Special Deliveries: Her Nine-Month Secret: The Secret Casella Baby / The Secret Heir of Sunset Ranch / Proof of Their Sin

‘What’s going on?’ Holly asked faintly.

‘Holiday clothes.’ He gestured nonchalantly to the women who had looked up to shoot her quick, curious smiles before returning to what they had been doing. ‘You can’t go shopping, so the shopping has come to you.’ He hadn’t been able to buy her anything when they had been lovers. Having written himself into the role of Mr Average, his generosity had hit a brick wall. Now, and for the first time in living memory, he had rather enjoyed personally having a hand in a shopping spree. He frowned at the perplexed, disapproving expression on her face.

‘Luiz, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t want any of this stuff. I’ve packed clothes…’

Luiz wondered when he was going to hear some form of gratitude from her. Was it just her pride talking or was his show of wealth really such a big turn-off for her? He decided to go with the pride. Anything else would open the door to disturbing thoughts that she really and truly didn’t like the man she now thought he was, which in turn would bring him back to the mythical soul mate lurking round the corner.

‘Where we’re going will be warm,’ he said bluntly, while indicating the chair next to him. ‘You probably won’t fit into your summer clothes from last year, if you even thought to bring any.’

Holly’s eyes flickered to the two women, who were discreet enough to be making a very big show of being deaf. She didn’t want to cause a scene but more than anything else she wanted to tell him that this wasn’t her thing at all.

‘I’ve brought all my larger-fitting clothes,’ she breathed sotto voce as she flopped into the chair indicated. ‘Where are we going? Do I have to try all that stuff on?’

‘Weirdly, most women would be thrilled to have all this brought to their door,’ Luiz remarked drily.

‘I’m not most women.’

‘More and more I see that as the understatement of the decade and, yes, trying on might be an idea. So…’ He leaned back and stretched out his long legs and lightly linked his fingers on his lap. ‘What about a catwalk?’

‘You’re kidding!’

‘There’s no need to look so horrified. If memory serves me, you used to enjoy strutting your stuff for me…’

A wash of colour flooded Holly’s face. In a heartbeat, she was remembering last winter, when the snow had been falling outside and, giggling and slightly tipsy, she had given him his own private striptease in front of the roaring open fire while he had relaxed, pretty much as he was doing now, his lazy, sexy eyes hungrily appreciating the curves on offer.

‘There’s no point talking about the past,’ she said stiffly.

‘Nor is there any point pretending that it didn’t exist.’ He waved the two girls over and informed them that they could go. ‘What’s not taken will be returned. Tell Bob Harvey to make sure you both get generous tips for your service.’ The second they had left the room, he turned to her. ‘Stop trying to play this game of disconnect. And stop shooting me down every time I try and ease the situation.’

‘That’s not fair.’

‘It may not be fair but it’s the truth. Now, are you going to try those clothes on? Pick whatever you want, and please don’t engineer an argument on the difficulties of accepting anything from me. We’ve entered a new phase of our relationship and you’ll just have to get with the programme.’

Holly swallowed hard. She didn’t want to argue with him all the time. She knew it was pointless. Plus it made her feel on edge and at odds with herself. She was just not accustomed to arguing with him, yet there was safety in arguments because they helped her widen the distance between them.

She stood up and took a few tentative steps towards the array of rainbow-coloured clothes on the backs of chairs, still neatly folded in boxes, hanging on the makeshift clothes-rail that had been brought with them. She glanced over her shoulder. ‘I look terrible in bright colours.’ But the silk, cotton and jersey under her fingers were seductive. ‘And I’m not parading in front of you,’ she warned. ‘I’m fat. Much fatter than I was…’

‘You’re pregnant. Pregnant is sexy.’

Holly tried her best to ignore that throwaway observation. She would bet her house that he had never uttered those words in his life before, and she was uneasily aware of just how much he was willing to accommodate for the sake of doing what he thought was best, right down to saying what he thought she wanted to hear in an attempt to relax her. Was it any wonder that she got on his nerves with her stubborn refusal to play along?

Well, she would bite back any retorts and go along with this trying-on charade. Reluctantly, she gathered up a handful of clothes and headed for the partition which had been erected at the end of the conservatory. It made a spacious and private changing room. When she tentatively peeked her head round, it was to see Luiz absorbed in whatever work he was doing on his computer. He might be there in body, but he certainly was not there in mind.

