Her Christmas Wish

The second thing was, she really did play the saxophone. And she played it from eight to eight-thirty every evening. Olivia claimed it helped her fall asleep but he found it difficult to concentrate on his novel with the mournful, steamy notes of a saxophone permeating the house.

Now it looked like he was about to discover yet another Leah-driven change. He slid out from behind the bookcase just in time to see Olivia and Leah walk into the room. Leah had a picnic basket tucked under one arm.

“We made you and Jonah a pie, Daddy,” Olivia said excitedly.

Jonah swung Olivia up and perched her on his shoulder as she giggled helplessly. “This is a nice surprise.” He grinned at Ben.

Ben glanced at Leah, who was carefully removing a pie from the basket. “Right. Surprise.” He couldn’t argue with that. Over the past week, his life had become one big surprise.

“We’re making pies to take to Uncle Eli’s,” Olivia said. “Leah said it’s always good to have extra to share.”

“I’ll go along with Leah,” Jonah said in such a cheerful voice that Ben suddenly wanted to stuff him behind the bookcase. “I’m Jonah Fraser, by the way.”

Leah straightened and extended her hand. “Reverend Fraser’s son, right? It’s nice to meet you. I’m Leah Paxson.”

“Always labeled as the minister’s kid,” Jonah said, shaking his head in wonder. “You never outgrow it.”

Leah smiled and Ben cleared his throat. One of Jonah’s eyebrows lifted but Ben ignored him. Leah’s amber gaze swung to him.

“I hope you don’t mind that we stopped by,” she said. “I told Olivia that when we finished making the pies, I’d take her to the Starlight for a hamburger and we decided we’d bring a treat over for the two of you on the way.”

“’Cause I worked so hard,” Olivia put in. “Two apple, one pumpkin and a cherry.”

Jonah swung Olivia down from his shoulder and as soon as her feet touched the floor, she bounced over to her father. “We brought you apple.”

Ben was still mulling over Leah’s words. He didn’t know if he minded that they were here. He remembered telling Leah where he kept a copy of his daily schedule in case she needed to get in touch with him. In an emergency. Maybe finding someone to eat an apple pie fresh from the oven was one of the emergencies on Leah’s list. He sighed.

Olivia felt it. “Are you tired, Daddy?”

They were all looking at him now. He forced a smile. “Nothing that a piece of apple pie won’t cure.”

“So, you’re risking—I mean eating—Thanksgiving dinner at Eli and Rachel’s this year, hmm?” Jonah said.

The truth was, Ben hadn’t even thought about Thanksgiving. He’d been too busy trying to finish his client’s library before they returned from their cruise in the Bahamas. “At least we’ll have pie.” He winked at Olivia.

His daughter turned to Leah. “Maybe you can help Aunt Rachel with the turkey.”

“Oh, sweetie…I won’t be with you on Thanksgiving.”

“Why not?” Olivia’s voice echoed around the spacious room.

Ben saw a shadow pass across Leah’s face, dimming the warm sparkle that he was used to seeing in her eyes. “Well, holidays are for families. I never spend holidays with the people I work for.”

But she didn’t have a family. Ben remembered her telling him that her mother had passed away. She hadn’t mentioned a father and he assumed there must have been a reason why.

“But you’re part of the family,” Olivia insisted and then turned pleading eyes to him to say something.

He wasn’t sure what to say. The bond that had quickly forged between Olivia and her new nanny concerned him. Leah was young and pretty, it was only a matter of time until she met someone and fell in love, got married and started a family of her own…and then she’d leave. Even though she was young, Leah was closer to a mother figure than Nanny Baker had been. Nanny B had loved Olivia but she had clear boundaries that defined her personal time and space. Since Leah had moved in with them, he hadn’t noticed her creating any of those boundaries. She was available to Olivia 24/7. Even when she was supposed to take an evening off for herself, she’d taken Olivia to Chestnut Grove Community Church for a children’s fun night instead.

Over the years, Mrs. Baker had taken the opportunity over the holidays to visit her own family, and as close as she and Olivia were, Olivia hadn’t protested at all.

“Daddy?”

He’d hesitated too long. Leah looked uncomfortable, Jonah looked incredulous and Olivia looked crestfallen.

“Chestnut Community is hosting a community Thanksgiving dinner and service this year, Leah,” Jonah interrupted cautiously.

