Modern Romance May 2020 Books 5-8

The detective stood up and came out. He stopped in front of Apollo. ‘I’ll have a team sent to look for the crashed car immediately. And your wife’s body. We should find Ms Jones’s documents in the car if they haven’t been destroyed. That will help clear things up.’

‘Thank you.’

When the detective had disappeared the doctor said, ‘We’ll keep Sophy in for the rest of the night as a precaution, but she should be okay to go home tomorrow. It’s going to take her some time to adjust to having her memory back. Be gentle with her.’

Apollo’s mind was instantly filled with vivid images of making love to her with a desperation that hadn’t exactly been gentle. His conscience smarted. Had sex precipitated her memory’s return?

The doctor was waiting for his response. He said, ‘Of course.’

She walked away and Apollo went into the suite.

Sophy knew when Apollo walked in. A volt of electricity went through her blood. Steeling herself, she turned her head to look at him. She quailed inwardly. His expression was stony. She had a sense of déjà vu from when she’d regained consciousness after the accident to find him with a similar expression.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘Okay, I think. My head feels full again.’ She put a hand to it briefly.

Apollo looked at her for a long moment. ‘Can you tell me one thing?’

She nodded, tensing inwardly. There was so much she had to explain but she needed to make sense of it herself first.

He asked. ‘Was it you that night? The night we met?’

Something inside her relaxed a little. That was an easy question. ‘Yes, it was me.’

An expression crossed his face fleetingly. Too quick for her to decipher. She tensed again. What would he make of that information?

He took a step back from the bed. ‘I’ll leave you now. The doctor said you need to rest. I’ll come back in the morning.’

Sophy watched as he turned to leave. She only noticed now that he was wearing sweat pants and a long-sleeved top. Hair mussed. Not his usual pristine self. The thought that he hadn’t showered since they’d made love made her skin prickle with awareness. She wondered how on earth she could be feeling so carnal after what had just happened.

After what she and her sister had put him through. He was almost at the door and on an impulse she called out, ‘Wait... Apollo?’

He stopped and turned around. A muscle clenched in his jaw. ‘Yes?’

Her fingers plucked at the sheet nervously. ‘I just wanted to say... I’m so sorry. For everything.’

Apollo nodded tersely. ‘We’ll talk about it when you’re ready. Get some rest.’

He walked out, closing the door behind him. That was the problem. Sophy didn’t think she’d ever be ready to talk about it. She sagged back against the pillows. She felt more fatigued than she’d ever felt in her life.

There was little relief in remembering everything, even though she was grateful to have her memory back. To have herself back.

Sasha was dead.

She knew it instinctively, if not factually yet. There was no way she could have survived that crash. Sophy was still too numb with shock to fully absorb the death of her sister who she had loved more than life itself for so long. But who had also caused her more heartache than anyone else.

To say they’d had a complicated relationship was an understatement, but Sophy would never have guessed that Sasha would go as far as she had to engineer a good life for herself.

She’d also never forget that awful last haunting image of Sasha, pushing her free of the doomed car and saying, ‘I won’t take you with me.’

For all of her faults and frailties, her sister had saved her twice in her life...

Oh, Sash...what did you do?

Tears filled Sophy’s eyes and she turned her head to the wall, unable to stem the rising tide of emotion that engulfed her. She realised she wasn’t just crying for her sister, she was also crying because she now remembered everything that had happened the night she’d slept with Apollo.

She remembered why he hadn’t pursued her after their night together.

Because he hadn’t wanted to see her again. Because she’d been inexperienced, a virgin.

And now she knew why. Because he’d told her he didn’t do relationships after losing his entire family.

So not only had she lost her sister and realised she’d been betrayed by her too, she’d also remembered that she’d fallen for Apollo all those months ago, when they’d first met.

And they’d never had a chance.

Two days later

Sophy’s nerves were wound tight. She’d had a reprieve of sorts from facing Apollo and the inevitable discussion since returning to the villa because he’d had an emergency meeting to attend in London.

