Love Comes Home and A Sheltering Love: Love Comes Home / A Sheltering Love

Thankfully Rachel had been able to say goodbye, too. He scanned the crowd. He’d seen her earlier talking with Mr. and Mrs. Poe, then he’d lost sight of her.

She was putting on a good show of strength. Though her complexion was ghostly pale and her eyes were a little glazed, she’d smiled and moved gracefully through the funeral service and the reception.

She looked very mature and womanly in her black tailored suit with her hair pulled up into a fancy twist. When they’d talked briefly at the cemetery, she’d been distant and polite, but he could see by the tiny lines bracketing her mouth and the way she had to blink constantly to fight tears, that she was struggling to keep her composure.

Where was she? He frowned. She shouldn’t have to deal with her grief alone. He started to usher his son toward the door in search of Rachel when he saw her sitting by the window. She looked composed and serene, but he knew inside she had to be crumbling. He steered Griff toward the window.

As they approached, she turned and he saw a flicker of an emotion he couldn’t identify in her eyes. But then it was gone and she smiled with distant, polite interest.

“Rachel, I’d like you to meet my son, Griff. Griff, this is Rachel Maguire.”

Rachel held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Griff.”

Griff took her hand. “You’re in the picture with my dad at Mrs. G.’s house.”

Her eyes widened with surprise. “Yes, I am. How did you know?”

“Mrs. G. takes care of me when Dad and Grandpa work.”

Rachel fought the burning behind her eyes at the boy’s use of the present tense. She could only imagine the grief the child would suffer when he realized that Mom G. wasn’t coming back.

Josh cleared his throat. She saw the same concern in his eyes.

“When you’re ready to leave, let me know and we’ll give you a ride to your hotel,” he said.

“That won’t be necessary.” She didn’t want to rely on anyone, especially Josh, for anything.

He gave her a pointed look. “Yes, it is.”

Annoyance arced though her. Their promise to Mom G. didn’t include his services as chauffeur.

He set his jaw and grated out a warning, “Rachel.”

From across the room, Rod called out Josh’s name.

Rachel turned her attention to Griff. “So who’s your favorite baseball team?”

“The Mariners.”

“Seattle fan, huh?” She nodded sagely. “I’m a Cubs fan myself.”

“They’re in Chicago.”

Rachel laughed softly. “That’s right, they are.”

Josh placed a hand on Griff’s shoulder. “Come on, Griff. Let’s give Rachel some space. Let’s go find Grandpa.”

Griff gestured with his thumb. “He’s over there.”

“I know he’s over there, son. I need you to come with me. We’ll come back and take Rachel home when she’s ready.”

Rachel ground her teeth, but didn’t say anything. She wouldn’t argue with Josh in front of his son.

“Aw, Dad. I wanna stay here and talk to her.”

“He can hang with me.” Rachel blinked up at Josh, half expecting him to say no way.

“Okay. Then we’ll take you home,” he said firmly.

Their promise didn’t give him a license to try to control her, but she didn’t have the energy to point that out to him. “Fine.”

Josh nodded and moved away, sapping the air of its heat and leaving her chilled.

“I have a baseball card collection.”

Rachel turned her attention back to Griff. “You do?” An unfamiliar yearning crowded her senses. She supposed she was drawn to him because this boy was so like his father.

“It used to be Dad’s, but he gave it to me. Now I collect them.”

“How old are you, Griff?”

“I’m eight.”

Rachel absorbed that information with a bit of shock. Josh and Andrea had waited before having a child. She’d expected them to start a family right away because that was what he’d wanted. “You look like your dad.”

Griff grinned. “Everybody says that.”

“I see your mother in you, too.” His hair was more the color of Andrea’s and the shape of his nose favored her, as well.

“You knew my mom?”

Rachel smiled compassionately. “We all went to high school together.”

“What was she like?”

She blinked. “Don’t you remember her?”

He shook his head. “She died in a car accident when I was a baby.”

This news carried the weight of a punch to the solar plexus. Andrea had died nearly eight years ago. Rachel had assumed because Josh was still grieving that she’d died fairly recently.

Griff had grown up without a mother. Josh had raised his son from infancy all by himself. She had no doubts that Rod helped, but that Josh took on the responsibility made her admire him in a way she hadn’t before. And made her ache for both Josh and his son. Ached for what they’d lost.

