His Secondhand Wife

“Yes, ma’am. And you’re Levi’s mother?”

Tears welled in the woman’s eyes. She turned away, set down the vase and tugged off her black gloves. “I can’t believe he’s gone. He was my only child.”

The complete lack of regard for her stepson struck Kate as insensitive, but she replied, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

She faced Kate once again. “You’re with child?”

Kate unconsciously touched her stomach. “Yes.”

“Noah didn’t bother to tell me.”

“He didn’t know until two days ago. I don’t think he knew about me until then. I’m not quite sure how he did know to find me.”

“He said the men who…associated with Levi in Masonville told him where he’d find you.”

“Oh. I see.”

Estelle moved to the nearest window and opened the shade with a cluck of disapproval. “Can’t have you sitting in the dark now, can we?”

“I just finished bathing and ironing my dress.”

Estelle glanced from the tub of water to Kate’s dress. Her mouth seemed pinched when she said, “Don’t you have something black? You’re in mourning, after all.”

“This is my nicest dress. I know it barely fits now, but it’s quite pretty.”

“As my son’s wife, you’ll need appropriate clothing.”

Kate looked down at her ruffled bodice and some of her optimism faded. Perhaps the dress was inappropriate for a widow.

The woman opened the door and hurried onto the back stoop where she rang the dinner bell.

Two hands came running as though there was an emergency. “Somethin’ wrong, Mizz Cutter?”

“Come empty the tub before company arrives,” she instructed.

They glanced at one another and lumbered forward.

“Harper Kimble,” the man with a mustache said to Kate as he passed. He wore fringed trousers and a red shirt with flowing sleeves.

“Kate Cutter,” she replied. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Newt Warren, ma’am,” the other man said as he picked up a bucket. The two of them bailed bathwater and Estelle picked up the flowers and led Kate into the dining room.

After placing the vase on the table, the woman left the shades down on the other windows and lit candles, then moved to stand beside the coffin. “Why is it closed?”

Kate shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Have you not looked upon your husband?”

She hadn’t thought of it. Hadn’t wanted to really. Noah told her he was in there and that was good enough for her. “No.”

“Mr. Kimble! Mr. Warren!” Estelle called.

The two men appeared in the doorway.

“One more thing. Please remove the lid from my son’s casket.”

They moved into the room and Kate took a step back.

One man stood on each end and they lifted off the wood and set it against the wall behind the sawhorses. With heads lowered respectfully, the men gazed upon the body.

“That will be all.” Estelle waited until they’d left the room before she moved to stand beside the coffin. She trembled and raised a handkerchief to her eyes, sobbing out loud.

Kate’s breath caught in her throat. She didn’t want to look at Levi, but couldn’t help herself. She gazed upon his handsome profile, noticed the way his hair was combed uncharacteristically away from his forehead.

“He was a beautiful baby,” Estelle cried. “A beautiful golden-haired child and the most handsome man. Isn’t he handsome?”

Kate nodded. Levi had been handsome, no question about it. Even his smile stole a woman’s breath.

Estelle blotted her eyes and asked, “Who dressed him?”

Kate peered at the dark suit Levi wore. She’d never seen it before.

“I did.” Noah spoke from behind them.

Startled, Kate turned. For the first time she saw him without a hat. His chin-length hair hung over the side of his face and combined with his beard to hide his features.

The older woman turned and glared at her stepson. “You might have covered the sawhorses and brought in flowers. Is this the best you could do for a coffin for your only brother?”

Noah stared back at her. “Pretty ’im up, huh? Wouldn’t change anything, would it?”

Despite the beard, Kate noted that his mouth turned up with an odd sort of grimace at the corner and that that side didn’t move when he spoke. Perhaps that was the reason his speech sounded unusual.

“I might have known you wouldn’t show him any respect.”

“I loved him—I don’t respect what he did.”

Estelle cast him a censoring frown. “Are you going to speak of it in front of her?”

“She knows. Asked what happened and I told her.”

“You might have spared her.”

“Spared you, you mean.”

“You’re a dreadful man.”

