Second Chance Dad

Beth cut through the circle of chairs and handed her a cup of coffee. “Double creamer, two sugars. Maybe a sugar high and a little caffeine will help.”

Gratefully accepting the coffee, Sophie rolled her eyes. “Only if it can work some magic on what’s in this envelope from the Two Lakes Medical Center. It’s the one application I haven’t heard back on yet. I brought the letter because I just couldn’t bear to open it at home alone, and didn’t want to open it in front of Eli, either. He’s already worrying about leaving here.”

Flipping the folder open, she lifted the top envelope from a stack of ten recent rejections and handed it to Keeley. “You read it. I just can’t.”

Keeley darted a worried look at the others, then held the envelope in her hands for a moment before sliding a fingernail under the flap. She withdrew the document. Opened it slowly. After scanning it, she looked at Sophie, her eyes filling with even greater sympathy. “I…”

“It’s okay.” Sophie sagged into her chair. “I wasn’t expecting good news.”

“But wait—” Keeley smoothed the paper out with her hand. “They do say—right down here—that they’ve had a hiring freeze since January, and they’ll keep your application on file. That’s good, isn’t it? Maybe someone will go on a long maternity leave.”

“Or fly to the moon.” Sophie shook off her glum thoughts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t come here to moan about my problems. Maybe something will open up after my county job ends. And it’s a beautiful morning, right? It’s time to think positive.”

Keeley offered a bright smile. “If you need extra work, I could give you some hours at my store. Edna keeps saying she’s going to retire.”

“Edna has been saying that since she turned eighty, and what I know about antiques would fit in her little finger,” Sophie said drily. “But either way, thanks for the offer.”

“And I could use some extra hours here now that Elana is in school full-time,” Beth added.

“You guys are the best. I mean that.” Sophie dissolved into helpless laughter. “But you really don’t need me, and I refuse to be a burden to any of you.”

Olivia’s forehead creased in a worried frown. “But what will you do?”

Keeley handed the letter back, and Sophie put it in the folder with all the rest of her fading dreams. “I’ve tried every possible community hospital and clinic within a fifty-mile radius. I…guess I’ll just have to keep checking back with all of them. And I’ll also need to start looking much farther away.”

“Don’t give up, sweetie. Things will work out.”

Sophie thought of leaving the sweet little cottage she and her late husband, Rob, had bought just before his death two years ago. Then she thought of her crotchety grandpa, who refused to take care of his health or move from his little house in the woods, on the edge of town. And the teachers, who were gently helping her seven-year-old son learn to function better, despite his very mild form of Asperger’s.

This was the town she loved. The one that held poignant memories of happier times.

But sentiment wouldn’t pay her mortgage and school loans, or put food on the table, and Eli deserved better than having a mom who worked six days a week for minimum wage and who left him at his grandparents’ house way too much. And once her dad and stepmom moved to Florida this fall, what then? Paying full price for child care would be almost impossible on her tight budget.

Keeley flopped back in her chair and scooped her long, honey-blond hair back with both hands. “If you have to leave, things will never be the same. We’ll miss you so much!”

Beth nodded. “If that happens, we’ll take road trips. We’ll come visit once a month, if you can stand us.”

“Or at least we can stay in touch via iChat or Skype, so we can see each other,” Olivia added. “You’ll feel like you never even left home.”

The lilting notes of Bach’s “Solfegietto” rang merrily from the depths of Sophie’s purse, which meant she now owed a dollar to the coffee fund jar.

“Sorry—I thought I’d turned it off.”

“Answer it,” Keeley said, looking up from a book in her lap with a grin. “No penalty. We haven’t even started yet.” At the unfamiliar phone number on the screen Sophie hesitated, then answered anyway…and at the woman’s greeting she felt her heart lodge firmly in her throat.

“Sophie Alexander? This is Grace Dearborn. I need to speak to you right away.”

Sophie wearily leaned back in her desk chair and rubbed the back of her neck.

On Monday and Tuesday she’d traveled the county to meet nine of her homebound patients and begin taking over their physical therapy sessions. Some of the older ones had taken a good look at her, then asked when the real therapist—that older gentleman—would be coming back. Some appeared too frail to be capable of significant progress, while others had been testy and uncooperative.

