Uptown Girl

‘Max,’ Bina said, struggling with her tears. ‘He heard me crying in the hall and told me where you were.’ She took a gulping breath and burst into tears again. Elliot and Brice drew closer to the couch, like rubberneckers, while Michael had withdrawn to a spot behind the dining table. Kate couldn’t help but think that she was watching the epitomes of men: the straight ones retreating in the face of emotional turmoil and the gay ones jumping right in.

She looked back down at her friend. ‘Bina, what’s happened?’ Kate asked again.

‘Choked,’ Bina wailed as fresh tears poured from her eyes.

‘Are you choking?’ Kate asked, confused.

‘I can do the Heimlich. Does she need the Heimlich?’ Brice asked, a bit too hopefully.

Bina, still sobbing, violently shook her head no.

‘I never get to do the Heimlich,’ Brice sighed. ‘Do you?’ he asked, turning to Michael, who was now folding and unfolding a napkin, obviously completely unnerved by the situation.

It was unnerving to anyone who didn’t know Bina, but Kate had witnessed many a hysterical outburst like this before, once over the dress Bina’s mother had selected for the prom. Now Kate took Bina’s hands in her own and spoke to her firmly but gently. ‘Who choked? Who’s choking, Bina?’ She turned to Elliot. ‘Would you please get her a glass of water?’

Elliot, turning to Brice, repeated the request. ‘Brice, get her a glass of water. This is better than One Life to Live.’

Brice didn’t budge. ‘One Life to Live? This is better than The Young and the Restless.’ He turned to Michael, still in the corner behind the table. ‘Put down the linen,’ Brice told him. ‘You get the water.’

Michael seemed all too happy to leave the scene and disappeared into the kitchen. Bina gave another wail.

‘Bina, you have to calm down,’ Kate said, turning her attention back to her. ‘You have to. And you have to tell us what’s wrong.’ Bina took some trembling breaths and got the sobbing under control. It occurred to Kate that Bina might have had an accident or be sick. ‘Does something hurt?’ she asked.

Bina nodded her head.

‘Do you need a doctor?’ Kate continued.

Bina nodded more vigorously. ‘Yes. Jewish and unmarried. The kind who likes my type and who’s looking for serious commitment.’ She broke out into sobs again.

Elliot and Brice moved even closer to the circle. ‘Uh oh,’ Elliot said. ‘Kate, check out her hand.’ He and Brice exchanged meaningful looks.

Kate, not quite understanding, thought of their manicure that afternoon. Had Bina had some allergic reaction? ‘Bina, have you hurt your hands?’ She looked down at Bina’s hands but didn’t see anything more alarming than the French manicure.

‘Not her right hand, Kate,’ said Brice. ‘Her left hand. Second finger from the pinkie.’

Kate finally understood. She wrapped her arms around Bina and said, ‘Oh, my God. Jack …’

‘… Jack choked,’ Bina told her. ‘He had the ring in his breast pocket. I could see the bulge the box made.’ She began to cry again. ‘Oh, Katie! Instead of asking me to marry him, he asked if we could spend this time apart … exploring our singleness.’

‘That son-of-a-bitch!’ Kate, who thought that she understood enough about people and their motivations to no longer be surprised, was shocked. While Jack had finished school and entered corporate life, Bina had waited, worked and collected every issue of Bride. She watched as all her other friends became engaged, she’d relentlessly thrown shower after bridal shower, a virtual pre-connubial fountain. And now, when at last it was her turn, Jack had choked? Bina didn’t deserve this. ‘That goddamn son-of-a-bitch!’ Kate was ready to spit.

She looked up to see that Michael had returned from the kitchen just in time to hear her undeleted expletives and recoil at the outburst. Lucky that she hadn’t called Jack a motherfucker, she thought, as she watched him approach the sofa and gingerly hold out the glass of water to Bina. Bina ignored the gift.

‘I can’t believe it!’ Bina said, wiping ineffectually at her face and only making the raccoon eyes worse. ‘He got the ring from Barbie’s father. Mr Leventhal gave him a break. It was princess cut, Barbie said – just under a karat and a half.’ She paused for breath while Michael gaped and Elliot and Brice shook their heads in sympathy – and almost in unison.

‘Everyone will know,’ Bina said, and began sobbing again. ‘I can’t believe he’d do this to me. Just drop me. And shame me in front of everyone.’

