Nora's Pride

Well, she’d lived with those consequences, sacrificing herself to them. She would not feel guilty about decisions made a dozen years ago. The specters of youthful dreams and promises could lurk and linger in that bank of trees. She was in control of her life and would remain so.

Yeah, right, she thought. If she was in so much control, why did she feel eighteen, perched on the slippery precipitous edge of ruin once again? She could still recall the sweat trickling down her back that hot summer day when she had told Abigail. She had been so scared her aunt would turn against her in disgust. After all, wasn’t she just like her mother? Pregnant with no husband? But Abigail had opened her arms and her heart once more.

Now the father of her child had returned. What had he meant by his I’ll be seeing you around? Did he think he could take up where he left off?

She lightly thumped her brow against the wheel. Right now she needed to pull herself together before she met with her law firm’s newest source of income. Nora raised her head and studied the farmhouse. It was a big box of a place, two-story, with a steep-pitched roof and central chimney. Snuggled against the forest’s edge, the dwelling bore its dingy white siding, peeling forest-green shutters and dilapidated wraparound porch with quiet dignity. Yet, in the harsh noon light, its high narrow windows glistened, no doubt due to a recent application of elbow grease and glass cleaner. A sign of hope.

Hope, in the form of whoever owned the outrageous Ford F-350 parked in front. Big, bad and black—every boy and man’s fantasy pickup, topped off with gleaming chrome wheels and bumpers, an extended cab and dark-tinted glass. She would bet a dollar the interior was a wicked red leather.

Clean windows and made-for-sin truck. What kind of a man had Ed Miller left his spread to? She wouldn’t find any answers sitting there. Nora got out of the car and grabbed her leather portfolio. Hugging it close to her body, she hesitated. She couldn’t resist—she had to know. In case the owner was watching from inside the house, she made her way around the clearing, out of sight of the house, to the truck. She took a quick peek inside. Her lips curved. Yep, red-hot leather interior.

A muttered oath came from the far side of the building. Nora stepped carefully over the dirt surface to the grass, mentally ignoring the fact that her good leather pumps were sinking into the soggy turf.

She looked up, and stopped still. What once had been an expanse of green lawn was now freshly turned earth with roped-off areas. Shallow ditches contained pipes leading to one section, while nearby, a tarp covered huge translucent panels. Ed Miller’s pride and joy, a battered old American Harvester tractor, stood to one side, hitched to a tiller. But it was the moving forms that captured Nora’s attention.

A giant dog, its long black fur gleaming with a reddish sheen, picked up a stone, padded across the soil and dropped the rock on a pile at the side. Then it turned its massive head and studied Nora with chocolate-brown eyes. Nora braced herself to call for help, but the animal, with a smooth rhythmic gait, returned to the churned earth, sat and waited.

By the dog’s side worked a shirtless man, his back to her. The man’s powerful, well-muscled body moved with graceful ease as he yanked loose a large stone and tossed it toward the pile. He stretched to scratch the dog behind its ear. When he bent over once more to grip another rock, Nora spotted a tantalizing glimpse of even more skin. Sun-kissed flesh. All over his hard body. The image sizzled, so hot she almost unfastened the top button of her shirt. She gasped softly for air.

The man shot up and spun around. “What’s the matter, Nora? Having a hot flash?” Squinting against the sun, Connor grinned, slowly and wickedly.

Belatedly Nora spotted the motorcycle parked nearby.

Flash, no. Conflagration, yes. The boy she had known had grown up. Damp burnished hair covered the solid wall of his chest, tapering across his flat stomach before disappearing below his belt line. She glanced downward…and caught herself. Her cheeks burning, Nora cast a veiled look at Connor.

“So the ice goddess has mortal thoughts, after all.” His expression was dark, hungry. His eyes slid down her body, moving languidly, assessing her in turn. She shivered under his intense scrutiny.

Forgotten feelings, long frozen, sparked, flickered and spread like wildfire inside her. Want, need, desire. Too long leashed, they shot victoriously to her core.

