Suspicions: A Twist Of Fate / Tears Of Pride

“You don’t understand,” she accused with a vehemence that interested Kane. “Gossip…it can be vicious—ugly! It can ruin your life!”

“Only if you let it—the same as anything else. Now, why don’t you be honest with me—no, make that honest with yourself—and tell me what’s really bothering you. I can’t believe that a little innocent speculation about what you do after-hours is all that traumatic. For God’s sake, Erin, you’re a thirty-year-old divorcée, not a whimpering virgin! What kind of lily-white reputation are you trying to create?”

Her eyes narrowed and she planted her hands firmly against her hips. “The point is that I like to keep my personal life just that—private! And even though you and I won’t go around telling anyone that we’re seeing each other, believe me, the word will get out.”

“And everyone will just naturally assume that because we’re dating we’re sleeping together, right?” he surmised, elaborating on her logic. He threw the neatly stacked reports down into an unruly pile on his desk and covered the floor space that separated them in long, swift strides. He didn’t touch her, but he was close enough that she could feel the delicious warmth of his breath as it fanned against her hair. She stood her ground, not moving an inch, but every nerve ending of her body was rigidly aware of him and his nearness. “And even if some of the people around here think that we sleep together”—his fingers touched the silken skin of her cheek softly—”what’s so bad about that? What do you care what other people think?”

Erin’s lips thinned into a white line. She tried to control her temper and ignore the warm feelings that Kane was commanding from her. She pushed herself away from him in order to think clearly and avoid the compelling magnetism that seemed to surround him. “I’ve worked very hard to get where I am with this bank, and I don’t need the frustration of knowing that coworkers think that I sleep with the boss to promote my career.”

“Would you mind it if they thought you slept with the boss because you wanted to and not for career reasons?”

“You can’t possibly understand!” she whispered, and turned on her heel to leave.

As she pushed open the door to make her exit, she heard Kane’s parting words. “You, Miss O’Toole, are paranoid! And I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty!”

Kane’s voice boomed through the open door. Several of the secretaries looked up from their typewriters to stare openly at Erin. She tried to ignore their curiosity and continued toward her office. She could feel their speculative glances boring holes into her back, but she managed to return to the security of her office with a modicum of poise.

Outwardly she controlled her ragged Irish temper, but once in the sanctity of her own office, she could feel the fumes of anger rising steadily within her. No doubt half of the legal department had already sized up her situation with the new boss, and it wasn’t even ten o’clock yet! She tried to concentrate on her work, and she told herself not to be childish, but she couldn’t help but feel that Kane had betrayed her trust by announcing that he planned to see her after work. To make matters worse, he had brushed off the subject of Mitch’s dismissal with an arrogant wave of his hand and very little explanation.

During the remainder of the day Erin saw little of Kane. All of his contact with her came via his secretary in the form of interdepartmental memorandums. They had no personal contact. She had seen him only in passing, and he had smiled at her with the same polite but less than enthusiastic smile that he rained upon all of his employees. He showed her no special attention, which was exactly what she had wanted. And yet, a small and very feminine part of her yearned for the vaguest sign of emotion from him. Affection, endearment, friendship—anything that demonstrated that he cared for her in a more intimate way.

For most of the afternoon she attempted to bury herself in her work to avoid any further confrontations with Kane. It also helped her ignore the whispers about Mitch and the speculations about the embezzlement.

It was long after five o’clock when she rose and tucked away the paperwork that was still spread unfinished on her desk. Although she had worked diligently, she had accomplished very little because of her preoccupation with Kane. He had asked her out early that morning, and she had refused, but her mind had wandered relentlessly back to the invitation. What would it hurt? her persuasive mind taunted.

But what good would it do, her more rational nature inquired. Yes, Kane was an interesting man, and yes, she would like to spend some time alone with him, and perhaps she would, if circumstances were different. But as things stood, she couldn’t reconcile herself to live a double life of daytime employee and nighttime lover. No matter how she would try to convince herself otherwise, she was attracted to Kane as she never had been to any other man. Given an alternative set of circumstances, she knew that she could fall deeply in love with him. But, as fate would have it, she couldn’t allow herself the pleasure of falling in love with a man for whom she worked.

