Полная версия
8 Brand-New Romance Authors
* * *
Micah needed to find something to do if she couldn’t sleep, because staring at Josh wasn’t going to work. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she tiptoed to the bathroom.
She lowered the cover to the toilet seat and sat down and reached for a magazine. “How to Please Your Man” was plastered on the front cover. Thoughts filled her mind. Warmth crept up her neck and filled her cheeks. She placed a cold hand on her face to suppress the overwhelming heat taking over. She threw the magazine back down. Bad idea.
She reached for another, much tamer magazine. This was the longest night ever. The close proximity was killing her. Flipping off the light, she tiptoed back through the living room and toward the kitchen. Would she be able to make some tea without waking him?
She filled the teakettle with water and placed it on the burner. Then turned on the stove top and reached for a mug.
“Can’t sleep?”
She almost dropped the mug. Spinning at the sound of his voice, she could barely see him in the darkness of the kitchen. “You could warn a girl instead of sneaking up on her.”
“Not as much fun.”
Boy, did he sound good with his early-morning sleepy voice.
Focus, Micah. Focus.
“Did I wake you?”
“Yeah, but it’s no biggie.” There was that voice again. Don’t ask him any more questions.
“Sorry. I’m making some tea. Do you want some?”
“Sure.”
Josh leaned against the kitchen wall while the water boiled. Why was it that water took so long to boil?
His hair was tousled and T-shirt rumpled. It would be so easy to take two steps and stand in front of him, rest her hands at his waist and lean into him. The way he stood practically invited her to do it. She would just have to take two steps. That’s all that separated them.
She couldn’t do it, though. It would ruin everything.
The hiss of the teapot caused her to jump. She turned to reach for it at the same time he did.
“Oops. Sorry.”
“I can get it.”
Their hands brushed up against each other, their bodies so close. She looked up at him. He looked down at her. Something in his gaze was different—fiery, full of desire.
Her eyes dropped to his lips, but the moment she realized what she had done, she knew she should turn her eyes away. Look anywhere else but at him, at his lips.
She couldn’t. His tongue peeked out, quickly wetting his lips.
It happened before she even realized it was happening. She wasn’t even sure if she moved first or if he did, but somehow she found her lips against his and it felt good. It was hesitant at first, slowly building. He knew what he was doing, whereas Micah...had been out of practice for a while...a long while.
Gently he backed her up until she felt the solidity of rough brick behind her. She was trapped between a wall and an immovable man. Never before had the thought of confinement been so enticing.
A heavenly rush swept through her body as his hands traveled down her sides, gripping her hips. His kiss was demanding, bruising. The rough edges of the brick wall scratched against the delicate skin of her back as his body leaned heavily against her. His fingertips dug into her flesh as he pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss.
The intense push and pull didn’t end with him. She gave back just as much. Her greedy hands slid under his shirt, fingers splayed on his strong, broad back. Desire caused her to sink her nails into his skin as she held on for dear life.
His large hands slid down her hips and gripped her thighs, lifting her up and setting her down on the kitchen counter. His hands remained on her thighs as she pulled him in closer to her. She arched her back, needing as much of her to touch as much of him as possible.
“Micah.” The way he spoke her name, with such reverence, such passion, stirred her deep within.
“Say it again.”
TWELVE
“Micah.”
She woke in a full-body sweat. Again. She pushed damp strands of hair back from her face and threw the cover off her body. Pulling herself up from the chair she had slept in, she noticed the couch across from her was vacant.
It had only been a dream.
She released the deep breath she had been holding. Thank God.
“Micah, you want any coffee?”
She padded to the kitchen in her slippers, the smell of coffee permeating the air. Josh looked just as he had in the dream. Her fingers tingled, itched to touch him, to run through his tousled hair, to reenact the dream still vivid in her mind.
She curled her fingers into a tight fist, bringing the errant tingling into submission. Control yourself, woman!
“Coffee?” Oh, his voice even sounded like she had imagined, all gravelly and rough with sleep.
