The Amish Nanny

“Amos was with me.”

“I see. Amos, was it wise to take your sister to the creek without telling me?”

“I guess not,” Amos admitted slowly.

“The creek is very deep in places. Can Lily swim?”

Amos looked at his sister. “Can you?”

She shook her head. “No, but the frogs swim really fast. I’m going to swim like a frog someday. You can teach me, Onkel Ethan.”

Ethan smiled at her enthusiasm. Lily did everything with gusto. “I would if I could, but I don’t know how to swim. I’ll find someone to teach you pretty quick, but until I do, no more wading in the creek. It’s dangerous.”

Lily frowned at him. “Not even if Clara is with us?”

He looked at the shy beauty standing beside the fresh laundry. “I think God was looking out for you today by sending Clara along when He did. I’m grateful to Him and to her.”

“She’s lots of fun. She plays with us,” Lily said with a big grin for her new friend.

He stood and faced Clara. “She’s a very nice lady. I see she has washed all your clothes, too. We’d better thank her properly.”

Amos tipped his head to the side. “How do we do that?”

“Why don’t we ask her if we can give her a ride home so she doesn’t have to walk all the way in this heat?”

Amos rose to his feet. A stream of soap suds slid down his belly. “Miss Barkman, may we offer you a ride home?”

Ethan watched Clara struggle not to laugh. His nephew’s gallant offer was a bit comical considering his lack of attire. Ethan picked up a nearby towel, wrapped it around the boy and lifted him from the tub.

Lily stood, and Clara wrapped her in a towel before lifting her out of the water, too. As they faced each other with the children in their arms, Ethan wished he could see Clara’s eyes, but she wouldn’t look at him. He waited for her to speak.

Finally, she nodded. “A ride would be nice. I live with my grandfather, Joseph Shetler. Do you know him?”

“The one they call Woolly Joe, the sheep farmer? I’ve been by the place. It’s a long walk from here. I thought you lived with the Lapp family.”

“I worked for Faith Lapp. I’m a spinner, but my job there is finished for the year. I hope you don’t mind that I bathed the children out here. I didn’t want them trudging through the house in the state they were in.”

“It looks like a good idea to me. Come on, kids. Let’s get dressed and take Clara home.”

“The children have only nightclothes to wear. I’ve washed all the rest. Nothing else was clean.”

“I’ve been meaning to do their laundry,” he admitted. Along with a dozen other chores he couldn’t find time to get done.

She glanced at him, and he caught a glimpse of her stunning blue eyes before she dropped her gaze again. Her cheeks grew pale. “I didn’t mean that as a criticism.”

“I didn’t take it as such. The children and I appreciate your neighborly gesture. Danki.”

“You are wilkumm,” she replied in a small voice.

“Micah should be home soon. We’ll have lunch when he gets here. The clothes should be dry by then, don’t you think?”

She nodded without speaking. He hefted Amos to get a better hold on the boy and carried him toward the house. “Olga has had a new heifer. You children will have to help me name her.”

“Let’s call her Clara,” Lily said. He heard Clara’s bitten-off laughter quickly turn into a cough. It proved she had a sense of humor.

She said, “That’s very sweet, Lily, but it might get confusing. What if you said you wanted to go picking strawberries with Clara and your onkel gave the calf a basket?”

Lily said, “That’s silly.”

“Let’s choose a different name.” Ethan held open the back door so that Clara could go inside. She hesitated, but then rushed past him. She was as skittish as a wild colt. Why was she afraid of him?

* * *

What on earth had possessed her to accept a ride home with Ethan? Clara had agreed because she didn’t want to hurt Amos’s feelings, but she hadn’t thought about spending the next hour with Ethan watching her every move. He made her feel like jumping out of her skin.

“How about Heidi for a name?” Amos suggested.

Ethan set the boy on the floor and appeared to give the idea careful consideration. “Heidi the Heifer. It has a certain ring to it. What do you think, Lily?”

Lily, still in Clara’s arms, worked her hands out of the towel and cupped Clara’s face. “I like it. Do you like it, Clara?”

Clara’s heart turned over with a surge of emotion at the child’s touch. What she wouldn’t give to have a little girl of her own like Lily. “It’s an excellent name. Let’s go and put your nightgown on until your clothes get dry.”

