Mums Just Wanna Have Fun

She threw the bathroom door shut and leaned onto the sink, looking at her face in the mirror. Her perfect hair was still in place and her outfit today screamed Milan catwalk, but inside she was broken.

She took a tissue and dabbed at the corners of her eyes where tears were threatening to spill over. ‘Damn emotions!’ she sniffed. ‘This is why I like business meetings – no fucking emotion involved. Just get the job done and get out. None of this stupid crying malarkey. I mean what is that about?’ She paused and looked at herself in the mirror again. ‘And this is why you’re single, Hari – you need to stop talking to yourself!’

She sat on the closed toilet seat and shut her eyes, taking a few deep breaths as her racing heartbeat slowed to a steady pulse. It wasn’t even that mean a comment from Nancy, Harriet had had worse said to her. The fact that she overreacted to this conversation didn’t go unmissed by her. But she was already feeling exposed about the situation and whilst most of the time she pushed all the thoughts and feelings associated with her ex to the back of her mind, occasionally they seeped out and consumed her. It wasn’t enough that she felt stressed and inadequate as a mum, she also missed Andy. A lot. She’d been devastated when he’d left but she’d masked her true upset. Now it was too late to reconcile with him as he had moved on and had nothing to do with Harriet or the children. That alone told her he wasn’t worth it – it didn’t stop her missing him though. Missing the times they’d had. Before the children and prior to Harriet starting up her own company, the two of them had had lots of fun together. They just weren’t strong enough to grow into adulthood together. And as for the friends, well, who needed loads of friends anyway? She had Nancy and the people at work, and they all understood. It stung when she stopped getting invited out to things, but she soon learned to get over it and concentrate on what really mattered. It was much easier to throw herself into work than to address why people didn’t want to be around her anymore. She didn’t like the person she had become – she didn’t need others telling her they felt the same too.

She shook her head and straightened up. Hissy fit over, she had some emails to send.

Chapter 12

‘Listen, I’m sorry about earlier. I was out of order and I shouldn’t have said what I did.’ Harriet waved off Nancy’s comment. ‘I didn’t mean it, you know, I just hate seeing you so worked to the bone – I don’t want you to burn out, that’s all.’

‘It’s fine, I shouldn’t have shouted at you. Just a bit stressed that’s all.’ The response was clipped, it clearly wasn’t OK.

Nancy speared a potato onto her fork ignoring the finality in Harriet’s voice. She couldn’t have things strained between them whilst they were away. ‘But that’s what I mean; you’ve been stressed for the last four years – when do you give yourself a break?’

‘A company doesn’t get off its feet if the owners want to take a break every five minutes. You get out what you put in.’ Harriet didn’t take her eyes off her plate, making herself look far too busy with cutting up her food. It was obvious she was doing it as a distraction.

‘Yes, true, but when the owner is sending emails from her hospital bed after having just had a baby, there’s got to be a line drawn, surely?’ Nancy remembered the day she visited Harriet after she’d had Tommy and was shocked to see her have a complete work desk set up in the hospital. Laptop out, phone next to it and a coffee on the side as Tommy slept in the cot next to her. The nurses must’ve thought she was crazy, Nancy sure had. ‘You were like a woman possessed; tapping away on emails with one hand, your phone going between your ear and your shoulder and I’m pretty sure you had a conference call at one point over the course of that day too. I mean, that’s just crazy. You have to learn when to stop and breathe.’

‘Are we really going to do this at dinner or can we enjoy it? I’m not working right now, am I? Yet you seem set on talking about work!’

Nancy was taken back by her abruptness. ‘I’m not having a go—’

‘Could’ve fooled me.’ Hari snapped back.

‘Hey! I’m just saying this because I care. Why don’t you take a step back for a second? You have employees working on stuff, you said yourself that things are quieter at the moment before your next big contract comes in – I don’t understand why you have to be going at 100 miles per hour every second of every day. It makes me tired just watching you.’ Nancy laughed to try and lighten the mood.

‘Can we just change the subject please?’

Nancy shrugged and continued eating her dinner. She certainly hadn’t planned to come away on holiday and row. It was supposed to be fun. Harriet was overreacting but there was no point in trying to talk about work with her whilst she was still in a mood. It was definitely something that Nancy was not going to give up on though. Harriet kept saying how Nancy had had a tough year and needed a break – the truth could be said about her too. She was just too bloody stubborn to admit it. But this was a conversation for another time, maybe after a few cocktails. ‘So what’s the plan for tomorrow?’