“Yes, please.” She sat on the barstool at the kitchen counter. He turned and set a cup of hot coffee in front of her, but avoided eye contact. That was fine with her. She couldn’t have him analyzing her and finding out about her late-night musings. Her thoughts were never safe with the way he read her like a book.
“I’m gonna start clearing off my truck, then we can go pick up your car. We may have to dig it out, though.”
“Okay. I’ll get dressed.”
Ten minutes later she found Josh outside, meticulously removing all evidence of snow from his truck. She wouldn’t dare offer to help. He never let anyone touch his baby. She jumped into the cab and waited for him.
When they pulled up to the coffee-shop parking lot, her car was barely visible. It appeared to be more a giant mound of snow than a vehicle.
“This is going to be fun.” Josh parked the truck and looked over at her. “You ready?”
“As ready as I will ever be.”
* * *
Josh couldn’t believe she didn’t remember. He had walked on eggshells all morning, waiting for the awkward conversation that never came.
He looked over at her. Micah softly hummed to herself as she was hard at work on the one side of her car while he tackled the other side.
They had to shovel around the car just to get close to it. Despite the frigid temperature, Josh had worked up quite a sweat. Slowly but surely they were uncovering her little car.
He looked up at her again. She really was oblivious to what had happened last night.
Josh had woken to the sound of her walking around the apartment. It had been dark, but he’d found her in the kitchen, where she appeared to be making tea. But tea never happened.
Still in a sleepy haze, he hadn’t been able to control himself and apparently neither had she. The heated make-out session had annihilated any semblance of control he thought he still possessed. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected her to be so responsive to him.
Her uninhibited passion in all of its blinding glory was far more beautiful than his finite imagination could ever have made up.
And she didn’t remember a thing about it. Had she been sleepwalking? Or was it sleep kissing? Oh, God. If that was how she kissed in her sleep, he wouldn’t be able to handle a kiss with her fully awake and not drunk.
Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. If she didn’t remember and had truly been unaware of what transpired between them, then there was no harm done. If he could just go on as though it had never happened, she would never know.
Micah must have pushed the scraper a little too hard, because it slipped and sent snow flying into the air in his direction. He tried to duck out of its path, but failed, getting hit on the side of his face.
He couldn’t pass up this opportunity. He reached down, grabbed some snow and shot back up, tossing a snowball right at her.
“Hey! We are trying to clean off the car, not put more back on it!” She countered with a snowball that just missed his shoulder.
“You started it.”
Snowballs went flying through the air, rapid-fire. He threw then dodged, accidentally nailing her in the head once or twice. He felt a small pang of guilt, but got over it quickly. She would survive.
Micah hid behind the car, attempting to make as much ammunition as she could, but he was onto her. He quietly crept around the car. And as he peeked from behind the trunk, he could see her stand abruptly and fire one toward where he had been standing. She stood on her tiptoes to see if she could find him. He took the opportunity, lunged from the rear of the car and tackled her into the snow.
A spark of heat jolted him as he fell to the ground on top of her. Her body was warm beneath his, a stark contrast to the icy, wet snow that engulfed them. His face was mere inches from hers. It had started to snow again, and tiny snowflakes floated all around her.
He watched as they slowly came to rest on her hair, forming a halo about her. He was entranced by the sight of her. His mouth moved on its own accord, without permission from his mind. Lower. Lower still. Until he could taste the cotton candy lips that beckoned him.
Sweet heaven!
His entire body chose to rebel against his mind’s clear commands—hands off! His hands didn’t want to obey. They wanted to touch. His mouth wanted to consume. He wanted more. He needed more. She had turned him into a glutton—for punishment or pleasure, he wasn’t sure. Maybe both.
Her lips moved in hungry response. Her fingers pushed past his hat and combed through his hair. His own hands moved to touch more, but instead of the hot flesh he was expecting, he got a handful of snow, dousing the fire immediately.
Josh jumped to his feet. “I am so sorry, Mike. I don’t know what came over me.”
