Under Pressure

Shaking her head, she tried to shake the memory of the boy, put her backpack on her shoulder and followed May out of the classroom towards the university cafeteria.

She walked beside her friend, who kept talking about the torture that had been her history class. As she turned in the corridor, a strange sensation enveloped her, as if she were being watched. She lifted her head, looked around and found the same pair of blue eyes that had destabilized her all morning. Their eyes met, he blinked and she felt her face heat up.

"Mandy? Earth calling!"

The young woman broke eye contact with Ryan and looked back at May, who was watching her curiously.

"Are you alright? You look a little flushed" - the friend said and Mandy looked away to the floor.

"Um ... I am," he replied under May's scrutiny. But she gave up on lunch. It was better to go to her safe place to put her head in place. - "Friend, have lunch with the boys." "I'm going to the library. I'm not hungry and my head is hurting a lot."

"Do you want me to go with you?" - May asked, stopping in the middle of the hall. She felt guilty again for lying again, but she needed to be alone and try to understand what was going on.

"No, no need. It's quiet there and that's exactly what I need now."

May seemed a little reticent about allowing her to go there alone.

"Are you sure?"

The young woman shook her head, trying to smile slightly.

"Okay, see you later, then."

Mandy quickly moved away from May and went to the opposite side of the building, where the large library was located. She entered the old hall and waved to Polly, the librarian she had met on the first day she went there. The woman smiled back, put Mandy's things in a small reception cupboard and went to the back, where the classics were. Polly had told her that hardly anyone showed up in that section of the library during the break. Actually, rarely did anyone go there. Maybe that's why it has become her favorite place.

She walked slowly down the hall as she passed the shelves full of books. She went to the bottom, sliding her fingertips over the thick, old spines of the books she loved so much. Halfway there, she stopped in front of Jane Austen's books and took Pride and Prejudice off the shelf, hugging the old, hardcover copy to her chest.

She sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, with the book in her hand. Her fingers felt around the cover, outlining the gold letters. She opened the book on some page and brought it close to her face, smelling the words printed on the yellowed paper.

"I thought that poetry was the food of love"

She read the sentence spoken by Mr. Darcy and closed the book, resting her head on her knees, which were bent close to her body. With her eyes closed, her thoughts returned to the exact moment of the bump. It had never happened to her. Never, never really, she has been so rocked by anyone, so unstructured as she was. She needed to get him out of her head.

She was silent, with her eyes closed for a while. Then, a light touch of her hair made it fall over her shoulders. Lifting her head quickly, surprised, she found Ryan himself kneeling right in front of her. He looked at her intently, his blue eyes looking darker, almost the color of night.

"Are you OK?" - He asked as he put a lock of hair behind her ear.

Mandy was unable to speak. The words failed her and she just nodded, despite not being well. The tension in the air was almost tactile and she couldn't understand why he was so close to her, almost invading her personal space.

"Ah, Cinderella," he murmured, without taking his eyes off hers, moving closer. - "I can't get you out of my head."

Ryan leaned in. His eyes strayed from hers and wandered toward her mouth. Mandy's lips parted and she ran the tip of her tongue over them, trying to moisten them. He smiled slightly, getting closer and closer. They were millimeters apart. She could almost feel the brush of his lips against hers.

Tired of resisting and trying to rationalize what she was feeling, she closed her eyes and lifted her lips instinctively. She felt the hot breath very close to her face and when Ryan's mouth finally touched hers, she was startled: several books fell from the top of the bookcase over her head.

Mandy opened her eyes in alarm and realized that there was no one in that hidden corridor. She should have dozed off and dreamed of him and, somehow, pushed the bookcase causing all those books to fall.

I shouldn't have lied to May, she thought, rubbing the top of her head. That was her punishment for lying and wanting something she knew she could never have.

Well done, Amanda Summers. Now, her headache was real and she still had an extra job, which was putting everything back in place.

