The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-being

Margie came to class with a deep sense of grief that she had been carrying around for over ten years, ever since she had felt betrayed by the staff of another self-help organization. Without getting involved in the elements of her story, we mutually decided that diving in to the grief would be the best way for her to let go of it. I asked her the questions from above, and at first her grief intensified. As she began to cry, I simply encouraged her to go even deeper than the sensations and the story, and we kept going. To Margie’s surprise, in just a few minutes, she entered a state of profound peace. She said afterwards that she’d avoided the grief because she felt like she was drowning in an ocean of it. After she released, she realized that the grief was always just on the surface. What she’d actually been avoiding inside, without knowing it, was an ocean of love.

As most people work with this way of letting go, they find that it gets easier and easier to drop into the core of any emotion and allow it to dissolve. They notice that every feeling, no matter how traumatic, has little substance and is much ado about nothing.

Feelings Only Lie

When you catch yourself rationalizing a specific emotion, telling yourself what a useful function it serves and justifying why you’re absolutely right to hold on to it, it is a signal that you’re being handed a pack of lies. As you move further into the exploration of letting go, one of the things that you’ll notice is that the feelings you’re releasing tend to argue for their own preservation. Feelings lie and make empty promises, such as: “Fear keeps you safe,” “If I feel guilty, I won’t do it again,” “If I hold on to my anger, I’m getting back at another person (rather than only hurting myself).” All that’s happening is that a particular feeling is perpetuating the problem it appears to be preventing. It’s a lie.

Two simple sentences that I use in my classes sum this up. You may find them a little like a Zen Buddhist koan that cannot be understood unless you just let go. So, here we go: “Feelings only lie. They tell us we are going to get from letting go of them what we already have from holding on to them.”

The Mind Is Like a Computer

To put the Sedona Method in perspective, let’s take a look at the many ways in which the human mind functions similarly to a computer. Computer functioning, of course, is partly based on the model of the human mind, so this shouldn’t seem like too much of a stretch. You are probably aware that a computer needs both hardware and software to operate. For the sake of this analogy, consider the hardware the equivalent to the brain and nervous system, and consider the software the equivalent of our thoughts, feelings, memories, and beliefs, as well as our basic, inborn intelligence.

What does the human operating system consist of? Software programs that run the body and the mind are the underlying intelligence that allows the system to function and accumulate knowledge. Almost everything we need in order to function well in life is innate. The only exceptions are the specific skills we acquire, which can vary widely. These range from playing a musical instrument to performing brain surgery.

In the same way that a computer functions faster and more efficiently the more memory, or space, it has available, so do we. As we go through life, we have experiences and accumulate data until our resident memory fills up and our processing capabilities become burdened and slow down. In computers, you can free up space by deleting or compressing files. Likewise, experiences that have a neutral emotional content and feel complete are highly compressed. Conversely, emotionally charged or incomplete experiences are like programs and files that have been left open and are running in the background of our lives. They use too much of our available memory and processing capability.

“My gains include freedom from disabling sensations of anxiety at my job, increased success and enjoyment in my work, and much less fear of the future.”

—Bonnie Jones, Olympia, WA

Open programs are not a big problem for most of us when we are younger, but as we age, there is less memory available even for bodily functions like respiration and digestion. As a result, the entire system gets overloaded and starts to break down. Then open programs and files take a toll on our basic ability to function effectively in life and to learn new, useful skills. They create mental confusion and conflict, because they’re often sending us messages that contradict and interfere with each other and with our conscious intentions.

As we apply the Sedona Method, we let go of the emotional charges that are keeping old programs and files running in the background of our lives. We therefore increase our available memory and speed up our processing capability. Releasing enables us to retain the wisdom gained from experience without having our energy and memory drained by an emotional sense of incompletion. In other words, the more we use the Method, the better the human system functions.

Written Releasing: What Do You Want in Your Life?

Upon occasion, throughout The Sedona Method you’ll be invited to explore your feelings on paper in self-created worksheets. At Sedona Training Associates, we call this type of process “written releasing.” I recommend that you purchase a spiral-bound notebook or a simple journal to devote to this purpose for the duration of your reading. Once you’ve finished the book, for privacy, shred the parts you used for written releasing. There is no reason to save your releasing notes.

So, before you read on, please get out your new releasing journal, and make a list of anything and everything you would like to change or improve in your life. This list will serve as a declaration of your intentions for this self-study course on the Sedona Method. We will refer back to it as we move through the process together, so take as much time as you need and be as complete as possible.

