Suspicions: A Twist Of Fate / Tears Of Pride

The room was dark; only the soft glow from the partially opened door mingled with the moon glow to add a shimmering pallor to the night. But Erin could see Kane as clearly as if it were a bright summer day. All of her senses were alive to him. His touch fired her, his scent encouraged her and his salt-sweet taste lingered on her lips and tongue.

His hands traveled to her skirt and panty hose, quickly discarding a portion of the clothing that separated them. He cast off his pants as rapidly, never for a moment leaving Erin alone. Always one part of him was pressed warmly and possessively over her.

Her blood was boiling through her veins, spiraling upward from the deep mercurial well that was vibrating from the essence of her femininity. His lips traveled over her breasts, teasing and tasting each one while his hands slowly and rhythmically rubbed soft patterns against her abdomen, dipping deliciously below the elastic of her panties, and then letting the fabric snap tantalizingly against her skin.

Kane toyed with her last article of clothing until she thought she would go mad with the urgency of her need for him. When the agonizing last flimsy barrier was finally freed from her body, she groaned in pure animal pleasure and desire. He let his lips graze the muscles of her abdomen to circle her navel. His tongue warmed her flesh and she pulled him more closely to her.

All thoughts of anything but the mastery of his lovemaking were torn from her mind, pushed aside as quickly as her clothing. She was conscious of only one thing: the bruising, pulsating desire that dominated her mind and body. Time had ceased. Doubts had fled. All that she cared about was Kane: the skillful play of his fingers on her thighs and buttocks, the searing brand of his kiss over her breasts and abdomen, the enticing lure of his strong body.

She could feel the granitelike touch of his naked leg against hers, the soft hair tickling her cleanly shaven skin. She could also tell that he was holding back his physical needs to give her the utmost pleasure. In the half light of the moon she could see his arousal and feel the warm length of him brushing against her.

Just as she felt that she would surely melt with need of him, he came to her, fusing the fine muscles of his body with hers in a hot, rhythmic blend of passion. She felt him push her over the delicate edge of desire to fulfillment, and in the warm wash of exploded passion, he came with her in a burning torchlike shudder of surrender.

Erin felt a sigh flow from her lips as she held him tightly and securely, holding on to him as if her life depended on him. It had been many, many years since she had made love to a man, and never had she felt the wonder or the magic that Kane had aroused and satisfied in her tonight. Although she felt an incredible bliss, her torn emotions got the better of her, and she began to feel the hot sear of tears burn at the back of her eyes.

Embarrassed at herself, she tried to move away from Kane and blink back the unwanted tears. But as she slid against the satin comforter, his arms locked over her, imprisoning her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he whispered silkily, his voice still holding the satisfaction of afterglow.

Erin’s voice caught in her throat and she couldn’t force herself to answer him.

“Erin?” Kane’s voice was more aware than it had been. “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head negatively, but when she did, she felt his strong fingers reach up and stroke her face. His hands stopped their movement as his fingertips encountered the first tear that had slid unrequested down her cheek. “Oh, no,” he murmured.

“It’s not…what you think,” she managed to sigh.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was uneven in the night.

“No…no…Kane…”

“Then why? I don’t understand.” His words were raw with concern.

“Neither do I,” she admitted as the tears began to flow freely past the web of her lashes and down her cheeks. She shook her head in self-deprecation, letting the ebony curtain of her hair fall loosely around her face. How could she do such a thing to him, she asked herself silently. And how, when she was so deliriously happy, could she feel so confused and torn?

“Erin.” His voice had lowered an octave, and he brushed her hair away from her face so as to kiss the tears from her cheeks. “Is something wrong?” He held her gently to him, letting her skin press tightly to his, while he covered them both with the comforter. In the quiet room, he rocked her in the cradle of his arms.

“No…nothing…nothing’s wrong…” Her voice wavered.

“What is it? You’re not ashamed of making love to me, are you?”

