A Father for Her Baby

A while? How’s that for a joke? Why wasn’t he laughing? A while. Far too long. Huh? No. She meant not nearly long enough. Didn’t she? Oh, yeah, definitely not long enough. Yet here he stood, a few feet from her, as big and strong and virile as ever. And that was with layers of thick warm clothes covering that body she apparently still remembered too well.

You shouldn’t be remembering a thing about that amazing year. You’re long over him and the hurt he caused. True? Absolutely.

She fought the need to revisit Grady and everything he’d meant to her, instead aimed for calm and friendly, as though his unexpected appearance didn’t matter at all. ‘What are you doing here?’ Big fail. Her voice rose as though a hand gripped her throat. Memories from those wonderful carefree days she’d stashed away in a mental box some place in the back of her head were sneaking out and waving like flags in a breeze, threatening to swamp her.

Swallowing hard, she focused on now, not the past. Why had Grady turned up? Golden Bay was her territory. Not his. He’d only come for summer holidays and that had been years ago. He’d be visiting. But who? Not her, for sure. Her tummy sucked in on itself, setting Flipper off on a lap of her swimming pool, nudging Sasha every few seconds, underlining how unimportant Grady was in the scheme of things.

Sasha dug deeper than she’d ever done before for every bit of willpower she could muster to hold off rubbing her extended belly. She would not draw those all-seeing blue eyes to her pregnant state. That was hers alone to cope with. She certainly didn’t need Grady asking about her baby.

His smile seemed genuine, though wary. Which it damn well ought to be. ‘Hi, Sash. This is a surprise. I didn’t expect to run into you while I was here.’

Sash. That certainly set free a load of hot memories. Her nipples tightened, her thighs clenched. Grady still drawled her name out like he was tasting it, enjoying it.

He couldn’t be. He’d lost any right to those sensations the day he’d told her he didn’t love her enough to spend the rest of his life with her. Yet he was checking her out. Her pulse sped up as that steady gaze trawled over her, starting with her face and tracking slowly down her chin, her throat, over the swell of her breasts under the thickness of her jacket, on down to Flipper. As his gaze dropped further the breath she’d been hanging onto trickled over her lips. He hadn’t noticed the six-month bulge. Guess the thick jersey and heavy jacket she wore made her look larger than normal anyway.

Now his gaze had reached her legs—forever legs, he used to call them. Another memory leaped out of the box. Grady’s strong hands gently rubbing sunscreen from her toes to the tops of her thighs. Slam. The lid shut firmly.

Then Grady stepped right up to her and enveloped her in those strong arms she would not remember. Her head bumped against the chest she’d never found the likeness of again. And out of nowhere came the need to lay her cheek against him and tuck her hands around his waist. Even to tug that shirt free and slide her hands over his skin.

No, Sasha, you can’t. Are you that stupid you’ve forgotten his parting words? That memory never went into the box. That one you kept out in the open as a warning never to make the same mistake.

Except she had got it wrong again. Had learned nothing in the years since Grady. She jerked backwards. Too quickly for him to let go of her, so that her baby bump shoved forward, right into his solar plexus.

His head snapped up, those startled eyes registering shock. He pulled away from her fast, as though he’d walked into an electric fence. In the shadows and flashing lights from the emergency vehicles she saw a multitude of questions spinning her way. He pushed his hands deep into his jacket pockets, forced his chest out and splayed his legs slightly. Such a Grady stance. The don’t-mess-with-me posture even while his face showed how much he wanted to ask her about that bump.

Tough. Her baby had nothing to do with him. He’d want to know who the father was, no doubt wondering if it was someone he knew from way back when they had been part of a whole crowd of teens at the beach. He could guess all night long, he’d never get it right.

He looked away, looked back at her. Tugged one hand free and rammed his fingers through his thick hair. Stumped.

She blinked as her throat clamped shut on the delayed shock charging up her body, opening that box of memories again, wider than ever. I remember you very well, Grady O’Neil. Too well. I remember—too many things I’d prefer not to. The air trickled out of her lungs. Those memories were capable of melting all the black ice on the Takaka Hill road.

Why had she never considered this moment might happen? Because Takaka had been their playground only when they’d been teenagers knocking around together. Knocking around? That was one way of describing what had gone on between them. They’d been inseparable. Totally in love with the intensity of teenagers overdosed on hormones. She’d stupidly thought they’d be together for ever.

