Defy Not The Heart

*****

Sometime later, deep into the night, Shinbe awoke to find Kyoko dressed, but asleep next to him on the blanket within the shimmering grass.

Not wanting to wake her and face his sins just yet, he soundlessly carried the sleeping priestess, along with the pack she carried, within the walls of the hut where the rest of the group still slept.

Once he had her tucked into her usual spot between the wall and Suki, he slowly slid down the opposite wall, drawing his knees up to his chest, happier and more afraid than he had ever been in his life. But if he were going to die within the next couple hours, then he would die happy.

Shinbe closed his eyes wondering which would be worse, Kyoko remembering, or her not remembering. He knew he would never love another, for one had to have a heart in order to love, and he didn't have a heart. He’d already given it away. Kyoko had carried his heart since the first day he’d laid eyes on her.

If he didn't die by Toya's daggers in the morning, he knew he would stay right where he was, secretly loving her, and hoping she would notice.

Chapter 2 "Morning Frights"

Shinbe jerked awake with a start when he heard Toya’s shout. He felt all the muscles in his body cringe at the thought of becoming shish-kabob on Toya’s twin daggers. Morbid fascination had him slowly opening his amethyst eyes to see what was going on.

"Shut up!” Kyoko yelled, throwing her hand up and casting the taming spell, then instantly grabbed her head in panic as the pain rocketed through her brain.

"What was that for?” Toya growled as he glared up at her from the floor.

"Oww,” her mouth made a little ‘o’ as she cringed again. “Shhh,” She added hoping he would get the message.

Shinbe sighed, knowing Kyoko most likely had a hangover, and Toya wasn’t helping the matter by being so loud. He was glad she could paralyze him, even if he did find it strange that the taming spell only worked on Toya. Sometimes he found himself jealous that she could put a spell on Toya at all. It also didn’t help that Toya was the only one who could leap back and forward through time, following her into her home world. In Shinbe’s mind, it only brought those two even closer.

He silently wondered if she remembered last night considering how intoxicated she was. Shinbe closed his eyes, feeling his insides clench when Toya snapped at Kyoko for using the spell. So far, everything seemed normal. He reflected back again, trying to remember everything clearly. He found it strange that even for him, last night seemed almost like a dream.

He remembered just before bringing her into the hut, he’d used a shield spell on them to cover up any scent of their love making, if it had been noticeable. He opened his eyes again, knowing hiding wouldn’t help if she remembered what happened. Then Shinbe forgot to breathe as he watched Toya lean close to Kyoko, sniffing her.

Toya crinkled his nose up at her, "Kyoko, do I smell alcohol on you?” He sat down in front of her when he heard her pained but guilty sigh. Her hands were still covering her face. "What the hell, Kyoko? Did you get drunk?” Toya couldn’t keep his voice from going a little too high, and he clamped his mouth shut when she jerked her hands down and gave him a death glare.

"Toya, I’m sorry. But if you don’t get out of my face right now, I’m gonna do something me and you are both going to regret," Kyoko’s eyes narrowed. She raised her hand as if to cast the Taming spell on him again, causing Toya to scoot back quickly and growl in annoyance.

Shinbe couldn’t help but smirk as Kyoko put Toya in his place. He hid it behind a quick cough. Sometimes those two could be so… entertaining. Another cough caught his attention. Leaning over to look around Toya, he could see Kamui having the same problem of trying to hide his laughter.

'Damn, she can be really, really scary, sometimes,' Toya thought as he put his hands in his loose sleeves and turned his face to the side. "Fine, you can tell me later!" he peeked at her from the corner of his golden eyes, knowing he had said that a little too loud. Jumping up, he took off out the door, not wanting to stick around if she tried to ‘tame’ him again. It was a good thing that stupid spell didn’t last long or he would be hurting.

Suki hadn’t said a word as she watched Kyoko in wonder. When Toya finally left, she padded softly over to Kyoko. Bending down, she whispered, "Kyoko, I’m going to go get you some fresh water, okay? You just lie back down and I’ll be right back." She placed her hand lightly on Kyoko’s shoulder shaking her head, wondering how their innocent Kyoko could have gotten drunk. Deciding she’d wait to ask, she turned and left the hut to get her friend some water.

