A Wife for the Baby Doctor

‘You make it sound as if hospital suppliers are profiteering at the government’s expense—or that those in charge of the hospital’s finances aren’t doing their job properly,’ he commented quietly. ‘Either of those scenarios would be one heck of an accusation.’

‘If I were making an accusation,’ she countered calmly. ‘All I’m saying is that it seems very strange that in the same week that I bought my brand-new top-of-the-line flat-screen computer monitor, the ward I was working on at my last hospital received a similar but several-years-out-of-date model costing three times the price.’

So, his new colleague wasn’t easily flustered, he noted with pleasure, and she still had the keen eye for finances that was the result of the less-than-opulent upbringing that her good-quality clothing would suggest. Interesting.

The sudden intrusion of one of the babies’ monitors drew their attention and he led the way across to one of the unit’s most recent patients.

They were just in time to see the nurse flick the bottom of the baby’s tiny foot, then reach up to reset the monitor.

‘She just needed to be reminded to keep breathing,’ she said with a smile, before her gaze strayed to the woman standing at his side.

‘Nadia, this is Dr Danielle Dixon. She has just joined us this morning.’ He turned towards Dani, careful not to meet those stunning blue eyes. ‘Nadia is one of our most experienced NICU nurses.’

‘Pleased to meet you, Nadia. Call me Dani,’ she said with that smile that came all the way from her heart. For a second her hand came up as if she was going to offer it in a shake, then she shook her head with a self-deprecating laugh. ‘One of these days I’ll remember that people wearing gloves don’t want to contaminate themselves by shaking hands.’

‘Believe me, it won’t take long,’ Nadia promised wryly. ‘That antiseptic-antibiotic gel we have to use on our hands is so vicious that we learn to avoid any unnecessary contact very quickly. Another nurse in the unit had to give up nursing because her hands were permanently raw and bleeding and she just couldn’t stand it any more.’

‘They’re trialling some new products at the moment,’ Josh offered. ‘Apparently, the hospital has received so many complaints that they’ve been forced into it, but they’ve got to make sure that the new products are at least as good at preventing cross-infection as the gel before they can sanction their use.’

‘In the meantime, in the interest of patient safety, the staff has to put up with the status quo, even though the discomfort is more likely to make them want to skip using the stuff causing the problem,’ Nadia pointed out.

‘Well, I hope you’re not implying that any of my staff are getting into slipshod habits,’ Josh demanded grimly. ‘If I thought that these tiny people were being put at risk by—’

‘Not a chance,’ Nadia interrupted with a quick smile. ‘You’ve hand-picked every one of them, so you know they’re not going to let you down.’ She turned her attention to Dani. ‘I hope you realise the impossible standards you’re going to have to achieve to keep up with this man.’

Josh couldn’t miss the gleam in those dark blue eyes as she met his gaze head on.

‘I’ve heard all about Mr Weatherby,’ she said quietly. ‘And even though I might not come up to his exacting expectations yet, it doesn’t mean that I’d ever give up trying.’

There was something in her expression that he couldn’t read and there was definitely something in the determination in her voice that told him she was delivering a personal message, but with Nadia as an onlooker this wasn’t the right time to ask what that message was. The last thing either of them needed was gossip and speculation about the two of them.

She didn’t know what impulse had her sending the message, but even though she was exhausted by a very long first day in her new job, she hadn’t been able to resist when she’d checked her computer for messages and seen that he was logged on.

DaniD: Are you still speaking to me, BB?

Then, of course, she’d had to sit there, almost holding her breath while she waited to see if he would answer.

Had she made a monumental mistake in applying for the post?

It was all she’d ever wanted to do, but after that disastrous episode on her eighteenth birthday…all her own fault, of course…things had never been the same between the two of them since. If she’d made everything worse by—

BB: What’s the matter, DaniD? Have you forgotten that I’m more likely to shout at you than go silent?

She was so relieved that he’d answered that her eyes were actually burning with the threat of tears.

DaniD: Not the strong silent type, then?

