Dreaming

Luisa looked fixedly at him, her blue eyes as dark as gentians in the shadowy light of her office. ‘Poor David, how frightening it must have been for you at such an early age.’ He had never told her this story before and it revealed a lot about him that she had never suspected.

A little flushed, he laughed and got up, shrugging. ‘Yes...well...I must go. I’m going home now. I’ve run out of bodies in the theatre so I might as well get some sleep. See you tomorrow. Looking forward to it?’

Luisa lit up, smiling. ‘Oh, yes. I haven’t been to a dance for ages and I love dancing. I’m going to buy a new dress tomorrow, too!’

‘To go out with me? I’m flattered!’ He grinned down at her, a head taller than her, his attractive face warm, yet still set in lines of exhaustion and weariness.

Luisa didn’t manage to get out to do her shopping until quite late on Saturday afternoon, but there was only one good dress shop in Whinbury so she would not need much time in which to make her choice. She was lucky: there was a ravishing dark blue silk dress with a low-cut bodice and a stand-up ruff of lace at the back. The dress was long-skirted with a trio of rustling pale pink lace petticoats under it, and a pale pink silk rose pinned to the waist. Luisa loved the feel of the frou-frou of petticoats around her legs as she walked.

‘It has a sort of Victorian look, doesn’t it?’ said the girl who sold it to her. ‘Your hairstyle goes with it. Very classy, that chignon. Of course some of them wore ringlets in Victorian days, too, but I think that was the young girls, not ladies of your age.’

Luisa laughed without amusement. The girl was probably not even twenty; no doubt to her Luisa’s twenty-seven years did seem pretty ancient, but it left Luisa feeling as if she had suddenly aged without noticing it. Twenty-seven wasn’t that old! Why shouldn’t she wear her hair in ringlets if she liked? Victorian, indeed!

When she got home she had a bath, washed her hair, and spent some time curling it into Victorian-style ringlets with some electric hair tongs she had once been given, but rarely used.

Once she was dressed for the dance she stood in front of her mirror, biting her lip. The new style certainly made her look different! In fact, it changed her whole appearance. She went pink. What on earth had she done to herself? She felt ridiculous and would have tried to restore her hair to normal if David hadn’t arrived while she was still trying to make up her mind what to do.

He did a double take, staring. ‘Luisa? Good heavens! I hardly recognised you. Your hair...’

Luisa groaned. ‘It looks awful, doesn’t it? I don’t know what on earth made me do it! But—’

‘I love it!’

She blinked uncertainly. ‘You do?’

‘It’s perfect with that dress.’ He held out his well-shaped hand, his brown eyes warm. ‘And that is a very sexy dress, let me say!’

She laughed, but went pink, and David smiled down at her, holding her slender fingers lightly. ‘The blush is sexy, too.’

‘Don’t you make fun of me, David Hallows!’ she protested, even more flushed.

‘I’m not, I mean it. When you go pink like that you look very female. I suppose it makes me feel you need protecting...’

‘In this day and age?’ she asked incredulously.

He grimaced. ‘Oh, I know it’s an out of date attitude—opening doors for a woman, standing up when she comes into a room...OK, it’s laughed at these days. But I’m an old-fashioned guy. I like the difference between a man and a woman and I don’t see why I should apologise for that.’

‘Neither do I,’ she said, smiling at him because they had worked together long enough for her to know that he was no put-down artist. He didn’t treat women as dolls—far from it. He’d always treated her with respect and grave equality.

He smiled back. ‘That’s what first attracted me to you,’ he surprised her by saying. ‘Your femininity.’

Luisa stared in surprise. He had never told her that before. She had often wondered how he had managed to reach the age of thirty-five without marrying because he was attractive and popular with the other nurses. He had had other girlfriends, but the relationships had all fizzled out in the end. Maybe the long hours he had to work, the intense concentration of the job, always came between him and anyone he dated?

He usually looked relaxed and casual, even in his ward-walking suits, because he was not the authoritarian type of surgeon of an earlier generation. David was too laid-back for that; his warm smile and easy-going manner made him the most liked of all the doctors. But tonight he, too, looked different: very distinguished in his evening suit. The black jacket and trousers made him look very slim; the white shirt and immaculate black tie gave him a touch of glamour he did not normally have.

