All a Man Is

He couldn’t seem to squelch it, though, damn it. He all but had neon lights in his head flashing, Julia is here, at last!

Trouble was, he’d spent months living for this day.

Waiting for the kids to emerge from the restaurant behind them, the two of them paused. He reluctantly let his hand drop.

“Let’s at least drive by the duplex,” Julia suggested, and after a moment Alec nodded.

He wasn’t looking forward to showing her, never mind the kids, their new home. Compared to the one they’d left, it wasn’t very impressive.

Julia, of course, had seen photos online and knew it didn’t match the charm of the Spanish-style stucco bungalow she had bought when she moved the kids to L.A. from San Diego after Josh’s death. There were charming houses in Angel Butte, of course, but once Alec saw the duplex for sale, he’d been so struck by the advantages of them living side by side, he’d called her to see what she thought. The idea of sharing the cost had appealed to her, too, he suspected; being able to hold on to some of the money she’d made from selling her house eased the urgency of her job hunt. She could take her time and find something she really liked. Down the line, they had agreed, they might keep the duplex as a rental property.

Dinner had been at a chain restaurant where the kids already knew what they wanted to eat. Alec was less enthusiastic, but he’d seen how exhausted Julia was and knew a fancier meal would be wasted on her. Besides, this place shared a parking lot with the hotel where he’d booked a room for her and the kids. The hotel wasn’t anything special, but it was clean and decent and had a swimming pool. He had known without asking that she wouldn’t accept if he offered to put them up at one of the area’s nicer, lakefront resorts. She had become increasingly prickly about money, probably because she worried about depending on him too much. Alec had enough pride himself to admire the same quality in others.

“I’ll drive,” he said, leading the way to his Chevy Tahoe. After flying here in February for the initial job interview and getting stuck for an extra day because of a snowstorm, he’d known his Camaro wouldn’t do. It was time, even if he hadn’t needed four-wheel drive. He’d wanted a vehicle suitable for a family. Now he felt satisfaction as the kids clambered into the back and Julia hoisted herself into the front seat.

If only they were his family rather than his brother’s.

“Your Camaro was so cool,” Matt said from the backseat. “But this is okay, I guess,” he conceded grudgingly.

Alec grinned at him in the rearview mirror. “Thank you.” He glanced at Julia. “We’ll take a spin through downtown, which is a lot more attractive than this stretch.” He explained that the commercial strip had grown up outside the city limits until a fairly recent annexation changed that. He didn’t figure they needed to hear about the headaches that annexation had brought to an understaffed police department. Once he’d been on board long enough to see the big picture, he had begun an aggressive campaign to increase funding for the department. He didn’t much like his boss, Mayor Noah Chandler, but had to concede Chandler was backing every budget demand he’d made to the city council.

He drove down the main street, once the traditional downtown when Angel Butte’s population had been a third of its current size. The hardware store, dry cleaner’s and newspaper office had retreated to side streets; the false-fronted buildings here now housed trendy bistros, boutiques, galleries and sporting-goods stores. The economy had become heavily dependent on tourism. From what he’d been told, the change had happened so quickly, old-timers were still in shock.

Thus, he figured sardonically, the reluctance to admit a small-town police department was no longer adequate.

He pointed out the redbrick public-safety building where he worked and the historic courthouse with a wing that housed city hall. They detoured by the middle school, bland as schools built in the 1970s usually were, and then the more modern elementary school where Liana would go.

Finally, he drove past the upscale part of Old Town where people with money lived, and then to the neighborhood of modest ramblers where the worker bees felt lucky to own homes. The duplex he’d bought was on a corner, which gave it a slightly larger-than-average lot, but he hadn’t done anything yet that could be called landscaping. Right now, a lawn with sun-browned patches surrounded it. A few overgrown shrubs crowded front windows. The only thing he had done to the exterior was to have the place painted, going for a dark green with cream-colored trim.

He pulled into the driveway on his side of the duplex, set the emergency brake and turned off the engine. In silence, all four of them stared at the forty-year-old rambler clearly built as a rental. Each side had a single-car garage. Two concrete walkways led from the sidewalk to the identical front doors.

