Heart Of A Husband

“I’ll ask my housekeeper to call you later with your flight information. That is, unless you don’t want to fly,” Jake began and then hesitated, searching Joanna’s face for the truth he expected. “I know that your parents died in a plane crash. If you’d rather not fly, I’ll make other arrangements.”

“No,” Joanna replied. “I don’t mind. I flew several times with my adoptive parents when I was a child.”

“You’re sure?” he asked.

She nodded her head.

“Okay, then, I’ll make the necessary arrangements to move Mae tonight.”

“And you’ll go with her? I mean, be right there, with her? The whole time?”

“Yes. She’ll be comfortable,” Jake explained. “Don’t worry, Jo. I’ll be right beside her bed the entire trip. You’ll see her again soon.”

“You’ll take good care of her?”

“I will,” he promised as they continued walking down the corridor. “Trust me.”

Joanna turned her head to glance into eyes she used to trust. Did she have reason to trust them no longer?

They were nearing Mae’s hospital room when Dr. Eden appeared in the hallway again, needing Dr. Barnes’s opinion on some matter. Something crucial, Joanna thought unkindly, like whether he would be staying to have dinner with her tonight, maybe? If Dr. Eden didn’t want to marry Jake Barnes when she had the opportunity, why was she now so obviously delighted to see him? A change of heart, probably, just as Joanna had always expected. The only surprise was that it had been so long in coming.

Joanna slipped into the silent hospital room to say good-night to her aunt before heading home. There was so much to do in preparation for leaving, she barely knew where to begin. But she had to start somewhere, so upon her arrival at the small house she shared with Mae, Joanna hauled her suitcases out of a bedroom closet. What a place to start, she thought as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

“Lord, what am I doing?” She sat staring at the suitcases Jake had given her when she’d been practically a stranger to him. Was she really going to fill them with clothes and get on that plane? To meet Jake in some strange city in a state she’d never seen? To move into his house? Had she lost all rational thinking?

“Probably,” she whispered. Reason seemed to have disappeared somewhere behind the shadows of her heart.

Chapter Two

“J oanna? Joanna Meccord, is that you?”

Joanna turned from the baggage claim area toward the direction of the voice and found the question coming from a plump, silver-haired lady.

“I’m Joanna Meccord,” she confirmed.

“I thought so. Dr. Barnes gave a very good description.”

Joanna smiled. Jake describing her to someone. Now, there was something she’d have been interested in hearing. “So, you must be Jake’s housekeeper?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m Ina Marsh. Second generation housekeeper as a matter of fact. I worked for Dr. Barnes, Sr., for several years until he passed away. And now I work for Jake. He’d planned to meet you here himself, but an emergency came up at the hospital and he couldn’t get away. So I offered to pick you up,” the woman with the friendly smile and kind hazel eyes explained. She reached to take one of Joanna’s suitcases.

“No, you don’t. I’ll carry these, Ina, you just lead the way out of this airport.”

“Right over there, dear,” Ina said, and they started through the lobby. After a few long minutes, they found their way to a sea of cars in the parking lot. Ina stopped behind a small blue sedan.

“How is Aunt Mae?” Joanna asked. “Is someone with her?”

“Oh, my, yes. Someone is always with her. Dr. Barnes wouldn’t allow it to be any other way. There’s a nurse there right now. Occasionally, it’s just me, but usually there’s an RN or LPN on duty. Didn’t you bring more than this, dear?” Ina asked as Joanna lifted the two suitcases into the trunk.

“No, this is it. Is Aunt Mae feeling any better?”

“Yes, I think she is. She was talking this morning. She said she’s glad to be home. She was born and raised around here, she told me. Looking out her bedroom window and seeing acres of farmland does her good—even though there isn’t any corn growing in late February! ‘The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places….’ That’s a verse she asked me to write down inside the cover of her Bible. I guess rural Indiana must be her idea of ‘pleasant places.’”

Joanna got into the car just as Ina was sliding into the driver’s seat. “I’ve always liked that verse.”

“It seems to be one of her favorites,” Ina commented. “Dr. Barnes told me you’re a religious person, too. I assumed he meant you’re a Christian.”

