Twin Blessings and Toward Home: Twin Blessings / Toward Home

She had spent time with Henri. Had dated him and thought she’d found someone who cared about her. Who accepted her without expectations. Then one day she let him see the stained glass work she did in her spare time. Time she’d eked away from the mindless day jobs she needed to pay for her supplies. She’d planned on selling her work when she had enough inventory built up. The money was going to finance her working full time on her own.

Henri knew a place to sell her stuff and promised her more money than she could get peddling at craft fairs and local markets.

She had fallen for his charm, his smooth talk, and in no time, seven of her best pieces of work had been taken and sold. She had trusted him to return. Trusted him to give her the money.

She hadn’t seen a penny from Henri. Nor had she seen Henri again.

At that low point in her life, Cora came up with the brain wave of moving to Alberta.

Sandra had fought the move. Anywhere in Alberta was too close to Calgary and home. But the thought of staying alone was even more depressing.

So she gamely packed up her little car with the few things she and Cora owned. They worked their way through the Fraser Valley, then across Alberta to Medicine Hat. There they found an ad for a small furnished house for rent in the town of Elkwater. It had an extra room for Sandra to set up a studio of sorts. Sandra sold a few pieces, and through that got the order for the lamps.

Now Cora was gone, with a promise that as soon as she returned, they would head south to California. But the longer Cora stayed away, the less sure Sandra was of leaving. In fact, it seemed that in the past six months, Sandra’s dissatisfaction with her life had grown.

She missed belonging somewhere. And whether she wanted to admit it or not, she missed belonging to someone.

She glanced out the window. A movement at the church made Sandra pay closer attention. The doors opened and a few people walked out.

She wasn’t going to watch, she thought.

But she couldn’t stop herself from looking. Bethany and Brittany bounced out of the church, their facial expressions exaggerated as they chatted with each other. Sandra smiled and kept looking, wondering.

And there he was. Behind them, hands in the pockets of his eternal khaki pants, came their uncle Logan.

He was smiling, looking relaxed, at peace.

Sandra felt a mixture of envy and a lift of pleasure as she watched him. He was good-looking, she had to concede. He had the potential to be a lot of fun, if only he’d drop the fussy, protective-uncle shtick he insisted on maintaining.

He paused, looking back to say something to a young woman who caught up to him. She wore a beige shift. Neat. Elegant. Uptight, Sandra thought a bit cattily.

Logan’s smile grew as he spoke to the woman. He lifted his hand and touched her shoulder lightly. It was almost avuncular, but for the first time in many years, Sandra felt a distinct dig of jealousy at the gesture. Around Sandra, Logan was either uptight, thinking she might lead his nieces astray, or he was scowling, thinking she might lead his nieces astray.

He was worse than some of the parents she had met while student teaching.

Yet she couldn’t keep her eyes off him as he talked to the woman.

She wondered who she was. Friend? Girlfriend who had come up for a visit?

Sandra took a deep breath, as if cleansing away the coil of strange emotions, and concentrated on tracing exactly twelve petals on the glass. She made a mistake and rubbed it out with a tissue then glanced out the window again.

But Logan, the woman and the girls were gone.

She felt momentarily bereft. Left out. She didn’t belong to that little group. She was here in her rented house. They were out there, heading to Logan’s spacious cabin.

This was enough, she told herself.

She capped her pen, dropped it on her worktable and headed to the beach, open spaces and other people.

“I’d love to go for a walk.” As Karen stood, she addressed the girls, who were laying on the floor, playing a board game. “Are you coming, Brittany and Bethany?”

Logan saw them exchange a quick look, and it wasn’t kind. He knew they would say no. They had never really liked Karen.

“We’d love to,” Brittany said, getting up. “Wouldn’t we Bethany?”

Bethany nodded, smiling at her uncle, who looked at both his nieces, his eyes narrowed. Why the sudden change of heart?

“We’ll clean the game up after, Uncle Logan,” Brittany said, smiling at him.

They were up to something. He knew it. He angled his body away from Karen. He shot them both a warning look that he knew Karen wouldn’t see.

They quickly glanced down, and he knew the message was sent and understood. Behave.

