Assignment: Baby

The craziest thought occurred to him: he was thankful the baby didn’t have a diaper rash—as though it would reflect badly on his parenting skills. All three and a half days of them.

He couldn’t believe he still cared what Mandy thought, or that he was having such a mundane moment with the woman he’d never been able to get completely out of his system. Be careful, he warned himself. She can’t be trusted.

He’d stood still too long, and let things grow too quiet. She glanced up at him with questioning aqua eyes.

“So you’re working toward your PhD, I’m told.”

“Who told you?”

“Dr. Hersh. He seems very impressed with this study of yours.” Maybe she’d thrown herself back into her career and had given up on her baby fantasy?

She smiled. Sophie fussed again.

“I think she’s hungry,” she said. “Did you bring a bottle?”

He finished wiping his hands and removed his soiled jacket, wishing he could strip off his shirt, too. Mandy had always been so organized. Even now, when it was none of her concern, she seemed to know exactly what needed to be done. “Uh, yes. There’s a can of powdered formula and a bottle of water to mix it with somewhere in there.”

“You take care of the meal and I’ll change her diaper. Did you bring her jammies?”

“Jammies?” He paused. “Oh, pajamas. Yes.”

“Let me guess. Pink ones?” She smiled briefly and he thought daylight had broken through the night. Her finely pointed features had never ceased to amaze him, and right now the slant of her eyes and the turn of her nose captivated him. Through his eyes, Mandy had always been beautiful, and it appeared she’d only gotten better with time. But what was the point of entertaining those thoughts?

He glanced at his niece on the changing pad. How ironic. Mandy’s sudden desire to have a baby had driven them apart. Now a helpless baby was forcing them to drop the past and focus on the “right now.”

He needed to say something. Anything. Now. “Jade has this thing for pink…for such a staunch feminist it’s strange…” he mumbled, and fumbled with the can.

“Pink is just a color, not a political statement.” She looked up, a tentative look in her eyes. “She’s really a beautiful baby.”

“You think?” Truth was he didn’t have a clue how babies were supposed to look.

“How old is she?”

“Uh…nine months.”

Mandy kept staring at him, and he felt compelled to fill the silence. “Who’d have thought in a million years we’d be working together again?”

“If I can finagle it, we won’t be working together.”

He finally popped open the powdered formula can. “I told you—it’s a done deal,” he said. “Baby and all.”

Amanda pondered the incongruity of their current situation. When they’d married, they’d agreed to put their careers first and forever. And because she’d worked so hard the stress had caused her to miss a period. The fleeting possibility of being pregnant had changed her outlook on babies so drastically she’d known she could no longer agree to a life without children. Even though she hadn’t turned out to be pregnant, she’d already made that choice. She wanted a family, not just a degree. But Hunter hadn’t budged. “You promised you never wanted children,” he had repeated, over and over.

“Life is certainly full of surprises,” she said under her breath now, as she removed the soiled disposable diaper, thinking she couldn’t have made up a wilder story if she’d tried. She and Hunter working together while he took care of his niece? She shook her head. “Speaking of surprises, you’ll need to actually read my syllabus if you insist on being my mentor.”

He nodded. “I know. And I will.”

“I’ve got everything broken down day by day,” she said, trying her hardest not to think about how wonderful it felt to hold a real live baby in her arms. “Like I said, we’ll start with physical examinations tomorrow. I’ve arranged for two exam rooms on the first floor. You can do the men and I’ll do the women.” She concentrated on Sophie, cleaning her porcelain fine skin with a moist baby wipe, trying not to succumb to her charm. “We need to get labs drawn and EKGs.”

Back then all she’d wanted was Hunter and a baby…and an advanced degree. Wast hat too much to ask? And here they were.

“We’ll do stress tests on Thursday, and by Friday we should have our group divided for the physical training portion.” If only things could have been different. This could be their baby and they could be working as husband and wife… Where was she now? She didn’t dare look into his eyes.

“Oh, and you’ll have to follow the diet while you’re involved. I know how you like your double-double cheeseburgers, but that’s out of the question for now.”