He’d left her in the capable hands of Kara and Rhea and the doctor had come to check on her that morning. Apollo must have explained everything to his staff because at one point Sophy had attempted to start to tell Rhea but she’d just patted her hand and shaken her head, saying, ‘You don’t need to tell us. We knew something was different. We’re sorry for your sister.’

Sophy had been inordinately touched, especially after everything Sasha had put them through. She knew how difficult her sister could be. She’d endured a lifetime of it and had never been quite able to break away completely.

They’d been living together in London and that was how Sophy had ended up covering for Sasha that night at the function where she’d met Apollo and where she’d had to call herself Sasha. It had been a classic Sasha request: ‘Cover for me, Soph, please! This other thing has cropped up—I’ll lose my job!’

She’d done it, of course. Just as she’d said yes to most of Sasha’s requests. After all, she’d owed Sasha so much... If it hadn’t been for her sister, Sophy might not even be—

There was a sound behind Sophy on the terrace and she looked around. It was Kara. ‘Kyrie Vasilis is in his study—he’d like to see you.’

Sophy’s heart thudded against her breastbone. She’d known Apollo was due back but hadn’t heard him return.

She’d dug through all of Sasha’s clothes to find something vaguely suitable to face him and she’d found an unworn shirt dress, blue stripes, with a black belt. Wedge sandals. It was strange, looking at Sasha’s choice of clothes now and realising why they’d never felt like her. Because she and her sister had always had diametrically opposed taste, in everything.

Sasha had been flamboyant, into fashion and pop culture. Always ambitious for a life more glamorous than the one they’d experienced growing up in a small market town outside London.

Sophy had been bookish and studious. Into clothes that made her fade into the background. She’d been happy to let Sasha shine but for the first time in her life she found herself wondering uneasily why it had been so easy for her to let Sasha claim the limelight.

She was outside Apollo’s study now and had to collect herself. She knocked on the door and there was an abrupt, ‘Come in.’

She took a deep breath and steeled herself but seeing Apollo after a couple of days’ absence hit her straight in the chest like a sledgehammer. He was wearing a dark grey three-piece suit. And he’d never looked more gorgeous. His physicality was overwhelming, as if she was seeing him all over again with new eyes.

He was also a million miles away from the man who had been uncharacteristically dishevelled at the hospital.

Her heart skipped a beat and she sounded breathless when she said, ‘Kara told me you wanted to see me.’

Had his gaze always been so dark green and unnervingly direct? He pulled at his tie and opened the top button of his shirt. ‘How are you feeling?’

Dizzy.

But Sophy knew that had nothing to do with regaining her memory and everything to do with him.

‘Fine. Much better. Thank you.’

He went over to the drinks cabinet and asked if she wanted anything. She shook her head. He poured himself a shot of golden spirits.

Something inside her ached. A few days ago she’d lain in this man’s arms, their bodies entwined. Her soul had sung. Now there was a gaping chasm between them. And how could she blame him?

Apollo downed the shot he’d just poured. It did little to calm his thundering heart or douse the heat in his blood. He’d hoped that a couple of days’ distance from Sophy and time to absorb all the revelations would somehow miraculously defuse this intense need he had for her...but as soon as she’d walked into the room his blood had boiled over.

He’d never expected to see her again after that night in his apartment in London. He’d told himself he didn’t want to see her again but the relief he’d felt when she’d turned up in his office in London had made a mockery of that.

Dealing with Sasha had been easy because she hadn’t been Sophy. Now he had to deal with Sophy.

He poured himself another shot and turned around.

Sophy hoped her emotions weren’t as nakedly obvious as she feared. She’d never been as adept at hiding them as her sister. She had no idea what would happen now. What to expect. What she wanted.

You still want Apollo, whispered a voice.

She pushed it down.

Apollo came over and stood with the window at his back. It cast him into shadow slightly, making him look even bigger.

‘I need to tell you something.’

She swallowed. ‘Okay.’

‘The detective contacted me. They found the car. And they found a body... They’ve identified your sister by her dental records and the DNA sample you provided.’