‘Waterpark!’ Isla shouted and banged on the table.

Tommy saw his sister do it and started repeatedly banging on the table in response. Isla giggled and joined in, chanting waterpark, waterpark, waterpark.

Jack clutched at his ears – Nancy had managed to pry his iPad and headphones away from him so he would eat something.

‘OK, OK, that’s enough you two. Look, you’re upsetting Jack.’ Harriet pointed to Jack and Isla looked over.

‘Sorry Jack,’ Isla said, and looked guiltily at Nancy.

‘It’s OK, sweetheart, he’s fine.’ Nancy hated it when other children’s fun was cut short because it upset Jack. He didn’t like loud noises, new people, being touched … the list of triggers was only growing, and she was becoming more and more aware of how difficult life was for him.

‘I’m up for the waterpark if you are Nancy?’

Nancy looked at Jack. He was never going to like it, but why should the others suffer because he didn’t want to go? Maybe he would try it – although she didn’t hold out much hope. ‘Jack?’ she said, placing a hand on his forearm gently so he knew she was talking to him. He looked at her with his big blue eyes. ‘Shall we go to the waterpark tomorrow? It will have slides and a swimming pool and it will be lots of fun.’

Already he was shaking his head.

‘Come on, just give it a try?’

‘I don’t like water.’

‘You don’t have to go in – just dangle your feet like you did earlier today in the swimming pool?’

‘When the boy came to talk to me.’ It was a statement rather than a question and Nancy felt a small bolt of elation as she realised he had probably taken more notice of Aiden when he came over earlier than he let on.

‘That’s right. That little boy was called Aiden. He wanted to be your friend.’

‘I don’t like friends.’

‘Of course you do – everyone likes to have friends.’

‘Not me.’ He picked up a piece of plain pasta and put it into his mouth.

‘Why not?’ Nancy pressed. She always tried to push conversations with him when he was in a talkative mood. She had no idea why he was so chatty tonight but she kept going, afraid that if she stopped, he would too.

He shrugged.

‘Because it’s OK to speak to new people. That’s how we make friends.’

‘But I don’t know who they are.’

‘That’s how we make friends, we get to know them. We can ask questions about what they like, and they ask us questions and—’

‘I don’t like questions.’

Nancy suppressed a groan. She hated it when he disliked everything she said, but she was adamant about keeping her happy face on – if he saw she was frustrated then he would just close off and she needed him to keep opening up or he would never make any progress.

‘But Mummy and I ask you questions and you answer us,’ Harriet said, decanting some more of her dinner onto Tommy’s plate.

‘But I know you.’

‘So you only like questions from people you know – not people you don’t know?’ Nancy asked, and Jack nodded. ‘I see.’ It was a small revelation for Nancy, but it felt like she’d got to know her son that little bit more just now and a spark of happiness sizzled through her body. He may be being difficult about the waterpark, but he was trying his best and that was all she could ask for. She would have to come up with a different idea. ‘If you guys want to go to the waterpark, Jack and I could do something else.’

‘We’re supposed to be doing stuff together though – we don’t have to go,’ Harriet suggested reassuringly. Isla was not impressed by this and began wailing at her mum. ‘Alright, alright, let’s see what time it opens and maybe we can go for a little while. What’s it called?’ Nancy shrugged. ‘Do we even know if there is a waterpark around here?’ Harriet frowned.

‘Yeah, that Cameron said he was going to one.’

‘Oh he did, did he?’ Harriet swooned. ‘Well, maybe we should find him and ask.

‘Trickles Waterpark.’ Jack said, not looking up from his iPad.

‘What’s that darling?’ Nancy asked.

‘That’s what it’s called – Trickles Waterpark. It is approximately 63000 square feet and has a zero entry pool, lazy river, lap pool, diving well, slide tower and tipping bucket play structure.’

Nancy stared at him, her mouth gaping.

‘It takes 1.2 million gallons to fill initially with a daily top off of 3871 gallons giving it a consumption ratio of 0.32 per cent.’ He looked up at Nancy. ‘How cool does that sound?’ His little face was beaming, he was in his element. Statistics, information and structures – he loved it.