Ben shot him an impatient look. For some reason, the thought of Leah spending the day elbow-to-elbow with strangers and eating sliced turkey off plastic plates didn’t sit well with him.

“You’re more than welcome to join us at Eli’s,” he said. “I know Rachel won’t mind, and my parents will want to meet you.”

As far as invitations went, it was everything that was polite and cordial, but Leah still felt as if a fissure had formed in her heart. It was obvious that Ben still didn’t approve of her. But for Olivia…

She glanced down at the little girl. She’d missed seven years of holidays and now God was giving her a gift. The opportunity to spend one with her daughter. Even as she yearned to say yes to Ben’s reluctant invitation, a niggling doubt settled in her heart.

What if Ben’s family saw the resemblance between her and Olivia?

When she’d taken Olivia to children’s night at the church on Wednesday, one of the women had assumed they were mother and daughter. Olivia had grinned widely at the mistake but Leah had felt a ripple of fear. She didn’t want anyone to put the idea in Ben’s head that maybe she and Olivia were related.

People see what they want to see.

One of her mother’s favorite sayings came back to her. No one knew anything about her past. They didn’t know she’d given a baby up for adoption. She was simply the woman hired to take care of Olivia. That’s what Ben’s family would see when they looked at her. She took a deep breath.

“I’d love to spend Thanksgiving with you.”

Before the words were even out of her mouth, Olivia’s arms were around her waist.

Later that evening, Leah was doing a load of laundry when Ben was suddenly standing behind her.

“Are you finding your way around the house all right?” he asked.

Leah never failed to startle when Ben unexpectedly appeared. There was something about him that drained away her ability to think clearly. Or speak with any kind of intelligence whatsoever! At least it felt that way.

“You’re a jumpy little thing, aren’t you?” Ben frowned.

Only around you, Leah thought. The truth was, the sight of him did strange things to her heart rate. “If the floor creaked, you wouldn’t be able to sneak up on me like this. That’s what happens when you live with a carpenter, though. A squeak wouldn’t dare take up residence in this house.”

Ben leaned against the dryer and folded his arms across his chest, which stretched the fabric of his shirt taut across his torso. Leah felt like Alice in Wonderland—the laundry room was definitely getting smaller. She shifted her gaze to a point on the wall behind his shoulder, a safe focal point to dwell on instead of his lean, muscular frame and handsome face.

“I know Olivia put you in a tough spot today,” he said after a moment. “Don’t feel obligated to spend Thanksgiving with us if you have other plans.”

The plans she’d had involved renting a video and curling up to watch it while eating a turkey sandwich. “I don’t have other plans. If you’re sure your brother and his wife won’t mind me crashing their dinner party.”

“What’s that saying? The more the merrier? A Cavanaugh code, I’m afraid. My parents—especially my mother—live for family gatherings.”

Family gatherings. Those two simple words squeezed Leah’s heart. She knew some people took them for granted, but she knew she never would. If she were ever part of a family…

“Well,” she said brightly, closing the top of the washer, “this is done. I guess I’ll go upstairs now.”

“No saxophone?” Ben’s eyebrows shot up.

Leah’s face warmed. “Making all those pies wore me out.”

“Good night, Miss Paxson.” Ben watched her scoot out of the room. She always moved quickly, but with an unmistakable grace. Like a dancer. He shook the thought away. He was almost finished reading his novel, but now he found himself wondering if he’d be able to concentrate on it without the mellow music of the saxophone playing in the background.

“I’ll be right back.”

Leah took a moment to slip out of the kitchen, where she’d been helping Rachel Cavanaugh and Ben’s mother, Peggy, with Thanksgiving dinner. She retreated to Eli’s study to stabilize her racing thoughts.

Lord, Peggy keeps staring at me when she thinks I’m not watching. Maybe spending Thanksgiving with them wasn’t such a good idea.

Peggy and Tyrone Cavanaugh were openly friendly and welcoming, but from the moment Ben had introduced Leah to his parents, Peggy Cavanaugh had had a thoughtful look in her eyes. Especially when, in the process of telling Leah a secret, Olivia had pulled Leah’s head down so they were cheek-to-cheek.

After that, Leah had offered to help Rachel in the kitchen, leaving Tyrone Cavanaugh to entertain Olivia with a new book about seashells that he’d brought her. But she still felt Peggy’s gaze settle on her occasionally.

