An Unwilling Desire

Alex … Alex Chance. He had hurt her more than any man had the right to hurt any human being, let alone one he professed to love. He was the reason she found it hard to love any man. She doubted if she would ever allow herself to feel those emotions again.

Neither James or Maxine came down to breakfast the next morning, although it was a Saturday, so perhaps that was understandable; James rarely worked on a Saturday, and Maxine was never an early riser. Zack Benedict didn't look as if he was normally the latter either, yawning tiredly as he came into the dining-room shortly after Holly.

She kept her lashes downcast, her gaze fixed on the cup of coffee she held in both hands, although she had noticed everything about him from the brief glance she had given him as he entered the room. He was dressed much the same as he had been when they met yesterday, tight faded denims and a casual shirt, the latter bottle green today, buttoned partly up his chest, the last three buttons left unfastened, as if he had been in too much of a hurry to bother with the rest. In fact he looked as if he had been in too much of a hurry to bother much with his appearance at all this morning, with his golden hair brushed casually back from his face.

‘Damned razor,’ he muttered as he seated himself opposite her.

‘Hm—–?’ Holly understood as she looked up; she had missed the piece of tissue sticking to an obvious cut on his chin the first time she looked at him. Although she shouldn't have done, it was large enough!

After the stilted way they had parted the night before she had been a little wary of how they were going to meet with any politeness today, but at the sight of the bloodied piece of ragged tissue sticking to his chin she had no hesitation in bursting out laughing. She had never imagined she could ever find anything about this man remotely funny, and yet the sight of him showing such a human weakness as cutting himself shaving sent her into uncontrollable laughter.

Green eyes darkened appreciatively as Zack watched her with an emotion akin to amazement. ‘Do you have any idea what a difference it makes?’ he asked at last.

‘Sorry?’ She still smiled.

‘When you laugh it's as if the sun had just come out,’ Zack told her softly. ‘Beautiful.’

She flushed at the unexpected compliment. ‘Do you have any idea how funny you look?’ she brought the subject straight back to him.

He shrugged. ‘Would you rather I'd subjected you to the sight of just the horrific gash and my life's blood slowly seeping away? Forget I asked that,’ he grimaced. ‘You'd probably stand by and cheer!’

Holly sobered completely now. ‘Mr Benedict—–’

‘Let's not start that again,’ he sighed.

‘All right,’ she nodded. ‘Look, I know we got off to a bad start, but if you really are going to stay here for any length of time we can't continue to argue like this.’ She had thought this all out last night before she went to sleep, and if she were to continue in the employment of James's secretary she couldn't continue to be at loggerheads with his brother—even if he did antagonise her until she had to retaliate. Much as she disliked having to be the one to apologise, she knew she couldn't let things remain strained between herself and this arrogantly mocking man. ‘I'm sorry I was rude to you last night. I—It was all a bit of a shock, James and Maxine's argument—–’

‘And then our own,’ he drawled.

She flushed at the taunt. ‘And then ours,’ she acknowledged huskily.

‘Why did you stop?’

‘Stop what?’ She gave him a puzzled frown.

‘Laughing.’ His gaze was intent on her face. ‘It was as if all the lights went out.’ He relaxed back in his chair, the delicate wood creaking under his heavy frame. ‘You're right, Holly, we can't keep arguing all the time,’ he said slowly. ‘So what do you suggest we do, become friends?’

She swallowed hard at the husky implication behind his words. ‘I was thinking more of acquaintances,’ she amended.

Zack grinned. ‘I've never been acquaintances with a woman, it might be quite interesting at that.’ He sipped his coffee, giving her a sideways glance. ‘Don't acquaintances ask after your health?’

This time the colour flooded her cheeks, and she almost choked over the toast she was eating. ‘Are you—all right?’ she asked as soon as she had her voice under control.

‘I believe I'll have to take things easy for a few days,’ he answered with innocent casualness. ‘But after that I should be fine.’

