The Love Island: The laugh out loud romantic comedy you have to read this summer

‘I’m a bit nervous,’ Roberta said. ‘I thought I was OK talking about Scott, but now I’m not sure.’

‘Don’t be silly. They’ll all be looking at you and thinking what an idiot he was to let you get away. We’ll have a laugh.’ Which was ironic coming from me, given that my dread was increasing with every junction we clocked up towards our leafy Sussex school.

Roberta seemed more excited than nervous. As we drew through the gates, she started pointing through the window. ‘Look, that’s Veronica. And Cinzia. Oh my God. Elfrida looks amazing. She’s really glamorous. I don’t remember her being like that at school.’

I wanted to be interested. But I felt just like I had then. The dumpy poor girl who had to dye her hair a kaleidoscope of colours to get noticed.

‘How soon can we leave?’

Roberta yanked up the handbrake. ‘What is it you say to your youngsters at nursery? The only difference between having a good time and a bad time is attitude?’

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