Wife For Real

‘Well, what are you waiting for, Katherine? They always say there’s no time like the present, so why don’t you get it over with right now and ask me if I’m willing to lend you fifty thousand pounds for Peter. Or are you waiting to catch me at the right moment?’

Jordan gave a soft laugh which made her skin prickle as she turned and saw him standing in the shadow of the trees. ‘Mmm, I’m almost tempted to find out exactly when that is.’

Katherine took a deep breath and tried to close her mind to the nuances she’d heard in his voice, but she could feel ripples of awareness spreading through her, as though he had touched one nerve and all the others were responding.

‘I...I didn’t know you were there,’ she said huskily.

‘No? Never mind; don’t let that deter you.’ He gave another of those disturbing laughs as he came and leant against the fence beside her. He was so close now that she could smell the musky aroma of the aftershave he wore, and she could feel the heat of his body flowing through the thin fabric of her jacket. Suddenly it was as though all her senses were heightened to an almost unbearable degree, so that when his shoulder brushed hers she jumped, and saw the amused look he gave her.

‘Nervous, Katherine? I don’t see why you should be. After all it isn’t the first time you’ve found yourself thrust in at the deep end to help a member of your family out of a sticky situation, is it?’

Katherine’s face flamed as she understood what he meant immediately. It had been the need to help her father out of even worse financial straits that had brought her and Jordan together—although if she’d had any idea of the repercussions she would never have gone through with it!

She turned to glare at him, her grey eyes stormy as they met his mocking blue ones. ‘No, it isn’t new to me, Jordan. However, that doesn’t mean I find it any easier second time around.’ She gave a harsh laugh. ‘In fact, bearing in mind what happened the last time I asked you for help, I must have been mad to let Peter talk me into asking you again!’

Jordan’s lids flickered but his smile never wavered. ‘You got what you wanted, Katherine. Your father has been able to live comfortably ever since. Are you really trying to claim that you would have preferred to see him being dragged through the courts and ending up with nothing more than his name at the end of it?

‘No! Of course I wouldn’t have wanted that to happen. You know very well what I mean, Jordan!’

‘Of course I do. How could I be in any doubt, Katherine?’ His brows rose, his eyes glittering as they centred on her angry face. ‘You have always been totally honest about your feelings towards me, haven’t you?’

Katherine looked away, wondering what there was in the depths of his eyes which made her feel as though she was standing on the edge of some vast precipice, and that one unwary step would send her plunging into its unknown depths. ‘I... don’t think either of us is under any illusion about how we feel. However, that has little bearing on this present situation.’

‘Hasn’t it?’ Jordan’s tone was openly sceptical, the mockery she heard in it making her heart beat even faster.

‘No.’ Katherine’s hands clenched as she turned and stared into the distance while she fought to keep all trace of emotion from her voice. ‘Will you lend Peter the money he needs? That’s all I want to know.’

‘I’m sure it is, but has it never occurred to you that every time you bail Peter out it just makes matters worse? He is old enough to stand on his own two feet, but he’ll never do that while you keep fighting his battles for him.’

Jordan’s tone was scornful, and Katherine reacted immediately to it despite her determination to remain detached. ‘That’s not fair! How on earth can Peter get himself out of this mess?’

‘Not as easily as he apparently got himself into it, Kitty.’

Jordan mocked her with the childhood name, yet it was a measure of how upset her brother had been that he should have used it tonight. The thought made her even angrier. Jordan considered himself so infallible that he couldn’t understand how anyone else could make a mistake!

‘Unfortunately, not everyone is as perfect as you, Jordan! But surely even you could see how upset Peter was? Is it too much to ask that you try to be a little more sympathetic?’

He smiled contemptuously. ‘I imagine that Peter is far more interested in the support I can give him financially rather than emotionally. I shall leave that side of it to you.’ He sighed, sounding suddenly weary. ‘However, this is hardly the place to discuss Peter’s failings. I came to tell you that it’s almost time for him and Diane to leave; so shall we get back to the party? We can sort this out later.’

‘No. We need to sort it out now. I want to be able to tell Peter if you’re going to help him or not. Jordan, wait!’