So much for being in the clear about last night. You weren’t supposed to repeat the performance. That ominous pit in his stomach returned with vengeance. Guilt and betrayal consumed him. When would he finally learn? The last time he’d allowed himself to get this out of control, this unguarded with Micah, horrible, unthinkable things had happened. And she had paid the price. He couldn’t do it.
He could tell she was still lying in the snow, but he refused to turn. He didn’t want to see the shocked expression on her face. He returned to the task at hand and cleaned off the remainder of her car as quickly as he could, fully aware of her movements as she finally stood and brushed herself off.
Josh was so disgusted with himself. He ran a rough hand over the back of his neck. He needed to get out of here. Pretend this never, ever happened.
* * *
Micah was a mess.
Her drunken kiss with Josh could be laughed off as a moment of stupidity fueled by too much tequila. Her dreams, which were so hot she feared her sheets would catch fire, could be ignored. Okay, maybe not ignored, but at least kept hidden from anyone and everyone.
But it was something else entirely when she kissed him in broad daylight in an empty parking lot without any excuse or hope of explanation. There had been no tequila to blame it on this time.
She couldn’t erase from her mind the look of disgust evident on his face when he’d jumped up to get far away from her. The thought made her sick. She had made an utter fool of herself in front of the most important person in her life.
Tears pooled in her eyes before overflowing and streaming down her cheeks.
“Oh, Mikey. What’s wrong?”
Micah hadn’t even realized Sabina was home. She looked up at Sabina’s concerned expression.
“Is it Drew?”
Why did everyone always assume it was Drew? Sure, she still missed him. And in moments like these she missed him more than usual—not him personally, but the idea of him. It was easier to be part of a couple. You didn’t have to go through as much heartbreak, like what she was experiencing now.
“You know what? There’s something I need to go do.”
“Okay...you want me to come with you?”
“No. I need to do this one on my own.” Micah jumped up and headed to the door, grabbing her phone and purse off the counter.
“Call me if you need me.”
* * *
It took a lot of courage. She had been fighting it for weeks, debating whether or not it was a good idea. But she gave in. It was something that had to be done. She had no hope of moving on until she did this.
She pulled her car slightly off the narrow drive to allow other cars to pass if they happened to come this way. She parked right in front of the sign that read Devotion and stepped out into the brisk wind.
It was a cold and dreary day. The skies were dark and gray, the clouds heavy with the possibility of rain. The weather fit the occasion.
Micah walked through the grass, up a slight hill. Her footsteps weaved a path between headstones and grave markers. The names were all familiar to her, but only because it was a path she had traveled many times.
Lowering herself to the ground, she swiped her hand across the cold, hard surface of his headstone. Her fingers gently traced each curve in his name. Stretching out, she laid her head in the grass next to the stone. It was something she had done many times before. She used to spend hours here, talking to the stone as if it could hear, as if it had a direct line to Drew’s ear. She had always been so desperate for a connection. Something. Anything.
Micah had something to say to him now, and this had been the only place she could think of to do it. It seemed appropriate for a final goodbye. The last few months had been rough. She had gone from one extreme to the other, trying to find a middle ground with her emotions.
It was time—time to let it all go.
She inhaled deeply, breathing in the cool air, allowing it to calm her tumultuous heart. The ground below her was cold and hard, but she remained there, wanting to be close to him one last time.
“Drew...” She spoke out loud to nothing but marble. “I’ve decided that it’s time I let you go. I don’t want to be in denial any longer or remain captive to memories of you. I don’t want to feel this anger and bitterness or this pain and loss anymore. Instead, I choose to accept the fact that you are gone. That that chapter of my life is long over and it’s time to look forward. I want to remember the good. You were a good man and you were good to me. I want to think back on you as a fond memory. I’ve loved you for most of my life and I know a part of me always will. But it’s time. I need to move on and make some new memories of my own.”
She stayed there for a moment longer, letting it all sink in. She sat up, ran her hand across his name one more time. “Goodbye, Drew.”
