Bedlam

“The only lead we have is this person,” China said, her fingernail tapping the table. A new photograph appeared. A tall man leaving a house, his dark hair shot through with grey. “We’ve identified him as Oberon Guile, an American sorcerer who has just completed a three-year sentence in Ironpoint Gaol for robbery. That is, roughly, the sum total of the information we have about him.”

“This is Bertram Wilkes’s house that Mr Guile is leaving,” said Praetor. “We’ve been watching it for months and Mr Guile is the only person we’ve seen, coming or going. This photograph was taken three days ago, and we’ve been keeping discreet tabs on him since then in the hope that he leads us to something more concrete. But our feeling now is that we must act.”

“Which is where we come in,” Skulduggery said.

“I am fully aware that, as Arbiters, you do not work for me,” China responded, “but I would greatly appreciate it if you would make contact with Mr Guile and find out what he knows and what he’s after and how it connects back to Abyssinia and whatever dastardly plan she’s hatching. Does that sound acceptable?”

“It sounds positively acceptable,” Skulduggery said. “And in the meantime you’re going to be looking into corruption in the City Guard and seeing how far it’s spread, yes?”

China settled her gaze on him. “Yes,” she said eventually, a hint of reluctant amusement in her voice. “I was just about to announce that.”

Valkyrie and Skulduggery stood up to leave.

“One more thing,” China said. “I have a favour to ask, actually.”

Skulduggery tilted his head. “This should be interesting.”

“I find myself somewhat conflicted of late,” China began. “Abyssinia is, obviously, a threat that must be taken seriously. We don’t know what her plans are, but we can rest assured that they will not be in our best interests. She sees herself as a ruler, the Princess of the Darklands and, I am sure, its future queen, and she will not stop until both the mortal world and the magical world are under her control.”

Whereas China would only be happy once the magical world stayed under her control was something Valkyrie decided not to say out loud.

“Abyssinia’s actions, and the actions of her little gang of killers, are to be condemned. However, I must admit to being cautiously happy that Caisson has been broken free from his almost-century-long torture. As everyone in this room knows, I raised him, and he was almost like a son to me.”

Valkyrie kept her mouth shut.

“But more trouble is stirring,” said China. “Serafina Dey wants Caisson back. She seems to think that because he killed her dearly departed husband, she owns the poor boy. So, as part of her efforts to recover him, she’s coming here.”

“I don’t suppose she’s planning a quiet visit, is she?” Skulduggery asked.

China smiled. “Not entirely. She expects crowds, a red carpet, a reception, dinners … And that is what I have to request of you.”

“I don’t eat dinner,” Skulduggery said.

“And you don’t have to,” China responded. “I’m going to be greeting her on the front steps of the High Sanctuary on Saturday at noon. My esteemed Council of Advisors will be in attendance, of course, and I would greatly appreciate it if you two would be there also.”

“Why?” Valkyrie asked.

“A show of strength,” China said. “A show of solidarity.”

“And also because we’re Arbiters,” Skulduggery said, “and we operate outside the jurisdiction of any one Sanctuary. In theory, we’re the only people with the authority to challenge someone like Serafina Dey.”

“There is that, too,” China conceded.

Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie, and she shrugged.

“We’ll be there,” she said. “I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to meet the woman who married Mevolent. I can only imagine what kind of freak she’s going to be.”

“Mr President, we were thinking that maybe you need a cat.”

Martin Flanery, the President of the United States of America, the most powerful man in the world, the most important man in the world, and the most famous man in the world, swivelled his chair round and looked at the aide who had spoken.

The Oval Office was full of people. His Chief of Staff, his Directors of Communication, his Press Secretary, aides and advisors and assistants and one or two others. All their voices blurred into one after half an hour. This guy had caught his attention.

“What?” he said.

“A cat,” the aide repeated. Flanery didn’t know his name. Aides’ names were rarely important. “Or a dog. A pet, basically. We feel it might soften your image.”

“What’s wrong with my image?”

The aide paled. “Nothing.”

Flanery leaned forward, elbows on his desk. “Then why do I need to soften it?”

