Forget Prince Charming

Dear Reader,

Did you ever have a girl pal who was smart and pretty, but so incredibly blind that she chased shallow studs who barely gave her the time of day? Oh, boy, I did. A few of them, actually. I’d bully and beg, but, oh no. She’d insist he was the one, and heartbreak here she comes. And meanwhile, there was this sweet guy who worshiped the ground she walked on.

Then I thought, hmm. What if she really did take my advice? Suppose—just as a matter of principle and a way to change her life for the better—a girl like my friend decided to ignore those bad boys in favor of the sweet but nondescript type? And then, what if, with all good intentions, she took it to extremes…?

And thus began Haley’s search for the prince of frogs. This was, beyond anything I’ve ever written, the book of my heart. I hope you enjoy Rick and Haley’s story as much as I did.

Wishing you romance and laughter,

Natalie Stenzel

“Haley, you’ve got to give Rick a chance.”

She stared at her best friend as though Jen had suddenly grown a second head. “What are you saying? Have you forgotten my vow not to date princes? Rick is a total prince.”

“I think you should reconsider. Your face lights up when you talk about him.”

“Sure, he’s hot. He’s even fun to hang out with. But that’s as far as I go. He’s too good-looking.”

Jen rolled her eyes.

“No, seriously, Jen, I’m through with good-looking men. I lose my head when they turn on the charm. And Rick is smooth. Lethally smooth.”

“Maybe. I’ve only seen the guy once.” Jen sounded entirely too doubtful for Haley’s liking. “Hey, why don’t you arrange for me to meet him again?”

“Forget it, Jen. There’s no reason for you to check him out, because I’m not dating him. He’s my neighbor and a platonic friend. End of story.” And maybe if Haley repeated that often enough, she’d believe it, too.

Forget Prince Charming

Natalie Stenzel

www.millsandboon.co.uk

This one’s for Steve, with all my love, for all the hours you invested in my dream, and for believing in me, long before I ever did. You’re one in a million.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Natalie Stenzel was a girl who just couldn’t keep her nose out of (gasp!) a romance novel. Still, she denied her dreamy inclinations long enough to earn respectable degrees in English literature and magazine journalism from the University of Missouri-Columbia. She even flirted with business writing and freelancing for a while, considered going back to school for another respectable degree…only to return to her one true love: romance. Born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri, Natalie now resides in lovely Virginia with her husband and two children, happy to live a dream (or several) come true.

Dear Reader,

When you’re stressed out with the holidays and looking forward to stealing a little time for yourself, we’ve got the perfect solution! Pick up the latest Harlequin Flipside novel and take a well-deserved break. Our fun, witty and exciting romantic comedies will be sure to chase away the blues. Of course, if you’re the type who loves the hustle and bustle, then the burst of energy you’ll get from the book will make your day, too!

This month we’re featuring Do-Over by Dorien Kelly. Have you ever hidden your true potential just to attract a guy? This heroine did it once, just once, and has regretted it ever since. She’s always wanted to go back and do it differently. Looks as if she’s getting her chance, because guess who’s back in town….

We also have brand-new author Natalie Stenzel with Forget Prince Charming. Our heroine has discovered—the hard way—that those good-looking princes aren’t always the best dates. So she’s determined to find herself a “frog.” But she can’t catch any frogs if she can’t see past her gorgeous neighbor!

These Harlequin Flipside books blend romance with a good dose of wit and cleverness and are sure to bring a smile to your face. Be sure to check us out online at www.harlequinflipside.com.

Enjoy!

Wanda Ottewell

Editor

Mary-Theresa Hussey

Executive Editor

Contents

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Epilogue

1

“TO HELL WITH PRINCE CHARMING. I’ll take the frog.”

Haley Watson slammed into The Toy Boxx, sending the jingle bell above the door into a violent clanking. She tossed her purse under the sales counter and grabbed a broom. Soon she was swishing it back and forth with enough energy to send bits of straw flying in both directions.

Still muttering under her breath, Haley glanced over her shoulder to see Jennifer Grayson, her business partner, watching her. She’d been attending to a customer when Haley made her violent entry. Jen turned back to the tall man at her side, spoke a few words and gestured smilingly at a mountain of stuffed animals. Thus excusing herself, she approached Haley, giving the wildly swinging broom a wide berth.