BB: Hardly!

She could almost hear his huff of laughter. He’d always been so driven to succeed in whatever he set his heart on that he definitely wasn’t the sort to suffer fools gladly. She could imagine that his reputation as a perfectionist was well earned.

BB: Having second thoughts?

DaniD: About what?

BB: The job.

DaniD: No! None!

Well, that wasn’t quite true.

She certainly didn’t have any regrets about her choice of career. It was early days yet, but so far it looked as if it was going to be everything she’d always imagined it would be.

No, the doubts were of a more personal kind, and something that really couldn’t be shared with the man who’d dubbed himself BB…her big brother…from the moment she’d been born.

Except she hadn’t seen him as a brother at all since long before her eighteenth birthday, while he never saw her as anything other than the little helpless girl he had to look after…even though she was now twenty-seven.

BB: Get some sleep. Tomorrow won’t be any easier.

She growled aloud when she read the message. It could have been sent to an immature teenager needing a prod to send her to bed for the night, and sent her angrily scrolling across for the icon to close the messenger function on the screen. When would he ever admit that she was now an adult and could decide for herself when it was time to go to sleep? She—

Just before she could click the annoying man into oblivion he sent again.

BB: You did well today, Dani, especially getting that IV in first time. See you tomorrow.

She sat back and stared at the final message he’d sent before severing the connection and couldn’t help the satisfied grin that crept over her face.

She’d been proud of herself for getting that right, especially with him hovering over her shoulder. That fragile vein couldn’t have been much thicker than a thread of cotton and she’d been certain that everyone could see that her hands were shaking with nerves, but the needle had gone in as easily as if she’d been doing it for years.

‘So, my first day wasn’t too bad,’ she murmured aloud as warmth spread through her at his praise. ‘Well, that’s stage one of the master plan under way. By the time the next six months are over, I’ll know whether I’m on track towards a paediatric consultancy.’

She pulled a face when a familiar voice in the corner of her mind said, She’s always been determined to follow in her big brother’s footsteps, ever since she learned to walk.

‘Oh, Mum, if only you knew,’ she said on a sigh, smiling when she remembered the last time she’d seen Meredith Kasarian, the only mother she’d ever known.

Josh’s mother had only been persuaded to take early retirement when the consultant who had tried to save Pam Dixon’s life all those years ago had finally convinced her to marry him.

Meredith had always been the sort to put on a cheerful face…but it had been a real eye-opener to see the soft expression in her eyes as she’d gazed at her new husband and to see her blushing like a girl when he’d claimed her with a kiss at the end of the wedding ceremony.

‘That’s what I want, too,’ Dani whispered wistfully, far from certain that she would ever achieve it. After all, there was a huge obstacle in her way by the name of Joshua Weatherby.

She cringed when she remembered her first attempt at telling him about her dream, and mourned the death of the closeness they’d shared for the first eighteen years of her life. From that day on, he had erected an impenetrable barrier between the two of them, preventing her from sharing anything but the most superficial of social conversations.

‘Well, I’ve got six months to change his mind,’ she declared aloud, needing to hear the words bounce back at her from the bland walls of her tiny staff flat to bolster her determination.

Even so, she couldn’t help wondering just how different the last few years would have been if she hadn’t drunk that glass of birthday champagne to bolster her courage before she’d spoken to him.

CHAPTER TWO

‘AND what are you doing in here, young man?’ said a voice over Josh’s shoulder. After an initial start of surprise, he relaxed and smiled, knowing that the apparently gruff words would be accompanied by a twinkle in the consultant’s dark eyes.

‘I’m visiting my sister while I wait for Mum to finish work,’ he explained, then held up his hands. ‘I scrubbed and used the hand gel and haven’t touched anything I shouldn’t.’

‘Good. Good,’ Mr Kasarian said seriously. ‘And how is our patient doing today?’

‘Much better,’ Josh said with a beaming smile. ‘When she was first born I didn’t know if she would stay alive… well, she was just so tiny, like a little bird that fell out of its nest before it grew any feathers.’

