His Secondhand Wife

Noah laid down his fork. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

Tears smarted behind her eyes. She blinked to keep them from falling, but the attempt was useless. She’d been foolish to fall for Levi and everyone would know it soon enough if they didn’t already.

Noah felt more awkward than ever at Katherine’s distress. She had loved his brother. He understood because he had loved him, too, but Levi’s callous behavior stuck in his craw. It took only the smallest thing to please Katherine. She was delighted with flowers and stars. Sunsets and good weather fairly made her delirious. So far he hadn’t heard her speak of anything that she couldn’t paint in cheerful colors.

It would have been so easy for Levi to make this woman happy. Why the thought angered him more than any other, he didn’t know. Maybe because without the least effort Levi could have had everything Noah could never hope for. And he’d thrown it all away. Got himself killed and left a wife and babe behind.

Katherine’s silent tears were far more eloquent than Estelle’s histrionics. Noah was completely at a loss as to how to react to a crying woman. Though they shared the loss, they were strangers. He could think of nothing to say that would change anything or bring her comfort.

So, as usual, he said nothing.

Chapter Four

Kate was grateful that Estelle didn’t come to the Rockin’ C on Friday. She used the reprieve to rest and to learn the layout of the house and outbuildings.

At noon Fergie brought her a bowl of stew and a chunk of bread.

“What is everyone doing?” she asked.

“Roundin’ up cows and branding,” he replied. “Takes weeks in the spring.”

She saw Noah only at supper when he brought two plates of food from the meal kitchen.

“I could cook you supper whenever you like,” she told him.

“No need to double the effort. Fergie cooks every night.”

The beans were tasty and the golden-baked corn bread was perfection. She couldn’t have done half as well. Noah couldn’t realize the wise choice he’d made in declining her offer.

But she felt the need to contribute.

Noah had placed a crock of butter and a jar of jelly on the table near her, then dipped portions onto his plate before seating himself at the far end. Kate thought eating together would be nicer and simpler if they sat closer. She moved the crock and jar nearer him, moved her plate, then took the chair to his right.

“I was surprised the first time I saw that whole crock of butter on the table. Estelle had to tell me to help myself.”

He stopped eating.

She glanced at him.

He lowered his hands to his lap without looking at her.

Kate reached for the butter and spread some on her warm corn bread.

“This is a treat,” she told him. “At home we rarely had butter. It was too expensive to buy from the general store. Estelle said someone on the ranch probably makes this.”

“Fergie.”

“I would enjoy seeing how he does it.” She noticed that he hadn’t picked up his fork and resumed eating. Setting down her slice of corn bread, she dropped her hands to her lap. “Have I done something wrong? You didn’t want me to sit here, did you?”

Quickly she got up and took her plate back to the opposite side of the table. “I just thought it would be easier to talk. I’m sorry.”

She’d lost some of her appetite and her cheerful mood faded. The fact that he didn’t want her near made her feel as though she wasn’t good enough. Surely he hadn’t intended to make her feel that way, but it was her impression all the same. “You’ve been very generous,” she told him softly. “I’m grateful to be here and I’ll try not to step over the boundaries.”

He picked up his fork and held it suspended a moment before finishing his meal. It was difficult to be in his company when she couldn’t see his expression or read his eyes. He shut himself completely away from her and obviously preferred it that way, so she’d just as soon get used to it.

When he was done eating, he got up and went back outside.

Kate washed and dried the dishes, then wandered the house. She found the books he’d told her of and selected one. She’d been reading in the parlor for an hour or so when the back door opened and closed and the sound of another door indicated he’d shut himself in the back room. She shouldn’t feel slighted. The man hadn’t asked for her company and was generously sharing his home. He didn’t have to like her or to spend time with her. Kate took the book upstairs and read until she fell asleep.

Saturday was no different from any other day of the week. The men did the same chores at the same times. But that night after Fergie prepared supper in the meal house, Kate learned that most of the hands left the ranch for the evening.

Marjorie sent a message with Tipper that Kate was welcome to ride to church with them the following morning. Kate decided she would enjoy the outing and the company, so she accepted.

She had washed and dried her good dresses, and now she heated the flatiron and pressed the rows of ruffles until they stood out like new. She hummed as she worked, and the words to the song came to her unconsciously.

Noah stood on the porch listening to Katherine sing. Her voice was as pure and sweet as the woman herself. After having her in his home all week, he was still astounded at her dauntless cheer and optimism. Being in her company, he felt like an ugly wormhole on a rosy apple.