Kamui couldn’t pass up the opportunity and grinned from ear to ear. “Kyoko, I can’t believe you went out drinking and didn’t invite me.” His smile widened even more when Kyoko gave him a cross-eyed look. Sensing Kaen outside waiting on him, he left the hut to join his fiery friend.

Kyoko groaned as her head pounded. She should have asked Suki for help to look through her backpack. She knew she would have something in there for pain, and if she could just find it right now, she would probably take all of it. She saw a shadow fall across her and turned to see Shinbe’s amethyst gaze watching her.

Suddenly, images of him above her, making love to her lips and body coursed through her mind. It was a dream… right? A drunken dream, yeah… she remembered now. Hangover or not, she couldn’t help what she was thinking and felt the hot blush rise up to stain her cheeks. She was instantly thankful one of his guardian powers wasn’t being able to read minds, like Kyou could.

"Kyoko, are you all right? Is there something I can do for you?” Shinbe felt guilty knowing she thought it was a dream, as she’d said last night. But he needed to know if she remembered anything. By the blush that spread across her face, he thought maybe she did. When she finally spoke, he sighed in relief, and misery. Somewhere deep inside, he had hoped she would remember, and put an end to it all.

Kyoko gave him a weak smile. Damn dreams… Why did she have to dream of him, of all people? It wasn’t bad enough she’d dreamt of him before in that manner, but she’d never dreamt of him and woke up only to be so close to him that she could feel his body heat.

She suddenly leaned back, away from that closeness, her emerald eyes wide. There was something in the way he was looking at her, as if he were searching into her very soul. Or getting ready to grope her… with Shinbe one could never be sure. She mentally shook her head, ‘No. Don’t wanna go there, Kyoko, girl, not right now! Think, what was the question?’ “Urmm…”

"Shinbe, would you mind looking through my bag, and find the box I keep herbs in?” she put her hands to her head again, trying to stifle the thumping. ‘Note to self… never, ever, go to a party with Tasuki and his frat buddies ever again.’

Shinbe dug around in her bag looking for the herb box. Pulling it out, he handed it to her. Kyoko accidentally brushed her hand across his and Shinbe had a sudden bolt of heat course through his body causing a certain part of him to harden.

‘Oh, how vulnerable she was right now, he could just… NO! What was he thinking? Gods… they were right when they called him a perv.’

Trying to quickly back away to a safer distance, he accidentally brushed his arm against her thigh.

Kyoko inwardly cringed at the contact. Why did he have to be the one helping her right now? Why couldn’t Toya still be here glaring and yelling at her. ‘Those lips, those eyes, I… have to stop staring at him like that!’ She turned her gaze back to the herb box as she fumbled through it, looking for the aspirin she normally kept inside. Finding them, she held up the tiny pills.

Shinbe stared at her, mesmerized. She hadn’t tried to castrate him yet, so she must not remember. ‘Why couldn’t she have remembered,’ he silently sighed.

She looked back up at him making eye contact that almost rendered her brain dead for a moment. "Water? Please? You have no idea how gross these are without it."

Shinbe got completely flustered as he watched her mouth the words. Her lips were just so inviting… he could just… he bent down… he looked at the aspirin she held in her hand. Focus.

"Yes, they do look like nasty little things,” he said, eyeing them, even though he had no idea what they were. The door suddenly opened and he guiltily jerked his head around to see Suki and Kamui coming in with the water jug.

Suki eyed Shinbe wearily, "What are you up to, guardian?"

Shinbe backed away wondering if Suki could secretly read his mind or something. She had an uncanny knack for knowing just when he was misbehaving… or at least thinking about it.

"Oh Suki, please pour me some water quickly. The sooner I take this medicine, the sooner I’ll feel better,” Kyoko offered knowing Shinbe hadn’t been doing anything wrong.

‘Kyoko to the rescue!’ Shinbe kept the cheer to himself.

Suki poured some water in her cup and started to chatter on about how Toya was having a tantrum about her not returning early yesterday afternoon.

