Touch Me

- There is no turn for me.

- But your party...

- This is my party.

- But you're not there, Kira murmured apologetically.

- And that's how it works. Here, parties are only for shootings. The fun party with friends has already happened and that was for Sandy. This on the other hand, is not a party but a real modeling shoot, which involves all my sisters and my mother.” I said, pointing to my family sitting in front of the fireplace.

My mother had a cascade of golden brown hair that fell gracefully over one of her bare shoulders. She held Sissi in her arms, dressed like a princess in peach, like my mother's shimmering dress. Ava was a carbon copy of my mother, and they could be mistaken for sisters given the facial and skin treatments my mother underwent every day. Their only difference was their eyes: my mother's were blue and Ava's were light brown, almost golden, thanks to special lenses she always wore. Bethany stood next to my mother, strapped into a silver dress that left little to the imagination. She, too, was beautiful with her straight blonde hair and blue eyes highlighted by perfect, bright makeup. Next to them was Sandy, with her blonde curls, hazel eyes like mine, skin treated with a pearly self-tanning cream, little mermaid dress and gold heeled sandals.

Despite my beautiful dress, I was not among them. Not by chance, nobody had come to compliment me or ask me to pose with them. They couldn't risk losing followers and showing that in the middle of so much beauty was hiding an ugly duckling who, growing up, hadn't metamorphosed into a beautiful swan.

I didn't even take offense when my mother insisted on including Kira and Alice in the shots. I knew it would happen, but I had to hold back my laughter as I watched them run away. Alice looked like someone just out of a cockfight and Kira was so shocked by all the pretensions of perfection that she finally retreated.

“ I promise not to get offended if you don't invite me to your birthday party with your family next year, Kira blurted out as she cleaned her clothes of a shower of glitter thrown in the air for a photo.

- I don't want to either. I feel exhausted. In ten minutes, I was asked to do all kinds of poses and smile at the camera, but I didn't even get a piece of cake, Alice added tiredly.

- At my house, the cake is only for pictures, not for eating. No one wants to get fat or get pimples.

- They don't even eat your desserts? exclaimed a shocked Alice, who loved my cooking.

- They don't eat anything I make. They say they're afraid of getting fat like me and that if I want to get people to try my food, I should set a good example by losing at least ten pounds.

- This is a crazy family! exploded Alice.

- Well said, young lady!” thundered a voice behind our back.

We turned around and saw my grandmother, with her perpetual perfect bun taming her now gray hair, her inseparable pearl necklace and a beautiful canary yellow suit. She looked like the Queen of England.

“ Grandma, at last! I greeted her with a hug. She was the only one who never made me feel alone.

- Are those geese done with their stupid shots?

- No, they have another hour or so. But come here. I want you to meet my friends: Alice and Kira.”

I saw her bright blue eyes focus on the girls, who greeted her kindly.

“ - I can feel a change in the air, she sighed in the same bewitching voice she used when she read the future to her friends.

- Grandma, don't start.

- And you, stop being afraid of change!” she replied as she walked to the old kitchen table, which was not part of the shooting set. She motioned for us to follow her.

We sat down at the table and my grandmother took out of her bag a small coconut and chocolate muffin and a red candle. She lit it with a lighter.

“ - I didn't know you were bringing friends, so I only have a muffin to celebrate your birthday, she said.

- It doesn't matter, Kira and Alice said quickly, moved by the gesture.

- Fine. In that case, my darling, happy birthday and may this year you be able to realize all those dreams you keep jealously hidden in the drawer of your heart, my grandmother said, handing me the cake and the candle. Now close your eyes, make a wish and blow out the candle.

- Careful, Felicity. A better wish than the one from a few hours ago, Alice warned me before turning to my grandmother to explain. Today she asked for a boyfriend like ours.

- If she asked, that means that's what she wants, my grandmother justified.

- I'll change then, I offered.

- It's too late. An expressed wish is a wish that has already come true,” my grandmother said in a cryptic voice.

I seriously doubted that my wish would be granted, but I remained silent.

I closed my eyes and, in my heart, vowed to remain friends with Kira and Alice forever. And if possible, to have the beauty of Kira and the boldness of Alice.

I opened my eyes and blew out the candle.

Kira and Alice clapped happily.

“ Yes... There is definitely change in the air. I hope you're prepared, because this time fate isn't going to play fast and loose with your wish, my grandmother muttered with a frown.

- Are you a clairvoyant? asked Alice amused before I could stop her.

- I'm a fortune teller, my grandmother replied haughtily, pulling out of her bag a deck of custom cards she had created herself, based on symbols like runes and Egyptian hieroglyphics, which only she understood.

- Really? challenged Alice.

- Pick three cards and I'll tell you something about yourself and your future,” my grandmother invited her, determined to be taken seriously.

Although she looked skeptical, Alice agreed.

