The Child’s Secret

They both held their breath a moment. They were standing at a crossroads and each was trying to decide which path to take. Sam could feel himself drawn to the route that would take him back to the lonely life he had become accustomed to, but Anna took his hand.

‘I don’t understand it, but I accept that you have your reasons for not wanting to commit. I won’t deny that I would like a brood of kids one day, and my head is telling me to cut my losses and run, but I like you, Sam. I like you a lot.’

If her words were meant to reassure Sam then they didn’t. Anna’s declaration gave Sam the distinct impression she had invested a lot more emotion in him than he had appreciated.

‘I already have a long list of failed relationships under my belt,’ she continued, ‘and I can’t believe I’m living back home with Mum and Dad but it’s only temporary. Maybe I would like to think we could make a go of things but it’s too soon, I realize that. And what if your stubbornness could work in my favour – it might be what I need to make me think more about being an independent woman for a change and not someone who has to rely on a man. You’re a good thing in my life, Sam, so stop feeling so guilty.’

There was a certain logic to Anna’s argument and Sam did his best to ignore the flaws. They had reached an understanding and, for the moment at least, his conscience had been satisfied.

‘So, if it’s not too terrifying a proposition,’ Anna said. ‘Can I come with you to Wales in the holidays? I could hold your tape measure while you size up Pat’s garden.’

Sam smiled. ‘I would love you to.’

As Sam stood in front of the school entrance, he could hear laughter coming from deep inside where Anna’s play would be drawing to a close. It was a warm summer’s evening and yet Sam hunched his shoulders against a bitter northerly wind that was no more than a memory of a dark Scottish winter. He shuddered as he made his way inside and followed the Blu-tacked signs to the Land of Oz.

When he entered, the school hall was in darkness except for a single spotlight on the stage as Dorothy called out to the friends she had lost in the woods. She kept looking at the stuffed dog tucked under her arm, almost as if she were reading her lines from notes hidden in its fur. Apart from the little girl’s voice, the only other sound came from the creak of the door as Sam closed it behind him. A handful of silhouetted heads turned in his direction and he winced by way of an apology.

It took a moment, but once his eyes adjusted, he found an empty seat on one of the back rows but didn’t immediately move towards it. It wasn’t only his eyes that were adjusting. His pulse was racing and his mouth was dry.

The stage was set ablaze with light as a dozen or so children began stomping about, tripping over the scenery and fluffing their lines. The mixture of pride and tolerance, excitement and nerves coming from the audience was palpable as Sam shuffled along to the empty seat he had spotted. Once settled, he tried to blank out everything that was happening around him by concentrating on an invisible point on the wall to the left of the stage, but this coping strategy simply left space in his mind to be filled with memories that he knew better than to resurrect. He gritted his teeth and flicked his gaze towards the stage, reluctantly accepting that the safest option was to follow the story.

Dorothy had tracked down the Wicked Witch of the West and Sam was quietly impressed by the set. It was clear that more time had gone into making the props and costumes than learning lines. Although it was difficult to recognize faces beneath the elaborate make-up and headgear, it looked as if one of the winged monkeys was none other than the hard-nosed boy who had wished for a branch to fall on Sam’s head. Jasmine was possibly on stage too but according to Anna, she was only a bit player, one of half a dozen Munchkins and without any lines of her own to deliver. There were two Munchkins taking centre stage now and another hiding behind a cardboard tree. The more the shy Munchkin receded into the background, the more convinced Sam was that it was Jasmine.

When the lights went up after the last curtain call, Sam was still staring at the spot on the stage where the little girl had stood. He felt a sense of pride that surprised him. Anna had kept him up to date with the daily dramas surrounding the rehearsals, and while the leading actors had been the focus of her attention, she had occasionally mentioned Jasmine, saying that if she managed to get on stage at all, there was a good chance the poor child would remain there, immobilized by fear. But the stage was empty.

Sam stayed where he was and watched the proud parents milling around until the hall began to clear. He spotted Finn at the front, talking animatedly with one group of parents and then another, his exit continually thwarted. It was quite remarkable to see how Finn was so comfortable being the centre of attention while his daughter was a complete contrast, but then Sam caught a glimpse of the woman walking in his shadow and it became clear where Jasmine had inherited her personality traits as well as her looks. Laura looked to be in her mid-thirties. She was tall and slender with sleek blonde hair pinned up in a twist that looked both casual and elegant. Her eyes were cast down but Sam had no doubt they would be deep blue like her daughter’s.