Shocked, Kate spoke up. “I made Noah tell me. I wanted the truth. He’s been nothing but kind and considerate of my feelings and my well-being. You have no call to be angry with him, I assure you.”

“You poor girl,” Estelle said, moving to drape her arm around Kate’s shoulders. “What a burden you’ve been given. First Levi’s untimely death and then exposure to this heathen. You’ll come home with me after the funeral tomorrow. I have room for you, and you won’t have to stay here another minute longer than necessary.”

“That’s very kind of you. But I think this arrangement is going to work out just fine. I’d rather not live in town. Noah has my best interests at heart, I’m convinced.”

“Don’t be foolish, dear. You’re understandably upset and you’re not thinking clearly. You’ll be better off with me—another woman. You’ll be closer to the doctor and the stores and there are many social activities to help pass your days. I know firsthand what a dreadful bore it is being out here on this godforsaken ranch day after day.”

Kate experienced a twinge of anger at the woman for supposing to know what she wanted and deciding what was best for her without bothering to ask. She didn’t want to offend Levi’s mother, but neither did she want to have her choices made for her.

Her resistance seemed laughable, really, if she thought about it, because Noah had insisted she come with him, as well. But she’d wanted to accompany him. She did not want to leave with Estelle. “I’ll remember your kind invitation if I should ever change my mind.”

Estelle turned to glare at Noah. “That’s my son’s baby. You won’t keep him from me.”

Noah had turned to leave, but paused in the doorway. “No, that’s Katherine’s baby. The choices are hers.”

He left and the two women exchanged a glance. Kate felt a surge of satisfaction because Noah had stood up to the woman on her account.

The sound of a horse and buggy prevented any further discussion as the first guests of the day arrived to pay their respects. Levi had been the son of a town founder, part owner of the Rockin’ C, and townsfolk and neighboring ranchers trailed through for hours. As dusk settled, the string of visitors finally ended.

“Wasn’t it odd that Noah didn’t attend all day?” Kate asked Estelle. She had met dozens of curious strangers, some she sensed were only there to look around, but Noah had kept his distance.

“The man’s not fit for society and he knows his place,” she replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Even his own father couldn’t bear the sight of him.”

“You make it sound as though Noah is some kind of monster.”

“Indeed.”

“I’ve noticed his speech is odd. What I can see of his mouth looks somewhat…different.”

“Hideous, you mean. As is his entire face.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“An accident scarred him. Don’t make me talk about him—it’s too unpleasant. We’ve plenty of dishes to choose from for our supper. It’s so kind of the ladies to bring gifts of sympathy. Let’s set the kitchen table and dine now, shall we?” She opened a cupboard. “Not a decent piece of china in the entire house.” After looking over the items to choose from, Estelle selected two chipped plates and arranged place settings.

“What about Noah? You’ve only set places for two.”

“He won’t join us. He eats alone.”

“He ate with me last night.”

Estelle gave her a surprised glance.

Noah entered the house at that moment, his hat low over his forehead.

“Will you be sharing our meal?” Kate asked hopefully.

He glanced at Estelle, then at the two plates on the table. “No.”

“Please?”

Kate’s soft plea stopped him in his tracks. He turned to eye her.

“Please join us,” she said again.

Ignoring Estelle’s scowl, he took off the hat and hung it beside the door, then turned back and seated himself at the far end of the table.

Quickly, Kate got another plate and more silverware and set it in front of him. Moving close to do so, she noted the back of his right hand, dark from the sun, but ridged with a jagged pale scar. What kind of accident had scarred his hands and his face? A fall from a horse? They weren’t burns.

“Mrs. Krenshaw brought buttermilk,” she said cheerfully. “Do you like buttermilk?”

He nodded without looking at her, and she poured a Mason jar full to set in front of him.

After taking the warmed casseroles and dishes from the oven, she served Noah and then she and Estelle seated themselves.

“Katherine will need appropriate clothing,” Estelle said brusquely. “Black for mourning and material adequate for the coming months. I will take her to Annie Carpenter’s place. Annie still sews for a select few women, and she’s the best seamstress in a hundred miles.” To Kate, she added, “Comes from a fine family, Annie does. The Sweetwaters have a lovely home. Annie married the blacksmith. Her parents weren’t too happy about that at first, but he provides well for her.”

