Up In Flames

Once burned, twice shy

Lola Whittaker can’t remember a time when she didn’t want smoke jumper Erik McKnight—those stormy gray eyes, that rock-hard bod... But once burned, twice shy, and Lola swore she would never make the same mistake again. But that won’t stop her from making a new one. Like getting into the wrong bunk and having the hottest night of her life—with Erik.

Erik knows Lola will never forgive him for what happened that disastrous night six years ago—he sure as hell hasn’t forgiven himself. But when the woman he’s dreamed about every night since climbs into his bed, it’s impossible to turn her away.

It’s just one night, right? Except now Lola’s pregnant...

Were they ever going to be able to be in the same room together without striking sparks off each other?

Maybe Lola just needed to let go, give in and let fate take control.

“What exactly do you think is the right thing, Erik? Because I don’t know anymore. What I do know is that being this close to you and not having the right to touch you makes me ache.”

He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them. The heat that engulfed her left her skin feeling too tight to hold her in. “You always have the right to touch me, Lo. Any time. Any way.”

Reaching out, Lola pressed her hand against the hard planes of his chest. The heat of his skin burned straight through her. Cool droplets clung to him, sparkling in the sunlight. And she was done denying what she wanted.

Leaning forward, Lola ran her tongue across his skin, collecting the droplets and savoring the taste of him.

“Lola,” he groaned deep in his throat. The rumble of her name rolling off his tongue pulled any last resistance out from under her.

This was what she wanted. Erik was what she wanted.

And she was strong enough to take what was in front of her.

She’d worry about the aftermath later...

Dear Reader,

I’m so lucky to count several firefighters among my personal friends. They’re the most honorable, dedicated and brave men and women I’ve ever met. As you can imagine, it was easy to envision a hero that possessed these same qualities. A man no one—including my heroine—could help but fall for...twice.

Erik McKnight definitely fits that bill, risking his own life over and over to save others. So what if he’s got a reckless streak and a guilty conscience no sacrifice can seem to assuage? That is, until he returns home and finally confronts the chain of events that cost him everything—including the only woman he’s ever loved.

In the course of writing Up in Flames I had the honor of accompanying several local firefighters on a ride-along. The guys were more than willing to share all the aspects of their job, giving me an amazing glimpse into the reality of their lives. We won’t talk about how the jacket absolutely swallowed me whole! Or how inadequate I felt watching them move like a well-oiled machine to help someone with a serious medical issue. But we can talk about how that experience solidified for me just how much we all owe these men and women who sacrifice time from their families in order to protect others.

I’ve been privileged over the past few years to support a charity that provides financial support to local firefighters who are sick or injured. If you’d like to donate, please feel free to visit www.imathlete.com/donate/brothersforlifebenefitfund.

I hope you enjoy reading Erik and Lola’s story! I’d love to hear from you at kirasinclair.com, or come chat with me on Twitter, @KiraSinclair.

Best wishes,

Kira

Up in Flames

Kira Sinclair

www.millsandboon.co.uk

KIRA SINCLAIR writes emotional, passionate contemporary romances. A double winner of the National Readers’ Choice Award, her first foray into writing fiction was for a high school English assignment. Nothing could dampen her enthusiasm...not even being forced to read the love story aloud to the class. Writing about sexy heroes and strong women has always excited her. She lives with her two beautiful daughters in North Alabama. Kira loves to hear from readers at kirasinclair.com.

I’d like to dedicate Up In Flames to all the men and women who serve the Decatur, Alabama, fire and rescue department, especially Brandon Strickland. Thank you all for your service and sacrifice.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

Title Page

About the Author

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Epilogue

Extract

Copyright

1

“LOOKING GOOD, as always, babe,” Sean said. Lola Whittaker frowned as he slung his arm around her waist, pulling her into the warmth of his body even as his fingers dipped dangerously close to her butt.

It was a familiar gesture, one that said he was comfortable touching her. Lola wished she felt the same. With a shake of her head, she dropped one hand from the camera she’d been holding up to her eye and used the easy excuse to direct his hand higher. “I’m working.”

What was wrong with her? Sean Morris was a good guy. Easygoing, intelligent, honorable. Sexy as hell in a boy next door kinda way. He’d asked her out several times over the past few months, and while her head said she should give him a chance...she’d never found a reason to say yes.

Considering he worked as a firefighter for her dad, she had two good reasons to say no.

Lola twisted her fingers into her worn camera strap. The camera he’d given her so many years ago. The one she couldn’t get rid of, no matter that she’d upgraded to a newer model at the studio. Whenever she took photographs just for herself, this was the camera she pulled out.

A good reminder why getting involved with Sean—or any firefighter—was a bad idea. She’d already messed with one and had the battle scars to prove it. She wasn’t ready to jump into something with another guy who embraced danger for a living, even for a noble cause.