While Finn chatted away, his wife appeared to take no part in the conversation and when they eventually came level with Sam’s row, she was all but obscured and forgotten by everyone except Sam.

‘Hello, mate,’ Finn called, reaching across the empty seats to shake Sam’s hand. ‘Did we wake you up there? These things do drag on, don’t they?’

‘It was very enjoyable,’ Sam said although the smile gave him away.

‘Are you still interested in going on for something to eat? There’s plenty to choose from along Allerton Road or we could go into town, if you like?’

Sam made a good impression of looking as if he hadn’t given Finn’s offer much thought. ‘Don’t feel obliged if you have other plans.’

‘Nonsense, I’ve been looking forward to it.’

Standing up, Sam made his way to the aisle. ‘There’s just the small matter of dragging Anna away,’ he said as he drew nearer.

It was only when Sam made a point of peering over Finn’s shoulder that his newest friend took the hint and remembered to introduce his wife. When Finn stepped to one side, it was the first chance Sam had to see Laura up close. She was wearing a simple wrap dress and held a hand modestly to her chest. Her eyes remained cast down and unfathomable, which gave her the same power of presence as her daughter, there and yet not there; a beautiful soul that was easily overlooked and yet completely captivating.

When Sam stretched his hand out towards her, they locked eyes and he stumbled over his words as he said hello.

‘So are you ready?’ Finn asked Laura.

‘To go out to dinner? I don’t know, Finn …’

‘Oh, come on, Laura, this is the man who got me a job and I have to repay the debt. I’d like to treat you too,’ he said, then turned to Sam. ‘I don’t know how she’s put up with me these last few months.’

‘But what about Jasmine?’ asked Laura.

Finn remained unfazed, and then his eyes brightened as another group of parents shuffled past. ‘Hey, Natalie,’ he said, catching a woman by the arm, ‘Laura’s forgotten all about our plans to go out for dinner tonight. Is there any chance you could have Jasmine? We’ll return the favour, honest.’

‘You mean Laura will,’ Natalie said as she looked from Finn to his wife. ‘And you don’t have to return the favour but yes, of course she can stay over. She’s never any trouble and I’ve still got a pair of her PJs from last weekend.’

‘Sorry, Natalie,’ Laura said.

‘Don’t you worry about it. I’m heading for the main entrance now to pick up Keira and Jasmine’s bound to be with her. Do you want me to take her back now or did you want to see her first?’

‘I want to see her first,’ Laura said quickly and started following Natalie out through the door before Finn had a chance to argue.

Finn rolled his eyes. ‘Sorry about this, Sam. The joys of parenthood, eh?’

Sam couldn’t bring himself to respond to the comment and changed the subject. ‘It’s all right; Anna said she’d meet me at the main doors too. She shouldn’t be too long,’ he said, and she wasn’t. Anna was leading the charge with a handful of exhausted Munchkins bringing up the rear.

‘Aren’t you getting changed?’ Keira whispered when she found her best friend loitering outside the changing rooms while the rest of her classmates created havoc for Miss Jenkins inside.

Jasmine gave her the best scowl she could manage given that her face had been painted bright orange. ‘I’m staying in character.’

Keira spun around in the pretty silver dress that Jasmine thought a bit too sparkly for one of the townspeople of Oz but her friend had insisted on being noticed. ‘Then so am I,’ she announced before coming to an uncertain stop. ‘But won’t we get in trouble?’

Lifting her nose in the air, Jasmine said, ‘Of course not. I asked Miss Jenkins and she said I could. And if I can, so can you.’

Jasmine was riding on a high and couldn’t have been more proud of herself. She had conquered her fears, and even though she had been shaking like a leaf she had stepped out on stage. Her newfound assertiveness had made it impossible for Miss Jenkins to refuse her request to stay in her costume that little bit longer.

‘Come on, my little Munchkins,’ Miss Jenkins told them as she led the remaining cast out towards the main entrance. ‘The sooner I get you lot handed over to your parents, the sooner we can all go home.’

Jasmine and Keira were holding hands as they stepped through the last set of double doors and were almost trampled over when the group surged forward while Jasmine became rooted to the spot.