It had taken her all day to come to the decision that she would have to explain her position to Kane once and for all. She threw her coat over her arm and clicked off the lights to her office. Most of the staff had left the building, but she knew that Kane was still working. She could hear his voice through the door. Rather than disturb him, she continued past his office toward the elevator.

Before the elevator doors parted, the door to Kane’s office opened. Erin quickly resolved to herself that this would be as good a time as any to have it out with him. She turned to face him and discovered that he wasn’t alone. Olivia Parsons was with him, looking as if she was hanging on his every word. Rather than intrude, Erin whirled and faced the elevator. Just as the doors were opening, Erin heard Kane call out to her.

“Erin, wait!” Kane hurried to Erin’s side. “I’m glad I caught up with you. Do you need a ride home?”

“I’ve got my car,” Erin replied, a little tartly. Why did Olivia always seem to be a part of the conversation? She looked cautiously at Olivia, but the calm expression on the brunette’s face didn’t appear to hold the slightest hint of interest.

“Then I’ll see you at seven-thirty,” Kane rejoined.

Erin looked from Kane to Olivia and back to Kane. “I…don’t think so…not tonight.” Olivia’s eyebrows raised just a fraction of an inch. The gesture was almost unnoticeable, but Erin caught the movement and the silent gleam of fascination in Olivia’s perfect green eyes.

“Going out?” Olivia asked casually. “I don’t blame you. Who wants to cook after a full day at the office?”

Erin couldn’t resist the temptation of disagreeing with Olivia. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve always enjoyed cooking.”

Olivia’s face registered disbelief, but it was Kane who answered. “Good!” he interjected. “I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in ages. We’ll eat at your place.”

Erin was about to reject Kane’s suggestion, but Olivia stilled Erin’s tongue. “That’s terrible!” she sang out sweetly to Kane. “I tell you what. Why don’t you come over to my house for a special dinner? We’ll have fresh seafood from Puget Sound…”

“Thanks, Olivia. I appreciate the hospitality.” Kane seemed to agree, and Erin could feel her heart beginning to shred. Kane shot Erin a questioning look and continued, “But I’ve got other plans.” His response was gentle but firm.

“Some other time…” Olivia persisted, only slightly dejected.

“Some other time,” Kane agreed evasively.

There was a slight pause in the conversation, and finally Olivia broke the silence. “I guess I’d better be running along. I’ll see you in the morning.” Although the farewell was meant for both Erin and Kane, Olivia’s warm green eyes looked directly into the cool gray depths of Kane’s gaze. Erin could almost see the invitation in those emerald pools.

Olivia slipped into the elevator, and it started its descent before Erin began. “Look, Kane. I’ve made a decision. You can’t come over tonight…and I can’t go out with you. It’s as simple as that!”

She pressed the elevator call button and waited for Kane’s reaction. She expected that he would be violent, but when he spoke it was with quiet deliberation.

“You…would deny me a home-cooked meal?” he asked, and there was a mischievous smile in his eyes.

“Of course not, but you’ve got to understand…”

“It’s settled then. I’ll bring the wine.” He slipped his hand beneath her elbow and guided her into the elevator. As the doors shut he wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her feverishly on the lips. All of the warmth and intimacy that had been denied during the day was surfacing again in his passionate embrace.

Before Erin could respond, the elevator stopped on the fifth floor, and Kane released her to smile at two of his new employees. Erin was sure that even in the slightly dimmed elevator light, the two young women could see her swollen lips and the trace of passion still lingering in Kane’s eyes. When she stepped out of the building she hurried to her car, and Kane didn’t follow. How was she going to deal with him and the web of emotions that was entangling her more tightly each day?

It was crazy and she knew it, but she felt that she was beginning to fall in love with Kane Webster. The thought made her shudder as she reached for the headlights and the windshield wipers. You’re a damn fool, Erin O’Toole, she chided herself. She couldn’t be, wouldn’t be, in love with her boss. It was an impossible and ridiculous situation, but nonetheless, it existed.