“Why are you crying?”

Rachel wiped at the tear coursing down her cheek and gave a shaky laugh. “I…don’t know.”

“Are you sad because Mrs. G. died?”

She nodded, surprised and relieved he understood that Mom G. was gone. She’d underestimated the child.

“She’s in a better place now, where there’s no pain.”

“Did your daddy tell you that?”

“Yes. Mrs. G.’s in heaven with my mom.”

Rachel hurt for this little boy, for what he’d miss. She hurt for herself, for the hole Mom G. left in her life. She hurt for Josh.

In an unfamiliar moment of need, Rachel hugged the boy. He smelled clean, like sunshine and fresh air. And when his little arms wrapped around her neck, she couldn’t stop the sob that broke free.

“Shh, its okay,” Griff said, his voice so grown up, so like Josh’s.

Rachel forced herself to let go. “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate.”

Griff cocked his head to one side. “Why?”

“You don’t know me.”

“Sure I do. You’re Mrs. G.’s daughter. She talked about you all the time.”

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Did she?”

“Yep. Hey, will you come to church tomorrow?”

That the next day would be Sunday hit her like a blast of cold air. Her normally ordered and scheduled life was in disarray. With all the emotional stress of the past few days, she’d lost track of time. Attending a church service would be soothing. Josh would be there, but she could handle that. “Yes, I will.”

“Will you sit with us?”

Taken aback by the invitation, she struggled for an answer. “I don’t know. We’ll see.”

“Aw, that usually means no. Please? You can sit next to me.”

“Well…” She bit her lip. She didn’t want to disappoint Griff, but…

“Griff, don’t badger her.” Josh’s voice interrupted her thoughts and warmed her senses.

“He’s not badgering me,” she said.

“But he will until you say yes,” he countered with an amused twinkle in his eyes.

“Aw, Dad.”

Josh raised a brow and Griff rolled his eyes. Rachel smiled at the father-son exchange. Josh was a good father. His love for his son was evident in the way he looked at the boy, the way he displayed affection to Griff so freely. She’d always known Josh would be a good dad.

She sighed, feeling suddenly more alone and lonely than she’d felt in years. Josh had his son; she had no one. But she’d made her choice. A family wasn’t part of her world, couldn’t be a part of her world. Her job came first, would always come first. She doubted any man would accept that.

“You look tired,” Josh said abruptly. “We should take you to the hotel.”

Rachel stood. “You really don’t have to do that. I’m sure Mr. Finley can take me there.” She glanced around for the balding lawyer.

“No, we will,” he stated. “Mr. Finley can stop by later after you’ve had a chance to rest.”

She didn’t like being told how she felt. “I’m not tired.”

His expression became speculative and his tone softened. “Humor me, okay? Let us take you.”

Griff slipped his hand into hers. “You can sit with me.”

“Now how can you refuse an offer like that?” Josh asked.

She was sunk. How could she refuse Griff anything?

But Josh was another story. She couldn’t decipher what she felt for him. The confusion left her wary and upset.

She wanted to go back to Chicago, far away from Josh and the jumbled mess of emotions he so easily stirred.

“Fine,” she relented, only to have her nerves strung taut by the pleased look on Josh’s face. Pleasing him shouldn’t feel so good.

The tall, white-tipped, pointed steeple of the historic Red Church, its red paint gleaming in bright contrast to the clear blue sky, rose high above the maple and oak trees in the parklike setting of the church grounds. White-painted woodwork outlined beautifully etched stained-glass windows. The melodic strain of the church organ drifted out with the people as they exited through the open, wide double doors.

Rachel made her way toward the street, intent on walking back to her hotel without being waylaid by Josh.

The sound of pounding feet behind her drew her attention. She turned to see Griff skid to a halt before grabbing her hand. “Will you go get ice cream with us?”

Rachel laughed. “Don’t you mean lunch?”

Griff shook his head. “Nope, ice cream.”

His little face beamed and she felt tightness in her chest she’d never experienced before. He looked so adorable in his navy slacks with a checkered button-down shirt coming untucked at the waist.

She glanced up as Josh approached. His tawny hair was combed back and the green stripe in his tie brought out the green in his eyes. A warm flush flowed over her skin. “Ice cream after church?” she asked.