He nodded while fiddling with the formula can and half- heartedly measuring out a scoop for the bottle. “As far as my eating is concerned, you’ve got me all wrong. Since Dad died from a stroke I’ve opted to change the one thing I have control over. My diet.”

“I’m so sorry to hear about your father, Hunter. Did you ever have a chance to work things out?”

He somberly shook his head.

Amanda had finished the diaper change and now sat yoga- style. Hunter attempted to join her and almost spilled the formula. His knees were high off the floor and his back was hunched awkwardly. Completely unnatural, and obviously in pain, there he sat. She tried not to think how silly he looked, and almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Without being asked, Amanda took the scoop from his hands and read the label. Sophie, tired of playing with her toes, rolled over and crawled across the floor.

Amanda mixed the powdered formula into the water and studied Hunter. Why not state the obvious? “It’ll be tough working together.” She sighed. “But we’re adults, Hunter. And if you insist on staying, I’ll just have to get used to it.”

Shaking the bottle, Amanda tried to get Sophie’s attention. When the baby noticed, she immediately crawled over and sat. She grabbed the bottle with both hands and stuck it into her mouth. Amanda tried not to react to how cute that was. Glancing at Hunter, she noticed an apathetic glaze in his eyes. Obviously his mind was elsewhere, and he was no more interested in babies today than he’d been when they were married.

It being tough to work together was the understatement of the century. Mandy watched him with her sea-blue eyes and he remembered how he’d never gotten tired of looking at her when they were a couple. Being around her day after day would be torture.

He wished that things hadn’t gone so sour between them. But, like she’d said earlier, life was full of surprises. Like when she’d had a sudden change of heart about wanting babies. Both being young and stubborn to a fault, and compromise being a foreign word, they had foolishly lost everything.

And here they were.

She stood up and dusted her hands on her workout pants. His knees cracked when he joined her. Her pants seemed baggy. She clapped her hands together and stared him smack in the face.

“Have you lost weight?”

“Did you break your nose?”

They asked the questions in unison.

“Yes.”

They shared an awkward moment at having spoken at the same time twice. Eyeing each other suspiciously, they let their respective questions lie for another time.

Sophie dropped her bottle, crawled between them and slapped at Hunter’s pant leg.

He picked her up. “It’s way past her bedtime,” he said, letting his gaze linger an extra moment on Mandy’s face. Being this close put him off balance. “And I’ve got an hour’s drive home.”

She scratched her cheek and shifted her weight back and forth. “Right. Have you made childcare arrangements?”

He shook his head. “It’s going to be traumatic enough for Sophie not to have Jade around. I can’t bring myself to drop her off anywhere with strangers. My medical assistant and I have been working things out at the Mercy clinic.”

She nodded and lifted her chin. “Then we’ll just have to do our best to work around Sophie, too, I guess.”

Their eyes locked in benign accord. “Thanks for understanding.”

“No problem,” she said, and quickly glanced down. “Jade was my friend, too.”

But as far as Hunter was concerned, he did have a problem. A major problem. The very thought of being around Mandy day in and day out, with all the memories, concerns and longings it would dig up, made the monumental task of single-handedly caring for Sophie feel like a mere stroll in the park.

CHAPTER TWO

AMANDA glanced at the clock on the wall of the tightly packed office. Two desks had been crammed into a space that had once been an exam room. She and Hunter would be painfully close in here but would have to make do, since she’d go to any length for the heart study and her article. She could almost touch her dream, and if dealing with her ex-husband and all the baggage he brought with him was the price she’d have to pay to reach it, so be it.

Amanda had her reasons for advocating diet and exercise to avoid invasive procedures, and she’d put her nursing career on the line for the Mending Hearts Club program. Promoting holistic heart health was the best option, and nothing would stop her from moving forward as planned.

Not even Hunter.

Confronting Hunter last night had practically sent her into palpitations, and had come in a close second to the shock she’d felt after her recent diagnosis. Sure, they’d acted mature and civil toward one another, but the emotional storm raging beneath the surface of her carefully orchestrated facade had almost pulled her into its depths in the process.