***

As Mandy headed for the library, May stood in the cafeteria, watching her friend walk away and feeling her chest tight with worry. They were like sisters and, despite the difference in age between the two being a few months old, the friend always awakened May's protective instinct, who knew she was a melancholy girl and that she had a great sadness inside her. As much as she said she didn't care about her father's departure, she knew that it contributed a lot to her insecurity. She was a beautiful, sweet and very intelligent girl. She was talented, her dedication and performance in ballet was admirable, but Mandy couldn't see herself that way. And that was why May did her best to get her up and worried when she looked like this: strange and more introspective than usual.

When Mandy disappeared from view, May turned and headed for the cafeteria. As she passed through the double doors, she saw a huge hall. She had not yet entered there. On the right side, the dishes were arranged in stacks, right next to the counter where a lady was replacing the food. Ahead, a large refrigerator with a glass door held soda, juice and water.

She went there and started to put food on her plate. When she reached the end of the counter, she grabbed a Coca-Cola, passed the cashier and paid for lunch. Then she turned and looked around. The room full of tables was packed. Deep in the back of the room, she saw Yoshi swing his arm to get her attention. She smiled to let him know she had seen him and started walking with the tray in her hands. She passed between the tables and noticed that, as in high school, the places were separated by groups. There was the table of the nerds, the rockers, the athletes and the table of the ordinary people - like her. Finally, she reached the table and smiled at her friends, who were in a lively conversation about cars. Sean reached out, took the tray from her hand and placed it on the table, while Yoshi pulled the chair beside her so that May could sit. She thought their care for her was cute.

The girl barely greeted them and thanked them for their kindness when Sean interrupted her.

"Where's Mandy? Didn't she come with you?"

"She went to the library," she replied. - "She has a headache."

He made an expression of displeasure, but she ignored it. She liked him, they had been part of the same group of friends since they were kids, but Sean had a fixation on Mandy that went over a little of what she considered reasonable. She knew that her friend had no romantic interest in him and that the two had already talked about it. But although he said that he understood and that he would like them to remain friends, May found the feeling of possession he displayed to be quite strange.

"So, May, how was the history class?" - Yoshi asked and the conversation about the terrible class distracted her.

A few moments later, a buzz began to form at the table to her left, where the basketball team and the cheerleaders stood, in their short white and blue uniforms. Although they were not part of that group, they were sitting very close to them.

"Ryyyyy-aaannnn!" - Ashley Walters's thin voice rang in her ears.

Ashley was the captain of the basketball team's cheerleaders. She was beautiful, had a perfect body, shiny blond hair and incredibly blue eyes. She was the perfect stereotype of the college cheerleader. But, as sick as her voice, Ashley was not what could be considered good company. May had had the displeasure of attending the first class of the day with her - which had been terrible - but largely because of the girl. Boring, rude and prejudiced, Ashley only treated well who was part of her group and the strangest thing is that most of the people she got along with, did not see it. She was very popular and admired by most of the students: the boys were crazy to go out with her and the girls wanted to be like her.

" Ryann-annn ," - she called again, as if she were singing his name. May didn't know how anyone there at that table could tolerate Ashley. May had only known her for five minutes and already hated her.

"What is it, Ash?" - Ryan asked, looking impatient.

"Are you doing charity now, giving attention to the needy?"

He raised his eyebrow, looking quite surprised by the question.

"What are you talking about?" - He asked, his blue eyes showing confusion.

Her face showed a smug expression. She raised an eyebrow and said:

"I saw you in the hall, making out with a little chick, earlier."

He frowned, while the other girls who were next to her smiled mischievously when they heard the mean nickname.

May looked at Sean and Yoshi, who looked as surprised as she did. The girl looked back at the table and her eyes strayed from Ryan to Ashley, as if she were watching an exciting tennis match. She looked back at Ryan, who looked a little uncomfortable. Who was he clinging to? He was always harassed at school, so May had no doubt that at university he should be much more.

"What is it, Ashley?" - The expression on Ryan's face was quite boring. - "I don't give you the freedom to talk to me like that!"