She carried the child up the stairs, happy to escape Ethan’s watchful eyes.

Once in the girl’s room, Clara finished drying the child and helped her dress in a white cotton nightgown with a tiny pink ribbon threaded through the lace at the neckline. “Sit down and let me comb and braid your hair.”

Lily climbed on the bed and sat cross-legged with her toes peeking from beneath the hem of her gown. She tipped her head to the side. “Clara, will you be my friend?”

“I would be delighted to be your friend, Lily.” Clara began to pull a comb gently through the girl’s tangled hair.

“What do friends do?”

“Friends do all kinds of things together.” She finished combing and began to braid the wet strands.

“Like what?”

“Friends visit each other. Sometimes they help each other with problems. They play games. When you are older, you can go to quilting bees and singings and simply enjoy each other’s company.”

“Do you enjoy my company?”

Clara smiled. “Very much.”

“I think I like having you for a friend.”

Clara secured the end of Lily’s braid with an elastic band. “I like having you for a friend, too.”

“Do you want to play hide-and-seek?”

Clara flicked the end of Lily’s nose with her finger. “Nee, for I have just got you clean. No hide-and-seek today.”

“Tomorrow?”

Sitting on the bed beside the child, Clara said, “I won’t be back tomorrow.”

Lily’s smile vanished. “Why not?”

“Because my job with the Lapp family is finished. I’m not sure when we will see each other again.”

“But you are my friend, and I want you to play with me.” Lily’s lower lip began to quiver.

Clara wrapped her arms around the child. “We will plan a visit. How about that? Someday soon. I’ll ask your onkel to bring you to my grandfather’s farm so you can see all our sheep and meet our dog, Duncan.”

“When?”

“I’ll work that out with your onkel, but it won’t be long.”

“Promise?”

Ethan didn’t seem to mind her giving the children a bath, but how would he feel about bringing Lily for a visit? Looking at the child’s hopeful face, Clara decided to ask and hoped her courage wouldn’t desert her when she was face-to-face with him. “I promise. Now smile for me. It makes my heart happy when I see a grin on your face.”

Lily complied. Amos came upstairs still wrapped in his towel. She left him to get dressed in his room. When he came out in his pajamas, he had a wooden puzzle in his hands. “Onkel said we were to play up here until he calls us to eat.”

“Okay.” Lily slipped to the floor and the two of them began to assemble the puzzle on the blue-and-white braided rag rug beside her bed.

Clara went down to see what she could do to help Ethan. The kitchen smelled of cooking ham. Ethan stood at the stove with his back to her, frying the meat in a skillet. There was a freshly sliced loaf of bread on the table along with a bowl of tomatoes.

Clara saw that Micah was home. The boy was setting the table. He paused when he caught sight of Clara. “What’s she doing here?”

“She has been taking care of your brother and sister.”

“Spying on us, you mean. She’s always spying.”

Clara’s stomach lurched. She pressed a hand to her midsection. Her foolish behavior was about to be exposed.

Ethan turned from the stove to scowl at the boy. “Apologize to Clara right now, Micah.”

“But it’s true. She was watching me at the Lapp farm, waiting to get me in trouble. She was watching me again today. Now she’s here in our house.”

Clara’s knees went weak with relief. He didn’t seem to know about her return visit the first time she came here.

Ethan glanced at her and back to Micah. “Only someone doing wrong fears discovery. If you are afraid Clara will see you doing something wrong, then you must have something to hide.”

“Everyone thinks I’m bad.” Micah slammed down the plate and raced out of the house.

Ethan sighed heavily. “I apologize for my nephew’s behavior.”

Clara was more ashamed then ever by her suspicions about Ethan. “I wasn’t spying on Micah.”

“I know that.”

“I was spying on you.” She bowed her head, unable to face him.

“On me?”

She nodded. “I came back after Faith and I left the other day and I listened beneath the window to your conversation with Micah.”

“Why would you do that?”

Clara closed her eyes in shame. “I was afraid you would beat him.”

He didn’t reply. She chanced a look at him and saw disbelief written on his face. Quickly, she said, “When my parents died, my sisters and I went to live with our onkel. He wasn’t kind.”

“He was cruel to you?”

She nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.