Sophy sat down on the chair behind her, the wind knocked out of her, even though this wasn’t a surprise.

‘Are you sure you don’t want a drink?’

She shook her head. ‘No, it’s okay.’ She looked at him. ‘Did they find anything else?’

He nodded. ‘Your bag, with your passport and personal items. There was luggage in the boot but it was ruined. Your things will be returned to you once they’ve been catalogued. They’ve ruled her death as accidental.’

Sophy sucked in a sharp breath. ‘Was...was there any suggestion it wasn’t?’

Apollo’s face was expressionless. ‘They have to look at everything. You’d just arrived on a flight from London that morning. Sasha picked you up from the airport?’

Sophy nodded.

‘Yes.’ Her voice sounded raw.

Apollo said, ‘We can do this later, or tomorrow.’

She shook her head again. ‘No, I know you have questions and you deserve answers.’

She steeled herself but wasn’t prepared when Apollo said, ‘I’m sorry for your loss, Sophy. I know what it’s like to lose a sibling. I might not have liked Sasha very much but she was your sister and you must have loved her.’

Sophy couldn’t stop the tears that sprang into her eyes. She stood up and fished a handkerchief out of the pocket of the dress. She went over to the other window and gathered herself.

Apollo said from behind her, ‘We really don’t have to do this now.’

Sophy swallowed down her emotion and turned around when she felt more composed. ‘No. It’s okay. Really.’

She said, ‘I know Sasha was...a difficult person. More than anyone. But I did love her. I owed her a lot...’

Apollo frowned. ‘What are you talking about?’

She looked at him. ‘When I was eight, I contracted leukaemia. I needed a bone-marrow transplant. Because we were identical twins, Sasha’s bone marrow matched mine so she was asked to donate her marrow.’

Apollo said nothing so she went on, ‘She had no choice really, and she never forgave me for having to go through the painful donor procedure without the benefit of actually being sick and getting the attention. I think, unconsciously, I spent my life making it up to her.’

Sophy had never really analysed that before now but something clicked into place inside her as if finally she was acknowledging the role she’d given her sister out of a misplaced sense of guilt.

Apollo said, ‘That must have been traumatic. The illness.’

Sophy made a face. ‘A lot of it has faded with time. In a way, Sasha’s constant demand for attention helped to distract from the memories...

‘She was never content with what she had. She lied about our parents to people, friends in school. They were too boring for her. Our father was a postman and our mother was a part-time secretary for the local doctor’s office. We had a perfectly happy home life, albeit modest. The worst thing that happened was that they both died within a year of each other, when we’d just left school. My father had a heart attack and then my mother contracted breast cancer.

‘After they died, Sasha wanted to move up to London to make her mark. She’d never been happy in our little town. I went with her because the truth is I felt lost without her. She’d been the dominant one for so long.’

Sophy looked away from Apollo as she admitted that. She’d let Sasha dominate her, a dynamic they’d played out since they were children, exacerbated by her illness.

Apollo asked, ‘Why is your name different from hers if you’re sisters? Her name is Miller on her passport and papers.’

Sophy forced herself to look at him again. He was frowning. ‘Sasha took our mother’s maiden name, changed it legally—she thought it sounded more interesting than Jones. She did it when she was going through a phase of wanting to be an actress.’

Apollo paced away and back, and then stood at the window for a moment with his back to Sophy. It all made sense in a sick kind of way. He’d met Sasha. He could attest to her ruthless deviousness. If anything, he suspected that Sophy hadn’t really acknowledged half of what her sister had been capable of. The woman had tried to seduce him so she could try and get pregnant for real.

Her childhood illness... It tugged on him deep inside. Imagining a small girl with huge blue eyes and light red hair losing that hair because of chemotherapy. Being subjected to all manner of invasive procedures.

To counteract the sense of sympathy he felt, Apollo turned around again. Sophy’s chin was tipped up, as if she was mentally preparing for the next onslaught. He pushed down the surge of something more than sympathy. He needed to know.

‘That night in London. Why did you pretend to be your sister?’

