arms, staring at her in bemusement. “What do you mean, you know?”

She laughed with affection. “Jett, I already told you that you’re wonderful. I meant it. So a lifetime with you would be wonderful.”

“You’ll marry me?”

“Yes.” The smile remained but was now more subdued. “I might need time to get used to things. I mean, your family is the exact opposite of mine.”

“We’ll work on your family.”

“No.” She shuddered. “I don’t want to do that. And trust me, once you meet my father and stepmother, you’ll feel the same.”

“Whatever makes you happy.” If that meant winning over her ass of a father, he’d do it. Somehow.

But if she truly wanted to cut him out, that was fine with Jett.

Big tears welled in her eyes, and her smile trembled. “The thing is, I always knew my family was…abnormal. I always believed there could be love and friendship and happiness.”

“You’ll have that with me, I swear.”

“I know, because today, through that long trip from hell…I realized I already had it. You made the whole thing fun. Well, except for that business there at the very end—”

“Don’t.” Jett closed his eyes, unable to think about that and how easily he could have lost her. “I’m not perfect, Natalie.”

“I know that too.”

Jett cocked a brow. So now she was laughing at him? He grinned. “For you, I’ll try to be perfect.”

“For me, if you’d just go on being you, I’ll be a very happy woman.”

Her complete and utter acceptance of him put him over the edge. Within half a minute he had stripped his clothes away. Seconds after that, he was over her again, kissing her, touching her.

Entering her in one long, smooth thrust.

Everything was different now. More potent.

More satisfying.

They had one moment of shock when, just after they came together, Buddy tried to jump up onto the bed.

Natalie screeched, and that made Buddy howl.

Still in a fog, it took Jett a second to realize what had happened. Luckily the dog was too short to make the leap, though he was certainly trying. “Down, Buddy.” Jett jerked the comforter around them both.

Natalie started giggling, and once she started, she couldn’t stop.

Chagrined, Jett felt his own smile crack. Yeah, everything was different.

And damn, it couldn’t be more perfect.

THREE DAYS LATER, STILL snowed in, Buddy came to the bed and barked. Natalie didn’t hesitate. She nudged Jett.

“Hmm?”

They were both naked. Again. Or maybe still. Jett had dressed to get them food and to take Buddy out, but so far she’d only been partially clothed at any given time.

She hadn’t been out of the room once—and hadn’t minded in the least.

“Jett?”

“Mmm…Natalie.” He tried to pull her closer, already kissing her shoulder, his hand sliding around to her stomach.

The man was insatiable.

She was so lucky.

“Buddy has to go out.”

Letting out a sigh, Jett turned to his back and managed to get his eyes open. He yawned, stretched and lifted up on an elbow to look at her. “Hey, beautiful.”

Very softly, Natalie said, “Hey.”

He lifted one brow then smoothed the sheet away from her breasts. “Didn’t I tell you that you wouldn’t need clothes?”

“You were mostly right.” Natalie swatted the sheet back down. “But if I had clothes, I could offer to take a turn with Buddy.”

“I don’t mind.” Jett patted her hip and rolled out of the bed. “Be back in a few.”

Skipping boxers and a shirt, he pulled on jeans, stepped into his shoes and grabbed his coat. Buddy, already well used to their routine, danced around him.

Jett hooked the leash to his collar. “He looks energetic this morning, so I’m going to walk him around the halls a little after he takes care of his business.”

“Want me to order room service while you do that?”

“Naked?” He gave her a mock frown. “Hell no. I’ll bring something back with me.”

And so it went. Natalie did little to nothing while Jett pampered her in the most outrageous ways. She was still in the shower when he returned. She heard him and started to turn off the water, but then the shower curtain moved and he stepped in behind her.

He kissed the nape of her neck and wrapped his strong arms around her. “Natalie?”

She put her head on his shoulder. “Hmm?”

“This is the best damn vacation I’ve ever been on.”

Shaking her head, she laughed and said, “You’re easy.”

Slowly, the grin slipped over his face. “I’ve had you all to myself all this time. It’s been perfect.” He set her back from him again. “But the damned snow has finally stopped and the roads are getting cleared. No way could we make it to the cabin. The side roads are going to be screwed for a while. But it looks like we could head back tomorrow morning, if that’s what you want to do.”

Only one more day alone with him. Natalie sighed. “I’ve loved every second here with you.”

“But you’re worried about your sister, right?”

“Yes.” Before getting in the shower, she’d checked her email account. “I got an email from her.”

“And? You don’t look happy about it.”

Far from happy, she was now more concerned than ever. “There was something wrong with the message.”

“What kind of wrong?”

“It was too brief, and far too cryptic to be from Molly.”

“What did it say?”

“Just that she’d be gone for a while, off having some fun for a change, and that she’d get in touch when she could.” Natalie shook her head. “That’s not her. She’d have told me where she was going, given me a way to get in touch with her.” Natalie chewed her lip. “If she was going to have fun, she’d want me to know about it.”