Shinbe leaned against the wall, watching Kyoko, and half listening to the conversation. "… if he screamed at me one more time, I thought I was going to…" Take you in my arms and kiss you senseless. "… he’s such an arrogant bully…" I want you so bad, Kyoko. "… and the way he treats…" Shinbe fidgeted, wondering how long he could keep his secret, now that he had claimed her. "… isn’t that right, Shinbe?"

‘Huh? Did someone ask him a question?’ Shinbe glanced from Suki to Kyoko as they both stared at him waiting for his response.

Having no clue what they were talking about, he took the safe way out, "Why, yes. I think you’re absolutely right, Suki. If you will excuse me, I have to go speak with Toya.” With that, he quickly escaped out the door.

Suki and Kyoko watched the door close after him, and both girls giggled.

Shinbe made it to the outside of the small structure and quickly leaned forward against the wall. He placed his hands against the cool wood on each side of his head, and then thumped his forehead against the wooden planks. The pain always seemed to help him clear his mind. It was just slow this morning. After last night, he couldn’t get the feelings back under his control. It was worse now than it had ever been.

He really didn’t want to grope Suki so she would hit him, it just didn’t feel right to do so after touching Kyoko’s body. He feared he would never be able to touch another but her again, without wanting to rip his own hand off. He had chosen his mate and she didn’t even know it.

Toya stood about five feet away, watching his brother and feeling waves of guilt wash from him. One of the perks about being a guardian was that you could sense things about those around you like a lie detector from Kyoko’s world.

He cocked a dark eyebrow, "What did you do, grope Suki again?" Toya frowned at his brother, seeing him flinch at his voice.

Shinbe flashed startled, dark violet eyes at Toya and pushed back from the wall, righting himself. "NO! I… well, you see…" Shinbe frowned at his own stuttering. He quickly forced himself to become calm, once again gaining composure. “I was just staying out here so I wouldn’t make any noise and bother Kyoko’s hangover,” he said with a wise edge to his voice, hoping Toya would take the same advice.

Toya growled in the back of his throat, "I still want to know how the hell she wound up drunk. I think I’ll go find out right now." He started to angrily pass him, then stopped when Shinbe reached out and grabbed his arm in a firm grip. Toya scowled down at the opposing hand, wondering what his brother thought he was doing.

Shinbe watched silver highlights leap into Toya's golden eyes and quickly let go of his arm. In a steady voice he ventured, "If I were you, I wouldn’t do that yet, unless you like the taste of floor." He hid his smirk when he sensed Toya's remembrance of the taming spell.

Toya gave his brother a brooding look before turning his back to the door mumbling, "She should know better than to get in that shape to start out with." He suddenly cringed holding his head where Suki had just brained him with her slayers weapon as she stepped out the door behind him.

"Ouch, what the hell was that for?" Toya glared at her.

Suki stood, giving him a ‘You know what that was for’ look. "Don’t be so over protective,” she glared at him, knowing he would never hurt her. “Kyoko told me what happened last night.”

Shinbe felt his life begin to pass before his eyes. He quit breathing, waiting for Toya to kill him.

Suki continued, "Her friends, on the other side of the heart of time, took her to a gathering where there was alcohol,” she paused for effect, “she did not drink anything. Instead, she ate a lot of fruit, only to then find out it had been soaked in very strong alcohol," her lips twitched. "But by then, she was already drunk."

Toya growled and turned, starting to go in and yell at her for her stupidity, but again received a numbing blow from Suki.

"Leave her alone, she just went back to sleep. And I don’t think she will be able to go anywhere today. So I suggest we leave her here to rest. We can search for the crystal talisman without her for one day."

She turned to look at Shinbe, wondering why he was acting so strange. He’d usually tried to grope her at least ten times before noon. "Shinbe, are you all right this morning?" she stepped closer and stared up into his pale face seeing his eyes were a touch overly bright.

Shinbe came back to life when he noticed Suki was close to his face. He quickly took a step back, then it dawned on him what she’d said. He gave a soft sigh, shaking his head, "Actually Suki, no, I’m not feeling too good myself." He didn’t have to fake it either, because as disturbed as he had been since last night, he really felt like he was losing his mind.