Memories steamrollered through her mind. She remembered what a fine doctor he was, and how gentle he could be one moment, as well as how he could become an unsympathetic oaf the next. And she asked herself questions—questions about why they couldn’t have handled their dilemma differently, like agreeing to postpone a baby discussion for another time instead of both getting swept up in a temperamental standoff. She’d made the mistake of thinking they were soul mates. That if she’d been the true love of his life he’d have done anything for her. But they’d been young and headstrong. And once the baby bug had bitten Amanda, their future had changed, whether Hunter had been ready to deal with the fact or not.

A never-ending parade of thoughts had kept her awake most of the night. And a tiny voice still kept wondering if maybe their marriage could have survived.

She didn’t really know Hunter anymore. Their lives and circumstances had evolved, and now they were nothing more than business professionals working on the same project. But he’d made it clear he wasn’t involved with anyone. Why would he do that with a mere project partner?

She stepped outside the second-floor office and tapped on the first door—a makeshift exam room that used to be a supply closet.

“Mrs. Anderson, are you ready for me yet?”

Mrs. Anderson was Amanda’s second physical of the morning. Two of the male patients who had appointments with Hunter still sat down the hall, in a group waiting room.

“Yes. Come in.” The patient’s muffled voice could barely be heard.

Amanda’s eyes drifted to her watch. He was late—again.

Though Hunter had been nearly a half hour late, due to bad traffic and a fussy baby, he’d made up for lost time. By mid-morning he and Mandy had gotten halfway through the physical examinations.

Thankfully, Sophie had played contentedly in a portable playpen in one tiny corner of the office. He liked to think the soft and relaxing classical music from his laptop made the difference. Out of desperation he’d put music on in the car on the drive to work, when Sophie had begun to wail shortly after they’d entered the freeway. The noise from her crying had jangled his nerves until his temples had throbbed. When she’d finally quieted down, he’d taken a long and deep breath of relief, though he still suffered from a dull headache.

From time to time in the office, Sophie let out a shrill noise, or banged a slobbery rubber toy until it squeaked. Over and over. Would he ever get used to being around a kid?

At the first outburst, Mandy had jumped in her seat and tossed her pen in surprise. He’d bitten back his urge to laugh at her. Yeah, well, get used to it. This is the reality of a baby, sweetheart.

Mandy looked even more tired than yesterday, as though she’d only gotten a few hours’ sleep. Considering all that his guilty conscience had dredged up last night, about what he’d once said or done to Mandy, he’d managed to sleep fairly well. But packing up a child and commuting at the peak traffic hour had put him behind schedule again. Sophie hated being cooped up in a car seat, and made his life miserable with protest. This routine would grow stale quickly, but he’d do it—because he’d committed to Mandy and Dr. Hersh, and he owed them both. He owed it to his father, too.

Noticing the tension at the corners of Mandy’s eyes, he wondered if their being forced to work together was such a good idea after all. Did either of them need to be reminded that they’d once shared a great love and blown it? And now he was dangling the baby she’d wanted all along right before her eyes.

“Here,” he said. “I snagged you a cup of coffee from the employee lounge. You look like you need it.”

“Oh, thanks. But you have it.”

“You’re saying no to coffee? Are you the same woman who used to savor that first cup every day?”

She gave a lifeless smile that didn’t come close to her eyes. “Now I only do decaf.”

That was certainly a change. Something wasn’t right, and he had strong suspicions it had nothing to do with the coffee.

“Is something bothering you?” He took a sip rather than waste the drink.

“What? Oh, no.” She reached for the stack of neatly piled charts on her desk and took the next one.

“You seem upset about something. It’s me, isn’t it?”

Her shoulders slumped and she stopped thumbing through the charts. “Men.” She sighed. She thinned her lips and shook her head. “You’re not the center of my universe, Hunter.”

To lighten things up, he feigned a wound to the heart and waited for her to unwind a bit. “What is it, then? Is there something I can help you with?”

“Do you really need to know? We’re nothing more than business associates. Remember?”