He turned to Karen with a forced smile. “Shall we go?”

The afternoon sun warmed Logan’s shoulders as they walked in silence to the lake.

Logan was still trying to absorb the shock he had felt when Karen showed up unexpectedly on his doorstep this morning.

She had been passing through, she had said. Stayed overnight in Medicine Hat. Logan’s partner told her where he was. She thought, since she was in the neighborhood, maybe she would stop in and see how Logan and the girls were doing.

Brittany and Bethany stayed close by as they walked, as if unwilling to give Karen and Logan the space they always gave him and Sandra.

“Your partner, Ian, tells me that you’ve got an important project due,” Karen said, breaking the silence.

Logan nodded. “I’m submitting it on spec. A few other architects are submitting plans, as well. If the client likes what I’ve done, we have a good chance at more work.” He bit his lip, thinking of the project that just wouldn’t obey. He’d never had this hard a time coming up with ideas. Nor had so much been riding on one project, he reminded himself.

“I heard it was the Jonserads that you might be doing this work for.” Karen angled him a questioning glance. “They’re a pretty big company. Family business.”

Logan nodded. He didn’t need the reminder.

“My parents know the Jonserads,” she added coyly. “If you want, I could put in a good word for you.”

Logan stiffened at the suggestion. All his life he had worked for everything he had. Nothing had come easily. He had managed without anyone’s help, and he was proud of that.

“Thanks for that, Karen. But I would just as soon earn the job based on my own merit.” He smiled at her to ease the harshness of his words. But he could tell from the suddenly brittle smile that she was hurt.

“The girls seem to be settling down,” Karen said with forced brightness as she wrapped her sweater around herself.

Thankfully Brittany and Bethany had gone a little ahead, talking and laughing.

“It’s taken a bit of doing, but it’s coming along.” Logan slipped his hands in his pockets, squinting against the glare of the sun off the lake. He wondered again why Karen had come.

They arrived at the boardwalk that led partway around the lake. Karen’s steps slowed. She was letting the girls get even farther ahead.

“I know my coming here is a surprise,” she said quietly, looking straight ahead. “I’m sure you thought, after I broke up with you, that you’d never see me again.”

Logan said nothing, letting her do all the talking. Their break had caused him a measure of pain, but in retrospect, he realized that his pride had hurt more than his feelings.

“This is a little awkward for me.” She sighed and stopped, turning to face him, lifting her exquisite face to his. Her short blond hair framed her features perfectly, emphasizing her delicate cheekbones, the fine line of her chin. Logan recognized her beauty almost as an afterthought. Which surprised him, considering that at one time he’d been attracted to her.

“I realized how much I missed you, Logan,” she continued, her soft green eyes holding his. “When the girls came, I made a rash decision. I see that now.”

“It was a while ago, Karen,” he gently reminded her. Eighteen months, to be precise, he thought.

“I know. That’s what makes this so awkward.” She smiled at him, tentatively reaching out to him. “I tried to date other guys. I thought I could forget you.” She shrugged her dainty shoulders, wrapped by her finely knit cardigan. “I couldn’t.”

Logan nodded, wondering how to extricate himself from this situation. Karen might have been yearning to try again, but he had no inclination to renew the relationship. Not with his work and his nieces occupying most of his time.

Where were those girls when he needed them?

As if on cue, he heard Brittany call, “Uncle Logan, look who we found.”

He glanced up with a grin of relief that faded when he saw their reluctant escort.

Sandra Bachman.

Brittany had one of her hands, Bethany the other, and they were pulling her along the boardwalk.

The girls stopped in front of Karen and Logan, looking at Sandra like they had just snagged a prize.

“She was coming this way already,” Bethany said, bestowing an angelic smile on Logan.

“I was just heading home, actually,” Sandra said. The soft breeze coming off the lake teased her loose hair, made her long flowing skirt sway. She looked soft, deceptively gentle. Logan couldn’t look away.

Her dark eyes flicked over Karen, then to Logan, one eyebrow quirking when she noticed his regard.