He shrugged sheepishly. “It’s tradition.”

“Will you come? Will you, huh?” Griff tugged on her hand.

“I don’t think so.” The numbness she’d allowed to seep into her soul after Mom G.’s passing seemed to retreat every time this child was present, only to be replaced with a tender yearning.

The new feeling worried her; confusion was not something she allowed herself. She always knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. Except when it came to Josh and now his son. She didn’t like the out-of-her-control feelings spinning around her heart and mind.

“Please,” he wheedled. “You can get any flavor you want. Right, Dad?”

“Sure she can.” She heard the challenge in his tone.

Rachel tried to discern what was going on inside Josh’s head. His expression gave nothing away. He looked decidedly…neutral, but his voice told her otherwise.

“I have things to do….” She stopped as Josh cocked one brow and Griff tightened his grip on her hand.

“You have all day to do stuff,” Griff complained. “Please, please? I really want you to come with us.”

Her mouth twisted in a half smile. She understood now what Josh had meant about being badgered. Ice cream did sound good, if only because it was a decadence she rarely indulged in. “Well…”

Griff pounced on her momentary indecision. “Yay!”

To Josh’s amused expression, she said, “What? I like ice cream. Besides, he can be convincing.”

“There’s no doubt about that.” Josh’s mouth quirked up at the corners. His gaze narrowed slightly. “I went to the hotel this morning to pick you up.”

“I told you not to,” she countered.

He smiled with wry humor. “I went anyway.”

She’d hoped he wouldn’t. She didn’t want him to think she’d deliberately stood him up. “I came early to spend a few moments of quiet before the service.”

He nodded, but she could tell he wasn’t truly convinced.

“Rachel?” a female voice called.

She turned to a see Jennifer Martin hurrying toward her. They’d been best friends in high school. Very different, not only in looks—Jennifer, blond and olive-skinned contrasted to Rachel’s own dark hair and fair skin—but also in temperament. Jennifer was outgoing and confident. Rachel had envied that about her friend.

They’d spoken briefly at the funeral, but Rachel hadn’t been in the mood to play catch-up on the locals. Jennifer had understood.

“Hi, Jennifer.”

To Rachel’s surprise, Jennifer hugged her again, as she had the day before at the graveside. Rachel wasn’t accustomed to displays of affection from anyone other than Mom G. And Josh. Though she couldn’t say that he’d held her at the hospital with any amount of affection, more like obligation. She stiffly hugged Jennifer back.

“We’re going to get ice cream,” Griff piped up.

Jennifer’s speculative gaze traveled from Griff, to Josh and then settled on Rachel. “That’s wonderful.”

Rachel smiled tightly.

“I’m so glad to see you here,” Jennifer said with a bright smile. “You’ll have to come for dinner and spend time with my family. I can’t wait for you to meet Paul and the kids.”

“That would be nice,” Rachel replied politely, feeling a pang of guilt. She wouldn’t be in town long enough to make it to her friend’s house, but now was not the time to say so.

“Good. Tonight then.”

Before Rachel could protest, Jennifer turned to Josh. “You two come along.”

“Sure, we’d love to,” Josh replied.

“Great. It’s settled then.” Jennifer beamed. “Why don’t you pick up Rachel and you can all come together?”

“We can do that.”

“Hey, wait,” Rachel interjected, hating the maddening way they were arranging her life. “I have things to do. I’ve got to organize Mom G.’s house, pack things up. I don’t have time for dinner. I…” Her protest faded as disappointment clouded Jennifer’s eyes.

Josh nudged her with his elbow and the look he gave her was a clear signal that she was blowing it and about to hurt Jennifer’s feelings. “I suppose I can take care of everything tomorrow. Dinner would be great. Thank you.”

The sparkle returned to Jennifer’s eyes. “I’ll see you all about five.”

“Can we go now?” Griff asked, and gave Rachel’s hand another tug.

Swallowing back the trepidation that she was getting in too deep, Rachel nodded and allowed Griff to pull her along.