The consultant chuckled. ‘That’s exactly what they look like when they’re that small,’ he agreed.

‘And then she kept forgetting to breathe, and Sally showed me how to flick her under her foot to remind her, but she hasn’t needed to be reminded for a whole day… And she’s put on some weight, too!’ Josh couldn’t believe how much better he’d felt when he’d seen that little rise on the weight graph. It was as if that tiny gain had given him permission to believe that they weren’t going to lose Pammy’s baby, too.

‘There’s something else that we’ve noticed,’ Mr Kasarian said, drawing him out of his thoughts. ‘Look up at the monitor screen next time you come to visit your sister and see what happens when you start to talk to her. Sally was watching the other day and saw a change in her pulse and respirations…her breathing.’

‘And that’s a bad thing?’ Josh felt as if he’d been kicked in the stomach. The last thing he wanted was for his visits to make the baby sick. He knew from what his mum told him that the unit was always busy and there was never enough time to spend with her little patients. All he’d wanted to do was let the baby know that he was her big brother and he was there for her, but if coming to see her was causing her harm…

‘Not at all!’ Mr Kasarian exclaimed heartily. ‘It’s good. Very good. It seems as if she already recognises your voice, and her heart and her breathing are stronger when you’re with her.’

It almost felt as if his own heart was swelling in his chest and for a horrible moment he thought he was going to cry.

‘Really?’ he croaked with a mixture of pleasure and disbelief, for once not caring that his voice still sounded like a childish squeak. ‘She knows when I’m here?’

‘Check it for yourself when you come next time,’ Mr Kasarian said with a smile. ‘Watch the readouts on the monitors when you start speaking to her and you’ll see what we mean.’

‘Don’t be afraid to talk to him,’ Dani encouraged the terrified new mother as she hovered at the side of the high-tech isolette.

‘But he’s so small,’ Linda Prentiss whispered as tears welled up in her bloodshot eyes, evidence of the hours of crying she’d done since her tiny son, James, had been born. ‘And he jumps at noises.’

‘Sudden loud noises will do that to them, the same way it does with us. Just keep your voice to a gentle murmur. That way you won’t overload his little system.’

‘Surely it’s too early for him to be able to take anything in,’ she argued softly. ‘I wouldn’t want to do anything that might hurt him.’

‘Actually, it will probably do him a power of good,’ Josh interrupted, although Dani had known he was nearby. Her whole body seemed to be tuned in to his presence whenever he was near. ‘He already knows your voice, from all those months inside you. You’ll be reassuring him that you’re still close by in this big scary world.’

‘How can you possibly know that he recognises my voice?’ she challenged, the expression on her face a confusing mixture of hope and disbelief. ‘My in-laws are saying that he’s already so badly brain damaged that he’ll never be any better than a vegetable.’

‘I don’t believe that for a minute,’ Josh reassured her. ‘Of course, some very early babies do end up with permanent disabilities, especially if they have serious bleeding in their brains. But, so far, your son hasn’t had any problems like that, and we’re going to do our very best to help him to get out of here in the best possible health. Many premature babies go on to lead perfectly normal lives; some even become doctors and come back to take care of other premature babies, isn’t that right, Dr Dixon?’

‘I’ve heard of at least one case where that’s happened,’ Dani agreed, silently cursing him for putting her on the spot. He knew how easily she blushed, and the last thing she wanted was for the whole hospital to know that she’d once been a scrawny little scrap like their tiny patients. She’d far rather that they judged her on her performance as a doctor now.

‘But you really think he recognises my voice?’ Linda was too firmly focused on her son to have taken in any hints of a personal history. ‘How can you tell?’

‘The electronic equipment will tell you,’ he explained, and Dani held her breath as he paused for a moment, wondering if he was going to tell their patient’s mother the tale that she’d heard about all her life.

For the first time since she’d joined his team he actually allowed their eyes to meet and the feeling of connection was like an electric charge through her body.