‘Come on, Jazz,’ Keira said, tugging at her hand.

‘Look,’ she said, still refusing to move. Her eyes were fixed on the tall man with broad shoulders standing with her dad. ‘It’s Mr McIntyre.’

‘Who?’

‘Don’t you remember? He’s the man who told us about the Wishing Tree.’

Keira looked at him suspiciously. ‘But that was an old man with a beard.’

‘It’s him,’ Jasmine said without a shadow of a doubt.

‘What’s he doing here then?’

Jasmine bit her lip. ‘Do you think it has something to do with the Wishing Tree?’

‘Oh, Jasmine, why do you keep going on about that stupid tree?’

‘Because it has special powers, stupid.’

‘I’m not stupid – you’re stupid. And the Wishing Tree is just a stupid story that’s been made up like Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy.’

‘It is not! How do you explain how my dad got a job then?’ Jasmine replied with a frown that made her brow itch. When she rubbed at it, the orange face paint flaked beneath her fingers.

Keira swatted her friend’s hand. ‘You’re making a mess of your make-up.’

Jasmine scowled again. ‘The tree made my wish come true, Keira,’ she persisted.

‘Then how come it didn’t grant my wish then? I asked for Leah to take me with her when she went to see the new Avengers film in 3D, but she didn’t.’

Keira’s fourteen-year-old sister, Leah, was regularly called upon to babysit her younger sibling and occasionally Jasmine too since the two often came as a job lot. ‘She took us to the park though.’

‘Only because she wanted to meet her boyf—’ Keira’s voice broke off and her mouth was agog as she stared in the direction of Mr McIntyre. He wasn’t talking to Jasmine’s dad any more. ‘Oh. My. God.’

Jasmine followed her gaze. ‘What?’

‘Did you see that?’

‘No,’ Jasmine said. ‘What was it?’

‘Miss Jenkins has just kissed …’ she began but then felt the need to repeat herself and said with a hiss, ‘She just kissed the Wishing Tree Man.’

‘Yuk!’ the girls said in unison.

Leah appeared from nowhere and gave Keira a shove. ‘Will you two get a move on! Mum’s waiting for you!’

Before being dragged off by her sister, Keira turned back to Jasmine one last time. She stuck a finger down her throat to demonstrate her disgust but Jasmine remained straight-faced and solemn as she approached the group of adults that included her parents. Her mum was the only one who wasn’t deep in conversation and she was waiting with a smile.

12

Jasmine’s home: Wednesday 7 October 2015

Laura’s muscles had tensed to the point where she could hardly breathe. She was sitting on the edge of her seat, her arms wrapped around her body as she rocked back and forth. Her nose was still blocked even though she had managed to hold back the flood of tears for the past half an hour. She was staring at a stain on the rug where Jasmine had spilled some blackcurrant juice the night before. It had been a minor mishap and yet, at that moment, it felt as if that grey mark she had tried so hard to scrub away was all she had left of her daughter.

The only other tangible link Jasmine had left behind was her Minnie Mouse umbrella, but the police had taken it away for tests. Her daughter had been hiding beneath it while Laura told her not to splash in the puddles, to behave herself for Natalie, and to hold Keira’s hand on their way to school that morning. She hadn’t bothered to step out into the rain herself to make sure Jasmine reached their neighbour’s house, despite there being a knot of anxiety in her stomach. She had been sick with worry about other things – everything except Jasmine arriving safely at school – but what if it was the last time she would see her daughter? What if whoever had taken her had been watching her careless farewell?

Don’t, she told herself. Don’t give up – not yet.

Her head pounded as she tried to find a more palatable answer. What if Jasmine had walked past their neighbour’s house on purpose and had run away? Then why had her umbrella been shoved into a nearby hedge? Natalie and Keira had found it when they had given up waiting for Jasmine and had called at the house to pick her up.

The door creaked open, pulling Laura away from dark thoughts that were too terrifying to contemplate. Her hand went to her throat and she pulled at her polo neck dress to give her more room to breathe. ‘Any news, Michael?’ she asked the family liaison officer as he poked his head into the living room.

The answer was apparent from the sympathetic look on his face. ‘Sorry. I just thought you’d like to know that DCI Harper is with Mr McIntyre who says he hasn’t seen Jasmine this morning.’

‘He’s lying,’ Finn said with snarl. ‘Give me five minutes with the bastard and I’ll get the truth out of him.’