Standing in the darkness, he didn’t have to see her to picture her hair in the glow of the lanterns, tresses as rich and thick as honey. In the sunlight it shone with a life of its own. Her eyes were dark with emotion and sparkling with life. She had skin as smooth and pure as fresh cream. Looking at her was like squinting at the sun on a bright day. Her prettiness was so good and so warm that it hurt.

Sometimes he wondered how Levi had met her. At the laundry, he supposed. He’d probably invited her to dinner or for a carriage ride and had easily won her heart. The marrying part confused him still. Levi hadn’t been one to stay in one place or to commit for longer than a few weeks at a time. Noah had raised countless puppies and even a raccoon that Levi had brought home and quickly lost interest in. The hound that followed him around the ranch now was the whelp of one of Levi’s strays.

This was different. This wasn’t a pet he’d tired of feeding and cleaning up after. This was a woman who needed provision and protection. A woman and a child. When Noah thought about the baby, he couldn’t help wondering if a baby would find his appearance frightening. Or since the child would be exposed to him from an early age, would he simply accept Noah’s appearance? It seemed logical that a baby would be more tolerant than adults.

The child would eat at Noah’s table and learn to ride his horses and grow to manhood on the Rockin’ C.

A corrective wave of caution followed that thought. Or womanhood. The baby could be born a female. If so, Katherine would do all the raisin’. He didn’t know the first thing about females.

Secretly he hoped Katherine’s baby was a boy.

“Have you ever known Noah to attend church?” Kate asked Marjorie the following morning as they sat together on the wagon seat.

“Never,” she replied. “He doesn’t attend anything where folks are gathered. Doesn’t even come to town if it’s something the hands can take care of.”

“Can’t be healthy, staying to himself like that for his whole life. Folks need friends.”

“Been that way as long as I’ve known him.”

They arrived at the little white church and Marjorie introduced Kate to a few parishioners she hadn’t met at the funeral.

As soon as Estelle saw Kate, she bustled over. She was dressed in black from head to toe, and her expression did not convey pleasure at seeing Kate. “You’ll sit with me, dear.”

Marjorie gave Kate an encouraging smile and took a seat with her husband.

Estelle led Kate up the aisle to one of the first wooden pews. “I’ll speak with the Bensons after church and see to it that one of them brings you to town tomorrow. We can’t have you dressed like that—you’re a Cutter now. We have an early appointment with Annie for measuring. She’ll have fabrics and patterns for us to go over.”

Kate smoothed the dress Estelle so obviously disdained over her lap and folded her hands.

“You need gloves, too. A lady always wears gloves in public. I’ve invited the Huttons to have dinner with us after church. Walter is Copper Creek’s schoolteacher and his wife, Rose, helps with Sunday school. They are a lovely couple.”

Preacher Davidson greeted them on his way to the pulpit and within minutes the service was under way. It was much the same as the church Kate had always attended with her mother, except that they had always sat in the rear with the laborers. It seemed the folks were divided in this congregation, as well. The Sweetwaters, who Kate knew were bankers, sat in the front and the hands from the Rockin’ C were in the back of the room.

She had the feeling that she should be sitting back there with them, but Estelle had practically nailed her to this pew.

After the service, Estelle was greeted by neighbors, and she made a point of pushing Kate toward them as though insisting they accept her. Kate recognized more than a few odd glances and took note of whispers behind gloved hands.

Annie Carpenter made a point of drawing her away and saying hello. She held a bright-eyed toddler she introduced as her daughter, Rebecca.

“I didn’t know you had a child.” Kate smiled at the chubby little girl. “She’s beautiful.”

“We’ll have another one in the fall,” Annie told her.

Her smile told Kate that learning a baby was on the way hadn’t struck terror into her heart as it had hers.

“And you have time to sew, as well,” Kate said with admiration.

“That’s why I need help now,” Annie said. A pretty dimpled young woman joined them. “This is my cousin, Charmaine Renlow.”

Charmaine’s eyes widened when she met Kate. “Oh my! You’re living out on the ranch with Noah Cutter? Aren’t you frightened?”

“Why, no.”

“I’ve heard frightful things about the man. Some of the stories say he hunts with his bare hands and eats raw meat.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Kate replied, offended for the man who’d been so kind to her. “He eats the same as everyone else. And it’s all cooked by Fergie.”

“I’ve never seen him up close,” Charmaine added with a conspiratorial whisper, “but they say he’s hideous to look upon.”

Her words confirmed what Estelle had told Kate, though she hadn’t had a straight-on good look at him herself. She couldn’t really deny what she wasn’t sure of. But she could certainly attest to his character. “He’s one of the kindest men I ever met. I suspect much of the talk has been aggravated above the truth.”