Kate took the napkin from Michael’s hand, dipped it into the water and held it up to her friend’s face. ‘Bina, honey,’ she said with all the assurance she could muster. ‘You’ve been going out with Jack for six years. He loves you.’ She wiped mascara from under Bina’s eyes. ‘Blow your nose,’ she said, and Bina did. ‘Look, this is just a temporary thing. Sometimes it happens. Picking a life mate is a serious decision. It isn’t that Jack doesn’t want to marry you. It’s a lot more probable that he just got frightened. I’m sure he’ll call you tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow he’ll be in Hong Kong. With my ring! I’ll be dumped in Bensonhurst and he’ll be the Christopher Columbus of singleness,’ cried Bina, who had a penchant for wildly inappropriate metaphor when under pressure.

‘Maybe you should drink the water,’ Michael said awkwardly, and pressed the glass into her hand.

Bina looked down at the glass. ‘Is there strychnine in it?’ she asked without lifting her eyes.

‘Uh … no,’ Michael replied.

In a single smooth motion Bina dumped the water out over her shoulder and down the back of the sofa. ‘Then what good is it to me?’ she said to no one in particular. She fell back onto the sofa and burst into a fresh batch of tears.

‘That was a gesture,’ Elliot said, grabbing a napkin.

‘On Fortuny fabric,’ Brice added. ‘This is so Brooklyn.’

‘I knew I’d love Brooklyn,’ Elliot said.

Kate looked up over Bina’s head at the two of them and gave them a warning squint, her blue eyes narrowed to lizard slits. She wondered if she could get the girl home to her own apartment and calm her and put her to bed there, but either getting a cab or walking back with Michael seemed impossible. Better to deal with it here and then go home. But first she needed to free the frightened Michael and stare off the spectating twosome, though, to be fair, it was their own home. ‘I’m sorry, guys,’ Kate started, looking up at the three men. ‘It looks like we might have to put off dessert.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Brice said. ‘In times of pain nothing works better than drowning your problems in profiteroles.’

Elliot nodded, but Michael began backing toward the door. ‘I think you’re right, Kate,’ he agreed, relief shining from every pore. ‘I’ll just see myself out,’ he added, picking up his briefcase and heading out of the door into the foyer. ‘Have a nice evening,’ he said as he closed the door behind him.

Kate jumped up. ‘Just a minute, Bina,’ she said, giving another narrow-eyed glance at the guys as a deterrent, and ran to the hallway. She was just in time to see Michael step into the elevator. ‘Hold it!’ she called, got to the button and pressed it. Michael stood in the fake mahogany cab like an insect suspended in amber. ‘You’re leaving like that?’ she demanded.

‘Like what?’ he asked, looking down at himself as if it was an unzipped fly she was commenting on.

‘My friend just had her life shattered and you go out the door saying, “Have a nice evening”?’ Kate had learned not to expect too much of a date in the early stages of their mating dance, but Michael was way out of tempo. ‘Have a nice evening?’ she repeated, mirroring him.

‘Kate,’ Michael began. ‘Bina is your friend, not mine. I don’t really think it’s my place …’

‘… To be what? Nice, kind, caring? Can’t you just pretend to be sensitive?’ Kate realized she was holding him hostage and took her finger off the button. The door closed slowly across his miserable face. Kate turned away, hoping he would press the door-open button and return, at least to give her a kiss and a moment of sympathy, but the elevator door remained as smoothly closed as Michael’s emotions had been. She shook her head to clear it. She had to return to Bina.

She entered the apartment and found to her surprise that Bina had stopped crying. She was sitting up on the sofa beside Elliot, who was holding her hand and sharing his own heartbreaks. ‘… And then he said, “I’m going back to my place to get my things and move in.” I was thrilled, just thrilled, so I said, “Can I come and help” and he kissed me and said, “No, sweetie. It won’t take but a few hours,” and I never saw or heard from him again.’

Bina shook her head in mute sympathy.

‘Just as well,’ Brice said. ‘Street trash. It’s all worked out for the best.’ He kissed the top of Elliot’s head. Kate saw Bina blink.

‘Well, let me bring out the profiteroles and actually nuke the chocolate sauce,’ Brice said and headed for the kitchen.

‘Meanwhile I’ll get a blanket,’ Elliot offered and disappeared into the bedroom. Bina nodded gratefully to Kate.

Kate, with nothing else left to do, sat beside her. ‘I’m sorry,’ Kate said, comforting her friend now they were alone. ‘You must be devastated.’

‘Oh, Katie, how could he do this? Who does he think he is? The Magellan of certified public accountants?’ Bina asked. ‘How could he?’