Rain began to fall, soft at first. It splashed on her cheek and mingled with her tears. She felt it glide down her face and drop to her chest. It was silly, but she had always considered rain to be a sign from the heavens. It was as if Drew was responding, letting her go, finally.
She stood there in a place of previous devotion and let the rain envelop her. Turning her face up to the sky, she allowed the drops to cleanse her of the wreckage and the grief that had consumed her.
Peace. She felt peace.
* * *
Feeling lighter than she had in years, Micah headed home. Of course, she hadn’t solved all her problems, but at least she was free of the burden that had weighed her down for so long.
As she walked in the door, Sabina must have noticed the bounce in her step, too. “Well, whatever errand you just ran must have helped.”
“Yes. It did.”
“Good.”
Micah’s phone chirped. Incoming text message.
Can we pretend this morning never happened?
It was from Josh. That was easy for him to say. Her phone chirped again.
I don’t know what happened. I’m the worst friend ever. Forgive me?
Should she just go with it, pretend she hadn’t gotten a small taste of heaven this morning? If she did it might rescue their quickly sinking friendship. If she didn’t, would she be saying goodbye to him, too?
“Hey, Jamie will be here in, like, an hour. Wants to do coffee if you want to come.” Sabina interrupted her thoughts.
“Um, yeah. Sure.”
She looked back down at Josh’s text, torn.
One goodbye was enough for today.
All’s forgiven and forgotten. Don’t even know what you are talking about.
Her phone signaled another message.
You’re the best <3
An hour later she sat at a table surrounded by her friends in their favorite little coffee shop.
“Did Josh have to work?” Hanna asked as she blew on her steaming cup of coffee.
“Yeah. He got called in at the last minute.” Leave it to Micah to be the only one who knew Josh’s comings and goings. Did anyone see the oddity in that? She was mortified if so. No one needed to know the feelings she now possessed. They were to remain under lock and key.
“What a shame. I haven’t seen him since the party.”
“Well, with your schedule it’s no wonder you get to see anyone.”
“You’re right. But I can’t slow down now. I am finally getting somewhere with my career. I can slow down when I’m dead.”
Micah took a tentative sip of her coffee.
“Hey, what did you guys think of Josh’s new girlfriend?”
Micah almost choked. Leave it to Sabina to go there.
“Her name is Taylor.” Jamie, leaning back against the window, spoke casually, as if the one statement were self-explanatory.
“So?” The three girls all looked at one another in puzzlement.
“So...if they get married she would be Taylor Taylor.”
They all broke out in laughter, Micah forcing a laugh so as not to stand out. It was a little funny to think about, if she ignored the part about him getting married.
“I don’t think anyone has to worry about that.” Hanna waved a hand dismissively. “He goes through women just as often as Sabina goes through men.”
“Hey, that hurts.” Sabina swatted at her.
Jamie ignored them. “Are you sure? She’s different. She seems more like the type he could settle down with. She seemed really sweet, unlike most of the women he dates.”
Micah sat quietly as her friends, unaware of her rising panic, talked around her. Was Josh really serious about this girl? It was one thing to say she would be okay with a lifetime of friendship. She didn’t want to sit on the sidelines secretly in love with her best friend while watching him fall for someone else. It would be torture to watch him marry and build a life with another woman.
Her friends continued to talk about the girls in Josh’s past, starting with the ones they’d disliked the most. There was the model, the doctor, the cheerleader, the makeup artist...oh, and they didn’t forget the pageant queen!
As if she needed to be reminded again of just how little chance she had of being the object of his desire.
Micah slammed her cup down on the table, effectively ending the conversation. Three sets of eyes snapped to attention.
“Hanna, what was that guy’s name? The one you introduced me to at the party?” Micah needed to move on from Josh, too. She couldn’t take a giant step forward in one area of her life only to remain where she felt most comfortable in another area. She had wasted enough of her life stuck in the past. It was time to live.
“Heck, yeah! Mr. Tall Drink of Water!” Sabina bounced in her chair.
“Cameron?” Hanna looked puzzled by the quick change in conversation.
“Yes. Him. You still have his number?”