His answer was so blandly given that it was all she could do not to laugh again. Zack Benedict really was the most extraordinary man …!

‘Tell me, Holly?’ he leant towards her with a serious expression, ‘do you think I've stopped bleeding to death now?’

Her lips twitched with amusement, but she gave the question serious consideration. ‘Yes, I think so,’ she nodded. ‘Are you usually this forgiving?’ She referred to his calm dismissal of the injury she had inflicted on him the evening before.

‘Only with women who have Elizabeth Taylor eyes,’ he flirted wickedly. ‘Be a good girl and take this tissue off for me. If it looks like bleeding again stick it back on quick; this is my second clean shirt today, I got blood all over the first one.’

With any other man Holly would have shied away from this intimacy, but after last night she knew he would have second thoughts about attempting to kiss her again, possibly even third and fourth ones!

‘What are you thinking?’ He was watching her with narrowed eyes.

‘Nothing very important,’ she dismissed coolly.

‘I'll bet.’ He sat forward so that his chin was easily accessible. ‘Those violet eyes hide a multitude of sins!’

Holly met his gaze steadily. ‘Not as many as yours, I'm sure,’ she replied tartly.

Zack gave a deep throaty laugh of pure enjoyment. ‘I'm sure too,’ he grinned. ‘So how about taking off the tissue?’

His jaw felt firm beneath her touch, the skin rough from the beard that grew there. It was years since she had touched a man in any way, and she removed the tissue as quickly as possible.

‘Tell me the bad news,’ he grimaced, looking at her expectantly.

There was quite a deep groove in his chin, the skin looked red and sore. ‘That's quite a nasty cut,’ she told him softly.

‘Mm,’ he pulled a face, rubbing his jaw ruefully. ‘For some reason I didn't have my mind on what I was doing this morning.’

The way he was looking at her seemed to imply that she was partly, if not all, the reason for his lack of concentration. Holly flushed, attempting to move away from him. But not quite soon enough! The door suddenly opened behind them, the soft whirring sound of James's chair announcing his arrival before he spoke. Holly sprang away from Zack Benedict as if he burnt her, aware by the narrowing of James's eyes that he saw the movement as one of guilt, looking questioning at his brother, his mouth firm with disapproval.

‘James,’ Zack stood up lithely. ‘How is Maxine this morning?’

Holly watched as James's face darkened, wondering why Zack Benedict felt it necessary to instantly antagonise his brother. The question about Maxine was inflammatory, and she felt sure the man seated opposite her at the table was well aware of it.

‘I have no idea,’ James snapped. ‘As usual I doubt if we'll be honoured with her presence until lunchtime. I came to see if you would mind working this morning, Holly?’ he looked at her.

‘I—–’

‘On a Saturday, James?’ the other man taunted. ‘Give the poor girl a break!’

‘Holly?’ James demanded stiffly, ignoring his brother.

He was no less strained today, in fact if anything he looked worse. Obviously he and Maxine were still at odds with each other. Holly often worked with James on a Saturday, although with his wife back she hadn't expected to do so today.

‘Why don't you have some breakfast first?’ Zack suggested before she could make any reply. ‘Relax a little,’ he encouraged.

Hazel eyes were coldly angry as James looked at his brother. ‘I relaxed yesterday, now it's time to get back to work. Holly?’ He gave her a hard stare.

She pushed back her chair and stood up. ‘I'm ready whenever you are.’

‘Now,’ he rasped, turning his chair to leave the room, clearly expecting her to follow him.

Holly watched his departure with hurt in her wide violet eyes. James had never spoken to her like this before, although she realised Zack Benedict's taunts hadn't helped to improve the other man's already volcanic mood.

‘I shouldn't keep him waiting,’ Zack murmured mockingly. ‘He's likely to explode!’

She gave him a resentful look for his amusement. ‘You didn't exactly help the situation!’

His brows rose. ‘Was I supposed to?’