The aide looked around for help. None came. That pleased Flanery. He liked to see people flounder.

“We just thought,” the aide said, not nearly so confident now, “that it might be a good idea to present a, uh, a more relatable image to the voters.”

“They seemed to relate to me fine when they voted for me,” Flanery said. “You think they’ve forgotten that? You think they’ve forgotten who I am?”

“I … I didn’t mean anything by it, sir.”

“You know your problem? The lot of you? You’re approaching it all wrong. People don’t want to relate to me. They want to emulate me. They want to be me. I offer them what nobody else does. I offer them glamour. Celebrity. I offer them opulence, and that’s what they want. When they’re paying for groceries or standing in line for a hot dog or watching the game, they think about me and they know that if they put in the time and the effort, they could have what I have.”

This was a lie, of course. In order to have what Flanery had, they’d need his money and his keen understanding of power, a talent that allowed him to take risks that the average person couldn’t even begin to comprehend. He was so far beyond them that it had stopped being funny a long time ago – but the fantasy seemed to keep them happy.

The conversation turned to matters of policy, and Flanery’s mind drifted to Dan Tucker, the vice-president, and the interview he’d given that made it sound like he was mocking Flanery’s intelligence. Flanery would have to talk to him about that. Or get his Chief of Staff to talk to him. He was sure it had just been a mistake. It had to have been.

Then he thought about the Big Plan that he’d come up with, and he thought about Abyssinia and about how much he despised her. She was a witch, and she treated him with disrespect. Because of that, he didn’t like talking to her. He quite enjoyed it when she rang his private phone and he didn’t answer. That was a power move. His father had taught him all about power moves, and Flanery had added a few of his own over the years. He was an expert at power moves.

When the meeting was done, he dismissed them all and left the Oval Office. He went down the corridor and kept going until he entered the Residence. He went into the dining room and shut the door, then turned on the TV to find out what the press was saying about this whole Dan Tucker mess.

It was not good.

“Everything OK, Martin?”

Flanery yelled and jumped. Crepuscular Vies sat at the table, halfway through a meal. His shirtsleeves were rolled up and he wasn’t wearing his hat. His bow tie had butterflies on it.

Flanery didn’t like to see him eating. Having no lips made it unpleasant. “How did you get that food?” he asked, looking away.

“I picked up the phone and ordered it,” Crepuscular answered, and then, in a startlingly precise impression of Flanery’s own voice, said, “Bring me a steak, fried to a crisp, with some fries. No vegetables.’ You’re not a difficult man to impersonate, Martin, even though I was restricted to the terrible orders you regularly make. Steak, well done? That’s a crime against cattle.”

With no idea how to respond to that, Flanery decided to let it go. To cover up this momentary weakness, he jabbed a finger at the TV. “You hear this crap? You hear what they’re saying?”

Crepuscular sawed through another bit of meat, then popped it between his teeth. “I did.”

“They’re saying Tucker insulted me,” Flanery said, feeling the anger rise again. “They’re saying he called me stupid. He’s the vice-president! He wouldn’t do that. I’m the one in charge. He wouldn’t be vice-president if it wasn’t for me picking his name out of a hat!”

“You might not want to tell him that part.”

“You’re supposed to help me,” Flanery grumbled. “Isn’t that what you said you’d do? Isn’t that what you promised?”

Crepuscular didn’t say anything. Good. That meant Flanery had him on the back foot. Not responding to a challenge showed weakness, which was why Flanery always responded to opponents with insults or scorn. Crepuscular, for all his arrogance, hadn’t learned that yet.

“As far as I can see,” Flanery continued, “you haven’t lived up to your part of the deal. This shouldn’t be happening. The media shouldn’t be reporting this stuff. What are you going to do about it? I get enough incompetence with my staff, I do not need it from you!”

Flanery stopped, and waited for Crepuscular to respond.

Crepuscular finished eating, and dabbed at his lipless mouth with a napkin before he stood. He pushed the chair back into place and unfolded his shirtsleeves, buttoning them at the wrist as he came forward. He reached out and his hand closed round Flanery’s throat and he walked him backwards.

“You seem to be mistaking me for someone else,” Crepuscular said.

