Come Together

‘Someone else got you this excited?’

He fell quiet and got a strange faraway look in his eyes. Damn, she ought to have realised. Only one person made his vision cloud like that. Dani moved her hand and squeezed his fingers instead. She didn’t want him choked up on memories. Nor did she want the reminder of his fluid sexuality. She thought she probably ought to say or do something, but they had reached the backstage area and all of a sudden there were too many people around for them to discuss anything so private.

Her worries about Xane quickly passed as they were thrown in the whirl of activity. Dani realised it was the first time she’d seen the whole band together in one place. Her inner fan-girl took over, so she was sporting a stupid grin she couldn’t dislodge. Spook and Ash were chatting to a couple of the road crew. Elspeth Shriik was sipping water through a straw while glaring with undisguised hatred at Iain Willows, who wasn’t at all what Dani had expected.

In her mind’s eye she’d dressed him in tight black leathers, with one of those strange bolero-type jackets that covered the arms and fastened above the abs but left the whole chest on display. She’d envisaged him being kind of hot, but borderline sleazy too. Only he wasn’t that. He wasn’t really very Black Halo-ish either. He looked more pop than rock with his razor-cut hair and his thick beetling eyebrows, as if he’d come straight from entertaining the tweenage crowd. No wonder Xane had his doubts. Luthor would definitely have been a more obvious fit. She wondered if he’d returned to the sound booth to help Ulf or if he’d actually walked out.

One of the crew fitted Xane with an earpiece, while another supplied him with a banana. ‘Pre-gig ritual,’ he explained, in response to her curious stare. ‘It’s hard work out there. This stops me coming off stage completely bushed.’

‘You’d better eat a few of them, then,’ she advised, snatching a second banana from the same crew member, and peeling it ready for Xane to eat. ‘I’m going to want you wide awake, not sleepy.’

‘I don’t think that’ll be a problem.’ Still, he took her offering, and devoured it in four bites.

‘Don’t any of the others partake?’

‘They’ve quirks of their own.’ He drew her attention to them in turn. ‘Spook mutters some ancient Swedish ode, and he doesn’t need bananas. He practically lives on guarana and goji berries. Elspeth,’ he said without looking at his former lover, ‘spritzes herself with exactly five squirts of Midnight Poison, but not until the very last second. Rock Giant burns a few new holes in the ozone layer making sure those spikes of his stay in place.’

‘And Ash?’

‘He’ll have spent the last hour sucking aniseed balls, so he tastes like he’s been necking Pernod.’

She didn’t enquire how he knew what Ash tasted like, already knowing she wouldn’t like the answer. However, the damage was already done, and her overactive imagination had produced a crystal-clear image of Xane and Ash kissing. It was hard enough dealing with the fact that Xane had been in love with Steve Matlock, let alone speculating on what relationships he’d had and what things he’d done with the rest of the band. It wouldn’t surprise her to learn that he’d slept with every goddamned one of them. She didn’t need confirmation of that fact, though. It might not surprise her, but it did make her hideously queasy.

‘Ash also likes to line up his post-show entertainment.’ He nodded his head towards a huddle of girls waiting in the corner. To Dani’s astonishment, her best friend Ginny was among them.

‘What – how are you here? Why are you here?’

‘Same as you. I’m scoring myself a red-hot rock star.’ She winked at Xane, who turned away. ‘I got myself a legit pass this time.’ It read, ‘Property of Ash Gore’.

‘We’ll speak in a bit,’ Dani said, before scuttling off to catch up with Xane, whose attention had turned to the new guy. She hoped Ginny knew what she was doing, and wasn’t going to get herself hurt. Ash wasn’t like Xane. He didn’t get emotionally invested.

‘I hope you’re not drinking too much of that shit.’

Dani jumped in response to Xane’s growl. It wasn’t directed at her but at Iain Willows, who was busy necking a very large and lethal-looking cocktail.

Showing impressive guts, Iain locked gazes with Xane. ‘Is there a problem with me having a drink?’

‘No. No problem.’ Ash darted between them, his palms raised towards Xane. ‘It’s just one drink, Xane. It’s not a problem.’

‘If he’s playing for us, I want him sober.’

‘He’s not going to get wasted on one drink. It’s not like he’s downed a dozen pints.’

‘It’s OK, Ash.’ Iain pushed Ash to one side so he could address Xane directly. ‘I get this is difficult for you. Steve was a fantastic drummer, I know I’m going to have a hell of a time trying to replace him, but –’

‘You’ll never replace him.’ Xane turned his back and stalked away.

