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The History of Troilus and Cressida
The History of Troilus and Cressida

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The History of Troilus and Cressida

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  AGAMEMNON. What would you fore our tent?  AENEAS. Is this great Agamemnon's tent, I pray you?  AGAMEMNON. Even this.  AENEAS. May one that is a herald and a prince    Do a fair message to his kingly eyes?  AGAMEMNON. With surety stronger than Achilles' an    Fore all the Greekish heads, which with one voice    Call Agamemnon head and general.  AENEAS. Fair leave and large security. How may    A stranger to those most imperial looks    Know them from eyes of other mortals?  AGAMEMNON. How?  AENEAS. Ay;    I ask, that I might waken reverence,    And bid the cheek be ready with a blush    Modest as Morning when she coldly eyes    The youthful Phoebus.    Which is that god in office, guiding men?    Which is the high and mighty Agamemnon?  AGAMEMNON. This Troyan scorns us, or the men of Troy    Are ceremonious courtiers.  AENEAS. Courtiers as free, as debonair, unarm'd,    As bending angels; that's their fame in peace.    But when they would seem soldiers, they have galls,    Good arms, strong joints, true swords; and, Jove's accord,    Nothing so full of heart. But peace, Aeneas,    Peace, Troyan; lay thy finger on thy lips.    The worthiness of praise distains his worth,    If that the prais'd himself bring the praise forth;    But what the repining enemy commends,    That breath fame blows; that praise, sole pure, transcends.  AGAMEMNON. Sir, you of Troy, call you yourself Aeneas?  AENEAS. Ay, Greek, that is my name.  AGAMEMNON. What's your affair, I pray you?  AENEAS. Sir, pardon; 'tis for Agamemnon's ears.  AGAMEMNON. He hears nought privately that comes from Troy.  AENEAS. Nor I from Troy come not to whisper with him;    I bring a trumpet to awake his ear,    To set his sense on the attentive bent,    And then to speak.  AGAMEMNON. Speak frankly as the wind;    It is not Agamemnon's sleeping hour.    That thou shalt know, Troyan, he is awake,    He tells thee so himself.  AENEAS. Trumpet, blow loud,    Send thy brass voice through all these lazy tents;    And every Greek of mettle, let him know    What Troy means fairly shall be spoke aloud.                                                      [Soundtrumpet]    We have, great Agamemnon, here in Troy    A prince called Hector-Priam is his father-    Who in this dull and long-continued truce    Is resty grown; he bade me take a trumpet    And to this purpose speak: Kings, princes, lords!    If there be one among the fair'st of Greece    That holds his honour higher than his ease,    That seeks his praise more than he fears his peril,    That knows his valour and knows not his fear,    That loves his mistress more than in confession    With truant vows to her own lips he loves,    And dare avow her beauty and her worth    In other arms than hers-to him this challenge.    Hector, in view of Troyans and of Greeks,    Shall make it good or do his best to do it:    He hath a lady wiser, fairer, truer,    Than ever Greek did couple in his arms;    And will to-morrow with his trumpet call    Mid-way between your tents and walls of Troy    To rouse a Grecian that is true in love.    If any come, Hector shall honour him;    If none, he'll say in Troy, when he retires,    The Grecian dames are sunburnt and not worth    The splinter of a lance. Even so much.  AGAMEMNON. This shall be told our lovers, Lord Aeneas.    If none of them have soul in such a kind,    We left them all at home. But we are soldiers;    And may that soldier a mere recreant prove    That means not, hath not, or is not in love.    If then one is, or hath, or means to be,    That one meets Hector; if none else, I am he.  NESTOR. Tell him of Nestor, one that was a man    When Hector's grandsire suck'd. He is old now;    But if there be not in our Grecian mould    One noble man that hath one spark of fire    To answer for his love, tell him from me    I'll hide my silver beard in a gold beaver,    And in my vantbrace put this wither'd brawn,    And, meeting him, will tell him that my lady    Was fairer than his grandame, and as chaste    As may be in the world. His youth in flood,    I'll prove this truth with my three drops of blood.  AENEAS. Now heavens forfend such scarcity of youth!  ULYSSES. Amen.  AGAMEMNON. Fair Lord Aeneas, let me touch your hand;    To our pavilion shall I lead you, first.    Achilles shall have word of this intent;    So shall each lord of Greece, from tent to tent.    Yourself shall feast with us before you go,    And find the welcome of a noble foe.Exeunt all but ULYSSES and NESTOR  ULYSSES. Nestor!  NESTOR. What says Ulysses?  ULYSSES. I have a young conception in my brain;    Be you my time to bring it to some shape.  NESTOR. What is't?  ULYSSES. This 'tis:    Blunt wedges rive hard knots. The seeded pride    That hath to this maturity blown up    In rank Achilles must or now be cropp'd    Or, shedding, breed a nursery of like evil    To overbulk us all.  NESTOR. Well, and how?  ULYSSES. This challenge that the gallant Hector sends,    However it is spread in general name,    Relates in purpose only to Achilles.  NESTOR. True. The purpose is perspicuous even as substance    Whose grossness little characters sum up;    And, in the publication, make no strain    But that Achilles, were his brain as barren    As banks of Libya-though, Apollo knows,    'Tis dry enough-will with great speed of judgment,    Ay, with celerity, find Hector's purpose    Pointing on him.  ULYSSES. And wake him to the answer, think you?  NESTOR. Why, 'tis most meet. Who may you else oppose    That can from Hector bring those honours off,    If not Achilles? Though 't be a sportful combat,    Yet in this trial much opinion dwells;    For here the Troyans taste our dear'st repute    With their fin'st palate; and trust to me, Ulysses,    Our imputation shall be oddly pois'd    In this vile action; for the success,    Although particular, shall give a scantling    Of good or bad unto the general;    And in such indexes, although small pricks    To their subsequent volumes, there is seen    The baby figure of the giant mas    Of things to come at large. It is suppos'd    He that meets Hector issues from our choice;    And choice, being mutual act of all our souls,    Makes merit her election, and doth boil,    As 'twere from forth us all, a man distill'd    Out of our virtues; who miscarrying,    What heart receives from hence a conquering part,    To steel a strong opinion to themselves?    Which entertain'd, limbs are his instruments,    In no less working than are swords and bows    Directive by the limbs.  ULYSSES. Give pardon to my speech.    Therefore 'tis meet Achilles meet not Hector.    Let us, like merchants, show our foulest wares    And think perchance they'll sell; if not, the lustre    Of the better yet to show shall show the better,    By showing the worst first. Do not consent    That ever Hector and Achilles meet;    For both our honour and our shame in this    Are dogg'd with two strange followers.  NESTOR. I see them not with my old eyes. What are they?  ULYSSES. What glory our Achilles shares from Hector,    Were he not proud, we all should wear with him;    But he already is too insolent;    And it were better parch in Afric sun    Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes,    Should he scape Hector fair. If he were foil'd,    Why, then we do our main opinion crush    In taint of our best man. No, make a lott'ry;    And, by device, let blockish Ajax draw    The sort to fight with Hector. Among ourselves    Give him allowance for the better man;    For that will physic the great Myrmidon,    Who broils in loud applause, and make him fall    His crest, that prouder than blue Iris bends.    If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off,    We'll dress him up in voices; if he fail,    Yet go we under our opinion still    That we have better men. But, hit or miss,    Our project's life this shape of sense assumes-    Ajax employ'd plucks down Achilles' plumes.  NESTOR. Now, Ulysses, I begin to relish thy advice;    And I will give a taste thereof forthwith    To Agamemnon. Go we to him straight.    Two curs shall tame each other: pride alone    Must tarre the mastiffs on, as 'twere their bone.