“For your sake, I hope that’s so,” Charmaine said sweetly. A young man approached then and she blushed at his arrival. “Katherine, this is Wayne.” An unexpected Southern drawl laced Charmaine’s tone as soon as he joined them.

Wayne nodded at Kate politely. “How do, Mrs. Cutter.”

No one had ever called her Mrs. Cutter before and she glanced aside for Estelle before she realized he had referred to her.

“We’re having dinner with my parents this afternoon,” Charmaine told her, and slipped her arm into the crook of Wayne’s. “And a croquet match. I’m going to let him win this time.”

Estelle found Kate and took her arm then, and Kate wished the young people a goodbye. Their way of life was as far away from hers as the sky was from the ground where she walked. She’d spent her growing-up years laboring to make money for food and a place to live, and she’d earned her way by washing clothes for people just like these. She’d be willing to bet these young women had never had to want for anything. They went directly from comfortable homes with their parents to good marriages.

Kate didn’t begrudge them a thing. She simply had nothing in common with them.

Or with Estelle and the Huttons as it turned out. Estelle’s cook had prepared rack of lamb, string beans and something called a Caruso salad with lettuce, tomatoes and a tangy sweet fruit topped with paprika and oil dressing. Kate speared a piece of the fruit. “What is this?”

“Why, it’s pineapple, dear,” Estelle replied.

Kate closed her eyes. “It’s incredible.”

“You’ve never tasted pineapple before?” Rose Hutton asked.

“No, ma’am. I expect there’s a lot I’ve missed. But I’m enjoying learning now.”

“I’m trying to convince Katherine to live here with me,” Estelle told the Huttons. “She seems to feel an unfounded obligation to Levi’s stepbrother.”

Estelle’s home was elegant, no doubt about it. Kate had never seen furnishings so plush or rooms so ornate. Everywhere she looked there was another painting or vase or Oriental rug or brocade settee. But none of the rooms seemed as comfortable or as welcoming as the room Noah had given her. The opulence here didn’t appeal to her as much as the serenity of the ranch house she wanted to think of as her home. She didn’t want to have to explain her reasons to Estelle again. She’d already told her she didn’t want to live in the city.

She couldn’t think of much else to say that afternoon. The time seemed to drag. Once the Huttons had gone, Estelle sat her down in the parlor. “There is talk,” she said.

“What kind of talk?”

“About you being on the ranch alone with that man.”

“We’re not alone. There are hands.”

“Not living in the house, there aren’t. It simply isn’t proper. You shouldn’t be living alone with him.”

“I guess I don’t know much about proper. All I know is he’s kind and I like living there.”

Estelle clearly didn’t approve of her reply. When she had her groomsman take Kate home, Kate was grateful for the escape. If that’s what Sundays would be like, maybe she didn’t want to go to town in the future.

She changed into a day dress and read in her room for an hour or so before she went downstairs and found a tin of tea. She had just brewed a pot when Noah entered the kitchen.

“Good evening. Would you like to join me for a cup of tea?”

He glanced at the pot on the table. “All right.”

She took out two cups and poured the tea, setting one at the spot he preferred.

He took a seat.

She studied his carefully averted face, wishing she could see him better. “Sugar?”

“Yes.”

She watched him dip a spoonful and stir. Picking up the cup, he took a sip. Raw meat indeed.

“I saw many of the folks who were here for Levi’s funeral today. Most were friendly. Some stared and whispered though. I met Annie’s cousin and a fellow named Wayne. Appears they’re sweet on each other.”

He acknowledged her chatter with a nod.

“Estelle’s home is lovely. Her cook made us an elegant dinner. Lamb, can you fancy that? And I tasted pineapple for the first time. It’s the sweetest fruit I’ve ever had.

“The hillsides between here and town are bright blankets of purple aster. It’s early for those, don’t you think?”

As though he thought he should reply, he said, “Might be early.”

“Estelle made us an appointment tomorrow with Annie Carpenter.” She set down the cup she’d been holding. “I have to confess that I’m not entirely comfortable about having a lot of new clothing made for me.”

“You need clothing.”

True, she didn’t have dresses to fit her growing figure, but the garments certainly didn’t need to be expensive. She wouldn’t be wearing them but for a few more months. “I was thinking I could ask Annie to show me how to help her and I could do some of the sewing myself.”

“Estelle sets store by Annie’s work.”

“And I’m sure it’s worthy of the praise, but I could make up for some of the cost by helping.”

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