Laura could taste the tears she was holding back, but it was the bile rising in her throat that made her gag. It was the last shred of hope she had been clinging onto, and, unlike her husband, she firmly believed that if Jasmine had been with Sam, she couldn’t be in safer hands. But if Jasmine wasn’t there, then where was she? If she had run away, where else would an eight-year-old child go? And if she hadn’t run away … As a sob tore from Laura’s lungs, she felt intense pain like a red-hot poker stabbing into her ribcage, making her gasp.

‘Are you all right, Laura?’ Michael asked.

Holding a hand to her left side for support, she took a few juddering breaths before speaking. ‘Sorry, just a twinge. I’ll be fine in a minute.’

Oblivious to his wife’s distress, Finn’s rant continued unabated. ‘I told Harper how Sam must have known what he was doing from the start,’ he said to Michael. ‘Anna – Jasmine’s teacher – told me how he actually tracked me down after meeting our Jazz. Who helps a complete stranger get a job unless there’s an ulterior motive? I should have seen it coming. If anything I blame myself,’ he said, shaking his head.

Laura was staring at the rug again. So do I, she thought and almost said it out loud.

‘Looking back, it’s so bloody obvious,’ Finn continued. ‘All that nonsense he told Jasmine about the Wishing Tree. Has Harper asked him about that? It was a sick and twisted trap to lure little girls. He’ll know where she is and if he’s so much as touched a hair on her head—’

‘If Sam says he hasn’t seen her then I believe him,’ Laura said, unable to hold her tongue a second longer.

‘Yeah, but you’re just as gullible as our Jazz when it comes to the wonderful Sam McIntyre. You were even more infatuated, and don’t go denying it. Well, I hope you’re pleased with yourself, Laura,’ Finn snapped back before the two resumed their vigil in silence.

13

Thursday 9 July 2015

Laura crouched down as the little girl with the bright green wig and orange face ran into her arms. The flaking paint on her daughter’s face would leave a dusting of colour on her dress, but Laura couldn’t have stopped Jasmine hugging the life out of her even if she had wanted to.

‘You were amazing,’ Laura whispered in her ear. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

‘I was so nervous I was nearly sick! Seriously!’

‘Well, you weren’t. Well done, Jasmine.’

They both became aware that all eyes were on them and Jasmine would have continued clinging to her mum like a limpet if her dad hadn’t spoken up.

‘About time. Can we get going now?’

Laura gave Finn what she hoped was a meaningful look. It had taken all her powers of persuasion to convince him to come in the first place and she didn’t want him to get this moment wrong. Finn didn’t usually take much interest in Jasmine’s schooling but she had told him that the school play could be an important step forward for their daughter. Jasmine had been too quiet of late, making Laura painfully aware that when Finn had lost his job it had been the whole family who had been affected. Even with the temporary job there was still a good measure of insecurity in their lives and Jasmine needed to know that, despite that uncertainty, she had two parents who loved and cared for her.

When his wife’s piercing blue eyes pricked his conscience, Finn quickly added, ‘And well done from me too, Jazz.’

‘Did you work out which one was me, Dad?’

‘Of course I did, honey. You were the star of the show.’

Jasmine did her best to look sceptical but her eyes sparkled.

‘You did really well, Jasmine,’ Anna added. ‘And you should be very proud of yourself today.’ She then looked to Finn as if to say, can we go now?

Finn didn’t hesitate. ‘Me and your mum are going out for a meal now,’ he said to his daughter, ‘and you can stay over with Keira tonight as a special reward.’

Jasmine looked crestfallen and turned to her mum in the vain hope that she would overrule him. That look pulled at Laura’s heart and she wanted to tell Finn that perhaps they should put off the meal for another time. Finn hadn’t even mentioned going out and she had already eaten with Jasmine earlier. But she couldn’t risk Finn deciding to go out without her because, given half a chance, he would turn it into an all-night session and forget the small matter of getting up for work in the morning. Reluctantly, Laura cupped a hand around her daughter’s face. ‘Natalie will take you to school in the morning as usual, but I’ll see if I can leave work early and pick you up,’ she said softly. ‘We can have a special tea to celebrate, I promise.’

Tears stung Jasmine’s eyes and she wouldn’t look at her mum, choosing instead to glance towards the man who had been watching her and her mum intently without saying a word.