Exeunt

ACT II. SCENE 1. The Grecian camp

Enter Ajax and THERSITES

  AJAX. Thersites!  THERSITES. Agamemnon-how if he had boils full, an over,generally?  AJAX. Thersites!  THERSITES. And those boils did run-say so. Did not the generalrun    then? Were not that a botchy core?  AJAX. Dog!  THERSITES. Then there would come some matter from him;    I see none now.  AJAX. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? Feel, then.                                                        [Strikeshim]  THERSITES. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrelbeef-witted    lord!  AJAX. Speak, then, thou whinid'st leaven, speak. I will beatthee    into handsomeness.  THERSITES. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness; butI    think thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou learn a    prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou? A redmurrain    o' thy jade's tricks!  AJAX. Toadstool, learn me the proclamation.  THERSITES. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest methus?  AJAX. The proclamation!  THERSITES. Thou art proclaim'd, a fool, I think.  AJAX. Do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.  THERSITES. I would thou didst itch from head to foot and I hadthe    scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in    Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikestas    slow as another.  AJAX. I say, the proclamation.  THERSITES. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles;and    thou art as full of envy at his greatness as Cerberus is at    Proserpina's beauty-ay, that thou bark'st at him.  AJAX. Mistress Thersites!  THERSITES. Thou shouldst strike him.  AJAX. Cobloaf!  THERSITES. He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a    sailor breaks a biscuit.  AJAX. You whoreson cur! [Strikeshim]  THERSITES. Do, do.  AJAX. Thou stool for a witch!  THERSITES. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast nomore    brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinico may tutor thee.

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