“Yes,” Joanna answered. “Although some days I don’t feel like much of one. Between Aunt Mae’s illness and everything else I’ve been trying to keep up with, I haven’t been to church regularly in weeks.”

“Well, don’t be too hard on yourself. God understands what you’re going through. And everyone makes mistakes.”

Was that what she was doing now? Making a huge mistake? Joanna’s teeth sank gently into her lower lip. Living with Jake could be the biggest error she’d ever made. Yet, here she was with a conscience that had a guilty edge to it. She knew she wasn’t doing this just for Mae. It was for herself, too. Her feelings for Jake needed to be resolved. Completely. Because, despite her prayers to the contrary, Jake did not seem to be the man the Lord had in mind for her. Now, if she could just convince her heart of that fact.

“I’ve been instructed that our first stop is the nearest shopping mall to buy a winter coat and whatever other clothes you need. Today is an exceptionally mild day for February, but let me warn you—it gets cold around here!” Ina explained.

Joanna knew exactly how much money she had brought with her, and it wasn’t enough to allow for the purchase of any new clothing. “Ina, I don’t think that—”

“Now, listen, Dr. Barnes told me you wouldn’t want to accept this, but my instructions were to talk you into it. So, please make it easy on me, okay, dear? He wants you to buy a coat, hat, boots, whatever else you need. He gave me these credit cards.”

Joanna immediately protested. “Ina, I can’t accept—”

“My job is to give them to you. Now, if you don’t want to keep them, you’ll have to argue with the doctor about that.”

And argue, she knew she would.

They were soon leaving the city behind, traveling down narrow country roads with their necessary purchases completed. Joanna spent the time wondering about things to come. Hopefully, Aunt Mae would recuperate enough to return to South Carolina soon. If not, then what? Joanna liked plans, lists—knowing what came next—and she certainly wasn’t in that position now.

Before long they made one last turn and pulled into the winding, tree-lined driveway in full view of the farmhouse.

The large white house was nestled among several wooded acres of gently rolling farmland. A two-story barn, garage and a couple of other small buildings were set off to the rear and the west side of the home, and a white board fence neatly edged the property line.

“I had no idea it would be so lovely,” Joanna said.

“It is, isn’t it,” Ina replied. She pulled the car up close to the garage, and both of them got out of the vehicle.

Joanna looked toward the woods, now stark and barren from the harshness of winter.

“Just wait until you see it in the summer, Joanna. The trees will be beautiful then.”

“I can almost imagine it,” she said, hugging her new coat to her in the hush of the late-winter afternoon. “But I won’t be here this summer,” she added before pulling her suitcases from the trunk of the car and walking with Ina toward the front porch.

“You never know what the good Lord might have in mind for you, my dear. We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

Joanna was ready to respond that, whatever the Lord had in mind for her, it certainly wouldn’t include a future with a man who loved neither her nor God, when Ina began describing the house.

“Upstairs there are four bedrooms and four bathrooms.”

“Four baths? Are you kidding?”

“Not at all,” Ina assured her. “I heard Jake’s mother entertained a lot years ago. She wanted each bedroom to have a private bath. And, this, as you can see, is the main entrance.” They stepped inside the home. “The living room is to your right.”

They walked into the large room with warm, inviting tones of gold, rust and shades of brown throughout.

Ina continued, “That door to the left at the foot of the staircase is Dr. Barnes’s study. Lately, he’s been spending too many of his evenings in there, if you ask me.”

Joanna smiled. The fact that she hadn’t asked Ina’s opinion obviously didn’t stop the woman from giving it. “Jake probably wants to be alone,” Joanna replied. She wondered if he regretted this mission of mercy he’d set into motion to help Aunt Mae. It was costing him much more than money.

“Well, I’m hoping that your arrival will put an end to his being alone so much. It’s not good for him. I’ve only been staying here for a few days. Until then, he lived in this great big old house all by himself. Can you imagine that?”

Yes, Joanna could imagine that. But she smiled and shook her head. There wasn’t much point in defending Jake. He enjoyed solitude, whether Ina understood that or not. “So, that’s the dining room?”

“Yes,” Ina responded, looking into the adjoining room. But Dr. Barnes prefers to eat in the kitchen usually. Let’s go upstairs so I can show you your room.”

