The Bad Son

Was that it? Was it safer as friends? That way she could never be hurt again. She nuzzled Freckles. With animals it was so simple. You shower them with love and attention and they return it tenfold. There were no feelings of rejection—the way it should be with humans.

She’d given her father her love and he’d walked out on them without one word of explanation. He wasn’t happy. Big deal. She never would understand that. How could a man turn his back on his wife? His daughters?

Allen had done the same thing, she reminded herself. He’d left, but at least she’d known why. She was less than perfect and he didn’t want a flawed wife. Tears stung her eyes and she resolutely refused to cry.

Freckles purred and she cuddled her. Would she ever trust a man again? Probably not. But she trusted Beau. That felt strange to her, especially since she’d sworn off men for the rest of her life. Beau was different, though. She knew him inside and out and he was wonderful and nice and sometimes too damn handsome for his own good. He made her laugh and he made her feel good about herself. Then why had she never told him that?

Fear. Like monsters under the bed. You know they’re not there, but when it’s dark and the silence mingles with your breath, your mind believes. If she told Beau her true feelings, the light would come on and expose her for the woman she was. A woman a husband couldn’t love. A young girl a father couldn’t love. She couldn’t take anymore rejections—especially not from Beau.

So where did that leave them? Friends.

As that thought warmed her heart, Beau jogged to his condo. She watched until he disappeared up the walk. Sweat poured down his face and his breathing was labored. She didn’t need to be close to him to know that. That’s the way he was every time they ran and she teased him about his age. He teased her about her frizzy hair. They laughed a lot. Macy needed that and a part of her knew that she needed Beau.

Would she ever be able to tell him? Would she ever be able to expose the monster under her bed?

CHAPTER TWO

BEAU TOOK A QUICK shower, pulled on pajama bottoms, grabbed bottled water out of the refrigerator, and flopped onto the sofa. He wasn’t hungry so he didn’t bother with food. Picking up the remote control, he found a basketball game and settled in for the night. He kept his mind a blank, concentrating on the plays instead of what he had to do tomorrow—tell Macy goodbye.

The sound of the phone ringing woke him. Opening one eye, he looked at his watch—2:00 a.m. Who was calling this late? He quickly clicked off the TV and yanked up the phone.

“Beau, Delia’s in labor. Could you please drive us to the hospital? I’m too nervous.”

“Sure,” he answered without a second thought. “I’ll bring the car to your front door. Be there in a minute.”

He slipped into jeans and a T-shirt. Within minutes he was parked in front of Macy’s condo. She came out holding on to Delia and Beau hurried to help. He hadn’t seen Delia in a while and she looked as bad as he’d ever seen her.

“Hey, Beau,” Delia said in between groans.

“Delia.” He took her arm. “Doesn’t look like you’re feeling too good.”

“Got knocked up. Can you believe that?” A desperate laugh escaped on a moan.

“Yep.”

Delia laughed. “At least you’re honest.” She clutched her stomach and cried out in pain. Between the two of them they managed to get Delia into the backseat. Macy sat with her and Beau crawled into the driver’s seat. They sped toward the nearest emergency room.

Delia continued to scream with pain.

“Take deep breaths,” Macy instructed.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Delia snapped. “You know I hate it when you do that. And I’m not in labor. It’s too early.” She let out an earth-shattering scream that said otherwise. “Dammit. I can’t have this baby now. Macy, do something. You’re a nurse. Make it stop.”

“We’ll be at the hospital in a minute,” Macy replied in a calm voice, but Beau caught a thread of panic in her tone.

“I can’t have this baby now. Macy, do you hear me?”

“Yes. People three blocks away can hear you. Calm down.”

“Dammit, this hurts.”

Beau pulled into the emergency area and a nurse was waiting with a wheelchair. Evidently Macy had called ahead. Smart woman.

“Beau, thanks,” Macy called as the nurse wheeled Delia away.

He drove around, looking for a parking spot. What was he doing? He should go home and let Macy handle her own life. When he left for Dallas, she would have to. This is where he drew the fictional line in the sand. This is where he walked away.

But Beau had learned something about himself. He couldn’t leave a person in need. His mother raised him to be kind and caring and he wasn’t the type to abandon a friend.

He hated himself for that—for caring too much. Nice guys finished last. Isn’t that what they said?

