Men Of Honour

Sensible, considerate, sexy Natalie. Every second with her deepened his feelings.

Jett shook his head and made it off the highway, but just barely. The one and only gas station he saw, attached to a small store of supplies, had a sign offering hot dogs and coffee.

“I’ll pull up close to the building to let you out under the overhang, then I’ll drive Buddy over to that semi-clear spot behind that big metal garbage bin. Wait inside for me, okay? When Buddy’s done, I’ll pull back up front and you can wait with him while I run in.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He noticed that Natalie had her knees together and bit back another grin. If he’d known things were so dire for her, he could have figured out something. What, he didn’t know, but he could be resourceful when it came to her comfort. Pretty soon, if everything went as he planned, she’d be comfortable enough with him to tell him everything she needed, even outside the bedroom.

Buddy again worried that he was being dumped, so Jett had to take extra time to convince him otherwise. He had to crouch down by the dog as Buddy did his business in ten different locations. All the while, Jett talked to him, rubbed his ear or scratched his back.

By the time Buddy finished and Jett had the gas tank refilled, his own situation was critical. His jeans now snow-covered up to his knees, his ears and nose red from the cold, Jett again pulled up in front of the gas station.

Natalie had her arms laden with hot dogs, chips and colas. While he stowed the food on the floor of the front seat, she crawled over the seat into the back to dig out food and water for Buddy. The dog hadn’t yet learned manners and he made a mess, and a racket, refilling his belly.

Shaking his head, Jett told her, “Be right back.”

He left the SUV running to keep her warm but locked the doors on his way out. After he finished inside, he asked the cashier about weather reports. Unfortunately, it sounded as if road crews couldn’t keep up with the downfall and shops were closing early so workers could avoid being stranded.

When Jett got back out to the SUV, he found Natalie looking dazed. He used the remote to unlock his door and got behind the wheel, relieved that she’d forgotten all about taking a turn driving. No way in hell would he let her behind the wheel. He did trust her driving ability, but she was far jumpier than him.

He frowned at her expression. “What is it, honey? You okay?”

She had her fingertips pressed to her temples and her eyes closed. Jett touched her chin to bring her face around to his.

“Natalie? What is it?”

She groaned as if in pain then covered her face. “I feel like such an idiot.”

He had no idea why but said, “Not even close.” Catching her wrists, he pulled down her hands. “Why do you say that?”

Avoiding his gaze, she let out a long shaky breath. “I don’t have my suitcase.”

Jett pulled back. “How?” He’d carried out everything she had by the door—and it was plenty. “I know I put all your stuff in the back. I even double-checked to make sure I didn’t leave anything behind.”

“You didn’t.” She flicked a look at him. “Last night I’d carried my suitcase back into my bedroom to switch out a few things.”

“What things?”

“Pajamas that were…nicer.” She rolled her eyes. “Since you were coming along with me.”

Ah. He opened his hand on the side of her face then bent to see her eyes. “Nicer, as in sexier?”

“Yes.”

Well, damn. Sorry that he’d miss it, Jett stroked her cheek with his thumb. So damn soft. “You left it in your bedroom?”

She nodded miserably.

He tried not to smile at her woebegone expression. “Honey, when you’re sleeping with me, you won’t need pajamas of any kind, I promise.”

“I get cold at night—” She held up a hand, anticipating his claim that he’d keep her warm. “Seriously, Jett. I’m not at all comfortable with the idea of sleeping in the…”

“Raw?” Hell, just talking about it was stirring him. Again.

Her shoulders drooped. “The only clothes I have with me are the ones I’m wearing.”

“Doesn’t sound like a major problem from my end.” He pulled her closer. “I wouldn’t mind keeping you naked for the entire vacation. In fact, that sounds like one hell of a plan to me.”

She groaned. “I’m serious, Jett.”

“All right, sorry.” He could understand why she was upset, especially after the grueling day fighting the weather. “We’ll stop somewhere and you can pick up some stuff.”

“Of course we won’t.” She shook her head in resignation. “It’s already getting dark and the roads are terrible. If we finally make it to the stupid cabin, the last thing I’ll expect to do is shop.”

Trying to bite back his smile, Jett said, “I have extra boxers you can borrow.”