The chance to spend Thanksgiving with Olivia—and Ben—had been too tempting. Leah caught her lower lip in her teeth and wondered if she would make it through the rest of the day.

A chorus of groans suddenly erupted from the living room, where Ben and Eli were watching football. Leah couldn’t prevent a smile. There was an obvious affection between the two brothers. She’d seen that right away.

Drawn to a framed portrait on the wall, Leah stepped closer and studied the Cavanaugh family. The picture must have been taken when Ben and Eli were in high school. Her gaze lingering on the two boys, she wondered who in the Cavanaugh family tree Eli favored. Where Peggy and Tyrone had passed on their dark good looks to Ben, Eli was blond with light green eyes.

“They were quite a pair. I credit every gray hair I have on my head to those boys. And I’m still getting them, so what does that tell you?”

Leah heard Peggy Cavanaugh’s lilting voice behind her and her heart skipped a beat. Her plan to escape to a quiet place to think had backfired. Now she was alone with the woman who’d been responsible for her escape to begin with!

Peggy came to stand beside her. “Rachel and the turkey are in a standoff,” she murmured. “But my guess is that Rachel is going to win the battle.”

Leah would have to agree. With her chestnut hair and exotic hazel eyes, Rachel Cavanaugh could have easily been a contestant in a beauty pageant, but it was her easy confidence and warm friendliness that Leah had immediately been drawn to. That and the fact that the second the two women had met, Rachel had leaned over and whispered two words tersely in her ear. “Corn pudding?”

Leah could only assume she was being asked if she knew how to make it. She’d nodded. Rachel had discreetly looked at her watch and then flashed all five fingers at Leah. In that moment, any doubts Leah had had about her presence in Rachel’s home were firmly put to rest.

“We adopted Eli when he was six years old,” Peggy said softly. “His parents were killed in a car accident and Eli was with them but he only suffered minor injuries. Ben was seven at the time but we’d adopted him from Tiny Blessings as a baby. We were never told much about his birth parents. Back then, the records were sealed, you know. Not like nowadays, when there are open adoptions and contact clauses.”

Ben. Adopted. Leah felt her breath catch in her throat. She’d had no idea.

“It was good of you to give the boys a home.”

Peggy shrugged. “I don’t think goodness had a thing to do with it,” she said honestly. “From the time I was a little girl, all I dreamed about was having a family. After Ty and I were married, we found out that I couldn’t carry a baby to term. I had miscarriage after miscarriage. It was Ty who suggested we adopt. Funny how God’s plans shape our dreams, isn’t it? People tell me what a blessing Ty and I have been as adoptive parents, but the truth is, those two guys out there throwing pillows at the television screen are the blessings. All I know is somewhere out there, a young mother had a lot of love in her heart.”

Since Eli’s mother had died, Leah knew she was referring to Ben’s birth mother. Or was she? There was a thread of something in the older woman’s voice that made Leah uncomfortable.

Suddenly hungry to know more about Olivia, Leah dared to ask some of the questions she’d had since she’d moved in with Ben and Olivia. Questions she couldn’t ask Ben. “Were Ben and his wife unable to have children, too?”

Peggy shook her head. “As far as I know, they hadn’t been married long enough to start thinking about children. Julia was a nurse at the hospital and she was in the delivery room when Olivia was born. The couple who were supposed to adopt Olivia had just found out they were pregnant and didn’t know if they could handle two children so close in age. They decided not to, but in the meantime Julia and Ben had prayed about it and knew they wanted her.” Peggy’s smile was soft. “It worked out the way it was meant to.”

“You’re doing great,” the nurse told her. “It won’t be long now.”

“It hurts.” Leah panted the words and felt the young woman’s hand squeeze hers reassuringly, saw the compassion in her dark blue eyes.

“I’ll stay here with you.”

And she had stayed. Through the next two hours of labor and afterward. It was the blue-eyed nurse who had brought Leah’s baby girl to her, wrapped in a soft pink blanket. So Leah could say goodbye. Then, she’d wrapped her arms around Leah when she’d started to cry.

The nurse had been Julia Cavanaugh.

Tears burned Leah’s eyes. Tears she was unable to hide from Ben’s mother. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, my dear. You must be a sensitive soul! I know I am. Ty teases me because I even cry during TV commercials.”