Toya scrunched up his nose at his brother, "Yeah, you really do look like crap. Maybe we should leave you here to watch after Kyoko." He then narrowed his eyes on the amethyst guardian. "But if you touch her, she’ll tell me." Knowing his warning had been heard loud and clear, Toya turned back to Suki. "Do you want to go get Kamui, or should I?" he questioned, not really wanting to feel her weapon upside his head again.

Suki shrugged, "I’ll get him. You," She shoved her finger into his chest, “Stay out here.”

Shinbe choked on his laugh trying to keep in mind he was sick. How did he ever pull this one off? As a guardian himself, Toya should know guardians do not get sick… at least he’d never known one to do so. Still… the idea of staying with Kyoko, of being alone with her all day… well, that temptation was just too much.

Shinbe watched Toya glare at Suki's back as she went to get Kamui, but he stayed outside. Within a couple of minutes, Kaen joined them, peeking in the door at Kyoko. Shinbe knew Kaen would watch after Kamui if they ran into any trouble. A guardian for a guardian, he had often teased his younger brother.

Shinbe watched the group until they were out of sight. He felt his body and mind relax for the first time all morning. With a sigh, he turned and went back into the hut where Kyoko was sleeping.

Kyoko stirred in her semi-sleep, her mind drifting to the night before. Back to the party, trying to spend what little time she had in her world with Tasuki. She really missed him because this world took up so much of her time. She’d been so focused on him that she hadn’t even realized the fruit was tainted until it was too late. She pouted, wondering if Tasuki had known the whole time.

She didn’t remember much about making it back to the maiden shrine, or back here to the hut for that matter. She did remember some of the dream she’d had though… Shinbe. Kyoko slid in and out of sleep, her thoughts continued as if they didn’t care whether she was awake or not.

She’d always liked Shinbe because out of their small little group, he was the most fun of the guardians to be around. And he could always make her laugh without even trying. He was not the type of guy who would settle on just one woman though. Obviously he had issues. But lately she had started seeing him in a different light.

Kyoko tossed in her sleep. It just wasn’t fair. She loved Toya deeply, but he seldom gave her a glimmer of feelings back. Now Shinbe, on the other hand, was a different story. When Toya would yell at her for little things, Shinbe always seemed to try to make her feel better.

It was almost as if the worse Toya acted, the sweeter Shinbe would become, but he acted as if it was nothing but friendship. Sometimes she wondered about him, and that was probably what had led to the dreams she’d started having of him. Up until last night, her dreams had stayed within the limits of sanity. Last night’s dream had gone way out of control.

She knew Toya loved her in his own way, and would probably even die for her, but he refused to show her his true feelings. She knew him getting angry so easily, and bossing her around was just his way of hiding the fact that he cared about her. Sometimes, he hid his feelings so well, that she almost believed him. Still, she found herself comparing the two men. She was always around Shinbe and Toya, and both guardians had their good and bad points.

When dreaming of Toya kissing her, it was always soft and sweet, only sometimes turning heated. With Shinbe, it was always different. Way different. She thought of herself as a woman when dreaming of Shinbe. In those dreams, he kissed her in places unimaginable, and did things to her body that she never thought could feel so good.

She sighed in her sleep. But they were only dreams… Kyoko curled up into a ball and shivered at the memory of last night’s dream. Her body trembling beneath his as he made mad passionate love to her… she whimpered at the memory. Dreaming of Shinbe like that, almost made her feel like she was cheating on Toya.

'No!’ she told her mind, 'Toya has never been my boyfriend. Therefore I do not have one, and so long as it’s in my mind, I can think anything I want… including in my dreams.'

The dream had been so stimulating that when she awoke, she felt like she would just melt. When she saw him sitting there against the wall, as if nothing had happened, that alone confirmed it being only a dream. What was going on in her head? She had to get a grip. Shinbe could never love some inexperienced, little girl like herself. He was obviously a man of the world, who had probably conquered more women in one night than she could count on both hands. She squeezed her eyes shut refusing to think anything else.

Shinbe had come back into the hut relaxed and calm… until his eyes fell on her sleeping form. His whole body stilled and he stood there, just watching her for a few minutes. He saw her shivering, lying on the thin mat. Why didn’t she still have the cover he’d placed across her last night? He glanced over to where she had shoved the cover out of the way while dealing with Toya.