She swatted at him. “It’s not funny.”

“Funny, no. But I promise, you being naked will definitely be fun—for both of us.”

“You’re incorrigible.” She swatted him again. “I can’t spend all my time naked—and no, don’t insist that I can.”

He caught her hands and pulled her close for a kiss that made him forget all about the stupid weather. “Until the weather clears enough for us to shop, you can sleep in one of my shirts. It’ll fit you like a nightgown anyway.”

“That’ll help, thank you.” She rubbed at her forehead. “But God, this entire trip has been snakebit from the start.”

Including his companionship? He let out a breath and touched her downy cheek. He loved the feel of her skin, so warm and fundamentally female. “Why don’t you think of it as an adventure?” He went one further, saying without much thought, “Years from now, we’ll be laughing about it.”

The minute the words left his mouth, she stared at him. Jett stared back. Hell, he hadn’t actually meant to say that—but yeah, he could see them on a couch together, reminiscing about the trip from hell.

Even as they sat there, both of them uncertain what to say next, the gas station lights went off. Drawn from profound introspection, Jett turned his head and watched as the lone cashier locked up the place then went to a truck and carefully pulled out of the lot.

“Looks like we got refueled just in time.”

Buddy hung his head over the seat, his nose almost touching Natalie’s ear. His dour mood reflected hers. Every so often his ears lifted as if he hoped to hear something encouraging.

Natalie’s big brown eyes held a lot of uncertainty. And then her phone beeped. She jerked as if pulled from a daze. Scrambling, she located it in her purse and opened it.

“Getting reception now?”

She shook her head. “No, but I did get a message. I guess they can come through even when the calls won’t.”

“From your sister?” That would cheer her up.

“No.” She bit her bottom lip then groaned with dread. “It’s from the manager at the cabin rental.”

Now what? Jett wondered. He watched her face as she perused the message, seeing her dejection grow. “Let me guess. We can’t get to the cabin.”

“He says the roads are impassable. The best we can do is try to find a hotel for the night and hope things are better tomorrow.” She looked out the window. “But how can they be? The roads to the cabin aren’t paved, they’re gravel, winding through the woods, up and down hills. That’s why I chose the place—because it’s remote and private.”

Damn it, Jett would not let her trip be ruined. He patted her thigh. “I guess we better look for a hotel room, then.”

“He said he’ll reimburse me the down payment on the cabin.” She chewed her bottom lip and finally looked at him. “Jett, I am so sorry you got stuck on this wasted trip.”

Stuck? His irritation sharpened because that wasn’t how he saw it. Sure, the travel was tense, Natalie more so. But they were together, and for him, that had made it more than worthwhile.

Now, he needed Natalie to admit the same.

CHAPTER SEVEN

JETT SAT BACK IN HIS SEAT and gave her a remote look. “Do you honestly think I’d have been happier sitting at home, knowing you were out here alone in this fucking mess?”

At his coarse language, her eyes widened and her jaw loosened. “Jett.”

He ignored her chastising tone. “You were going, Natalie. With or without me, right?” That alone still burned his ass. He’d have missed her, but she’d planned to be away from him with no qualms at all. “Well let me tell you something, lady, given this shit weather, I’m damned glad I’m here, too, even if you aren’t.”

“Jett.” This time she said his name more softly, still in reprimand. She searched his face. “You’re actually glad you’re here?”

“Damn right. At least this way I can see that you’re fine instead of wondering if you were one of the cars stranded off the road.”

Her expressive face filled with tender emotion. “I guess I hadn’t thought about how that might bother you.”

Of course she hadn’t, because she thought of their relationship in terms of sex and only sex. He narrowed his eyes. “I’ve actually enjoyed talking to you while we’re both wearing clothes.”

Her mouth twitched. “Is that so?”

Knowing he sounded a little unhinged, not at all like his usual self, Jett gave one sharp nod. “But I’m definitely looking forward to having you all alone tonight, too. All night.” His abdomen clenched at just the thought. “With or without pajamas, Natalie, I’ll be keeping you close enough to stay warm, I promise.”

Her lips lifted in a slight smile. “I’m looking forward to that, too.”