“Trouble in fairy-tale land?” Jen murmured casually.

“You could say that.” Swipe, swish.

Jen glanced at the blond man sorting through stuffed animals, then moved to discreetly block Haley from his view. “What happened?”

“Same old thing.” Swish, swish. “You date a decent guy. He tells you he’s in love.” Swish, slash. “Then he ends up boffing his secretary behind your back anyway.” She punctuated her words with a violent smack of the broom. “Jerk.” At the last imprecation, their customer glanced back at them. Blue eyes studied them in open curiosity.

Smiling reassurance at the man, Jen plucked the broom from Haley’s hands and set it aside. She led Haley by the elbow to a coloring table on the other side of the store.

“Sit.”

Haley dropped into a child-size chair. The fit was perfect, as Haley wasn’t much larger than a child herself. Her shoulders slumped and she twined her fingers together in a big, white-knuckled fist.

“Okay. Now give.” Jen’s voice was a soft command.

Haley blinked furiously at her tears, glancing at Jen and then away. “I wanted to surprise Peter. So I dropped by his office after lunch. I found him at his desk. With his secretary. And I don’t think they were discussing business.”

Jen’s eyes widened. “Peter? Your boyfriend?”

“The guy who wanted me to spend the weekend on the lake with him? The guy who claims to love me? Yeah, that’s the one. I walked in on them. Having sex on his desk.”

Jen’s lips tightened in sympathy. “Oh, Haley.”

“He didn’t even look up when I opened the door.”

“He doesn’t know you saw him with her?”

“Oh, he knows.” Haley’s voice grew stronger. “I got on his secretary’s intercom and announced an emergency meeting in his office. ASAP. That got his attention.”

“You didn’t!”

“I did. And he all but shoved his new girlfriend off the desk trying to find his pants.”

Jen tossed her head back, laughing. “Oh, that’s good. I should have known you wouldn’t just slink off quietly.”

“Why should I?” Haley raised her chin, feeling militant on behalf of all womankind. Defiantly, she met the eyes of the blond man who was openly staring at them. He smiled slightly, disarmingly, then turned back to the mound of plush animals.

Jen, who missed the exchange, ended her laughter on a sigh. Her expression grew more serious as she studied her friend. “I’m glad you didn’t let him get away with it.” She paused then continued more softly. “Are you okay?”

Haley shrugged, the glow of victory fading to disappointment. “I’ll live. At least I caught him before we went away together.”

“Were you really going to spend the weekend with him?”

Haley shrugged. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really made up my mind yet. He seemed so perfect. He was handsome, charming, successful. He seemed to really care about me. Did I mention the handsome and charming part?”

Jen eyed her sympathetically. “It’s rotten, I know. But I have to admit I’m kind of relieved. I was starting to worry that you were talking yourself into love with him just because everyone else thought he was wonderful.”

Haley looked up in surprise. Jen had never voiced such doubts before. “I think I could have loved him. Or at least the man I thought he was.” Her glance slid over to the blonde, who had dropped to one knee and was now studying a collection of trucks on a low shelf. Faded denim stretched taut across tight buttocks, the waistband gapping slightly in complement to the hard contours of the man’s back. Annoyed with her wandering gaze, Haley forced her attention away from their customer. No more princes!

Jen tapped a long fingernail against her lips, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “I don’t know. Has it occurred to you that you’re not exactly heartbroken by what Peter did? Angry, sure. But devastated? No.”

Haley weighed Jen’s observation, honestly tried to picture herself living with Peter. Spending every day with him. She couldn’t see it. How was that for honesty? “I guess Peter wasn’t exactly the love of my life. It was humiliating to catch him cheating on me, though.”

“Not as humiliating as having your co-workers catch you with your pants down, I’ll bet.”

At that, Haley managed to crack a tiny smile. “Good point.”

Jen shook her head and squeezed Haley’s shoulder. “You’re better off without him.”

“I know.”

“You okay?”

Haley nodded and stood up.

“Good girl. I guess I’d better get back to it.”

Jen retraced her way across the store. The blonde focused his smile on Jen, though his glance kept straying back to Haley.