Kate looked into her imploring eyes. But she had no easy answers. ‘Even if he leaves for Hong Kong he’ll have that long flight alone, he’ll miss you, he’ll remember the good times and how much he loves you …’ Kate paused, hoping that all she conjectured was true. She wanted to comfort Bina but not lie to her. If an eight-year-old like Brian had to face the reality of the death of his mother, Kate believed it would be best for Bina to face the death of her relationship with Jack, if that was what it was. But she was sure it couldn’t have suffered a mortal wound. Bina was lovable and Jack, slow-moving as he was, had always seemed to adore her. ‘I’m sure he’ll call. Even if he leaves for Hong Kong I bet he sends you a ticket to join him and proposes there,’ Kate ventured hopefully.

‘Men are just funny …’

‘Not homosexual ones,’ Elliot said as he walked back into the room carrying a knitted afghan throw. ‘We’re fucking hysterical.’ He knelt down beside Bina and wrapped her up in it. Brice came out of the kitchen carrying a full tray which he put down gracefully on the coffee table. Arrayed before them were four dessert plates, the plate of profiteroles, a silver server of piping-hot dark chocolate sauce, lace-trimmed napkins, a crystal shot glass and a frosted bottle of Finlandia. ‘All for you,’ Brice said.

Bina looked at the tray. ‘I’d love some dessert but I don’t drink,’ she told him.

‘You do tonight, honey,’ Brice said and poured her a shot. ‘Chocolate and alcohol together beat shit out of Prozac.’

Bina looked at him, at the brimming shot glass, and, to Kate’s utter surprise, took it from him and knocked it back.

‘Good girl!’ Elliot said.

‘And here’s your chaser,’ Brice added and handed Bina the pastries. ‘You know what they say: just a spoonful of sugar …’

Bina picked up the plate to dig in.

‘Wait just a minute,’ Brice said. ‘The doctor is in.’ He picked up the silver pitcher, raised it theatrically and poured out the bitter chocolate over the ice cream pastry.

Kate looked at the three of them entranced, not sure if she was experiencing pleasure or discomfort. Her two worlds had merged here on the Fortuny-upholstered sofa and all one could have said was that it seemed quiet on the western front. Then Brice filled the shot glass again and handed it to Bina who, docile as a kosher lamb, drank it down. That broke Kate’s trance. ‘Guys, this is more serious than something a drink and an overdose of carbohydrates will cure,’ she told them.

‘Honey, there’s nothing that will cure this. But alcohol and sugar will temporarily dull the pain,’ Brice replied. ‘Trust me. I know.’

Bina, back at her dessert, looked up from her plate with a dazed expression on her face. Elliot wiped the chocolate from around her mouth with the lace napkin.

‘Who are these guys, Katie?’ Bina asked, looking at Elliot and Brice with some confusion. ‘Are they therapists, too? They’re very good.’

‘No, dear. This is my friend Elliot, who works with me at school, and his partner Brice,’ Kate told her. Bina smiled, but it was obvious that Kate’s words were merely washing over her. She suddenly realized just how drunk Bina was.

‘Why am I here?’ Bina asked. ‘And why are they roommates?’ She slurred her words, and only God knew how slurred her mind was. Again Kate wished that she hadn’t mixed Brooklyn with Manhattan. They were parallel universes, and, like parallel lines, should never ever touch.

Despite her concern, Kate was just slightly amused watching surprise mixed with curiosity and a soupçon of horror cross Bina’s face as she looked from Elliot to Brice and back. Her amusement dissolved, however, as Bina opened her mouth. ‘Oh, so you’re the …’ she started, and Kate winced, afraid of what word she might hear next.

‘… the mathematical one,’ Elliot finished for her.

‘And I’m the emotional one,’ Brice said with an exaggerated sigh. ‘Somebody’s got to do it.’

Kate had to get Bina home and onto her own couch before it became necessary to carry her. She knew once Bina was forced to stay here, Brice and Elliot would dig themselves in deeper. They were kind, but they couldn’t help Bina now and Kate knew she had a big job to do. ‘I know the floor show traditionally precedes dinner, but I did the best I could without hiring tap dancers,’ she said.

‘Ooooh, I love tap dancers,’ Brice crooned and Elliot gave him a look. It didn’t stop Brice from pouring out the next drink for Bina.

‘Put that down,’ Kate said, her voice as stern as the one she had to use in the Andrew Country Day School cafeteria. Here, just like there, it worked. ‘I’m taking Bina home,’ Kate said.

‘Nooooo. I can’t go home. I can never go home again,’ Bina said. ‘Not until I’m engaged anyway.’

‘You’re coming to my apartment,’ Kate said. ‘It isn’t far and you could use the fresh air.’

‘She’s welcome to stay here,’ Elliot offered, and Kate knew his kindness was mixed with an equal part of curiosity.