‘Next time you come into the unit, you can test it,’ he continued with a slightly husky edge to his voice that told Dani he was reliving that long-ago shock of realisation. She’d first heard about it so long ago that it had always been a part of her life. ‘Before you say anything to him, watch the monitors, then see what happens to his breathing and his heart rate when you start talking to him. It might take a couple more days before you can see it clearly, because he’s had a traumatic few hours and needs to catch up with himself, but I shall expect a full report before the end of the week. OK?’

‘OK,’ she whispered, and Dani wasn’t surprised to see that for the first time since her son had arrived on the unit, Linda’s expression held more hope than despair.

‘He’s so nice,’ she whispered to Dani as Josh let himself out of the room. ‘From what you see on the television and in films, I thought consultants were all pompous tyrants, but he sounds as if he really understands what I’m going through; as if he really cares.’

‘He’s special,’ Dani agreed readily, then could have kicked herself when she saw the flash of speculation in the young woman’s eyes. ‘As you said,’ she continued hastily, ‘some consultants are terrible to work with. I haven’t been here long, but so far he’s been fine—a good boss and a good teacher. Now, how about making yourself comfortable in that chair beside the isolette? Do you want a couple of pillows behind your back? You must still be very sore after the delivery, and your midwife will be very cross with me if I don’t look after you properly.’

She hardly saw anything of Josh for the rest of that day, or the next, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t constantly in her thoughts.

All it had taken was the retelling of the story of her infant self reacting to his presence to reawaken her teenage conviction that there had always been a special connection between the two of them.

As a little girl, she’d only known that Josh was the best big brother that any girl could have. He’d been endlessly patient with the way she’d slavishly followed him around, when her friends’ brothers were forever telling their siblings that they were pests. And as for those times when she’d succumbed to a childish illness, because his…their…mother had needed to be at work, it had always been Josh’s gentle ministrations that had soothed her feverish bad temper and distracted her with yet another story.

It had only been when she’d started looking at him with the new awareness of a teenager’s eyes that everything had changed.

At first, she’d been frightened by the way her feelings towards her adored big brother had altered. There had been security in being his little Dani…the name he and his mother had compromised on in memory of the baby brother he’d wanted to call Daniel. The trouble was, each time he’d come home from medical school she’d seen how much he had changed while he’d been away, and even though a part of her had longed for the security of their old relationship, it had been impossible to go back.

It was only after the disaster of her eighteenth birthday that she’d realised that the changes had all been on her side. The look of horror on his face when she’d kissed him had proved that he’d been completely oblivious to the fact that she’d been growing up, that she didn’t see him as just a brother any more, and that expression was something she’d never been able to forget.

So, what on earth was she doing working with the man? Was she completely mad to put herself through six months of…of what?

She forced herself to think about the situation, calmly and rationally.

For a start, there wasn’t a post anywhere in the country where she would get a better grounding in her chosen field than in Josh’s department. In spite of his comparative youth, there were few who could equal his knowledge or his dedication. And if that came with six months of butterflies in her stomach whenever she heard his voice, or fighting down the urge to leap on him every time she saw him and beg him to kiss her senseless? Well, that was a price she was willing to pay.

Anyway, she’d never given up hoping. If she was lucky, her protective big brother might finally come to realise that she wasn’t his baby sister any more but an attractive woman who was as dedicated to her profession as he was.

‘But that won’t happen if I stand around with a besotted expression on my face when there are tests to perform and results to chase up,’ she muttered under her breath, and had to stifle a shriek when she saw the time. She’d come in early that morning to give herself some leeway, but now there was less than an hour left before Josh started the morning’s staff meeting, and the last thing she needed was to arrive late with half of the files incomplete.

Josh bent over the frail little figure in the isolette and had to work hard not to let his thoughts show on his face.

He couldn’t think of anything more that any of them could have done to help this precious little boy in his fight for survival, but with every passing minute it was becoming increasingly obvious that their efforts had been in vain.