“Sure.”
“He’s still single, right?”
“You met him a week ago. He was single then. I’m almost positive he’ll still be single this week.”
“Good.”
She had shocked all of them. They knew she was trying to move on, but they hadn’t expected this any more than she had.
THIRTEEN
“When does Cameron get here?”
Sabina leaned against the bathroom door as Micah put on the finishing touches to her makeup. Micah could see it in her eyes, she was evaluating her outfit and judging whether it was dateworthy enough. Well, Micah liked the way she looked and that was all that mattered.
“He should be here any minute now.”
“Where is he taking you?”
“We are going out to dinner. I’m not sure where.” She opened her eyes wide to apply the last coat of mascara, her mouth opening as well. She found it humorous that her mouth always opened when she applied eye makeup. It made no sense whatsoever.
“Here, wear these.”
Sabina held out a pair of giant turquoise earrings. They were beautiful, but they weren’t her. No use putting up a false front with this guy. She wasn’t Sabina and never would be. From here on out, she would wear what she wanted and do what she wanted and no longer allow people to make decisions for her, regardless of how much she loved them.
“No. I think I prefer these.”
“Suit yourself.”
Yes. It did suit her. Micah. The one and only.
It felt good to be herself, to actually know who she was for the first time in, like...well, ever.
Micah glanced at her phone for the zillionth time that day. No new messages. Each time she looked, her heart broke a little more. It shouldn’t. She should be past this by now. She had come to accept his friendship and nothing more. But part of her had hoped he would call, hoped he would hear about her date and rush in to stop her. Apparently, she had watched one too many chick flicks.
She gave herself a final look in her full-length mirror. She had bought a new dress just for tonight. When she saw it in the store, she had to have it. She had seen something like it in a magazine; a celebrity had worn it to an event and had everyone talking. It was a new look they called color blocking—the dress itself was black, but curved white inserts in the center front and center back gave the illusion of a smaller and much curvier shape. The moment she tried it on, she had felt sexier than ever before. It was unbelievable just how one dress could transform how she viewed herself.
She had painstakingly flat-ironed her hair, a rare occurrence for her riotous curls. This date was special, the first date in ten years that she was actually going to give a chance. She felt it was deserving of the added effort.
There was a knock at the door. Her stomach churned with nervous first-date jitters. This had to be a severe case. Sabina answered and let him in. “Micah, Cameron’s here.”
As if she couldn’t hear him from her room five feet away from the front door. Silly girl. He was wearing a sharp gray suit. Not the typical business suit, though, it was more tailored, as though he had just stepped from the pages of an Express catalog or something. He looked good in it, too. His dark hair was styled nicely with pomade.
“You look nice.” His face broke out into a big grin when she walked in.
“Thank you.” It had been too long since a guy had smiled like that because of her. And it was even better with Sabina standing next to her.
She really needed to get over her insecurity of being near Sabina. They were both different and unique and beautiful in their own ways. And Micah had a lot to offer! It was about time she figured that out.
“Ready?”
Oh, jeez. This was nerve-racking. Could she survive this night? The last minute second-guessing commenced. Should she even go? She gazed up at his smiling, kind and well-groomed face. Heck, yeah! “Yes.”
“Have fun, kids.” Sabina waved like a fool as they walked into the hallway. How embarrassing. Micah rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help but laugh. Sabina would get it later.
He opened the door to his silver BMW. Chivalrous. She took note of that. All her life she had surrounded herself with guys who knew how to treat a lady. She wouldn’t settle for less. Calm down there, Micah. No one is asking you to settle down just yet.
He took her to a beautiful restaurant in downtown Boston, one she would never be able to afford. She had always looked at it with wonder, hoping to sample the fine dining it had to offer one day.
Now that she actually walked through the front doors and was given a seat at a highly sought-after table, she felt out of place. It was too nice for her. She wasn’t sure how to act, but Cameron put her at ease. He wasn’t uppity or snobby, just normal and easygoing, easy to talk to. Conversation flowed naturally between the two of them.