After a long pause, he said, “I see. Have your fears for my children been eased, or have I given you more to worry about?”

He was offended. She didn’t blame him. She swallowed hard. “I was wrong, and I beg your forgiveness. I don’t need that ride home. Tell the children I said goodbye.”

She rushed out of the house before he could say anything else, before he could see the tears of shame that sprang to her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

* * *

It was a long hot walk home, but Clara barely noticed the distance or the growing heat of the early July day. She was too humiliated to care about the sun beating down on her shoulders or the dust she kicked up on the road. It was unlikely that Ethan would bring Lily to visit her now. Although she had only met the children briefly, she was quite taken with Amos and Lily. She would have enjoyed seeing them again.

Clara looked up at the cloudless sky. It seemed that her poor behavior had cost her more than dented dignity. It was a hard lesson that she wouldn’t soon forget.

When she finally reached her grandfather’s home, she found her sisters hard at work. Lizzie stood at the stove sweating over a huge pan of simmering ears of corn. At the back of the stove, a pressure cooker began to whistle. Lizzie used a pair of thick oven mitts to move it off the heat. At the kitchen table, her youngest sister, Betsy, was cutting the kernels off the cobs into a bowl while Greta packed them into glass jars.

“Oh, good, you’re home.” Lizzie smiled brightly.

Surrounded by her family, Clara let go of her self-pity. She had made a mistake. It couldn’t be undone. It couldn’t be changed. Life went on. She would remember Ethan and his family in her prayers, but that was all she could do. Perhaps in time, he would forgive her, but she couldn’t dwell on her blunders.

She looked around the room at the people who loved her and accepted her as she was.

“What can I do to help?” she asked, not wanting to think about Ethan anymore.

Lizzie checked the simmering corn ears with a long fork, then put the lid back on the kettle. “You can gather and shuck more ears for us. We’ve put up thirty pints, but we should hurry and put up thirty more before the corn hardens in this heat.”

“Okay. Where is Naomi?” Clara asked.

Naomi was their grandfather’s new wife. After years of loving each other from afar, the Lord had finally given them the courage to begin a new chapter of their lives together. All the girls adored her. It was easy to see how happy she made their grandfather.

“Naomi and Daadi have gone into town to visit Naomi’s daughter. We got word this morning after you had gone that Emma had her baby.”

“How wonderful. Is it a boy or a girl?” Clara asked even as she shook off a stab of jealousy. She wanted children, too, but that required a husband. After her narrow escape, she was content to remain single. Teaching would be her calling.

“Emma had a baby girl. She and Adam haven’t decided on a name yet,” Greta said.

Betsy tossed her empty cob into a bucket at her feet and picked up another ear of corn. “Naomi will be spending a week or two with them so she can help with the baby and with running the inn.”

“How was your day, Clara?” Greta asked.

“It was fine. I’ll go bring in some more corn.” She didn’t want to talk about Ethan and his family. Her embarrassment was too fresh in her mind.

Outside, she faced the corn patch Greta had tended so carefully through the spring and early summer. A red wagon with an empty crate in it sat beside the garden gate. She took the handle and pulled it to the end of the row. Leaving the wagon, she walked in among the green stalks. The smell of the corn and the rustling of the broad leaves in the breeze were a painful reminder of her visit to spy on Ethan.

She grasped the first ear. The corn silk reminded her of Lily’s baby-fine blond hair. Clara peeled back a strip of corn husk to reveal the kernels beneath. Using her thumbnail, she pressed into one. A small splatter of juice told her the ear was perfect for picking. She pulled both ears off the stalk and moved to the next plant.

Who would be canning corn for Ethan and his family? Perhaps some of the women in his church planned to do it for him. Or maybe he had family members who would come and take care of such things. She couldn’t envision Ethan happily canning vegetables in his kitchen, but she knew there were men who enjoyed such tasks.

He would need a wife now that he had his brother’s children to care for. Even her short time with his family was enough to see he needed a woman’s touch in the home.

And why was she thinking about him again?

She sighed and kept working. It wasn’t as easy to forget about him as she had hoped.

* * *

“I want Clara to do this.” Lily sniffled and pulled the hairbrush from Ethan’s hand. She had been crying and asking for Clara all evening. He was at his wit’s end. Hopefully, a good night’s sleep would put Lily in a better frame of mind.