Kindly Dr. McLaren had practically booted her out of the door.

But during last Saturday’s phone call, Grace Dearborn had been crystal clear again about her expectations, and had expressed specific concerns about the fact that Sophie hadn’t yet convinced McLaren to resume therapy.

Pointing out that the man had a perfect right to refuse any and all forms of medical care hadn’t impressed Grace in the least, and she hadn’t wavered a bit in her personal interest in his case, either.

Sophie glanced at her watch, then powered her laptop down and sighed. Worries about the future had fluttered through her thoughts like a legion of bats all night long.

Unable to sleep, she’d been on the internet since four o’clock in the morning searching for areas in the Twin Cities offering affordable housing, hospitals and rehabilitation centers close by, and school districts with good support systems for kids with disabilities.

She had no plans to fail at the challenges here in Aspen Creek, but it only made sense to look ahead. Motherhood and some of the mistakes she’d made in the past had driven that point home more than once.

Her stomach twisted. How would Eli fare if he had to move away from this familiar little town and the only home he’d known? Change was so difficult for him…

“Mom?”

At the sound of his drowsy voice, she turned toward the door of her bedroom, her heart catching on a burst of love. He was nearly eight now, his dark eyes and near-black hair a gift from his biological dad’s Greek heritage, though he had her light complexion. He was so very young to have experienced so many tough times.

Some days, it seemed as though they went from one meltdown to the next, sometimes leading to scenes in public that drew unwanted attention. Eli didn’t have the self-awareness to see it now, but if he ever did understand how different he was from other children, what then? Where was the fairness in life?

“Bad dreams?” She welcomed him into her arms as he flew across the room and wrapped his arms around her, nearly knocking her over.

She could feel his tear-streaked cheek against her neck and knew he’d been crying, probably over his father again, because the night of Rob’s death had been a true nightmare and one neither of them could forget. He hiccuped softly, his small body clinging to hers as if just an embrace wasn’t enough.

Her eyes burned. There were so many bad people in the world. People who murdered and cheated and stole; people with no apparent shred of honor or decency.

And yet, God had taken one of the good guys—a quiet, unassuming friend who had quietly stepped into her life when Eli’s real father dumped her and disappeared before Eli was even born. Rob had been a gentle, loving father, and a faithful husband.

Maybe their relationship hadn’t been the stuff of fairy tales and head-over-heels love, but that was only found in novels anyway. Even without the hot flame of romance, they’d still shared a good life together, and had been kind and caring to each other. Good friends. Companionship. What more did anyone need?

With hard work and big dreams they’d bought their cottage in Aspen Creek and had been looking ahead to a secure future. The family structure had been stable. Dependable. Predictable—which had been so important for Eli’s day-to-day routine.

And then Rob was gone.

“Dad died and we couldn’t stop it,” Eli whispered brokenly. “Even the EMTs couldn’t make him better. They’re ’sposed to fix people, not let them die.”

She’d healed over the past two years, but now the old fracture of her heart deepened a little more. “That’s not true, sweetheart. They didn’t let your dad die. It was out of their control. Even if he’d been in the biggest, fanciest hospital, the doctors probably couldn’t have saved him.” The words tasted like sawdust, but she marshaled a comforting smile and soldiered on. “Someday, I might meet the right man, and then you’ll have a daddy to do things with you again. Would you like that?”

He gave her a blank look. “I just want my real dad back.”

“I know. We’ve talked about this before, sweetheart. But that just isn’t possible.”

“A new one could die, too.”

Yesterday had been the last day of school, and traditionally it was also Bring Dad to Lunch Day—probably so the dads could help lug everything home from crammed desks and work folders.

She hadn’t been the only mom there, by far. But Eli had watched with a lonely expression as the other boys and their fathers teased and roughhoused, and he’d barely noticed that she was there.

“You had Todd, and he went away.” His voice wobbled.