Dani lingered a moment, staggered by Xane’s bluntness.

‘He’s still in shock,’ she muttered by way of an explanation. ‘He doesn’t find it easy to talk about Steve.’

Ash nodded in agreement with her. He clapped Iain on the back. ‘Give him time. It’s only been a few weeks.’

‘Maybe you’re not ready to be on tour.’

‘But we are. It’ll be fine. It’s only the first night. Once we’re through this, things will settle down.’

Dani hoped Ash was right, but at the moment she wasn’t even sure how Xane was going to manage to sing. ‘How do you and Ash know one another?’ she asked Iain.

‘We were in a band together once. Sorry, who are you?’

‘She’s Xane’s girlfriend,’ Ash said.

‘Oh, right! It was back in college. Do you ever see any of those guys any more?’

‘No.’

‘Remember Tom? I wonder if he still has a games controller welded to his hand.’

‘Probably. Shouldn’t you catch up with Xane?’ Ash nudged her in the direction of her lover. Dani caught up with Xane as he was slipping his yellow contact lenses in. He blinked to make sure they were sitting right. It shocked her just how much they altered his visage. Gone were the shadows and pain she knew he had locked up inside, replaced by a vision of ghoulish decadence.

‘What?’ he asked, curling his lip in response to her stare.

‘Are you all right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘It’s just you were –’ She didn’t want to say rude, even though that’s exactly what he’d been. ‘It’s not his fault. He’s helping you out, Xane.’

‘Yeah, ’cause stepping in to drum for Black Halo is a real hardship. He’s not helping us. He’s helping himself.’

‘Must you be quite so cynical?’

‘Yes, actually.’ He sneered, in a way that probably shouldn’t have wet her panties but did.

‘Xane.’

‘What?’

She stretched on tiptoes to steal a kiss.

‘Um,’ he responded, not pushing her away.

‘Are you always this tense right before you go on?’

‘Sometimes. Not always. It’s odd going out there without him. We’ve always done this together, and now I have to introduce him.’ He inclined his head towards Iain without looking at him. ‘Like I want to go out and say, this is our farewell to Steve and, by the way, here’s his substitute.’

‘Then don’t introduce him. Just play.’

He smiled. ‘And you think I’m rude.’ He shook his head, but kept on grinning. ‘Come here. I need another one of these.’ He demanded another kiss, and another, like he hoped to find strength inside her. Rock Giant walked past and made a loud puking noise. Xane responded by sticking a finger up at him. He didn’t release her, though, not until Ash tapped him on the shoulder.

‘Time’s up, mate. You need to put the nice lady down now.’ He grasped hold of Xane’s upper arm and used the hold to turn him away from Dani and towards the stage. ‘We just need to borrow him for a bit. I swear I’ll bring him back.’

‘Stay right there,’ Xane insisted. ‘The moment I get off …’

‘You’ll what? Get her off?’ Ash interrupted. He gave her a cheeky grin. ‘We’re having a live sex show as an encore. You never said that. If I’d known, I’d have put it on the advertising.’

Xane slapped him round the head, but Dani was grateful to him for lightening the mood.

‘Save it for later, boys.’ Spook glided past them, his guitar already in his hands. ‘You can do all the manly wrestling you like post-show.’

‘I’d rather wrestle with his special friend.’ Ash grabbed Dani’s hand and twirled her round.

Xane dragged him off her. ‘Get your own special friend.’

Ash pouted. ‘But Xane, all my friends are special.’ He waved at the girls waiting patiently in the corner. ‘Since you’re bringing Dani, can I bring them along?’

Xane shoved him up onto the stage.

‘Good luck,’ Dani called after them. She went and joined Ash’s fan club, who had a prime spot at the front of the stage. She was still surprised by Ginny’s presence among them. ‘Why are you here?’ she asked again.

‘To save you the best spot in the house.’ She dragged Dani to the front, right up against the barrier. ‘And Ash is hot. I fancied another helping. You can’t blame me for wanting a little of what you have with Xane.’

‘I don’t, but … Ginny, he’s not like Xane. He’s –’

‘Thank God. You can keep mister tall, dark and brooding. I’ll have mister –’

‘– slightly less tall and brooding,’ Dani suggested.

Ginny conceded the point with a grin. ‘Yeah, I guess.’ She linked their arms. ‘This is going to be epic. Are you ready to scream yourself hoarse?’