His mouth curled in amusement. ‘Are you looking me over, Luisa? Or have I put you off by admitting I like feminine girls?’

She laughed, shaking her head.

He tightened his grip on her hand and drew her closer, bending his head. Luisa instinctively lifted her face to meet his kiss, but, even as their lips met, behind them in her flat the telephone rang and they froze, looked at each other, grimacing.

‘Don’t answer it!’ David said, and she laughed.

‘You know I must! It may be my father.’

David groaned. ‘Famous last words!’

It wasn’t her father; it was the hospital. She sighed and turned, holding out the phone to David. ‘Sorry,’ she said as he reluctantly took it.

‘I won’t say I told you so!’

He curtly said into the phone, ‘Hallows here.’ Then listened, brows pulling together. ‘How long has that been happening?’

Luisa stood watching him, her hands unconsciously playing with her short black velvet evening jacket. If David was being summoned back to the theatre she would not be going to the dance.

He put the phone down and turned to make a wry face at her. ‘I told you not to answer it!’

‘I thought you weren’t on call!’

‘I’m not, but one of my patients has been waiting for an op. for three days because his condition simply wasn’t stable enough for me to risk it. Tonight they think he has stabilised, but Colin Dawkins doesn’t like to risk doing an op. on his own opinion; he wants me to pop in and take a look at the guy and back him up before he gives the go-ahead.’

‘And he’d really rather you did the op. yourself!’ Luisa said drily.

David laughed. ‘I expect he would. He’s simply terrified of taking a risk, that fellow.’

‘Does this mean no dance?’

‘Certainly not! No, we’ll be going, but I suppose I’d better make a detour en route and drop by the hospital to see this patient and decide whether Colin ought to operate or not.’

‘It might be wiser to wait until tomorrow, anyway.’

David’s mouth indented. ‘Hmm. This is a dodgy one, though. Not sure he can afford to wait. But I’ll see.’

When they reached the hospital David asked, ‘Wait here for me?’ but she shook her head, smiling at him.

‘You may be gone for ages. No, I’ll come in and stop off at my ward to have a cup of coffee with Sister Jenkins.’

‘And show off your dress?’ he teased, and she laughed.

‘Well, why not?’

They split up in the hospital, and she rustled along the corridors, amused when she got a startled look from a nurse hurrying by.

Helen Jenkins was in the ward overseeing a nurse giving out the evening medication. Luisa walked towards them and Helen looked round, and stared, open-mouthed.

‘Can’t you keep away?’

Laughing, Luisa explained. ‘David had to see a patient. I hoped I’d get a cup of coffee from you while I wait.’

‘Put it on and I’ll be with you in a second,’ Helen cheerfully agreed.

‘What a gorgeous, dress, Sister,’ said the nurse, and Luisa smiled at her.

‘Thanks, it’s new. First time I’ve worn it.’

‘It suits you,’ said the girl, her eyes lifting to stare at Luisa’s ringlets.

Helen was staring at them, too. ‘I’ve never seen you wear your hair like that before!’

‘I never have; it’s an experiment, and I don’t think I’ll be doing it again, either,’ Luisa wryly said.

‘Oh, no, it looks great!’ the nurse said, and Helen nodded.

‘I like it, too. It certainly makes you look different.’

Rather pink, Luisa said, ‘Thank you,’ and then turned to walk back to the office. As she did so, a faint voice made her halt. She looked across the ward at Zachary West’s bed and saw him shift slightly. Luisa went over to him. His eyes were open.

‘Did you call out, Mr West?’

He stared in silence.

She tried again. ‘I thought I heard you call...’

He closed his eyes without answering.

‘I’m seeing things now!’ he muttered to himself, and she had to bend closer to hear the words. ‘Crazy!’ he was murmuring barely audibly, through his swollen lips. ‘I’m going crazy! God help me.’

His eyes opened again suddenly. He gave a start, finding her so near. Luisa gave him what she hoped was a soothing smile. ‘Is there anything I can get you, Mr West?’