She chose three cards with incomprehensible designs.

“ I see a difficult past, without a mother figure to refer to,” my grandmother murmured, stroking the cards as if she could grasp the meaning of the drawings by their physical contact.

Alice remained unmoved and looked at me suspiciously, silently asking if she had learned this information from me, but I shook my head. I had never talked about my friends with my grandmother.

“ Now I see a great love... A rose full of thorns, impossible to pick, but able to love only the person who knows how to care for it. And you did.

- I'm in a relationship with Easton Carson. I don't know if you know him... Can you tell me if we'll always be together?

- In the map of the future, that rose still appears, so I think you'll still be together, and I also see a lot of... animals? Is that possible?

- Yes, I want to open a shelter for stray animals and help the animal protection associations in my city, Alice explained to her, moved. This is my dream.

- A dream that will certainly come true and with beautiful results as far as I can see.”

Alice had to restrain herself from jumping for joy.

“ - Your turn, Kira.”

Hesitantly, my friend picked up three cards.

“ It's amazing how the delicate flutter of a little butterfly's wings can unleash a full-blown hurricane. If I saw a tornado with a fragile and sensitive heart in Alice, here we clearly perceive the strength that hides in the pure soul of this young woman. A purity that is not even tainted by the dark shadow that embraces you with love and possession.

- You mean her boyfriend? I tried to understand.

- Yes, a broken and dark soul, but one that Kira has managed to illuminate and repair, my grandmother explained.

- He's not broken, Kira said vehemently.

- He is and you know it too. It's just that you can't admit it, because then you wouldn't be able to live with the guilt you feel for having caused him to be the way he is. When you left him alone with his demons.

- I... she tried to justify herself, but she burst into tears.

- Grandma! I scolded her, angry at the tears she caused.

- I said she feels guilty, not that she is guilty, my grandmother explained. Kira, it's not your fault.

- It is. I left when he needed me most...

- It is not you who extinguished his light, it is you who illuminate his heart every day with your love. An eternal love, studded with many children... Really many... Too many... Maybe not all yours, my grandmother tried to understand, confused.

- I want children, but I also want to become a social worker and take care of children who are orphaned or victims of abuse and violence. Lucas also wants to work with young people who have a difficult childhood.

- A noble cause, which will bring immense joy to your family.

- Really? asked Kira with a hopeful smile.

- There are ups and downs in your future. Life is not a slide, but rather a roller coaster. You will experience some beautiful moments and some difficult and painful ones. But you know what will keep you alive and happy? Love. I'm not just talking about the man you love, but also about your friendship, all the things you will do with passion and the heart you will offer to those you will help and save during your long life.

- Thank you, Kira sighed serenely as she shook my grandmother's hand.

- Now it's Felicity's turn, Alice said excitedly.

I took three cards myself.

“ The change! I knew it!" my grandmother enthused as she stroked the first card I had drawn. Get ready, my dear, because the life you've lived until now will end very soon. You have asked fate for what you think you are not going to get. Well, this time you will be satisfied, but not by your rules.

- What do you mean by that?

- For years you have asked to be beautiful, to have a boyfriend, to have friends, to graduate... You have often been granted, but you have been self-sabotaging because you did not believe enough in your abilities. You had few but good opportunities to change, but you always turned away. Well, this time it's not going to happen, because what you want is going to come at you so hard that you won't be able to run away.

- Should I be afraid? I asked, trying to hide the rising anxiety that was twisting my stomach.

- I don't think you will die in the accident.

- What accident? Kira, Alice and I shouted in unison.

- It doesn't say it.

- Grandma, you can't scare me by telling me about an accident and then not say anything else.

- You're the one who wanted to change!

- Yes, change, not kill someone or break my neck somewhere! I exploded, already seeing myself behind bars or in a wheelchair all my life.

- I don't think anything like that will happen, but...

- But?

- Someone is going to get hurt, that's for sure. It's obvious, my grandmother explained with a shrug. I hated how tactless she was in some situations.

- Please, ma'am, the cards must say something else!

- Oh yes, they do! Felicity, keep studying like that and you'll graduate without any problems! You'll have an internship too, where you can show your talent.

- But what does it matter about my degree and my internship now? I got angry.

- It matters to me. Since I'm paying for your education! Of all the damn brains here, you're the only one who can fulfill my dream of having a granddaughter graduate. I've invested a lot in you and will continue to do so, if you promise me that you will work hard.

- If I don't die first at least.

- You won't. The cards say you'll have two cats later.

- Perfect... Old maid and cat lady!

- It's a prejudice without foundation.

- Is there any way to avoid this accident? Kira tried, determined not to give up.

- Of course there is!

- And which one? exclaimed my two friends in chorus, full of hope.

- Don't cross the street until you've checked it's clear, don't take candy from strangers, don't walk on rooftops...