“No…no…never.” She felt his breath feathering the back of her head as he sighed with relief. “It’s nothing I can explain,” she continued. “The last few weeks have been hard….” Could she tell him about the badly needed repairs to the building, the confusion she felt about Mitch or the taxing telephone calls from Lee? “…I guess I’ve been tired.” She wanted to explain how she felt, but there were so many conflicting and unsettling emotions warring within her that she didn’t want to think about them. Not tonight. She just needed to feel the peaceful security of Kane’s arms around her.

Kane clutched her more urgently to him in a protective embrace. He could feel the beating of her heart, a warm pulse fluttering lightly under his fingertips and vibrating against the velvet smoothness of her breasts. He wanted her to speak—to confess. He needed to assure her that he could make everything right. He would find a way to help her out of the mess that Mitchell Cameron had created.

Kane’s voice rumbled against his chest, and she could feel the deep manly tones pulsing against her naked back. “I want you to know that if you do have a problem—any problem whatsoever—you can come to me.” His last words sounded like a confession. “I’m on your side.”

“Oh, Kane,” she breathed, wanting to confide her innermost thoughts and share everything with him, yet unable to bare her soul any more than she already had. “There’s really nothing to tell. I’m…just a little keyed up. That’s all….” She could feel herself smiling at him through her tears.

Outside a cloud crossed the moon, giving a misty aura to the light that passed into the bedroom. She turned to face Kane, and his eyes looked all the more omniscient in the unnatural moon glow.

“I hope you realize that if you ever need a friend, you can count on me,” Kane murmured, before lowering his head to hers and kissing away the final tears that stained her cheeks.

As his lips found hers, she tasted the salt of her own tears, mingled seductively with the uniquely male taste of Kane. She parted her lips, and in a moment the kisses deepened to rekindle the fires of passion that possessed them.

With a gentleness that belied the tension that pushed against him, Kane caressed Erin and together they discovered the secrets of inflamed desire and glorious love. Erin fell dreamlessly to sleep in the warm strength of Kane’s arms. But Kane didn’t sleep. Too many uneasy thoughts about Erin strained against his mind. He looked at her asleep and brushed an unruly wisp of raven hair off the perfect alabaster sheen of her face. Sleeping in the moonlight, she seemed so childlike, innocent and vulnerable.

But his mind continued in its ugly pursuit of the truth. Why had she lied to him? And why did he care so much?

Chapter 6

Erin felt comfortably warm and drowsy as she stretched lengthwise in the bed and tucked the silken comforter more cozily around her neck. She sighed softly to herself in pleasure as she slowly awakened. All the tension that had been gathering in her body over the last six months had somehow ebbed gently away from her. She smiled to herself contentedly before realizing that she felt so dreamily happy because she had made love to Kane Webster—her new boss!

Her dark lashes flew open as the reality of the situation dawned upon her. The bedroom was dark and the bed was empty. Kane must have left her and disappeared into the night as she slept. A feeling akin to desperation cascaded over her, and the bed, once warm and comforting, seemed cruelly cold and empty. She wondered silently to herself how she could have been so foolishly naive to expect him to stay with her. She was achingly aware that she loved him, and although she didn’t want to care for him so deeply, she accepted the naked truth of her love. But she wasn’t so foolish as to expect that he could possibly reciprocate her feelings of the heart.

Erin mentally chided herself for her thoughts of love. For all she knew, Kane might consider her just another easy conquest. The infuriating phrase “one night stand” crept into her mind. For all her bold talk of not mixing business with pleasure, she had invited Kane all too easily into her heart and into her bed.

You’re an idiot, she swore at herself as she decided to get dressed. She reached for her teal blue skirt that was still lying in the discarded heap of wrinkled clothing at the side of the bed. After pulling her panty hose on furiously, she began to step into the skirt.

“Don’t get dressed on my account,” Kane’s voice whispered across the darkness to her. Her disappointed heart leapt at the sound of his voice, and she whirled toward the doorway to find Kane leaning casually against the doorjamb, his gaze wandering recklessly over her body. Involuntarily she crossed her free arm over her breasts, while with the other she tugged vainly at the skirt.

“I…I thought that you’d gone,” Erin murmured, and feeling somewhat embarrassed by her partial nudity, she hastily grabbed the sheet from the bed and pulled it togalike around her body. Kane watched her swathe herself with the white sheet, and in his mind he likened her to a Greek goddess.