They climbed the staircase together. “That’s yours there to the left,” Ina explained when they reached the top. “Mine is right across the hallway. Aunt Mae is in that room down on the right, and the fourth is a guest room. Dr. Barnes has the master bedroom, which is downstairs next to the study.

“Let me put these suitcases in here, then I’ll go see Aunt Mae.” Joanna stepped inside the door to her room and stopped. Exquisite was the only word that came to mind. She looked from the delicate furniture fashioned from honey-colored oak to the soft, pale colors of the wallpaper with matching curtains and bedspread. Realistic oil paintings of Victorian gardens and English cottages hung over two dressers. In the far corner near a window, there was an overstuffed chair covered in tapestrylike fabric similar to the paintings.

“Well, do you like it?” Ina asked.

“It’s wonderful. Amazing,” Joanna replied, stunned to find such lavish surroundings. Several times during her unsettled childhood, she had walked into a new home, a new bedroom—but nothing as lovely as this had ever awaited her.

“I told Dr. Barnes you would. I helped with the decorating,” Ina answered with a grin. “Now, let’s get you down the hallway to see your aunt.”

And down the hallway they went. Joanna found her aunt awake, with a little more color in her face than the last time she’d seen her and very happy to see her niece again.

It was much later that afternoon before Joanna unpacked her clothes and then eased into the ivory porcelain tub for a bath. She leaned her head back, soaking her hair as she sank into the vanilla-scented bubbles. For the first time in weeks, she didn’t rush through her bath to hurry over to the hospital, to work at the day care, to class…wherever. Instead, she allowed herself to enjoy the fragrant warmth of the water for as long as she wanted—a luxury of time Jake had provided. Her eyes flew open at the thought. Bringing Mae here helped Joanna as much as it helped Mae. Jake had known that. How was she supposed to stop caring about a man like that?

Jake had a briefcase in his hand, and his head was down when he entered the house many hours later. He seemed unaware of Joanna’s presence as she sat silently in the chair in the corner of the darkened living room.

“Hello, Jake,” she said softly, but if he was surprised, he did not show it.

The corners of his mouth lifted in a generous smile as he studied her for a moment before answering. “I didn’t think you’d still be awake. It’s after midnight.” He loosened his necktie before dropping his briefcase and jacket into a nearby chair.

“I wanted to see you before I went to sleep.” Her voice wavered, and she paused for a moment. “I want to thank you.”

He tilted his head in unspoken question as he approached her.

“I mean, for bringing Mae here, for my plane ticket, for hiring Ina to stay here. For all the inconvenience you’re willing to put up with to help Aunt Mae, to help me. I think it’s rather noble of you.”

“Noble?” His laugh was gentle. “I doubt that’s the right word, but thank you for the thought.”

“And the bedroom, it’s beautiful but unnecessary.”

“It needed to be remodeled,” he said. “This seemed liked a good time to take care of it.”

“And the paintings, Jake…they’re lovely.”

He nodded with a hint of satisfaction tugging at one corner of his mouth. “I bought those a long time ago.” They reminded me of you, he almost added, but decided it was better left unsaid. He slid a hand into his pocket and looked down at the carpet for a moment trying to sort out what he was feeling from what he could say. “Ina selected most of the furnishings. I asked her to make your room resemble one you’d find if you could see into a window of one of those English cottages.”

Joanna swallowed at the lump that rose in her throat. “And…it does….” An instant of pain squeezed her heart.

Jake was standing beside her now, and Joanna had to tilt her head back slightly to look up at him. Her heart pounded mercilessly within her. She’d come here to get over this man, she reminded herself. Not to fall hopelessly in love with him.

Jake knew they needed a change of conversation before nostalgia overtook their emotions. “I apologize for not picking you up at the airport this afternoon, Jo. I’d intended to be there.”

“It’s all right. Ina told me you were delayed at the hospital.”

“Yes,” he replied. “You’ll see that the cancellation of personal plans is a frequent and unfortunate consequence of being in the medical profession.” His mouth slanted into a smile that softened the negative quality of his comment.

Joanna smiled back. “I had a chance to get acquainted with Ina. She’s a sweet lady.”

“I knew you’d like her.” Jake placed a hand against the back of the chair as he studied the dark eyes that viewed him—gentle eyes he’d never forget, not even when Joanna was gone.