- Yes, but apart from that? Alice became impatient with all these obvious facts.

- Start living and savoring every moment.”

3

FELICITY

“ - Please stop checking that horoscope every three seconds! said an exasperated Alice as she put on her shoes and jacket.

- Just one more minute, I replied irritably, going to read the second horoscope.

- Have you seen what time it is at least?

I looked up.

- Shit! I screamed as I realized I only had twenty minutes left before my economics class. And I was still in my pajamas!

- You're wasting your life with these shitty horoscopes,” Alice continued as she picked up her books and left the room.

I huffed nervously.

It had been two weeks since my grandmother told me I would have an accident.

From that day on, I relied on horoscopes and read at least five a day to be safe, before running to class.

But that morning, I had gotten up late and read about a Saturn-Mars squaring that alerted me and made me waste time.

I hurriedly got dressed without taking a shower.

I grabbed my laptop and headed outside.

The college was a fifteen-minute walk away, so I walked quickly, but without taking my eyes off my phone screen, to finish reading the horoscopes.

I was almost there when I read the last one: “Due to Saturn squaring, watch out for accidents”.

Accidents !

That word literally paralyzed me.

I couldn't breathe and my legs began to shake with fear.

I looked down at my feet and saw that I was standing on a patch of ice that had formed from a water leak and the icy wind that had been blowing all night.

So this would be my accident? Slipping on the ice and falling and breaking God knows what?

Determined to save myself from this prophecy, I walked slowly, when a noise suddenly caught my attention.

I turned around and realized that I had stopped in the middle of the road, right in the path of a motorcycle that was coming towards me at full speed.

I stood still, my heart pounding, unable to react to the inevitable crash, as the surprised driver slammed on the brakes, but the ice prevented the tires from sticking.

Now close to the impact, he only had to steer violently to avoid me, leaning to one side to the point of losing control of the vehicle, which ended up against a lamppost, and that the boy fell to the ground and rolled for several meters before stopping.

Oh my God! What have I done? I've... I've killed a man!

Despite the fear that had short-circuited my brain, I felt a surge of adrenaline that sent me running toward the biker lying motionless on the ground.

I was near him in a few seconds.

I touched him and tried to look at his face, but it was hidden by the helmet.

I slowly lifted the broken visor and saw two eyes as black as the leather suit he was wearing.

They were groggy but looking at me, even though it was clear that this boy was almost unconscious.

I immediately called an ambulance and tried to talk to him, but I saw blood dripping from a large tear in the sleeve of his leather jacket.

“ Are you hurt, are you okay? Can you hear me? What is your name? I repeated this several times, trying to keep him awake.

- Ryo, he murmured with difficulty after a moment.

- Ryo Jackson? I said under my breath, feeling as if I had put both feet in the grave.

- Yes, he groaned, trying to move.

- Don't move. You might have something broken, head trauma...” I tried to explain to him, scaring myself, while my mind screamed at me that I had almost killed the pesky, unscrupulous Ryo Jackson, one of the four boys who had made the lives of many students in our high school hell. And if that wasn't enough, he was one of Easton's best friends, Alice's boyfriend. I was sure that this accident could damage my friendship with Alice if I didn't do my best to repair the damage.

Provided Ryo didn't kill me first once he recovered.

The moment my ears were ringing from the pressure of the catastrophic scenarios on the horizon, I knew I had to cover myself.

I immediately called Alice but being in class, she didn't answer and I left a message on her answering machine to explain what had happened.

Then I thought about the Jackson family. I didn't know them, but I knew that Ryo's grandfather was Bradley Jackson, the founder of Eugene's largest advertising agency.

I picked up my cell phone and looked up the agency's number.

I got an answer from the exchange, but as soon as I explained the reason for my call, I was able to speak to the man's secretary, who assured me that she would notify Ryo's grandfather immediately.

As soon as I finished my call, the ambulance arrived.

Ryo was still lying motionless on the asphalt.

He was carefully loaded onto a stretcher.

In the excitement, I also got into the ambulance to explain the situation.

When we arrived at the hospital, they asked me to stay in the waiting room while Ryo was examined and tested.

A police officer from the hospital came to ask me my identity and what had happened.

It was only when I was alone that I burst into tears, releasing all my guilt for what I had done.

I cursed my grandmother for what she had predicted. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have looked at that horoscope and I wouldn't have caused that accident by stopping in the middle of the road just as Ryo was coming up.

And nothing would have happened to him if he hadn't tried to avoid me and save my life.

I didn't deserve anything! It was all my fault and if something bad like paralysis or disability was going to happen, it should have been on me.

I began to cry again, praying that my carelessness had not caused anything serious.

After about an hour and two cups of coffee, I finally heard Ryo's voice yelling something from a room down the hall.