So wrong about Grady. So wrong about the greaseball she’d walked away from four months ago. She really needed a ‘how to’ book on establishing perfectly balanced relationships with the opposite sex.

She closed her eyes. Opened them. Nothing had changed. Grady still stood in front of her, questions blinking out, begging for answers. No way, sunshine. Not telling you. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she croaked, ‘I didn’t realise you knew Mike.’

‘I met him two days ago when I dropped by the medical centre. He and Roz invited me to have dinner with them tonight, which is where I was when this call came in.’

Jonty called from the open back doors of the ambulance, ‘How do we get these stretchers out of here?’

Saved by the fireman. Sasha hurried to clamber inside the wide vehicle and unlock the stretchers from the wheels they wouldn’t be using tonight.

‘Ta.’ Jonty grinned. Then pulled a grim face. ‘We’re bringing Lucy up first so you and Grady can do what you have to with her in the warmth of the ambulance.’

I have to work with Grady? Her skin broke out in goose-bumps, even as she gathered her strength around her like a mantle. ‘Sure.’ She pressed her lips together and started getting out equipment they’d need. She’d work with the devil if it meant helping Sam and Lucy.

The devil might be easier to get on with.

Blinking back a sudden rush of tears, she tried to concentrate on the job. Damn her tear ducts. They’d taken on a life of their own since she’d become pregnant.

The ambulance rocked as Grady clambered up the step. Did he have to suck up all the air? Surreptitiously she studied him, saw the pinching at the corners of his delectable mouth. Absurdly she wanted to reach out and touch him, run her finger over those lips and say, Hello, how’ve you been? Great idea, Sasha. Not.

‘Sash, can you move back a bit so I can get inside?’ His vivid cerulean eyes locked onto her and the bottom fell out of her stomach. That memory box lifted its lid again as she looked deeper into those eyes that used to twinkle at her while sending her hormones into a dance, eyes that had undressed her, grown slumberous with desire. Eyes that had turned the colour of thunderclouds as he’d told her they were over. Eyes that now held nothing but a simple request.

So he was playing the friends card. She’d do that too. Cool, casual. Aloof even, but friendly.

Flipper chose that moment to kick hard, making her gasp. Sinking down onto the stretcher frame, she rubbed her side. Felt another nudge from her girl. This baby had an attitude problem. Reminding her mum exactly what her new life was all about—her daughter.

CHAPTER TWO

‘SASHA WILSON, I’VE never forgotten you.’

He sucked cold air through clenched teeth. Unfortunately his mind remained fixed on Sasha.

‘Not for lack of trying, believe me. You’ve hung around in my skull, annoying the hell out of me, reminding me continually of what I destroyed. My one chance of extreme happiness blown out of the water because I couldn’t figure a way to make the future work well for both of us at the same time as looking after Mum and my sisters.’

What had he done to deserve this turn of events? Opening up old wounds had never been on his agenda. Especially Sasha’s hurts. Coming to Takaka had been such a foolish idea, but he’d thought spending four weeks here would be safe. That he’d visit, get his house sorted and on the market then leave, without Sasha factoring into his plans—because she wouldn’t be here.

When Mike had mentioned her name earlier he’d struggled to absorb the shock and warmth that had hit him. But it seemed no preparation could lessen the slam-dunk feeling he’d got when he’d actually seen her. His ability to think straight had vamoosed. He’d been sorely tempted to hold her, kiss her, devour her. The struggle to keep himself together while he’d given her that friendly hug had caused knots in his shoulders and neck muscles.

And then her pregnant belly. That had really put him in his place. He didn’t belong here. Certainly not with Sasha. But, then, that was why he’d come, to get shot of his house and move on with his life. Once and for all.

Sash hadn’t lived here for years, or so he’d been told. If anyone had told him she was working at the local medical centre, however temporarily, he’d have said they needed to see a shrink. Golden Bay was far too small for a personality the size of hers. Always had been. They’d never planned on living here any time in their future. The future he’d deliberately destroyed to set her free.

He didn’t want to think about that baby she carried. But how could he not? His heart slammed his ribs. A little bit of him had died right then. Sasha was pregnant. With another man’s baby. Yeah, well, the point being? Pregnancy usually involved a man and he hadn’t been around for a very long time. Bile soured the back of his throat. She’d got on with her life like he’d told her to, proving how final his words had been.