Nora put a trembling hand over her abdomen. She yearned to touch all that glorious golden skin, slide her palms over the faint sheen of sweat on those wide shoulders. Connor’s strangled sound, half growl, half longing, summoned her. His intense gaze drew her in like a powerful undertow, ever closer to his heat. She felt she would incinerate if she didn’t break free. Summoning all her resolve, she wrenched her gaze away. She glanced at her watch. Ten minutes past twelve. The time was as effective as a cold shower on her roiling emotions.

Oh, Lord, what was she doing? The Miller heir could come outside any second.

“Put your shirt on,” she snapped. Rushing to where it was draped over a twisted tree stump, she picked it up and tossed it to him. “The new owner is a client of my firm, and I don’t want him imagining any funny business going on.”

The dog rose slowly; the movement edged her back a step. Connor placed a hand on the animal’s broad head and murmured, “She’s okay, Bran.” With that reassurance, the dog turned, picked up a small rock with its mouth and moved toward the pile.

Connor swiped the shirt across his brow without putting it on. “What’s wrong, Nora?” he asked, all innocence.

She gritted her teeth. “Nothing’s wrong. I just prefer my first meeting with my client to remain professional rather than Chippendales.”

Connor arched an eyebrow. “Somehow I think there’s a backhanded compliment in there.”

Nora stomped her foot. “Just put on your shirt.”

“Only if it will make you more comfortable, honey.” He slowly, very slowly, pulled it on, then raked his fingers through his hair.

She scanned the back of the house. “What are you doing here?” She recalled a comment her boss had made earlier in the week about employing cleaning help for the homestead. “Did Charlie hire you to do repairs?” Maybe she should go to the front entrance and knock.

“Can’t see the present for the past, can you?”

Before Nora realized what was happening, Connor stepped up and took her hand. “I’m the new owner.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Wha-what did you say?” Her voice was barely a whisper, so fragile it cracked.

“Ed Miller left me the farm.”

Realizing he still held her hand, she tugged it free. “How can that be possible? Why you?”

Connor shrugged, bent down and plucked a wild flower from a tall spiky plant. He slipped the deep-red blossom through a hole on the lapel of her jacket. “Remember how I used to work summers and weekends for Mr. Miller?”

She nodded and fingered the flower. The memory of another time, another flower, pierced her heart.

“Yes, I remember.”

A white rose. The last night she had been with Connor, he had given her the snow-white bud. Her first flower from a boy. Her hands had trembled, and she’d pricked her finger. He had cupped her hand, sucking gently on the drop of blood, his mouth warm and tantalizing against her skin.

Nora closed her eyes and clamped down on her rioting emotions. No, she would not let his spontaneous gesture of picking a flower weaken her resolve. She lifted her head, opened her eyes.

Connor shoved his hands into his jean pockets. “Ed and his wife never had any kids of their own, and none of his relatives cared about the farm. He used to complain about that while we were out in the field.” For a moment he smiled with the memory. Then his expression became remote. “Anyway, after Ed passed away, Barnett contacted me and said the old man had left everything in my trust.”

Nora took a deep calming breath. Perhaps he’d only returned to sell the spread. “But there’s barely any money with the estate, just the land. How are you going to pay the property taxes? Or are you selling it as soon as you can?”

Anger flaring in his eyes, Connor went from relaxed to battle alert. Nora took a half step back before stopping herself.

“You sure have changed, haven’t you, Nora? Prepared to think the worst of me like everyone else in this town.” She heard the pain rippling beneath the ice in his voice.

She had hurt him. Funny, she’d always thought no one could penetrate Connor’s armor. The boy she hadn’t understood was now a man she didn’t know. She flushed and gestured, indicating the farm. “But it’s 165 acres.”

Connor hitched his shoulders slightly. “So?” His tone was belligerent. “Do you think I can’t afford it? Pastor Devlin’s no-account son ran off to be a failure?”

His accusation hit Nora squarely. He was right. Part of her wanted to believe the worst about him. How else could she reconcile the cold truth that he hadn’t told her he was leaving, hadn’t contacted her in all this time?

She narrowed her eyes. “How should I know? How would I know anything about you? You left this town and didn’t look back, remember?” He hadn’t been there for her during those moments of terrifying need. Pain may have lost its sharp edge, but resentment could still carve deep.

She drew in a steadying breath before continuing. “You didn’t write, you didn’t call. For all I knew, you were dead.”