Leah was rescued from a response by the pint-sized seven-year-old who suddenly careened around the corner.

“Aunt Rachel needs Leah,” she said. “And Grammy, Daddy said to tell you he’s got the chess board set up.”

“That’s my cue.” Peggy brushed a stray curl off Olivia’s cheek. “Every year your dad tries to beat me at chess.”

“He said this is going to be the day he wins,” Olivia whispered.

“He can try.” Peggy gave them both a mischievous wink.

Leah stepped into the hall but was still having a difficult time breathing normally again. She felt a soft touch on her arm and forced a smile, assuming it was Olivia. It wasn’t. It was Peggy.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Leah.”

Chapter Five

“You sit next to me and Leah, Daddy.” Olivia dragged Ben over to the table, where a perfectly roasted turkey had taken its place as the centerpiece. Across the room, Rachel lifted her chin and gave him a smug look.

“How did you sneak all this food in, Eli?” he asked innocently. “Is there a chef hiding in the kitchen?”

His brother laughed and drew Rachel against him, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. “Don’t worry, honey,” he said in a stage whisper. “Next time we play football, I’ll grind that attitude right out of him.”

Watching them, Ben felt a pang of regret. He and Julia had only been married three years when the doctors discovered she had ovarian cancer. Although they’d known each other in high school, they hadn’t started dating until she’d finished college and came back to Chestnut Grove. Everything in their relationship had been perfectly timed. He’d proposed after a year. They’d married eight months later. He thought he’d have a lifetime of memories with her, and now he found himself struggling to preserve the few but precious ones he had.

“Are you going to stare at that turkey all day or sit down and eat it, son?” Tyrone gave him an affectionate slap on the back as he headed toward the table.

Ben moved to take his place, which was between Leah and Olivia. Leah had a smudge of flour on her cheek and, without thinking he reached out and brushed his thumb against it.

She turned and their faces were inches apart. Once again he felt the fine jolt of electricity that had become annoyingly familiar whenever he was close enough to Leah to see the flecks of gold in her eyes.

“You had flour on your cheek.” He showed her his thumb as proof.

“Oh.” Leah’s face was as pink as Olivia’s bedspread. “Thank you.”

Eli tapped his spoon against the rim of his glass. “Before we eat, I’d like to resurrect an old Cavanaugh family Thanksgiving tradition. Rachel and I thought Olivia might enjoy it.”

Ben tensed. There was only one Cavanaugh Thanksgiving tradition that he remembered and both he and Eli had done away with it the minute they were out on their own….

“Under everyone’s plate are corn kernels. The number you have is the number of things you thank God for during the blessing,” Eli continued.

Olivia picked up her plate immediately and he could see the delighted expression on her face. Emotion shifted inside him. He recognized it for what it was—guilt. He hadn’t given his daughter any spiritual guidance over the past seven years. Hadn’t taken her to church. Hadn’t prayed with her the way his parents had prayed with him while he’d been growing up. Hadn’t taught her to praise God for the blessings in her life or to lean on Him when things went wrong.

“How many did you get?” Olivia asked, craning her neck to look at his plate. “Daddy, you haven’t even looked yet!”

He lifted his plate up and saw four kernels of corn. Four. If Eli had duplicated the tradition, the most a person got was four. Suspiciously, he wondered if some devious person had rigged his plate.

“I only got two,” Olivia said, then leaned across his lap. “How many did you get, Leah?”

“Two.”

Ben frowned. Leah’s hand was clenched so tightly around the kernels of corn that her knuckles were white.

“Everyone ready?” Eli asked cheerfully. “Dad, why don’t you start?”

Ben couldn’t see a way to back out of this, so dutifully he closed his eyes. Four things he was thankful for. That shouldn’t be so difficult. The hard part was who he was thanking. He liked to think that he’d worked hard to achieve the good things in his life.

Suddenly, he heard Leah’s low, musical voice.

“Lord, I am thankful for Your faithfulness. And I’m thankful to You for bringing me to this table today, to share Thanksgiving with my—with the Cavanaughs.”

“Lord,” Olivia solemnly copied Leah’s opening, “thank You for my dad. And for bringing Leah to our house.”

Ben drew a deep breath and wondered why his insides suddenly felt as if he’d swallowed a box of rusty nails. Maybe because he hadn’t talked to God since the day he’d shouted at Him…the day Julia had died.