“Get your hand away from my sister’s ass, you moron,” Colton drawled, punctuating his order with a smack across Sean’s arm.

Sean laughed good-naturedly, holding his hands up and backing slowly away. “I’ll just go sweet-talk a slice of cake from Mrs. Monahan.”

“You do that,” Colt grumbled. Her brother steered his wheelchair beside her, looking out over the group of people scattered across the park. The Memorial Day family picnic was a tradition, one her grandfather started. He’d been fire chief in Sweetheart, South Carolina, before her own dad had taken over twelve years ago.

Both of her sisters had come into town for the long weekend. Over by the tables, her older sister, Suzi, bustled to organize the casseroles, congealed salads and fixings that appeared at every Southern potluck. Her younger sister, Kayla, type A extraordinaire, was busy grouping the desserts by type. Heaven forbid that pies, cakes, brownies and cookies comingled.

Memories of her mom filling that role, organizing things in her quiet, authoritative way, reared up. A stab of pain accompanied the memory. It had been fourteen years since they’d lost her to a drunk driver, but the pain never seemed to go away. Lola had simply gotten used to living with that hole in her heart.

Her father, along with half the Sweetheart fire brigade, stood around the exceedingly huge grill. She wouldn’t have been surprised if several of them were grunting like cavemen as they stared at the obscene amount of sizzling meat.

Raising her camera again, Lola snapped a quick picture, somehow managing to capture the pride and contentment on her dad’s face. There was nothing he loved better than having all of his team gathered around him.

Wives and girlfriends clustered together, chatting and intermittently hollering at kids as they tore through the town park.

This was home. Family.

Lola had worked hard to find her place in the sleepy little town she loved so much. She was proud of the successful business she owned. Between graduation pictures, spring family portraits and wedding season, she’d barely had a weekend off in months. She loved, absolutely loved, what she did and was so lucky to be able to make a living at it.

So why had she felt so restless lately?

It was hard to put her finger on it, but even now, during the weekend that she looked forward to every year, she couldn’t shake her sense of disquiet. Not even the weight of a camera in her hand calmed her—and it had always calmed her before.

Frustrated with herself, Lola tried to refocus on the view through her lens. She walked several paces closer to the playground, crouching down to capture action shots of the Mitchell twins. At four, both boys were holy terrors, but adorable ones.

Spinning in place, Lola tracked across the gathered group, looking for other moments to capture.

“Sis, why don’t you put the camera away and enjoy the party?”

She was so used to the quiet whoosh of Colton’s tires across grass and gravel that she hadn’t even heard him follow her. But she should have known he wouldn’t be far behind.

He’d been her right hand for the past six years...ever since the accident. They’d always been close, two years apart, sandwiched between Suzi and Kayla, but working together had only strengthened the bond between them.

That and almost losing him.

“Try interacting with folks for a change instead of just watching through that camera of yours. Remember? I purposely left this weekend open so you could take a few days off. But in order for that to happen, you actually need to put down the camera.”

Lola breathed deeply and tried not to let her bad mood spill out over her big brother. He was just trying to be helpful, although this conversation was becoming increasingly frequent—not to mention increasingly annoying.

“I enjoy having a camera in my hand, Colt. You know that.”

“Sure, but every now and again you need to engage with people. You know, create your own memories instead of preserving other people’s.”

With a sigh, Lola cradled the camera in her palm and let it drop to her side. “Fine.” If for no other reason than to get him off her back, she walked to the parking lot. Popping the hatch on her small SUV, she carefully packed her camera back into the worn padded bag.

The sound of crunching gravel whispered behind her, but Lola ignored it. No doubt a late arrival to the festivities. Stepping back, she slammed the door shut, whirled around and barreled straight into a solid wall of muscle.

Her body reacted, shock and awareness crashing through her. Heavy hands gripped her shoulders, steadying her. Electricity crackled across her skin.

A lump formed in her throat. She recognized him long before her gaze could travel up to take in his face. But she knew. Her body remembered. Reacted.

All too much.

Slowly Lola’s gaze tracked up from the center of a wide chest, over unbelievably rounded shoulders, up the long column of a thick throat to the eyes that still haunted her dreams—and her nightmares.

Those familiar smoky grays stared back at her, somber and searching. The impact of him was unexpected. Heat erupted across her skin, radiating out from where he held her like fire consuming paper. The few other times she’d seen him over the years, she’d been prepared. Knew Erik was in town.

Today she wasn’t ready. Her mouth was bone dry. So many emotions careened through her. She had about as much control as a runaway car in the middle of an action movie. Which pissed her off.

Correction—the man touching her like he still had the right to pissed her off.

Jerking away from him, Lola sucked in a harsh breath.