Liar, her inner voice whispered. If something had happened to him, you would have felt it.

Surprise flickered in his eyes. His smile mocked her. “I’m sure my mother would have broadcast the glad tidings of my death.” He paused, his face hardening. “Besides, wouldn’t it have been awkward if I called? The husband you snagged the moment I left might have objected.”

Nora blinked. That wasn’t the tale she and Aunt Abigail had molded. When had the lie of a college misadventure transmuted into one of marriage? Like a kaleidoscope, the fragments of her life shifted and formed a new realization. She almost staggered under its weight.

There was not going to be any escape from this quandary. She was going to have to tell him the truth. Then the town would hear. And…

Abby. Oh, God, what would the news do to her daughter? When Abby had been old enough to ask questions, Nora had spun the story of an ill-fated college romance and her decision to have the baby. If told the truth, would Connor disappear again? What would that do to Abby?

No. She needed more time to assess the man standing before her. Her daughter’s future was at stake.

She drew herself up, summoned her reserve of calm and looked straight at him. “You’re mistaken. I was never married.”

“But she told me…” His eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Your daughter, Abby,” he said carefully. “Is she…?”

Her heart hammered so loudly she feared he would hear it. She affected a nonchalant shrug. “The result of a failed romance. I met this boy and fell in love, but he wasn’t ready to become a man. He left me, and I’ve never heard from him since.”

God help her, she couldn’t resist the taunt that hissed up from her turbulent emotions. “Leaving town rather than facing responsibility seems to be a male proclivity.”

Connor’s expression darkened. His hands lashed out and yanked her against his body, his fingers digging into her shoulders.

“How dare you compare me to him!” His arms slid around her like a vise. “Didn’t what we shared mean anything to you?”

It had meant everything to her. “No.”

He drew her closer. They were flesh to flesh. Her senses overflowed with him. He was earth and sweat, muscle and power. Heat. Roaring, incendiary heat. She couldn’t inhale without breathing in his scent.

“No?” He lowered his head. “Then it won’t mean anything if you kiss me.”

“Cut it out.” She spread her hands against his muscled chest.

“Why?” His breath fanned her face. “It’s only a kiss.”

An image flashed into her mind, of her intoxicated mother giggling as she tussled with her latest leering paramour. He had pawed her mother, saying, “Give me a kiss, Tess.” After a few coy protests, her mother had lustily complied. “Get rid of the kids,” the man had ordered as he staggered into their mother’s bedroom. Tess had dragged the girls into their room, with Nora fighting all the way because they hadn’t eaten.

The snick of the closet-door lock. The taste of fear.

“Nora, take it easy. Look at me.”

With a start, Nora realized she was struggling in his arms.

“Breathe,” he ordered.

Shame smothered her panic and she stilled.

“Are you okay?” He eased his grip. She fought to take a normal breath. With a light touch, he ran his hands up and down her arms. Her tension ebbed with each stroke; in its place drifted comfort and something else…a stirring of the blood. She sighed.

“Nora?” Connor bent down and pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry for upsetting you, honey.”

Flustered, Nora stepped back. Too many secrets prevented even this closeness. “Thanks. I’m fine.”

Connor dropped his hands. “All right.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Look. I’m…sorry for what I said about Abby’s father.” Nora almost smiled. She didn’t recall him ever apologizing, let alone twice in one conversation.

“What’s done is done. I have no business prying.” He bent down, picked up her briefcase and handed it to her. His fingertips brushed hers, sending another ripple of warmth through her.

The dog appeared at his side, and Connor absently ruffled his head.

Nora eyed the beast. “Big dog.”

“He’s a Newfoundland. Bran—” he gestured at her “—I want you to meet Nora.”

On cue, the dog lifted his right paw. Nora knelt and solemnly shook it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bran.” It was all the encouragement Bran needed. He surged forward and gave her a generous lick on her face, the force of it knocking her backward. Only Connor’s hands under her arms saved her from a close encounter with the churned soil. With an ease that left her humming, Connor righted her. For a moment they stood, flushed face to flushed face.