Matt broke the silence. “You’re kidding.”

“This is only temporary,” Julia said uneasily. “You know that. Having Alec right next to us is ideal.”

He cleared his throat. “It’s a good neighborhood. Liana can walk to school. You can get almost anywhere in town on your bikes.”

He’d actually considered a place outside of town so Matt wouldn’t be able to get anywhere on his own, but that had other drawbacks.

“Can we see inside?” Julia asked, unhooking her seat belt.

“Sure,” he said, sounding hearty and phony even to his own ears. They got out and approached the door on the side he’d decided would be theirs. He made a business of taking the key from his ring and giving it to Julia. “Uh...it’s pretty bare-bones still,” he warned.

He was glad they hadn’t seen it before the work was done. He’d discovered that beneath the badly worn brown carpet were hardwood floors. Instead of replacing the carpet, he’d had the oak refinished to a glossy sheen. Bathrooms on both sides had new vinyl floors and shiny new fixtures. Julia knew he’d had the floors refinished, but not about the bathrooms, and he had no intention of telling her the duplex hadn’t come this way.

The kitchens he hadn’t touched yet, on his side because he hadn’t been home enough to bother, and on Julia’s side because he figured she would have her own ideas about what she wanted to do.

They moved over the threshold in a clump, even Matt sticking close to his mother. There was no entryway to speak of; the front door let straight into a cramped living room with white walls and a white-painted brick fireplace. The floors looked damn good, if he did say so, but Alec still winced at the comparison with the living room in the house Julia had just sold. It had had a bay window, glass-fronted built-ins, high ceilings and open, dark wood beams.

“There are three bedrooms,” he said, “but only one bathroom.”

“We’re going to have to schedule morning showers,” Julia said lightly.

They all peered into the bedrooms, two of them the standard ten-foot-by-twelve-foot boxes with inadequate closets. The master bedroom was only slightly larger.

He saw Julia breathe a sigh of relief when she saw the bathroom.

“Brace yourself,” he said in a low voice just before they reached the kitchen with some extra floor space optimistically designated as dining area.

Dark brown Formica countertops went with the ugly dark cabinets, which were scarred in places. The flooring was a dated orange-and-yellow vinyl that at least was in good shape.

“You should have let me have this remodeled before you got here,” Alec said, feeling inadequate as he watched them inspect their new home.

Despite her tiredness, Julia appeared undaunted now that she’d seen the worst. She smiled at him. “We’ll eat with you while the kitchen is torn apart.”

“Mine’s no better,” he admitted, looking around. “I bought new appliances, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten.”

“It’ll be fun,” she insisted.

The kids stared in disbelief. Even Liana seemed shell-shocked. Matt had an expression Alec didn’t like. There was something a little smug about it, as if he’d hoped the new home sucked. Did he imagine his mother would turn tail and retreat to L.A.?

“Who wants which bedroom?” she asked gaily, as if the two rooms weren’t virtually identical.

“I call first choice!” Liana declared, racing back toward the bedrooms.

“Like, who cares?” her brother said disagreeably, but he thundered after her anyway.

“Hey.” Seeing Julia’s expression, Alec violated his own rules and wrapped his hands around her upper arms. “You okay?”

Her laugh broke. “I’ll recover. The drive was horrible. The only time they quit squabbling was when Matt was sulking. Liana was almost as bad. She sobbed when we drove away from our house. She was sure she’d never see her friends again.”

“She may not,” he said softly.

Her face crumpled. “I know. Oh, God, Alec. Did we do the right thing?”

He wanted to promise her they had, that Angel Butte was the idyllic town they’d hoped for, but he was beginning to wonder if there was any such thing. He’d grown up in Southern California, used to the tangle of overcrowded freeways and the yellow light of smoggy mornings. He wondered guiltily what her Minnesota hometown looked like.

“I think so,” he said, unable to resist a gentle squeeze before he had to let her go. “It’s not like Liana knew her friends that long. Maybe moving so soon after the last time is hard on them, but I have to think doing it quickly is better than waiting.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry the house is so, uh, unprepossessing.”