Joanna shifted nervously in her seat when Jake’s silence prolonged the awkward moment. “I—I’m glad Ina’s here, but I’m sorry that you had to go to the expense of hiring live-in help because of me.”

Jake gave a dismissive shrug. “It’s no problem. Ina already works here on a part-time basis. Turning this into a live-in position temporarily was a simple matter, and I think she likes it.”

“But the costs—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jake told her. “Ina will help you settle in. She attends services at a church just up the road a few miles. I’m sure she’d like it if you went with her while you’re here. She already has plans to involve you in a children’s Sunday school class.”

“She didn’t mention that to me. I’ll have to ask her about it,” Joanna responded as she rose from the living room chair and smoothed the folds from her plum-colored sweater.

“I doubt you’ll need to ask Ina very many questions. You’ll find she volunteers information quite freely,” Jake said, his smile widening.

Joanna gave a soft laugh. “Ina does seem to enjoy talking.”

“Yes, she does,” he agreed. “Did she give you the credit cards?”

“Yes, but I don’t want them, Jake. You’ve paid for my ticket, my coat and boots, and you’re letting me stay here to be with Aunt Mae. I want to be able to pay you back and you’ve done so much already—”

“No arguments, Jo.” He cut off her protest as they walked together toward the staircase. “Buy whatever you need. I trust your judgment.”

“But the car, Jake. Ina gave me the keys to that blue car and told me it’s mine to use while I’m here. I can’t accept that.”

“It’s a rental. When you leave, I’ll send it back. You’ll need transportation while you’re here and, in case you haven’t noticed, there aren’t any bus stops out here in the country.”

“I’m going to find some temporary work while I’m here so I can repay at least part of the money.” Joanna stood at the foot of the stairs, looking up into smoky gray eyes that showed no hint of the answers she was seeking.

“There’s no need. Don’t worry about it,” Jake assured her before an uncomfortable stillness fell between them.

“Aunt Mae seemed to be doing very well today,” Joanna said. “She’s better than she was in the hospital.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “The cardiologist saw her yesterday. He changed her medication. He will come by the house tomorrow to check on her.”

“I think you may have saved her life by bringing her here,” Joanna admitted the thought that had awed her. How much Jake had been willing to give up to help Mae.

“I want her to have the best chance she can.” Jake rubbed a hand against the muscles in the back of his neck. “Did Mae ever tell you how much she loves Indiana farmland?” he asked, with a gentle laugh. “Years ago she told me stories about growing up around here. I think that’s why she liked me so much that first time we met at the clinic. She found out I was from this part of the country, and that was all it took.”

Joanna’s laugh was soft. “No, she’d have loved you even if you were city born and bred. You’re the son she always wanted and never had.”

“Maybe,” Jake replied, “But either way, I’m grateful. She’s a pleasure to know.”

“Yes, she is,” she agreed before another awkward silence had to be chased away. “You have a beautiful home, Jake. Ina showed me around.”

“It was my father’s.” His words were suddenly quiet, solemn. The house had belonged to his mother, too, for a few years. Before she’d walked out on them. But he wouldn’t acknowledge it. Not to Joanna, barely even to himself. He could hardly remember the woman whose absence had left more of an imprint on his life than her brief presence ever did. But that was enough reflection on unpleasant memories for one night. What had they been discussing? The house, he recalled. “This place is pretty much the way my father left it.” Except for Joanna’s room.

“It’s very…picturesque,” she replied, and he looked away from her, down to the dark wood of the banister. She stopped talking, sensing his mood change. Had she managed to say something wrong already? During their first conversation? “I—I appreciate everything you’re doing for Aunt Mae and for me,” she offered in a gentle voice.

Jake met her gaze, his eyes guarded again. Unreadable. “I know,” he replied. “But you’ll need to rely on Ina, not me. I’m not going to be here much.” He’d make sure of it. He’d decided that the moment he’d asked her to come.

Joanna nodded her head. “I’ll sit with Aunt Mae as much as I can so you can cut down on the expense of hired help.”

“That’s not necessary. There’s a steady stream of caretakers in and out of here,” he answered. “Mae just needs you around for moral support, I think. And comfort. I realize you two are very close.”