Sophy’s insides clenched with guilt. ‘Because I wasn’t meant to be there. I work—worked—as a receptionist in a solicitor’s office. Sasha asked me to cover for her. She was double-jobbing at another event. It wasn’t unheard of for me to cover for her like that. I didn’t tell you my real name afterwards because I was afraid she’d get into trouble and lose her job with the event company.’

He frowned. ‘Why didn’t you tell me the following night when I took you for dinner? When we slept together?’

How could she explain how overwhelming it had been for a man like Apollo to show interest in her? Mousy Sophy. She lifted a hand and let it drop. ‘I should have told you...but I couldn’t believe that you wanted me. Sasha was the one who was confident. Glamorous. Not me.’

She shrugged minutely. ‘Somehow it felt more appropriate to be her...not me.’

She winced inwardly, knowing how ridiculous that sounded. Apollo shook his head. ‘I wanted you, not your sister. I think we’ve established that pretty comprehensively.’

A wave of heat, uncontrollable, moved up inside Sophy’s body. She clamped down on her response, terrified he’d see the effect of his words. His gaze was too direct, too incisive. She felt as if she was being sliced open and all her vulnerabilities and frailties being laid bare for inspection.

She put her arms around herself and walked over to the window again, staring out unseeingly. Maybe if she didn’t look at him as she tried to explain, it would be easier?

‘The truth is that I felt out of my depth with you. Really out of my depth. You were suave and cultured. Way out of my league. Sasha was more experienced than me—’

Apollo cut in, ‘You mean she wasn’t a virgin? Unlike you.’

Sophy’s face burned at that reminder. Her arms were so tight around herself now she was in danger of cutting off her air supply. ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’

‘Well, I did.’

Yes, he had.

And Sophy could now remember his reaction in full glorious Technicolor. She remembered being so caught up in the moment that when he’d thrust into her and it had hurt, she’d tensed all over.

He’d looked down at her. ‘Sasha? Are you—?’

Terrified he’d stop, she’d put her hands on his buttocks and said, ‘Please, don’t stop.’

For a torturous moment he hadn’t moved. She’d felt impaled, stunned at the feeling of being so invaded, but then he’d started to move and the pressure and pain had eased.

What had followed had been nothing short of life-changing. Earth-shattering. She’d still been lying in a sated stupor when she’d felt him leave the bed and heard the shower come on in his bathroom.

A few minutes later, he’d emerged with a towel around his lean hips, his face rigid with anger.

‘What the hell? You were a virgin.’

Sophy had reached for the sheet to cover herself, suddenly feeling very small and exposed. ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’

He’d emitted a curt, unamused laugh. ‘Notice? How could I not? Why didn’t you tell me?’

He’d spoken before she could formulate a response. ‘I seduced you because I thought you were experienced...that you knew.’

‘Knew what?’

He’d run a hand through his damp hair, muscles rippling, making Sophy’s tender inner muscles clench again in reaction.

‘Knew how these things go. Knew not to expect anything more.’

‘More than what?’ She’d known she’d sounded like a parrot but had been unable to stop herself.

‘More than one night.’ He’d folded his arms. ‘I don’t sleep with virgins, Sasha. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have touched you.’

The thought that she might not have made love with this man had been a physical pain. ‘But...why?’

A scarily blank expression had come over his face. He was like a statue. ‘Because virgins are innocent and have expectations. The kind of expectations I can’t, and don’t want to, meet.’

‘What do you mean?’

He’d emitted something that had sounded like a curse and his green eyes had narrowed on her face. ‘Can you deny that you’d thought this was something more? That this wasn’t just about sex?’

Mortified heat had flooded up her body and into her face. She had thought there was something between them. Romantic. Unique.

He’d seen it instantly. ‘That’s what I’m talking about. An expectation of something more. I don’t do relationships, Sasha. I have no desire for a girlfriend. I have short-term relationships with women who know better than to attach emotion to the proceedings. This is just sex for me.’

She’d winced at that.