“Clara isn’t here, and if I don’t braid your hair tonight it will be full of tangles in the morning.” He held out his hand.

She threw the brush across the room. “I don’t care. I want to see my friend. She said you would take me to her house to meet her dog and her sheep. Why can’t we go there?”

He walked across the room and picked up the brush. “It’s getting dark outside, and it’s time for bed, Lily. Clara will be asleep soon, and so should you.”

He sat down at the edge of her bed. “Let me finish your hair.”

“I’ll do it.” She took the brush from him and managed to smooth most of the strands between her sniffles.

When she was done, he gently braided her soft blond locks and tied a ribbon on the end. It was a lopsided braid, but it was the best he could do.

She rubbed her red-rimmed and swollen eyes with the back of her fists. “Can I go see Clara tomorrow?”

“We’ll talk about it in the morning.” He covered her with a light sheet. The truly surprising thing was how much he wanted to see Clara again, too.

“I miss her.” Lily started crying and buried her face in the pillow.

Ethan sat beside her stroking her head until her sobs tapered off and eventually stopped. When she was asleep, he went downstairs and climbed wearily into his own bed.

It felt as if he’d only had his eyes closed for a minute when he felt someone patting his face. He opened one eye. Lily, with her braid undone and her hair in a mat of tangles, stood beside his bed. Only the faintest hint of light showed around the edge of the blind over his window. It wasn’t even dawn yet.

“Can we go see Clara now?” Lily asked hopefully.

“Nee, we can’t. Stop this nonsense.”

Lily burst into tears and sobbed harder than she had yesterday.

He sat up. There wouldn’t be any more sleep for him.

He tried to console her without success. Even her brothers couldn’t distract her when they got up. Lily refused to eat her breakfast and sat hiccuping at the table. The boys kept casting worried glances in his direction.

What did he do now?

The answer was clear. He needed Clara.

* * *

Clara rose, dressed quietly so as not to wake anyone else and went downstairs to start breakfast.

The entire family had made plans to travel to Hope Springs that afternoon to visit with Naomi and her family and see the new baby. Clara looked forward to the trip. When it was almost time to leave, Clara went out to gather a few fresh sweet corn ears to take along as a gift. As she was gathering the corn, she heard a wagon approaching along the lane.

She came out of the corn patch with her armload of ears to see who it was just as an enormous pair of draft horses trotted past. She clamped her lips closed on a shriek and managed to stand still, although her arms trembled enough to make her drop a few ears.

When the wagon was past, she realized it was Ethan at the reins. He hadn’t seen her. All the children were seated beside him. She followed the wagon to the house.

Her grandfather had come out to meet the visitors. “Guter mariye. Welcome to my home.”

“Good morning. I’ve come to speak to your granddaughter.”

Joe regarded the group on the wagon with a slight smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. “Which granddaughter? I have four.”

“I wanna...see...Clara,” Lily said with a catch in her voice. Was she crying?

Clara hurried around to the side of the wagon. “Lily, what’s wrong?”

“Clara!” Lily threw herself off the wagon seat and into Clara’s arms. Ears of corn flew everywhere as Clara caught her. Lily wrapped her arms tightly around Clara’s neck and held on for dear life.

Greta, Betsy and Lizzie came out of the house to meet the visitors. They stood on each side of her grandfather. Clara wanted to send them all back inside, but she couldn’t think of a reason to do so. There would be a wagonload of questions about this visit from a stranger and his children.

Ethan looked worn to the bone. “I can’t get anything done! She’s been like this since you left yesterday. She cried herself to sleep. She started crying the minute she woke up. Nothing I’ve tried will make her stop.”

Lily’s sobs were tapering off to hiccups. Clara cringed at Ethan’s frustrated tone. She hadn’t meant to make things harder for him. Now he had one more reason to be angry with her. “I’m so sorry.”

Her grandfather moved to her side. “What has my granddaughter to do with your child’s unhappiness?”

Her face burning, Clara held her breath as she waited for Ethan to tell everyone about her appalling behavior.

Chapter Four

Ethan watched the color drain from Clara’s cheeks. She cast him an imploring look before she dropped her gaze.