Katherine felt her temper rise to dizzying heights as Jordan started to walk away. She caught hold of his arm to stop him, determined that he was going to give her an answer. It was only when she felt him go utterly still that she realised what she had done.

She never touched him—not willingly, at least. In the whole year of their marriage not once had she reached out and placed her hand on his arm as she had done just now. Now the shock of the contact spread through her so that her fingers and arm tingled.

There was a moment’s tense silence before Katherine abruptly let him go. She drew a ragged breath of air into her deprived lungs while she avoided looking at him. But she sensed that Jordan was watching her. It disturbed her to wonder what she would see in those deep blue eyes if she looked...

‘It’s still there, isn’t it, Katherine?’ His voice was so low that it barely disturbed the silence of the night, yet she still jumped. Her eyes flew to his face, and what she saw there filled her with fear. Jordan was looking at her with an assurance and a certainty which allowed no room for doubts as he continued in that same soft tone.

‘Despite how much you hate yourself for it, you still feel that same desire for me that you felt on our wedding night.’

‘No!’ Katherine felt the blood drain from her head so fast that she thought she was going to faint. ‘You’re wrong... wrong! I don’t feel anything for you, Jordan. Do you hear me? Nothing at all except... except contempt!’

She tried to push past him, her whole body trembling with the shock of what he had just said. Jordan caught her wrist, his fingers cool and hard as they closed around her flesh to hold her still.

‘Don’t lie, Katherine! We both know what the truth is. Do you think I’m stupid? Do you imagine that I don’t know how you felt on our wedding night?’

‘Yes. You must be stupid, or incredibly arrogant!’ She gave a sharp laugh, then bit her lip as she realised she was verging on hysteria. She forced herself to meet his eyes, wanting desperately to convince him that he was wrong. ‘I know it comes as a shock to you, Jordan, but not every woman falls under your spell. If you want the truth, I hated what happened that night.’

His hands tightened; the violence she sensed in him made her wonder if she had pushed him too far. Then suddenly he gave a deep laugh, mocking, taunting, knowing... so very knowing, which was so much worse.

‘Mmm, is that a fact? You’re sickened by the idea of me making love to you? All you felt that night was revulsion ? Is that what you’re saying, Katherine?’

‘Yes! What does it take to convince you? Is your ego so huge that you can’t accept that I’m telling the truth? I hated you touching me, Jordan. I hated the thought of you anywhere near me!’

‘Like you’re hating me touching you now? Is that why your heart is racing, Katherine?’ He pressed his finger to the pulse which was throbbing at the base of her neck, and let it rest there, so that Katherine could feel its warmth branding her flesh. She jerked back, struggling to free herself, but Jordan was too strong for her to break the hold he had on her.

‘Let me go, Jordan.’

She saw his smile deepen. When he let his finger slide up her neck to come to rest by the corner of her mouth she closed her eyes, terrified of what he might see in them right now—all the turmoil and anguish she felt, all the shame that even now his touch could have such an effect on her.

‘It wasn’t loathing you felt that night, Katherine. Oh, you might have fought me like a she-cat, but it wasn’t because you were disgusted by what was happening—far from it.’ He slid that tantalising finger beneath her chin, forcing her head up. ‘You wanted me, Katherine. You wanted me with a passion that you had never expected, didn’t you? After all, you hadn’t married me because you were in love with me, so how could you have suspected that you would feel like that?’

His voice was like a drug, soft and deep, and so compelling that her eyes opened almost of their own volition. Katherine stared into his face, seeing the truth of what had happened that night—which she had tried so hard to escape from.

‘No. Jordan, I...’

He didn’t seem to hear her as he continued, in that same quiet tone which made a mockery of her halting attempts to deny what he was saying. ‘Maybe I was wrong to do what I did, but it wasn’t planned. It just happened, and for those first few minutes when I took you in my arms you responded to me. You can lie to yourself but we both know I’m right.

‘But tell me this, my sweet, who do you hate most? Me for showing you what you’re capable of feeling? Or yourself because for those few minutes you acted like a real woman, not a scared little girl!’