As you write down your intentions, remember not to limit yourself to what you think is “possible” to achieve from reading a book. You are learning a tool that will be with you for the rest of your life. Have fun. This book is designed to help you begin a process that can lead to you having, being, and doing it all. The process is so powerful, in fact, and works at such a basic level, that many of the intentions on your list will come to fruition even without you working on them directly.

Write Down Your Gains

As you let go, I highly recommend that you write down your gains, as they occur, to spur you on to even greater self-discovery. Keep track of these positive outcomes in your releasing journal, or purchase a second notebook small enough to carry around in your breast pocket or handbag in which to jot down your thoughts.

The following is a short list of the type of gains you can expect as you work with the material in this book.

• Positive changes in behavior and/or attitude

• Greater ease, effectiveness, and joy in daily activities

• More open and effective communications

• Increased problem-solving ability

• Greater flexibility

• Being more relaxed and confident in action

• Accomplishments

• Completions

• New beginnings

• To acquire new abilities or skills

• An increase in positive feelings

• A decrease in negative feelings

• More love towards others

In addition to gains, as you explore the material in this book, you’ll discover your patterns of limitation and the specific ways that you could change your life for the better. I highly recommend that you write these realizations down whenever they occur.

Coming Back to Life

In these pages, it’s my goal to help you learn everything you need in order to have, be, and do whatever you will or desire. I promise that if you work faithfully with the Sedona Method, it will transform every part of your life for the better. You will feel as though you are coming back to life. You’ll catch yourself with a smile on your face and laughing out loud as your inner stress and tension easily melt away.

Between now and when you read the next chapter, play around a little bit with what we just did together and see what you can discover for yourself. Practice releasing throughout the day and also notice ways you already release on your own. The more you focus on this way of dealing with your emotions, the more the benefits and ease of letting go will grow on you. Be persistent. The more you explore letting go, the more natural it will become as an alternative to suppression and expression—and it will set you free.

The Basic Releasing Questions from this Chapter

What is your NOW feeling?

Could you welcome/allow it?

Could you let it go?

Would you let it go?

When?

Chapter 2 Your Formula for Success

Throughout this book, my purpose is to guide you, in an experiential way, in learning how to let go of the reactions or feelings that are holding you back from performing at your best, achieving your full potential, and living a life filled with happiness, joy, and well-being. Since you’ve now had the opportunity to explore the releasing questions at least a little bit, this chapter will provide you with some more detailed guidelines for using the Sedona Method effectively. These suggestions are based on over a quarter of a century’s experience in facilitating seminars and retreats about the Method, as well as training other Sedona Method instructors and exploring the most supportive ways to gain the maximum value from releasing.

As you move forward, please be aware that the releasing process is completely internal. That is, it has nothing to do with anything or anyone else except you yourself. It only pertains to your internal reactions or feelings toward the people and circumstances in your life. When you let go of these, the process is so simple and so enjoyable that it may even make you laugh. People do tend to laugh a lot in my workshops. Because the releasing process works on a very basic, internal level, even when you practice the Method with a partner—as you’ll learn how to do presently—you’ll find that you never need to share details of a personal nature in order to get the maximum results from this work. You can release with a partner and still maintain your privacy.

While participating in the explorations within this book, simply allow yourself to let go of your feelings as best you can. “As best you can” means “to the extent of your ability at that exact moment.” You never have to push for a feeling or a release that isn’t honestly there. You are also letting go only of what you are feeling in this moment. If you are working on anger, for instance, the releasing questions are not referring to all anger for all time. They are merely an invitation to let go of the anger you are feeling NOW. Please note that because of the relaxing nature of this process, as well as human nature in general, you may not always experience your feelings strongly. This doesn’t mean that you are not doing great work. In general, letting go is just as effective for light or strong feelings. In fact, if you make it a habit to let go as you go about your daily life—even of the “small stuff”—eventually everything will feel like small stuff. As you begin to let go of your internal tension and other stressful feelings, you’ll notice that you experience a sense of relief and heightened alertness. This is only one of the many benefits you can achieve through the Sedona Method.