She closed her eyes briefly, wishing she could undo the selfish choice she’d made a few months ago. She’d thought she was ready for a little casual dating, but it hadn’t taken more than a few weeks of seeing Todd on Saturday evenings before she realized how wrong she was about herself, and how thoughtless she’d been.

The greatest impact had been on Eli, who still missed his father even more than she’d realized.

Todd had mostly ignored him, though that might have been for the best. He’d been impatient with Eli’s lack of coordination, and when the three of them went on a picnic, the man had been irritated by Eli’s constant chatter about the Harley he’d seen in the parking lot.

Change had always been difficult for Eli—the brief presence of a new man in Sophie’s life had unsettled him; the abrupt departure had affected him just as much.

Agitated, he’d pelted her with questions when she told him that Todd wouldn’t be coming back, and then he’d retreated to his room for hours and immersed himself in his growing stack of books on Harley-Davidson motorcycles. He’d even refused to come out for supper that night.

“Why?”

Eli’s question jerked her out of her thoughts and back into the present. “Todd and I just weren’t a good match.”

Not even close, given his growing curiosity about her financial situation. Surely you got a whopping settlement after your husband died, he’d marveled with a gleam in his eyes. She’d already been worried about his callous behavior toward Eli, and she’d ended their relationship instantly after that.

“But why?”

“We just weren’t…compatible,” she said. “We…didn’t like the same things. You are the biggest blessing in my life, Eli. No one could ever hope for a better son.” And a man who can’t see that will never have a place in my life. Period.

“But…” His voice trailed off, his flash of hope clearly fading away. “He told me he was gonna get a motorcycle.”

“I don’t think he did, honey. But don’t worry, sweetheart. Things always work out for the best. And you’ll always have your grandma and two grandpas and me.”

He pulled away and looked up at her, his expression stark. “But you could die and they could, too,” he insisted. “You’re all old.”

She coughed to cover a startled laugh. Old? So that’s what this was about—his ongoing worry about everyone else in his family dying, too.

“Your dad had a very rare problem. Remember? An aneurysm the doctors couldn’t fix. It doesn’t mean the rest of us will die like that.” Hollow words, when the child had seen the frantic efforts of the EMTs in their living room, and then had paced the waiting room of the hospital with her while Rob was in surgery. “I’m only twenty-nine and your grandparents are in their sixties. We could all live to a hundred.”

His gaze skated to the family portrait on the wall, then he dropped his head. “But an aneurysm could kill anyone and you wouldn’t know it until you were dead. If it happened to Dad, it could get you and me and Grandpa, too.”

“I hope not. But let’s talk about something else. Okay? You look so tired. Can I tuck you in for an extra hour before we need to leave for Grandpa’s house?”

He usually refused to go back to bed when he awoke too early, then got overtired and more wound up over inconsequential things as the day went on. But now he stifled a yawn as he stepped away from her embrace, trudged back to his bedroom and climbed into bed.

She followed, to kiss his cheek and tuck the covers around him. “I know things are difficult to understand, Eli…. but I’m really, really proud of you. And I love you more than I could ever, ever say. We’ll always have each other. I promise.”

She stepped out of his bedroom, left the door partially open, then went down the hall to her own bedroom where the wedding picture on the bureau caught her eye.

She sighed and rested her forehead against the door frame. If you hadn’t had to leave us things would be so different now. I tried hard in school, and I think I would have made you proud. But now we’re going to lose this house that you loved so much. I wish…

But wishes didn’t change anything and her prayers hadn’t, either…and her one attempt at dating since Rob’s death had been a disaster.

From here on out, she was on her own.

Sophie stepped out of her ancient car to retrieve the backpack from the passenger side of the front seat, then opened Eli’s door.

“Here you go, honey. Remember, I might be home late this evening, but Grandpa and Grandma said the three of you can have a bonfire out back and toast marshmallows. Would you like that?”

He looked up at her with somber eyes. “Will we have to move?”

With Eli, conversations often took unexpected turns right back to his favorite topics, but even now his focus on his inner world sometimes surprised her.

“I hope not.”

“But you were looking at houses. On the internet. In Minneapolis.”