“I don’t want to be a burden. I can work to pay for my own clothing.” Kate looked to Noah. “I can take in laundry if you don’t mind me using your tubs. I see there’s a fine room in which to do the chore. I could have more clothesline strung.”

“Certainly not,” Estelle answered immediately. “Cutter women do not take in laundry. You’re Levi’s wife and as the mother of his child, you’re entitled to privileges. This ranch provides more than enough to meet your needs.”

“I wouldn’t mind, really.” Estelle made it sound as though there was shame in the task.

Noah finished a bite. “Don’t recall ever agreein’ before, but Estelle’s right. You don’t need to take in laundry.”

Estelle bobbed her head as though punctuating his speech. “You see? I’m right.”

Kate stared at her plate, wishing she knew a way to earn her keep that would be acceptable to these two. As much as they seemed to detest each other, they both wanted her with them and wanted her taken care of. “I’m fortunate that you both care so much about my well-being and that of my child. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, dear,” Estelle replied.

Noah finished his meal without another word. When he was done, he rose and shut himself in his little room.

“Boorish man,” Estelle said, picking up plates.

“I’ll get these,” Kate told her. She had already seen Tipper carry a valise up the stairs and had surmised that Estelle was staying the night. “You go up and rest. Tomorrow is another full day, and you want to be fresh.”

“Yes, thank you. You’re very thoughtful. Good night, dear.”

“Good night.”

Since Noah wasn’t there to insist she set the plates out of doors for someone else to wash, Kate took care of them.

Afterward, she took her coat from beside the door and escaped out into the cool night air. The darkness and quiet were complete and all-encompassing out here in the foothills. Kate walked away from the house and stood beneath the night sky where she took a deep, cleansing breath. Everything was clean here. New. She had a fresh start.

She sensed more than heard someone approach and turned to discover Noah’s broad form in the moonlight.

“You all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I just came out to enjoy the sky and the air. It’s so fresh, don’t you think? Better than perfume. Better than clean laundry. I can smell blossoms. I wonder what they are. Have you ever smelled anything equal to this? Just look at the sky. It goes on forever, doesn’t it? I feel like a little speck way down here on the ground.”

“She upset you?”

She glanced at him. “Estelle? No, she’s been very kind to me. She’s anguished over losing her son and that’s understandable. I feel bad for her.”

He grunted.

“You two are not close.”

He looked across the dark pasture. “My father married her when I was eight. Had her own child soon and never had much use for me. She didn’t like this place, wanted a house in town.”

“But this is such beautiful country and the house is perfect. I can’t imagine anyone not loving it here.”

“Estelle hated that my father built the house for my mother.”

“Oh, I see. That’s a shame.”

Amazingly, Noah offered more information. “She stayed awhile after Levi was born. But as he got older, he wanted to work the horses with us. She moved to town.”

What kind of mother left two children behind so that she could live in a nicer house? “When did your father die?”

“Several years later.”

“I never knew my father. After Mama married him, he got gold fever. He lit out for the gold fields when I was little. Mama never had much use for men after that. Justified, she was, because of having to raise me all by herself and all. I always hoped for something better. A whole family.”

She didn’t mention Levi’s name, but the hurt of his betrayal was there in the things left unspoken.

“You’re thinking I didn’t do too well choosing a husband and a father for my baby,” she said softly. “And I expect you’re right. Taking a husband is kind of like finding an egg in a nest.”

He cocked his head and looked at her.

“You know it’s a bird in there, you just don’t know what kind it’ll turn out to be.”

“Can usually tell by the shell what kind of bird it is.”

A breeze blew a strand of hair across her face and flattened her skirts to her legs.

“I like April,” she said, undaunted by his pragmatic contradiction. “It’s full of promises. The snow’s nearly all melted and flowers are just beginning to bloom. You know summer’s coming and soon there will be plenty of sunshine. Summer’s not pretty in the city. There’s lots of smoke and dust and it’s mostly hot. I’ll bet it’s nicer here. I read a book once where the boys went fishing in a pond and caught their own fish for supper. Do you catch fish?”