In other words…back off. Hunter nodded knowingly. “Gotcha.” He reached for his next patient’s chart and made some preliminary notes on the form to distract himself as Mandy’s words echoed in his head. We’re nothing more than business associates.

By lunchtime they’d each performed ten physicals. Amanda hoped she could set up the participants with the overnight halter monitors quickly. She wanted to leave early to rest a bit before her Urgent Care duty, which began at seven. Hunter had told her he had alate-a fternoon clinic scheduled back at Mercy Hospital. In light of her recent diagnosis, she knew she needed to stay calm and get more rest, but life wasn’t exactly cooperating. She’d had palpitations a couple of times already this morning, and couldn’t afford to keep feeling so stressed. If she didn’t watch out she would wind up back in the ER. And then where would her Mending Hearts Club program be?

And Hunter. How was she supposed to handle working with him every day, pretending she was fine with it, and that her heart didn’t still have a gaping wound where he was concerned? The smell of his aftershave reminded her how, when they’d first broken up, she’d bought his brand and sniffed it like potpourri. Then cried until her nose was congested and she couldn’t smell anymore. How pitiful was that?

Amanda sat at her desk, cradling her forehead in her hands. Sophie was quiet, and Amanda had been so wrapped up in her thoughts she’d forgotten the baby was even there. Was that treating her like a houseplant? She glanced into the playpen. Sophie had fallen asleep; no wonder she hadn’t noticed her. The nap probably had to do with the soothing nocturne now playing on Hunter’s laptop. Too bad it hadn’t helped her headache.

“There’s nothing like Chopin’s piano pieces to massage the nerves.” Hunter’s distinct masculine voice as he entered the room made Amanda gasp and jerk her head up. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I’m just a bit edgy,” she said. “I don’t recall you being a Chopin man.”

“You’re looking at the new and improved version of me.”

“Yeah? Well, for the record, I liked your old nose better.” Why did his mere presence make her feel so testy?

Taking her rebuke in his stride, Hunter sat and hitched half his mouth into a smile, then rubbed the bump on the bridge of his nose. “Yeah? Well, I got it defending myself against a gang of hoodlums.”

“Really?” she said flatly.

“Must have been a dozen of them. Came at me from all angles.” “Uh-huh.” His efforts at lightening her mood failed miserably. “And they were huge.

She avoided looking at him, fearing she might crack a smile. After a moment, he rolled his chair next to hers. He had that I’ve-been-thinking look in his eyes.

When they’d been married, and they’d had a problem to solve, he’d withdraw for anywhere from a few hours to a few days—then suddenly resurface with that exact expression to present his fail-safe plan. The problem was, she’d rarely agreed with his solutions.

Well, here he was beside her, looking that way again, and she wondered what great insight he was about to share.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said.

She almost smiled.

He touched her hand with one finger, causing an unwanted spark of warmth on the underside of her wrist.

He gave an understanding nod. “This is a bizarre situation, given our history, but if we keep reminding ourselves it’s strictly a professional association, things should work out. I admit that seeing you has been a shock, and you’ve admitted it was the same for you, but we’ll get used to being around each other again.” He rested his hand on hers and looked into her eyes. She blinked. “Let’s just keep focused on why we’re here. This is for Joel and my father—and whatever reason you’re working so passionately for.”

She’d resisted that tingle at first contact by tricking herself into thinking it was a fluke. Her hand had been cold, and that was why she’d felt it. That was all. But now, with his hand on top of hers, the unsettled feeling made her want to squirm. The touch crept up the surface of her skin as if a cool breath tickled the inside of her elbow. It had been hard enough facing him after years of separation; now, adding this innocent touch, it all felt far too intimate. She couldn’t let herself go there.

“Mandy, you’re not the only one feeling all mixed up.”

“I realize that,” she said, removing her hand and diverting her eyes. Had he read her mind?

When had they changed places? Wasn’t she the one who’d used to initiate enlightening conversations and he who had given curt replies? Maybe his nose wasn’t all that had changed.