The local ice-cream parlor was packed. The old-fashioned decor with its mahogany tables and soda fountain counter always gave Josh the impression of stepping back in time. He waved at several people and endured the assessing glances as he herded Griff and Rachel toward the back where he spotted a table being vacated by two teens. His gaze strayed over Rachel’s long floral skirt, appreciating the curves and the way the hem flirted with her trim ankles.

“I want strawberry with caramel sauce on a waffle cone,” Griff said as soon as his bottom hit the chair.

Josh raised a brow, not sure overloading his son on sugar was such a good idea.

“Awww.” A fleeting expression of disappointment crossed Griff’s face. “Okay, no sauce.”

“What? No sauce? Outrageous.” Rachel’s light laughter captured Josh’s gaze. She blinked up at him, her blue eyes full of merriment. “We gotta have caramel sauce on strawberry waffle cones.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Griff chimed in eagerly.

She raised her dark winged brows, daring Josh to say no. He didn’t want to spoil the air of fun surrounding them. “All right, caramel sauce it is.” So much for any semblance of nutrition.

Griff’s exuberance exploded in a loud “Yeah!”

Rachel’s pleased smile sent ripples of pleasure down Josh’s spine. Right now there wasn’t anything remotely cold in her gaze. Her eyes were alive and warm, drawing him in, making him wish for the impossible, wish for a way to be enough for this woman. And wish the three of them could be a family. His stomach dropped. Abruptly he stood and headed to the counter. What was he doing having Rachel join them as if they were a family?

She’s a friend, Josh admonished himself. Friends could have ice cream together. Friends could sit and have a decent conversation without their emotions being strung out to dry. Friends could laugh and enjoy each other’s company without risking heartbreak.

His mouth twisted wryly. He was going to have to find a different category in which to place Rachel, because “friend” wasn’t the correct one.

He paid and walked back to the table with three cones in hand.

At Rachel’s appraising look he muttered, “It sounded good.”

She laughed again. Josh liked her laugh. He’d forgotten how lyrical the sound could be, how her laugh wrapped around his senses. When they were in high school, Rachel’s laugh was what had gained his attention.

As they ate their cones, Josh saw a side of Rachel he’d thought long gone. Here was the girl he’d been so crazy about in high school but there was so much more to her now. She’d seen things, experienced things that had changed her, given her depths that hadn’t been there before.

Yet she was capable of an easy wit and gentle nature that made the time fly by. And Griff hung on every story coming from her lovely lips. How could his son help but fall for Rachel who at turns made Josh crazy with frustration and longing?

“Wow.” Rachel sighed. “That was delicious. I haven’t had ice cream in ages.”

“Why not?” asked Griff.

“You know, I don’t know.”

She looked genuinely puzzled. Like the thought of enjoying something as simple as ice cream was foreign to her. What was her life like in the big city of Chicago? Did she have many friends? What did she do for fun? Was there a man in her life?

That last thought stopped him cold. He had no business even caring, let alone being tempted to ask if she had someone waiting for her return. Even so, curiosity about every facet of Rachel’s life hounded him, made him want to know why the woman she’d become drew him to her despite his resistance.

They left the parlor and stepped into the sunshine. The parking lot hummed with the rumble of cars on the highway as well as the many entering and leaving the parking lot. The newly developed strip mall with the drugstore, bookstore, several specialty stores and two restaurants buzzed with activity as people meandered about, busy shopping and such on Sunday afternoon.

At the curb, Rachel touched his arm. “Thank you. I really enjoyed this morning.”

He stared into those crystal-blue eyes and found he couldn’t speak. The softness he saw spoke of caring and affection.

Her touch remained icy hot on his arm. An innocent touch that shouldn’t cause such a riot inside.

He shouldn’t let this get too personal, let the easy companionship of the morning cloud reality with wanting more from her. Yet he couldn’t stop himself from covering her hand with his.

He told himself she needed comfort whether she wanted to admit to the need or not. She’d lost Mrs. G. The least he could do was offer some solace. Her eyes widened, and he was gratified to see a bit of the same chaos he felt reflected in her gaze.

She slipped her hand away. He wasn’t surprised.

“We’ll take you back to the hotel.”

She drew herself up. The composed politeness he was beginning to detest settled over her lovely face and her petite form stiffened. Gone was the congenial woman of moments before. Now he was faced with the Rachel she’d become, the one he didn’t understand or know how to deal with.