“Then how the hell can you think this is a wasted trip?” The more he tried to reach her, the more annoyed he got. Sometimes it felt as if he was fighting a losing battle. Only he refused to lose. Ever.

But especially with her.

“You’re right, and I’m sorry.” She touched his shoulder. “I’m very glad you’re here, please don’t doubt that. Except for worrying about a wreck, you’ve made the trip…fun.”

She took the wind out of his sails, leaving him scowling for no reason at all. “All right then.” Left with nothing else to say, Jett put the SUV in Drive and turned out of the parking lot.

As Natalie reached for the food on the floor, she fell silent, prompting him to additional nagging. Never in his life had he nagged, but now, he couldn’t seem to stop.

His jaw tightened. “You know, it’s damn frustrating how you do that.”

Surprised, she lifted her brows at him. “What’s that?”

“The way you disconnect from me.” It was dicey getting off the roads that hadn’t been cleared. Carefully, Jett veered onto the highway. “In bed, you’re always crystal clear. I know just what you want, when you want it.”

Giving him a heated perusal, she said, “I know.”

Her acknowledgement of their sexual compatibility kicked him in the gut, making his blood rush, his skin burn.

But damn it, he had to stay on track. “The thing is, out of bed you’re so damn complex. Half the time I can’t figure you out.”

Natalie tilted her head. “Maybe that’s because there’s nothing to figure out. My life is boring.”

“How can you say that? You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met.” Every time she revealed another piece of herself, Jett somehow felt more whole, as if each step closer to her helped to fill up the empty places inside him.

He shook his head at that morbidly poetic thought; damn it, he did not have empty places. What bullshit.

“No way.”

“You’re kidding right?” How could she be so unaware of herself? “Look at you. You’re sexy as hell, but you don’t seem to know it. You burn me up in bed, but outside of bed you’re this perfect little teacher.”

Her brows came down as if that someone insulted her. “Perfect little teacher?”

Jett laughed. “So many contrasts with you.” Maybe that was it—the contrasts intrigued him. But… “I even enjoyed watching you interact with my family.”

She hesitated. “That was actually sort of scary.”

“Meeting my sisters?” Yeah, they were outgoing and often outrageous, but they weren’t bullies. “Why?”

Busying herself with arranging the food, Natalie spoke casually, maybe hoping he wouldn’t hear the gravity in her words. “Comparisons, I guess.”

Jett considered that. From what he’d learned, her family was the exact opposite of his. He had hoped the contrasts would show her how nice things could be. But maybe it hadn’t worked out like that. “Elaborate on that, will you?”

She took a drink of her cola and set his—with the straw inserted—in the cup holder. “I liked them. A lot. It was confusing but fun to be in the middle of the chaos your sisters create.”

Jett hadn’t considered things all that chaotic, not like when the whole clan got together. Holidays were especially nuts, but in a terrific way.

Natalie handed him his hot dog, and he ate it in two bites. She lifted his cola for him to take a drink then returned it to the cup holder.

As if they’d been coordinating this sort of thing for years, they worked in complete harmony. On a gut level, Jett had known that it would be like this with her. Hopefully this trip would convince her of the same.

But if he came on too strong, if he got too insistent, she’d bolt. He knew it. It was another of those contrasts he’d mentioned: she had no inhibitions in bed, but outside of sex, he’d never seen a woman so skittish of commitment.

Somewhere in her past, someone had hurt her.

Now, with the distant relationships of her family, she had few people to count on.

For at least the near future, he’d be by her side, protecting her, sharing with her, just being with her.

And with that thought in mind, Jett prompted, “The scary part?”

While gathering her thoughts, she fed him a chip. “Around our house, everything was always solemn and circumspect. After my mother left us, we usually only saw our father when he needed to lecture us on something or when his social affairs required that he trot out the sterling offspring.”

Jett felt sick at such an upbringing, but even more than that, the way she’d said her mother “left” them—not that she’d passed away but that she’d left—caused him concern.

“There were very few meals with my father,” Natalie told him, “but when he was there, it was silent. We were at the table to eat, not to joke, not to bother him. We had to show perfect manners.”

Yet she’d eaten pizza at his table with a stray dog under her feet. “That sucks.”