Flanery wasn’t a particularly athletic man, and he’d never played sport or learned how to box or wrestle, and in many respects he’d never had to actually lift anything heavy in his life, but even so he was surprised at the ease with which Crepuscular pinned him to the wall. His height, his weight, his importance – none of it meant anything. To Crepuscular, Flanery was nothing but a weakling.

“You seem to be mistaking me for Mr Wilkes,” Crepuscular continued. “He was the one you barked at, and complained to, and insulted. He was the one who scurried after you. Do you think I’m him, Martin? Is that what you think?”

Flanery tried to answer, but all he could do was gurgle. He could barely shake his head.

“I’m the one who killed him, Martin,” Crepuscular said. “I’m the one who snapped his neck after he’d finally had enough. I remember the look on your face when he stood up to you. Your bullying didn’t seem to work on him then, did it?”

Darkness clouded Flanery’s vision. He was aware of his own spittle on his chin. He was aware of the ridiculous sounds he was making. He was aware of his hands, tapping weakly against the scary man’s arm. His head pounded. His legs were jelly.

And then Crepuscular moved him away from the wall and swung him round, and the backs of his knees hit something and he collapsed into a chair and Crepuscular was walking away.

Flanery doubled over, gasping for air.

“You’re doing a great job, Mr President,” Crepuscular said, his voice coming from somewhere behind the drumming of Flanery’s own heartbeat. “Don’t let the liberal media get you down. They don’t understand you. They don’t see why the people love you. And they do love you. More than any other president since Lincoln.”

Nodding, Flanery straightened up in his chair.

Crepuscular had put his jacket on. He was wearing another one of those checked suits he liked so much. He put on his hat and straightened his bow tie. “Ten days,” he said. “Ten days and your plan goes into action. Ten days and the world changes, sir, and you go down in history. Are you looking forward to that?”

Flanery nodded quickly.

“Then who cares what they say on the news? And who cares what Vice-President Tucker may or may not have called you? None of it matters. The only thing that will matter, in ten days’ time, is the small naval base in Whitley, Oregon, and all the people who died there.”

It was a messy business, crying.

Sebastian hated it. His tears would fog up the lenses on his mask and his face would get all wet and dribbly and there wasn’t anything he could do about it except wait. Eventually, the mask would soak it all up, just like it did when he perspired. Or sneezed.

Sneezing was the worst. Well, sneezing was the worst so far. Every night, before he went to sleep, he prayed that there would be no reason for him to throw up the next day.

His suit. God, he hated that thing. The beaked mask that made him look like a crow. The heavy coat. The hat. Why was there even a hat? Why was the hat necessary?

He hated it all. He longed to touch his own skin, to rake his fingers through his hair. Ever since he’d put the suit on, he’d been unable to scratch himself. Itches drove him mad.

And breathing. Oh, how he missed fresh air. How he missed the taste of it. And the feel of it. A breeze. What he wouldn’t give to feel the slightest breeze against his face.

But the worst thing about this whole mission was the loneliness. The sheer, terrifying loneliness of his situation. Every other day, he’d get an update on the continuing search for Darquesse. He’d stand there and nod while Forby took him through the details of what he was doing, pretending to grasp at least some of the fundamentals when it came to scanning an infinite number of dimensions for the slightest trace of Darquesse’s energy signature. He was sure Forby now regarded him as an idiot, and probably regretted voting for him to be the leader of their little group, but for Sebastian it was one of the few chances he got to interact with a real live person, so he loved it. He loved every mind-numbingly confusing second of it.

And, every week, they’d have their meeting. They’d all get together at Bennet’s, or Lily’s, or Kimora’s. Never at Ulysses’s house, because his wife didn’t approve, and never at Tarry’s, because he said his place was always a dump, but they got together and they chatted and either Ulysses or Lily would bring cake, and even though Sebastian didn’t need food – his suit took care of his nourishment – and he couldn’t eat even if he wanted to, it was good. He had friends.

But then the meeting would end, and they’d all head back to their families and to their lives, and Sebastian would return to the empty house he’d made his own, and sit there. In the dark. In the silence.