“Sometimes.”

“Where at?”

He pointed. “Lake yonder. Or the river.”

“Would you show me sometime?”

He nodded.

She wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s going to be a good spring and an even better summer.”

“When’s the baby comin’?”

“August I expect. I think that will be a good time. Better than winter. Won’t have to bundle him up or keep him out of drafts and such.” She turned and looked up at his shadowed features. “Noah?”

He jerked at her address. “Yeah.”

“I was wondering…that is, were you hoping I’d say yes and go with Estelle? I mean, it’s a bother having me here, and you don’t even know me. I wouldn’t think poorly of you if you’d just as soon I not be here.”

“You’n the baby are better off here.”

He hadn’t said he wanted her here, however. He felt a responsibility, though, and for now his sense of duty was her salvation. “I’m grateful,” she said softly.

“Go to bed now.”

“All right.” She headed for the house, sensing him behind her. He remained on the back stoop while she entered the kitchen and hung her coat. She dipped a pail of water, gave him a little wave through the screen door and headed up the stairs.

Kate slept amazingly well under Noah’s roof. Though it was a strange place and a completely new environment, she felt safe and comfortable. She woke rested and felt somewhat guilty over the fact when she saw Levi’s mother.

Estelle had dark rings under her eyes and her face seemed puffy. After breakfast, she donned a hat with a black veil that shaded her eyes and gave her a dramatic sorrowful air, which Kate suspected had been her intention.

Kate wore her other good dress. It looked similar to the last, except that it had an inch of lace that showed at the hem and at each sleeve. Estelle had shaken her head upon seeing it, but commented that there was nothing to be done about her costume that day.

Noah wore dark trousers, a jacket with the collar turned up and a shirt and string tie. A black felt hat shaded his eyes.

Newt and a fellow they called Jump came to nail the lid on the coffin, carry out it out and place it on the back of a wagon.

Within the hour, townspeople arrived, along with the preacher. Kate met Marjorie Benson, a tall woman with friendly brown eyes and a big smile. The crowd walked behind the wagon, which Noah guided to a grassy area. Piles of rocks indicated other graves.

“Who else is buried here?” Kate asked Marjorie.

“The senior Mr. Cutter and an old drover that I know of.”

A hole had already been prepared for the casket. The people gathered and four men lowered it into the grave. Kate got a sinking feeling at the permanence of the act. Levi had been her husband for such a brief time. All these folks had known him longer than she. But she carried a part of him inside her. A baby he’d left her before he’d run off and taken up with another man’s wife. How many of these people knew that part? she wondered. Thinking of it, Kate felt used and of little value.

Reverend Davidson read from the Book of Psalms and said a prayer. Estelle sobbed woefully and dabbed her nose with a delicate lace-edged hankie. Two sympathetic women friends braced her on either side.

From under the brim of her bonnet, Kate studied faces. Some were curious, others were filled with empathy. Noah’s was shaded as always. He stood apart, his chin down and his right hand in his pocket as it had been during the entire service.

When the praying came to an end, Noah, having pulled on a pair of gloves, stepped forward, took up a shovel and began to move earth from the mound beside the grave into the hole.

Kate’s eyes filled with smarting tears. She wasn’t sure if she was crying for Levi, for herself or for Noah who determinedly covered the wooden coffin with dirt.

Marjorie gave her a sympathetic hug. “You poor dear, so young—much too young to be a widow. Noah is gruff and seems unreachable, but he’ll do right by you. I trust he will.”

Kate nodded. She believed that, too, or she wouldn’t have been here.

Kate didn’t know how she endured the day. It lasted forever and the house and yard were continually filled with strangers. She was introduced to Eldon and Mildred Sweetwater and learned that Eldon and his son Burdell were the town bankers. Burdell’s wife, Diana, was a lovely woman with two children.

Annie Carpenter was the seamstress Estelle had told Kate about, and she was married to a blue-eyed man named Luke. Estelle made a point of telling Annie that they would be visiting her for a wardrobe soon.

“I have two ladies working for me now,” Annie told them. “So we should be able to handle your clothing needs quickly.”