He let her go, his gaze contemptuous as he strode back up the path.

Katherine watched him go with tears burning in her eyes. She wanted to scream after him that it wasn’t true, but he wouldn’t believe her. Why should he? Both of them knew what had happened that night. One year later she was still paying the price for it.

No matter how hard she tried she could never forget how she had lain in Jordan’s arms and felt for him a passion she never wanted to feel again!

CHAPTER THREE

IT WAS almost three a.m. when Katherine heard the sound of a key in the lock. She hadn’t gone to bed. There had been no point—she had known she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Jordan had left the reception shortly after Peter and Diane had left for their honeymoon. Katherine wasn’t sure where he had gone but she suspected that it might have something to do with Peter.

She had stayed up, waiting for him to return, longing for him to get back but also dreading it. Of course she wanted to know that Peter had nothing more to worry about, but it was the price Jordan might demand in return for his help which worried her. She knew to her cost the kind of bargain Jordan struck!

He was in the hall taking off his jacket when she opened the sitting-room door. He glanced round, and Katherine realised how exhausted he looked. There were deep lines etched either side of his mouth and his skin looked grey beneath its tan.

‘I thought you would be in bed by now.’ He tossed his jacket onto a hook then leant against the wall as though he was almost too tired to stand up. ‘Should I be touched that you waited up for me?’

The fleeting concern Katherine had felt disappeared at once. She stared coldly back at him, hating the way he kept taunting her like that. It was something he had never done before; it made her wonder a little fearfully what had changed to make him do so now. ‘I assumed that your absence had something to do with Peter’s problems. I wanted to know what had gone on and if you had decided to help him.’

‘Of course.’ Jordan gave a soft laugh which held just a thread of menace. His eyes were cold as he came along the hall, the tiredness in them not quite hiding his contempt. ‘I should have realised that any concern you felt was purely on behalf of your beloved brother. Silly of me to imagine anything else, wasn’t it? I must be more tired than I realised.’

Katherine swung round, refusing to stand there and debate the point when her nerves were already so on edge. ‘I’ll make some coffee. You look as though you could do with some.’

‘Mmm, there’s a lot of things I could do with, my sweet wife, but I doubt I’m going to get them tonight.’

There was a nuance in his voice which brought the colour to her face. Katherine busied herself filling the percolator until she was sure that the colour had faded. Yet, when she glanced round, Jordan was watching her with an expression in his eyes which made her realise he had seen her reaction. The thought unsettled her even more, so that her hands shook and the coffee scattered all over the worktop.

‘Leave it. Instant will do. I’m too tired to wait around for that to be ready, anyway.’

He sat down at the table and closed his eyes as he ran his hand around the back of his neck to ease the aching muscles. Katherine watched him for a second, then hurriedly switched on the kettle and made two mugs of instant coffee. She set them on the table and sat down opposite him.

‘God, what a day!’ Jordan sighed as he opened his eyes and took a sip of the hot liquid. ‘I don’t remember ever being this tired before. Must be jet lag, I suppose.’ He looked up and smiled sardonically. ‘But I don’t expect you’re interested in hearing about my problems, are you, Katherine? I imagine you’re waiting to hear if Peter is off the hook.’

Katherine ignored his sarcasm. ‘And is he?’

Jordan laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. ‘That’s what I admire about you. You go straight to the important things in your life, and there is nothing quite so important as your brother—oh, and your father, of course. We mustn’t forget him, must we? Not when he was instrumental in bringing us together in the first place. Don’t you feel just the tiniest bit aggrieved with your father for that? Or do you prefer to blame me for this predicament you find yourself in? Married to a man you loathe.’

‘I have no intention of sitting here listening to this!’ Katherine went to get up, shaken by what he had said. It just confirmed all her fears that something had changed. They’d had a tacit agreement not to mention the past, but today Jordan seemed to be taking every opportunity to rake it up. However, with a speed which shocked her, he reached over and caught her hand.

‘Don’t run away. I am merely stating a fact, not trying to start an argument again if that’s what you’re worried about. The only reason you married me, Katherine, was because I had it in my power to save your father from bankruptcy. Neither of us is under any illusion about that.’