‘Wow, Jack, you’re like a fountain of information about the waterpark.’ Harriet laughed and poured some wine.

‘Mum, it says here that the water park is open approximately 100 days per season with an average attendance of 1650 per day – that’s a lot of people.’

‘It is a lot of people,’ she agreed, unsure of how to play this conversation.

‘But actually, if it is 63,000 square metres, it might not be very crowded. People might not bump into me.’ He was talking to himself more than anyone else. He then gasped. ‘Mum, look.’ He showed her the tablet and it was a picture of the waterpark as a whole. It looked incredible. Splashes of vibrant colours snaked over the screen as the slides and water chutes intertwined. Some high, some low. Rainbow tunnels, various shaped pools, log flume and a beach scene. It looked like a child’s dream. She looked at Jack.

‘Wow, sweetie, isn’t it great?’ she tested.

‘Mum, look at the shape that one makes. It’s got right angles and obtuse. That one there looks about 110 degrees.’ He looked up. ‘I want to go.’

‘Really?’ She almost gasped the word.

‘Yeah, but I don’t want to go in the water, I just want to see the shapes.’

‘That’s fine sweetheart.’ Nancy looked to Harriet and raised her eyebrows as Jack resumed his research. She was starting to realise that with Jack, it was all about how you approached things.

Chapter 13

The waterpark was a hub of noise, colour and water everywhere. All the things Jack usually hated. Instantly Nancy regretted bringing him here as he hung off her arm, hands grasping onto her as a safety blanket. But she hadn’t forced him; he had told her he wanted to come, she reassured herself. She had tried her best this morning to prepare him for the type of establishment this was. But there was only so much she could say because she didn’t want to frighten him unnecessarily or make him feel worried. They had looked through his Calm Cards, at the building ones and he had spoken about what shapes and styles of structure he might see here today – but nothing could prepare him for the real thing.

‘Mum, too noisy,’ he squeaked. She could see he was trying really hard, but it was a little too much for his ears.

She pulled the headphones out of her bag and placed them over his ears. ‘Better?’ She gave him a thumbs up as she asked and he nodded.

‘Best purchase you’ve ever made, those, hey?’ Harriet asked, nodding at the green headphones.

Last night Harriet had apologised for being snappy with Nancy and the pair had agreed to let it go over a few pina coladas. Nancy still wanted to approach the work issue with Hari but only when things were relaxed again, she wasn’t pushing it. They still had a few more days to get through yet so she didn’t want to cause any friction. ‘Tell me about it. These ones are great; they’re like those ear defenders. I think he likes the feel of the pressure on his ears.’

‘Absolute godsend. Bless him. Isla! Careful honey, we aren’t ready to go in yet. Let’s find somewhere to put our stuff first.’

Nancy scanned the vicinity, looking for somewhere for her and Jack to sit whilst the others explored the waterpark. The sunshine was beating down brightly over the pool and today was incredibly hot. Nancy loved the heat, but she knew Jack wasn’t happy when he got too hot so she had to make sure she had lots of ideas in place to keep him cool. Firstly, she needed to find somewhere with some shade so he wasn’t in direct sunlight. As she looked, she came across an area which had a group of loungers and a small pool just for paddling. ‘Hari look, perfect! Jack can dangle his legs in there.’

‘Quick, grab it before someone else does.’

‘I’m not running,’ Nancy said, but it was too late, Harriet had bounced off, sprinting towards the loungers, her long legs stretching as her bright red kimono flapped around her hips.

A whistle sounded and Nancy glanced at the lifeguard who was staring at Harriet who had also turned round. He didn’t look happy and was standing up, pointing at Harriet. ‘No running!’ he called at her and Nancy burst out laughing.

‘Haha, Mummy just got told off by the lifeguard’, Nancy said to Isla who was staring wide-eyed at her. ‘It’s OK, she’s not in trouble,’ she added, as she saw the worry in her eyes.

‘Sorry!’ Harriet shouted as she raised a hand and then casually – but quickly – walked to the spot she was trying to save.

When Nancy reached her friend, she laughed. ‘Did someone get their wrists slapped?’ She put down her bag and grabbed a lounger, kicking off her flip flops so she could feel the cold tiles beneath her toes.

‘Still got the seats though, didn’t I?’ Harriet retorted, adjusting her floppy cream hat which would look stupid on Nancy, but Harriet totally pulled off.