“Lola. It’s good to see you.”

“Erik. I can’t say the same.”

That wasn’t strictly true. Because even as anger—anger she’d been harboring for the last six years—burst through her, she couldn’t stop her gaze from ripping down his body. Cataloging the differences and ensuring herself he was whole and safe.

He was bigger—pure muscle. Considering the work he did now, that was no surprise. Smoke jumping wasn’t for weaklings. It was, however, for daredevils and adrenaline junkies. Erik McKnight was both.

Hurt flashed through his eyes but was gone before she could even blink. Rocking back on his heels, he stuffed both hands into his jeans pockets. “I’m sorry you still feel that way.”

Wow, so he’d finally issued her an apology. Hardly for the right reasons, though.

“What are you doing here?”

“Didn’t your dad or Colt tell you?”

No, obviously they hadn’t. But her anger now had a new direction, and the minute she was finished here they were both going to get a serious tongue lashing. The men in her life were all oblivious morons.

“I’m—” his gaze pulled away, focusing on the sky behind her “—taking a couple months off.”

There was a story there. Six years ago she would have asked for an explanation. Today she didn’t want to care, so she kept her mouth shut.

The smile he flashed her was without any of the humor that usually lit his face. “Came home to spend some time with Mom. Your dad’s letting me pick up some shifts at the station.”

Oh, goody.

Lola nodded, because what else was she supposed to do? “Well, good luck with that.” Hooking her thumb over her shoulder, she said, “I’m just gonna go...”

“...do anything that gets you far away from me.”

“You said it, not me.”

“That doesn’t make it untrue.”

She shrugged. He wasn’t wrong, but her mother had raised her to be too polite to say so.

Putting one foot behind the other, she slowly backed away a short distance before he said, “You look good, Lola. I... I really am glad we ran into each other.”

Was he serious? Lola stared at him for several seconds, searching his face before she realized that he was. Which made the anger bubbling up inside her finally burst free.

“Did you take a hit to the head, Erik? You act like I haven’t been right here for the past six years, exactly where you left me when you ran away. Ran away when my brother was lying in a hospital bed, broken and bleeding.”

“Because I put him there.” Erik’s gruff voice whispered over her, a swell of words that made her insides quake with the memories of those horrible days following Colt’s accident.

“You’re right. You did.” The accusation she’d wanted to scream at him for so long fell between them like a whisper through a quiet church.

But she didn’t feel any better. In fact, the ache in her chest felt worse.

“That, right there, is why I left. I could see it every time you looked at me.”

“See what?”

“Blame.” His stark expression ripped through her. And she’d be lying if she didn’t acknowledge the small part of her that wanted to reach out to him and offer him comfort.

But he was right. She did blame him. For so many things.

A blast of childlike laughter startled her as a couple of kids darted through the corner of the parking lot several feet away.

No, she wasn’t having this conversation here, now. It wasn’t the time.

“Whatever.” Lola started to take a step back again. “It’s ancient history and no longer matters.”

“Lo.” Sean walked up next to her, startling her as he flung an arm around her waist again. This time, she didn’t correct him when his fingers swept dangerously close to her ass.

Erik’s gaze narrowed, taking in the familiarity and comfort of Sean’s embrace. She couldn’t help delighting in his reaction.

But mostly she just wanted this encounter to end.

“I saved you a steak, but I can’t fend off the vultures forever.”

“Great,” she said, looking up into his open expression.

Sean flashed her a smile, understanding and concern running beneath the surface. He squeezed at her hip, reassurance she didn’t need but appreciated. Why couldn’t she want him?

Holding out his other hand, Sean waited for Erik to shake it. “Erik, good to see you back, man. Thanks for picking up that shift for me. I really appreciate it.”

Without waiting for a response, Sean swung them around, leading her in the direction of the pavilion. “Thanks,” she murmured.

“Anything you need, beautiful. I’m your guy.”

God, why couldn’t that be true? Even now, she could feel the tingle of energy crackling across her skin. The fine hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end. Not because Sean was touching her, but because she could feel Erik’s gaze raking down her spine.

He’d always had that effect on her. On her body. Lola couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t wanted him. From the moment she’d discovered that boys were beautiful instead of gross, Erik McKnight had been the source of all her fantasies.

And apparently, not even Erik stomping on her heart was enough to halt her bone-deep reaction.

Lola fought the urge to glance back over her shoulder. Nope, she was stronger than that.

Or she wanted to be, because her body was still in a riot, even from the brief physical contact of his hard chest and muscled thighs.

Damn him for making her ache in a way no one else ever had.

* * *

“HERE, I THINK you need this.” A day after running into Erik, Hope Harper plunked a shot glass down onto the table in front of Lola, spilling the amber liquid.

She wasn’t wrong. “I shouldn’t.”