Connor looked away first. “So.” In fascination she watched the flex of the muscle along his lean jaw. “Why don’t I show you how I plan to turn this place into a landscaping and nursery outlet, and what I’m going to need in terms of legal know-how?”

Lost in a whirlpool of emotions and questions, Nora tried to catch hold of the conversation. “What outlet?”

“The Primal Rose.” Connor turned and smiled with undisguised pride. “Follow me.” He gestured toward the fields.

Just like old times, Nora mused. Picking up her briefcase, she caught the now-crushed flower in her lapel.

Connor Devlin was starting a business here. He really had come home to stay.

Oh, God, what was she going to do?

Chapter Three

Late Saturday night Nora’s flashlight cast a thin yellow line into the dark forest that ran between her house and the Miller farm. No branches rattled, no animals rustled. It was not a night for anything living to be about, yet the whispers of memories drew her deeper into the woods.

A cloak of clouds pressed close to the treetops. The still shroud smothered the night sky, rendering it flat. It was as if there were only two planes—the clouds and the earth—and all that dared to intervene did so at their peril.

Panic’s wings stirred and fluttered, but Nora kept her gaze glued to the faint illumination. Each step along this path covered a moment of her life: a child’s escape from nightmares; a teenager’s captivation with adventure; a woman’s dreams shattered by heartache.

She remembered the first weekend after she and her sisters had arrived in Arcadia Heights. A snowstorm had dressed the bleak landscape in a white glittering cape. In wonderment, Nora had stood at the edge of the yard, outfitted in her new red winter coat. Familiar only with the ins and outs of city apartments, she hadn’t known what lay beyond the sentry of trees.

Aunt Abigail had found her and had coaxed her into the forest. At this bend Nora had encountered her first deer, a doe with soulful brown eyes. On that old pine tree, Abigail had shown her how moss grew. Nora had taken to the woods, transfixed by this mysterious new world. It was on one of her daily excursions that she’d discovered her special retreat.

Still, her visits had been restricted to daylight. Only one person had drawn her out into the night and shown her its unique magic.

Connor Devlin.

With him, the trees had rubbed their branches in harmony to the lake’s soft music. With him, there had been no twilight fear, just the thrill of laughter and freedom. When he had left, the darkness once more had ceased to be safe. She had not ventured into the night again. Until now.

This Saturday evening, penitence drove her past the good memories to those hidden in the blackest shadows. Guilt lingered on the edge of her conscience, out of sight but not out of mind. All her life she had stood tall, but shame had almost brought her to her knees this afternoon. Still, she hadn’t told Connor about Abby. Couldn’t—not when so many questions remained unanswered.

Who was this man who had fathered her daughter? Would he become a part of his child’s life? Or would he desert her the way he had deserted her mother?

Abby. She’d never known abandonment, never felt the fear. For her a closet was just a place to hang clothes; sunset was merely the end of a day. Her daughter didn’t know the bitter bite of betrayal. She didn’t know about the monsters that came with nightfall.

But Nora did.

The flashlight beam hit a wall of brush, and she halted. The path broke into two long dark tunnels. One led to the Miller farm, the other to the lake. She glanced to her left, and her breath hitched. Rather than a corridor of trees, she saw a never-ending closet, ink-black with no means of escape.

Was the pounding in her ears her heart beating? Or the sound of a terrified child’s fists against a locked door?

A small whimper welled in her throat and broke past her clenched teeth. Nora spun around and ran back toward the only real home she’d ever known.

The cry of pain brought Bran to an alert stance and Connor to a stop. Was it animal or human? Then he heard soft footfalls ahead of him and to his left. He hefted the large flashlight, securing his grip on it, and rushed forward, the dog in an easy lope beside him. When he reached the fork, he panned the beam along the path leading to the McCall house.

Nothing. Several inches of pine needles covered the trail. There were disturbed areas, but he couldn’t tell whether they were recent.

He hesitated. He should mind his own business and continue to the lake as he had planned. He shook his head and then set off along the trail away from the water. It was probably only a kid on a lark, but he should check the situation out. Arcadia Heights might be far removed from the city, but crime had a way of finding the innocent everywhere. With four women living next door, it would be neighborly to scout the area.

Right. And someone would sell him a rosebush to plant in the Alaskan tundra.