Metaphorically, of course. Every house in Roarhaven came fully furnished and hooked up to electricity, so he actually sat in a warm, brightly lit house, watching TV or reading a book.

But no amount of TV and no amount of books, as wonderful as they were, could ever provide him with the friendship he needed – that he’d once had, but he’d left behind. For the mission. For the damn mission.

For the mission he was failing at.

Of course he was going to fail. It was inevitable. He was going to let them all down. The world needed Darquesse. They needed her power, even if they didn’t realise it. And it was all up to him to find her. All up to Sebastian Tao, the Plague Doctor, the Idiot Who Was Going To Ruin Everything.

There was a doomsday clock, somewhere in the world, and it was ticking steadily down.

A knock on the door snapped him out of his melancholy. He opened it. Bennet stood there, holding two bottles of beer.

“Hey, buddy,” Bennet said. “I was passing, and …”

Sebastian frowned behind his mask. “There’s nothing beyond this house except more empty houses.”

“Well, I meant I was in the neighbourhood and …” Bennet sagged. “The fact is, my TV packed up on me, and there’s a game on tonight that I’ve been looking forward to, so I was wondering if I could watch it with you …?”

“Sure,” Sebastian said, the brightness in his voice surprising him. “Come on in. I’m afraid I can’t offer you anything, because I don’t eat or drink.”

“That’s why I brought these,” said Bennet as they walked into the living room. “They’re non-alcoholic, don’t worry. I have to drive home.”

“Wise man,” said Sebastian. He sat in the armchair, searching for the remote, while Bennet took up his position on the couch. “I’m pretty sure I have the sports channels. I vaguely remember flicking past a football game once.” He found the remote and sat back.

“It’s nice and quiet here,” Bennet said.

“Yeah,” Sebastian responded. “No traffic outside. No neighbours.”

Bennet sipped his beer. “It’s been pretty quiet at my place, too. Christmas was particularly hard. I’m just used to, you know, decorations and the tree, and the music and all the fuss and the … the feeling, you know? But the house was very quiet this year. Very quiet. I didn’t bother with any of the … things. That was Odetta’s area.”

“How is Odetta?”

“She’s good,” Bennet said with a sad smile. “She really seems to be happy with Conrad. He doesn’t say much, you know. Or anything, really. Apparently, Hollow Men can grunt, if they churn their gases in a certain way? But I’ve never heard him make a sound. He treats her well, though. I think. I don’t know. He doesn’t do a whole lot except stand there.”

“Right.”

“Makes you wonder how bad a husband I must have been if Odetta chose a Hollow Man over me, eh?” Bennet said, and laughed. “But naw, she’s good. She’s happier. And Kase is living with them. He’s doing well at school. He’s a good kid.”

“He is,” Sebastian agreed. “Do you spend much time with him?”

“Not as much as I’d like. And now, with my new job and all, I’ve got to focus on not getting fired, so that cuts down on the father-son thing.”

“You want my advice?” Sebastian said. “Spend more time with him. He deserves all the attention he can get from parents who love him.”

“Yeah …”

“We never know how much time we have left, Bennet.”

Bennet took another sip of his beer. “This is true.”

“If I had family, I’d be cherishing every moment I had with them.”

“You don’t have family?”

“Not any more.”

“You … want to talk about it?”

“Not especially.”

“Sore subject?”

“Yeah.”

“OK,” said Bennet. “But, if you ever do need to talk, that’s what friends are for.”

“Thank you,” Sebastian said, fighting the sudden rush of warmth that threatened to bring tears to his eyes. He clicked on the TV. “So what channel is the game on?”

“Do you ever doubt what we’re doing?”

Sebastian lowered the remote. “What do you mean?”

“What Forby’s doing with the machine and all?”

“Looking for Darquesse?”

“No. Well, yes, but not the search itself – just the likelihood of finding her.”

Sebastian sighed. “It’s tricky,” he admitted. “I’ve got this little voice in my head and every day it whispers to me, Maybe Darquesse is dead. Maybe the Faceless Ones tore her apart years ago.”

“Or maybe, if we find her, she won’t want to come back.”