In the maternity ward, he looked around but didn’t see them. A door opened and Macy, dressed in scrubs, came out talking to a doctor. She noticed him and immediately came over.

“Beau, I thought you’d gone home.”

“No. I wanted to make sure Delia was okay.”

“As much as she denies it, she’s in labor. She’s dilated ten centimeters and it shouldn’t be much longer.”

“Isn’t the baby early?”

“Yes. But who knows? Delia could be further along than she realizes.” Macy tucked a stand of hair behind her ear. Beau noticed her hair was tamed and clipped behind her head. “I’ve asked about the father and all she’ll say is that he’s not in the picture anymore.”

“That explains why she showed up at your house.”

“Mmm.”

“She knows you’ll take care of her and the baby.”

“Yeah. She keeps muttering something about a plan and I don’t have a clue what she’s talking about. When I ask about her plans for the baby, she gets angry.” She glanced toward the hall. “They’re giving her an epidural so I better get back in there. I want to be present when the baby arrives.”

“I’ll wait out here.”

She gave a warm smile that felt as soothing as a towel fresh from the dryer. “Go home. I’m sorry I bothered you, but I didn’t know who else to call.”

“No problem.” He eased onto a sofa in the waiting area. “Let me know when the baby comes.”

“Beau…”

“What?”

“Go home. You can’t rest here.”

“I’ve slept on worse.” He leaned his head on the cushion. “Go back to your sister.”

“You’re a special man, Beau McCain.”

“Mmm.” He closed his eyes. “I’ll remind you of that one of these days.”

Her lips brushed his forehead and his eyes flew open. The scent of her filled his nostrils—lilacs and fresh soap—and for a moment he was lost in the sensation. But damn, his mother kissed him like that. He didn’t want those kind of kisses from Macy. He wanted the real thing.

Macy disappeared around the corner and he made himself as comfortable as he could on the hardest sofa he’d ever slept on. He stared up at the ceiling, sleep the furthest thing from his mind. Here he was with Macy because that’s where he wanted to be. He blew out a hard breath, knowing he was in so deep that putting distance between himself and Macy was not going to make a difference.

Why was he trying to fool himself?

BEAU NAPPED ON AND OFF. At six he stretched and went in search of coffee. A nurse finally gave him a cup. As he sipped it, he saw Macy down the hall talking to a doctor. He walked over and realized she wasn’t talking, but arguing in a way he’d never seen her do before.

“I insist you run a full battery of tests,” she was saying.

“I’ve been doing this a long time and in my opinion I feel it’s unnecessary,” the doctor replied.

“I want the tests done,” Macy repeated in a stubborn voice Beau knew well. Evidently the doctor did, too.

“Fine, Macy. Just calm down and let me do my job.” The doctor strolled away to the nursery.

“What’s wrong?” Beau asked.

“The birth went smoothly and the baby seemed fine. But when we checked her in the nursery we detected a low-pitched intermittent inspiratory sound. Dr. Pender feels it’s stridor which we see in some newborns.”

“And he doesn’t feel it’s anything serious?”

“No.” Her chin jutted out.

“And you do?”

“Yes. Something’s wrong. I know it is.” Her voice wavered slightly.

“What do you think it is?”

“Her heart. Dr. Pender feels I’m overreacting. I told him how our sister died from an atrial septal defect when she was two days old but he thinks I’m just being paranoid.” She paced back and forth in agitation. Beau had never seen her quite like this. She didn’t trust the doctor and he wondered why.

He caught her by the forearms and stopped her. “Calm down and take a deep breath. They’ll run the tests and find out for sure.”

“I suppose.” She drew in deeply several times. “The baby is so tiny, a little over five pounds.”

“But otherwise healthy?”

“Yes. Her blood sugar is fine and there’s no fluid on her lungs.”

But he heard a note of distrust again. “Then trust him.” Her expression didn’t change. “I need another cup of coffee. Come with me to the cafeteria.”

“No. I want to be here for the baby.”

Beau took her elbow. “Let the doctor do his job, and you need a break. We’ll only be gone a minute.”

She removed her scrubs without a word of protest and followed him to the elevator. In the cafeteria, she took a seat and he ordered the coffee. This early the place was empty except for two nurses in a corner. He noticed a couple of boxes of fresh donuts that had just been delivered.