"I'm not saying anything too much, Ry. Everyone saw that you went after that skinny girl in literature class after the meeting in the hall." - Ash made an innocent expression and continued. - "You used to have a better taste for girls, dear."

She pouted and laughed, accompanied by friends who looked more like imitation monkeys.

"I don't understand your comment, Ashley. You have no right to talk to me like that,” - he replied. - "In addition, you need to learn to respect people in order to be respected. Mandy has a name, she's an amazing girl and doesn't deserve to be treated that way by anyone. And nothing much happened. I bumped into her in the hall and went to apologize in class. That’s it."

Mandy? Did he say Mandy? Was Ryan referring to my Mandy ?, May wondered and looked at Sean and Yoshi, who were staring at each other with their mouths open, just like her.

"May, is he talking about Mandy?" - Yoshi asked quietly.

"I think so," - she replied. Something happened and Mandy didn't tell me!, May thought to herself, but was awakened from her rambling by Ashley's irritating voice.

" I have every right to say what I want, Ryan! Besides, you know you should be with me, don't you? I am the cheerleader of the basketball team!" - She leaned against him, running a hand on his arm. Ryan took her hand and pushed it away. He laughed, but it didn't look like fun.

"Ash, don't make me laugh. I. Have. Already. Said. I. Don't. Want. Anything. With. You - he punctuated each word, pointing a finger at her. - "Don't be ridiculous. Your insistence on these ridiculous clichés is pathetic."

At this point, the entire cafeteria fell silent and everyone was looking at them. The silence was so deep that May could almost hear the sound of Ryan's breathing, which was accelerating. Ashley's mouth fell open at the boy's outburst, who stood up, almost knocking over the chair on the floor, and left the cafeteria, throwing the backpack on his back. Nobody dared to say a word during that moment.

May looked away at Ashley who looked angry. She hoped she wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Guys, I'm going after Mandy. I need to find out what's going on" - the girl spoke softly, when the cafeteria came to life. She stood up and Sean did the same.

"I'm going with you, May" - Sean offered, but the girl refused. If something had happened, Sean's presence would be more of a hindrance than a help.

"No, Sean. I'll go. We don't even know what's going on."

"But, May..." he tried again, but she didn't budge.

"She won't tell me anything if you're together, Sean. She's my best friend. Let me talk to her” - she said, needing to be tough on him.

Sean agreed, having no other option. When May started picking up her things to get up, the trio of cheerleaders - Ashley, Hannah and Cheryl - passed by their table and she felt herself shiver. She hoped they wouldn't start picking on Mandy. She knew that type of girl very well. Spoiled preppies who thought the world revolved around their navel. The last thing they needed was to get in trouble with that kind of person.

She waited for the three of them to leave the cafeteria. She put the backpack on her shoulder and went to the library after Mandy.

***

As she passed the reception, Polly smiled at May. The librarian already knew the little redhead, who always showed up looking for her friend.

"Is she here?" - May asked quietly.

"Yes, in the back, with Miss Austen and Sir Shakespeare " - she replied, laughing.

The young woman thanked her and went on to the classics of world literature class. It was no surprise that she was in that area of the library, since Pride and Prejudice was her favorite book. May went through a multitude of bookcases, until a noise caught her eye and she ran towards the sound. Finally, she found Mandy, who was sitting on the floor, with her hair messed up and several books lying around her.

"Mandy?" - She raised her head and looked scared to her friend. Her eyes were full of tears. - "Sweetie, what happened?"

"Ah, May..." - she murmured and the tears she was holding began to fall.

May knelt beside her and pulled her into a hug, feeling helpless.

"Calm down sweetie. It's okay ... don't cry" - she murmured, trying to calm her down. - "Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"I can't explain for sure why I'm like this." - she replied, trying to wipe away the tears.

"Talk to me, friend. You know you can trust me."