“I’m thankful for my family and friends and my business. And especially for this seven-year-old stick of dynamite beside me.” He heard Olivia giggle and his fingers found the ticklish spot on her knee under the table.

When he opened his eyes, he saw his mother squeeze Eli’s hand and there were tears in her eyes. Ben knew why. At least one of her prodigals had returned home. But he wasn’t a prodigal, was he? He hadn’t gone out and squandered his life. Just the opposite. He’d done everything right. He’d done everything a Christian was supposed to do. He’d read his Bible and prayed. He’d been active in his church youth group as a teenager. He’d rarely missed a Sunday service. And Julia had still died. He’d realized seven years ago that he couldn’t have faith in a God Who didn’t fulfill His part of the bargain.

After the others had shared their thanks, and the dinner conversation turned to the upcoming Christmas holiday—another celebration that Ben had to grit his teeth and survive every year—Olivia suddenly bounced several times in her chair.

“I’m in a play at church,” she said loudly.

Everyone fell silent.

“That’s wonderful, sweetie,” Peggy said with a quick glance at Tyrone.

“It’s a musical. They picked parts last Wednesday when Leah took me to church. I’m an angel and I get to sing one song all by myself.”

“And how did all this come about?” Ben asked quietly.

He couldn’t believe Leah hadn’t bothered to mention this to him. She’d obviously sensed his hesitation about Olivia going to church with her and yet she’d let her sign up to take part in the Christmas program?

“Reverend Fraser’s wife, Naomi, heard Olivia singing with the group and she asked her if she wanted to be involved in the program this year,” Leah explained, meeting his gaze directly. In the depths of her eyes, he could see a plea for him to understand.

And knowing how much Olivia loved to sing, he was supposed to be the pin that burst her bubble?

“From what I remember, Naomi does a wonderful job with the children,” Peggy said. “Do you need a costume?”

“Leah is going to make me one,” Olivia said. “It’s going to have wings. And a halo. And glitter!”

Glitter. Of course it would have glitter. Ben struggled with his feelings. At his mother’s encouragement, there were times when he’d volunteered his carpentry skills at Chestnut Grove Community Church, but he’d always managed to brush aside Reverend Fraser’s gentle hints about attending services. Now, if Olivia was in the Christmas program, he’d be forced to spend Christmas Eve there.

There was an uncomfortable silence at the table and finally Tyrone’s booming voice overrode it.

“Don’t forget to give me and Grammy your Christmas wish list before we leave, peanut,” he said. “We want to have time to find everything.”

“There are only two things on my list this year, Papa,” Olivia said.

“Only two?” Tyrone pretended to be shocked. “Well, that should be easy for an old grandpa like me to remember. What are they?”

“I want boots like Leah’s.”

Ben felt the turkey he’d just swallowed lodge in his throat. Boots like Leah’s! But it was her next words that made him choke.

“And a mommy.”

“Do you think Daddy’s mad at me for singing in the Christmas program?” Olivia pulled the covers up to her chin so the only thing Leah could see was a pair of worried brown eyes. She sat down on the bed beside her. She knew that Ben was upset, but she wasn’t sure what had triggered it—Olivia’s announcement about the Christmas play or that a mommy was on her Christmas wish list. Maybe, Leah thought with a sigh, it was both.

“He’s not mad at you, peaches.” That much she was sure of. If anything, he was angry with her for not telling him about Olivia and the play sooner. Not that she could blame him. She’d been waiting for just the right moment, but the right moment hadn’t presented itself.

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened.

“Ready for bed?”

“If I say no, can I stay up later?” Olivia sat up, her expression hopeful.

“It’s already past your bedtime,” Ben said. “Technically, you have stayed up later.”

“I don’t like technically,” Olivia said with a deep sigh. She reached her arms up for a good-night hug.

Leah could smell Ben’s clean, woodsy scent as he leaned over and plucked Olivia right out of the bed, growling ferociously as he enveloped her in a bear hug. She shrieked with delight.

When the hug was over and Ben dropped Olivia back into bed, both of them were breathless and slightly rumpled. A swatch of Ben’s sable hair had fallen over his eyes and his shirt had come untucked. Leah, who had watched their antics with fascination, was about to stand up when Olivia attacked. The weight of the little girl’s impulsive ambush sent Leah tumbling off the side of the bed.

And right into Ben’s arms.