Macy loved donuts. It was her weakness. He paid for two and carried them with the coffee to the table.

She looked at the donuts, then at him. “Are you trying to make me fat?”

“Impossible.” He took a seat. “You burn off more energy than anyone I know. These are to cheer you up.”

“You’re eating one.” She made a face at him.

“Deal.”

She dipped one into her coffee and ate it delicately, like a child. He enjoyed watching her. She licked the icing from her lips and eyed the half-eaten donut on his plate. “Aren’t you finishing that?”

He pushed it across to her. “You can have it.” It was common for them to eat off each other’s plates and he considered if maybe they were too comfortable with each other. Maybe there was no excitement or mystery left. He didn’t believe that, though. A whole new dimension of emotions was just waiting for them, if only she’d let it happen.

She finished it in record time and wiped her mouth. “Now I feel better. I’ll be on a sugar high for the rest of the day, but I’m better.”

Sipping his coffee, Beau turned his thoughts to something else. “Why don’t you trust the doctor?”

She looked at him over the rim of her cup. His eyes were dark and warm, like the coffee, and just as stimulating. Now was the time to tell him her secret, her insecurities and her fears. Something held her back. She trusted him more than anyone, but she still wasn’t ready to expose the monster under her bed.

“I guess I’m too closely involved.”

“She’s your sister.”

She nodded. “I know what you’re going to say—not to get emotionally attached because Delia and the baby could be gone tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

She twisted her cup. “It’s not easy for me. My parents turned their backs on Delia. I can’t do that. I have to be here for her and the baby.”

“I know.” He drained his cup.

She reached out and ran the back of her hand across his cheek, feeling his stubble against her sensitive fingers.

He rubbed his jaw. “I need a shave.”

“I like it.”

“Really?”

“Sure. You’re like a rugged he-man you see in the magazines.” But Beau looked better than any man she’d ever seen in a magazine because he had a kind heart and a loving soul.

“You like those type of men?”

She grinned. “I’ll never tell.” She pushed back her chair. “I better get back to Delia. She’s probably awake by now.”

He followed her to the elevator. “Think I’ll go home, shower and change.”

“Would you mind checking on my gang and make sure they have enough food? And if you have time, let them out for a few minutes.” Beau had a key to her house and often checked on her animals.

“Okay. I’ll be back later.” He strolled away with his smooth, easy strides and she watched him with a heavy heart. She had to do something about their relationship and soon.

THE TIME SEEMED TO CRAWL as the baby was undergoing tests. Macy paced and watched the clock. Finally she went to Delia’s room. She was awake, drinking juice.

“How are you?” Macy asked.

“Sore from head to toe and ready to get out of this place. The doctor said the baby’s undergoing some tests. What’s wrong?”

“She’s making a squeaky sound when she breathes. They’re trying to determine the cause.”

“Dammit. I can’t even have a kid right. What the hell am I going to do with a sick baby? Macy, what am I going to do? I can’t handle this.”

Macy tucked Delia’s hair behind her ears and love for her sister filled her heart. So many memories surfaced from Delia’s childhood. Macy, help me. Don’t tell Mom and Dad. Just one small favor. I love you, Macy. And Macy never said no. She would always be there for Delia.

“Just love her,” Macy said simply.

Delia squirmed in the bed. “I don’t know how to do that. Macy, please help me.”

“You know I will. I’ll show you how to take care of her. I’ll show you everything.”

“I don’t think I can. I just can’t do it.”

She knew Delia was confused and overwhelmed at the enormous responsibility, not to mention that her hormones were out of whack.

“They’ll bring the baby in a little while for you to nurse. Once you hold her, you’ll feel completely different.”

“Nurse?” Delia pushed up in the bed, a look of terror on her face. “No, no. I can’t do that. This baby was an accident and I don’t plan on nursing it.”

Macy stroked Delia’s arm. “A lot of mothers choose to use formula.”

Delia squirmed again. “She won’t be like me, will she, Macy? Impulsive, foolish and a little crazy?”

“You only think of yourself that way. I see someone who could be an unbelievable young woman if you’d just let it happen.”

Delia sighed. “Go away, Macy. I have to decide what to do.”