All she got back was a ferocious look and a snarl. ‘Go away, for God’s sake! I can’t take any more! Go away!’

She was so taken aback that without another word she obeyed, her skirts rustling as she hurried towards the office.

To her horror, her blue eyes had filled with tears. What is the matter with me? she wondered and fumbled for a paper tissue to angrily wipe her wet eyes. He can’t help being bad-tempered; he’s very ill! He isn’t the first patient to turn on you, heaven knows! Why are you weeping over him?

She began to make the coffee, as Helen Jenkins had asked, but she never had a chance to drink it because just as Helen joined her the phone rang. It was David.

‘Ready?’

‘Yes, of course,’ she said, furious to realise that her voice was still husky. ‘How was your patient?’

‘Not yet up to an op. See you at the car in two minutes!’

She put down the phone and turned. ‘Sorry, Nell, David didn’t take as long as I’d expected. See you later tonight.’

‘Yes. Have a wonderful time, but don’t be late back!’ Helen said, grinning at her.

On her way out of the ward Luisa paused for one second to look down the ward towards Zachary West. He seemed to have gone back to sleep now. She sighed and hurried away to find David.

As they had both realised it would, their arrival together at the hospital dinner-dance in Whinbury’s best hotel made something of a stir. Everyone had known they were going out together, but for them to come to such a very important event together was seen as some sort of declaration of intent. They were now publicly an admitted pair.

‘When you come to choose your bridesmaids think of me!’ one of her friends said in the ladies’ cloakroom during the evening.

Luisa pulled an impatient face at her. ‘Give us a chance, Jane! We’ve only been going out for a few months. Marriage isn’t on our minds.’

‘Bet I know what is!’ Jane Dorset said, giggling. ‘Well, on his, anyway! I’ve seen the way he looks at you.’

Luisa blushed, which made everyone hoot with laughter. Not for the first time she furiously wished she didn’t colour up so easily. David might find it charmingly feminine, but it was a curse Luisa could do without.

David drove her back to the hospital at half-past one when the dance ended. ‘Enjoy yourself?’ he asked after switching off his engine in the car park.

Luisa nodded, eyes bright. ‘I had a wonderful time, David. Thank you, it was terrific. I only wish I didn’t have to go back to work!’

After eating a four-course meal which included a very rich roast duck with cherries and a chocolate and orange mousse, drinking champagne, laughing and talking to friends and dancing with David to a very good band for several hours, she was in no mood to change back into her uniform and put in a six-hour shift.

‘So do I, believe me. If you had the rest of the night off we could get to know each other better...’ David softly said, and her maddening colour flowed up her face again, making him smile. ‘You’re so lovely, Luisa,’ he muttered, his fingers gently stroking her cheek and then sliding down to tilt her head back.

Their lips met and Luisa closed her eyes. Yet somehow she couldn’t give herself to David’s passionate mouth. Some part of her was cool, resistant; her body arched away from him although she didn’t push him away.

After a moment he lifted his head and looked wryly at her. ‘I picked the wrong moment, didn’t I?’

‘I’m sorry, David, I’m just not in that mood any more...I suppose it’s having to go back to work right away...’ she whispered guiltily.

He gave her a comforting smile. ‘Never mind, there’ll be other times. You had better hurry in and change. Goodnight, Luisa.’

As soon as she had changed back into uniform and Helen Jenkins had gone, Luisa went down the ward to Zachary West’s bed.

He was asleep. She stood watching him, wishing she understood the strange, driving compulsion to see him which had possessed her all evening while she talked, laughed, ate, danced. Her body had been with David, but her mind had been here, with this strange, hostile, aggressive man towards whom she felt such complicated responses.

After a few moments she went on around the ward to check on all her other patients, then back to her office to get on with her work there, but every so often she would pause, glance up, and stare down towards Zachary West, then sigh and look down again, bewildered by her own feelings.

Zachary West was in her ward throughout the following week, a little better each day, waiting for David to agree that he was strong enough to make the journey to London to the specialist hospital. Luisa wished David would agree. She would feel easier if Zachary West were not around.

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