She was still arguing with herself as she stopped the car in her familiar spot in front of the apartment house. She bent her head against the wind and slight drizzle of the evening. A welcome light came from Mrs. Cavenaugh’s window and Erin stopped at the doorway to the little old lady’s apartment. She waited several minutes before Mrs. Cavenaugh’s voice called through the door.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s me, Mrs. Cavenaugh…Erin,” she responded, and immediately heard the click of locks as Mrs. Cavenaugh opened the door. The old woman peeked timidly through the crack in the door before removing the final chain and opening the door widely.

“Come in…come in,” Mrs. Cavenaugh welcomed her.

“I can’t…I’m having company tonight.”

“Oh?” Mrs. Cavenaugh didn’t even have the decency to hide her interest. “Mr. Webster?”

Erin eyed the half-bent old woman with loving suspicion. “How did you know?” she asked.

“Lucky guess,” the old woman murmured, her blue eyes dancing with pleasure. “Don’t you have just a minute to tell me all about it?”

“No, I’m sorry, truly I am.” Erin’s face was earnest, and Mrs. Cavenaugh didn’t doubt her sincerity. “I just dropped by to tell you that I got hold of someone to install the insulation. They’ll be here by the end of the week.”

“Good!”

“Look, I’ve really got to run.”

“I understand,” was the kindly reply. “Oh, by the way, Erin, did you know that Mr. Jefferies is planning to move out by the end of the month?”

“Oh, no,” Erin sighed, and then quickly hid her disappointment. “I knew that he had been thinking of moving in with his daughter and her husband, but I didn’t think that he had made up his mind.”

“Seems they made it up for him,” Mrs. Cavenaugh asserted. “I’m sure he left his notice in your mailbox.”

“Oh, thanks for reminding me.” Erin crossed the hallway and opened her mailbox. Among the various bills was Mr. Jefferies’s notice of vacancy. The last thing she needed right now was one more empty apartment. She needed the rental income just to keep up the mortgage, let alone the repairs and upkeep. But she couldn’t show her worries to Mrs. Cavenaugh. She called out to the friendly elderly woman as she mounted the stairs, “I’ll let you know exactly when the repairmen will be here.”

“Thanks, honey,” Mrs. Cavenaugh responded before closing the door to her apartment. Erin raced up the remaining stairs, anxious to get into the familiar and secure surroundings of her own apartment.

* * *

Kane pulled the small black sports car to the curb and snapped off the motor. He sat in the darkness for a minute, staring at the apartment house that Erin called home. He was angry and he was tense, but he tried to control his emotions so that Erin wouldn’t become suspicious.

Erin was already home. The lights in her apartment glowed in the night, and the Volkswagen Rabbit was sitting where she had parked it in front of the house. Kane’s eyes moved from the car back to the building. Even in the unearthly glow of the streetlamp he could see the signs of age and disrepair in the large old home. Was this apartment house the cause of Erin’s financial woes? Could she possibly be moving funds out of the bank for the upkeep on the costly old house?

He had thought he would feel a deep satisfaction in catching Cameron’s accomplice in crime, but as he came closer to the truth, the satisfaction had soured in his stomach to a feeling of sickening disgust. He knew now that Erin was lying to him, and somehow he had to find a way to prove his theories about her, as much as he despised the idea.

He took in a long breath as he thought about Lee Sinclair. Erin’s ex-husband was supposedly in Spokane, but with a little checking, Kane had discovered that Lee had moved back to Seattle over six weeks ago—about the same time that Erin had applied for her employee loan. Could she still be involved with him, and was he the drain on her money? Perhaps he was the catalyst in the partnership with Cameron.

Kane’s hands tightened on the steering wheel until his knuckles whitened. He could only hope that he was wrong and that someone else was the embezzler. God, how he hoped so. There were still a few more possibilities, but unfortunately, right now the evidence was stacking up very heavily against Erin O’Toole.

Angrily Kane pushed his disturbing thoughts aside and got out of the car. He was furious at himself, at Erin and particularly at Lee Sinclair, whoever the hell he was.

* * *

Erin had just placed the pan of lasagna in the oven when the doorbell rang. Before she could cross the room, the door swung open and thudded against the wall. Kane strode into the room and closed the door just as angrily as he had opened it. Erin had begun to smile, but when her eyes met his, her face froze. His gray eyes were guarded, a stormy fog clouding their depths. His casual clothes, the same ones he had been wearing earlier, were disheveled and his tie was loosened rather haphazardly. “Don’t you ever lock your door?” he muttered.