She remembered a handful of occasions when he had displayed that trait, that immense capacity for losing himself in work to the exclusion of everything around him. She had teased him that they should pay him more for having to slave over a computer on a weekend. It struck her that that had certainly not changed. He had always been single-mindedly focused and he still was.

More relaxed, knowing that he wasn’t waiting behind that partition trying to coerce her into coming out, Holly began to enjoy the process of trying on the clothes. She dragged the box over, along with some of the dresses draped on the backs of the chairs, and was rewarded with a brief, abstracted glance from Luiz.

Much as she hated to admit it, she never realised that trying on clothes could be so much fun. In fact, confronted with so much choice, she was finding it next to impossible to select items.

Nor did she look as appalling as she had feared. In fact, the colours suited her. Terracottas, oranges, greens and shades of gold all seemed to bring out the best in her complexion. Had he deliberately hand-chosen those colours? How had he managed to do so well in guessing her size? Everything was loose, but everything she tried on seemed to fit just right. He must have been very specific in his requests. Just thinking that he might have actually gone to a great deal of trouble on her behalf gave her a rush of delighted pleasure which she did her best to stifle.

Unfortunately, having gone to the effort, he had clearly lost interest. Piqued, Holly stepped out from behind the partition. The sundress was wonderfully accommodating for her gently expanding stomach, yet attractive, colourful and very fashionable.

‘What do you think?’ She told herself that this was normal behaviour; shying away and jumping every time he got within five feet of her was not. She gave a little twirl.

Having taken refuge behind his computer in a vain attempt to block out images of Holly getting undressed behind the partition, Luiz looked up. There was no hiding the fact of her pregnancy in the light summer dress, and he had never seen anything so sexy before. The force of his reaction stunned him, because since when had he ever been the kiddy type who waxed lyrical about pregnancy being sexy? True, there was virile satisfaction to be had from the fact that his baby was growing in her stomach, but her fecund body was the most potent aphrodisiac he could ever have imagined. Was she aware of how sheer the dress was? Or perhaps it was the light in the conservatory that made it possible for him to see everything underneath the fine fabric.

She must have removed her bra to try on the selection of swimsuits he had ordered. He could see the perfect shape of her breasts. He could almost make out the dark circles of her nipples.

‘I can’t see properly when you’re standing so far away.’ He snapped shut his laptop and straightened in the chair. ‘Walk towards me.’

‘I told you that I wasn’t going to parade…’ But, Lord, how she missed being the centre of his attention. She sashayed towards him. The dress was so soft and silky and it felt so cool and sexy brushing against her skin.

‘There’s a difference between walking and parading,’ Luiz murmured. And she definitely was parading.

‘Well? What do you think?’

‘Nice colours.’

Nice colours? Didn’t he know that she was asking for something a little more personal than nice colours? For a few wild seconds, she was back to that place in time when she just wanted to see that tell-tale flare of desire in his eyes. The force of her craving left her shaken.

‘But how do you think it looks on me?’ she persisted. She shouldn’t care whether he said something flattering or not, but his lack of reaction made her wonder if her pregnant body was a turn-off, despite what he had said earlier about pregnancy being sexy. Of course he was going to say that pregnancy was sexy! He was making a point of not arguing with her. He was determined to be the good guy, doing ‘the right thing’! Notably he hadn’t said that she was a sexy pregnant woman!

‘It looks… very fetching.’ Luiz stood up and walked towards her with his hands in his pockets. He circled her slowly, as if he was a fashion designer inspecting his product. He stood back, head to one side, rocking on the balls of his feet, and surveyed her from top to bottom.

‘You mean the colours are nice…’

‘Are you fishing for compliments?’ He liked the thought of that.

‘Of course not!’ Holly said loftily. ‘I just don’t want to make a fool of myself wearing something that’s not appropriate given my… shape and size. I’ve never liked those girls who think that they can just carry on dressing in normal clothes and ignoring the fact that they’ve got a great big bulge sticking out in front of them. There’s no way I would wear jeans and a cropped top and leave my stomach out there for the whole world to see.’

‘Nor would I allow you to do that.’ If anyone saw her pregnant stomach, it would be him. He had walked away from her—admittedly with a certain amount of reluctance—because he had known that theirs was a relationship that was going nowhere. However, the fierce possessiveness that made him see red at the thought of any other man ogling her lush body was confusing. Had the very fact of her pregnancy brought out a side to him that he hadn’t known existed? Certainly that seemed to be the case. ‘The dress is entirely appropriate, although…’

‘Although…?’