“Seriously, Lola, every girl deserves the numbness of alcohol when the ex unexpectedly shows up,” Tatum Huntley drawled. She’d know, considering not long ago her husband returned from the dead after three years.

Picking up the glass, Lola took a deep breath, slammed the drink back and came up sputtering.

“Holy shit. I thought that was rum or something. Why would you give me cinnamon whiskey?”

Lexi Newcomb plopped back into her seat across the table. “I thought you liked cinnamon.”

Lola did, but not when she wasn’t expecting that kind of burn.

Looking at the women surrounding her, she was grateful that the minute she’d called on her friends they’d dropped everything to come ply her with alcohol and provide sound advice.

She definitely needed both right now.

“So, you literally turned around and ran straight into him?”

Lola wiped her hands down her face, hoping to erase the memory with the gesture. It didn’t work. But her body was starting to feel warm—even warmer than memories of Erik usually left her—and some of the tension she’d been fighting since yesterday was easing out of her muscles.

“Yeah. Sean rescued me, not that I needed rescuing.”

“Of course not,” Hope said, patting her hand.

“Sean, huh?” The speculative look that Tatum passed across the table didn’t do much to settle Lola’s nerves.

“Nope, don’t go there.”

Easing back in her chair, her friend crossed her arms over her chest and raised a single eyebrow. “Why not?”

“Because the last thing I need is to encourage Sean. He’s been trying to get me into bed for months.”

“And remind me, why have you resisted?” Tatum asked. “He’s hot, has a reputation for knowing exactly what he’s doing in the bedroom, and you haven’t exactly been burning up the sheets lately.”

“Or ever,” Willow Warwick tacked on in her soft way. That didn’t quite kill Lola’s twinge of embarrassment and annoyance—at herself. Her friends weren’t wrong.

“We’re not suggesting you become the Sweetheart slut, honey,” Lexi said. “But there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun now and again. A girl has needs.”

Yeah, right. That was easy for them to say. They all had amazing husbands who were perfectly capable of meeting every one of their needs. They didn’t remember how difficult it was to be single.

Lola looked around the table at the women staring earnestly back at her. Lexi she’d known almost all her life—their dads had been friends forever. Tatum had moved to Sweetheart several years ago. Lola had known Hope and Willow before, but they’d never been real friends.

Not until she’d moved back after college and opened her studio on Main Street, right down from Lexi’s, Willow’s and Tatum’s shops and the newspaper office where Hope worked. In the past few years, they’d become so close that it felt like these women had always been a part of her life.

They knew everything, which sometimes was a curse more than a blessing.

Tatum’s eyebrows beetled, her gaze swept across the table and, making a quick decision, she signaled their waitress for another round.

“No,” Lola protested when she appeared with their drinks.

But Tatum ignored her. “Trust me, you’re gonna need this,” she said, holding out the second shot to her. “Because I’m about to lay something on you.”

Lola stared at the glass for a couple of seconds, looked up into Tatum’s steady gaze and decided what the hell. She tossed it back, the fire of it flaming in her belly.

“When’s the last time you got laid? No, don’t answer that because I already know. It’s been months. Probably closer to a year. You need sex. To take the edge off. Especially with Erik back in town.”

Tatum aimed a pointed look at her. “Trust me when I say I understand how difficult it is to resist falling back into bed with someone you have history with.”

God, that was the last thing she needed right now. Even the thought of sleeping with Erik again sent heat straight through her. The problem was, the reaction was immediately chased by an icy cold that burned almost as much as the whiskey.

“Sean’s been dancing around you for months. And here’s the thing. He’s safe. Everyone knows he doesn’t do permanent.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I’m suggesting that you fuck his brains out and take the edge off so you’re not a lit fuse on a firework ready to explode every time you run into Erik. You know Erik’s going to be working at the fire station—you’re bound to see him. You can’t avoid him altogether.”

She could sure try. And maybe it was the two shots of whiskey talking—on top of the two beers she’d had before her friends decided she needed the hard stuff—but the idea of jumping Sean didn’t sound completely asinine.

In fact, it sounded...perfect. Damn, she needed to get laid. Ever since running into Erik yesterday, her body had been a riot of reactions and nerves. And God knew that option wasn’t any option at all.

She was not sleeping with Erik again. Period.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t attracted to Sean. She was. Who wouldn’t be? He was fit, funny and sexy as hell. She just wasn’t interested in anything deep with a guy who ran into burning buildings for a living.

If she was honest and up front with him about what this was, and what it wasn’t...

The fire that had rolled into her belly along with the shots started to spread a pleasant warmth through her body.

Slowly Lola said, “Sean’s working tonight.” A plan began to form in her head. Lola had always been a woman of action. Once she made up her mind, she rarely saw any reason to delay executing.