“What?” She lifted her face to his, surprise in those extraordinary eyes. “Don’t be silly. The duplex looks like it did in pictures, except better. You’ve had more work done than you admitted to, haven’t you?”

He didn’t say anything. Normally careful to keep his distance, he hadn’t been this close to her since he’d held her after the funeral. Her skin, tanned to a pale gold, was as smooth as a child’s, her lashes surprisingly long without any help from mascara. Her upper lip had an unusually deep dip in it that made him think of the pretty mouths painted on dolls.

If he bent his head just a little...

Her eyes widened at whatever she saw on his face.

Clenching his jaw, he released her.

“What if I keep Matt tonight?” he asked. “I’ve got one of the bedrooms set up as a spare.”

“Really? You’d do that? Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”

“Yes, but I could drop him at the hotel on my way. We could all have breakfast at the Denny’s there.”

“I would love that,” she admitted. “I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been having distinctly unmaternal thoughts about him.”

Having regained his self-control after a brief but significant battle, Alec was able to laugh. “How shocking. And this was the first time?”

She chuckled, a delicious ripple of sound. “Okay. You’re right. There have been a few previous moments I’d have put him up on Craigslist if I thought I’d get any offers.”

“It’s a phase. He’ll get over it.” Alec hoped.

Julia smiled. “They’re fighting again.”

“Then let’s go separate them.”

“Okay, but first—” She astonished him by stepping closer to kiss his cheek. She was blushing when she sank back to her heels, but her eyes held his. “Thank you. I can’t tell you what this means to me, so I won’t even try. But I want you to know—”

He shook his head and took a chance, placing his finger over her lips, feeling them quiver. “No. I love those kids, too. If you’d taken them away, it would have destroyed me.”

For a moment they only looked at each other, their defenses lower than usual. He hoped she couldn’t see the part he didn’t say: losing her would have destroyed him, too.

Especially losing her.

“How come you get the biggest room?” his nephew said, startling Alec, who hadn’t noticed the kids coming back into the kitchen.

Alec leveled a stare at the kid. “Because she’s the adult and pays the bills.”

Matt contented himself with rolling his eyes.

“Uncle Alec suggested you spend the night with him,” Julia said, her tone neutral.

The boy shrugged and ducked his head. “I guess that’s okay,” he mumbled.

Not exactly enthusiastic, but close enough.

Alec studied Matt, sorry to see that he hadn’t grown to speak of in recent months. He’d been a shrimp at this age, too, a curse he had especially resented because Josh, two years older and therefore taller at every stage anyway, had grown steadily all along. The height and physical-maturity issue might have something to do with Matt’s behavior, if he’d been trying to convince his buddies that he was big and bad, too.

He was a good-looking kid, though, with the same dark hair and eyes as his dad and Alec. Alec could see Josh in his face, more square-jawed and less angular than Alec’s face. The shape of his eyes came from Julia, though.

“Then let’s take your mom and Liana to the hotel.”

His eyes narrowed and that square jaw jutted out. “Wait. Then they can go swimming and I can’t.”

Julia looked at Alec, a hint of panic in her eyes.

“It’s late,” he said. “The swim can wait until tomorrow.”

Matt grumbled during the entire drive back to the hotel. Alec contemplated how his own father would have dealt with that kind of back talk. Maybe there was something to be said for old-school parenting.

Saying good-night took only a few minutes. Julia had checked into her room earlier but their suitcases were still in the trunk of her car. Alec walked her and Liana into the lobby and watched them get onto an elevator. He couldn’t make himself move until the elevator doors closed and cut off his last sight of her. Then he went back out into the warm night, where Matt waited by the Tahoe.

Alec unlocked the doors. “Long drive, huh?”

He was treated to more bitching. Why did they have to drive? Even if Mom wanted to, she could have let them fly. Or hired someone to drive the car here.

“Every time I played my iPod, she made me turn down the volume. What difference does it make to her how loud my music is?”

“Do you know what you sound like every time you talk about your mom?”

Matt gave a one-shoulder shrug that said louder than words, Who cares?

“My father would have taken his belt to my backside if I’d talked about my mother that way.”

“You don’t know what she’s like.”

“I know your mother pretty well,” Alec said mildly.