‘It seems to be quite sheer.’

‘What do you mean sheer?’

‘Transparent. To put it bluntly, I can see that you’re not wearing a bra.’

Holly went bright red. She resisted the urge to stick her hands over her breasts. The saying about the stable door shutting after the horse had bolted came to mind. He had seen her naked a thousand times before. It would be ridiculous to suddenly start reacting to what he had said with maidenly outrage.

‘I took it off because I was trying on swimsuits.’

‘Guessed as much. You must have gone up a bra size. Did the swimsuits fit?’ She would be a lot more than a handful now and he itched to discover for himself exactly how much more.

‘They’re stretchy. You still haven’t told me where we’re going, aside from it’s going to be hot.’ She tried to ignore the way her breasts were tingling and her nipples were tight and sensitive. It was as if his proximity generated an automatic response in her body over which she had no control. She wanted to feel his big hands cupping her breasts… She wanted to luxuriate in the sensation of his mouth covering one of her big, ripe nipples while he teased it with his tongue. Her eyelids fluttered and she knew that her breathing was soft and uneven.

‘So the swimsuits fit—that’s good. You should have shown me; I could have given my impartial opinion.’ God, he could smell her desire. As always it matched his, but there was no way he was going to make a move on her. Still, he was hard and fiercely aroused. In fact, it took sheer willpower to remain this close to her without touching.

‘I told you that I wasn’t going to parade in front of you.’

‘Because you feel… fat? Self-conscious? You shouldn’t,’ he said roughly. ‘Pregnancy suits you.’

‘You’re just saying that.’ Holly knew that this conversation was dangerous. She should be walking away and smartly gathering up what she had decided to take. She should be crisply asking for details of the trip ahead and parroting back to him what he had told her earlier about them entering a new phase in their relationship. Instead, she was dithering in front of him, mesmerised by his dark eyes and the soft, velvety drawl of his voice.

‘Am I?’

Holly was horrified when of its own accord, her hand reached out and touched his chest. It was like touching a live electric current.

‘No touching,’ Luiz murmured. ‘Your rules, I believe?’

‘I wasn’t…’ She withdrew her hand, mortified, and glared up at him.

‘Yes, you were. You don’t have to be ashamed of the fact that you still want me.’

‘I don’t want to have this conversation. I don’t want you. You’re not the person I thought you were! Why would I still want you?’

‘Because you’re attracted to me and it cuts through all the reasons you keep finding for denying it. Let’s face it—if I wanted, I could have you right here, right now, surrounded by clothes, on the rug, damn the consequences…’

Holly tottered a few steps back. He was right and she hated herself for being so weak and pathetic. How could she still be so consumed by a man who had used her? Who had never seen her as a long-term partner? Who was only with her now because of her situation? Was she so lacking in self-respect?

‘Okay,’ she admitted tersely. ‘So you still turn me on.’

‘And at last you’re admitting it. Honesty is always the best policy.’

‘It’s just a physical thing,’ she muttered fiercely. ‘It’s just a left-over reaction from what we had. It doesn’t mean anything!’ She turned away abruptly. Her eyes stung with angry unshed tears. She thought she could detect smug satisfaction in his voice. So she had refused to marry him. Did he imagine that she was still so besotted with him that she would continue having sex with him?

Another, darker thought infiltrated her brain. He had meant it when he had said that he wouldn’t tolerate another man bringing up his child. Knowing him as well as she did, she didn’t doubt that for a second. Did he think that he could use her continuing attraction to him as a way of keeping her tethered to him? With no marriage, he would be free to cast his net somewhere else, yet he would continue to command her loyalty because she couldn’t fight the dictates of her own weak, cowardly body.

Was Luiz Casella a man who seriously thought that he could have his cake and eat it, and was she so stupid that she would allow him to get away with it? She would just have to try harder to steel herself against the physical impact he still had on her. Deprived of essential nutrients, lust was something fragile that would wither away in no time at all.

‘You still haven’t given me any details about this trip.’ She kept her face a perfect blank as she looked up at him, arms folded.

‘Sit. Good. Okay, I have an ongoing project—one of the Bermudian islands—an eco-hotel catering for the discerning client. It’s to be the first of several across the world.’