Conscious of the tearstains on her face, Haley turned her back on the man. She picked up the broom she’d been abusing and resumed her task—without her earlier vigor. She pulled chairs out to sweep crayon bits off the floor, rearranged a stack of picture books and checked a dollhouse display for damage. She saw that only a tiny teacup had fallen prey to little fingers.

The Toy Boxx, located in a trendy little plaza in west St. Louis County, Missouri, was a popular hangout for kids whose parents were shopping at the nearby department store. Some of those faces had grown familiar and even dear to Haley over the summer. Now that school was in session, she’d miss the constant stream of pint-size customers. She loved their joy, their enthusiasm, even their mischief.

So when did such open, sincere creatures turn into the deceiving jerks she’d dated her whole life? she wondered.

Absently, she listened to Jen explaining the features of a remote control car. The deep rumble of a masculine voice echoed in the pit of her stomach. Haley forced herself not to look over her shoulder at the source.

Her dating failures had become so comical she and Jen had taken to nicknaming them. First there had been Football Flynn, her high school boyfriend who had played the field in more ways than one. Then there was her college sweetheart, dubbed Big-Man-On-Campus Brad. His charisma and wicked green eyes had charmed both her and her bank account into a puddle beneath his feet.

There had been a few casual relationships with men since then, but no one truly serious until Peter. He’d seemed so decent and so attractive, so incredibly perfect that she and Jen had dubbed him Prince Peter. That should have been her first clue. When he’d asked her out and intimated a future together, it had seemed almost too good to be true. She’d pictured herself living happily ever after with a handsome, loving husband. Some fairy tale this turned out to be. Jerk.

The unmistakable sound of the cash drawer opening and closing drew her attention.

“Thanks, Mr. Samuels. Have a nice day.” The pleasant tones of Jen’s voice were soothing to Haley.

“I appreciate the help.” As he turned and strode toward the door, his eyes met Haley’s. She stared. He smiled and nodded slightly before opening the door. The bell jingled cheerily after his exit. Something about the man seemed vaguely familiar. Haley frowned a moment, thoughtful, then shook her head and sighed. She couldn’t place him.

She turned back to Jen. “Sorry I caused such a scene, especially with a customer in the store. It was incredibly unprofessional.”

Jen grinned. “I don’t think he minded.” She hustled to the back room and returned with a box, which she passed off to Haley.

Haley set the box behind the cash register then began gathering up the defective toys to be returned. “I don’t get it, Jen. Why do the men I date always turn out to be rotten? All men can’t be that bad. Frank’s not.”

Jen smiled at the mention of her husband. “No, he’s not.”

“So how do I find my Frank?”

Jen paused thoughtfully. “I don’t know. Patience helps. That way you’re not rushing into relationships with men who aren’t worth your time. Look around you. The nice guys aren’t going to jump up and shout for attention. The attention hounds are probably the jerks you’ve been dating.”

Haley considered that idea, thinking of the sexy blonde who’d just left the store. Much like Peter, the man had the kind of good looks and presence that commanded a woman’s attention. “That makes sense, I suppose.”

“Of course it does.” Automatically smoothing a mailing label onto the box, Jen warmed up to her subject. “Women overlook the nice guys all the time. They don’t even see the kind of guy who worships a girl in silence, who offers friendship but hopes for more. The guy who loses out. The nice guy who finishes last.”

Enlightenment. Haley squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. “My mother was right. I should have married Jimmy Plankett.”

“Jimmy who?”

“I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I didn’t realize all this before.”

“Slow down, Haley. You’re making my head spin.”

“It’s so simple. You’re saying I’ve only been looking at the guys who attract lots of attention. The good-looking, charismatic ones. The kind of guy who can sweet-talk his way past a woman’s good sense and straight into her heart.” Haley started pacing furiously and gesturing with her hands as she worked through her developing theory.

“Right. So?”

“Well, a woman dazzled out of her common sense isn’t going to pick up on all those little clues that should tell her the hunk has some major character flaws.”

“Okay, I’m with you.” She eyed Haley warily. “I think.”

“Well, I’m tired of being dazzled and clueless. I’m tired of falling blindly for faithless jerks. It’s too exhausting. I think it’s time to take a more practical approach to finding a man. And this time I’m going to focus on a different breed of guy altogether.”