“Of course I do…but I was in a hurry…”

“That’s no excuse!” he rifled back at her.

Erin was confused by his only slightly suppressed anger, and she felt her temper rise to meet his. “Look, Kane, thanks for your concern, but it’s really not your problem.”

“It is my problem, when it concerns your safety.”

“I’m all right. I just forgot to latch the door. That’s not such a crime.”

A more contrite look softened his features. “I suppose you’re right,” he sighed, raking strong fingers through his coarse brown hair. “I didn’t mean to jump down your throat.” He walked over to her and brushed a light kiss across her forehead. “But I do wish that you would be more careful.”

“I’ll try,” she agreed in order to ease the tension that was building between them. She could see that he was beginning to relax, but the lines near the edges of his eyes looked deeper than they had this morning. She tried to tell herself that it was probably just the first day at the bank that had taken its toll on him, or possibly that he was concerned about Krista. But she couldn’t help feeling that there was a larger problem storming through his mind—a problem that concerned her.

“Would you like a drink?” Erin suggested.

“Oh.” He slapped a palm against his forehead. “I forgot the wine—something came up at the bank. Forgive me?”

He was teasing, Erin knew, but she could sense an inner turbulence below his light attempt at humor. “Consider yourself forgiven,” she agreed, “but my liquor cabinet isn’t all that great.”

Kane walked over to the cupboard that she indicated and searched through the bottles. “Saying that is being kind. It’s downright pathetic.”

“I don’t see that you have much room to complain, since you were the one who forgot the wine in the first place,” she reminded him, trying to suppress a smile.

“Touché, Miss O’Toole. Now let’s see what we have in here.” His voice was muffled as he pushed aside partially filled bottles of liquor and finally pulled out an unopened bottle of brandy. With a triumphant flourish, he held out the bottle for Erin’s inspection. “Look at this. Maybe the evening won’t be a total loss after all!”

“A loss? You practically insisted on inviting yourself over to a home-cooked dinner, and already you’re insinuating that the evening will be wasted?” She could feel him looking at her, but she didn’t turn around and started slicing the greens for a salad. She was only kidding, of course, but he deserved a shot after barging in that way.

In a moment his arms were encircling her waist and his breath moved her hair as he whispered in her ear. His voice was low and full of promise as he spoke. “I don’t think that any time would ever be wasted if I could share it with you.”

She let the knife slip to the counter. His touch was warming her abdomen, and the feel of his hot breath against her neck made her heart race. She tried to keep her head and recapture the light mood of the minute before. “That sounds like a line if I ever heard one.”

“A line? Oh, Erin, don’t you think I’m a little too old for lines? Don’t you know what you mean to me?” There was a torture in his words as if he was admitting something that he himself didn’t want to hear.

His hands persuaded her body to rotate and face him, and when her eyes found his, she saw that his gaze had darkened with a smoky passion. Smoldering embers lit his eyes as he bent his head slowly downward to capture her trembling lips with his. The warm, seductive pressure of his mouth roving passionately over hers made her dizzy. She tried to blink and restore some sanity to her emotions, but she couldn’t. It was as if her entire body began and ended where her lips met his. Her knees began to give way and melt beneath her. And as he tasted her, an aching need began to consume her.

Her response was complete. Her blood warmed in a swirling moist heat. She began to return his kiss, hesitantly at first. But as he kindled the fires of desire within her body, she responded in kind. Her kisses became anxious pleas for a more intense lovemaking. Boldly her fingers crept up his chest until her arms encircled his neck. She felt the thick muscular cords near his spine and unconsciously began to massage away the tension that seemed to devour him tonight.

Kane groaned with pleasure, his voice an echo of hers as she gasped for air. His tongue met hers and danced hungrily in a torrid fever, first flicking light touches to hers and finally molding it with a moist and fevered need. “Erin,” he breathed, letting her name whisper against her. “I need you…tonight.”