“You don’t have a lot of options.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

Macy didn’t know what to make of that so she put it down to hormones. Delia would feel differently once she held her baby.

“I’ll go check on the baby. Get some rest. You’ve had a rough night.”

“Macy?”

She turned back.

“I’d like to name her Zoë.”

Macy felt a moment of relief. Delia was showing an interest. That was very good. “Would you like the father’s name on the birth certificate?” She might be pressing her luck, but she tried anyway.

Delia shook her head. “You just don’t give up, do you? Just put Zoë Jane Randall on the birth certificate.”

Macy was taken aback. Jane was her middle name, named after Irene’s mother. “I like it.”

“Thought you would. It’s for Grandma.”

“Grandma Jane would be proud.”

“Yeah. She was the only one who ever took an interest in me.”

That was very true. Delia had defied discipline as a kid, but Grandma Jane had a way with her. She passed away when Delia was twelve and after that Delia’s problems had escalated out of control.

“Is there anyone you’d like me to call?”

“Like who?”

“I haven’t seen you in a year, so you had to be living with someone, someone who might be worried about you.”

Delia scooted down in the bed and pulled a pillow close. “You’re the only one who worries about me. That’s because you don’t know any better and you never seem to learn.”

Delia drifted off to sleep and Macy walked out with a sigh.

BEAU CHECKED ON Macy’s animals and fed them—a ritual he was quite used to. When Macy worked and he was at home, the trio stayed at his place. He often let them out and took them for walks. Freckles didn’t believe in exercise, but the dogs jogged with him sometimes.

They followed him to the door, so he let them come to his house, knowing they wanted some company. They curled up on his bed while he showered and shaved. Putting on clean jeans, he watched them.

Macy had taught them all sorts of tricks. One was making up the bed. He’d just thrown the sheet and comforter back last night, intending to crawl into bed after the game. But he’d never made it.

Lucky caught the corner of the sheet with his teeth and pulled it across the bed, slipping off the side of the bed and hanging by his teeth until the sheet pulled tight. Lefty did the same with the comforter. Then both dogs jumped onto the bed and sniffed and pulled until they thought the job was done. Freckles hopped into the center, curled into a ball and promptly fell asleep.

Lucky and Lefty barked at her and Beau smiled at their antics. “Thanks, guys,” he said. “Time to go home.” They followed him to Macy’s. He hated to leave them, but Macy would be home soon. Or at least he hoped she would.

He drove to his mom and dad’s. He had to tell them about the move, which he wasn’t all that sure about anymore. The aroma of something good cooking greeted him as he entered his mom’s big kitchen, her haven. She loved to cook. Katie, his five-year-old niece and Jake’s daughter, sat on a bar stool pulled up to the island staring at some cookies that obviously had just been taken out of the oven. Bandy, a small black-and-white dog and one of Macy’s rescues, looked up at Katie, waiting for a morsel of food.

“Uncle Beau.” Katie jumped off the stool and ran into his arms.

He swung her around and kissed her cheek.

Katie pointed to the cookies. “Granny and me made peanut butter cookies. Want one?”

“You bet.”

Katie slipped to the floor and he smiled at his mother. Her brown hair was turning grayer every day, but she still looked the same to him, petite with a few extra pounds and a heart of gold. She stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“Hi, dear. How was your trip?”

“Pretty good.”

Katie came toward him walking very carefully with a cookie held in both hands. Bandy hopped up and down behind her. Althea grabbed a napkin and Katie deposited the treat gently on the table. Beau sat down and took a bite, Katie’s big brown eyes watching him.

“Is it good?” she wanted to know.

“The best ever.”

“It’s got lots of love in it. Granny and me always put it in.”

He kissed her forehead. “And I taste it.”

Andrew walked in, his glasses perched on his nose. “Beau, son, I didn’t know you were home.”

Beau stood and hugged him. Accepting his stepfather, Andrew Wellman, into his life after living with Joe McCain hadn’t been hard at all.

Beau was afraid of his father and his temper, but he’d never been afraid of Andrew. Everything he’d learned about kindness and caring, everything that wasn’t inherited, he learned from Andrew. He taught him about life and how to be a man with a sensitive heart and a strong faith. Church had been the cornerstone of his new life and he needed that just as his mother had. Without her eldest son, she was lost, and so was Beau.

