Rachel’s Pudding Pantry

Rachel scrolled over the images with an ache of loss in her heart as she looked across at Dad’s empty chair. Why did he have to go and leave them? How the hell had that happened? So many whys and unanswered questions. She felt a tear crowd her eye.

But it was no good getting nostalgic. She had to hold it together to keep the farm going for the three of them now, look at ways of making it more profitable, to keep them afloat. She couldn’t be the one to let them all down, to see it sold off. Primrose Farm was their legacy – and their beloved home.

So, if the pudding idea could help the farm, and as it was something Jill really enjoyed, it was worth at least looking into. There were plenty of people who stayed locally in holiday cottages who might like a treat, there were busy mums and wives with little time to bake, people on their own like Tom, the elderly – a whole host of potential customers who might like to buy a lovely homemade pudding.

There was a pudding on the screen now, the packaging wrapped in muslin. Hmm, Rachel’s mind turned to Eve, her crafting friend. She’d know how to make something similar. Ooh, maybe they could have a selection of puddings, wrapped in something pretty with a bow around and a ‘Primrose Farm’ tag.

The ideas were rolling now. For the first time in a long while, Rachel felt a spark of excitement.

This was definitely food for thought!

A little while later, Jill came down from her bath.

‘Hey, Mum. Feeling more relaxed now?’

‘Yes, love. That was just what I needed – a hot soak in some bubbles.’

Rachel wondered whether to share her newly hatched pudding idea. She’d seen how her mum was starting to enjoy her baking again, but would suggesting that she turn her flair into something more business-like take away all the joy from it? Would Jill feel pressured to help out if she knew how tight their finances really were? And could letting her in on the farm’s dire financial state undo all the progress she was making?

No, Rachel decided to hold back and keep these thoughts to herself. She was afraid to broach this just yet, uncertain as to how it would be taken. She’d have to find some other way to stop the farm’s overdraft deepening for now. Her mum’s positive progress through that painful journey of grief was far more important than any business venture idea. She was just glad that the old Jill was slowly but surely finding her way back home.

Chapter 7

UNICORNS AND CUPCAKES

Life on the farm was far too busy for Rachel to mope about dwelling on their problems, however big they were. There was lambing to get on with, the small herd of cattle to be fed and mucked out, plus there was the persistent mountain of paperwork to trawl through.

Maisy’s recent question about her missing father was also playing on Rachel’s mind – now she was growing up, how was this affecting her? And thinking of her growing up, there was also a birthday to plan for. Maisy’s special day was approaching fast. Rachel was determined to give her daughter a wonderful birthday, but how did you make a little girl’s party special on a shoestring budget? Rachel sighed. Oh well, she rallied, if anyone could do it, she and Jill could.

It was Saturday of the following week, and the day of Maisy’s birthday.

‘Mumm-ee! Come on, come on. It’s today!’

‘Ah … hi, Maisy …’ Rachel was trying to come to from a foggy haze, with a very excited five-year-old bouncing up and down on her bed.

‘Grandma’s making pancakes too!’

Five-year-old … that was it! ‘Oh fabulous … happy birthday sweetheart.’

Rachel stretched and rubbed her bleary eyes. Last night had seen her up until past midnight as she tried to get the surprise party venue ready after Maisy had gone to bed. So, just as her knees were buckling and her eyelids drooping, the grand finale was that eighteen young children were due to arrive today at 2 p.m. Rachel was getting palpitations just thinking about it.

Down in the farmhouse kitchen, Jill was busy making a breakfast of pancakes for them all as a treat, along with thickly buttered toast and mugs of warming hot chocolate.

‘Good morning, birthday girl,’ she called to Maisy. ‘You’ll need some pancakes to help you grow big and strong, I bet?’

There was a choice of scrumptious pancake fillings all lined up on the side: lemon and sugar, banana and homemade toffee sauce, or chocolate spread. Maisy plumped for the chocolate ones, Rachel for a lemon-sugar closely followed by a toffee-banana. She figured she’d need her energy levels up for the day ahead, after all. Jill sat with them soon afterwards with her own lemon stack, and a well-earned mug of tea.