I guarantee that you’ll make tremendous—and rapid—progress and experience many powerful, positive effects from releasing when you apply what you’ve learned. As we have already mentioned, at Sedona Training Associates we call these changes “gains.” Be aware, however, that there are sometimes surprises. These are pleasant ones, to be sure, but nonetheless unexpected outcomes. For instance, the specific

“As a Toastmaster, I had succeeded in giving prepared speeches but was never good at speaking impromptu. I felt tense and nervous whenever I was called up to speak without preparation. Since I started using the Sedona techniques, I’ve become much more relaxed and at ease when I speak impromptu. As a result, I’ve become a much more effective speaker. I have managed to let go of my stage fright.”

—Charles Stark, New York, NY

area of your life that you would like to change by applying the Sedona Method may not transform as quickly as you would like, while another area begins to shift right away. Your target area may actually be one of the last areas of your life to turn around. But it is more likely that changes will happen much faster than you’d ever have dreamed possible.

To explain another way, let’s imagine that a particular individual turns to the Sedona Method specifically to open herself to greater financial success. She reads the book attentively, dutifully works with the material it contains, and yet finds no immediate financial gain. Instead, she may initially find herself gaining superior health, and then perhaps discover improvements in her personal relationships. After that, she might develop heightened abilities in the workplace. And only then she may finally allow herself to achieve the financial success that she was originally seeking.

Please don’t misunderstand me. The Sedona Method will definitely bring about important changes in your life. It is only that on occasion those changes may not arrive in exactly the order you hoped for, or predicted. Change may also be gradual. Your friends, co-workers, and employees might notice the changes in you before you do.

“I’m able to have a good night’s sleep after many years of having difficulty sleeping all night. It feels great.”

—Rosella Schroeder

As you incorporate releasing into your life on a regular basis, you’ll soon notice that you are becoming more sensitized to your feelings. This is a sign of progress. It means that you are ready to become aware of, and let go of, many of the emotions that you have either been suppressing or avoiding. In my experience, people usually don’t experience feelings they’re not ready to face—although I’ve had a few students who experienced a restless night or two of sleep as their resistance to certain feelings began to dissipate. But they kept releasing and quickly let go of everything that was troubling them. Most people absolutely do not have their sleep affected, except in a positive way. The good news is that the more you use the releasing process, the easier you’ll find it to let go. And this is what creates the safety for you to experience all your feelings—both the painful and pleasurable ones—more deeply. By feeling all your feelings more fully, you’ll gain even more enjoyment and aliveness out of everything you do.

The following analogy is a little like using the Sedona Method. Have you ever eaten from a salad bar or at a cafeteria where they had plate or tray dispensers? If so, you probably noticed that after you took your plate or tray out of the dispenser another one popped up to take its place. The same is true of our emotions as we let them go. If there are more feelings related to a topic than the ones we began releasing, more will keep coming up until they are all gone about that particular topic, until the “dispenser” is empty. Unlike a plate dispenser, however, every feeling that you take out and release is gone for good. When exploring the processes in this book, most likely you will start by letting go of one feeling at a time, then groups of feelings, until you become so good at releasing that you are ultimately working at the deepest levels—on whole “stacks” of feelings at the same time about any given issue.

Often, it is when we are not looking for, or trying to accomplish, anything that the mind relaxes enough to allow for releases and realizations. While you’ll definitely experience releases, realizations, and gains as you consciously work with the Method, you may find that they come when you least expect them. So make room throughout your day for the possibility of gains, and stay open to the unexpected. As best you can, relax and accept that the timing of your greatest breakthroughs and realizations, including the ultimate realization of your true nature, may be totally out of your control.

Frequently Asked Questions

When people attend Sedona Method courses, they often ask the following questions. Review the answers as often as you need to as you work with the releasing process.

• How often should I release? Releasing is one good thing you can’t overdo. The more often you apply the Method throughout your day, the more benefits you’ll receive from it. Releasing can be done anywhere and at any time to immediately feel better, clearer, more confident, and alive. Simply allow yourself to remain open inside, while your feelings come up and move through you. Look at each upset in your life as an opportunity for greater freedom. Also remember to have fun. Avoid turning releasing into another “should.” As you get into the habit of letting go in the moment as feelings arise, you’ll develop a wonderful momentum that will support you when deeper feelings surface. You will find it easier to let them go as well.

• How long does it take to learn how to let go? That’s up to you. In Chapter 1, you learned some of the basics of the releasing technique. How quickly you’ll see results you can measure depends on how much you apply what you learned in your everyday life. Letting go gets easier to do the more you do it. Also, you may or may not feel big shifts right away. The results may start out subtly, or they may be extremely profound.