Dani nodded, because the band had exploded into sound and there was no way Ginny would possibly hear her reply. She had to wonder at her friend’s behaviour, though. Since when was standing in the crowd or singing herself hoarse Ginny’s idea of fun? The last time they’d come to see Black Halo, Ginny hadn’t been remotely interested in seeing them play, only on scoring herself a good time. Evidently the night she’d spent with Ash, Spook and Rock Giant had changed her mind about that. She was now yelling like she was their number-one fan.

Chapter 7

The crowd were fucking wild, baying and whooping and slamming their bodies against the barriers that lined the front of the stage. After the post-show mayhem following their last show, security weren’t up for taking risks. There was a row of hulking brutes between Xane and his audience. It didn’t matter. He blanked out everything else, the uneasy truce that had brought him here, the imposter on his stage, the six-foot incision in his chest, and immersed himself in the music and the limelight. He dragged up lyrics and raw emotions from the darkest reaches of his soul, and then spat them at the audience – who lapped them up and worshipped him, singing, screaming along with him to the songs they knew, and communicating through the rhythm of their bodies their appreciation of the new material.

For a short time, the rapture they shared made him feel whole again. Gone were the feelings of resentment, gone his anxieties. The mechanics of the band hardly seemed to matter, as long as the music continued to come from the heart and maintained its poetic beauty.

The crowd worshipped him and they went crazy over Spook and Ash back to back, fingers working lightning-fast as their guitars duelled and Rock Giant maintained the thumping bass.

He didn’t try to blank out Steve. He let his loss show as he sang his farewell to him, and if a stray tear fell, then it was no bad thing. It didn’t make him soft. It simply expressed the extent of his grief. He knew the crowd understood, that they were shocked and traumatised by Steve’s loss too.

Xane finished off the evening with a torch song, guaranteed to pierce the hearts of the audience. It was an old favourite, from Black Halo’s first album, before they’d gone multi-platinum. In fact, this song had been the one to jet them into the stratosphere. ‘Torn Into’ struck a chord with people in a big way. The crowd crooned along with him.

Sadly, gone were the days of them holding their lighters aloft as they sang. Instead, he faced a sea of lit mobile-phone faces. It wasn’t quite the same, but probably resulted in fewer burned fingers.

Time sped up while he was out there. They said their farewells. Then came back and played a bitching version of ‘Perverted Wraiths’ as an encore, the driving beat leaving their audience adrenalin-crazed and punch-drunk. Xane took his bow as the lights faded away, feeling high and more at ease than he had in months.

Backstage hummed with activity; he could feel the buzz straightaway. The crew were all on a high, grinning as they went about their jobs. There wasn’t much time to party. The plan was to pack up and hit the road tonight, so they could settle into the new venue tomorrow without too much sweat. The first few days of a tour were always a bit chaotic, until everyone got into a routine.

‘I see someone let the vultures in.’ Spook knocked knuckles with him as they joined the crowd in the green room.

Xane’s money was on it having been their manager, because of the high proportion of media types to pretty girls seeking favours.

Spook handed his guitar over to a waiting member of the crew. ‘What do you reckon, leg it straight for the dressing rooms and hope they’ve got bored and naffed off by the time we come out?’

‘Much as I applaud the dressing-room plan, I need to find Dani first.’

‘Six o’clock,’ Spook said, nodding toward the backstage bar. ‘Do you see her?’

The only person Xane could see was Rock Giant, who was something of a landmark. ‘No. Where?’

‘Wedged between Ash and the wall.’

‘Where?’ Xane wasn’t normally possessive, but he knew what a snake Ash could be when it came to getting his leg over. He wouldn’t think twice about bedding Dani, or any other girl Xane happened to show an interest in. Matter of fact, in the past he’d made a point of seducing the girls the other guys hooked up with. It seemed to be a machismo thing with him, proving he was the hottest lover or something. He was also the biggest dick, much as Xane loved him. The only reason none of them had ever called Ash out over his practices was that none of them had ever been serious about a relationship before. Except for his former relationship with Elspeth and Steve. That was different. They’d all been part of the band, and Ash had never had a look-in there.

‘Don’t tear his head off,’ Spook pleaded. ‘I don’t want to have to shop for a lead guitarist too.’

Xane ripped a pathway through the crowd. He trusted Dani. He placed no blame on her; she was innocent to Ash’s ways. She was probably just hanging with her friend waiting for him when Ash and his trouser snake had pounced.