Erin’s mind continued to remind her that she should stop him now, while she still had the chance, but she found herself resisting common sense and embracing temptation. Never had she felt so ignited, so completely female.

His lips scorched a trail of featherlight kisses from her eyes to her throat and on to her tender ear. His delicious breath tingled her inner ear, sending shock waves of passion resounding through her mind. She let her head fall away from him, hoping to somehow make her neck and earlobe more available to him. His thumb traced the hollow of her throat, gently at first, but with increased pressure in tight little circles…around and around, until she thought that she wouldn’t be able to breathe.

Erin sighed briefly and resigned herself to the fact that her mind wanted him as much as her body did. “Oh, Kane,” she murmured, “I need you too.” She succumbed body and soul to her desires and arched her hips against his. His breath ruffled her hair and he smiled down at her before lifting her off her feet and carrying her into the bedroom.

“I know that you need me, Erin. I thought that you would never realize that we were meant to be together.”

“Together?” she breathed.

“As man and woman. I knew it from the first time I saw you, sitting amid that ridiculous pile of books in your office.”

Together as man and woman, she thought, but for how long? For an hour, a day, a week? Her mind raced forward, but her body wouldn’t let go, not tonight. She felt him pressed hotly against her, smelled his warm clean scent and saw a stormy passion in his face that she had to capture. She needed him every bit as much as he needed her, and perhaps much, much more.

Erin let herself follow the path of her emotions. The magic of his kiss had aroused her to the point of no return, and she was heedless of anything save his sensitive touch. She couldn’t deny herself any of the pleasures that he could spark in her. Since that first moment in her dimly lit office, she, too, had been aware of him first and foremost as a man. His sensuality couldn’t be ignored, not for a second. His dark eyes, well-muscled body and virile self-assurance had enticed and beckoned to the center of her femininity, and she was tempted beyond reason to respond.

Erin’s body seemed to warm from the inside out, melting in fevered washes of heat and desire. Any reservations that might still have lingered in her mind were slowly and unconsciously stripped away from her as he rained liquid kisses over her skin.

The bedroom was bathed in moonlight. Kane laid Erin on the bed, and she felt the cool satin of the comforter through the sheer silk of her blouse. She was still dressed, although as he stood over her, she felt naked. Naked to the pain of needing him. Naked in the knowledge that she loved him. And naked in the recognition that her love was unreturned. His heavy-lidded eyes were unreadable, but Erin was very certain that although there was a smoke of passion in his gaze there was no flame of love.

Regardless of that fact, she couldn’t and wouldn’t deny the urges of her body. She loved him, despite his lack of love for her. The bed sagged beneath Kane’s weight, and Erin felt herself tremble. His finger traced the length of her arm, but his eyes never left hers. He was watching her, almost studying her, seeming content to let his gaze caress her.

“Tell me no if you want me to stop,” he commanded in a hoarse voice. His lips brushed tentatively over hers.

Her response was a grateful moan. Their lips met in a hot embrace, and she let her arms wind around his neck in a display of total abandon. She wanted all of him with a burning need that she had never before felt.

He let his hands stroke her face and throat in moth-soft caresses, until at last they reached her collar and finally the buttons of her blouse. He opened the blouse slowly, letting the fine silky fabric part of its own accord. And then gently he raised her shoulders to let the blouse slip to the floor. His eyes watched her torso as her breasts rose and fell with each of her gasping breaths.

“Erin…God, but you’re beautiful,” he sighed, fingering the lacy bra that was still a seductive barrier between his flesh and hers. His fingers teased and finally unclasped the skimpy piece of lingerie, until at last her aching breasts were unrestrained.

A groan escaped from his lips as he slowly massaged each dark-nippled breast to arousal. When he could feel the hardness of her breasts, he cuddled them softly and buried his head between the two feminine peaks. Erin arched against him, unable to control the hot urges that were firing her. She reached for his shirt, and as quickly as possible, removed it from his body, until her anxious fingers found the thick soft mat of fur that covered his chest and the male nipples beneath it.

As he enticed her, so did she him. She let her fingers touch and caress the firm muscles that flared rigidly over his body. Her hands traveled up his spine, vertebra by vertebra, feeling the hardness of his back through the moisture of his sweat.