Covering up, Logan turned to Karen. “I should introduce you to the girls’ tutor, Sandra Bachman. Sandra, this is…Karen.”

Karen seemed to catch his momentary hesitation over her official title, but recovered and put on a polite smile, extending her hand to Sandra.

“Nice to meet you,” Karen said smoothly.

Sandra shook her hand, her gaze assessing. “Likewise,” she said, one corner of her mouth curling into a smile.

Logan braced himself for one of Sandra’s comments, but she said nothing more.

“So the girls must keep you quite busy,” Karen said.

Sandra glanced at each of the girls. “They’re a challenge that I try to rise to every day. But I think we’re making some progress.”

Karen murmured a vague response, then looked at Logan, as if expecting him to end this conversation.

But Logan knew what faced him if he was alone with Karen again. He didn’t feel inclined to reopen the topic of Karen and her feelings on their relationship.

“Out for some exercise?” he asked Sandra, slipping his hands in his pockets, projecting the image of someone with nothing better to do than chat up his nieces’ tutor.

“No, just a walk,” Sandra replied with a sparkle in her eye. “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.”

Logan couldn’t help his answering grin. “And here I thought you were the kind of person who would spend hours in aerobic classes.”

Sandra waved that comment away. “I’d sooner spend my money on chocolate fudge sundaes than pay someone to put me through pain.”

“If you’ve experienced pain while doing aerobics, that could be the fault of your instructor,” Karen informed her.

Logan glanced sidelong at Karen, feeling a faint flush of shame at how completely he had ignored her.

“Could be,” Sandra agreed, her grin fading as she looked at Karen. “Or it could be that I just wasn’t doing things right.” Sandra took an abrupt step back, and Logan recognized the first movement toward departure. The quick glance at her watch was the second.

He didn’t want her to go.

“It’s been nice meeting you, Karen,” she said, formal. Polite.

Karen smiled in return.

But the girls weren’t happy. “We just got here. You can’t go now, Sandra,” Brittany wailed.

Sandra laid a hand on each of their shoulders, still grinning. “I have two legs, and in spite of not taking aerobics, I can walk quite well. No ‘can’t’ about it.”

“Then you shouldn’t go,” Bethany corrected, grabbing Sandra’s hand.

“And shouldn’t is a moral imperative, Bethany.” Sandra tapped Bethany’s nose. “I’m on my day off, so I’m not under any obligation to follow it.”

Logan couldn’t help but smile at the word games Sandra so easily indulged in. But it was better for all concerned, himself included, if they kept their relationship arm’s-length.

“Let’s go, Bethy, Brit,” Logan said, hastening the separation. “We shouldn’t waste Sandra’s time.”

In spite of his reflections, he couldn’t help another glance in her direction and was disconcerted to see her looking at him, as well, her expression serious.

Then, with a quick wave and a toss of her head, Sandra was striding down the boardwalk toward the beach, her hair and skirt swinging in time with her steps.

“So, that’s the new tutor,” Karen said, a prim note in her voice. “She seems very…vivacious.”

Logan’s only acknowledgment of Karen’s statement was a curt nod. As he glanced at Karen, he couldn’t help comparing the two women. Sandra’s dark eyes, dark hair and wide smile. Karen’s light hair, clear eyes and composed manner.

Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts aside. Karen had come to church. Sandra hadn’t. That should be comparison enough for him.

Karen stayed until late afternoon. She coerced the girls into a board game, talked with Logan about friends they had in common.

But when she drove away and he came into the cabin, he felt worn out and was thankful to be alone again.

“You’re not going back to her, are you?” Brittany asked as soon as he stepped into the house. She lay on the couch, Bethany on the recliner. Both had their eyes fixed on their uncle.

Logan looked at his more outspoken niece, weighing his words. “That’s not for you to say, Brittany,” he replied firmly, recognizing the need to set personal boundaries. “Karen is a good person, and at one time we had a strong relationship.”

“Why did she come back?”

“She just came for a visit.” Logan wasn’t going to delve into the real reason. Given the girls’ antagonism toward his former girlfriend and their not so subtle cheerleading for Sandra, he figured the less they knew, the better.