‘James is your brother—–’

‘And yesterday and today are the first times I've seen him show any real damned emotion in the years since his accident!’ he rasped. ‘I'll do anything in my power to make that continue.’

‘Even if you hurt him in the process?’

‘Yes,’ his eyes glittered, ‘even if I hurt him. At least that way I know he's alive!’

‘Zack …?’ She looked at him with puzzled eyes, not understanding his vehemence.

‘Go and do your work, Holly, and don't worry about my goading James; I know what I'm doing.’

She left him with a worried frown and went slowly down to James's study, moving quickly and quietly behind the desk she used when in there as he looked up with a scowl. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled as he made no effort to speak.

‘For what?’ he bit out.

‘I—Well, for—I'm not too sure,’ she finished awkwardly. ‘You seem angry about something.’

James gave a heavy sigh, relaxing a little. ‘Just how friendly have you and Zack become since he arrived yesterday?’

‘I—I beg your pardon?’ She gave a deep frown.

He seemed to be avoiding looking at her directly. ‘I happen to care a great deal for Zack—–’

‘He cares for you too.’ She had no doubt about that now, was convinced he covered that caring with taunts and jibes that would bring about a reaction in James—any reaction. She didn't understand such caring herself, but James and Zack seemed to understand each other very well.

‘Yes,’ James acknowledged with impatience. ‘And it isn't just because we're brothers; we genuinely care for each other. It's because I know Zack so well that I also know you shouldn't become involved with him.’

‘But I—–’

‘Zack changes his women so often I think sometimes even he gets them confused,’ James continued grimly. ‘He's a flirtatious charmer, and if you become involved with him he'd only succeed in hurting you.’

‘But I'm not in the least interested in him!’ she at last managed to say exasperatedly.

He shook his head. ‘I saw how close the two of you were just now, and I'm sure Zack didn't waste his time alone with you last night.’

‘You know Maxine left straight after you did?’ Her eyes were wide.

‘Yes,’ he nodded grimly. ‘She came to my room in the hope of having a slanging match; I refused to assist her. Surely you've realised my marriage is falling apart, Holly?’

‘I'm sure that if the two of you talked—–’

‘We would get nowhere,’ he finished firmly. ‘Maxine is no longer the type of wife I need, and we both know it. It's only a question of time before we separate for good.’

‘I—I'm sorry,’ she said in a pained voice, knowing how much this irrevocable breakdown must be hurting him. ‘If there's anything I can do—–’

‘Stay with me, Holly.’ His expression was intent, one of his hands coming out to grasp hers firmly. ‘Stay with me,’ he repeated softly. ‘I need you.’

She didn't know how to answer him, wasn't able to, as she saw a slight movement out of the corner of her eye, suddenly seeing Zack Benedict as he strolled casually through the garden. The french doors from this room opened out into the garden, and they were open now. How much of the conversation had Zack Benedict heard? If he had heard any of it at all he must find it very amusing, each brother now having warned her about the other. Although it looked as if his warning about James wasn't altogether unwarranted. The question was, what was she going to do about it!

‘I'll be your secretary for as long as you want me to,’ she was deliberately naïve. ‘You know I enjoy working here.’

‘That wasn't quite what I meant,’ James scowled his impatience. ‘I want—–’

‘Sorry to interrupt you, James,’ Zack spoke in a voice that said he wasn't sorry at all, as he walked in from the sunlit garden, ‘but I just thought I should let you know that I'm driving Maxine into town for an hour; she needs to buy some things she forgot in London. I didn't interrupt you—working, did I?’ He raised blond brows at Holly's hand still clasped in his brother's.

Holly removed her hand with a guilty blush, knowing by the mockery in the dark green eyes that he had chosen to misunderstand the situation. He had no reason to condemn her on so little, not when he was so obviously more than a brother-in-law to the beautiful Maxine! She noticed the green eyes narrow slightly, almost as if he had been able to read her thoughts. Well, she didn't care if he had, she had been doing nothing wrong when he came into the room.