He’d been reading at the third grade level by early kindergarten, and she was reminded once again that though his mild Asperger’s impacted his interactions with others, he was extremely bright and perceptive, and keeping things from him wasn’t easy.

“I was looking, yes. Just in case. It could be a really big adventure—like explorers in a whole new land! But if we’re lucky, we can stay right here.”

“What about Grandma Margie and Grandpa Dean? And Gramps?”

“If we move, they’ll come visit. Maybe Gramps will even move with us.” The probability of her grandfather doing that was roughly the same as a blizzard in July, but she could still hope.

She gave Eli a quick hug “I love you. And I promise—things will work out.”

“Love you, too.” Still, he looked unconvinced about the future as he hooked his backpack filled with motorcycle books on one shoulder and trudged up the long sidewalk to the front door.

With lush flower beds overflowing with impatiens in pinks, violets and snowy-white, the little bungalow was pretty as a dollhouse with its white picket fence, crisp blue shutters and crimson door.

“There’s Grandma at the front door waiting for you, honey,” she called out when Margie stepped onto the front porch. “Good morning!”

“Well, look who’s here—my favorite grandson,” the older woman exclaimed. “Have you had breakfast yet?”

Eli nodded stoically, accepted her hug, then slipped past her to go inside where she would fuss and hover and ply him with offers of his favorite breakfast items anyway.

Margie made her way down the sidewalk and rested her hands on the picket fence gate, her expression troubled.

Trim and attractive at sixty, she never stepped out of her house without being dressed well, her jewelry and makeup on, her soft platinum curls perfectly coiffed. Even now, she looked as if she could be heading for a ladies tea instead of babysitting her only grandson for the day.

“Are you still looking at other job options?” she asked.

“With regret.”

“I just hate to think of you and Eli being off in some city two long hours away, where we can’t see you every day. He’ll really miss being here, you know.”

“So will I. But I do have a job for the summer, and there’s a chance it could be permanent. Anyway,” Sophie added gently, “you and my dad will soon be moving to Florida.”

“We’re still discussing it,” Margie said. “We’d go for just the winters, if I had my way. But he’s still wanting to go year-round. And you know your dad. It’s his way—”

“—or the highway.” Sophie smiled faintly at their familiar exchange.

Over the past twelve years the two of them had never become close, but no one could deny that Margie tried to be a good wife, and that she’d accepted Eli with all of the love of a biological grandma.

And now that Sophie’s mom was gone, ensuring that Eli had the love and support of his grandfather and stepgrandma was more important than hanging on to hurt and anger over the illicit affair and subsequent divorce that had broken her mother’s heart.

“It’s been great, being able to leave Eli here while I commuted to school and worked at the restaurant. But soon you’ll be enjoying those warm, sunny winters down south.”

“Warm weather or being a part of our grandson’s life. There’s no contest in my mind.” Margie sighed. “But you’re right. Dean worked hard all his life, and that’s something he always wanted.”

“Just think of all the fun you’ll have. When you two aren’t on a golf course, you can be lying on a beach.”

“It isn’t good to be far from family. Not when you’re older. Things can happen…” Margie pressed her lips together.

Sophie felt a flash of alarm. “Is something wrong? Are you and Dad okay?”

“Yes. Definitely.” Margie waved her hands in airy dismissal. “No worries. But you’re right, of course. You need a career, wherever you can find the best options, and if there’s nothing for you here, then you need to move on.”

Determination washed through Sophie as she thought of the challenging days ahead. There could be something for her here. A career with good benefits, and the cottage that she and Eli loved. Good schools. Good friends.

A secure life.

As long as Josh McLaren didn’t stand in her way.

Chapter Three

Heavy rain had fallen all night and most of today, so the lane down to the highway was probably impassible. But even though the rain showed no signs of letting up, Josh had no choice.

Bear had finished off the last of his kibble this morning, and from his sorrowful expression as he followed Josh around the cabin and his mournful glances at the crumpled dog food sack at the front door, he was worried about his supper.

“You win, but you’re gonna get your feet wet,” Josh said with a sigh as he grabbed his cane in his left hand. “And we both know how much you love that.”