There were some birthday gifts for Maisy to open – one from Grandma Ruth and a couple of small ones from Rachel and Jill, including a new party frock for today. Their main present was outside ready for Maisy to discover later – they’d been saving hard over the past few weeks, the household expenses being on an extra-tight budget to do so. Jake’s parents, who now lived further south, near to Leeds, had sent something on in the post too, which was kind of them. Typically, there was nothing from Maisy’s dad himself, and no word on his whereabouts or even whether he’d got Rachel’s message about the party today. Rachel tried to push that particular worry to the back of her mind.

Jill had set to work baking and by mid-morning twenty-four cupcakes were neatly lined up on the cooling rack in the kitchen, ready to be iced and decorated with sugar-paper unicorns and hundreds-and-thousands sprinkles. There were also two large Victoria sponge bases she had made, ready for Rachel to sandwich together with jam and buttercream and cover with royal icing. Rachel was then to create the birthday cake bonanza with an arch of rainbow-coloured icing, some edible flowers she was yet to craft and a sprinkling of coloured stars. She had bought the cutest sugar-paste unicorn and a number ‘5’ to then pop on the top.

Rachel’s mind spun as she listed all the things left to do: icing the cake, finishing the decoration of the barn party venue, setting up the bouncy castle and slide … Along with Granny Ruth, she and Jill had been saving for ages to get the new play equipment for the party as Maisy’s main birthday present. They hoped it would be a wise purchase and help entertain the rabble of children at the party, as well as provide hours of fun for Maisy and her friends for the summer months to come.

Rachel began colouring strips of icing with food dyes to make the rainbow arch. She had ready-made stars to sprinkle over and was going to cut out and delicately mould some flower shapes from the left-over coloured icing.

Fifteen minutes later, Jill walked past the kitchen bench where she was working just as she was putting on the finishing touches with the unicorn topper. ‘Wow, that looks great. I’m impressed.’

Rachel had thought the rainbow was a bit skew-whiff, but as she stood back and looked at the finished cake, she could see it wasn’t bad at all – yes, a pretty good effort.

‘Maisy will love it,’ Jill confirmed.

Rachel hoped so; her little girl had already been disappointed this morning, after once again asking if her daddy was going to come to the party. She’d been asking every day this last week, but despite Rachel sending numerous texts, phoning and leaving answerphone messages as well as trying a couple of emails to his last known contact address, Jake hadn’t bothered to respond. Rachel had tried to let Maisy down gently, but she knew that her daughter was still clinging onto the belief that he’d turn up.

Jake hadn’t made it for the last three birthdays, so Rachel didn’t expect to see him at this one. She didn’t actually even know where he was in the country, or if he still was in this country. His parents lived over a hundred miles away too, so they wouldn’t be visiting, though they had sent a gift and always kept in touch with Maisy at birthdays and Christmas and the like. Rachel didn’t think even they knew where their son was most of the time. In some ways, it was easier for Rachel that he did keep his distance so she could get on with raising Maisy her own way. But it was Maisy who was starting to need him now, or at least to need to know who he was. Who he was, was in fact an unreliable, commitment-phobic, selfish tosser. In reality, he might well be a disruptive influence and a disappointment to Maisy, Rachel mused, but maybe that was unfair. Perhaps, by some miracle, he might have grown up a bit himself by now, and of course her daughter did need her dad. She certainly wanted to be like the other kids who had dads around, her little girl having become more aware of his absence since starting school. Well, if he did turn up it would be a bit of a shock and a minor miracle, but only time would tell.

With the birthday cake completed, Rachel needed to crack on with getting the barn ready. She passed Moss in the kitchen, giving him a pat on the head, and headed through to the porch to pull on her wellies.

‘Come on Moss, boy, let’s go and get this party started.’

Rachel headed across the yard and yanked open the two heavy wooden barn doors that shaped into an arch. A sparrow darted out – it must be nesting in there. The morning light filled the space and the honeyed-stone walls glowed. It really was pretty in there. For years it had been hidden in dust and straw, with heaps of old sacks, discarded tools, and a few bags of sheep feed. Yesterday, they’d had a damned good clear-out, moving what was useful to one end of the lambing shed, discarding the rest. The flagstone floor was brushed clean, and the cobwebs and dust dispersed – it had taken some time!

Rachel did a quick count of all the chairs they’d ferried in there. They had nineteen bottoms to seat plus parents – hmm. She took out her mobile phone. She needed a friendly neighbour.

‘Tom?’

‘Hi, Rachel. All okay?’

‘Yes, thanks. I just need a bit of a favour.’

‘Okay, ask away.’