Within minutes he reached the perimeter of the McCall yard. A figure stepped into the golden pool of light thrown by the porch light. Nora. What had she been doing in the woods?

Connor started to call out but stopped. What would they have to talk about? Discussing business with an attractive woman at nine o’clock on a Saturday night would be grim. The cold snap of the air and the hushed silence of the woods called for cuddling by the lake, not business.

His mouth curved in self-mockery. Given Nora’s “I’m attorney, you client” attitude she’d worn this afternoon, he had a snowflake’s chance in hell of getting close to her. He turned.

“Who’s out there?” Nora’s voice wobbled and then firmed.

Damn. He had forgotten to switch off his flashlight. Connor sighed and called out. “It’s just me, Nora.”

“Connor?” She came to the porch’s edge.

He crossed the yard and halted at the base of the steps. “I was taking a walk in the woods and heard a sound. I was checking it out when I saw you.”

“Oh.” Nora wrapped her arms around her middle. “Well, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Abby likes to wander in the woods. I hope that won’t disturb you.”

Memories of another teenage girl in the forest ran through his mind. He braced his foot on the lower step while Bran took off to explore. “Like mother, like daughter.”

A faint smile lit her face, as if a lamp glowed deep within her. “No, Abby is much more adventurous than I was. Sweeter. Stronger.” Nora’s eyes were smoky crystals, luminous with a mother’s pride.

A thorny mix of regret and envy twisted within him, scraping him raw. It was if he was looking at a scrapbook of his life and finding empty pages. Where there should be pictures of a family, there were none. His father had been killed in a car accident before he was born, and his mother had wished he’d never been born. What would it be like to share a child with Nora?

Connor shoveled his fingers through his hair. Nora already had a child, and Abby wasn’t his. He hadn’t returned to Arcadia Heights to start over; he was here to pay off an old debt.

It was sure going to be hard to keep telling himself that lie whenever he was in Nora’s presence. The warm porch light drew interesting shadows on her features, especially that one tempting hollow along her collarbone left exposed by her jacket.

He had risked much to face his past so that he could move forward. What was one more gamble?

He advanced a step and indicated the stand of trees between their homes. “You appear to have conquered your night fears.”

Nora’s smile slipped. “Appearances are what I do best.” She backed away.

The cryptic remark irked him. Her movement away from him irked him more. “Nora, wait.” He bolted up the remaining steps.

She lifted her chin with the kind of hauteur designed to keep a man at twenty paces. “What is it?”

A splash from the flashlight betrayed her nervousness. The wind reached into the porch’s shelter and teased loose a few strands of her hair. He lifted his hand and touched the silken tendrils. Her hair was as cool and soft as he remembered it. Would her skin feel the same?

He traced his fingertips along the elegant line of her jaw, feeling her tremble. She pulled her head away from his touch, but he captured her chin and lifted her face to his. Was it just wishful thinking, or was it desire he now saw darkening her eyes? There was only one way to find out. He lowered his head and covered her mouth with his.

He had meant the kiss to be a mere brush of the lips, but he couldn’t help himself. He lingered, tasting the sweetness of her mouth. Then, when she softened against him and sighed, he deepened the kiss.

And unleashed a pulsing urgency inside him to make Nora his again. He slid a hand around her waist and jerked her against him, hard.

In an instant Nora’s body went from soft to brittle. She wrenched away. Her kiss-reddened lips quivered briefly before she pressed them together.

Connor silently cursed himself. He treated his plants with more care than he had handled her, especially after her panic this afternoon. With a tremendous effort, he yanked a leash around his careening need.

“Sorry, Nora. I didn’t mean to be so intense.”

She crossed her arms over her breasts. Her protective gesture drove a heavy fist of guilt into his stomach. He steeled himself for the stinging rebuke he deserved.

“It’s okay.”

Her words were so low he wasn’t sure he heard them. “What?”

She rubbed her arms as if chilled. His blood was still so hot he felt as if steam must be rolling off him. She looked him square in the eye.

“Connor, I’m a woman, not the teenager you remember.” She said softly, almost to herself, “I’m not sure I was ever that teenager.” She gave a shrug. “I know all too well about physical needs and desires.”