• How could something so simple be so powerful? The most powerful and useable tools in life are often the simplest. When processes are allowed to remain simple, they are easy to remember and duplicate. No one has to convince you how critical breathing is, for instance. Still, if I wanted to give you instructions about the procedure to follow for breathing, it would be: “Breathe in, breathe out … and repeat as needed.” What could be simpler? Yet there is little of more central importance to your life.

As you use the Method over time, you’ll discover that it is easy and can become second nature, requiring as little thought from you as the act of breathing does now. Do you recall how suppressed feelings were likened in Chapter 1 to an emotional pressure cooker? When you release often, you’ll also discover that keeping the lid off your feelings and allowing them to release is more natural than trying to keep them crammed inside.

• What does it feel like to let go? The experience of letting go is highly individual. Most people feel an immediate sense of lightness or relaxation as they use the process. Others feel energy moving through their bodies as though they are coming back to life. Changes can become more pronounced over time. In addition to physical sensations, you’ll notice that your mind is getting progressively quieter and your remaining thoughts are clearer. You will start to perceive more solutions rather than problems. Over time, your experience of releasing may even feel positively blissful.

• How do I know that I’m doing it right? If you notice any positive shifts in feeling, attitude, or behavior when you’re releasing, then you are doing it right. However, each issue that you work on could require different amounts of letting go. If at first it doesn’t shift completely, let go and then let go again. Continue releasing until you have achieved your desired result.

• What should I do if I find myself getting caught up again in old patterns of behavior, or if I just plain forget to release? First, it’s important to understand that this is to be expected—and it’s okay. Your ability to release spontaneously and in the moment that it’s necessary will increase over time. Soon, you’ll be able to release in “real time.” Meanwhile, you can always release once you do recognize that there has been a problem. Soon, when you catch yourself in the middle of an old behavior pattern, you’ll be able to release as the pattern is happening and interrupt it. By doing so, you’ll find that you’re able to change the pattern. After a while, you’ll learn to catch yourself before you get caught up in the old pattern, and then you’ll release and not do it. Ultimately, you won’t need to release about that particular tendency anymore, because you’ll have let it go entirely. If you allow yourself to be persistent, your attitude and effectiveness will eventually change for the better, even with longstanding problems. You may even get to the point where the only time you’ll remember that you even had a particular problem is when someone else reminds you of it.

It can also be helpful to schedule short releasing breaks throughout the day to remind yourself to release.

• Do I have to change my beliefs or believe something new to do the Sedona Method? Absolutely not. As I mentioned in the Introduction, please don’t believe anything in this book unless you can prove it for yourself. Just because something is said in writing does not make it so. Knowledge is not useful unless or until you can verify it for yourself experientially. Simply be as available as you can to what is being communicated in this book and look at it as an opportunity to change your consciousness and your life. Remain open to discovery and prove or disprove it for yourself. Whatever your religious beliefs or affiliations, they will only be supported by the process of letting go. People who have used the Sedona Method report that it helps them to be more in tune with and open to uncovering their true spiritual experience and conviction.

• What should I do if I am already involved in therapy or some other system for personal growth? Since letting go is the essence of any good therapy and every effective tool for personal growth, you’ll find that using the Sedona Method is an ideal support for other systems. This includes those you are already doing and those you may do in the future. As you combine releasing with other forms of self-exploration, results will come more quickly and easily. The Method will make it easier to stick with whatever process is working in your life, because you’ll be able to understand and apply the concepts that you’re learning on a more consistent basis. People who learn the Method frequently comment that it is the missing piece they’ve been looking for in everything else they’ve done to help themselves.

Note: If you are presently involved in any form of psychological or medical treatment, please do not change your treatment regimen without first consulting your healthcare professional.

Harness the Strength of Your Different Modes of Sensing

Most of us have a predominant form of physical sensing: visual (sight), kinesthetic (physical feeling), or auditory (sound). If you’re not sure which one is your leading mode of sensing, then, in addition to asking yourself the releasing questions, try incorporating all three of these modes into the process. Later, use the one that works best for you.

Visual Sensing

If you lead with your visual sense, or you simply like working with it, allow yourself to come up with visual images while you go through the releasing questions. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

• Visualize a knot where you feel tension or another sensation in your body, and see it unraveling as you let it go.