Haley pressed a knuckle to pursed lips, realigning her thoughts before she continued in a thoughtful tone. “In order to find a guy like Frank or Jimmy, I really do need to ignore the good-looking Prince Charmings in this world. And start checking out the frogs.”

“Uh-huh. You’re losing me, Haley.”

Haley sighed, wondering how to get her point across without being insulting. “I need to look for someone who isn’t flashy or good-looking. When I’m with a hottie, I get all caught up in his looks and can’t see past that. I want the nice guy who lost out to the gorgeous jerk. Basically, I need to find my very own sweet, reliable, but very overlookable—” She paused to look around, searching and sputtering, before settling almost defiantly on the appropriate term. “—geek.”

Jen eyed her for a shocked moment. “I see. I don’t know whether to be offended that you’re calling Frank a geek or curious about this perfect Jimmy Plankett.”

Haley waved her hands as if to erase the impression of her last statement. “I didn’t mean anything personal against Frank. He’s perfect. I want one just like him. All I meant in suggesting he was a geek is that you don’t look at him the first time and immediately realize his great qualities. Nothing about him shouts Stud Muffin or Mr. Personality. But, according to you, he’s a wonderful husband. Right?”

Jen laughed reluctantly. “Okay. I see what you’re getting at. So tell me about Jimmy Plankett.”

Haley paused, smiling slightly. “Jimmy Plankett gave me my first kiss.”

“This makes him a geek?”

Haley turned stern eyes on her friend. “Do you want to hear this or not?”

“Sorry. You were saying?”

“Okay.” Haley paused, gathering her thoughts. “I was in seventh grade and Jimmy and I had this mutual crush going on. We’d pass goopy notes and hold hands in the hallway. Innocent stuff.” She closed her eyes, remembering. “He was very shy. Short, too. But nice eyes.” She sighed. “Anyway. I could tell he wanted to kiss me for a long time but he couldn’t quite work up the nerve. Then one day, right in front of my locker at school, he pulled me close and kissed me.”

“How sweet.” Jen smiled.

“Hmm. Yes. But then our braces locked together.”

Jen groaned.

Haley nodded. “My algebra teacher had to walk us to the principal’s office so they could call for help to untangle us. There we were, joined at the eyeteeth, stumbling down the hallway together with kids laughing and whispering. Talk about embarrassing.” She grimaced momentarily then looked up to meet Jen’s eyes. “But you know what? Jimmy held my hand through the whole thing.”

“He’s the perfect guy?”

Haley’s smile was smug. “Even better. He’s Mr. Sweet Geek, like your Frank. His kind of guy would never dream of cheating on his girlfriend.”

“So, whatever happened to you two?”

This was the embarrassing part of the story. “Well, I kind of broke it off after the cutest guy in our class asked me to dance at the Spring Fling. I swear, for weeks and weeks after that I only had eyes for…” She paused, frowning. “You know, I can’t even remember his name anymore. But I do remember Jimmy.”

“Really.” Jen gave her a pointed look.

Haley groaned. “Yes, really. Oh my God. That’s my problem, isn’t it? I never matured past the age of thirteen.”

“Ah. Progress at last. So where do we find Jimmy Plankett?”

Haley made a face. “According to my mother, in Omaha, Nebraska, married with three kids. Mom keeps track of these things. Pulls them out with the guilt trips whenever she’s interrogating me about my love life and her grandbaby prospects. The woman is dangerous, I tell you. Intelligent and subtly, persistently malicious.”

Jen laughed. “She is not, you idiot. She just wants you to be happy and have lots of babies for her.”

“Yes, I know, and if I don’t find a man of my own, I guarantee she’s going to find one for me.”

“Why don’t you let her? She probably meets available men every day at the TV station.”

Haley gave her a harassed look. “Just whose side are you on anyway?”

Jen grinned back unrepentantly. “Yours, yours. Forgive me, I couldn’t resist.”

“I’ll forgive you if you help me find a sweet geek of my own.”