‘Maxine is up, then?’ James didn't bother to answer his brother's question, asking one of his own.

‘Well, I could hardly be taking her into town if she weren't,’ Zack baited.

James's scowl deepened. ‘Why doesn't she drive herself? You aren't a taxi service.’

‘It just so happens that I offered to drive her,’ the other man told him sharply. ‘It is her first day here,’ he added abruptly. ‘I thought she could do with the company. Unless you …?’

‘No,’ James rasped. ‘Holly and I have some work to do.’

Mocking green eyes raked over her assessingly, almost as if Zack Benedict were accusing her of something. It wasn't too difficult to imagine what, not after what he had seen and heard! How could she possibly claim her innocence after this?

He nodded slightly. ‘I'll leave you to it, then. Don't work too hard.’ He left the same way he had entered, leaving an awkward silence behind him.

Holly didn't know whether to be grateful or angry at his interruption, knowing by his attitude that he had chosen to misunderstand what he had heard.

‘Where were we?’ asked James with impatience.

‘We were going to do some work on the book,’ she said briskly, wanting to divert his attention away from what they had really been discussing. She stood up. ‘I have the research notes you wanted in my desk, I'll go and get them.’

‘Holly—–’

‘Yes?’ She turned at the door, willing him not to tell her again how much he needed her.

He seemed to hesitate, then he nodded. ‘Go and get the notes,’ he said gruffly.

She escaped the room with relief, leaning back against the door for several seconds, then moving quickly to her office as she realised James would become concerned with the passing of time.

She had unlocked her desk and taken the papers out of the drawer when her office door opened without warning. Zack Benedict entered the room, closing the door to lean back against it, his arms folded in front of his chest.

Holly straightened at the blatant mockery in his face. ‘What can I do for you, Mr Benedict?’ she enquired coolly.

‘You can tell me what you intend to do now that it appears my brother thinks he's in love with you too.’ His eyes were as hard as the emeralds they resembled.

CHAPTER THREE

‘YOU were listening?’

He gave her an arrogant inclination of his head. ‘Perhaps instead of looking so outraged you should think yourself lucky that I was the one who decided to take a walk in the garden.’

Holly paled a little. ‘Maxine …?’

‘She is his wife—–’

‘If you think I encouraged that scene you witnessed with James then you're mistaken,’ Holly snapped. ‘You have no right to accuse me of—–’

‘I haven't accused you of anything,’ Zack reasoned smoothly. ‘I just want to know what you're going to do about this situation.’

She flushed. ‘I'm not sure there is a situation—–’

‘Don't be ridiculous, Holly,’ the usually lazily mocking man lost his temper with her. ‘Of course there's a situation!’ He glanced impatiently at his wrist-watch. ‘I just don't have the time to argue with you about it now, you have to get back to James and I have to drive Maxine into town. But we'll talk when I get back,’ he warned, opening the door. ‘I may not have accused you of anything yet, but I will if you can't think of a way to sort out this mess so that no one gets hurt.’

‘Mr Benedict—–’

‘Give it some thought, Holly,’ he advised softly, all laughter missing from a man she had thought found humour in everything. ‘Because this certainly can't go on.’

The room was curiously silent and empty after he had gone, and Holly knew that although she had done nothing personally to merit his anger he had a perfect right to feel it. The whole situation was turning into a farce, and she was going to be the innocent victim if she wasn't careful. Once again! She had been blamed for something that wasn't her fault once before, she couldn't let it happen again.

Fortunately James seemed to have forgotten all about the conversation she found so embarrassing by the time she returned with her notes, and with Maxine and Zack out of the house they were able to work steadily through the morning, James only calling a halt to it when he heard the other couple returning for lunch.

‘I suppose we'll have to join them.’ He didn't looked very pleased at the prospect.

‘I'll just go and freshen up,’ she nodded, no more eager to see Zack again than James seemed to be about his wife. And only yesterday morning she had thought how happy she was here; that idea was fast disintegrating.

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