Sebastian frowned. “You think that’s a possibility?”

“Don’t you?”

“I don’t know. It never occurred to me that she might not want to return. I mean, this is her home.”

“That she left.”

“Well, yeah, but she left under false pretences, didn’t she?”

“Which brings me to my next point,” Bennet said. “What if she comes back to finish the job? If we find her, if we tell her that she was fooled into thinking she’d ended all life on earth … what if she only comes back to do it for real?”

“That,” said Sebastian, “is a possibility. We all know that. But do you believe it?”

“No,” said Bennet. “But can I be trusted? Can any of us be trusted? We saw what Darquesse can do. We saw her power and it unlocked something in us, a love and a devotion that could quite possibly be self-destructive. I don’t think she’d kill us if she returned. But I might be wrong. We all might be wrong.”

“Sounds like you’re going through a crisis of faith, my friend.”

Bennet suddenly looked flustered, like he’d miscalculated. “I mean … I mean, I’m still devoted to—”

Sebastian held up a hand. “I didn’t mean it as an accusation. Of course you’re doubting all this. Everything you’ve said is one hundred per cent true. These are the thoughts that go through my mind a thousand times a day.”

Bennet relaxed. “So how do you handle it?”

“I … believe, I suppose. I choose to believe that it’ll work out, that we’ll find her, we’ll bring her home, and that everything will be OK. You’re not alone here, Bennet.”

Bennet finished his first beer, and put the empty bottle on the coffee table. “Well, neither are you. I hope you know that.”

Sebastian smiled. “Thank you. So, which channel is the game on?”

“I don’t know,” Bennet answered. “I don’t even like football. I came over here because I was lonely and I thought we could hang out. Do you have any video games? I’m pretty good at—”

Bennet’s phone beeped at the same time as Sebastian’s buzzed. They looked at their screens at the same time. It was a message. From Forby.

I think I’ve found Darquesse.

Valkyrie got back to Grimwood House at a little past nine. She got out of the car and Xena ran up to her and they cuddled until the dog calmed down enough for Valkyrie to open the front door.

She flicked on the lights, dumped the day’s post on the hall table and fed Xena. She ate leftovers in the quiet kitchen, washed the plate and put it away, then went upstairs to have a shower. Her phone chimed when she got out. It was Temper Fray, asking them to meet him the next day. She messaged him back, then dressed in pyjama bottoms and a light top. On her way back down the stairs, the doorbell rang.

She padded across the hall in her bare feet, and opened the door.

Tanith Low stood there in jeans and a warm coat open over a Prince T-shirt, her blonde hair tousled.

Valkyrie leaped forward, wrapping her in the biggest hug she could muster.

“Holy crap,” Tanith wheezed.

“I missed you,” Valkyrie said into her shoulder.

“I miss my lungs,” said Tanith. “I’m sure they were there a second ago …”

Valkyrie released her and jumped back, looked her up and down. “Your hair’s shorter. I love it. Where have you been?”

“Away.”

“What have you been doing?”

“Things.”

“How are you?”

“Tormented.”

“I want to hear every last little detail.”

She made them each a cup of tea and they sat on the couch, legs curled beneath them.

“Look at you,” Tanith said. “Right up until you answered that door, I still had this picture in my head of you as a … not a kid, but … a girl. But you’re a proper grown-up, aren’t you?”

“Technically.”

“How’s Skulduggery?”

“Same as ever. We’ve been dealing with a bit of a thing lately. Abyssinia, you heard of her?”

Tanith nodded. “I try to keep up with what’s happening. Is it true she’s Skulduggery’s ex?”

“That is true, yes.”

“Wow. Must have been quite a shock to learn he had an ex-girlfriend back on the scene. How about you?”

“How about me what?”

“Any boyfriends I should know about?”

“Not right now,” said Valkyrie. She took a breath. “There is a girlfriend, though.”

“Really?” Tanith said, drawing the word out as her eyes got wider. “You dark horse, you. When did this happen?”

“Few months ago. Her name’s Militsa Gnosis. She’s a teacher at Corrival Academy. Necromancer.”

“Oooh,” said Tanith, “a bad girl.”