“She’s been good to me,” Joanna responded, placing her hands on the smooth wood railing. “She accepted me as family from the moment we met. Unconditional love. After my difficult childhood years, I needed that.”

Jake gave a brief nod, not trusting himself to speak. The subject of her troubled past was not a good one to embark on. It brought too many painful emotions to the forefront that he wasn’t capable of dealing with tonight. It would make Joanna sad, and he couldn’t bear to see her sad again. Even if it wasn’t his fault, this time.

“Well…” she began hesitantly, “I guess I’ll say good night.”

“Good night, Jo,” Jake responded as he watched her turn and make her way up the staircase to the second story of this house. His house. In the two years he’d lived here alone, he couldn’t count the times he’d wondered how it would be to have her here, in his home, with him. Now, here she was, against his better judgment. And on this first night, it was proving to be as impossible as he’d suspected it would be. Jake shook his head in a mixture of frustration and sadness. There could be no future for them together; nothing had happened to change that. Now, all he had to do was stop wanting it…wanting her.

Chapter Three

“W e could use you for however many weeks you’re available, Miss Meccord. Could you start tomorrow?” the administrator of Smithfield Children’s Home asked at the end of an extensive interview.

“Yes, definitely,” Joanna replied. “I certainly can.”

“Fine. Come in around four o’clock so you can have dinner with us and meet the children.”

Joanna had the urge to hug the man, but he looked so dignified sitting behind his large oak desk, she decided against it. “Yes, I’ll be here. Thank you, sir.”

“Glad to have you on board.” The gray-haired gentleman stood up, extending a hand to Joanna. “We’ll be expecting you tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” Joanna shook his hand before finding her way to the personnel office where she picked up the necessary forms. Then she headed for her rental car. A part-time temporary job. She couldn’t wait to share the news with Ina, and thank her for her help in getting this position.

Pulling into the driveway, Joanna saw Jake’s silver sports car parked next to the garage. She gathered up the paperwork, slid her purse over her shoulder and hurried through the crisp wintry air toward the house. She pushed open the front door and stepped into a hallway filled with the aroma of a bakery. It smelled wonderful. Like home. Except, not any home Joanna could actually remember.

“Ina?”

“In the kitchen, dear,” Ina called from the far end of the house.

Dropping her car keys into her small handbag, Joanna hung her coat in the closet and headed toward the kitchen. “Hi!”

“Hello,” they greeted her. Jake sat at the table with a half-eaten slice of peach pie in front of him and the morning newspaper in his hands.

“Want a piece of pie?” Ina asked. “Freshly baked.”

“Not right now, but thanks. It looks delicious,” Joanna responded. She glanced toward Jake and was surprised to see him wearing a casual navy shirt and jeans. And glasses. “I’ve never seen you wear glasses,” she commented. She liked the look.

“That’s because we haven’t been around each other much for the past two years,” he replied as he looked up from his paper.

“How did your interview go?” Ina asked, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

“Great!” Joanna exclaimed. “I got the job!”

Ina opened her arms, enveloping Joanna in a big hug. “That’s wonderful, dear. I’m so happy for you!”

“What job?” Jake asked with obvious surprise. “You haven’t been here more than forty-eight hours.”

“I know, but Ina told me about Smithfield Children’s Home. She knows several people who work there, and she made a few calls. They needed some temporary help to work with the children…someone with a social work background. And I got the job! I can’t wait to tell Aunt Mae.”

But the idea didn’t seem to please Jake. “You don’t need a job while you’re here, Joanna. If you need more money—”

“I don’t want to ask for money, Jake. I’d like to be able to even pay you back for some of what you’re doing.”

“It’s not necessary. Don’t feel that you need to do that.”

Joanna smiled and gave an uncertain shrug. “I may not be able to do that even with this job. It doesn’t exactly pay well. Is there any iced tea, Ina?”

“In the refrigerator, dear,” Ina answered.

“Thanks,” Joanna replied and opened the door. Lifting the pitcher from the top shelf, she poured some of the drink into a tall glass. “But it will be wonderful experience for me working with the kids. Do you want some tea?”

“No, thanks,” Jake responded.

“Don’t you want to join us, Ina?” Joanna asked when she noticed Ina had returned to the kitchen sink to finish rinsing some dishes.