‘It’s Maisy’s birthday today and we’re having a bit of a party for her friends. I’m here getting the barn ready, but I’ve realised we haven’t enough chairs for everyone.’

‘Hah, it’ll be bedlam. And yes, I thought her birthday was sometime soon. She’ll be excited.’

‘She sure is. She’s across with Eve and Amelia just now, whilst we get everything ready. There’re eighteen children coming … I can’t wait,’ Rachel groaned. ‘Anyway, do you have any spare chairs that we could borrow for this afternoon? Just some old ones will do, we don’t need anything fancy.’

‘Hah, there’s not much fancy in my house. I can bring across my patio ones and my kitchen set.’

‘Yes, please, that’d be brilliant. Cheers, Tom.’

‘No worries. I’ll be across in a while. I’m just up at The Ridge checking the ewes and lambs.’

‘Okay, well there’s no mad rush, just whenever you can make it before the two o’clock kick-off, if at all possible.’

‘Yeah, that’s fine. See you soon.’

‘You’re a star. Thank you.’ Rachel put away her phone.

Tom really was turning into a bit of a knight in shining armour these days, though she hoped she wasn’t leaning on him too much and becoming a pain.

Time rushed by in a whirl of bunting-fixing and paper-chain-hanging. Tom had arrived with the chairs and didn’t bat an eyelid when Rachel asked him to blow up thirty fuchsia-coloured balloons and to help lay the tables with paper plates and unicorn napkins.

She glanced at her watch – it was gone one-thirty already.

‘Crikey, we’ve only got half an hour to go. Maisy’ll be back any minute too, to change into her party dress.’

‘Well, I’ll let you get on. I have bought a little something for the birthday girl, so I’ll pop back across with it in a while,’ Tom said.

‘That’s very brave. Are you sure you’re up to handling nineteen four and five-year-olds?’

‘Well … I can try, but I’ll leave it at least an hour or so, let them all settle in. When are they expected to go?’ He gave a wry smile.

‘Hah – good thinking. It finishes around five-ish.’

‘Best of luck then, and I’ll see you all later. Wish Maisy a lovely time from me.’

‘Will do.’

‘It looks great in here by the way,’ he added, scanning the barn as he turned to leave.

‘Yeah, I’m really pleased with it. And, it’ll be far better than them all going crazy in the house.’

‘Hah, yes – well, have a good time!’

Jill arrived with a tray of clingfilmed sandwiches and freshly baked sausage rolls, just as Tom was about to leave.

‘Don’t tempt me.’ He grinned, eyeing the platter hungrily.

‘Go on, help yourself. A sausage roll won’t hurt, I’ve made a double batch. There’s a load more in the kitchen.’

‘Well, it’d be rude not to, I suppose.’ He took a bite of the crispy, melt in-the-mouth, sage, onion and sausage goodness. ‘Delicious!’ And with that he set off in his truck, giving a farewell toot.

Five minutes later, Eve turned up with a very excited little girl in tow – in fact two!

Maisy dashed out of the car. ‘Mumm-ee, we’ve been making finger puppets for the party. Animal ones – look, they’re so cute. There’s one for every party ba …’ She stopped in her tracks and stared, open-mouthed at the inside of the barn. ‘Wow-wee!’ she shouted, running in and doing a lap of the trestle tables. ‘A-maz-ing!’

Phew, she liked it! Rachel and Jill were beaming, their efforts having evidently been worthwhile.

‘Right petal, well you need to go upstairs and get changed into your new party dress right now, before all your friends get here.’

‘Ooh, yes.’ And Maisy skipped off towards the house, Amelia by her side, with Moss on their heels scooting across the yard, picking up on the buoyant mood.

‘Shall I stay and help?’ offered Eve. ‘Amelia’s already in her party gear, and I’ve got time on my hands. No point heading back home just to turn around again in twenty minutes.’

‘Aw, you are a star. That’d be great. Could you help Mum bring across the rest of the food whilst I’ll check Maisy’s getting dressed and ready okay?’

‘Yeah, no worries. Looks really great in there by the way,’ Eve nodded at the barn. ‘Think we’ll need to borrow the barn for all our kids’ parties. Save the wreckage to our own homes.’

‘Hah, we’ll see how it goes first! You might not be saying that by the end. It could be kiddie carnage.’

‘Well, at least you can just close the doors on the barn afterwards and retreat to the farmhouse for a glass of wine.’

‘True.’