Kate met the Renlow family, nearby ranchers who were also related to the Sweetwaters. So many curious and assessing gazes were cast her way, she felt like a two-headed calf in a carnival.

At one point Kate looked out over the array of buggies and wagons, the smatterings of folks engaged in conversation beside makeshift tables of food, and imagined herself instead at the lake Noah had told her of. She pictured a smooth, placid body of water, turquoise like the river that flowed down from Indian Peaks, with soft grass along the banks and mounds of clover in which to lie back and gaze at the clouds.

Noah had disappeared once people arrived and swarmed over the Rockin’ C like ants on a cake crumb, and she couldn’t blame him. Wherever he was, she’d bet it was a far cry better than being here.

Kate ventured around the side of the house to escape the press of neighbors. Along the entire north side lay a garden in early spring garb. Rocks had been used as curving borders along the beds. The ground appeared freshly turned around the plants. Kate couldn’t name most of the greenery, but she recognized the rosebushes planted in abundance.

What a lovely sight this must be when the buds came into bloom! The garden lay just below the triple floor-length dining room windows and would be beautiful even from inside. She planned to throw open the windows and smell the roses once they bloomed.

Noah, a gardener. It was difficult to imagine.

At last gathering her resolve, she returned. Eventually the ranchers and townspeople expressed their sympathy for the thousandth time and bid their goodbyes. Estelle accepted a ride from Dr. Martin, wedged her valise in the back of his buggy and rode off with a wave and promises to return and assist her newly found daughter-in-law.

Kate entered the kitchen, where dishes had been washed and stacked and the table was laden with food in various containers and wraps.

She hadn’t been able to eat more than a few bites all day, but she still wasn’t hungry. She was exhausted to the very marrow of her bones, however, so she climbed the stairs, removed her shoes and dress and fell onto the bed in a heap.

It was dusk when a rap at the door woke her.

Kate sat up, disoriented for a moment, and then the room and the day rushed back into her mind. She gathered a folded quilt from the foot of the bed around her and padded to open the door.

Noah stood holding a plate of food and a mason jar filled with milk. “You should eat.”

She stepped back. “I suppose I should. I do feel a little hungry now, thank you.”

He didn’t enter.

“Have you eaten?” she asked.

“Doin’ that now.”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll dress and come down to join you.”

He nodded and turned away. His boots sounded down the hall and then on the stairs.

Kate donned her dress, then took a few minutes to brush out her wildly mussed hair and braid it. She left the braid hanging loose and found him in the dimly lit kitchen.

“There were certainly a lot of folks here today,” she said, taking a seat and picking up the fork he’d placed beside her plate. “That says a lot about the respect for your family.”

“I run a big spread. Spend a lot of money in town.”

She eyed him. “None of them are your friends?”

He shook his head.

“Why not?”

He shrugged and ate.

Kate sampled one of the casseroles on her plate. “Do folks know? I mean, about how exactly that Levi was killed?”

“I didn’t tell ’em. Estelle sure won’t.”

“But gossip will travel, don’t you think?”

“Can’t say.”

She picked at her food again. “Who planted the rosebushes on the side of the house?”

The fork paused on its way to his mouth. He lowered the bite to his plate. “My mother had a rose garden. It was overgrown and full of weeds when I thought to save it a few years back. I sent for more bushes.”

“The garden must be lovely when it’s in bloom. I can’t wait to see it. And the smell—why, it must come right into the house and fill every room.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Too bad they aren’t blooming yet. We could have placed some on the grave today. The preacher did a good job, don’t you think? The prayer was especially touching.”

“Not much for prayin’ and the like.”

“You go to church on Sundays, don’t you?”

“No.”

His reply caught her by surprise. Her mother had always taken her to church and nearly everyone they knew attended. “Are you a heathen, then? You don’t believe in God?”

“I believe in God. He’s not the problem.”

“What is the problem?”

“People.”

“Oh.” She’d heard how Estelle spoke of and to Noah, but surely not everyone shared her low opinion.

“You go,” he said. “Ride with Marjorie and Tipper.”

“Sunday’s still three days away,” she replied. “I have time to think about it. Everyone stares at me….” She shook her head to dismiss the thought.