His annoyance spiked as he drew closer and realised that Iain Willows was in on the act of fucking with his girl too. He and Ash had Dani trapped between them, like the filling in some hideous sandwich. ‘Lay off her,’ he snarled, grabbing hold of Ash’s shoulder and hauling him backwards.

‘Watch it.’ Ash shrugged him off, shaking his head. ‘You’ve met Ginny, right?’

Yes. Yes, he had. The tension flowed from his limbs, as he realised the girl he’d taken to be Dani was in fact her friend and housemate.

‘Well, hello, He-Man,’ she drawled. A vamp’s smile stretched wide across her impish face. She gave him a thorough once-over, obviously enjoying what she saw. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘Where’s Dani?’ he demanded.

‘Is that all?’ she purred, her eyes showing her disappointment. She reached out to stroke the line of his lapel. ‘I thought, seeing how eager you were to speak, that maybe you required my urgent attention with something.’

‘Yes, tell me where my girlfriend is.’

‘The little girls’ room,’ Ash replied. He reasserted his claim on Ginny by encircling her waist with one arm.

‘Right. Thanks.’ That was all he needed to know. Xane backed away immediately and searched over the heads of the crowd for a signpost to the ladies’ bathroom.

‘Seriously, he’s going to wait outside the door?’ he heard Iain remark. ‘That is so uncool.’

Xane zapped him with his laser-beam stare. God, he resented having to have this guy around.

‘Odds are he’s planning on walking straight in,’ Ash replied, at which point Xane rewrote his strategy. Dani deserved better than to be groped in a venue toilet.

‘You know, it wouldn’t kill you to hang with us for a few minutes before you go tearing off,’ Rock Giant remarked, joining them. He had Elspeth tucked against him as if she required his support to stay upright.

‘I’m going to be squashed on to a bus with you lot for the next six months. Excuse me if I enjoy a little separation while I can.’

‘Xane, I want you to meet …’ Graham Callahan, Black Halo’s manager, stepped into Xane’s path. ‘This is Jenna from Rock Out Monthly.’

‘Not now, Graham.’

‘I was just hoping I could ask you a few questions, Mr Geist,’ the woman insisted, holding a dictaphone up towards him. ‘We’re all shocked and saddened by the loss of Steve Matlock. How easy was it for you all to replace him? I understand you and he were particularly close.’

‘Not now.’ He shot Graham a particularly evil look. He was not spilling his heart to some rag that probably wasn’t even interested in the band’s music. ‘Where’s Sally?’ he demanded. ‘I need the bus keys.’

Spook co-opted the journalist, winning her over with a smile and a suggestion that they find a quiet corner.

‘She’s in the office,’ Graham responded, which Xane took to mean the motorhome that Sally and Graham used as a temporary HQ while the band was on tour.

Good. It’d be parked next to the bus.

‘Xane.’ He hadn’t reached the bathroom before Dani found him. ‘You were awesome!’ She smacked a kiss against his lips. ‘You made me sob when you sang “Torn Into”.’ She fluttered her hand, tearing up again at the memory. There were still mascara smudges on her cheeks as proof.

Xane reached out to rub at them, only for a brilliant smile to burst from her.

‘And “The Garden of Lost Time” and “Hellhole” – God, you got me so horny, and then when Ash and Spook were duelling. I never knew they did that. I mean there’s a bit of it on the albums, but it doesn’t have the same oomph as when you’re seeing and hearing it live. It was so good. What? Why are you grinning at me like that?’

‘Because you’re awesome,’ he said, lifting her into his arms. She hugged him back, not seeming to mind that he was hot and sweaty and covered in stage paint and fake blood splatter.

‘I’m not awesome,’ she protested, wriggling in his arms. ‘You’re the one who’s amazing. I can’t believe I never came to see you live before. I mean, I did that last time you were supposed to play, but I should have done it before then. I’ve been missing out on so damn much.’ She smacked another scorching hot kiss against his lips. ‘You completely rocked my socks off.’

‘What do you say we sneak away and I rock your panties off?’

‘I say,’ she said, tucking his hair behind his ear so that she could whisper into it, ‘that you’re on.’

Chapter 8

Dani clung tightly to Xane’s hand as they sneaked out back to find Sally. She’d never been on a tour bus before, and was itching to see it almost as much as she was itching to push Xane up against a wall and run her hands all over his body.