He gave her a brooding little smile as his fingers slid up her arm beneath the sleeve of her jacket. They felt cool against her skin and she shivered involuntarily, but Jordan didn’t appear to notice. She was grateful for that, because she felt vulnerable enough without him making anything out of the fact that she trembled when he touched her!

‘I wonder if it would have turned out better if I had been more like the men in your circle, the men who play by the rules you understand—like Charles, for instance. You and Charles seem to get on very well, but then you have so much in common, don’t you?’

‘I cannot see any point in this conversation. How well Charles and I get on has no bearing on this at all!’ she retorted, stung by the way she was reacting to Jordan’s touch.

‘Hasn’t it?’ Something crossed his face, an expression which made Katherine’s breath catch when she saw it. She must be mistaken, she thought wildly, because there was no reason for the sudden rage she could see in his eyes.

‘You’ve been seeing a lot of Charles recently, haven’t you, Katherine? The ballet the other day, probably the opera or an art exhibition as well. Unfortunately, I know very little about such things. But then you and Charles come from very similar backgrounds—a world away from how I was brought up, believe me.’

‘I...I really do not see where this is leading, Jordan. My friendship with Charles is neither here nor there!’

She tried to draw her hand away, but Jordan’s fingers tightened and he gave a harsh laugh. ‘So that’s what you and Charles are—friends? I see.’

‘What do you mean? What do you see? Exactly what are you implying, Jordan?’ Katherine felt her heart leap as she heard the scorn in his voice.

‘Why should I be implying anything?’ His eyes were suddenly hooded as they rested on her angry face. ‘I was merely trying to determine if our marriage could have been a success if I were like the other men you know, but I don’t suppose it would have made a scrap of difference.

‘The last thing you wanted from me or any man was a real relationship, wasn’t it? You were simply willing to trade yourself in exchange for what I could do for your father. Now we shall have to see what you are prepared to do to help your brother.’

‘I imagine it depends on what you ask in return for helping Peter, doesn’t it?’ She gave a bitter laugh, anger washing through her in red-hot waves to chase away the nervousness she felt. How dared Jordan speak to her like that?

‘If we are establishing facts then let’s get them straight. If I was prepared to trade then so were you! Or are you trying to claim that you fell in love with me, and that’s why you wanted to marry me? I don’t think so!’

She dragged her hand free, barely noticing the way his eyes flickered behind his heavy lids. She had no idea why he was acting like this, but if he imagined she was going to sit there and take whatever he cared to dole out then he was mistaken!

‘You wanted a suitable wife who knew how to entertain your clients and I wanted to help my father. Those are the facts. They have nothing to do with Charles or anyone else. It was just that you, with your usual arrogance, decided to change the rules! Our marriage could have been perfectly amicable if you hadn’t taken it upon yourself to show me things you thought I should know!’

She pushed back the chair so that its legs scraped against the tiles. The noise was harsh and discordant. Katherine’s nerves strained at it. She felt incredibly angry. How Jordan felt she had no idea. He was just sitting there staring down at the mug of coffee, his head bowed almost in defeat...

That thought fled from her mind as fast as it had appeared. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing hysterically. ‘Defeat’ wasn’t a word Jordan understood!

‘So, are you going to tell me where you went tonight and what happened, or not?’

There was a moment when she thought he wasn’t going to answer, and then he looked up. There was no anger on his face, nothing to show how much he resented the things she had said, but that didn’t fool her. Jordan must be furious about the way she had spoken to him. Her heart lurched as she wondered if it had been wise in the circumstances.

‘Why not? After all, you more than anyone are entitled to know what your brother has been up to, Katherine.’

There was something in his voice, an undercurrent, which made her skin prickle with apprehension. Katherine drew a ragged breath as she recalled what he had said about how far she would be prepared to go to help Peter...

‘Then you had better tell me exactly what you found out, hadn’t you?’ She forced down the fear and struggled to appear composed, but it wasn’t easy. Jordan had more reason than ever to extract a high price for his help!

