A Marriage Between Friends

“Moonbeam’s cranky this morning. She’s out of food,” Edda Mae announced.

Never a patient dog, Moonbeam barked louder while Edda Mae apologized to her for forgetting to buy dog food and Teddy rooted in the pantry for something Moonbeam could eat, all the while claiming Moonbeam should have bacon for breakfast.

“Excuse me.” Scowling, Vince entered the kitchen, which suddenly seemed too crowded to Jill, but Edda Mae, Teddy and Moonbeam didn’t seem to notice how much space a big, angry man could take up. “Excuse me!”

Everyone fell silent, until Moonbeam realized it was Vince who was shouting and she still hadn’t been fed. She returned to her protest.

“Back off, looney dog,” Vince growled right back at her.

Moonbeam sat down and gazed up at Vince as if he were about to give her a piece of the bacon that crackled in the pan above her. Jill shouldn’t have been surprised. Vince had always been able to get girls to eat out of his hand.

“In the past twenty-four hours I’ve been lost in the woods and kicked out of this place, after which I nearly mowed down an innocent bystander, was threatened by a poofy mouse with fangs and slept on what has got to be the most uncomfortable couch in the state of California.” He glared at each of them in turn.

First at Teddy. “No, the dog is not getting bacon for breakfast even if I have to drive into town to buy her kibble.”

Then at Edda Mae. “No, I am not a pretty boy. I’ve been in my share of fights and served in the war. I’ve got scars. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to have a shower and a shave, but…”

And here he turned to Jill. “No, I will not be leaving when I’m done eating bacon and eggs. We have issues that need to be discussed—including, but not limited to, the state of our marriage and your objections to my casino.”

This was it. He was going to end their farcical union right here in front of Edda Mae and Teddy. Jill held her breath.

But Vince didn’t ask for a divorce. He shook his head and turned away.

Filling her lungs with air, Jill slouched against the counter, knowing she shouldn’t be so relieved. She needed to pull on her big-girl panties and tell Vince she wanted a divorce, rather than wait until he brought it up.

Vince spun back around. “And I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk about me as if I wasn’t here, especially before I’ve had my first cup of coffee.” Chin up, Vince dared any of them to challenge him.

Jill knew she should. At the very least she had to make it clear that he wasn’t spending the night on her couch again. Vince had the power to shred the safety net she’d created. He’d already started. But words eluded her.

“Looney Moony.” Teddy giggled, pleased with his rhyme.

CHAPTER FIVE

EDDA MAE REMEMBERED she’d left Moonbeam’s kibble in the Shady Oak kitchen when she was filling the shelves last week. Vince offered to go downstairs and retrieve it—being more curious than he wanted to admit about this luxury retreat of Jill’s—but apparently he needed a key and someone who knew the security code. Since Edda Mae was cooking Jill suggested Teddy take him. She didn’t seem to want to be alone with Vince or divulge the code.

“Why do elephants paint their toenails red?” Teddy asked, skipping down the stairs ahead of Vince.

“I don’t know,” Vince said absently, still trying to figure out Jill’s state of mind.

“So they can hide in a strawberry patch.” Teddy swung around the bottom stair, grinning at Vince. “Get it? Their toenails are big and round and red like strawberries.”

Vince groaned. He’d forgotten how truly bad a young boy’s jokes could be. But he couldn’t resist trying one of his own. After all, telling bad jokes was part of being a kid. “Have you ever seen an elephant’s toenails?”

Teddy shook his head.

“Those would be some mammoth strawberries.”

A small crease appeared between Teddy’s eyebrows.

With a put-upon sigh, Vince rolled his eyes. “Get it? Mammoth? Elephant?”

“Oh.” Teddy giggled. “Why do elephants hide in strawberry patches?”

After considering for a moment, Vince gave up. “I don’t know.”

Teddy’s lower lip thrust out in disappointment. “Take a guess. Mom hardly ever guesses.”

If that wasn’t a challenge, Vince didn’t know what was. “Because they eat straw?”

“No-o. So they can jump out and stomp on people.” Teddy waited for Vince to laugh before he rounded a corner. He stopped in front of an unimposing door, flipped up the lid of a plastic box installed on the wall and keyed in a series of numbers. “Why do elephants stomp on people?”

“To make people whine…wine?” It was a stretch, but Teddy wanted him to guess.

“No! That’s why they play squash.” Teddy plodded around, his right arm curling as if it were an elephant’s trunk while he made mmfffttt noises. Then he grinned up at Vince expectantly.

“Ha, ha. Your friends must think you’re a laugh a minute.”

Teddy’s smile crumpled. “My skunk jokes are better.”

“I can’t wait, but—” Vince held up a hand before Teddy could launch into his stinky repertoire “—let’s find the dog food first. I can hear that looney beast complaining from here.”

Tilting his head, Teddy paused and then chuckled as he searched through the set of keys on the ring Jill had given him. “Yep, she’s still complaining.”

Once Teddy found the right key, the door opened on silent hinges into a huge kitchen with a dark hardwood floor. Black marble counters over oak cabinets made a U around the room. Pots and pans hung from the ceiling over a large center island. There were two of everything—stoves, refrigerators, microwaves, all shiny new stainless steel which must have set Jill back plenty. There was a Dutch door opposite the entrance they’d come through and a high counter with shutters on top that he guessed served as a pass-through to the dining room.

While Teddy rooted around in the cupboards, Vince pushed open the Dutch door and walked into the dining room. He whistled once in appreciation as he let the door swish closed behind him. Jill had gone all out here. This was no summer camp. The room was way more lavish than the simple apartment above it.

Vince had been to more than his share of luxury hotels. She’d obviously taken inspiration from high-end lodges. The dining room was a showcase of polished floors, upscale wooden tables and saloon chairs and exquisite chandeliers, with the centerpiece a grand stone fireplace next to a bank of windows that looked out over a porch to the gently rolling valley below. The view was breathtaking.

Jill hadn’t exaggerated Shady Oak’s potential. It could be a huge success. If the individual rooms were anything like this, she’d be booked years in advance. Vince’s mind cranked through what else she’d need—advertising, more staff, weekend getaway deals with the local casino.

“Found it.” Teddy flung the door open, bumping Vince with it. “Let’s go.”

Vince followed the boy out, waiting while he locked up and reset the alarm. “Are the cottages like this?”

Teddy shrugged, clearly not interested. “Mom says the cottages turned out way better.”

His curiosity piqued, Vince stared at the cabins closest to the dining hall.

Teddy tugged on Vince’s shirt. “Hey. What do you get when you cross a skunk with a bear?”

“A zebra?” That was a stretch.

“Winnie the Pew! Here, carry this.” The Prince of Bad Jokes handed Vince the small bag of dog food, then raced off. “Last one upstairs is a rotten egg.”

“TELL ME ABOUT your family, Vince,” Edda Mae commanded when they’d all sat down to eat breakfast.

“Edda Mae.” Jill cast a nervous glance at Vince. During their short engagement Jill’s few questions about Vince’s mom and dad had been met with silent shrugs. His parents hadn’t attended their private ceremony. She doubted they’d been invited.

Teddy set his milk down. Out of habit, Jill swabbed his milk mustache away while he swatted at her hand.

But Vince answered smoothly, “There’s not much to tell. I’m an only child.”

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