Brittany gave her uncle a knowing look. “I bet she wants you back.”

Logan was taken aback at Brittany’s perceptiveness.

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you,” Brittany said smugly. “What do you think, Bethany?”

Bethany gave a hesitant shrug. “I don’t know.”

Brittany snorted. “Of course, you don’t know. She liked you.” Brittany looked at her uncle. “I think she wants you back.”

“And I think you’ve said enough, Brittany,” Logan chided, walking past her to the kitchen. “Seeing as how you’re so full of advice, you can help me make supper tonight.”

But as they ate, the girls’ words reinforced what he already knew. Karen was sweet, kind and shared the same faith.

She just didn’t hold the appeal she once had. Her soft green eyes and her pale blondness seemed pallid.

Pallid compared to Sandra’s heavy brown hair and dancing eyes.

Chapter Six

Logan added a few more flourishes to his drawing and stood to have a better look.

His first impulse was to throw it in the garbage.

His second was to rip it up.

Then throw it in the garbage.

He wasn’t exactly sure why he didn’t like it, just that it looked like every other house in Calgary right now. Boxy and choppy with cluttered rooflines.

“Uncle Logan, we’re done with the dishes.” Bethany stood in the doorway of his office looking especially demure.

He nodded absently.

“Can me and Brittany ask you a favor?”

Logan frowned and turned, giving his niece his full attention. “Since when do you girls ask if you can ask?”

Bethany lifted her hands and shoulders at the same time, signaling complete incomprehension.

“So, what is it?”

“Well, it’s Grandma’s birthday pretty soon, and me and Brit want to make her a present to give to her. We wanted to give her something real special and we had a good idea.”

“And what’s the point of all this?” Logan asked, stifling a yawn.

“Well…” Bethany hesitated, pressing her fingers together as if in supplication. “We thought it would be fun to make a stained glass sun catcher. Sandra said she would help us.”

Logan shouldn’t have been surprised. Since Sunday, the girls had been jockeying to visit Sandra each evening, and each evening he firmly said no.

“It would make a real cool present for her,” Bethany added.

“You girls just don’t quit, do you?” he said, shaking his head.

Bethany looked the picture of innocence, and once again Logan went through all the reasons they shouldn’t go to Sandra’s. She was their tutor, not their friend, and it was important to teach them the difference. She was much older than them and probably not a whole lot wiser, in spite of her degree. He didn’t like them hanging around with her. Period.

Although the last was becoming harder to justify. He had given her the responsibility of teaching his nieces, and in spite of their differing over her methods, the girls were understanding their work.

Brittany joined Bethany. Reinforcements, he thought wryly. “Come to add your two cents?” he asked her, his hands on his hips.

“We thought it would be a good idea to go,” Brittany said, ignoring his rhetorical question. “This way you could have some more time alone to work on your project.” Her eyes skittered to the drawing on his board, and her face fell. “Are you done?”

Logan didn’t even bother to give the rendering another second of his attention. He sighed. “No, I’m not. I thought I was, but I don’t like it.”

Brittany walked to the drawing and held it up. “It looks okay,” she said. “But not your best work.”

Logan bit back the quick smile at Brittany’s authoritative tone. She glanced at him, perfectly serious. “Looks like it’s back to the drawing board.”

“I guess.”

“So you’ll want some more quiet time,” she added.

Logan couldn’t stop his smile. “You’re more than just a pretty face, Brittany,” he said, his voice full of admiration. He knew exactly where she was headed.

“Maybe we should visit Sandra and she can help us with Grandma’s birthday present so you’ll have the house to yourself for a while.”

Logan held their innocent gazes and against his will he had to admit that he was beat. He raised his hands as if in surrender. “Okay, okay,” he said with a suppressed sigh. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked first at one, then the other. “I will bring you girls there and come and pick you up at exactly nine o’clock. Sharp. No excuses.”

“Okay,” they said in unison.

“Can we go now?” Bethany asked.

Once he had caved in, he couldn’t think of a reason.