‘You’re into hotels?’ Holly was distracted enough to ask. ‘But I thought you were into computers.’

‘In business, it makes sense not to put all your eggs in one basket.’

‘So we’re going to… to the Caribbean?’

‘I wouldn’t let any of the locals hear you say that,’ Luiz told her with a wry smile. ‘The climate may be great, but technically it’s closer to New York as the crow flies. My family has had a house there for many years so I know the islands quite well. They’ve got their downsides; possibly a little too wet for some tourists, and a little too cool at certain times of the year for the dedicated sunbather, but they’re paradise for anyone with a love of nature.’

Holly was thinking how, in a few words, he had encapsulated all the differences between them.

‘I’ve been abroad twice in my entire life,’ she told him flatly. ‘Once with my dad to Marbella and once on a school trip to Normandy.’

‘So this should make a pleasant change of scenery,’ Luiz inserted smoothly. ‘I had a planned trip out there to check up on a few details, make sure things are running smoothly. Made sense to bring it forward in light of recent events.’

‘So it would be something of a working holiday for you…’ Holly said slowly, liking the sound of that. ‘How long would we be over there for?’

‘A couple of weeks.’

‘And your empire could do without you for such a long time?’

‘My empire will be fine without me.’

‘Well, I’ve made two separate piles of clothes. I don’t like accepting anything from you…’

‘That’s a given. But…?’

‘But I’ve chosen some stuff. Not much.’

Luiz looked at her heightened colour. He believed her when she said that she hadn’t chosen much. Any other woman would have greedily taken everything on offer.

‘Look, Luiz…’ Holly cleared her throat awkwardly. ‘What happened just then… we have a certain amount of history. Of course, I’m still, well, let’s just say that when a person breaks up it takes a while to recover. When my ex and I…’

‘Not interested.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘We don’t need to put on old records and replay the past. I don’t want to hear about the lingering effects of your break-up with your ex.’ Nor did he want to get into a self-delusional conversation in which she would subtly try to imply that she wasn’t attracted to him.

‘You really don’t have a sentimental bone in your body, do you?’

‘None that I have ever noticed,’ Luiz said coolly. And yet, there had been times after he had left her when the emptiness of his bed had struck something at the very core of him, when the snatch of some silly pop song on the radio had made him switch channels. Had those unconscious signals prompted him to consider Cecelia as marriage material in an attempt to shut the door on Holly whom he had privately seen as unfinished business? Did the mind operate in ways like that? Luiz had always prided himself on a straightforward approach to all issues emotional. Emotions existed, reasons for behaviour existed, but analysing any of that stuff just wasn’t for him. He left that to people with time on their hands and nothing much productive to do with it. So to find himself going down an introspective path was frustrating and he stamped down any inclination to pursue it.

‘Do we leave tomorrow?’

‘First thing.’ He told her about the flight, the times, the connections. For Holly, she could see why he had chosen to bring his trip forward. The island would be impossible to access for any curious reporter. It was as good as it got in terms of privacy.

From her point of view, the thought of him working was good. It helped to remove the nagging sense of guilt that he was prepared to rise to the occasion and alter his tailor-made life in whatever way was necessary, while she stood on the sidelines quibbling and finding reasons to knock him back so that she could tenaciously cling to what she knew. Also, a hotel was good. A hotel implied a certain amount of detachment. She would be able to lose herself amongst other people.

He had told her that he needed to see how things were progressing and she assumed he meant having a look at the books, making sure that a healthy profit was being made. She was under no illusion that whatever he chose to do would be successful. It dawned on her that she had had that opinion of him even when they had been involved with one another. True, then her ideas had been woolly assumptions, but they had still been here. Reality had only confirmed her own impressions.

So, while he checked the profit and loss columns and closeted himself away in meetings with the finance department, she would be able to lose herself in the crowds. All said and done, her experience of foreign destinations was lamentably non-existent. She felt a stirring of excitement.

She switched off as he told her about the technicalities of the trip, reassuring her that his people could sort out all the necessary details. She was vaguely aware of him filling in a few blanks about the various islands, the population, the scenery. Her mind was miles away. She wished she had had some warning of their destination. She would have liked to buy a guide book. Then she guiltily thought that she could hardly be sniffy about accepting some clothes from him whilst bristling with excitement at the prospect of enjoying an all-expenses-paid holiday in the sun. She surfaced to find him looking at her with raised eyebrows.

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