He’d spoken them but had he understood the true depth of what he’d told her? Hurting her had been unavoidable if he was to make her get on with her life, unhindered by his problems with his family that had suddenly tied him to Nelson and stopped him going away to med school. He’d spent hours trying to come up with a way to break off with her without causing her distress and pain, hoping to leave the door open for later. Of course there’d been no answer other than to say it straight out. Go, get on with your life, leave me to mine. It had hurt him as much as her, but she hadn’t seen that.

Now Sasha had a family of her own. Without him. His loss. His big loss.

Was that what had brought her back here? Family? The baby’s maternal grandparents lived here. The slower-paced, outdoors-orientated lifestyle was perfect for a young child. Sasha had lots of friends here who were probably starting families round about now. Who had she settled down with? Someone local that he knew? Or an outsider who’d fallen under Sasha’s spell? Like he had the very first time he’d set eyes on her as she’d rowed her dinghy into the beach and tossed the anchor at his feet. He’d been young and horny and in lust. Which had quickly turned to young and horny and in love.

Where was her man anyway? Grady scowled. He wouldn’t have let her out alone at this hour, driving in these horrendous conditions. Yeah, but this was Sash. The woman who never listened to anyone’s advice. The girl with enough confidence for a whole team of downhill skiers. That had been one of her attractions. That and her smarts, and her enthusiasm for just about everything—except spiders and mashed spuds.

Never in a month of dry Sundays had he expected to feel so disorientated when he saw her. He’d honestly believed he’d be cool, calm and casual. He’d had an hour to prepare. He’d been sitting at the same table as Mike, listening as the guy had rung around the emergency volunteers, getting them on the road to help Sasha with a road accident.

The only word that had registered in his brain had been ‘Sasha’. Immediately excitement had rolled through him. He was going to see her. For eleven years he’d stayed away, wondering how she fared, if she’d forgiven him, and could they be friends again—and now all he could think was what he’d missed out on. His gut roiled. Sasha, his one true love. Out of reach for ever. And no one to blame except himself.

How could I have been so stupid to think I’d get over her if I tried really hard? Talk about impossible.

Pain bounded around his chest. His head spun so fast it hurt. His gut had crunched down hard, feeling like it held a solid ball of concrete. So much he wanted to know, yet he couldn’t ask her a thing.

‘Ask what?’ came the sharp tone of the woman he wanted to pretend wasn’t within touching distance.

Inside the ambulance he ducked to avoid smashing his head on the overhead cupboards. ‘Nothing,’ he muttered, because he truly couldn’t think what to say. Most things that came to mind would be incendiary. Certainly not conducive to good working relations.

A cupboard door slid shut with a bang. ‘What area of medicine did you specialise in?’

So she knew he’d finally trained as a doctor. She must’ve thought of him occasionally, then. Was that good? Or bad? He told her, ‘I chose general practice. I like the community aspect best.’

‘I get that.’ Sasha surprised him with a smile. A very brief flicker but he’d take it. It melted some of the forced wariness that had settled on his heart the moment he’d seen her head popping up from behind that bank where the truck had crashed. The chill had been about him, not her. A hopeless attempt to shut down any leftover feelings he had for this beautiful, feisty woman.

She’d been a girl-slash-woman when he’d fallen in love with her. Seventeen going on thirty. Unafraid of anything, whether it had been taking her dad’s plane up for a spin, galloping her horse at breakneck speed along the beach, or diving for scallops out in the bay. She had always got her own way by sheer willpower. People had either gone with her or stepped aside to watch with envy her latest escapade. Watching her now, she seemed very much in control.

Voices reached them, and then thankfully men appeared at the entrance to the interior of the ambulance. Jonty was telling them, ‘Go easy with that stretcher, guys. Lucy doesn’t need any more knocks.’

Sasha took the top end and guided the stretcher onto its frame, before deftly clicking all the locks in place. Lucy wasn’t going anywhere she shouldn’t.

Grady moved closer, looking their patient over, fighting to ignore Sasha’s presence as her arm rubbed against his when they both leaned over the stretcher. Heat spilled through him. Heat that woke up parts of his body best left asleep right now. Heat he did not need around Sash. Focus on Lucy. Head wound, right arm at an odd angle, suggesting a fracture, laboured breathing. Sliding a hand under Lucy’s torn blouse, he carefully felt her ribs. No problems there. One point in her favour.