‘Show’s over,’ Kate said. ‘Say good night, Gracie.’ She pulled the dazed Bina up from the couch and began to walk her to the door.

‘Good night, Gracie,’ Elliot and Brice chorused.

8

Later, Kate could not remember much about the nightmare of getting Bina back to her place that night. It was called ‘selective memory’ in her textbooks – some things were just too gruesome to keep in your consciousness. In the four long blocks from Elliot’s to Kate’s own apartment, Bina alternately wept, sang, tripped, wailed, and sat down at one point on the sidewalk, refusing to move. Kate didn’t think Bina had tried to throw herself in front of a bus or wet herself but she couldn’t be absolutely sure of either. It was lucky that Max had been home and heard her trying to get Bina up the stairs. Asking no questions, he took over. Kate didn’t remember if he carried Bina up the stairs in his arms or over his shoulder. She did remember holding Bina’s head as she vomited violently, and washing her up. Max had left her to that thankless task. Kate made an executive decision not to put Bina in her bedroom but instead to tuck her up on the sofa. Made in haste, it was a decision that Kate would not regret.

The next morning Kate was up early brewing coffee, laying out the Tylenol, and waiting to call in sick to work. One look at the bedraggled, unconscious Bina gave Kate a pretty good idea of how she was going to spend her next twenty-four hours. She took down her favorite coffee mug. It was the only gift she could remember her father giving her. A molded, ceramic one, the handle was shaped like Cinderella bending over the top of the mug and looking into whatever liquid would be put there, as if it were a wishing well. Then she added another, plain cup to wait until Bina woke. She thought of calling Mrs Horowitz or even trying Jack before he left, then thought better of it. Kate didn’t mind being involved, but she didn’t want to become the puppeteer pulling strings. Bina – despite her many childlike qualities – would have to decide on her own what actions to take and Kate would support her as best she could. She retied her cotton bathrobe tighter around her waist. The radio alarm, when it went off in her bedroom, hadn’t made a ripple on the dark pool of Bina’s unconsciousness, but it had informed Kate that the day was going to be a scorcher for April.

When the phone rang Kate glanced at the caller ID, picked up the receiver and without preamble said, ‘Yes, she’s still sleeping. No, I’m not going into school today and no, you can’t come over.’

‘Good morning to you, too,’ Elliot’s voice said briskly. ‘Can I at least drop off a couple of bagels on my way up to Andrew?’

‘Forget it. I don’t think Bina is going to want to eat anything, and if she does I have plenty of Saltines.’ Kate poured the hot coffee into her Cinderella mug. She was careful, as always, to avoid the little blond head peeking over the rim.

‘God, Brice and I feel so bad for her.’

‘At least you’re not feeling as bad as her … I mean, she is. Bina doesn’t have the genetics to handle a hangover,’ Kate told him. ‘You shouldn’t have let Brice pour all that booze down her throat.’

‘Well, he’s not apologizing for getting her drunk and I think it was the best thing for her …’ Elliot began.

‘Well, it wasn’t the best thing for me,’ Kate interrupted, peeking at Bina. It wasn’t a pretty picture. ‘I’ve had quite a mess – literally and figuratively – to clean up.’

‘Oh, the poor girl,’ Elliot said, his sympathy real. ‘How can I help?’

‘Short of teaching Michael to deal with human feelings and finding Jack and slapping some sense into him, I don’t think there’s much you can do,’ Kate said.

‘Yeah, I told you Michael was a dud. What went on between you two in the hall? I’ll bet he got a pounding.’

Kate thought of Michael’s face before the elevator door closed and chose to change the subject. She spilled some coffee as she moved her mug to the counter beside the refrigerator. ‘I don’t think there’s much anyone can do, but I’m taking a sick day.’

‘Maybe you should call it a mental health day,’ Elliot said. ‘Except this one isn’t about your mental health.’

‘Don’t worry, it will be mine soon enough,’ Kate predicted and poured some milk into her coffee. She preferred half-and-half, but she hated skim so she had compromised on regular milk. The coffee took on the exact shade that Bina’s skin used to tan to back on the beach when they were kids. Kate had always envied that beautiful color, but now her friend’s complexion had a distinct green tinge. Kate just hoped she didn’t wake up and throw up again. She liked her rug. ‘I’ve got to go,’ she told Elliot.

‘Do you want me to take the day off, too? The kids have standardized testing most of the day. I can keep you company and help with Bina.’

‘Forget it,’ Kate told him. ‘I know you’re just afraid you’re going to get my cafeteria duty,’ she joked. ‘Anyway, you had your first and last dose of the Bitches of Bushwick. It ought to be enough Brooklyn to last a lifetime.’ Before he could protest, she added, ‘I have to go. She’s waking up.’