He silently crept over and covered her with the thick blanket and stayed beside her as she continued her restless sleep. ‘Why did he have to feel this way?’ he sighed as he sat down, leaning against the wall, watching her. He knew the answer to that. ‘Shinbe, the guy that everyone took as a joke when it came to women, had fallen in love with a girl from another time.’

He stared at her longingly and then pressed his lips together. She was going to kill him when she realized it wasn’t a dream. Toya was going to kill him too. Could he die twice for such a crime?

Slumping his shoulders Shinbe sighed again, ‘Yeah… about Toya.’ Kyoko was in love with his hot tempered brother. He could feel the guilt creeping up his spine. ‘Why did she have to fall for the one who would never treat her right?’ He would love her with everything he had. So what if he had a little curse on himself. That shouldn’t be too weird. After all, Kyoko had told them about her grandfather and his belief in curses, and demons. ‘Damn, Toya.’

Kyoko murmured in her sleep. He glanced up to see she’d rolled over with her back to him. The blanket he had placed around her had slipped off. The skimpy skirt she wore had flipped up, exposing her most precious asset. A shiver coursed through his body. ‘So… freakin tempting.’

His hand reached out to caress the silky white material that obstructed his view further. He gritted his teeth, pulling his hand back before his fingers made contact. ‘Ah, so close. But so is death, and I’d like to live a little longer.’ he gave a snort of laughter as he tucked his hands inside his coat. He had to watch what he did from here on out, or his life could end a little sooner than he anticipated.

He would tell her the truth in a minute, if she weren’t in love with his brother. He knew he wasn’t alone in his feelings for her. She was their priestess, and they protected her with their life. All of his brothers loved her dearly, each in their own way. But Toya was different. Toya never liked anyone. Shinbe had seen it. Toya was deeply in love with Kyoko, even if he wouldn’t acknowledge it.

Shinbe closed his eyes, feeling them start to burn. He had no right to love Kyoko, or anyone else for that matter. He had the ability to save them all in battle. All he had to do was cast the spell of time, and he could create a void that sucked up everything in its path. It was his greatest power, and his worst enemy. Every time he used the dangerous spell, he could feel it getting stronger.

Everyone had warned him not to use it unless he had no other choice because one day it would become too strong for him to handle, and turn on him. The spell had been a gift from his uncle… the same uncle that was the enemy. At first he had thought it was a grand gift, but now he realized it wasn’t a gift at all. It was a curse. One he would use to destroy the very one who had given it to him… even if he lost his own life in the process.

Shinbe yawned. He had gotten almost no sleep last night, before, nor after Kyoko had come back. He’d spent most of the evening listening to Toya rant because she hadn’t come back through the heart of time before dark like she promised.

At first, Shinbe had worried that she was still mad at Toya when she hadn’t come back. She’d screamed at Toya before leaving because he’d tried to keep her from going back to her time. Toya had even stood in front of her, blocking her from the maiden shrine. In the end, she wound up putting that spell on him numerous times, more times than Shinbe was able to keep count of. But she’d promised to come back before dark the next day.

Shinbe smirked remembering how Toya had fought the spell, cursing all the while about what he was going to do to Kyoko when he was able to move again.

His gaze roamed over Kyoko’s form. This is why he found her so irresistible. She could be angry with Toya one minute, and love him the next. She held no grudge, no matter how much he hurt her.

When Toya had first met her, he’d tried to kill her. Now things had changed, everyone knew that Toya loved her to death, would even die for her. But still he pretended he couldn’t stand her and it often hurt her feelings. It was just Toya’s way of hiding his heart.

Shinbe placed his fingers over the bridge of his nose, trying to ease his mind. Honestly, he felt bad for Toya, and didn’t really intend on thinking bad things about him. It’s just that Toya had a chance with Kyoko and ignored it.

He would have died for a chance like that. He’d treat her like a queen, if only she would let him. That’s the reason he lost it last night. The truth was, last night he’d just snapped. Now, after last night... Shinbe squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe she was better off with Toya, after the way he had betrayed her innocence.