Now they all had a second chance and he’d never seen his mother happier. She thrived on being a grandmother.

Andrew turned to Katie. “I’ve got the movie all set to go. Ready?”

“Yay.” Katie clapped her hands. “Is it about the donkey?”

“Yes.”

Katie looked at Beau. “Want to watch it?”

“No, thanks. I’ll talk to Granny.”

“Okay. Grandpa, Bandy and me will watch the movie.”

After they left, Althea brought more cookies to the table. “How about a cup of coffee?”

“Sure. Where’s Jake and Elise?” Katie was now in school so there had to be a reason she was here today.

“It’s a teacher workday so the kids didn’t have school, but Jake, Elise and Ben had a meeting with Ben’s teacher.”

“Is he okay?” Ben had developmental problems and they all worried about him.

“He’s fine. He wants to play Little League baseball. Elise and Jake are cautious and I don’t blame them. They just want to make sure he’s up for it.” She set a cup of coffee in front of him.

He took a sip. “Have you heard from Caleb?”

“They’re visiting Josie’s family in Beckett. They should be back tomorrow.” Althea smiled. “Caleb walks about six feet off the ground these days.”

“He’s very happy,” Beau commented.

“Yes, and it’s wonderful to see. I wish all my sons were as happy.”

Beau shifted uneasily. “Who’s not happy?” But he knew what was coming next. He’d opened a can of worms and he prepared himself for the stink. It took about a split second.

“You’re not happy. You’re my single son, my unmarried son.”

He gritted his teeth. “Not all men have to be married to be happy.”

“You do.”

“Mom.” He took a deep breath and shifted gears. “Macy’s sister, Delia, is back and she had a baby girl last night.”

“What!” Althea drew back, thrown completely off guard, as he’d intended.

“She gave birth last night,” he repeated.

“How is Macy taking this?”

“She hasn’t seen Delia in a year and she’s trying to be supportive.”

“Yes. That’s Macy.” Althea shook her head. “So sad what happened to that family. They just broke apart after the divorce, then Macy married that man. Don’t even remember his name, but he was all wrong for her. I haven’t talked to Irene in years. Macy said she’s remarried?”

“Yes. Divorce is sad. I deal with it every day. Maybe that’s why I’m not so strong on marriage. So far it hasn’t lived up to its billing.”

“Don’t be cynical. That’s not you.”

It wasn’t. He always suggested counseling to people who came to him wanting a divorce. If he could get them to talking, communicating, it helped with the process. Some only wanted to talk to him and he gladly obliged, saving a few marriages. When he did that, he knew he wasn’t a bad person, a bad son.

He decided to change the subject. “I have a job offer from the law firm I visited in Dallas. Senior partnership, big office, unbelievable perks—the works.”

She patted his hand. “How nice. Everyone knows what an excellent attorney you are and I’m sure there are a lot of firms who’d love to have you. But I’m also sure you refused.”

“Not yet. I’m giving it some thought.”

Althea’s eyes opened wide in disbelief. Without a word she got up and walked into the kitchen, putting dishes into the sink. The rattle of pans was deafening in the silence of the room. Beau was dumbfounded. Clearly his mother was upset. He never dreamed she’d react like this.

Andrew strolled in. “We need cookies and milk to watch the movie.”

His mother grabbed a plate and threw cookies onto it. “Beau’s moving to Dallas,” she said curtly.

“What?” Andrew looked from his wife to Beau.

“I had a great job offer,” Beau explained.

“Dallas is so far away,” Andrew mumbled, then caught himself. “But if it’s what you want, son, we’ll support you.”

“How can you say that?” Althea flared. “I need Beau. I depend on him, we all do.” His mom swung to face him. “I’ve depended on you since I had the courage to leave Joe McCain. You were just a kid, but very responsible for your age. After Caleb was born, I depended on you to help Caleb understand why his father denied who he really was. Most of all I depended on you to bring Jake back into the family. It took years, but you never let up on your brother.”

“Mom…”

“Jake was stubborn, though, believing all the lies Joe had told him about me. It wasn’t until Jake found out he had a son by another woman and needed your help legally that everything fell into place. You fought tirelessly to make that happen. That’s the type of person you are.”

“Thea,” Andrew intervened. “Why are you dredging up the past?”