‘You remember Mr McIntyre, don’t you?’ Anna said. ‘He took us around Calderstones a few months ago.’

‘Is the tree all right?’ she asked.

Sam cleared his throat. ‘Stronger than ever.’

‘Don’t tell me you’re the park ranger who spun Jasmine that yarn about a tree with magical powers?’ Finn said with a laugh.

‘It’s the Wishing Tree,’ Jasmine corrected.

‘Is that so?’ her father asked. ‘I bet it didn’t grant your secret wish, did it?’

Jasmine gave a small shrug but said nothing.

‘You should know better than to fill your head with that kind of nonsense. It’s time to grow up, Jasmine,’ Finn said and then, realizing he had an audience, added gently, ‘You’re a big girl now.’

Jasmine’s lip trembled but when her dad winked at her she managed a smile and Laura knew she couldn’t put off the inevitable. ‘Go on,’ she said. ‘Natalie’s waiting for you.’

After a final hug goodbye, Jasmine scraped her heels along the floor towards Natalie. To Laura’s relief, she immediately started up an animated conversation with Keira, her disappointment apparently forgotten, and the two friends paid no further heed to their respective parents. When Natalie turned and waved at Laura to go it was all the encouragement that Finn needed.

While her husband was deep in conversation with Anna as they headed towards the car park, Laura trailed behind with Sam. Her daughter wasn’t the only one who could suffer from stage fright and, as they walked, Laura struggled to think of something to say to break the awkward silence. She knew very little about this man who wouldn’t realize how much he had turned her family around and she wanted to know more.

Sam had a powerful frame that could have made him appear intimidating, but looking at his face she didn’t think he was the type who would raise a hand in anger, not at all. A woman would feel protected in his arms and it had been a long time since Laura had felt like that with Finn. Her husband was a good man deep down, but there were times when his moods became so dark that he could see nothing but his own pain, and that was how it had been since he had lost his job at the builders’ merchants. Sam McIntyre might only think he had put in a good word to get Finn a job but he had been a shining light in their lives and Laura wished she could find the courage to tell him.

‘Thank—’ she began but Sam had also started to speak.

‘Did I get Jasmine into trouble—’ he began then stopped. ‘Sorry, what were you saying?’

‘Nothing,’ she said with a shake of the head. ‘I – I just wanted to say thank you for helping Finn get the job.’

‘Ach, it was nothing, honestly.’

There was another pause and Laura could feel herself becoming flustered. It wasn’t so much his deep voice that she was drawn to, but its gentleness, although she had the good sense not to close the distance she was deliberately keeping between them. ‘You asked about getting Jasmine into trouble?’

‘By filling her head with stories about the Wishing Tree.’

‘She has her head in the clouds most of the time and her dad thinks she needs pulling down to earth now and again, but it’s not an easy task,’ Laura said with a smile as a picture of her little Munchkin came to mind.

‘I’m guessing you didn’t know about the meal tonight,’ he said.

‘Oh, don’t worry about it. Finn does it all the time. It’s hard to keep up with him sometimes.’

Hearing his name, Finn turned around. ‘We were trying to decide where to go. How does Italian grab you?’

‘Fine by me,’ Sam said.

‘I don’t mind,’ Laura added, ‘I had something earlier so I’ll probably only pick at my food anyway.’ An expert at spotting the annoyance hidden behind the smile her husband was giving her for Sam’s benefit, she tried to sound a little more enthusiastic. ‘I’m sure I’ll have an appetite once I smell all that garlic, just don’t blame me if I end up like a big Italian Mamma.’

Sam gave her a self-conscious smile as if he wouldn’t want her to read his thoughts. ‘I can’t imagine that happening.’

An arm went around Laura’s waist and Finn pulled her away. ‘We’ll meet you there, shall we?’ he asked as Sam unlocked his Land Rover, and after confirming the restaurant and the route, they all set off.

It was Laura who drove and with the restaurant only a few minutes away Finn was quick with his questions. ‘So what do you think about Sam, then?’

‘I think they make a very nice couple,’ Laura said, choosing her words carefully. Her husband’s insecurities weren’t only restricted to his job prospects and it didn’t take much for Finn to convince himself that someone had designs on her. It made Laura especially cautious about even looking at another man, let alone having an opinion about one.