“Now, why would I want to leave?” he drawled huskily as his eyes traveled lazily over her one exposed slim leg and up to her eyes. Her fingers tightened around the sheet and yet she felt naked.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, “but when I woke up, you were gone and I didn’t hear any noise. I thought that you must have….” Her words died as she interpreted the expression in his clear gray eyes.

He stood still in the doorway watching her. One well-muscled shoulder rested against the doorjamb. The light from the living room was behind him, and his silhouette in the darkness seemed to intensify the broad strength of his shoulders and the powerful play of muscles on his chest. His shirt was still unbuttoned as if he were just in the process of getting dressed when he heard her awaken. Erin found it hard to concentrate on anything but his tanned skin and the invitation of his open shirt. Unconsciously she gripped the sheet a little more tightly.

“I’m not going to leave you,” he replied seriously, and then wondered at the promise he heard echoing in his words. He could see Erin’s face in the cloud-shadowed moon glow—a delicate, regal oval placed in relief by the tangled mass of black hair that cascaded down to rest against the marble texture of her bare shoulder. The hollow of her throat beckoned him, but he resisted reaching for her. She was beautiful, almost an inspiration, and Kane had difficulty reining in his emotions. Her lilac eyes shimmered in the half light, and Kane was sorely tempted to go back to the bed and crush her passionately against him. How could he ache so much for one woman? he asked himself. And how could any woman who appeared so innocent and vulnerable be mixed up with something as gut-wrenchingly dishonest as embezzling? The onerous thoughts that battled in his mind must have been evident on his face because Erin’s expression changed from innocence to wariness. God, why did he want her so badly?

Kane cleared his throat, and in an attempt to break the heady silence that was entrapping him, tried to lighten the suddenly tense moment. He cocked one black eyebrow in mock suspicion and effectively changed the subject.

“So you thought that I had left you, did you? Wishful thinking on your part, wasn’t it?”

“Wishful thinking? What do you mean?”

“You’ve been trying to weasel out of fixing dinner for me all day, but it won’t work. I’m here and I’m famished!”

“The lasagna! Oh, no! I forgot all about it!” Erin wailed. She started to hike her skirt upward over her hips, while still grasping the sheet.

Kane stood, unmoving and bemused, in the doorway. His silvery eyes never left her body. Erin sucked in a deep breath. Although she was uncomfortable about dressing in front of him, intuitively she knew it would be useless to try and dissuade him from watching her. She gave him an irritated glare that only seemed to amuse him further as she tried to squirm into the tight blue skirt and attempted to keep the sheet positioned modestly. Her efforts were in vain, and a deep chuckle erupted in his throat as he unabashedly studied her dismal efforts at privacy. Finally, when she slipped the skirt up to her waist and tried to tug at the zipper, it got caught in the sheet and Erin gave up. After the passionate intimacy of only an hour before, Erin realized that her modesty must appear slightly neurotic. With a burning flush of scarlet on her cheeks, she untangled the sheet from the zipper and let the sheet fall to the floor.

“Damn!” she swore under her breath when the skirt was in place at last. She raised her deep round eyes to him and met his gaze unwaveringly. Her breasts, two white soft mounds, were unshielded, and she moved slowly as she finished dressing. “You’re not making this easy, you know,” she accused, her eyes never leaving his. He met her challenging gaze with an amused twinkle in his eyes. “The least you could do,” she continued, “is take the dinner out of the oven so it doesn’t burn!”

A condescending smile touched the corners of his lips. “You expect me to help with the cooking?”

“Why not? You obviously intend to help with the eating,” she bantered back at him, and attempted to hurry through the doorway. Just as she tried to pass him, he placed a strong arm across her path. The action effectively barred her passage and barricaded her into the bedroom.

“Not so fast,” he murmured seductively. Erin felt her throat tighten.

“But the meal—the lasagna. It’s probably cremated!”