‘I’ll call you later,’ she heard him say as she put the phone down.

She quickly poured a glass of club soda – her favorite remedy for the dehydration of a hangover – and walked from her kitchenette into the living room with her mug in one hand and the glass in the other. Bina groaned, put a hand to her forehead and then opened her eyes, which she closed again quickly. ‘Ohmigod,’ she said and Kate wasn’t sure if it was a reaction to the light or a remembrance of things past. She groaned again.

‘It’s okay, Bina, drink this.’ Kate held the glass in front of her friend and Bina squinted at it.

‘What is it?’ she croaked.

‘Well, it’s not vodka,’ Kate told her. ‘Come on, sit up and take your medicine.’

Bina did as she was told, took the glass, drank three or four big gulps and then began to choke. She put the glass down on Kate’s coffee table and Kate moved it onto a coaster before she went to Bina’s side.

‘Ohmigod,’ Bina repeated. And Kate knew that this time she had remembered Jack and the night before. Bina looked up at her. ‘Oh, Kate. What am I going to do?’

Kate sat down in the wicker chair and reached out and took her friend’s hand in her own. ‘Bina,’ she said, ‘what happened last night?’

‘You were right about the French manicure,’ Bina said. She shook her head and Kate could see the physical pain register on her face.

Kate went back to the kitchen and brought her three Tylenol and a couple of vitamin Cs. ‘Here,’ she said, thrusting them into Bina’s hand. ‘Take these. You’ll feel better.’ She left Bina again and returned to the kitchen where she took out her emergency stash of Saltines. Bina had just downed the last pill when Kate returned. She didn’t want them all to lie there in an empty stomach so she handed Bina a Saltine. ‘Eat it,’ she said.

‘Oh, please,’ Bina responded in a world-weary voice.

‘Eat it,’ Kate commanded, ‘and now tell me what happened last night.’ She watched as Bina made an entire meal of the Saltine taking many tiny bites and washing them down with the club soda. The moment she was finished, Kate handed her another Saltine and refilled her glass. ‘Good girl,’ she said. ‘So what happened?’

Bina lay back among the cushions and put a hand across her forehead. This time the tears were silent ones. Kate rose, went to her bedroom, and came back with a box of tissues. Wordlessly, she handed one to Bina who mopped at her eyes and began to talk in an unsteady voice. ‘You know that I was meeting him at Nobu and I was excited because it’s one of the kinds of places you go to.’ Kate almost smiled. Nobu was one of the most expensive, stylish, Asian restaurants in the city and Kate couldn’t afford to eat there even on her birthday. Sometimes Kate wondered about Bina’s vision of Kate’s reality, but she didn’t have the time to do that now. ‘Anyway, the place was beautiful and when I walked past the bar I could see that all the women looked better than I did. I don’t know why, because their clothes weren’t as good as mine – at least they didn’t look as good, but somehow they looked better, if you know what I mean.’ Kate just nodded. ‘Anyway, when I got to the dining room the hostess wasn’t there. I looked around, kind of self-conscious, then I thought I saw her. She had her back to me and was talking to some guy at a table and she was holding his hand up and laughing. When he laughed back, I realized it was Jack. I nearly plotzed.’

Kate had a vision of Bina going into hysterics and throwing a scene in the middle of the Zen of Nobu. God, she thought, that would end a romantic evening quickly. Bina did tend to overreact. ‘So did you …’

‘For a minute I didn’t do anything,’ Bina said. ‘I couldn’t believe it. Then I walked over to the table and …’

The phone rang and Kate looked at the caller ID. ‘It’s your mom,’ Kate said.

‘Don’t pick up,’ Bina nearly screeched.

Kate let the phone ring until the answering machine kicked in. Mrs Horowitz’s concerned voice came on and Kate turned the volume down. ‘You will have to tell her what happened. After you tell me, of course,’ Kate said. ‘And she must be concerned. Where does she think you are? Did she know about your plans last night?’

Bina covered her eyes again. ‘I can’t talk to her now,’ she said. ‘And I didn’t tell her anything because she would have nudged me to death. But I’m sure she knew about the ring and she knows Jack is leaving …’ Bina stopped for a moment and began to wail. It was a high-pitched keen of misery. ‘He’s leaving tonight. Ohmigod, he’s leaving tonight.’

Kate crouched at the edge of the sofa and took Bina in her arms. She felt Bina tremble against her, shaking with every sobbing breath. ‘Bina, you have to calm down and tell me what happened. We probably can fix this.’