She lifted her hot dog in a salute. “For Dad, the idea of eating fast food in a car while traveling would be obscene.”

“Fuck it.” Fuck him. “I’m having a good time.”

Natalie laughed as she fed him another chip. “Me too.”

She didn’t realize he was dead serious. Bad weather and road conditions aside, he was finally getting her to open up. He’d brave hell for that, so what did icy roads matter?

“When we did see Dad at home, it was in passing, as he was on his way out to another appointment. Sometimes he’d be gone for days, even a week or more. He didn’t keep us apprised of his itinerary, but when he wasn’t around we just assumed he was off on business.”

“He sounds like an unfeeling prick.”

She laughed again, but this time there wasn’t much humor in the sound. “That about covers it.” Her laugh faded to a secret little smile.

Enjoying the sight of that, Jett asked, “What?”

“I was thinking of my sister.” She shook her head with the memory. “Dad’s library was one of the rooms off-limits to us, so of course, that’s where Molly liked to go. I told her I didn’t care about his stupid library, but the truth was, I didn’t dare go in there.”

Lethal rage put a stranglehold on Jett. “What would he have done if he’d found you there?”

Natalie stroked his arm in comfort. “He didn’t abuse us physically, Jett. Not ever. Dad’s idea of punishment was a threat to separate us.”

And since they had only each other, that threat would be worse than anything else. “Separate you how?”

“Boarding school, summer camp, things like that. Looking back, I realize those were idle threats because Dad never spent money on things like that for us. He says that he wanted us to grow up independent of his wealth and social standing. He wanted us to make our own way.”

“So you attended public school?”

“Yes. We aced classes and we were always well dressed, because anything less would have reflected on him. But the extracurricular stuff that helps you bond with peers, like band or dance or drama…no way. I think that’s why Molly turned to books.”

“As an escape?”

“Yes. And it turned out well since she’s now a very popular writer.”

Jett could hear the pride whenever Natalie talked of her sister, but he knew that Natalie must have been equally influenced by the conditions of her life. “Why’d you become a teacher?”

The defroster ran on high, and still it could barely keep the ice off the windshield. More and more cars and trucks were showing up in ditches and over the median. Buddy now treated them to the resonance of a doggy snore. The weather outside the SUV served to blanket them in a unique form of intimacy. Jett could almost hear his own heartbeat, and hers.

For only a moment she looked out the side window, but then she turned her gaze back to Jett, searching for understanding, for things he desperately wanted to give her.

“I always remembered how it felt,” she whispered. “All though school, I was different when I shouldn’t have been. Unlike the kids who had real issues, my life was charmed.”

Would she always be so hard on herself? “Your issues were real.”

Natalie shook her head, and her hands fisted. “Not really, not like the kid who’s being physically abused at home, or the child with a physical or mental deformity. Even compared to the kids who were just unpopular because they weren’t as pretty or as well-to-do as some of the others, I was better off.” She stared at Jett. “Kids can be so damn cruel, when being a kid is hard enough.”

That bothered Jett because for him, life had been pretty fantastic. He couldn’t remember ever being singled out for any unfavorable reason. Usually just the opposite.

His classmates had liked him; he’d been one of the popular kids.

He’d done his fair share to combat bullies, and whenever possible he’d gone out of his way to befriend the kids who were ostracized. But then, he’d had parents who taught him sympathy and compassion in the same way that they’d encouraged him in everything from sports to education to…any damn thing he’d ever wanted to do.

“So like my sister, I’m glad for what my upbringing brought me. It’s taught me how to recognize the kids who are really troubled, and now I’m in a position to help. At least most of the time.”

“Most of the time?”

“There was one boy…he was so withdrawn, so antagonistic. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t realize how bad it was. He wouldn’t confide in me, and I couldn’t reach his mother on the phone.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “He was homeless, Jett. His dad had passed away and his mother took off on her own, and he had…no one.”

Despite the treacherous conditions of the icy road, Jett reached for her hand. “You can’t know everything about everybody, honey. Kids are good at hiding things, especially when they feel shamed by their circumstances.”

Natalie nodded without conviction. “Only a few days after I went to the administration to request that they somehow get hold of his parents, they found his body in an alley. Accidental overdose, they said.”