Unlike the progress James Prentiss was making, at twenty-three weeks gestation, it had already been unlikely that Max would escape unscathed if he did win the battle. A series of bleeds deep inside his brain had almost guaranteed that he would be severely disabled, but his parents had been so desperate that their last hope of a family should have a chance that he hadn’t been able to shut their hollow-eyed expressions out of his mind long enough to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. He hadn’t even been able to force himself to go home last night and now had the stiff neck that often came as the result of dozing off in a chair.

As if standing beside him and watching as Max fought for every breath would make any difference, he berated himself silently, especially with that deadly infection rampaging through his lungs unchecked by everything they’d thrown at it.

‘Max is going to get better, isn’t he?’ Letty Montgomery pleaded, but it was painfully obvious how hard she was having to work to try to sound optimistic.

‘Is your husband here, Letty?’ he asked, sidestepping her question with one of his own. ‘He usually comes here on his way to work, doesn’t he?’

‘He should be here any minute,’ she confirmed shakily, suddenly looking every one of her thirty-nine years as she collapsed onto the nearby chair as if her legs wouldn’t hold her any more.

Josh knew that, in spite of her hopeful question, he almost didn’t need to spell out the bad news. The look of misery in her eyes was mute evidence that she knew what he wanted to talk about, and that it wasn’t good.

‘When he arrives, would you get Dr Dixon to give me a buzz? I just need to chase up some of Max’s lab results.’ And take a couple of minutes to work out exactly how he was going to break the bad news.

The fact that he worked in an area of medicine where his patients often existed right on the very knife edge of survival meant that a higher proportion of them weren’t going to survive. As a depressing consequence of that, he had to go through this conversation far more often than most, but it didn’t matter how many times he’d had to do it, it never seemed to get any easier. In fact, he’d found out early on in his training that somehow it was always worse when it was a child involved rather than someone who had lived a long and fruitful life.

‘Mr Weatherby, I think Dani went up to the lab to chase up the results,’ Letty volunteered tentatively. ‘She took more tests when she came in this morning.’

‘Good,’ Josh said with a reassuring smile even as he wondered just what time Dani had arrived that morning.

Had she even gone home last night? he pondered when he saw the dark circles under her eyes a few minutes later when she arrived in his room with a small sheaf of paperwork in her hand. It was all very well, wanting to do a good job in a new post, but she wouldn’t succeed if she exhausted herself in the first few days.

‘Well?’ he prompted as he held out his hand for the printout of Max’s results, hoping against hope that the figures would give at least some grounds for hope.

There weren’t any.

‘Damn,’ he muttered when he saw the readings that confirmed the fact that Max’s infections were growing worse instead of better. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. That tiny body just didn’t have any spare resources to battle the invader. It had never been intended to take on such a foe at a time when it should still have been safely inside the shelter of a cosy womb.

‘Josh, you are going to speak to them…to warn them that…?’ He heard her swallow as she allowed the sentence to die away but they both knew how it would have ended. He had to warn the parents that their baby had very little time left. That it could be a matter of hours before the battle was lost.

Before he could speak there was a tentative knock at the door and Letty’s pale face appeared when he called an invitation to enter.

‘James has arrived,’ she said. ‘And Sister told me that Dr Dixon was already in here with you, so…’

‘Come in, please, both of you.’ He gestured towards the group of chairs in front of the window. ‘Would you like a drink? Tea, coffee or…?’

‘N-nothing, thank you,’ Letty stammered, her eyes wide with dread. She was visibly trembling as her husband tried to guide her towards one of the chairs.

Josh couldn’t help but be impressed that, even though she looked as though she would fall over at any moment, she stood her ground and forced herself to stare straight at him.

‘You’re going to tell us that Max is dying, aren’t you?’ she said in accusing tones, the very picture of a lioness defending her cub. ‘You’ve brought us in here to tell us that you’re not going to bother to do anything more to save our little boy…our precious little…’

‘Shh, love. Shh,’ her husband soothed as he wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders and pressed her into the nearest chair. ‘Let the man speak.’