Did she think he had come to chastise her in front of her family for spying on him? Far from it. He wasn’t sure what to make of her behavior yesterday, but he needed her help.

He hoped he wasn’t making a mistake.

“Mr. Shetler, your granddaughter came to my farm with Faith Lapp a few days ago to tell me my nephew Micah had been up to some mischief. Yesterday, she found my two youngest playing in the creek alone and brought them home. It seems the children are in need of a better caretaker than I have been. Lily, my niece, has taken a great liking to Clara. I’ve come to offer her a job.”

Everyone looked at Clara. She didn’t say anything, but she shot him a grateful glance before looking down again. She relaxed a little and pushed her hands into the pockets of her apron.

“My granddaughter has a job. She works for Faith Lapp,” Joseph said.

“It’s my understanding that Clara doesn’t work there anymore.”

Joseph turned to Clara. “Is this true?”

She nodded. The women in her family seemed surprised by the news.

“You aren’t?”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“When did this happen?” they asked one after the other without giving her a chance to answer.

When they grew silent, Clara said, “We finished all the yarn yesterday. I thought I mentioned it last night. Maybe I didn’t.”

“There’s a lot you haven’t mentioned,” the youngest of her sisters quipped with a sharp look in Ethan’s direction.

Ethan climbed down from his wagon and approached Clara. She took a quick step back. He stopped where he was. “Perhaps we could discuss this in private?” he asked.

She glanced at her family and then nodded. She detached Lily from her neck and smiled at the child. “This is my sister Betsy. She will take you to meet some of our lambs. Would you like that?”

His niece looked uncertain. He prayed she wouldn’t start crying again. She sniffed once. “Can’t you show them to me?”

Clara lowered the girl to the ground. “I must speak with your onkel, but I will join you in a little while. Okay?”

“Okay.”

That was far easier than he had imagined. The young woman came forward and took Lily by the hand. “We have lots of sheep and some baby kittens, too. Would you like to see them?”

A smile lit Lily’s face. “I love kittens.” She took Betsy’s hand and went willingly. Her brothers tagged along after them.

It was a relief to see Lily acting normal again. Clara had a wondrous effect on the child. Ethan glanced at her. She met his gaze briefly and nodded toward the side yard. “Come this way.”

He followed her to a group of chairs arranged in a semicircle beneath the spreading branches of an elm tree. She took a seat in the shade. He sat in the chair beside her. She leaned away from him and crossed her arms tightly over her middle. “Thank you for not telling my family how I spied on you.”

“A thing that is forgiven should not be mentioned again.”

“I wasn’t sure that you had forgiven me.”

She was such a timid creature. She barely spoke loud enough for him to hear, but he didn’t move closer. He didn’t want to frighten her. It was amazing that she had found the courage to eavesdrop on him. It proved she would put the needs of a child above her own comfort. There was more to Clara Barkman than met the eye.

“Lily has been inconsolable since you left. I’m serious about the job offer. I need someone to look after the children while I’m working. I haven’t been logging since my brother, Greg, and his wife died. I need to get back to work or I won’t be able to feed my family. I can’t take them with me. It’s too dangerous to have them around chain saws and falling trees.”

“I can understand your concern.” She looked up then, and he was struck once more by how pretty she was.

Her skin was smooth and tanned by the sun. Her eyebrows arched like slender wings over her bright blue eyes. They gave her a slightly inquisitive look. He hadn’t noticed before because she was always looking down. Her hair, neatly parted in the center and swept back beneath her white kapp was blond with reddish highlights that reminded him of his teams’ shiny coats. It was easy to imagine her hair glistening in the sunlight, too. How long would it be if she let it down?

He had no business thinking such things about a maiden. Only God and a husband were allowed to gaze upon a woman’s crowning glory.

He realized he was staring when she blushed and dropped her gaze again. He hadn’t come to gawk at her. He was here to convince her to accept his job offer. He couldn’t handle the children alone. He was willing to admit that now. Clara might be the straw he was clutching for, but he was growing desperate.

“If you would consider the job, you should know I occasionally have to take work that’s too far away for me to get home at night. In that case, you may stay with the children at my place, or if you’d rather, you can bring the children home with you. I can’t pay you until I deliver a load of logs to the sawmill, but after that it will be a weekly wage. What do you think?”