Out on the porch, the dog balked on the first step and looked out at the rain.

“Better now than after nightfall, buddy. C’mon.”

Traversing the short, wiry grass of the clearing surrounding the cabin was difficult on a sunny day, given the uneven ground and the weakness and instability of Josh’s right knee.

Today, with rain-slick grass underfoot, Bear instinctively walked next to him, his shaggy body pressing against Josh’s weak leg.

By the time Josh managed to open the door of the shed, toss a blanket across the front seat of the pickup and usher Bear into the cab, escalating pain radiated through his lower back, and his knee threatened to buckle with each slight movement.

The dog watched as Josh carefully sat on the edge of the seat, slowly lifted his bad leg and winced as he swiveled into position behind the wheel.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were telling me ‘I told you so,’” Josh said on a long sigh as he leaned against the headrest for a moment, waiting for the pain to subside.

But agreeing to physical therapy wouldn’t help. It never had—and that last therapist had even made things worse. The perky little therapist Grace kept sending out wouldn’t be any more successful than the ones she’d sent before.

If Grace hadn’t been an old college classmate of his mother’s, he would’ve quit being polite about her ongoing efforts a long time ago.

Bear gave a low woof.

“You’re a traitor, you know.” Josh reached over to ruffle his thick coat. “Falling for Sophie’s dog treats is not a positive measure of your integrity.”

As usual, Bear overflowed his half of the bench seat of the truck. Now, he awkwardly turned around and lay down, his feet slipping and sliding on the leather seat, until his tail pressed against Josh’s thigh and his head was propped against the passenger side door.

He didn’t respond.

“Great. I do this for you, and you’re sulking. I told you it was rainy outside,” Josh said with a laugh as he shifted the truck into reverse. “See if I brave the elements the next time you want to go to town.”

The long gravel lane down to the highway had partially washed out down by the creek, where a culvert under the road hadn’t been able to handle the deluge, and only slippery mud remained. How had Sophie managed to make it up to his cabin in her old Taurus, earlier this afternoon?

If nothing else, she was certainly one determined woman.

By the time he reached the highway, he’d had to circumvent several impassable areas by veering up into the brush at the side of the lane, his truck was splattered with mud, and he was already regretting the decision to head for town.

He pulled into the grocery store parking lot and pocketed his keys, thankful that the rain had now finally slowed to a chilly drizzle.

There were a number of trucks pulled up in front of the coffee shop a few doors down, and there’d been several down at the feed store where a lot of the older guys often sat around drinking coffee. A group of teenagers heading into the grocery store were the only pedestrians in sight.

Josh grabbed his cane and carefully climbed out of the truck, ignoring the searing pain arrowing down his spine. Protecting his weak knee, he eyed the distance to the door. No more than twenty or thirty feet. He could make it, easily.

One of the teenagers turned back, surveyed his progress and gave him a pitying stare, then spun around and joined her friends, their chatter and high-pitched laughter ending abruptly as the automatic double doors closed behind them.

Fifteen feet.

Ten.

Gritting his teeth, he reached the building and the doors whooshed open in front of him. Another few steps and he could steady himself with a grocery cart, pick up the dog food and the few things he needed for himself, and be on his way—

Ahead, he saw a petite, auburn-haired woman zip around a corner with a grocery basket slung over one arm. Sophie. Why did she have to be here now?

He groaned, pasted a strained smile on his face and made himself straighten up.

A muscle spasmed in his back. His balance faltered, sending his foot skidding on the slick, wet tiles of the entryway. In one dizzying moment, he saw the floor rush up to meet him.

And then stars exploded inside his skull.

A teenager shrieked. Footsteps thundered down the aisle by the front door. Sophie froze for a split second, then dropped her basket of groceries and spun around to the end cap of the aisle. Four—no, five girls were standing around someone sitting on the floor.

An all too-familiar oak cane with a carved handle lay on the floor nearby.

Lois, a pudgy, middle-aged clerk in jeans and a purple Aspen Creek Warriors sweatshirt, was kneeling at his side. “Step back, girls. Go on about your business.”