“You just think you do,” Mattie sneered.

Alec signaled to turn into his driveway. “You make life pretty unpleasant for everyone around you when you act this way.”

Matt turned his head away. “So, who cares? You don’t have to see me. I wish you’d just let us stay in L.A. Why’d we have to move, too?”

“Because it was the right thing for all of us as a family.” Alec turned off the engine. Laying his forearm across the steering wheel, he turned enough to look at his nephew. Into the silence, he said, “Your mom and I talked to you about it.”

“I was happy there.”

“No, you weren’t.” Alec let his voice harden. “A happy thirteen-year-old boy doesn’t get drunk. He doesn’t shoplift or get in fights at school. I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile. Happy kids smile.”

Matt flashed him a dark look. “I smile with my friends. When I had friends. Which I don’t now, thanks to you. And her.”

“You’ll make new ones.” Alec watched him, then shook his head. “Come on, let’s grab your stuff.”

Maybe he should have saved the lecture. He’d become the enemy now, too. But damn it, he wasn’t willing to tolerate such disrespect for Julia, either.

They walked into Alec’s side of the duplex. Matt looked around. “At least you have a TV.”

He wanted to say, So does the hotel room, but he’d seen the relief on Julia’s face when Matt had agreed to sleep here, and nothing would make him return her demon spawn to her tonight.

“How’d your grades end up?” he asked casually, although he already knew.

Matt had the sullen shrug down pat.

“I hope you plan to try here, Mattie.”

The boy rounded on him like a cornered badger. His eyes glittered. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’ve called you that for years.”

“I’m not some dumb little kid anymore.”

Alec let his eyebrows climb. “Your dad called you Mattie.”

“You’re not my father!” the boy spat.

He needed a second to be sure he could respond calmly. “No. But I loved Josh, and I love you.”

Matt stared down at his toes.

“Matt it is,” Alec said after a moment. “Come on. You’re the first person to sleep in the guest room.”

Leading the way, he heard a muttered “Oh, wow.”

Man, Alec hoped the kid wasn’t as big a shit to everyone else as he was to his mother and now him. To the people who had authority over him, it occurred to Alec. Didn’t bode well for teachers or coaches.

Grimacing, he had to wonder if Matt would make friends in Angel Butte. Even the way he dressed was going to stand out. Around here, boys his age didn’t wear pants with the crotch hanging down around their knees and T-shirts three sizes too big. Alec hoped there wasn’t already a tattoo hidden where his mother hadn’t seen it, but where the other boys would in the locker room. Maybe not every kid at the middle school here in Angel Butte would be wholesome, but they tended to put up a better front.

Sooner or later, he and Matt would be having a serious talk about what was and wasn’t acceptable. Alec could hardly wait.

“Why don’t you come out to the kitchen once you’re settled?” he suggested.

He was treated to the sight of the bedroom door shutting in his face.

CHAPTER TWO

AT HIS FIRST SIGHT of people clustered at the base of the Public Safety Building’s front steps, Alec’s mood darkened.

And he’d been feeling unusually good, too; how could he not, having started his day over the breakfast table with Julia and the kids?

He pocketed his car keys, mentally braced himself and strode forward. If he wasn’t mistaken, that was a press conference, and no one had told him. He was even less pleased when he spotted, as the focus of the small crowd, Captain Colin McAllister, who worked immediately under him heading investigation and support services. McAllister had served as acting police chief until Alec’s arrival and really should have been given the job permanently. His resentment had never been a secret, although he saved most of it for Mayor Noah Chandler, who had blocked his hiring.

Alec had really enjoyed watching Chandler fall for McAllister’s sister. Neither of the men had been very happy about the prospect of becoming family.

Now McAllister stood on the top step, surrounded by microphones. He wore a well-cut suit and was listening to a question with his head slightly bent.

But damn, Alec was going to be pissed if McAllister had some big news he’d chosen not to share with him before holding an attention-grabbing press conference.

Closer up, he saw that some of the crowd were police department employees and passersby, drawn by curiosity. His experienced eye identified a pair of reporters, one with the Bend Bulletin and the other with the Angel Butte Reporter. A third might be a stringer for the Oregonian out of Portland, and, more annoyingly, a huge TV camera from a local news channel was there and filming.