‘The GCS was nine when I first checked Lucy and it hasn’t changed,’ Sasha informed him. ‘She came round twice very briefly earlier and asked about Sam, before losing consciousness again.’

The Glasgow Coma Index. Borderline severe. Not a good sign. Grady’s fingers worked along Lucy’s hairline then over her head. ‘I’m guessing she hit the dashboard when the truck flipped.’

‘The wound above her temple was still bleeding moderately when I reached her.’

He gently lifted the padding at one corner. ‘It’s stopped now.’

‘One thing to be thankful for.’ Sasha’s tone was perfectly reasonable, normal. Totally unaffected by his presence.

Guess she’d long got over him. Which, considering her pregnancy, should be mighty obvious even to his sluggish brain. He must’ve done a good job of telling her to get on with her life without him in it because the results were very clear. Sash was going to become a mother in a few months’ time. She hadn’t done that on her own.

The green-eyed monster lifted its head, roared inside his skull. Who was the lucky bastard? Did he treat her well? Did she love him? Completely and utterly? Passionately? Of course she did. That was the only way Sash did anything. Grady wiped his hands down his jeans, removing a sudden coating of sweat. ‘We need to splint Lucy’s arm.’

He’d spoken more brusquely than he’d intended and received a perfectly arched eyebrow kind of glare for his trouble. ‘Sure.’

It was as easy as that for Sash. Except her fingers had a slight tremble as she handed him the splint. Interesting. And confusing. Talk about mixed messages. Not only were those fingers trembling, they were covered in rings. Was one of them a wedding ring? The silver one on her wedding ring finger had a tiny butterfly etched into the metal. Not a likely wedding ring, even for Sasha.

They worked quickly and efficiently, routine emergency care that neither of them had any difficulty with. Grady asked in as nonchalant a voice as he could manage, ‘Where have you been working? Before Takaka?’ Sasha had been planning on starting her training only weeks after the last time they’d been together. They’d finished high school and had been enjoying their last summer holidays before hitting the adult world.

‘In the emergency department at Christchurch Hospital for a year.’ She gently lowered Lucy’s arm by her side. ‘Now I’m the community nurse around here while the centre’s usual nurse is on maternity leave.’

‘Must be something in the water,’ Grady muttered.

‘Here I’d been thinking it was all to do with loving relationships.’ Suddenly her tone could have slayed rampaging bulls.

A quick glance showed the anger spitting out at him from those beautiful emerald eyes. Anger and something else he couldn’t make out. Hurt? Disappointment? It had come and gone so fast he didn’t have time to work out exactly what that emotion had been.

‘Sash, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound flippant.’ Once he’d have been able to say anything to her and get away with it. That had been before bust-up day. Eleven birthdays and Christmases ago. A doctor’s degree ago. Two broken relationships ago. Relationships he hadn’t cared enough about to make work.

‘My name is Sasha.’ Words as cold as that ice outside fell into the silence.

Not to me you’re not. His heart cracked wide open at her rebuff. He hadn’t set out to be overly friendly by using his pet name for her. But he’d always called her Sash. He hadn’t learned not to. All these years he’d thought about Sash, not Sasha. That was everyone else’s name for her. She used to protest at anyone calling her Sash—except him. Seemed he’d been relegated to the slush heap. His shrug was deliberate and heavy. ‘Sasha.’

The door opened and cold air hit them as Mike and the guys hoisted the second stretcher on board with Mr Donovon strapped down tight.

Their patient roused himself enough to croak out, ‘How’s Lucy?’

‘She’s stable, Sam.’ Sasha held the older guy’s hand for a moment, spoke in a very caring way, nothing like she’d talked to him. ‘I’m glad you’re out of that truck.’

‘You and me both, lass.’

Mike nudged his way between Grady and Sasha. ‘Let’s take a look at you, Sam, before we get on our way.’

‘Are you driving over to Nelson?’ Sasha’s eyes widened. ‘I’ve just come over the hill and it’s not good. Took me a lot longer than normal.’