Logan glanced at his watch. Eight-eighteen. Still too early to go and get the girls. When he had dropped them off at Sandra’s place, she’d been cool and reserved. Just as she’d been when she came to work with the girls during the day. They spent as much time outside as possible, as if avoiding him. They went for short walks into the hills and came back giggling and laughing. When, out of curiosity, he asked her what she was doing, she told him, but her tone was defensive. He didn’t like it.

Sighing, he picked up his pencil, made a few halfhearted doodles and glared at the result. This project was slowly losing its appeal, even though he couldn’t put it out of his head. Sure, it would be nice to get the Jonserads as clients, but this project was starting to consume him. He found no joy in it. And, he reminded himself, it wasn’t even a sure thing.

He got up from his makeshift drawing board and wandered to the living room.

He tried to analyze the peculiar restlessness that had gripped him since Sunday. He was sure it wasn’t Karen. When she left he had felt relief more than anything. But she was a reminder to him of what he had once had. A girlfriend. Someone who cared that he was spending his entire holiday on a project when he really should be sitting at the beach with his nieces.

She was also a reminder of his one-time freedom and the chance to make choices for himself. No responsibilities other than his own.

Since the girls had come into his life, he felt a keen pressure to provide for them, to make sure that they had food and clothes and that their schoolwork was done. To supervise them and to seek out their best interests.

He thought of Sandra again and begrudgingly realized that with her the girls were enthusiastic and did their work. He wondered what they were doing right now.

A quick glance at his watch showed him that precisely sixty seconds had passed. He dropped into his recliner and, pushing the papers he had been reading aside, he reached for his Bible. Yesterday was the last time he had read it, and in his current frame of mind, he needed the comfort he knew he would find there.

Leafing through the pages, he found the Psalm he had often read to the girls when they first came. Psalm sixty-eight. “Sing to God, sing praise to His name, extol Him who rides on the clouds—His name is the Lord—and rejoice before Him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads forth the prisoners with singing.”

Logan smiled as he read the familiar words. When the girls came to his home, they were lonely, grieving and afraid. They knew him, but just in passing, and now they were living with him.

Bethany and Brittany had been comforted by the words and comforted by the faith they were slowly discovering each day.

A faith he tried to nurture wherever possible. He had found a Christian school they could attend. He took them to church, got them involved in the youth group. Each day he tried, in his own inadequate way, to show them God’s love.

So how did someone like Sandra fit into their lives? She didn’t go to church, though she professed a faith in God. How wise was it to let her teach girls who were still struggling in their own faith?

Logan’s second thoughts made him close the Bible and get up. It didn’t matter what time he had told the girls he was going to pick them up, he was leaving now.

The streets of Elkwater were quiet as he made his way to Sandra’s place. From a distance he heard the insistent boom of a stereo. Probably some teenagers whooping it up on the campground, he figured. He felt sorry for the campers. At least he didn’t have to contend with that, because they owned their own cabin.

The lights were on in Sandra’s house, and he realized that the music he had thought was coming from the campground was coming from Sandra’s stereo.

He knocked on the door, knowing it was futile over the noise. So he let himself in.

When he had dropped the girls off, Sandra had been sitting outside reading, so he hadn’t gone in. He stepped into the house, curiously glancing around at the array of mismatched furniture, the books piled on every available table. It was neat, sort of, yet with a lived-in and comfortable feeling. The lighting in this part of the house was warm, created by the jeweled glow of two stained glass lamps—a tall standing lamp hovering behind a well-worn chair and a table lamp across the room. Sandra’s creations, he presumed.

“Hello,” he called, staying in the entrance. The music was coming from a room off the living room. He waited, then Bethany popped her head around the corner.

“Oh, hi, Uncle Logan,” she called.

“Don’t sound so excited to see me,” he returned with a grin.

The music was turned down, and Sandra appeared behind Bethany, glancing at her watch.

“I know. I’m early,” he said. “I just thought I’d see what the girls were up to.”

“Checking on me?” Sandra asked with a petulant tilt of her eyebrows.

“Nope, just bored.”

Sandra angled her head toward the room they had come out of. “Come in, then, and see what they’ve been doing.”

Logan forced a smile, wondering again why she was so cool in his presence. Wondering why he didn’t like it.