“That would be fine. I have things that need to be taken care of before we go to Jennifer’s,” she said stiffly.

And he would be there to help her take care of things, because of his promise, not because he wanted to. At least that’s what he tried to convince himself of as he headed them out of the parking lot and drove them to the hotel.

When they arrived at the gray motel lodge consisting of ten single units, Rachel slid from the truck.

“Can I stay with you?” asked Griff, his little face full of eager anticipation.

Josh swallowed past the lump in his throat. His son’s eagerness to be with Rachel was touching.

Rachel smiled, her blue eyes twinkling. “You’re going to get sick of me if we spend too much time together.”

“Naw, couldn’t happen,” Griff scoffed.

Josh ruffled Griff’s hair. “We’ll be seeing Rachel tonight, buddy.” He turned his attention to her. “I’ll be back in a while to help you with things.”

Her brows drew together. “You don’t need to.”

“But I will,” he insisted.

“Josh, I’m going to rest for a while. Please don’t come back until it’s time to leave for Jennifer’s.”

The edge to her tone conveyed the subtle message: You’re not wanted. Well, too bad. She was stuck with him for the duration of her stay because that’s what Mrs. G. wanted.

And he always honored his promises.

He chose to ignore the little voice in his head that wondered why it seemed like so much more. He didn’t want more. Rachel would be leaving soon and he’d be safe to remember that spending time with her was for now only. There could never be a forever for them.

Chapter Six

Rachel was ready and fresh from a nap when the boys arrived to pick her up. She was thankful Josh had honored her wishes and not returned earlier. She’d needed the time to get herself refocused on her mission: See to Mom G.’s affairs and then head back to Chicago. She’d made an appointment with Mr. Finley to go over the terms of the will and sign the necessary papers.

The drive to Jennifer’s went smoothly with Griff chattering away about an upcoming Boy Scout trip. The only trouble she had was keeping her pulse from racing every time she met Josh’s gaze. He’d grown more handsome since morning. He wore dark denim jeans, a light blue chambray shirt with a white T-shirt peeking out at the V where the first three buttons were undone.

She forced herself to look straight ahead at the scenery going by as he drove, in an effort to keep herself from overheating. They turned onto a gravel driveway where Josh pulled the truck to a stop beside a white minivan.

The large, yellow with white trim A-frame stood on the top of a rise on the north side of the county. The wraparound porch cluttered with a smattering of toys added charm to the house. The laughter of children reached her ears and she couldn’t tell if the sound came from inside the house or from the back where she’d glimpsed a lawn with a wooden swing set. On the evening breeze the scent of barbecue drifted past.

Griff bounded up the porch stairs while she and Josh followed at a more sedate pace.

“This is lovely,” Rachel commented as they stopped in front of the large oak door. Sandwiched between Josh, his muscular body pressing into her as he reached to press the doorbell, and Griff, his small hand tucked tightly within her grip, she felt oddly out of place, yet not. It was a very strange feeling.

Heavy footfalls approached the door and it opened to reveal a man, average in height, with dark, short hair and a clean-shaven face. She kept her surprise in check. This man with his pressed khakis and white button-down shirt didn’t match the type she’d always pictured with Jennifer. She’d figured Jennifer for the bohemian type of man willing to ramble around the world with his photojournalist wife.

The man smiled, his warm brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “Welcome. Hey, we’re still on for bowling next Saturday?”

Josh flexed his fingers. “You bet. We’ll whip up on Larry and Stan like last time.”

“That we will.” Paul ruffled Griff’s hair. “Griff, the kids are around somewhere. Why don’t you go find them?”

Griff didn’t needed to be asked twice. He disappeared from sight without a backward glance.

The man turned his attention to her. “You must be Rachel.”

“Yes. And you must be Paul.”

“I am indeed. Please, come in.”

He stepped aside, allowing Josh and Rachel to enter. The comfortable coziness of the house surrounded her with peace. Even the clutter of toys couldn’t diminish the rustic beauty of Jennifer’s home.

The dining area directly across from the entryway held a large oval table set for dinner, surrounded by high-backed chairs and a high chair. In the living room to her right, Rachel noted the furniture was an eclectic mix of old and new. A huge stone fireplace dominated one wall.

“Jen’s changing the baby. She’ll be out in a sec.”