‘Do you think we could close those doors for a while during the party too?’ Rachel added cheekily. ‘Adults outside and the kids in.’

The two friends chuckled.

‘It’ll be fine,’ rallied Jill. ‘What’s the worst a bunch of five-year-olds can do?’

Eve and Rachel both looked at each other, pulling a grimace. Anything could happen!

Chapter 8

BIRTHDAY TREATS, TEARS AND CHOCOLATE PUDDING

With Musical Chairs, Pass-the-Parcel, and the fabulously peaceful-for-the-parents Sleeping Lions game completed, it was time for the birthday tea.

The party food looked amazing, and Jill, Rachel and Maisy beamed proudly as the adults ‘Oohed’ and ‘Aahhed’, saying how delicious it all appeared, and the children tucked in. There were homemade sausage rolls, mini sausages, neatly cut triangle sandwiches, crisps and two ‘hedgehogs’ made of pineapple and cheese on sticks that Granny Ruth had brought with her – basically silver-foil-covered grapefruits with spiky snacks and some wiggly stick-on eyes. And, that was before you even got to the dessert selection of unicorn cupcakes, mini jam tarts, jellies and rocky road squares!

‘Granny Ruth, you need to come and sit here next to me.’ Maisy patted the chair next to her, with Amelia already settled on her other side.

Rachel caught Granny Ruth’s eye and had to suppress a giggle as she sat down with all the children. But, she soon looked like she was having a ball, smiling broadly and passing around the plates of treats.

‘I love your hedgehogs, Granny. They’re sooo cute,’ said Maisy.

‘Ah, thank you pet. I’m glad you like them. I used to make them just like that for your grandad when he was a little boy.’

‘Really? That must be ages ago.’

‘Yes, it was.’ And there was a tell-tale glisten in Granny Ruth’s eyes as she spoke.

Rachel found herself with a lump in her throat and Jill said she’d better head back across to the farmhouse to warm her individual sticky chocolate puds, which she was to serve with a blob of thick cream or local vanilla ice cream for the adults.

Amongst the attendees were Eve, Charlotte – another close friend of Rachel’s who lived nearby and worked as a teacher at a primary school – several of the school mums and a couple of the dads, and Jill’s closest friend, Jan, who was also a farmer’s wife. They could relax for a few precious minutes whilst the children were busy tucking into the party food – lulling their minders and parents into a false sense of security ahead of their imminent sugar rush!

With just one hour of the party to go, Rachel rushed up to get ready for the big ‘Birthday Cake Lighting Ceremony’. As she headed across the garden, Maisy came up and grabbed her hand.

‘Hey petal, you all right? Enjoying your party?’ Rachel asked.

‘Yes, it’s good, but is Daddy coming?’

Oh my, she was still hoping, bless her.

‘Nicholas says he’s not real,’ Maisy then blurted out. That figured … he was the brat-kid who Rachel had seen fighting over the last cupcake. ‘That I don’t really have a daddy, but I do, don’t I?’

‘Of course you do, Maisy, but like I said, Daddy’s a long way away right now and I really don’t know when he’ll come back.’ She could only be honest (though economical with the full detail) with her little girl. Lies would just lead to more disappointment. Maisy brushed away a fat tear with the back of her hand, breaking Rachel’s heart. She lifted her daughter up into a hug. Sometimes, as much as you tried to protect them, they still got hurt.

‘Hey sweetheart, you go and have some fun with your friends. Show them your brilliant new slide and bouncy castle. I bet Nicholas hasn’t got one of those in his garden.’

‘O-kay, yes. I will.’

Rachel popped her down next to the garden gate.

‘Come on, Amelia,’ Maisy called her best friend to her side. ‘Come see. I’ve got a new slide!’ The others heard and were soon dashing forwards too.

Tom’s truck then appeared on the driveway. He parked up and made his way over, avoiding an incoming tide of excitable children. ‘Hi Rachel, Jill.’

Several sets of ladies’ eyes seemed to light up as he approached the gathering, Eve’s, in fact, turning into saucers.

‘So, where’s the birthday girl?’ He seemed unaware of the effect he was having. He was holding a gift, wrapped up in Peppa Pig paper.

Maisy heard him, turned in her tracks, and ran to him gleefully. ‘Tom!’

‘Hey, I heard it was someone’s birthday today.’