He smiled narrowly as he picked up his cup. ‘It appears that your brother doesn’t owe fifty thousand pounds after all.’

Katherine blinked in confusion. ‘But why did he say that he did? I don’t understand.’

Jordan slammed the cup down so hard that she jumped. ‘It’s simple. Peter owes closer to one hundred thousand. The fifty grand he needs so urgently is just the start. It just so happens that the owners of one particular club have decided to call in his debt, and I’m sure the rest of his creditors won’t be far behind them once word gets out. From what I was able to discover, Peter owes various sums to at least half a dozen clubs around London.’

‘No!’ Katherine gripped the table as the room swam out of focus. ‘Are... are you sure? It could be some sort of a silly mix-up—even... even a deliberate attempt to extort money. I mean, who’s to say if those people didn’t just tell you that in the hope that you would settle the debt for Peter?’

‘I don’t think so. They wouldn’t be that foolish!’ Jordan’s laughter was harsh, brutal even. In the bright overhead light his face looked tough and uncompromising, with a cold cynicism glittering in his eyes which made her shiver as she saw it.

She knew his reputation, of course. Jordan was a tough negotiator and few who crossed him survived to tell the tale. There had been many articles in the papers about the way he had fought his way to the top with a ruthless determination. He never compromised, never accepted second best, never allowed anything to deter him from his goals. If anyone could help Peter out of this situation then it was Jordan, but what he would expect in return remained to be seen!

She took a quick little breath to control the rush of fear as Jordan continued in the same uncompromising tone. ‘It appears that an attempt was made to contact me once it was realised how deeply in debt your brother was getting. Unfortunately I was out of the country at the time, so the message never reached me.’

Katherine frowned in bewilderment. ‘I don’t understand. Why should these people have contacted you?’

‘Because your brother gave my name as a reference when he asked to extend his credit. Somehow it was allowed to slip through without a proper check being done, and once one club had agreed to the new credit limits the others followed suit. Alarm bells only started ringing when people realised that he was in way over his head, but by then it was too late.

‘Unless Peter finds a way to repay the money he’ll be ruined. There is no way that he’ll be kept on at the Stock Exchange once word gets out, and believe me it won’t take long before that happens.’

‘No!’ Katherine stared at Jordan in despair. ‘Is... is there anything we can do?’

‘That depends.’ Jordan looked down at the mug. When he looked up again, Katherine could see something in his eyes which made her heart beat so fast that she could feel the blood swirling through her veins.

‘On what?’ Her voice was whispery-thin in the silence. She licked her parched lips and made herself repeat the question she didn’t want to ask. ‘What does it depend on, Jordan? What are you saying?’

‘That it is up to you what happens, Katherine. Peter’s future depends on what you decide to do.’

‘I don’t understand...’

‘It’s simple.’ Jordan leant back in the chair as he watched her through narrowed eyes. ‘I am willing to pay everything Peter owes and write off the money so that he doesn’t need to repay me a penny of it. However, there are certain conditions attached to my offer... naturally.’

He made it sound like some sort of business proposition. Katherine wished she could believe it was that simple! Her mind ran wild trying to understand, but she had no idea what he was proposing—that was the trouble. ‘And those conditions are...?’

‘That Peter gets the help he needs to stop gambling. I also expect him to give me a written undertaking, enforceable in a court of law, that he will never use my name again without my permission.’

‘That seems fair.’ Katherine managed a shaky smile. As far as she was concerned Jordan was being more than charitable in the circumstances.

‘That isn’t all, Katherine. There is one other condition attached to my offer. One which concerns you. I want you to think very carefully before you decide, because once you do there will be no going back on your decision. You have to be sure that you can carry it through if you agree to my terms.’

Katherine’s fingers were numb because she was gripping the table so hard. As though from a distance she heard her own voice, thin and shallow, asking the question, ‘And that condition is?’

‘That we end this sham of a marriage.’

The blood rushed through every bit of her so fast that her fingers tingled and her body throbbed. It was relief, she told herself, the sheer relief of hearing those words that was causing this reaction. To imagine that there was the slightest trace of disappointment at it was ridiculous.