When I Break

Holy shit. Maybe I did have a problem. I was sitting in a sex addicts meeting with a hard-on. I was pretty sure that couldn’t be filed under N for normal.

But shit, I wasn’t like these people. Was I? The fucking jackass next to me was dressed in sweatpants with a hole in the crotch, and he’d just spent twenty minutes confessing about how he’d jacked off in the car to porn downloaded on his phone before coming into the meeting. I scooted my chair farther away from him and caught a glare from McKenna.

McKenna continued providing prompts in the conversation and several more people opened up. By the time the hour was up, I knew far more about the people sitting around me than I wanted to.

A few group members still lingered as I approached McKenna at the front of the room, where she was leaning against a table near the window. I wondered if she was going to chastise me for not talking again.

‘Still afraid to open up?’ she asked, peeking up at me through thick lashes.

I wasn’t afraid, but I knew what she was trying to do. She wanted to goad me into talking.

‘I don’t like this sharing bullshit in the group. I’m not saying I won’t talk to you—I will. Me and you. Someplace else. Private.’

She narrowed her eyes, searching mine. ‘You think you’re the first guy in this group to hit on me? Not by a long shot. I’m here to do a job, Knox. That’s all.’

I chuckled. She thought I was asking her out? That was ridiculous; I didn’t take girls out.

‘Don’t judge me. You and your charmed life you lead—you don’t know anything about my life, sweetheart. And P.S. I’m here because I choose to be here.’

‘McKenna?’ a tall, lanky guy called out from the doorway. ‘Everything okay?’

I looked his way, noting that I hadn’t seen him in the group before, yet he seemed pretty familiar with McKenna.

‘Brian? What are you doing here?’

‘I thought you might like a ride home. Is everything all right?’ His gaze moved between me and her, his expression radiating concern.

McKenna swallowed and glanced at me before answering. ‘It’s fine.’ She nodded. ‘And I told you, I’m fine taking the bus.’

‘Are you sure?’

McKenna fixed her friend with an icy stare, sending her message loud and clear without words.

‘Okay,’ he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. ‘I guess I’ll see you at home later.’

‘’Bye, Brian.’

Brian nodded and left reluctantly, leaving McKenna and me alone once again.

When she turned to face me again, I could see judgment written all over her pretty face. I was beneath her. She’d labeled me and stuck me in some damn box. Hell, I knew I wasn’t good enough for a girl like her, but I hadn’t expected for her to actually call me out on it.

I fixed a sneer on my face. ‘Better go get home safe and sound, away from all us fuck-ups, McKenna.’ Then I turned for the door and strode away.

Chapter Eight

McKenna

I could not have handled that worse. I hated the idea that I’d offended Knox; that was never my intention. Maybe he’d been serious about opening up one-on-one with me—perhaps it hadn’t been a pick-up line at all. And I’d overreacted. Horribly. A sour pit sank low in my stomach and settled there.

I noticed a small leather-bound notebook resting against the desktop where Knox had been leaning. Crossing the room to retrieve the book, I wondered if there was a way to find him, to apologize and return his journal. I should have just waited to return it to him next Saturday, assuming he came back, but I knew that wasn’t what I wanted.

This group was supposed to be anonymous, but Knox gave his last name at the first meeting—Bauer. And his first name wasn’t all that common, so perhaps I’d have some luck finding him. I pulled out my smartphone and typed his name into Google: KNOX BAUER + CHICAGO, and was rewarded with an address. A home in the South Loop, not too far from where I lived.

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