Jett cursed softly, hurting for Natalie and for the boy who’d been neglected. “Nothing hits you like the death of a kid.”

Her hand clutched his hard. “You say that like a man with personal experience.”

“Yeah.” He shifted, uncomfortable with some memories. “I’ve been hired to find plenty of runaways.” And those were always the most urgent cases for him. “Sometimes the end result is good, sometimes not.”

To let her know that he did understand, Jett expounded on one experience. “There was this mom who hired me to locate her thirteen-year-old daughter. The girl had left home and was missing for three weeks.”

“You found her?”

He’d found her all right—and thank God that he had. “She wanted no part of going home. Turns out, her stepdaddy was a sick fuck.”

“Oh God.” Natalie curled a fist to her mouth. “That poor girl.”

“Yeah. When I told the mother, she refused to believe it. She even accused the girl of just wanting to ruin her happiness.” It sickened Jett to remember how incredulous the mother had been, how she’d accused her daughter of lying.

Stupid bitch.

Head turned in suspicion, Natalie asked, “What did you do?”

“I wanted to do exactly what you’re thinking I did.”

“Beat him to a pulp?”

“Yeah. But that wouldn’t have helped the kid any, so instead, hard as it was, I followed the law to the letter. I went to the authorities—and I took her with me.”

Natalie let out a breath. “I’m so glad you didn’t leave her there.”

“That wasn’t an option. I told her if she came with me, I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her—and I meant it.” Even with the proper people who handled such things, he hadn’t wanted to let her out of his sight. “She was placed in foster care, but she kept my card with my number in case shit went south again.”

Arrested, Natalie stared at him in near awe. “She’s okay now?”

“Yeah.” He couldn’t help but smile. “She’s…let’s see. Almost fifteen now. So she’s been with these foster parents for over a year. They love her and she adores them. She still has some issues.” He glanced at Natalie with meaning. “You know, you don’t just get over stuff that bad. But she’s doing great.”

“You still talk with her?”

Jett shrugged. “Sure. She keeps in touch, and I do the same.” He’d sent her a card on her birthday, and sometimes he sent her cards just for the hell of it, those goofy cards meant to give a smile.

“You’re amazing, Jett.”

“What?” Blustering at the compliment, he shook his head. “No, don’t go that route. That’s not the point I was trying to make. I was showing what a difference it can mean to kids if someone cares the way you do.”

“Thanks. But you’re still amazing.” She smiled and seemed to draw her thoughts together. “Your sisters are amazing, too. Confident and beautiful and fun. They’re happy, anyone can see that.”

He spoke with utter sincerity, saying, “You’re all those things too.”

Her silly smile told him that she didn’t believe him. “My father is so…staid, that around our house we never had the unrestrained conversation and laughter that happened today at the clinic. I enjoyed it. I would have taken part if I’d known how.”

Deciding that he’d make it so, Jett said, “You’ll learn how, I promise.”

“And then what?” She watched him in that curious way of hers, her gaze wary and hopeful at once. “I get used to your wonderful family, I get used to you, and then if things don’t work out…” She lifted her shoulders in question.

Back to square one, damn it. Jett squeezed the steering wheel. “I would never hurt you, Natalie.”

“Not on purpose, no. I believe that.” She sounded so reasonable, so detached that it made him nuts and made him want her. “I meant what I said, Jett. You’re wonderful. In so many ways.”

Because he knew she drew unfavorable comparisons, it put his teeth on edge. “You’re wonderful too, damn it.”

Instead of replying to that, she said, “The differences in our families are pretty stark.” She wadded up the garbage from their meal and stuffed it all into one bag. “I assume you know that already, being you’re a sleuth and all that.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re on thin ice, lady. One more crack about me snooping—”

Her mood lightened at his feigned temper. “You did snoop!”

“Smartass.” He grinned at her. “I don’t know everything about you, not by a long shot. But even with what I do know, I’d still like to hear details from you.”

She sobered. “So…you don’t know about my mother?”

The new tension in her tone felt like a fist closing around his heart. “I know she died when you were young. That’s all.” He’d seen no reason to delve beyond that, seeing it as grave enough, awful enough, without added details.