Her eyes lit up as Tom handed her the present. She couldn’t wait to open it and promptly sat down on the driveway to tear the paper off. It was a bracelet-making set along with a storybook, some acrylic paints and coloured card with lots of glitter and sticky shapes to decorate it with.

‘Thank you, Tom, thank you!’ she squealed.

Rachel was proud her daughter had remembered her manners. The little girl gave him a quick hug and then ran off to be with her friends who were enjoying the bouncy castle and slide.

‘Survived?’ Tom asked Rachel, with an understanding smile.

‘Just,’ she replied. ‘Do you fancy a tea or anything? There’s birthday cake coming shortly too.’

‘Well, now you’ve got me.’ He gave a grin.

‘Hi, Tom.’ Eve came across rather coyly, and Rachel left the two of them chatting whilst she went to fetch Tom a mug of tea and organise the candle-lighting for the birthday cake.

‘Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!’ they all chorused.

The unicorn cake was met with delight, and Maisy’s face was a picture – she actually couldn’t speak. Rachel felt a happy tear crowd her eye.

It was time to blow out the candles. Maisy scrunched up her face and made a silent wish. Rachel had a feeling she might well be wishing for a daddy – one that came to birthday parties. She felt a lump form in her throat for her little girl, and for the little girl inside herself too, still yearning for her own daddy to come back home, even though the adult in her knew that that was never going to happen.

Jill sliced the cake up into rectangles of moist sponge, jam and icing. They ate it from napkins out in the sunshine, then the adults watched the children play once more. The early April day was warm and pleasant. The sky ultramarine with wisps of puffy white cloud. The fields, hills and countryside where their sheep and cattle grazed, were spring-green and bursting into life all around them.

After eating a slice of cake and a sausage roll, Tom stood to say his goodbyes to the group. He then came across to Rachel. ‘I’d better be heading back.’

‘Well, thanks so much for taking the time to come across. I know Maisy loved seeing you.’

‘It’s no problem. She’s a great kid. And hey, you’ve done a brilliant job here, Rachel. The barn, everything. She’ll have had a real special day.’ His hand rested on her shoulder for a brief second. It felt reassuring, warm.

‘Thanks.’

Tom then set off back to work at the farm next door. It was so nice that he’d made the effort to call. And, Rachel smiled to herself, it had certainly cheered up Eve’s day by the soppy look on her face.

The party was wrapping up for another year, and after a flurry of farewells, a few tired tears, happy hugs and party bags distributed, it was finally time for home. Quiet – phew.

Back at the house, Maisy crashed out on the old armchair by the Aga – Granny Ruth’s favourite seat. It had most likely been there when she and her husband, Grandad Ken, had lived in the farmhouse themselves with Rachel’s dad growing up as a little boy. There were so many memories over the generations in this farm, and there was a sense of history and comfort from that. Rachel placed a cosy blanket over Maisy, giving her tired daughter a kiss on her forehead, and set about doing the last of the washing-up in the kitchen.

Jill arrived back from dropping off Granny Ruth, and Rachel poured out two glasses of left-over fizz as they collapsed at the kitchen table, with Maisy now sound asleep in the chair. A wave of fatigue hit Rachel.

‘Well, I’d say that was a success,’ pronounced Jill.

‘Yes.’ Rachel stifled a yawn. ‘Thanks Mum, for all your help. I couldn’t have pulled that off without you. All the food was just brilliant, and the second round of Sleeping Lions out in the garden was a triumph.’ In fact, two of the children had actually gone off to sleep.

‘The old games are the best.’ Jill winked.

Rachel glanced over to check that Maisy was still sleeping, before lowering her voice. ‘Mum, I’m a bit worried about Maisy, lately.’

‘Oh … why’s that, pet?’

‘She’s been asking about her dad, and why he’s not around. I think the other kids at school have been asking questions and teasing her.’

‘Oh dear … bless her.’ Jill sighed. ‘It’s a tricky one, isn’t it. I don’t suppose you heard a thing back from him about her birthday, either?’

‘Now then … what do you think?’ Rachel asked, ironically.

‘Well, we can only be honest with her, Rachel. Be there to field her questions. She’s growing up, she’s bound to be curious.’

‘Yes … I think she’s missing him. Well, missing a father figure anyway. Especially with Dad …’ Rachel couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

‘Yes, I know, I know, love. We’ve just got to be strong for her. Be her mum, dad, grandparents … everything. Families come in all shapes and sizes, especially these days.’