“It’ll keep,” he breathed, his eyes holding hers. His head dipped downward, and before she could utter any further protest, he kissed her softly. His lips lingered over hers for only an instant before he dropped the imprisoning arm and pulled his head away from hers. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“For what?” she asked breathlessly.

“For just being you.” His words warmed her, and she felt more than a little light-headed and dizzy, but the steady pressure of his warm hand against the small of her back forced her into the living area of the apartment. She couldn’t help but smile as she noticed that he had set the table for two and pulled the slightly overcooked casserole from the oven. Candles graced the intimate table. The wine was poured. The meal was already served.

“You did this?” she asked, surveying the table that he had set with enviable care. “And I slept through it?” Amazement was evident in her voice.

“Surprising, isn’t it?”

“That’s putting it mildly.” She shook her head in concentrated thought. “I’m normally a light sleeper,” she murmured as she walked into the kitchen.

“That’s because you haven’t been keeping the right company.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?” she inquired cautiously as she put the finishing touches on the meal and placed the salad on the table next to the lasagna and warm bread.

“Just that you’d probably sleep more soundly with me.”

Her eyes jumped to his face as she took the chair opposite his at the table. She took a deep breath and decided that it was time to set him straight about her. Perhaps he had gotten the wrong impression and thought that she was somewhat promiscuous.

She began slowly and deliberately. “Kane, I want you to understand something about me,” she requested.

“Such as?”

“Contrary to what you might think…” She struggled with her next words as they caught in her throat. “I don’t normally…I mean…” She shook her dark curls in frustration. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t make a habit of sleeping with a man whom I barely know.” She watched for his reaction.

“Oh?” His voice was interested, and he pushed his plate aside to give her his full attention. She saw no criticism in his misty eyes, only concern.

“I hope that I haven’t given you the wrong impression about me….”

“You mean because you slept with me?”

Two dark scarlet points of color brightened her cheeks, but she bravely continued. “That’s exactly what I mean.” Her words were hushed, and for a moment she was forced to look away from him. When she brought her eyes back to his, she held his gaze steadily and her voice became coolly even. “I don’t really understand why I think that you have to know this, but for the sake of my own somewhat Victorian morals, I want you to realize that I don’t have casual affairs. In fact, other than my ex-husband, there has been no one. Until you.”

“I know that,” he assured her in a voice as grave as the night.

She fingered her wineglass and took a long swallow of the rosé. She studied the pale pink liquid and swirled it in the long-stemmed glass before continuing the conversation. “Then why did you ask me all of those insulting questions about Mitch?”

At the mention of Mitchell Cameron’s name, a scowl darkened Kane’s features. Once again his face was guarded and his eyes became two silver shields. “I didn’t know you then,” was the terse reply.

“And in just three days you know me well enough to evaluate my love life?” she returned, and heard the sarcasm in her voice.

“I probably know a lot more about you than you think.”

Her lilac eyes fastened on his, and a rush of indignation that she couldn’t conceal colored her words. “You haven’t been checking up on me, have you?”

“No more than I have any other employee of the bank.” It was a lie and he knew it, but he couldn’t let her think any differently at this point. He hated himself for the lie, but he was trapped by the web of suspicions that plagued him and by the storm of emotions that captured him every time he looked into her eyes.

“Then why all the insinuations about Mitch? Can’t you believe that a woman can make it on her own without sleeping with the boss?”

He arched an expressive black eyebrow, and she felt immediately contrite. The question that was unspoken hung between them on a charged electric current. Unashamedly Erin answered it. “You know that I didn’t make love to you because of my job.”

“Then tell me, why did you sleep with me?” he coaxed.

“For the same reason that you slept with me,” she responded, lifting her chin proudly. “Because I wanted to.” His tight frown seemed to relax, and he took a sip of his wine as he surveyed her over the rim of the wineglass. His gray eyes concentrated on her. She seemed so honest. It was impossible to think that her beautiful face would lie. Why hadn’t she been truthful about her ex-husband? Erin O’Toole was an enigma, a ravishing, seductive enigma.