Having a sudden need to move away from him, she reached for the intercom and asked the receptionist to send the first patient in for halter monitor application. While she waited, she continued to avoid his gaze by pretending to read the patient’s chart. She couldn’t decipher a single word.

“Hello, Mrs. Drake.” Amanda stood and gestured for the patient to sit at the chair in front of her desk. “Are you ready to wear the halter all night?”

“Will it get really irritating when I try to sleep?”

“Maybe a little, but you’ll survive.”

“Okay, I’ll give it a shot,” the round, middle-aged lady replied cheerfully.

Amanda assisted the woman by applying the EKG leads after the patient had opened her blouse. She removed the monitor from its portable pocket and unwrapped the wires, before connecting it to the leads on Mrs. Drake, then she put the device back into its halter pocket for easy traveling. She’d analyze the findings tomorrow, along with all of the others.

Demonstrating his somewhat improved caregiver skills, Hunter removed Sophie’s bottle of formula from the portable bottle warmer—which Mandy had helped him set up—and checked the contents for heat level on the inside of his wrist, as previously instructed by Mandy, before giving it to his niece. Amanda tried her best not to notice, but the office was so small.

While she received her next patient, and the baby gulped her meal, he quietly packed up all of his paraphernalia, picked up Sophie, and left the clinic without so much as a nod or a goodbye.

Amanda refused to be affected. Would she expect anything more from any other colleague? After all, she’d been busy with a patient. If Dr. Beiderman had become her mentor and had left without saying goodbye, would she feel slighted? Not at all. Business associates had schedules to keep regardless of social niceties. That was the frame of mind she must keep while dealing with Hunter—strictly professional.

So what was this empty feeling settling into the center of her chest? And why did the office seem so dead and lifeless now?

She shook her head, refusing to go down that old and familiar road. Instead, she decided that if she were going to survive the Mending Hearts Club program, she’d need rules. Rules to keep things in perspective. She called for her next patient and while she waited scribbled a short list, just like she used to do. She planned to run it by Hunter tomorrow.

Hunter tossed his briefcase on his desk, slid into the cushy leather chair and rubbed his neck. The freeway drive back to Mercy Hospital had been bumper to bumper, and Sophie had wailed most of the way. This time music hadn’t calmed her down. He felt the tension right…there. Ah.

Thankfully Sophie had slept for the last part of the drive, but how long would she tolerate being cooped up in her car seat on a daily basis? And when he was finally able to contact Jade, how would he explain his three-hour round-trip commute? She would not approve.

If there’d been any way to avoid taking on his niece, he would have suggested it. But Jade would never have considered leaving her baby with their mother, and Hunter would never expect her to. He ground his teeth, wishing Jade had at least one girlfriend she trusted as much as him.

For now his medical assistant, Maria, a short, plump woman with a gentle spirit, a contagious smile and a penchant for babies, had Sophie at her workstation while he prepared for his jam-packed afternoon clinic. He’d never be able to thank her enough. She bounced the baby on her knee until Hunter heard his niece’s hearty belly laugh. It should have made him smile.

He bored a hole into the dark mahogany wood with his stare while he rubbed his temples and tried not to think about Mandy.

The commute had zapped his energy, too. Instinctively he reached for his earphones and plugged them in. He’d listen to Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries for a quick boost of energy.

Three months ago he’d taken Jade to music therapy for her depression. It hadn’t helped her one iota, but through music he’d gotten in touch with his deepest feelings and, though shocking at first, had discovered his true gifts as a doctor.

The music therapy instructor had said he was a wounded healer, intuitive and caring. Yeah, he’d thought, with a wry smile, next he’d be reading his horoscope. Truth was, with the help of carefully chosen music, he’d noticed he could change Sophie’s moods as much as his own. And if he could calm a baby down with music, wouldn’t daily music and relaxation be beneficial for the heart study patients, too? He wondered if it might have helped his father.

Already Mandy’s project mattered to him. He wanted to be useful, not a distraction for her. Maybe if she could put the past aside and see how sincere he was in wanting to help, they could pull this project off. But if their being thrown together felt one- tenth as hard for her as it did for him, he knew it wouldn’t be easy.