Mandy then started talking and told everything: the bump in Ryan in the hall, the partnership in the literature project, the disturbing dream.

"I know it sounds silly, May, but I was very nervous," - she said, wiping away her tears. - "You know I have no experience with boys. And Ryan ... well, I have to be honest ... he shakes me a lot. I never found myself in a situation like this and I didn't know how to act. Worse is that I was rude to him and we still have to do the project together."

Mandy felt even more embarassed. Verbalizing her immature behavior made her feel even worse.

"There's nothing silly, Mandy. I understand. It's very normal for us to feel a little ... overwhelmed, when we don't have experience. Unsafe. Even more next to a boy like him" - May spoke and smiled slightly, trying to calm her down. - "I think I would also be nervous if I had someone like Ryan as a project partner."

May paused briefly and then asked quietly:

"Do you think he's into you?

Mandy opened and closed her mouth a few times, as if she couldn't get the words out. She shook her head, denying.

"No, I think it's his way. You should treat all girls like that." - She raised her arms and gestured. - "He's Ryan McKenna, for God's sake!" - Mandy vented and the two started laughing. Suddenly, May remembered why she went looking for her: the mess in the cafeteria.

"Um ... friend, there was some fuzz in the cafeteria."

"Mess ?"

"Yep. Do you know who Ashley is?" - May asked and Mandy shook his head. - "Do you know a blonde who was at the cafe earlier today with the cheerleaders? She was the only one with her hair up, blue eyes ..."

"Um, I think so" - Mandy said, frowning. - "You know I'm not very attached to these things."

"Yeah, but she saw your incident in the hall." - Mandy's eyes widened slightly. - "And kept asking Ryan about it."

"Oh..."

The girl reported the details of the argument between the two and Mandy listened to everything with her hand over her mouth, scared.

"And now, May? If these girls catch me, I'm screwed!"

"I think the best thing for now is to mind your own business. Have your classes, do it fine. When do you have literature class again?"

"Only next Monday."

"Let's hope this is the only class you will attend with him. Closer to Saturday, we rethink what happened and decide what to do."

"Oh, my God ... I'm going to die of embarassment!" - Mandy hid her face in her hands and burst out laughing at her dramatic demeanor.

" I know, Mandy, but in the end, everything will be fine. I'm sure it will be."

The girls hugged each other again. May tried to be calm, despite being as nervous as her friend. She really hoped everything went well.

"Shall we fix this mess before Polly comes over here and tells us off?" - The redhead asked and Mandy nodded, bending down to pick up some books and began to tidy up the shelves.

Chapter Five

Ryan left the cafeteria angrily and went straight to the gym. The boy needed to do something to vent the anger he was feeling. Not that he was a violent or tough guy, but Ashley had the power to piss him off and take him seriously. But that was nothing new. Since the previous year, when they were still freshmen, her obstinacy in saying that they should be a couple, since he was not attracted to her, had crossed the line. Her insistence - which bordered on obsession - had left him in a position where just hearing her voice would made him angry. If the bullshit she used to say was also considered, the result was not good.

He went into the men's locker room and put his things in the closet with his name, after taking out shorts, T-shirt and sneakers. A run would do him good. The release of endorphins by physical activity would make him cool his head and be calmer. After getting dressed, he went to the court. He was stretching when Dean, his best friend and teammate, showed up.

"Hey, guy! How are you?"

Without stopping to stretch, Ryan stared at the blue eyes of the boy who was as tall and strong as he was, and answered with a grunt.

"Annoyed" - he muttered, continuing to stretch, accompanied by his friend. They were silent for a few moments, until Dean spoke again.

"What happened in the cafeteria, Ry?" - The boy asked, puzzled. - "Each day, you are more impatient with Ash. And this is not the kind of thing that usually happens to you, quite the opposite. You are the most patient guy I know."

Dean was right. The friend was very calm and always encouraged his teammates to have a kinder and friendlier behaviour. He believed that violence led to nothing and that their differences - with anyone - should be solved with dialogue.