He’d said icily, ‘This ends here now. Take a shower and get dressed. When you’re ready I’ll have my driver take you home.’

Sophy’s focus came back to the present. It wasn’t much comfort that she had more context now for why Apollo would have found seducing a virgin so unappealing. He was averse to relationships after losing his family. And she knew what that loss felt like. Ironic that they had so much in common.

She turned to face him, steeling herself not to show him how the memory of that night flayed her.

Apollo tried to resist the image of intense vulnerability Sophy displayed when she faced him again. Arms wrapped around herself. Her cheeks had two bright pink spots but the rest of her face was pale.

It didn’t help that images of that first night they’d spent together kept intruding on his thoughts. The way her hair had spread out around her head like a halo of fire.

Little flame.

He gritted his jaw and bit out, ‘We really don’t have to continue this now if you’re not up to it.’

She looked at him. ‘No, I want to do this now. Maybe I will have a small drink, though.’

Apollo went over and poured her a measure of brandy. He brought it over and said gruffly, ‘Sit down, before you fall down.’

She sat down again in the chair and he handed her the drink. He let her take a sip, and sat back on the edge of his desk. ‘Were you and your sister in on the act together? Was she sent to me a month later because you didn’t have the nerve?’

Sophy sat up straighter, a look of shock and horror crossing her face. ‘That’s... No, it wasn’t like that. I had no idea.’

Apollo forced himself to resist trusting his first impression of her innocence. ‘You weren’t working together?’

‘Not at all. How can you think that?’

‘How did she end up in my office then? Telling me she was pregnant, if you weren’t working together? How did she know if you hadn’t told her?’

He saw the slim pale column of her throat work as she swallowed. She avoided his eye, as if ashamed. ‘Sasha and I lived together. She knew something had happened...she eventually got me to confide in her. I told her your name. I know Sasha had her faults, but I never in a million years thought that she would use that private information. She looked you up, kept going on about how I should contact you, try to go out with you again...but I wouldn’t.’

She looked at him again. ‘After all, you’d left me in no doubt as to how you felt about seeing me again.’

His conscience smarted. Yes, he’d told her that but he also hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind in the following days, weeks. Making a total mockery of his words to her.

Sophy continued, ‘It was around the time of our birthday and Sasha said she was concerned about me, so she bought me a return flight to one of the Canary Islands for a holiday. I didn’t want to go but she insisted.’

Apollo said. ‘Go on.’

‘By the time I got back she was gone. She’d left a note saying something about securing our future. Then I saw it in the papers. Your marriage.’

Apollo remembered the feeling of claustrophobia that day. ‘If you weren’t working together, when you heard about the marriage, why didn’t you contact me to tell me who she was, who you were? That she was tricking me?’

Sophy looked sheepish. ‘I didn’t know about the pregnancy. It wasn’t inconceivable to me that you’d met Sasha and had been more attracted to her. That you’d wanted something more with her.’

Apollo felt a surge of anger mixed with frustration rise up inside him. Before he could say anything Sophy cut in, ‘I know it sounds pathetic. But in a weird way it made sense. I’d been innocent and you hadn’t wanted to see me again. Sasha was experienced...the experienced version of me. I felt like you’d seen something in her that I hadn’t been able to give you, and that had made you fall for her. I know how convincing Sasha could be.’

Apollo grimaced at that. The fact that he’d fallen for her act negated his anger a little. Sasha had managed to dupe them both.

He stood up again, paced back and forth. ‘Why did you come to Athens?’

Sophy fought not to squirm under that exacting gaze. ‘Sasha rang me, she was hysterical. Incoherent. It must have been when you found out she wasn’t pregnant. When you’d shown her the divorce papers. She begged me to come as soon as I could... I arrived the next morning.’

She went on. ‘I couldn’t even understand half of what she was saying when she picked me up at the airport. She was gabbling about you not wanting her, and that I needed to go and pretend to be her so I could seduce you...’

Apollo went very still. ‘She was hoping that if you switched places, I’d suddenly want you and in spite of everything sleep with you and get you pregnant?’