As he neared, he couldn’t help noticing that McAllister’s expression was not expansive.

“Mayor Chandler has endorsed me,” he said with the tone of a man repeating himself. “Feel free to take your questions to him.”

Jim Henning from the Reporter caught sight of Alec. He swung away from McAllister. “Chief Raynor!” They all turned to him, faces avid.

Feeling like fresh meat, Alec took the stairs until he was at his captain’s side. “I wasn’t aware of any excitement this morning.”

“Word has been leaked that the mayor blacklisted Captain McAllister as a candidate for the position of police chief. Were you aware of his action?”

Alec flicked his captain a sidelong glance. McAllister spread the fingers of one hand in a subtle what the hell? gesture.

“I was aware,” he said.

“And yet you and he both have endorsed Captain McAllister for county sheriff,” Henning said.

“That’s correct.” He looked from face to face. “May I ask who leaked this information?”

The stringer from the Oregonian answered. “The tip came from Sheriff Brock’s campaign manager.” He sounded slightly sardonic. In not quite three months on the job, Alec had already heard plenty of stories about the incumbent sheriff, who was certainly incompetent and very probably corrupt.

“I see. As I believe Captain McAllister has already suggested, you might want to take your questions to the mayor.”

“You must know Mayor Chandler’s reasoning,” Jim Henning shot back.

Damn it. He hesitated, debating whether to stonewall the question or not. “I do know,” he said finally, “and I can tell you honestly that if I had been in the mayor’s position, I would have hired Captain McAllister. I have only the highest respect for his expertise as a law-enforcement officer, his leadership ability and his integrity.”

He smiled crookedly. “I’d have been the loser, of course, so I can’t altogether regret the decision. That said, I’m aware of the frustration many sheriff’s deputies feel with inadequate equipment and salaries, a substandard crime lab and a lack of support from the top. It’s my belief Captain McAllister is exactly what this county needs to upgrade the department. As chief of the county’s largest city, I look forward to working closely with him once he becomes sheriff.”

He held up a hand. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, the two of us are currently employed by the city.” He eyed them. “Since I assume you’re heading to city hall next, I wouldn’t want you reporting to the mayor that we’re doing nothing but hanging around chatting with all of you.”

There was general laughter. Ignoring shouted questions that were more of the same, he and McAllister entered the building.

“Why don’t you come on up to my office?” he suggested.

Without saying a word, the captain stepped onto the elevator with him, got off with him and accompanied him down the hall to the door that said Police Chief in shiny gold script.

His assistant greeted them and brought two cups of coffee before Alec had even sat down behind his desk. The moment the door closed behind her, McAllister growled, “That son of a bitch.”

“Brock?”

“Who else?”

Alec felt a spark of humor. “You might have been talking about Chandler.”

Colin sprawled into a chair. “That works, too.” He brooded for a moment. “He’s okay.”

“Your sister seems to have mellowed him some.”

He grunted.

“Do you think there’s any chance Chandler’s responsible for this leak?”

“No.” A half smile lifted Colin’s mouth. “I didn’t ask for his endorsement, you know. He offered it.”

“He could very easily give with one hand and then take back with the other,” Alec pointed out.

Colin gave a bark of laughter. “Cait would geld him if she found he’d done something like that.”

Alec had to grin.

“No,” Colin repeated. “I didn’t like his decision not to support me to take over the department here in Angel Butte, but I do understand it. He didn’t try to hide what he’d done or why. No question he can be ruthless, but he’s not underhanded.”

Alec mulled that over for a minute. He didn’t know Noah Chandler as well as McAllister did, but finally he nodded his agreement. “You’re right. He’s been honest with me. He didn’t want to hire me, either, you know.”

He wasn’t quite sure why he was telling McAllister this, but the time felt right.

Colin’s eyebrows rose. “No, I didn’t. Why not?”

“Apparently he’d chosen a candidate who was already doing essentially this job and wanted to move up to a larger city. Chandler didn’t believe I had the administrative or political experience required.”

“Guess he was wrong.”