But it didn't seem to apply to Ashley.

"Ashley pisses me off, Dean. I can't stand this girl."

"I know, she gets tough sometimes. But did you need to get to that point? And the other girl? Are you going out with her anyway?"

Just hearing about Mandy, the image of the girl with very dark hair and sweet perfume came to his mind. It was strange how a bump made him so impressed ... maybe it was the fact that they attended the same school in high school. Who knows, some kind of recognition ... of familiarity with someone from his hometown. Or, maybe it was Mandy, her delicate and skittish way, that made him want to know everything about her.

"No, man, I'm not. I almost dropped her in the hall, I had to hold her so she wouldn't fall to the floor. Then, when I went to class, I found out that we were in the same class and the teacher assigned us as a pair for the semester project. That's all that happened” - he explained.

The two finished stretching and started running. Their movements seemed rehearsed, foot to foot hitting the ground in a rhythmic way, the result of a lot of training together and a partnership that surpassed the games.

"So, why all that, Ry? If she's a girl you barely know, why fight Ash over her?"

"I do not accept Ashley's arrogant behavior. She has no right to question who I have a relationship with - lovingly or not. And I'm tired of seeing her mistreating people, of making fun of other students. At that time, in the cafeteria, she was making fun of a girl who did nothing to her, just because Mandy is not part of her group of friends. I am against this kind of injustice. I'm even thinking of talking to the cheerleader team coach. As an important member of the team, she needs to be a positive role model for people, and that's not what happens, you know."

Dean looked at him, surprised. As team captain, Ryan has always condemned any aggressive attitude - in any case - on the team. He always had an active voice with the team, stimulated egalitarian attitudes among the players and promoted activities to support the community. But he had never been involved in any controversy with the cheerleaders. The team coach was extremely rigid, she required hard work on choreography and exemplary behavior, and such a complaint could cause Ashley many problems - perhaps even expulsion from the team.

"But who is this girl, Mandy? I don't think I know her” - Dean asked, as they completed the course and started the second lap on the field. Their pace was quite fast.

"Freshman" - Ryan explained.

Dean rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Yeah... Ashley is terrible with freshmen...."

"As if she's never been one" - Ryan pointed out and Dean laughed. They continued to run. Sweat was beginning to wet his hair, but his breathing was controlled. - "She passed us at the entrance. Short, very dark hair with bangs and green eyes." - Dean watched him as Ryan described the girl and was surprised to see a small smile appear on his friend's lips. Yes, Ryan, like Dean, was a popular guy, dated a few girls and there was always someone interested in being his date at campus parties, but the two boys had shown no interest in anyone in particular. They hadn't fallen in love, that was the truth. - "We did high school at the same school."

"Um..." - Dean murmured as they continued to run. They were on the third lap around the field. - "Is it a freshman who arrived with a red-haired fox, in a red car?"

"Ahem" - Ryan nodded, his breath starting to accelerate.

"Dude, she's a fox!" - Dean spoke and Ryan nodded, looking at his friend and trying to find out if his friend was interested in her. - "But she's serious, isn't she? She and her friend took a class with me before lunch"

"I think so" - Ryan replied, uncomfortable. Was the friend interested in her? Suddenly, he felt a knot in his stomach and his heart racing.

I think the strong sun is doing me harm. It can only be that, he thought to himself.

The boys ran a little more in silence. When they completed the sixth lap, Dean slowed down, being accompanied by Ryan.

"I'm going to stop" - Dean said, and Ryan nodded. - "I have class in twenty minutes."

Ryan agreed and the two went to the locker room, still in silence. On the way, he went over the conversation, feeling that discomfort again.

***

The summer days in Providence passed slowly. Ryan saw Mandy a few times in the halls, always quiet, with her redheaded friend. He realized that she was very different from most Brown girls, who used to wear short, low-cut clothes and flirt with guys in and out of classrooms. Her clothes were always well behaved and her shyness barely allowed her to talk to a stranger.