Terrified that something serious had happened, like the amputation of a limb, I walked over and pushed the door open.

I almost cried with relief as I watched Ryo insult the nurses, rip off the gown they had put on him, and try to get up from the bed using both legs.

“ I'm fucking fine! Let me out of here, right now!

- Your grandfather said...

- I don't care what that old weasel said! If I find out who called him, I'll...”

I realized it was time to take responsibility.

I took a deep breath and walked in.

“ And who the fuck are you? He became even more enraged, pointing his murderous gaze at me, but he stopped and stared at me from head to toe. You! You're the bitch that made me slip! You fucking bastard! Because of you, I wrecked my bike.”

I swallowed the insults and moved closer, while the nurses disappeared, determined to let Ryo take it out on me.

“ I'm really sorry. I'm mortified and you don't know how much... I tried to say calmly and coolly, but my heart was beating so fast that it seemed to burst out of my chest.

- You even fucked up my python! he raged.

- I... I'm really sorry. I didn’t want to hurt your… python” I stammered, very uncomfortable, trying to keep my eyes fixed on his, but I gave in and lowered them to his black boxers. I tried to assess the damage, wondering if they had to bandage his penis, given the size of the package. I was trying to figure out what exactly I was looking at, when his voice made me flinch.

“ - You ruined that python, you idiot!” he exploded indignantly, showing me the rings of a black snake tattooed around his left arm.

From a distance, it just looked like a bruise, but up close, I noticed the design that stood out on the tanned, scarred skin mixed with the tattoo.

I took a step forward and indeed, I saw that the python's head was cut by a deep gash, to which stitches had been made. In addition, he had large dark bruises all along his arm, shoulder and side. His left leg was also injured and swollen.

He was in bad shape but luckily whole. Except for his... snake.

“ - I'm sorry about your python. I didn't mean to hurt it, I murmured embarrassingly under his fiery gaze.

- Who the fuck castrated my friend?” burst out a voice behind my back that startled me.

I turned around and found myself facing Ant and Easton, Ryo's two friends.

It was Ant who spoke and as soon as his eyes fell on me, I felt myself blushing.

A year had passed, but I hadn't stopped dreaming about him and fantasizing about us together.

Too bad he didn't even know I existed.

“ Anyway, it's not a python. It looks more like an earthworm. No need to overestimate my friend's gear. If you want a python, you have to come to my house” Ant tried to reassure me by putting a hand on my shoulder.

These words and this contact made me blush like a tomato.

I wanted to answer, to say something, but I was completely out of order and Ant's grey eyes were too bewitching not to lose my mind.

“ Do you really have to start flirting now, in front of me? Fuck, I'm out here suffering like a dog because of this crazy woman and you're trying to get her into your bed!” cut in Ryo as Easton grabbed his clothes and tried to figure out if he could be let out.

“ - You hit your head, didn't you? said Ant. Oh no, I forgot you're a pig. I put my hand on her shoulder, not on her breasts!

- Maybe it's better I wait outside,” I let out in a breath, now unable to bear another word, or the thought of Ant's hand on other parts of my body.

Outside, I happily found Kira and Alice waiting for me.

“ Are you okay? How is Ryo?”

I could only nod, still too upset. Ryo's voice was loud enough to shake the walls, although the doctors said he had a cracked rib and many bruises, but luckily nothing serious.

4

RYO

“ You can't stay alone in this shitty fraternity,” Ant asserted, staring at me with his gray eyes highlighted by the glasses he insisted on wearing constantly, to make himself look even smarter than he already was.

“ - Do you want me to move into yours? I provoked him.

- Not at all. You'd be a burden since you don't subscribe to Twitch or our Fortnite group and you're a sucker for games. Besides, I don't think you have a high enough IQ to get in,” my friend replied pedantically. I would have punched him if I didn't feel so bad.

“ - I forgot that your fraternity only admits nerds who can hold a joystick.

- I'm not just beating you up because you just had an accident, but as soon as you recover, I'm going to tear you apart... and not on Fortnite or Call of Duty, Ant threatened me immediately, proud of his brotherhood.

-I could let you have my room until you get back on your feet, Easton offered, determined to find a solution. I'm sure your group wouldn't mind if I went to live with your fraternity for a short time. It's never seemed as close-knit as Ant's.

- Would you really go to my house and leave your girlfriend here alone?” I reminded him.

I knew how attached my friend was to Alice and I would never interfere with their relationship. Easton needed her and needed to have her around.

“ - I'll go in for you, Logan interjected, arranging his fallen blonde hair in front of his face.

- No, I replied vigorously. No one knew it, but Logan had already asked me to switch, and after I found out why, I was mad as hell at him.

- Why not? It's an idea,” Easton tried to understand.

I looked at Logan, ready to dare him to contradict me. If Easton or Ant found out the truth, he knew he could lose their friendship.