Jen’s grin faded at the sincerity behind Haley’s words. “You’re serious about this.” She stared hard at her friend and her voice grew cautious. “Now, Haley. I think you need to calm down a little before you do anything crazy. You’ve never been seriously attracted to a Frank or a Jimmy Plankett. I personally think you’d walk all over somebody like that. Besides that, don’t you think you’re tackling this project a little too soon after your breakup with Peter?”

Haley shook her head resolutely. “I’m twenty-eight, Jen, and the clock is ticking. Come on, you’re only six months older than me and you already have a career, a husband, two kids and a mortgage. I’m way behind. And it’s your duty, as my best friend and role model—”

“My duty!”

“—to help me catch up. So, where do I meet my man?” She looked up expectantly, never doubting that eventually…

Jen sighed, her gaze still on Haley. “Oh, all right. If you really want to do this, I’d better help you. With a plan as flaky as this, someone needs to keep an eye on you.”

Seeing the doubt that still lingered on Jen’s face, Haley sighed. “Look. I know all of this sounds hokey. Just another harebrained Haley scheme.” She paused. “It’s just that I’ve realized something about myself. Something bad enough to warrant drastic, corrective measures.”

Jen gave her a curious look. “What?”

“Well…in all the ways that count, I guess I’ve been as much of an idiot about dating as these guys who keep disappointing me.” Haley grimaced. “You don’t fall in love with a guy’s tight butt or cute grin. That’s just stupid and shallow, but that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing up to this point. So, in that respect at least, I suppose I’ve deserved every jerk I’ve ever dated.

“But I’m through with all that. I swear.” Haley held up a hand as though vowing. “It’s time I grew up and started looking a little deeper. And this plan…” She shrugged. “Well, look at it as a first step toward that.”

Jen regarded her with new interest. “You know, Hale, I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve said since you stormed into this place. Well, besides the part where you dumped Peter.” She grinned.

“So that means you’ll help me?”

“I said I would.” Her eyes clouding in thought, Jen began taping up the box, winding, snipping and smoothing, her motions methodical.

“Thank God.” Recognizing that Jen was now completely in her corner, Haley cased the front sidewalk for customers. No one in sight. She reached behind the counter for a clipboard and pen and looked up expectantly. “So where do we start?”

“Just hold on. I’m thinking.”

Setting the clipboard on the counter, Haley wrote Strategies for—Then she paused, frowning. Something descriptive? Like Finding my very own sweet and reliable, if—Oh, just go for direct. Strategies for Geek Hunting. Good. To the point. She quickly scribbled it down and glanced up.

Her gaze directed out the front window, Jen was already muttering thoughtfully. “I guess the best way to approach this would be from a career and interest standpoint.”

“Exactly. Career and interest. No shallow studs. I want a guy capable of conversation.” She jotted No studs. “But how do I do that?”

“Hangouts, maybe?” Jen murmured doubtfully. “We could target a few interesting places and go from there.”

“Right.” Haley jotted Target locations with high geek probability and underlined it.

“Libraries, bookstores, computer stores. Hmm. That last one’s good. You won’t find some self-involved, directionless hunk in a computer store.” Jen turned a speculative eye on her friend.

Haley was scribbling away furiously. “Computer store.” She looked up. “Bingo. That’s first. I’ll try that new Computer Nation around the corner.”

“Okay. But, Haley…”

“What?”

“Suppose you find a guy…like this. What will you do? How on earth are you going to approach him?”

“Well. Subtly, I suppose.” Haley frowned. “I guess I need to adjust my attitude, huh? Take extra care choosing the guy…and then seem approachable?”

“Couldn’t hurt.”

“Right. Approachable. Maybe even tone down…”

“What?” Jen sounded alarmed.

“Just a sec.” Haley, lost in thought, tapped her pen on the clipboard. She knew she tended to go overboard with her clothes sometimes. She hung out with kids and a friend most of the day, and bright colors were suitable for that. But this was different. She didn’t want to scare guys away by dressing in neon colors or zebra stripes. She paused, then jotted Dress down. Neutral classics. Nothing trendy.

The guy could be shy, too. Shy guys would slip right past her usual radar unless…She scribbled some more. Big smiles. Unthreatening but obvious approach. Now, how to relax him so she could get to know him as he really was…maybe appeal to his strengths? Yes. Stroke ego liberally. She considered but refrained from underlining liberally. A girl had her limits.