It was dark in the lot out back, with only one or two dim lights rather than the floodlighting she’d expected. Sally insisted on unlocking for them, rather than simply handing over the keys. ‘It’s a new bus,’ she explained, which caused Xane to stop in his tracks.

‘Since when?’

‘You’re gonna love it, Xane. It makes the last one look like the rust-bucket.’

From what Xane had described, the last bus had been fairly comfortable, whereas the rust-bucket was the heap of shit that the crew used, normally accompanied by Ash and a collection of stray women.

‘Custom paint job.’ She held her hands out to present them the vehicle. It was huge, two storeys like a red London bus, but silver and black and with tinted windows. Black Halo’s distinctive logo graced the backend.

‘Oh, no,’ Xane said, evidently realising at the same time Dani did that there was only one bus parked up, not the two there ought to have been. ‘Where’s the rust-bucket?’

‘Scrapyard,’ Sally remarked blithely. ‘We didn’t need it any more. Wait until you see inside this beast. It has everything, air-con, state-of-the-art kitchen, on-board recording studio.’ She unlocked the door and ushered them up the steps. ‘This baby’s better kitted out than my house.’

‘It looks amazing,’ Dani agreed. The steps led up past the driver’s seat into a smart kitchen-dining area, finished in black and brushed steel to match the band’s image.

‘There’s a small sitting area beyond and two berths down here, with a loo, shower and double bedroom at the back. Then upstairs you have the studio, six bunks and another sitting area that converts into a spare double.’

‘Are there that many people you need beds for?’ Dani asked. She guessed that maybe there were if the crew and band were sharing lodgings. It looked pretty spacious at the moment, but once there were a few decent-sized blokes on board, the space was going to shrink fast.

‘This isn’t going to work, Sally. We have two buses for a reason,’ Xane said.

‘Which is?’

‘Ash.’

‘Mm hm … yeah. The thing is, there are a lot of dates on this tour, and there’s a lot of travelling involved. It makes no sense to be constantly waiting around for a bus that breaks down. Also, this way, you’re all in the same place. There’s no risk of losing anyone. If you need time out from each other, then you can ride with me and Graham in the motorhome or in the new equipment truck with Ulf.’

‘You replaced that too?’

‘Yeah, there was a fuck-off big scrape down the side of it. It looked as if it’d been side-swiped by Godzilla.’

‘Where’s Ash gonna …’

Sally patted him on the back. ‘I’m sure you’ll sort it out. You know, in the early days you always holed up on one bus, and there were never any issues.’

‘In those days Ash didn’t travel with an entourage.’

‘No,’ she said. ‘You did. Get used to it, Xane. This is how it is. I’m sure you can come to an agreement with Ash, you’re both adults. Talk to one another and settle it. Now, I’ll leave you and Dani to get comfortable.’ She waved them a cheery farewell.

‘Shit!’ Xane bellowed the moment Sally closed the outer door. He punched one of the cupboard doors, introducing a small dent.

‘How bad can it be?’ Dani rubbed his arm soothingly. ‘It’ll be a bit cramped when everyone’s together, but we’ll cope. I bet there’s not many times when everyone is in the same place.’

‘It’s not the number of people that’s the issue. I don’t want to listen to Ash fucking groupies every night. You’ve no idea what it’s like. It’s so-o not pretty when he turfs them out afterwards.’ He gave her a hard and very serious look. ‘I trust your friend Ginny realises there’s nothing more than a good time on offer.’

‘She does.’

‘Good. I wish the rest of his hook-ups were that bright. Most of them are convinced they’re the one, and he’s going to magically settle down and have babies.’

‘I can’t see Ash with a baby.’ She squinted, trying to picture him bare-chested with a newborn tucked against his body instead of his guitar. It didn’t work. ‘Maybe he can be persuaded to party elsewhere.’

‘What – like throw him a mattress in the back of the equipment van and let him hang out there?’

‘Harsh.’

‘Yeah, but if they see where he’s planning on banging them maybe they won’t get so fanciful in their ideas.’

‘Can I get fanciful?’ she asked, sliding her arms around his waist. The bonus of him thinking about Ash was that he wasn’t thinking about Steve, which in turn ought to make it easier for her to get him to focus on her.

‘You don’t need to get fanciful, I’m yours already.’

She’d never get tired of hearing him say it, even if it wasn’t entirely true. ‘Can we explore?’ She’d never got to do any normal childhood things like staying in a holiday home. ‘I want to choose a bed.’