‘No choice. The rescue helicopter flew to Wellington on an emergency run four hours ago and has been grounded after a wind gust flicked it sideways, causing damage to a rotor,’ Mike explained. ‘Jonty has offered to drive while Rebecca and I keep an eye on these two.’

Rebecca poked her head through from the front, where she’d been having no luck in her attempts to raise the Nelson ED on the radio. ‘I don’t have a lot of confidence driving on ice, whereas Jonty’s had plenty of practice.’

‘You want me to come along?’ Grady asked Mike. ‘I’m happy to help.’ Though it was getting crowded in here.

Mike shook his head as he cut down through the centre of Sam’s trouser leg. ‘No point in all of us missing out on a night’s sleep. Rebecca and I can handle this. Grady, you hitch a ride back with Sasha. She lives on her parents’ property, close by your house.’ Mike really didn’t have a clue about anything.

He saw Sash stiffen for a brief moment. Then she returned to helping Mike, for all the world completely unperturbed by the other doctor’s suggestion. Mike’s idea made perfect sense. She lived very close to his house. He used to be able to get to Sasha’s in under a minute on his motorbike if the road was clear. Bloody lucky he’d never come off on that tight corner by the Wilsons’ gate. ‘Okay with you, Sasha?’ he drawled.

Why did his mind play these games to annoy her when really all he wanted was a bit of peace for the rest of his stay here? He must quit giving the woman a hard time. She hadn’t asked for him to barge back into her life. ‘I can go back with the fire truck if you’d prefer.’

Her mouth tightened, her eyes darkened, and she tugged those small shoulders back hard, automatically pushing that baby bump further out between them. She wouldn’t back down from what she’d been asked to do. But she glared at him as she said, ‘Might as well come with me. I warn you I’m not in a hurry. Too much ice to drive like I’m handling a racing car.’

Now, that was something new. Sash had always driven like she had to win. ‘Works for me.’

‘Let’s go.’ Sasha was blunt. ‘I’m more than ready to be home tucked up in bed for what’s left of the night.’

Air whooshed out of his lungs. Sash and bed. The memories he’d been trying to deny for the last thirty minutes reared up bright and dazzling. Sash—gregarious, generous, sexy, funny. A full-on, crazy, risk-taking kind of girl. An exciting, adventurous lover whose kisses had always left him breathless. And wanting more of her. What he wouldn’t do for one of those now.

Huh? Man, he had a problem, and he was about to hitch a ride with her. He watched her carefully lower to the ground, holding onto the safety rail in case her feet went from under her. So unlike the Sash he knew. But he wanted, needed, to get to know this version.

Mike tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Sorry about dragging you up here, but that’s Golden Bay for us medicos. The isolation means no one can ever totally relax.’

‘No problem,’ he answered mechanically, his eyes still fixed on Sash as she moved away awkwardly, taking each step extra-carefully. Her back ramrod straight, her head high. He knew her chin would be jutting forward, her mouth tight.

Exactly like that last time he’d seen her. On the sand at Pohara Beach below Dad’s house, now his house. She’d turned to walk away from him, the summer wind flattening her burnished gold curls and sandblasting her arms. Her long legs, forever legs, showcased by barely-there shorts, had eaten up the ground as she’d put distance between them.

Those green eyes, big in her fine-featured face, had been fixed on something in the distance at the far end of the beach. Only minutes before they’d been filled with love for him. Love that had rapidly turned to disbelief, and pain, as he’d spewed out his sorry attempt to make her go away so she could have the future she’d already mapped out long before they’d got together. The only kind of future that would suit Sasha. Certainly nothing like the one he’d suddenly faced, brought about by Dad’s death.

If he had a dollar for every time he’d wished his words back over the intervening years he could have retired already. But there’d be no undoing what his mouth had spilled that day. His deliberate attempt to send her on her way had been highly successful. Though he’d been thankful it was done, there’d been a part of him that had wished she’d fought him, made him accept there was no letting go of what bound them together, that theirs was a love that would see them through anything and everything.

Now he had to sit in a vehicle with her for as long as it took to get home. He would not spend the trip remembering her fingers playing over his skin in moments of wild passion. He would not recall how she’d call on her cell phone in the middle of the night and talk dirty till he lost control. Or how she’d climb on the back of his motorbike, slide her arms around his waist and hang on, laughing at the wind in her face. Not. Not. Not.