Erin struggled with her meal. Why did she feel such an uncontrollable urge to explain everything to Kane? And why did she feel the need for caution? As she put aside her fork, she spread her hands outward on the table, her fingers reaching up in a supplicating gesture. “Mitch was my boss, and he was and is a very dear friend. No matter what he’s done, nothing will change that. But there was never anything more between us than personal friendship and professional respect for each other. Can’t you believe me?”

“Of course I do—now,” Kane replied. “But you can’t blame me for my suspicions. Until I met you in the bank last Saturday, I didn’t know anything about you other than what was in your personnel file. I knew that you had been promoted rapidly—perhaps too quickly—and I wanted to know why. You have to understand that no matter how close you are to Mitch, he is a thief!” Kane’s cold gray eyes grew dark. “It’s my responsibility to the bank, the stockholders, the savings customers, everyone, to know everything I can about each employee. It would be ridiculous to think that I would rely on Mitchell Cameron’s judgment.”

Kane’s words hit Erin like a splash of cold water. She was stunned, and her voice was brittle as she asked the question that was uppermost in her mind. “Are you trying to tell me that you don’t think I’m qualified for my position, that the only reason you could see that I would get the job was because I might have slept with Mitch?” she challenged, stricken at the thought.

His voice was strangely devoid of emotion. “I’m saying that it’s difficult for me to believe that a thirty-two-year-old woman is second in command of the legal department of a major Seattle bank….”

“And if I were a man?” she fired back at him, her eyes deepening to the color of a midnight storm.

“Sex has nothing to do with this!”

“Sex has everything to do with this,” she argued, slapping her palm against the table and rattling the silverware. “You seem to overlook the fact that I spent the last six years of my life in night school, for the most part doing postgraduate work in corporate law! If it weren’t for the fact that you bought First Puget Bank, I would probably be a practicing attorney today!”

It was Kane’s turn to be angry and his words sliced through the air. “I don’t see how I could have possibly hindered your legal career! What does my ownership of the bank have to do with it?”

Erin swallowed with difficulty and licked her arid lips. She tried to think calmly and took a long swallow of wine to quench her parched throat. Getting angry wouldn’t solve anything, she told herself, and giving in to her sometimes volatile temper would only hinder the situation. Carefully she explained her position. “There are several reasons that I haven’t been able to take the bar exam.”

“And somehow they are all my fault,” he surmised.

“I’m not blaming you,” she insisted, and began toying with her napkin. “First Puget was paying my way through school. Any class I took that pertained to my job was paid for by the bank. Other classes I paid for myself. That is—until the bank sale.”

“You mean, until Consolidated Finances bought out First Puget?”

She nodded.

“Lack of money prevented you from taking the exam?” His jawline hardened and a tiny muscle began to work in his jaw as he clenched his teeth together. One more reason Erin needed money, as he saw it. Just how desperate was she?

“Money isn’t the only problem,” she sighed, wishing there were some way to avoid this particular discussion. “You see, in the past six months, there have been several departmental changes…and Mitch wasn’t around a good deal of the time. I had to spend a lot of my free time at the bank, working.”

“And you didn’t have time to study for the examination?” Was there a slight undercurrent of sarcasm to his question?

“It’s not as simple as going out and getting a driver’s license, you know!” she snapped back at him, her strained temper unleashed at last. Viciously she speared a portion of the lasagna and forced the bite into her mouth.

For a few seconds neither she nor Kane spoke, and they finished the remainder of the meal in silent battle. When she hazarded a surreptitious glance in his direction, she felt her anger flow out of her. Perhaps it was the deep concentration of his knit brows, or the play of light on his gold-streaked chestnut hair. Or maybe it was the seductive way his mouth curved, or his bronzed chest as it peeked out from beneath his shirt. Whatever the reason, she felt her temper cool as she watched him. Her heart was torn and she ached to understand the man whom she loved so urgently.

Why, she wondered, did she feel that he was holding something back from her? Why did there always seem to be a dark, unasked question in his eyes? Was he like she was, insecure about a commitment to a fellow employee? Was it possible that he had a girlfriend, or perhaps a fiancée, waiting for him in California? Or was it a brooding concern for his daughter that made him seem so remote at times? How could she love a man so desperately and still feel that he wasn’t being completely honest with her?